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THE
COOS BAY TIMES. MARSHFIELD, OREGON. FRIDAY, JUNE 18, 1915-EVENING EDITION.
THREE
The Central Avenue Booster
n
vol. 1.
SfLliJIIJlIK
CEXTItAb AVEXUE, 1MHDAY, .It'XE II, m.
TO DO
ATTER
hnt doctor writes ynii- proscription, ,. ,,, ,,,.
M(s name. Is on II u,. ran till , ,, , ,, ,,,
gho jom doctor llu moat est ( poshlo
J RUIA1IILITT
iv' WOWl
l PRKv!!,nTioR
.Ji( HAIIMACY
"MM lt L w
Till: CEXTItAD AVEXUE BOOSTEU
Published Every Friday In the Inter
cst (if Coos liny In General ami
Central Avenue In particular.
ITfaffTfJTf KTannt7awi7 n n .- I
iflUNi IJbl! ARE DUIiED BY
. .
Ni. 17
SOME COOS I1AV XA.MES
Subscription Price. Your good will,
nnd membership In tho Booster Club
n ,vi . , (IBA,RGAINS IN CHINA
See Our ttlndnw or Urn Innious lluiuNoine Cnito Abhocr WW
IMileco dlnnor sets only s" o
,0-pleco dinner Bet, only '' j,,',,,,
CD-piece dinner set, only a,,'-..
Jsl l.oO
lUO-plceo dlnnor Bet, only soo
Oilil ami extra pieces propoitimmtcly cheap.
MAR5HFIELD HARDWARE CO.
Central Ateiiuo and Broadway.
OCIl I'I,ATF()HM.
One Street, One Flap, Ono Country,
.. ..and Ono Wlfo nt a time
oru iti:r,u;iox.
To Do Good.
Ol'lt POLITICS.
Mora Business.
Entered at tho I'ostotflco ns strictly
First-Class matter; there Is nothing
Second-Class about Central Avcnuo.
Tailoring, Cleaning & Pressing
to ki:i:i' yol'h clothes ix (;ooi siiapi: tiiev mist iiavi:
hO.MH A'lTEXTlOX :: :: :: A STITCH IX TIME SAVES XIXE
Jay Doyle's Place
ll.'tl Contra! Avenuo Phone t!."0-.Y
Wo Call Any Tlino Any Place.
oru STAFF.
Managing Editor. "Nationally Ad
vertised" Prank D. Cohan.
Dairy Editor Ivy Condron.
Financial Editor. Horsey Ivrelt
i.aition i.mtor Hay Olllvant.
ltccrcatlou Editor ,T. T. Ilarrignn.
Musical Editor X,. h. Thomas.
P.'oneer Editor (ieo. K. Cook.
Children' Department "Candy Kid'
Stiiffoid. Eoltor.
tzcr.
JjATEST WAIl HUM.ETIX
(Prom Tho Booster's Special Cor
respondent nt Athens.) "
thglr gnlht slht teg ot yrt llo'W
remtuus 11a scknt tl (I
IcrceO n dner ot yrt rove you dll)
?repap
Wo don't want to fight,
Hut It seems some others do,
So give them Bhlps, free Europe
trips,
And n right good rlddnncc, too.
Eveiry Possible Banking
Accommodation amid
Courtesy to Ouiir Patrons
Tho following of this policy has resulted In
tho Me.iily .mil suli-tnntlal growth or this
hank since it as established. Eery tleposl
tor, no mallei' how small, is entitled to ami
recchcs eery possible couilesy ami nccnin
inoilatloii hero. This is a homo haul; own
ed, iiuiimgcd and controlled by local cltleu.s
It Miniiltl be YOL'lt bank.
First National Bank
Of Coos Bay '
Central Avenue Marshfield, Oregon
llonry Sengstaeken hurried hack
the first of tho week when ho heard
thnt J. T. llarrlgun had returned
from tho south front with an ar
mored nutn. A truco has been tem
porarily declared so that Central
Avomto will not bo cut In trenches
nnd spoil the Fourth of July cele
bration. kmm.e-a-wiiim:
CEXTIIAIj AVEXt'E SAYIXCS
The nverngo Central Avenuo wo
man enn ehnugo her mind In half
tho time It takes Dave Stnfford to
part his hair.
. ED. MEADE
KANDY NOOK
TAKE A LOOK
Noble Theatre. Central Avenue.
A Central Avonuo mnu remarked
"If a railroad president Is a "rail
head" and an oil company's presi
dent Is an "oil head" n follow who
inlsos ns much maple sugar ns
Prank Palgo does on his Now York
farm, according to Tho Booster must
bo a "snp bond." Walt till FrAnk
Palgo returns and thoro will bo a
new declaration of war.
lll'll!
Now there's my friend Vlnce Pratt,
I like to hand li I tit roasts,
For ho spends all day boasting thnt
He never, never boasts.
SMII.E-A-YVIIIU:
A Ml'liTIPMEIt
"The English sparrow can't sub
tract, And he can't add," said Al Meyer;
And yet we can't deny tho fact
That he's some multiplier."
SMII,E.A.V!III.E
OX HIS METTLE
Al Neff, he Is ns true ns Steel
Ills Iron Will scorns strife
His nerve is Brass, ho ennnot feel
Tho Hard Wear of this life.
SMILE-A-WHII.E
AX EPITAPH
Hero lies tho bones of J. T. Brand,
Ho was a careless rummy;
Ho took n Seldlltz powder nnd
Ho mixed It in his tummy.
SMILE-A-WHILE
FOOMSIIMEXT
A girl by tho nniiie of I.uolln
Onco Bat In the show with her fella.
Ho sneezed In a way
That cnused her to say:
"Gosh, George! Slmll I ralso an
umbrella?"
SMILE-A-WHII.E
Oil, VEItY WELL!
I think I nm n foxy mutt,
1 know ono when I sco ono.
I llko to do n good thing, but
1 do not wnnt to bo ono.
SMILE-A-WHILE
Co i reel.
"Though mnn Is made of dust,"
said Haines, "
"He's might suro to land
If ho sees thnt his dust contains
A good supply of sand."
SMILE-A-WIIIM:
WUFF!
Uemnrked a Front street fellow
numed Pete,
"Althou' I'm equipped with two
CREED OF 'KNOCKERS' CLUB
Attend our Big Sale of the HAINES'
MUSIC STOCK at 73 Central Ave.
Bo Alien .Co0
L. h, THOMAS, Mgr.
CENTRAL AVENUE. RUSSELL BLK.
BEWARE
of Smooth Would-;
Be Insurance
Twisters i
Talie them with n grain of salt, and
,0k up their financial standing when
Iheytc'iyou thev enncivo you some-1
Wng better than MI'TI'AIj 1,1 KK of
EW VOItlv rrnnrnsntltlnc Gil mil
lions), js delivering.
"hei In doubt fco
Pair Winning. Tho Booster
knows Just how ninny fish Al Glos
sop nnd Jesso Terrell got last Tues
day at the harbors' picnic nnd Just
I what they did when thoy weren't
' fishing nnd unless they do better by
i Yo Editor next tlmo, wo- shall ox
I poso tlioin.
, smii.h-a-wiiii.i:
j (Ms Vcidlrt for S-JO.-J. Clny
Church has boon in court this week
' whero ho had n suit for J5000
'nKaiust tho Nobles for damages in
a motorcycle accident oil Central
avonuo. Ho got a verdict for 205.
Clay Mys It wns ovldont thnt tho
formers' Jury didn't llko inotorcyclos.
Ho says he's Kind ho didn't suo for
$.100 or otherwise tho vordlct might
feet,
A yard-stick with three
Has nothing on me,
And 1 nm a great deal moro fleet."
S.MH.E-A-WHII.E
VAUYIXO VIEWS.
"It's simply flue to wnko up these
niornlng8," remarked Arthur Pock,
who has cnuso to bo Hentlmeiit.il
those dnys, "and hear tho leaves
whispering outside your window."
"It's nil right to hear tho leaves
whlspor," replied tho practical and
cynical John (loss', "hut 'l could
nover stniid hearing the grass
mown."
.smii.e-a-wjiim:
Everything Is Wrong, Nothing
Bight, Declare the "Charter
Meniltei-s."
A Central Atomic Booster who
has got a gllmpso ot tho document
says thnt vach member ot tho
"Knockers Club" has been request
ed to sign the following:
. "I believe that nothing Is right.
I believe that everything Is wrong.
1 believe thnt 1 nlono hnvo tho
right Idea. The town Is wrong, tho
editor Is wrong, tho teachers aro
wrong, the people are wrong, the
tilings tney uro doing nro wrought
and they aro doing them in the
wrong way. 1 bellevo I could fix
things If they would let mo. If
thoy don't 1 will got n lot of fel
lows llko myself nnd wo will have
a law passed to mnko others do
tho things the way WE wnnt them
dono.
"I do not bellevo tho town ought
to grow. It Is too big now. 1 be
lieve in fighting every public Im
provement and In spoiling every
body's pleasure. I nm always to
tho front In opposing things nnd
never yet hnvo I advanced nn Idea
or supported u movement that would
mnko peoplo hnppler or add to tho
plensuro of mini, woman or child.
I am opposed to fun nnd nm hap
piest at n funeral. 1 bellevo In start
ing reforms that will take nil tho
Joy out of lite. It's n sail world
and I nm glad of It. Amen."
SMII.E-A-WIIII.E
It's n long way to Tlppernry, '
It's n long wny to go.
It's but a short step to our Sodn Fountain
And the finest drinks you know.
Good-bye to city water;
Farewell nil other drinks.
It's a long, long wny to Tlppernry,
But hcic'8 tho right plnco niethlnks.
Stafford's Sanitary Fountain
Central Atomic
Phono 80-Ij
J PERSONAL MENTION :
?
E. I. CHANDLER wns seen yester
day headed for Front street nnd
pushing a perambulator. What
does this menu, "Ike."
' smiu.'-a-wiiiu:
ED MEADE HAYS:
If biz Is bad
You sure must nd
Vertlso you'ro ghul;
Do not bo sad
And wish you had
A rich old dad,
Who Is cash mad
And bus n fad
Of giving bid
The hlck'ry gad
Without a pad.
Your's truly,
Tut!,
With love to Cad.
s.mii.ina-wihm:
FItED WEAVER says that with Ills
' partner nwny u wedding nt his
house this week, the celebration
coming on, lie's been Just about as
busy as any of them this week
In fact "i7 vnrlutles of hlzzy
blzzyuess. smile-a-wiiim:
(IEO. E. COOK doffeil Ills Conn
cllmanlc togu am! donned his
Moose horns yesterday to Journey
to Biinilou-by-the-Scn nnd secure
some moro members of tho Moose
excursion to the Sim Francisco
Fair If they hnvo the fare.
smii-k-a-wiiiu: 1
DAIIA' ADVICE
Don't wnsto your tlmo In hating
a mini you clout iiko. .hi hi icoi
hnvo been ngnliiBt him for riding a thankful thnt ho wasn't twins,
bkyclo,
Tho trouble with n wlfo Is thnt
SMir.E-A-WIHIiE
I she either bellovos too much or not
enough.
FItANK COHAN who so successfully,
conducted the Goddess contest i
for the Inst celebration says that
ho desires the honor to bo passed '
around. IU.' says the past weeks
have been too strenuous to add
anything to its stroiiuoslty nnd i
when It comes to conducting n
successful Goddess campaign It '
Is Homo strenuous, says Frank,
nnd about the only credit you get
Is thnt the other fellow gets It.'
SMIMNA-WIIII.E
YOP KNOW TIIE.M. I
Home people, I find to my sorrow,
Would rather he grouchy than
gay;
They never put off till tomorrow
Tho moan things they can do
today.
smii.e-a-whim:
Knead the Dough?
t
1
'IBP
FT
I Coos
lAMERAS
and FTBtfT
.
HliKii we nave
the Ansco
Speedex, the high
est development
of the folding
camera. Comes
in three sizes at
$45 to $55. Other
Anscos, $2 up.
See them all. Wo
are headquarters
for evprythirE
photographic.
A young man spends most of his
I tlmo trying to show his knowledge
An old man spends most of his time
. trying to conceal bis Ignorance.
1)11. W. A. TOYE, !
DENTIST )
Hours 0 to 12; 1 to C.
Itooin uoi, Irving llldg. '
Central Atciiin. Mnihhfii'ld ,
4
1
I
Bay .Stationary
'bono i).1
DID Central Ave.
Co.
TRY OUR FLOUR.
Good Flour Makes Good Citizens,
BE GOOD!
SENGSTACKEN 'HAINES
Egotism Is n good thing If you,
don't gut so much of It that It ,
mnkoH you bloated. In tho words
of tho pout:
"jjon't bo a wlso guy," said BUI
Tool,
"Or you will suroly got a call,
"For' of nil tho fools tho biggest
fool
"Is he who thinks ho knows It
all." v
Waiting For One
at the Plate
"ie In- -ranee man in Coke Bull lun?. t
W.OI II ITED
WDIIU
tcifr-ut, (cntuil tcniio
it Rift XatttVuUt
i
Friend Wlfo may bo too deaf to
hear you when you ask her to sow
on a button, but If you aro talking
to a strange girl a block away from
whoro 'Friend Wlfo Is located, she
can hoar otory word ou ssy.
Bitter mtidlclne, llko bjttor exper
ience, may he the best.
It is nover too late to blame your
mistakes on tho other follow.
A fool bachelor Imagines that It
t takes two to make nn argument, hut j
n nnrrled man knows bettor. '
1 I
Isn't half as much fun as
waiting for a friend
at the
Smokehouse
The Home of
Good Cigars and Good
Tohaccos
Chandler Hotel Bldg.
Fresh Fruits
and Vegetables
The choicest that the Portland, San Francisco and Coos
County markets can furnish us.
We have made a special effort to provide for ail desires
in these lines.
Phone us your order, or drop in.
Remember, that they are all quality goods.
COOK'S
GROCERY
P
ROMPT
OPULAR
ROGRESSIVE
I'hono 181).
EVERYTHING FRESH TODAY
Received on the boats from Portland, San Francisco and
Coos River.
Here are a few suggestions: -
Local (!rcen l'ens
Siring Menus
Bed mid White New Potatoes '
Klitihaib
Hunch Turnips
Carrots .
Itmllslies
Onions
CticmuberH
New Local Cabbago
Blpe TonmtocM
Cnullflimcr
California Cherries ,
Coos Cherries
Pcnihcft 'M
AprlcotN
Cantaloupes ,
Watermelon
HtniH berries
Oranges
Bananas
Florida and California (,'rnpo
Fruit
Fiy Mi Cocoanuts
CurrniilH
NASBURG.
GROCERY
Comer Central Avenuo mid Second
Street.
Pure Foods
WITH A "MOXEY-B.VCK" GUAItAXTEE
This Is our motto nnd on this basis we have built up a steady,
' fastidious trade. i
You cannot bo too ciltlcal lo suit lis; It Is the hard-to-pleaso
customer whom wo know wo can satisfy; tho ono who will Miy n
little moro for io.il I'uio Food rrodurl, and IiisIsIh on having theni.
This is the "Ojinlllj" satlsfuctloit that means bealtli ami com
fort lo joii, mid tho right tradn for us, '
Another thing whether joii telephone, come, or semi, your
I'liro I'ood demands will bo faithfully supplied.
I'llEHH COOS IIIVEIt VEGirrAHIiES
Ollivamit & Weaver
PURE FOOD GROCERS
TRY SOME OF OUR STRAWBERRIES
The home of H. J. Heinz' 57 Varieties; Hunt's Supreme
and Preferred Stock Canned Goods.
Corner Third and Central. Phono 199.
InventoryjList Free
.Special blank forms provided for Itemizing tho articles In
your hoiisoliohl, fiiriilturo, kUchou furnishings, etc., so that In
case of a loss you can have everything listed. They aro most con
venient. Call t my offlco and nceuro ono. They are freo to
everyone. I
It's our aim to servo our patrons and tho public.
E. I. CHANDLER.
1XHUIIAXCE
COKE IIUIfiDIXa
PLAN TO TAKE
UMDAY DINNER
AT TIIE
Charadlleif Hotel
a Good Menu
The Hub of
Gent ml A venue
I
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