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About The Coos Bay times. (Marshfield, Or.) 1906-1957 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 23, 1915)
;-tj J' m vhS HOME AND FARM MAGAZINE SECTION 1G u i- " UBKI Stories the World Meets With Smiles The Sllit of Voik. SOMU time ago a liobo called at n Biiburban homo for food and was promised a good dlanor If bo would assist In cleaning up tbo lawn. Do ing hungry, tho hobo acquiesced, and was put to work carting soil in a wheelbarrow. "Say," remarked tho gardener, smilingly, after watching Willie got away with two or three loads, "do yon always Juggle a wheelbarrow like that?" "Surest thing- on earth," answered tho hobo. "Anything the matter with my performance?" "You aro not hooked up right," returned tho gardener. "You ought to push n wheelbarrow and not pull "I know," admitted tho tramp, with n long-drawn sigh, "but I can't stand tho sight of tho cussed thing." The Kntfago Joke. lltmiAH i.nl.1 n lintnt llinnflnAI in fl waiter, "what did that gent from g nliln Vn. 7 Innvn nn qilililnnlv for?" 0 "Well, Blr," said tho waiter, "ho sat down and naked for sausages, nud I told him wo woro out of thorn, but if ho would caro to wait a few min utes I could got the cook to make somo." "Well," said the manager, "what then 7" "I went to tho kitchen," resumed tho waiter, "and accidentally trod upon a dog'H tall, and of course it yelped. And suddenly tho gont got up and loft." Cruel Kliidiu-s.s. "What's tho matter, old man?" "Oh, I'vo had n bit of hard luck." "Haven't been lilt In tho stock mar ket, I hopo?" "No, a follow who pretends to bo a friend of mlno has a box at tbo opera and ho has Invited my wife and my solf to go as his guests next Tuesday evening." "I shouldn't call that hard luck." "You would it It mado It neces sary for you to buy your wife a now lint, now gloves, new silk stockings, now $12 shoes, a now gown, n now opera cloak and rent a taxlcab for the night." Plymouth lloclc. A Now Kngland Bchooltoachor re cited "Tho Lauding of tho Pilgrims" to her pupils, then asked them to draw n plcturo of Plymouth Hock. One Ditto follow hesitated and then raised his hand. "Well, Willie, what Is it?" asked tho teacher. "Peaso, teacher, do you want us to draw u hen or a rooster?" Not Hlghl. Horbcrt and Helen were sitting on tho bench in tho moonlight, vlien, moved by nn impulso ho could not resist, ho suddonly kissed her. "Oh, Herbert!" alio oxclalmcd, "that's not right." "I'm very sorry, Helen." replied Horbcrt humbly; "I did the boat I know how. Won't you show mo tho proper way?" Tim Sen-fioiTH. "All!" cried tho VlklnB'a daughter as bIio caught tho flying spray In her radiant faco, "a llfo on tho ocoau wnvo for me! Isn't it perfectly gor geous, Alglo?" "Oh h h, yos," gurgled Alglo, making n broak for tho rail, "oh, yo3 ah ah dlsgorgeoiiB." Still Has n Pull. Jnmos (who Is broke) I have ono faithful friend loft. Hulks (also broke) Who Is it?" Jamos My pipe. I can still draw on that. It All Depended. "I wondor how many mou will bo mado unhappy whoii I marry," said tho flirt. "How many do you oxpect to marry?" answorcd her doarost friend. Not Professional llnuity, Chnpplo Joss told mo she would not marry tho handsomest man that over lived. May Well, that doen't affect your chances, does it? Puck. A CHANCE TO MAKE MONEY JTA. JB. a. w . 3(t illlM f , 100 ac, Willamette lllv feW &00?K BnfIWbaM"co,Tor.Vlmo . l-cr cent ...torcl. Here Is Another This Man Is Looking for a Willamette Valley Farm iniS mail lb lVUXWllg v, 4 mr o,MM, Jl'HT THINK! .lOOO incro.. In .. ... i i a.i. Anon amcaii a r tm inn i.ciin. UiHiiiihi w ---- - - utiii. t,innn irnnu imrnun. it itii- niui wnniK ici vri,"J.r".Y.".V.'.v.,i ",":. i n.Y.i Itnnrnvoil: n only or water. u r'.'ttK iV-"..i niilru on iviieat. now; muiiiiiu,.. ..,".--.--", ...... farlu rr,,,, KOvh vmi u , ''? ,, .-,., aSSSSKHSBflHl This Party Has a Longing for the Same Locality II. ha, to trn.1. a fine ranch of OS acre, 25 mllo. 8, U of Hl"lno I" nyotl&J IXItiAW bk,rce. irI,il&A,'a-.ti " " JOHN E. HOWARD, 309 Chamber of Commerce, Portland, Oregon j IIMIBI IIIIIBII I1IIIWTT1 MMMMMBliaWglWM"w"BWWM'' rHflvasrravaHaarTaaiBnBBiBBBHnBHBHnHHBHMHiS9HHHHH9flMHHHVViJ!MBKBawvB The Greatest Grass Grown in America Grown North Hay Grain Forage Silage Grown South GROW SUDAN GRASS TIIIJ MOST WOMir.ltl'UI. (JHASS Ol-'TIIIJ AUK liilrmlurrd nml Indorsed by llio V. S. AKrtruHurnl Urpnrfmcnt. Telrd rrrrly by Hip fiirmrr lit nil inirt ol Tcimi nnd Mronuly recommended liy t.o Farmers' Oonnrcwi. Never Will Brow wherovor iorslinm does, from the Atlantic to tho Pacific Maoi mor nnd better hay than nny other plant known, t'nder ordinary conditions produces 300 to COO pounds of Rraln and 3 to 0 ton of cholco liny per acre tlio Siltne season. Ailnpted to nil nrl of anil nnd renin! ilruulti nml olnniln Hie rnln cll. Takes 2 to 0 pounds of seed to sow nn nrro In drlllH nnd 10 to 30 pounds broadcast. Quality of hay equals timothy and nil kinds of livestock prefer It to alfalfa. Cattle flRht for tho hay and poultry fntten on tho urnln. hast Spring the seed sold for 2 to $1 per pound and nil who Krow It then oxpect to plant moro next year. It Is now sclllnir nt IX per pound nnd will ro higher beforo SprlnR, as tho supply Is limited. We will send prepaid by parcel post puro Sudan seed for II per pound In lots of HO pounds nnd under not less than ono pound considered. Larger lots by frelKht choaper. Hotter order now and bo sure of getting tho seed and itavo money nnd then make more money nnothor year. Kvoryono who can should grow Sudun gnms. In ktriirllun hotv to plant tilth order. Circular free. Address, IM.I.AHK.M: FAHM, llox 1.1, Aldlnr, llnrrU County, Tcin . More Sudan Grass Means More Money Gained. Grown East Makes Money When Other Crops Fail Grown West Laughs at Drought Smiles at Rain DXaSMkKJfl I'hona Main J7J5 LIFE HEALTH ACCIDENT n One Policy 3-1 OmsiNATION ONTRACT & WWK IN'SIMIANCK CO. HOME OFFICE -SEATTLE, U. S. A. Clip this Coupon nnd mail to the Home Office for full Information No obligation Incurred. Nanio: Occupation: Age nearest birthday Ami. IniurancaHuKitstrd Something Good Coming In this issue is concluded GEORGE BARR M'CUTCII EON'S novel, "A FOOL AND HIS MONEY." Tho next serial to be presented in this magazine will be fully ns absorbing and by one of tho most noted writers of tho present day. Watch for tho announcement on Pago 15 next week. The first installment of the new serial will be given our readers two weeks from today. A thrilling mystery story is promised, in which will appear a famous French detective, second in the novel world not oven to tho great Sherlock Holmes. Watch for the announcement. GOING EAST or COMING WEST Wo Can Savo You Monoy Retlticeil rales on Household Goods, Pianos, Automobiles, etc. Through consolidated ears, insuring prompt de livery nnd careful handling. Hates and Information on Request. Pacific Coast Forwarding Company 201 Wilcox Building, Portland, Or. VAN--0-LAX CAMJY OATIIAUTIO Itolloves constipation by remedying 11 ca.u.f c , lor ?. Bcs. Money back ft not entirely satUfacioiy. Hond 10c i or -'So coin or stamps for box, larso or VAN-O.I.AX CO., 42i Honry llldtr.. Portland. Or. ft Moore's II (lardrn (iuldx for 1015 U Juit oft the pre. lt' a booU every one tioula liae. Morse's Seeds lotli flowor and vege. inlile are on tale every- 'M maiixi) rnrx nnd dependablo becauis j i : tea ijciore I'liLKru. (w iv ts' w .11 mm I1 ;I !; ma
