J .njorHxA' . EVERYBODY IS DOIN' IT. WHAT? BUYING TICKETS tfOR ELKS' SHOW, DECEMBER 5 AND 6. 'Pago Sox. mi -I PROFESSIONAL KYARDS --- , Sheepherders, Lawyers, Loggers, Hack Drivers, Bunco Stcerers, Porch Climbers, Animals and a few Gentlemen. BR. W. A. TOYE, THE TOY DENTIST. Dolls a Specialty. Office 3 Doors from the Corner, two flights up. ' .. i - - i - -.. - "" ' '- - ' ' ' - ' ' ' i BR.B.C.VAUGIIAN, SAME BUSINESS as the feller above. Office Hours 10 minutes past Half Past Six A . M. 1 1 BR. R. W. MORROW, TEETH EXTRACTED WITHOUT PAYIN' Make your appointments early. If you can't come today, come To Morrow. WHY NOT JOIN BR.H.E. BURMEISTER, DENTAL CORRESPONCE SCHOOL. Learn to pull teeth by mail. Office : Next door to the Hospital, North Bend. Frco Ambulance. -ii hi G. G. TAGGART, M. B., which stands for mud doctor Special rates this week for amputating two or more legs in one family. Sweets 2009, 2107, on the 21st Floor of the Coko and Charcoal Building. BR. A. L. HOUStiWORTH, M. B., Physician, Surgeon and Billiard Shark. My latest and most successful operation was perform ed recently on R. P. Smith when I cut out his booze. Office Phono 143-J. Residence Phono, 143-L. Call Often. Always Welcome. BR. G. W. LESLIE, Osteopath all paths lead to my Office. Don't go to Taggart to have your leg out off, como to mo and have it Pulled. Seventh Floor of the Eldorado Building. Take the Elevator and Walk Up. W. U. DOUGLAS, LAWYER AND TALK SPECIALIST. Tele-Phony Deals a Specialty. No case too small it' the Feo is Large. Offico in Coos County Bar Association, next to Bar. ;,WHN D. GOSS, with the aid of Miss Miller and Mr. Kendall, endeavors to PRACTICE LAW in the Bar Association Building. I mil tho man ulio dlscorero.l (ho new Jdeji In Jiirlspriidcenco u hereby a lawyer can servo both plaintiff and defendant jn tho same. case, and collect fees from both. Am now successfully prac ticing this profitable. Hue. o j Mcknight, LAWYER, LTAR AND AFTER-DINNER HOT AIR ARTIST. Vest Pocket Railway Law a Specialty. Attornoy by Special Appointment for the Marshfiold Cat Ranch Company. Office: In the basement of tho Tabernacle Building. HARRY G. HOY, ATTORNEY AND PUGILIST Handles Cases with and Without Gloves. Wo are not a member of any ring but are always ready to enter it. Permanent Office Address: Caro Police Gazette. m 1IAVK A LOOK IIAVI-3 TWO LOOKS ltKAI) TI1U MIOSPKCTUS. COOS HAY PUSSY CAT HAXCH CAPITAL STOCK JjST.f.OOO.OOO PItOMIXKXT IIUSIXH8S MUX OK- riCKHS IX LAUGH XNW COItl'OHATIOX. Have Another Look nt Our Oflleor. President, George Rotnor. Vlco President, Al Powers. Interpreter, Dorsoy Kroltzor. ' Buyer of Cats, C. P. McKnlght. Secretary and Janitor, L. J. Simp son, REAL ESTATE WHEN INVEST IN CUT STOCK basis. It Is a well known scientific fact that ono cat that Is an adopt at tho business will manufacture, nnd turn out In a finished states 12 kit tens a year. This will place In our hands 12,000,000 skins a year to soil at prices raiiRliiB from 10 cents for puro white, to 7C conts ench for black; an average wo will say, of 30 cents each. Twolvo million skins nt .'10 cents each will yield an lncomo to tho company of $3,000,000 a year, or $300,000 a month or Just $10,000 a day from skins alone. Cat-ch on? It Is estimated by exports In Bkln games that ono man can skin GO cats In a working day of 10 hours. Adept skinners can bo hired for $50 each and board at an oxpenso of, say, $ 1 a day each, for avorago feed ers. It will rciiulro a working forco of 100 men to oporato tho cattory Musical Director and Cat Doctor, which makes tho oxpenso for labor W. A. Toyc. $200 a day, leaving a net profit of Chief Cat Herder, L. A. LIlJoqvlBtJ $0,800 a day or $291,000 a month to bo divided among tho shareholders Opon all night. No sleep till morn Doesn't that dazzle you? whoro cats In concert moot. Frcol in order to feed theso cats wo concerts ovory evening at which tho very best cat talont on earth will ap pear In solos, duots and wild, wlord multitudinous chorus. Gentlemanly and affectionate Thomas Cats furn ished old maids who fcol tho need of loving companionship and can do no hotter. Cash paid for cats and cat esses of ovory grade. What fur? Fur fur, of course. Musical cats from which flddlo strings aro procured proforrcd. Tho usual got-rlch-(uIck methods of tho ago compared to ours aro as tho paco of tho snail that Isn't In a hurry to tho arrow-llko flight of tho excited Jnck-rabblt. If wo cannot provo this to your ontlro satisfaction wo ngrco to allow you to proposo our names for honorary membership In Thcodoro Roosevelt's Ananias club, and to regularly attend tho mootlnga of that groat aggregation of distin guished liars. Has It over occurred to you as a shrewd business man thnt thoro Is money In cats. Just plain, ordinary, evorydny cnts, wlth-no prldo of an cestry or hopo of futuro distinction? Thoro is, doad oodles of It, and If you wish to bocoiuo a bloated accum ulator of untold riches, study well our schomo, and then go to It. Wo proposo to ostnbllsh on Nob IIIU a mammoth cat ranch with a capital stock of $75,000,000 divided into 75,000,000 shnrcs of a par valuo of Ono Ruck each. Wo will begin to do n business thnt will mako tho fur fly with a working stock of- ,- 000,000 cats. Tho original promoter of tho schomo was tho author of tho Shorter Cat-cchlsm now In uso In many churches, nnd as n result of ov erwork upoil that popular production ho haB over since been nffllctod with cnts on tho brain. This has bcou n bonoflt to him, for becauso of cnts In thnt region ho has novor bcon nffllctod with rats In his attic. Now, Mr. Woalthseokor, Just study theso figures and If thoy do not show you how a porfect cnt-arnct of wealth will flow down upon you until It will almost throw you Into a cat-a-loptlo fit, your foresight must bo a darned sight dimmer thnn your hind sight. Tnko 1,000,000 cats as a working proposo to oporato a rattory adjoin ing tho catory. Competent authori ties who have mndo an oxhaustlvo study of rntology agreo that rats multiply four times as fast as cats, honco with an Industrious stock of 1,000,000 rats thoro would bo a pro duct of four ratB a day for each cat not possessed of an abnormal appo tltc. This will supply cat food with out cost ns no herders would bo ro rcqulrcd to kcop tho rats on tho reservation, It being a well known fact that when n rat establishes It self In any placo It hangs out tho "Hero to Stay" Blgn. In order to feed tho rats tho carcasses of tho skun cnts will bo thrown to them, nnd ns wo will linvo one-fourth ns many cnta to kill as wo havo rats to feed, wo will havo one-fourth of n cat's corpso each day for each rat. Thus It Is scon thnt tho rats will food tho cats and tho cats will feed on tho rats and both will contribute to tho fcodlng and fattening of tho bank balances of stockholders with no ox penso to tho company. Wo nro In correspondence with sovornl largo manufacturers of flddlo strings with whom wo will no doubt closo contracts for tho Intestines of tho cats at profltablo figures, thus adding greatly to tho revenues of tho compnny, and tho bones of tho cats and rnts aro now being negotiated for by a rollablo firm of breakfast fond makers in Michigan. If you wish to got In on tho ground floor of this fortuno building propo sition you will hnvo to hurry and at onco got busy with your checkbook boforo tho rush begins and tho local banks find It Imposslblo to han dlo tho paper. As an Inducement of n glittering naturo which will appoal to ovory nmusomont lovor n ticket to tho "lllg Nolso," tho minstrel nnd vnudovlllo ontortnlnmcnt to bo given by tho .Marshfiold D. P. O. K will bo pro sentod frco of chargo to tho pur chasers of ench $1 sharo of tho capi tal stock of tho cat ranch. Address nil communications and mnko all checks payablo to GEORGE ROTNOR, President Marshfiold Pussy Cat Ranch, Room 23, MUllcoma club. MARSHFIELD CASH MARKET HENRY FOURIER, Boss, Meat Chopper, Buyer and Bizzy Manager. Cut prices in nice cuts of Walrus Mont, Elk Steak, Elephant Steaks and Grub Stakes. P. S. Dog gone it, we forgot to speak about our sausage. o BR. E. E. STRAW, (Originator of the Straw Vote.) POLITICAL PHYSICIAN AND STATESMAN SURGEON. WATER CURE SPECIALIST. If you can't see that I am tho greatest Mayor that ever happened in Marshfiold, there is something wrong with your oyes. Come to me I am an J special ist, in fact the great "I" AM. (N. B. I didn't have the cash to pay for this adv and it was refused until R. P. Smith went my secur ity. I desiro to make this public acknowledgement of his kindness.) THE SPEEDWEM The Floating Passenger Palace of the Pacific The new steamer that makes ocean tin. vui uuiwcim onn urancisco and Coos Bay a dream instead of a nightmare Tho great anti-race suicide boat fifty berths on every trip. y You will be so pleased with the service and appointments that you will forget to be sec sick sec ? Make your next trip on the SPEED WELL and you will fare well as well as speed well and well you will be so well pleased you will say ' "WELL, WELL, THE SPEEDWELL FOR NORTH BEND HARDWARE and SUPPLY CO. CEMENT, BRICK, LIME, PLASTER, SEWER PIPE, TILE, ETC. HARDWARE, TINWARE, CROCKERY. Plumbing and Tinning. NORTH BEND OREGON TELEPHONE The most oflicient protection in case of fire, sick ness and accident; it confers the greatest pleasure socially and expedites your business; to have one in your home and placo of business is belter tlinn a bank account. r Mars'hfield's only rival of Caruso Guy Chambers wubllng "I w SIMPSON LUMBER COMPANY THE ONLY LUMBER YARD IN NORTH REKm OUR FIR LUMBER MAKES GOOD WINTER OVER COATS. JRYOOTOFOTO TWO BY POURS. JUST THE THING TO SUBDUE YOUB MARSnFIELD BRANCH: Somewhere inttic CHANDLER HOTEL, where" you can got GOOD BOARD . a. -,! aiu- mu ouupson -unmoor company Sing? Were you Board PLANKS FOR POLITICAL PLATFORMS A SPECIALTY. 'mi