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THE COOS BAY TIMES, MARSHFIELD, OREGON, WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER21J910 EVENING EDITION.
m
Noel A Ballade
t
For Christmas
Law and Matrimony
Dv M. QUAD
Copyright, 1910. by Associated Lit
eral y Press.
The IipIIs ctilme happily ncros.t tlio
nlKlit
riie iiIkIii tlittt ciowiih the almost dy-
Itijj yunr
'And soon tin.- morning, wltn Its dawn-
IllK light.
I'roclnlnm ttint Christmas day ut Inst
Is hero.
Tho children IiIrIi nloft tho boar's head
brliiR, .
And nn thoy march their morry carols
Ring,
While Christendom Joins In their tune
ful Iny,
For nt this season nil nro glnil nnd
gny.
And men nnd women, with their
licitrtH aglow,
Bhotit out with one nccord on Christ-
man day.
"Hall to the Yulo log nud the mlstlo-
tool"
Emblems of mnn nn old time honored
rite.
Of boisterous mirth nnd homely, hon
est cheer;
The Yule log, llnmlng high nnd btnztng
bright;
The mlHtlctoc, to youths and maidens
dear.
Geo for snapdragon how they form n
ring
Or In a contrndancc their partners
swing?
Lord of misrule makes good his bo
briquet.
And nit his mandates eagerly obey.
Ho wields tho scepter nnd with loud
hallo
Cries lustily, with nono to say him
nny.
Tlnll to tho Yulo log and tho mlstlo- uhut tlmo he wasn't thinking of that
'oo' I lawsuit he was mad. Monday artor-
I noon ho received u second visit from
All climes nnd classes own tho season's the constable, nnd thoro was n second
might. i summons. This time it clnlmcd dam-
It rules allko tho peasant nnd tho 0gcs for o blnck hog carrying tho wld-
peer; j ow's gate off Its hinges.
Tho humblest home presents n happy "By smoke, but what's tho womnn
night: I at!" ho shouted an be read. "1 don't
Tho .Mernest Judgo forgets to look so- own no black hog nnd neverdld."
voro. i "Better go and seo her," was the
Tho very birds fly by on lighter wing: udvlce that wns followed tho next day.
Tho blUKterlng north wind seems ro Tho widow wan smiling nnd grn-
lose Hi. sting: clous. She listened to the denial with-
The old nnd young, tho golden haired out much Intercut nnd answered:
and gray. j "Mr. Johnson, you were nt church
Devote tho hours to merriment and Wi bast Sunday, but you never no
play. , ticcd "io."
Anu far across the crispy, crnckllmj "1-1 kukw I must hnve been power-
Bnow , fully taken up with tho sermon."
Wo hear n chorus from n (lying sleigh. ' "As to BUlt' Mr- John"0". It
"Hall to tho Yulo log and tho mlstlo- mx B",0"
Tho best off In thin world's goods nnd
the best looking widow In the village
of Brunswick wiim Mm. Henry Hub
erts. She was not only proud of her
self, but the town was proud of her.
She needn't hnve been a widow more
than a year after the death of her
husband, but four years had pniwd
and no one had won her love. It was
then that Farmer .lolinson, widower,
bought n fit rtu near the village and
nettled upon It.
Farmer Johnson was n middle aged
nnd very busy man. He made few ac
quaintance In the village. Three
montlw piinxrd. nnd he had never
heard of Widow Huberts. Then n con
stable served a summons on him ns
defendant In a lawsuit for damages.
The widow was the plaintiff.
"She rlaliiis that a one horned cow
belonging to me damiged her garden
$10 worth. Never owned n one hom
ed cow In my life."
I That nfternoou lie went down to seo
! tho widow nbotit It. He was very grn-
clously received nnd his statement lis
I toned to nnd not contradicted. Instead
of the last, the widow said:
"Mr. Johnson. I've seen you In
church for the liiRt live Sundays your
pew Is directly ahead of mine and
you have never looked around once!"
"Mobbe not. I'm no hand to look
around In church."
"Ahem! Mr. Johnson, this suit must
go on!"
Mr. Johnson was nt church noxt
Sunday, but he didn't look nround
tool"
"UAH TO THE TUI.K LOO AMD TUX MISTLE
TOE I"
Mr. Johnson was not at church next
Sunday. lie went out and sat down
with his back to n ntrnvntnck to do
some thinking. II o had a terror of tho
law, and he wondered what was com
ing next. He had but n few hours to
wait. Monday afternoon the constable
wad there with the third summons.
"Now, what In Aunt Jemlny is It
this time?" he Hhnuted us the paper
wad put Into his hands.
"The widow Is suing you for running
your wagon nglu her fence. 1 bellove,"
was the reply.
"But I haven't driven no wagon past
her house In a month!"
"Better see her about It."
"I'll bo hanged If I don't, and I'll
talk right up to her too!"
But lie didn't. Next day when he
called he was received with a smile,
and tho widow proceeded to say:
"Mr. Johnson, you wero not In
church last Sunday."
"No."
"And-consequently you did not seo
mo. This suit mus( go on!" t, -
"But. wdder, tbcfo nln't no'aense'la
It I can prove tuatl never ran Into
ty.
To song and story a rich debt we
owo.
And wttb triumphant cheer this tribute
pay.
"Hall to tbe Yulo log and tho mlstlo-toot"
Tbe chosen tnome of many a fancy's
Clcht. '
A ballad monger or a sonnoteer
Yearly bis Christmas poem will Indite
vi n kvj luaiui-u iiuu uor cuvauur. ' rnnr tonre,"
Bbakespeore full often bad his merry 'yes)" ' T '
fllm l'lt I had I'd have paldi damages
And Milton tuned his harp' to noble rjKnt BWay And I don't own' no onor
' string; , I horned cow nor a black hog."'
Irving the scones of Christmas could n0? But the suite must go od. Will
betray, you bo nt church noxt Sunday?"
And Dickens Its truo spirit could con- "if I nln't toq troubled In my mind.
Tbrco different lawsuits on me,' arid I
ain't tho man after ull!" ,
For'n time, when the next. Sabbath
camo around, It was doubtful If Mr.
Johnson would attend tbtirch; no
'made up bU mind nt tho last moment,
however, and put In an nppeararice.
The widow wus forgotten for tho first
Aud as the sacred season circles ueur HOUr uuu Ull-'u auuueniy turneu
All evil thoughts and themes nro qunro "ro"n l "nu l00a "" ,ne.r
banished unite' 1 l,KX ""l, " oimiu. u uiuu i
Our lives become more gentle aud sin. ' J,1now whether It meant a fourth sum-
! benedletlon was prououueed bo beard
i himself saying;
cere;
Our hearts cau tlittt no room for dolo
or spite.
Paeans ot praise trom thankful hearts
iipsprtng j
To celebrate the birthday of the King.
All humbly for our brother's weal wo
pray j
And ask n blessing on our future way;
Our generous git is on others we be-
stow;
"l'eaco upou earth, good will to men!" !
wo say. '
"Hall to tho Yule lug and the mistle
toe!" ENVOY.
Spirit of Christmas, we accept thee
yea. i
Klght willingly wo bow beneath thy !
sway!
"Wldder Huberts, if you don't mind
I'm going to wall: home with you."
"Only too happy, Mr. Roberts."
And as soon us they had loft the
church edifice he begun;
"Wldder, I never owned n one horn
ed cow "
"1 know you neverdld," was admitted.
"Nor a black hog "
"No. nor a black hog."
"And I never busted your garden
fenco."
"Surely not."
"Then why all these lawsuits?"
"Would you have noticed me with
out?" "By cracky, I might not!"
"The suits will nt once be withdrawn,
and now that we have become friends
We join our songs to those of long , 8UU bo ,mppy t0 uavo you clU, at
ago
With this refrain, for over and for aye,
"Hall to tbe Yulo log and the mistle
toe!" Carolyn Wells in New York Mall.
A Christmas Suggestion.
A book eorer makes a good Christ
mas pretest tor the girl who Is apt
to be aecowpmatefl by ber book. Tbe
cover eeiw H Mtvnd liaask
any time."
"By gum! By gum! But what a
blind old bat a man can be!" exclalnjed
tbe farmer as he slapped his leg.
And he called and called, aud the
more he called the better they liked
each. other, and within less than a year
be was slapping bis leg again aud say
ing: "Dog my cats, I might bare kept ea
feeing a fool and lost ber!"
COSTLY KISSES
KSEMKnaKa
AT GHRISTHJIS
a
r n Christmas dinner given every
year to the old folks of llanley.
the capital of the potterle-tdts
trlct In Utiglniid. u quaint ceie
tnony Is regularly observed.
At the conclusion or the tneal one of
the oldest of the women guests ad
vances to the platform and kisses the
mayor on both cheeks. Ills worship
gallantly returns the salute, and the
exchange of kisses continues until all
the more. venerable dames present have
been thus honored.
in large business establishments,
where the assistants live In. a great
denl of kissing goes on nt Christmas
time. Some of the more tlarlng spirits
uniotig the mnle "hands" hnve been
known to make bets with one another
as to the number of different girls
they would kiss between Chrlstmns
eve and New Year's evo.
In a certain London drapery hoiie
two or three seasons ago one ot these
"horrid males" made n recoid by salut
ing seventeen different damsels. But
ho found the gain was not worth the
caudle, for, In addition to a scratched
face nnd n pretty severe pommeling
nt the bauds of n victim's sweetheart,
tho rash youth found tils services dis
pensed with.
At another great emporium one
Christmas tndlscrlmlnato kissing ere
nted so much trouble that more than n
dozen young men wero dismissed.
Ever slnco In this particular establish
ment even the Introduction of n sprig
of mistletoe during the festive Reason
has been enough to lusuro Instant dis
missal. A girl who appeared wltb a sprig of
it In her blouse wus ordered to put on
her things nnd leave at onco. A piny
ful young mnn who merely pretended
to kiss n young lady assistant was
hurried off the premises with his hut
and overcoat In bis hand.
The Lancashire factory maid has a
llttlo kissing custom all her own that
Is sacred to Chrlstmns. At thin special
pprlod she will kiss nn overlooker or
any other mnle "hand" In the expecta
tion that she will be rewarded with a
shilling for her temerity.
Woe betide the ungnllant worker
who falls to part with tbe colu. He
will find Ills coat sleeves sewed up or
nailed to the wall. If the girl herself
docs not do this ber follow workers
will.
Some of the more 'venturesome have
been known to "get their employer
BBTS Witt. KI33 ANT lUtiB "HAHDV
round -the neck" and kiss him, but-.the
risks are great. If he takes the liberty
kindly he will part with a sovereign!
if otherwise ho will part "wltb the
kisser. In qne Instaneo the master was
so furious nt being kissed that' he
closed his works until New Year's day,
thus mulcting tbe bands In a week's
wages.
A ludicrous story is told of a young
Japanese engineering apprentice In
connection with the Christmas custom
of kissing. He was serving his time
In the north of England and was as
tonlshed when n waitress nt the dining
rooms which he regularly frequented
kissed him undo the mistletoe.
On its being explained to him that n
presont was expected In return, he
suggested a pair of gloves. The dam
sel, however, had heard that he was
Immensely wealthy and gently hinted
that something for her neck would be
more acceptable When the present
nrrlved next day she conjured up
visions of n pearl necklace as she
tremblingly undid the parcel. Then
was disclosed to her disappointed gaze
a Jap's Idea of "something for her
neck " It took the shape of a bar of
soap.
It is Interesting to recall a strange
Christmas kissing custom that In times
gone by was regularly observed at a
certain Loudon hostelry. This was a
houso known as the Tied Bull In Clerk
enwell. the landlord of which was
Under an obligation to bestow on every
woman who came In before noon and
kissed him a given measure of ale.
If records can be relied on "mine
boat" bad no lack of lady customers
on tbe festive morn. Tit-Bits.
Should Old Acquaintance Be Forgot,-.
s
P.ETUR.N OF THE FAVORITES, :HE
A VILLA COMEDY. CO,
?
THE LAUGH PRODUCERS
At the Masonic Theater 3 Nights Commencing
Thursday, December 22nd
Tn
The Opening; BUI Will be the Sldc-Splittlng Comedy in Three Acts, Ik
ji -.j? iayc3 .
ffli'
w
n m
V
mg
e
Everything New This Season
No Tears in this Show, Save those Produced by Merriment
Seats on Sale at the Busy Comer
tmmmtm:m::::::mmmmmmm:m!mmmmmtjji
I Holiday Cash CleanHJpl
One-Fourth Off on All
Broken Lines of Clothins
0tCW 1HH II Ut . I
J J Hllxalt iHlJl l II F
HIJ VHf
U i Sfc
$8.50 SUITS $0.35
$10.00 SUITS $7.50
$.12.00 SUITS $9.00
$16.00 SUITS $12.00
18.00 SUITS $13.50
$20.00 SUITS $15.00
$25.00 SUITS $18.75
Opposite
Breakwater
FIXUP
North Ff
Str
mmmmmumttttmmmmimmmmmfflttfflffl
For Strictly
Fresh Butter
Sterilized Cream
Sterilized Milk
gButter Milk '
Bean-Pot Cheese
and" ''
M ' ;'iceV
Coos Bay Ice
& Cold Storage
FltEE DELIVERIES
H A. M. nnd 2 1 M.
IMioiio 7:t..T.
)..
DU. J. V. IXtiltAM,
Piiytdciau und Surgeon.
Olllce 'JilX-UOl) Coos Ilulld&tt.
Phonos Ollke 1G1!1; ltosldenco 1622
j
W. MJNNETT,
Lnwycr.
Olflce over Flanagan & Dennett Bank
Marshflold, Oregon.
WM. S. TURPE.V,
Architect.
Over Chamber of Commerce.
Have That Roof Fixed
NOW
See CORTHELL
Phoso 3121,
inmnmimt:m:mmnmtmtt.'tnmimt
It Takes More than Good
A) )' " :
To malto flrat'cJass bread, b!c
pastry aiijiuy. T T,V(ZJ
tho bestAoflfcourao, but ll'!M? 1
.'! :.'.v t.l Thafsffkrf
jorm in mow " -" i4jj
... .. - nl.ir. You wlUW
. 1. MnnHrtllr tht i?l
Hour in ono bnun. i"-- -. r.y
-i. t l rpstnd at IK 'n
every boci
. ... .. .- m.Vo mire. ETfff ri
.hpnt that eoes througa i -m
j.. .,- it isn't toache'fS
man hands from that tine Ull K
..i.. i nnest seleclw W!
.. t.i.. cnm wheat Bw
orn grown, " j
Bnow Drift Flour. Try jt
learn bow good your w ,
pastry can bo.
H. W. PAINTER
i .
Marshfisld
Oregc
BBtm:tJ::w:tmmmtan:n;mnnnKWWWW,,w!W
oeaver
Hill Coal
MOUNT DIABLO AND JOSSON C&BSX' .
Tho beat Domeetlo and imponeo
Plaster, Lime, Brick and all kinds of bullae"
HUGH McLAlN
t . GENERAL CONTRACTOR
Vl'XIVK, HUUTU UItUAMW
Times Want Ads Bring; R
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ta. ii