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""'Rfe'DAiLY'cd'drBAY TIMES,' MARSHFIELD, OREGON, SAtiWDAr: jWiCT3, 1908.
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OPS BAY TIMES
An Independent Republican news-
jpaper published every evening except
Sunday, and Weekly by
IXlio Coos liny Times Publishing Co.
'
Entered at the postoflbe at Marsh-
i field, Oregon, for transmission
through the malls as second class
mall matter.
M. C. JIALONEY. . .Editor nnd Pub.
DAN E. MALONEY News Editor
SUBSCRIPTION RATES.
In Advance.
DAILY.
One Year 5.00
Six months $2.50
Less than G months per month .50
WEEKLY.
SOne Year ?1.59
With the Toast and Tea
The policy of the Coos Bay Times
prill be Republican In politics, with
Uho Independence of which President
fRcosevelt is the leading exponent.
Address All Communications to
COOS BAY DAILY TIMES
plarshfleld Oregon
PLENTY OF ROOM.
Once in a great while we run across
an individual who is laboring under
tho mistaken idea that we are liable
to overdo the boosting business here
in .Oregon. Let us take Lane county
for example and see how true this
s. Lane has an area of approximate
ly 7,500 square miles. According to
registration of voters, the county has
about 30,000 population. On this
basis wo have an average population
Qf four people to the square mile of
territory and this Includes fully 15,-
000 population bunched in Eugene
and tho towns of the county, which
practically leaves us 15,000 people
occupying 7,500 squares, or an aver
age of two people to every G40 acres
of land In tho county.
When we stop to contemplate such
astounding figures as these, we are
surprised that any one should have
the nerve to declare that at our pres
ent rate of progress wo are liable to
overload Lane county with population.
A stranger from Pennsylvania in
lugene the other day remarked that
ley had a county 20 by 40 miles In
jzo in his state that has no great
city in it, yet It has a larger popula
tion than the whole state of Oregon.
;;Yes, there Is room in Oregon for
millions of people room in Lane
alone for a quarter of a million, or
nearly ten times what we have now.
There is no room, however, for
pessimism among tho four people to
tho square mile in Lane over the pos-
BiDiiuy oi inciting room in wnicn to
turn around, not during the life of
ihe present generation, at any rate.
fofcrfie only thing that should occasion
any surprise among Lane county
.people is that in a land of such vast
ffand varied resources there should
ejbut 30,000 people Instead of 150,
00. We shall make no mistake in
our campaign of advertising if we
doublo and treble our present popu
lation, for with it will come new en
terprises that will cause tho hum
pt Industry to be heard in hundreds
of, directions where silence now
e'lB:nsand there will be correspond
ing, Increaso In tho number of tillers
offthe soil and the building of great-
oScIties within our own little com
monwealth. Eugene Register.
X GOOD EVENING. X
i Time past, Is gone, thou canst X.
i not It recall; li
i Time is, thou hast, improve i
i that portion small: X
X Time future is not and may X
ii never be, X
X Time present is the only time X
X for thee.
HORACE MANN. X
4
Just You.
If I could have my dearest wish ful
filled, And take my choice of all earth's
treasures, too.
And ask- from Heaven whatso'er I
willed,
I'd ask for you.
No man I'd envy, neither low nor
high,
Nor King in castle old or palace
new;
I'd hold Golconda's mines less rich
than I,
If I had you.
Toil and privation, poverty and care,
Undaunted I'd defy, nor future
woo;
Having my wife, no jewels else I'd
wear,
If she were you. .
Little I'd care how lovely she might
be,
How graced with every charm,
how fond, how true;
E'en though perfection, she'd be
naught to me
Were she not you.
There is more charm for my true
loving heart
In everything you think, or say,
or do,
Than all the joys of heaven could
e'er impart,
Because it's you.
ter by tho company he
Jail.
keeps In
MEN OP THE HOUR
It never pays to hurry onward
when you are on the wrong road.
When your worries harass you put
them in a trunk and sit on the lid.
Yes, dear, to be consistent a
Colognial dame should use Cologne.
When a girl refers to herself as an
old maid, there is still hope for her.
There are a good many harps in
heaven that will not be called for
The reason why women dou't try to
understand things is because ther
don't want to lose their Interest nor
their quality of being interesting.
jrji aesA raer
ruts art &vsess '
tiffin Pf(t,rK? J
I
i'Between the 'old maid' of tho flf-
Ues'Vand the bachelor woman of today
yawns n vast gulf. The inero change
of thc appellation Indicates something
of tho bettered position of spinsters
nowadays," remarks Gentlewoman.
From 'which it may bo inferred that
Shakespeare's query regarding names
or .... ....
was a trifle mvoious anu mat nowa
days It makes a great deal of dlffer-
encOj,whethcr a spluster Is called an
oiutmaia" or a "uacueior gin."
71
Paul Morton's declaration that "the
president has a temper" will go a
great way toward verifying tho suspi
cions of n number of wealthy male
factors, undesirable cltlzeus nnd Jug
glers of the short and ugly.
n.
teCho authorship of "Dlxio" has been
attributed to thirty-seven authors, but
fit's hats off and hooray for all of them
fwhen tho band strikes upl
$Tho Abruzzl Incident calls attention
Bo tho oft demonstrated fact that no
government is wlso enough to rcgu-
.; ' r i . r f ..,,
JUIO XHWI'W'S IOVO UUIIIWi
1
VA Tfnlnna innn Is ilniirrnrniifl. Rft la Jl
-f ytt LUiuuiuuu, tuvj wiiftu itu i
V
tro vauts a squaro deal, but
hist
t
t
Vo needs la a round scoring,
-7 ' T-1 T
f
k
year Is of no uso to tho klad
,.men llko to marry
Some amusing answers were found
in the examination papers of the
pupils of, the Marshfield schools and
they lent a bit of cheer to the teach
ers who had to work overtime in
marking them. The humor is prob
ably more striking and probably as
ably more striking and probably has
considered that all of the pupils were
Intensely In earnest, being spurred
on by the necessity of making a
showing to be promoted and to have
a good card to show to their parents.
Some of the questions and answers
were as follows:
Geography (Second Grade);
What direction is Coos River from
the school house?
Answer Straight up.
Phjslology (Eighth Grade);
Where is the alimentary canal?
Answer In the southwestern part
of Michigan.
What Is tho seat of Intelligence?
Answer The vermiform appen
dix. History;
What was the Lincoln-Douglas
debate?
Answer Lincoln-Douglass was a
negro who said he was free; his
owner said he was not. They had so
much trouble over It that this was
called the Lincoln-Douglas debate.
Physiology (Fourth Grade);
How many layers of skin are
there?
Answer Two, an under and a
topper.
Some men are
born wise and
others are born
handsome.
When luxuries
become necessl
tics, necessities
often become n
teniblo problem
No man plays
the fool ofteuei
than a fool plas?
many a man.
Some liars are artists, but not all
artists are liars.
Some men seem to want a home so
that they will have some place to stay
away from.
Getting their fortune told is simply a
vicarious way some people have of
gambling.
The reason most of us arc poor Is
because a select few have such an
easy way of getting money.
Nothing succeeds llko tho appear
ance of success.
Some Coos county men who think
they are great politicians are only
good jokes.
Worry kills more people than
work but it is a blamed sight easier
way to die.
Whenever an office in Coos county
seeks the man, it doesn't have to
hunt long.
"Is your littlo girl old enough to
be a companion to you?"
"O, yes. She already plays a fair
game of bridge."
Gerald I want you to tell mo just
what you think of me.
Geraldlne Have you a telephone
In your house?
Sovoral ladles sat in their club a
fow evenings ago discussing the vir
tues of their husbands.
"Mr. Smith," said ono of them, re
forlng to her husband, "never drinks
nnd never swears Indeed, ho has no
bad habits."
"Does ho never smoke?" somcono
nsked.
"Yes, ho likes his cigar just after
ho has eaten a good meal. But,"
sho continued, "I supposo on an
ncrngo ho doos not binoko moro
than onco a month."
"Woll," said Finuegan, "there's
only wan tinio whin life ain't worth
llin"
"An' whin Is that?" asked Flan
noi y.
"Whin yo think it ain't."
A mnn with a torpid liver couldn't
see beauty with a mlcroscopo.
Some Coos Bay men grumble six
teen hours a day without seeming
to be relieved.
Mean of Him,
'
ANTHONY HOPE.
Anthony Hope, whoso novels are so popular with nil readers of fiction,
had little success as a wilter until he produced the "Prisoner of Zenda," where
upon he came into Immediate and lasting popularity. Mr. Hope is an ideal
writer of serial stoiles, for he is a master of the art of suspense. This never
has been more substantially erliled than in his splendid story "Sophy of
ICi.ivoula." In this work he has returned to the field of romance, which made
him famous. Thete is such suspense between the chapteis of reckless adven
ture, court intrigue, conspiracy and hairbreadth escapes as to give the story
that Inexplicable chaim which is the true condiment of romnnce.
'PK&m
i r a
'SwhSx$1,Sk3MSk$!
"She Is very beautiful."
"Indeed!"
"Yes. There is Just ono fault with
her."
"What Is It?"
"She has been beautiful so long."
Probably.
"Working is doing what you don't
like to do."
"And doing what you llko Isn't
work?"
"S'poso so."
"I SCO."
"What?"
"That must be why working people
is sometimes called playing them."
Would Know Later.
"Is tho prisoner sane or Insano?"
"I don't know yet"
"But you havo examined him."
"Yes."
"And you are an expert?"
"I am one of the best. But, you see,
born sides are dickering with me for
a w ltness, and I haven't found out yet
which has tho moro money."
Just Its Way.
March has many moods, they say,
E'er It takes Its leave
Something different for each day
Always up its sleeve.
Wasn't Her Fortune.
"Why don't you marry a millionaire,
MrtinlV"
"Haven't tho nervo to try, Edith."
"Dlfl'ciunt with me."
"Why?"
"I haeu't tho face."
Officers Safe.
"To they have corporal punishment
In ttie army?"
"You hot they don't nnd you daseu'l
punch tho lieutenant either. I tell you,
U"'n olllceis has thlugs nbout theli
way,"
Has the Ladies Guessing.
"Do you know a good cauuudrum?"
"JY."
Wnat Is it?"
"Vb Is a bucUelorr JL l C5.
Killing by
Electricity IMore
Humane Than
Hanging.
By Dr. E. C. SPITZKA, Brain Specialist.
$,5; HE method employed in electrocution is already gon-
SHHT 'I erally well known. What is not so much a matter of
. i i i-J :- it.. i. j.i.-i nrrv xvo-vnr
JJUJJIXIIXL- JUIUWIUUU 13 IUU lUUb U1UL VXNXlJL XIIUJU.
SIXTY TO SEVENTY SECONDS elapse from
tho timo the prisoner enters tho room until ho is pro
nounced dead.
Moro than this, in every case with which I am familiar the pris
oner slept soundly on the night previous, entered tho execution room
calmly and often smiling, kept a decent silence or broke it only to
murmur a prajjer or say a pleasant farewell, walked mostly unaided,
seated himself in tho chair and watched with curiosity the strapping
of his body thereto.
Much has been said about life surviving the first contact, but IT
DOES NOT SURVIVE. Tho current is now turned on when the
signaling doctors soe that tho lungs hold the minimum amount of air,
for after death what air was in the lungs rushes out and gives tho
effect, to the layman, of a sigh, which, if any mucus is present,
changes to a deceptive gurgle. In only two instances did I notico
even any such sign of a respiratory effort. Death was ALWAYS
PAINLESS AND INSTANTANEOUS, and4 consciousness had
ceased in a flash. , ,
For tho purpose of comparison, by courtesy of Sheriff Brown, I
attended five hangings in Moyamensing prison, and tho results, in my
mind, are best expressed by that stanza in "Tho Ballad of Beading
Gaol:"
'TIs sweet to dance to violins
When life and lovo aro fair;
To dance to lutes, to dance to flutes,
Is beautiful and rare,
Rut It Is not sweet with nimble feet
J To dance upon tho air.
THE PREPARATIONS WERE AS SPEEDY AS IN THE ELEC
TROCUTIONS OF WHICH I HAVE SPOKEN, BUT AFTER THE DROP
FELL THEN FOLLOWED A PERIOD OF STRUGGLING AGONY WHICH
CAN BE BETTER IMAGINED THAN DESCRIBED. '
In nearly every instance tho heart continued to beat for thirteen
minutes, and in only one that of Mok Kung, who really died of a
sort of apoplexy was there no movement after tho drop. In all
other cases there wero CONSCIOUS EFFORTS TO BREATHE,
struggles of tho manacled hands to freo themselves and reach the
strangling neck, bitter contortions of tho feet, tied though they were,
in an endeavor to find support. Tho men literally "danced upon
tho air."
Theso struggles continued for a minute. Sometimes they kept up
for a minute and a half. Often tho sight was such that SPECTA
TORS FAINTED.
FINALLY I PERFORMED AUTOPSIES ON THE BODIES OF FIVE
MEN EXECUTED BY HANGING. THE BODIES WERE SENT TO THE
JEFFERSON HOSPITAL, AND I HAD EVERY OPPORTUNITY FOR
THOROUGH INVESTIGATION. IN NOT ONE CASE WAS THERE A
BROKEN NECK, AND IN ALL DEATH HAD BEEN DIRECTLY DUE
TO STRANGULATION.
TOWN
KNOCKERS
How Coryvillc Got Rid of a Bunch
of Unprogressivcs.
THE YOUNG MEN 0RGANZED.
Che me a man who has enemies.
It is proof posltivo that he is not a
dead one.
An hour spent with a good lively
dog Is worth two spout In morose
lonollncss.
All donkeys do not wear long ears.
Some of them wear silk underclothes.
A policeman should mako a fine
electrician. Copper is a good conductor.
And the Croaking Critics Couldn't
Stand tho Ordeal of Initiation Into
the Mysterious Order of the G. B.'s,
A Story of Masks and Spades.
There was something doing In Cory
vllle. Tho G. B.'s wero getting busy.
Who were tho G. B.'s? Oh, just fol
low this little story nnd dud out!
For many years Coryvlllo had had
on hand an oversupply of citizens
whoso chief activity had to do with
knocking Hie town. These fellows wero
but a small group, only four or fle,
but they did harm. Half a dozen mag
gots can spoil the best cheese ever
made. So these town knockers, theso
croaking critics, were slowly under
mining tho good reputation of Cory
vlllo by their Incessant chorus of defa
mation. Nothing suited them. They
opposed every movement for the good
of the town. They croaked nnd knock
ed nnd clamored and hammered when
ever anybody suggested a street Im
provement, a new building, the organ
ization of, a business men's club or
anything of the Bort.
Finally the G. B.'s were organized.
Of course they did not take tho knock
ers' bunch Into their confidence. Thero
was a reason and a good ono for not
letting the knockers know. Tho G.
B.'s wero organized iu secret. The
initial meeting was held In an old
abandoned schoolhousc half u mile out
of town. Grips and passwords and
other secret signs were ndopted. Even
a mystic apron was devised, but It
was not to be worn where aprons
usually aro worn. It was to bo tied
around tho head Junt below the eyes,
thus serving ns a mfsk.
Tho G. B.'s hadlpeen In existence
only a month or so, Holding their meet
ings every Friday night iu the old
schoolhouse, when ouo of tho knockers
discovered that such a society had
been formed. Ho straightway notified
his brother knockers. The group met
In a grocery store.
"Seems to bo something mighty mys
terious about It," remarked tho chief
knocker.
"Yes; can't imagine what they're up
to," said another. "Tho society seems
to havo tliirty or forty members, and
most of them are the younger element
around town, young business men."
"How did you find that out?" asked
knocker No. 3.
"Why, ono of tho members told me,"
replied the other.
All of which was quite true. It was
true also that this member had vio
lated no rule of the G. B.'s. lie had
been detailed to acquaint tho knevkers
with these primary facts concerning
the society. Immediately tho knocker
In chief had expressed a desire to at
tend a meeting. lie was cordially in
vited along with his brother knockers.
When the five town knockers filed
Into tho old schoolhouse at the regular
Friday night meeting they found a
most startling assemblage. About for
ty men, with long white apron-llko
masks concealing their faces and
reaching far below their shoulders,
were standing around the walls of tho
chamber, which contained no seats.
Every fifth man carried a blazing
torchlight. Many of the others carried
picks, spades and shovels.
The supreme sachem of tho G. B.'s
advanced to tho group of visitors and
asked them solemnly If they desired to
be Initiated into tho order. They re
plied that they did. How can a man
knock unless ho Is on the inside? Tho
chief knocker laughed scornfully as ho
assented to the Initiation.
"Tho ordeal is severe," said the su
premo sachem, "but If you survive It
you aro our brethren. Advance, G.
B.'s!"
Fifteen of the masked figures ad
vanced, carrying stout cords. They
quickly bound tho bands of the knock
ers behind them and tied tho wholo
group together with a rope. Then the
torch bearers came forward, tho knock
ers were led outside, the other G. B.'s
followed, and tho entire party stopped
on the open space back of tho school
house. Without a word tho men with picks
began to dig, the shovelers began to
shovel, while tho torch bearers held
their lights high above tho group. Aft
er tho digging was well under way tho
G. B.'s started up a dlrgellko song In
doleful voices. Altogether it was an
uncanny scene.
"Wha-what aro you fellows up to
anyhow?" gasped tho chief knocker.
"Gentlemen, unmask," commanded
tho supreme sachem. All the G. B.'s
unmasked, revealing the fact that they
were tho leading young men of Cory
villc Then tho supremo sachem, who
happened to own the grocery store in
which tho knockers chiefly knocked,
addressed tho candidates for initiation:
"Wo are tho Grand Buryers. Wo aro
digging your graves. Wo havo reach
ed tho conclusion that a few first class
funerals are needed in tho interest of
Coryvllle, and wo have selected you
gentlemen for the honor of furnishing
tho raw material. For years you havo
knocked and blocked every movement
tor tho good of our town, and wo havo
decided that Coryvllle can get along
without you. Ilowever, we aro going
to glvo you a chance. If you will
promlso solemnly to boost and not to
knock hereafter, you may tako your
own timo and die natural deaths. But
always remember tlt the Grand Bury
ers havo tho tools and that we can
dig."
Coryvlllo has no knockers now.
BURR JOYOH.
fcf
B' i n7 '
k ""i-niower must uo a goou
m ' upush it aloug. No one should Judge Marshal Car
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