Nothing is so discouraging to a young la wyer just a< he waxes cl IF ! oquent about‘angel’s tears, weepin’ FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 26, 1875. willows and tombstones, as to be interrupted by the coldblooded Clippings. justice with “You To off your nest, Intoxicating music—’Ale to the bub; this is a case of hog-stealing.” Chief. A Chicago chemist, owing to the Discoursing sweet music—blow­ non payment of his fee, refuses to return the ¿stomach of a dead man ing yocr own trumpet. , The height of impudence the sent to him foi analysis. Although the chemist has now two stomachs length of a book agent. he doesn’t appear to have any bow­ A nuinlicr seven hat wil r* ♦ just fit' els—of co tn pa ssion. a St. Louis mosquito bite. Henry Ward Beecher was intro The new German gieenbacks duced to a Shaker at the White are called Reischskaiseuscheine. Mountains and said to him. I Uli- They are pronounced good. derstand your belief deprives you A tairder subject to deal w itli jf some of the pleasures of this life. than even an old deck-'of cards, is Whereupon the other replied: It a man who don’t advertise. shields us from some of its tcmpta- Young ladies profess to be tcr- tions, also. ribly afraid of a pistol, and yet A Frenchman learning the Eng­ they don’t want it to go off. lish language complained of their-, Somebody advertises fo»- a ma­ regularity of the yerb ‘to go,’ the chine-girl, id she better than a present tense of which some wag band-maid? * had written out for him as follows: yJosh Billings says he will take I go; thou stariest; he departs; wc the etaga this winter; also the make tracks; you cut sticks; they railroad cars, when they ruu his absquatulate or skcddadle. . ’ way. The Chicago Tribune says that Priji^is’pi is very indigestible, Daniel O’Connell was proud of his and the oue that makes it, would power of giving a lick with the rather see some one else dispose of rough side of his tongue. It would it than himself. .have been a great relief to the 4n>‘ letters for Mike Howe? young men in the post office if Mr. asked an individual of a clerk ata O’ConnelJ’s services could have poet-affice window. No letter rs for been secured for the etamp depart­ ment. any body’s cow. A.,littlc girl went into a neigh- x The Milwaukee News has re- ceived an exchange with but one bor’s house one day. where some pnginal article—a five line ac- apple-parings lay on a plate-on the knowledgement of the receipt of a table. After sitting aw bile, she said, I smell ajiples. Yes, the la­ String of fish. I have bought my ‘first last,’was r When you meet a small youth equipage may not with propriety playing the drum, at the hpnd of a be called a carte blanche! We always iccord with regret lot of two-foot soldier: s, with n stick any instaucc of a man’s striking and brass kettle, you may know his sistcr-in law. It is a cruel in- thalhis mother has the preserving tio ation to his wife’s mother that fever, and has sit down to wriuo he’ll never marry in that family her hands and wonder what on earth has become of that boy she again. An Englishman isirying to find has sent after Mrs. Jones’ kettle not, 'you know, whj^ the double| two hours ago. What are you doing there; why bass viol player of ap orchestra is always baldheaded. Perhaps it is don’t you go to work? asked a because the leading violin takes father of his son. I’m like Micaw- ber, replied the youth, waiting for the ’air. • Father Imhoff, of Richmond, In­ something to turn up. The bov diana, has just lived out his hund­ was placed across the paternal redth year. It is hoped, by his kuee, and received the usual mild irieuds, he will live to |>ack his admonition, lie believes now that carpet bag next year, and sav to something has turned up in a doub­ the public: Imhoff to the Centenni- le sense, entirely different from •*- ' ?[ ■ what he expected. A very fashionable Danbury la­ A few days ago a Norwich man bought a chest of lea in Provi­ dy tried to mount the step in front' dence, and on opening it found a of MerriU’s grocery, the other day, atouc inside weighing nearly eleven but her pull back prevented her. pouhds. He remarked that the Several times she repeated the at­ weighs of Providence are veiy tempt, but without success, ‘while an anxious ¡»opulacc looked on. mysterious. A jailor in a Western State had What do you suppose she then did? received strict orders not to keep Retreated? 0, no. She just turn- his prisoners in solitary confine- ed around, and went up the step pient. Oree when he had two in backward, as easy as could be. clfarge -one escaped, and he was Two women have started a bar­ * obliged to kick the other out of the ber-shop in ritusvillc. We saw door to comply with the iegula- one woman start a barber-shop once. She came in with a cow­ lion. Danbury has the champion pa­ hide in her hand and said she was ticq^ boy. lle went to a neigh- going to horsewhip the man who bor’s house for a cup of sour milk, had been talking about her; and f haven’t anything but sweet milk, eight men with towels under their Mid The woman pettishly. I will chins and lather on their faces, wait till it sours, said the obliging hustled out of the chairs and start­ ed for the back door on a run. youth, sinking into a OUR COLUMN hi** cergo, when fuller suddenly The naughtiest thing Blitz ever (jid emerged, lid uret first, frojn the wa- was to 1 disturb a negro meeting som0‘ •ter, thrustin g his goggle eyes and years ago in'Belknap street, Boston;; uglv head before the astonished oc- I t 1 • • .1 ZV The story is not generally known, cupant of the boat, and seizing one it would, perhaps, have caused some* of the largest of the melons, sunk personal trouble to him, hkd it beei( immediately. The darkey, with a represented to the authorities. All Boston knows or has heard o| fi-'I yell and a bound,-reached the dock, the negro preacher, Father! Snowden, and neither stopped noi; turned un­ _ - who held forth to his.culUred bredf til he reached’ home with tidings derin, in Belknap stfeetlfor many that do ddbble had ’fiscated de .'I* years. . , I ■ n Ih»rr c. ' V melons a nd was taken ’uni down. Blitz and the Darkle« 5_>T».ll________ ..x_ iJx LBANKS BLANKS blanks : blanks ; blanks ; blank - i ,R It was a quiet Summer’s¡ftfterx:oQn and the house was pretty Well filled —there being a revival of Religion go­ ing on among amoiq the gentlemen of color —when Blitz with some pt-rsons (aly though he is himself as dark as a nju? latto, and has curly hair to boot) en- tered I the house. It was pretty wiriu weatl her, and consequent the hall wa^ not a little ofiensive to the. senses po-J lite; but things went on nicely euougti uutil the minister got warjned up ifl his subject, and was using words, al­ most too long for a common-sized dictionary, when Blitz thought it about, time to do something. » And the Lord said unto Moses— |i Bow-wow-wow, came apparently . S • ' ■ -J--------------- • * * G :-i j' ” from behind tho speaker. HOUSEKEEPER CAN MAKE SWEET The congregation looked; each other NO AND WHOLESOME BREAD WITH­ in the face, with countenances darker OUT IT. than ever, while Father Sijowden, af-, This well known ai d long established ter staring bcdiind himself, seemed.tqi seemed.t-q; YEAST POWDER is now in great demand. increasing daily* Now 2.» gross per come to the conclusion that tlie noise; Sales davtothi.' trade. 1>. CALLAGHAN now preoecdid from tho street* ' and so he so4e traUHfa-vt1 rer aiui proprietor, 1 sts no • . drugs -Im bone d> st; pure white cream of comant need again. i*; Tartar, imported direct and ground on the And the Lord said unto Moses— ¡ premises, being the chief ingredient, Stand from under, cried a yoict| Alwajson hand and for sale at lowest prices: I apparently at the top o /t|ie house. ■t’ulliigfhaM's Yenst Pow«ier, in 1 lb The startled congregation rolled upj cans. 11 superior article. the whites of tlieir eyes to.the ceiling’ Callnghan'1« C'reum of Tartar, in all styles of packages. in amazement, while tho minister1, Callag-liaa's Pi: <» Hnglish Bi-cop*** suddenly drew to one side] expecting- bouate «»fNotla anil Salerat us, F01$ SALE BY ALL GR0CER8, something was coming 4own- Pp.i: But — AI «o— Cream of Tartar 1 'rystals ami Bug. after a moment’s pause, all s(V?me<$] lisi* Ili-Carbonate <>f Soda, in Iteg-s. ------si FOR < LE A' quiet, and Mr, Snowden^ry SUIDvd. M*i ■ ' D. CALLAGHAN A- d’).. M- o ’•cturcrs, And the Lord said unto Moses 1 •• F >. Street, b;>5 >ancia ;o. I April 2?: - j Ain’t you ashamed of yours«. If ? take’ your hands off of me ¿! ’ said ii voice prp- ceeding api»areutly from a neat ; inu- latto girl, who sat in the ¡front and upon whom all ¿yes were « turned. I didn’t touch her;! sa|(l the man next to her, in amazement. Some smiled and said Bum Johnsori. I • • ■ • ** -1* ought to be ashamed of hijnself to ac>t up so in meeting, and thp minister frowned upon him in a wHy. that} would have thawed a snowball out­ right, after which Air. Scowden at- 0 * 1 . tempted «neo more to resume lqs re­ I marks. Ai.d the Lord said unto; Moses— Well, what did he say? came snd THE. denly from th« big lips of an atten­ tive listener in the side hiislc. Tfie minister was astounded. He looked at the man as though his boldness had electrified him, while somezof the congregation began to thjnk that un­ der the circumstances the inquiry was a very natural and appr< print«, one’. As to the minister himse f, he was a NCI 8 CO. little vexed, now, and re; ■pcated with emphasis. EAB. z I ’* * »**'1 And the Lord said nntd I Moses — The G.-ent Pupe the Farmers Flire! Fire! roared a v pice, which' Miner, JCech .Tlerelmiit. C ft seemed to come from the ; entrance of OUJl Dors AN -S”. DEPART- MENT* JS A the house with startling emphasis., OSJ ITTEAtTJVR EEATUliE This was too much to bear tamely. A3 a PlrcGde c r the Famllj panion Evtir th® minister rushed-to the door,, dr. ic the “ iklj” 11 equaled. and the affrighted Womten sreamed .EVERY GRA t?JE22 shou have tt . ► like mad, as they huddled.and piulied CET/UP CL 8. each other down the aisle. Bonnets a Club suffered some on the occasion, and. O 50 when they all fairly got out, they' 8 00 looked up at the top of tljc meeting­ • 5 00 house, patiently waiting to see the odvaneo in U. S. (lol Coin equivalent in Curredc flames burst out through the slated; Í f roof. Am ifleent MAP of - I i And there Blitz left tbeni standing, the Pacific Coast jeir ■ eyes rolled heavenward, sen thi - r 1 •. apd -» to every subsci ibo « Parsou ’araoi Snowden in a brown study. EE YOUNG NS ¡BLANKS BLANK­ x EXECUTIONS i BLANKS BLANK" a Í.5LANKS BL.WK' BLANK­ ATTACHMENTS ¡BLANKS BLANK." ATTATCHMENIS ¡BLANKS BLANK­ ATTATCHMENTS ¡BLANKS BLANK ; ATT ATCI1M ENTS •BLANKS BLANK."’- B lanks BLANKS BLANKS BLANKS BLA :KS ». BLANKS BLANKS COURIER r OFFICE ‘ I ’ . J . ■ ‘ -< f ' ' I ■ I • Is Prepared to do all kinds - ----- OF;------- JOB PRINTING . ; . 4 = z = E* S r ’ ’ -1 H IN.A------- ■a ® 5 » ~ » T S MA j Y j YER * superior To to the Hartford Times contains the I _ .. . .1. 1 — following story as told by George • W. Fuller, a subma. ific diver, who is now iu the former pity: While performing some wol k dor Unde. Sam in one of the Southern'ports, where it was customary for those who supplied the market with ear­ ly garden-truck to load lheir boa|s an row them around) to the wharf, it happened one day that a burly negro loaded his boat with water­ melons, and had just reached the dock where the usual number of ‘ring the opcr- loungers stood watching ations of the diver, The negro all unconscious of his situation, was zealouslv endeavoring to dispose of ve subscriptions. Specimen »ent free. S end 1 or ox r . Z * -Ô ® i c S* « X ANY JOB OFFRE I1 s rJT"J*£3 g.=.r g ® 5 £ ñ Ein w ? ft “3 •*'3 ** f 2 S - - f = ft ~ 5 o = © ; r* -A ¿ * ► a * •— a X- ¡X „ s-. J, .yz «y. —» 50 2. S iix-o. © —3 -2 F E* ris BLA N K S GAL L 0 £3'5'® M> è m n ■» -w ®* ri s.5 E* S’ »s e s? »? 7 S’ A r-.< r- Ä I IMIS V 1 ,S - r* X J ’ n-i«l Cheaper than • CT ib 1 -, r>. *>•' -* O C ** R i Í * V J « ■ ' I M ortgages Kf The Best in the World! - BLAN» BLANKS •‘BLANKS ¡BLANKS •BLANKS ¡BLANKS ^BLANKS BLANKS BLANKS *-■ I I Ì On Hand or Printed to Order SlfORT NOTICE. A ■ FARMS ™ SALE . HA VINO THE OXLT s HAVE TWO GOO') FARMS FOK.SALE at .very reasonable terms —each contain­ ing 340 acrea One i- situate o’le mi'e and a half north of Lalayette; is w<-ll improved. Ha> a good I OllCHARD And al kinds of shri bbesv of tld • MILL^ITK THIS PART O F THE STATE On this placei'pllefpy of good timber: abort 0 acres cleared. j ither of these farms can l>c secured at a hagrain. Tern s easy. For farther particulars enquire of S. SMITH, o;- at this office. We «ye enabled to make A, SPECIALTY* • ■ ’ h. - I . Of such Printing as G P IIE RI D E ». « NVITATION AXD N ms. : j • AND BUSINESS CAROS, FANCY PLAYO A KD’ ! v¡ rL.ATCAni-8, VISITINO CARDS, LABELS, ETC. . ■ . CIKCVLABS, ________ _ _ CllEt KS, ETC. Í Aiblreäs orders to “THE COURIER,” » LAFAYETTE, OWN. The xt-cat stiver plater, cleaner, and pol­ isher. Jiulespenslble. io every family. A fortun* < >ragents. Sells at sight. Sam­ ple freok Send for it. Address at once, KENDALL A CO, 4« Chicago, Ill. _ ” I . '__ ‘ '________ ■ s «JOHN WTLL.IA 1U8ON, REAL ESTATE AG EXT or YAMHILL County, OGN. ERSONS WISHING TO INVEST Ilf Real Estate will do well to call on nip before purchasing elsewhere. I have land of all varieties, and tn quan titles to suit purchasers. 1 Térms reasonable. * &TResidence and office in Clielialem Valley. », P Io THE PARKER CUN per day. Agents want: ed. All classes ot work: jng people of both sexes young and old, make more money at woik for ns in their own localities, during spare moments, or all the time, than at an) tiling else. We o;fer e n ploy men t that will pay hands »n.ely for every hour’a work. Full particulars, terma, Ac-, sent free, ¿'endue «your addie sat onee. Don’t delay. Now is the tima. Don’t look for work ordusinesa elsewheic. u .til you have learned what we offer. G. S hnsox tjq.. Portland. Maine 00 OOOODOO Ì0OC OOOO OOOOOOOOODOOOOOOOOOQ .SEND STAMP FOR CIRCULAR EMIL : 0LIE8. • j i ’* PARKER BRO’S Watchmaker «Si Jeweler, WEST MERIDEN,CT c M c M innville . •TT 1 T 73uo3d-ly o'oooonooobooooooooo QOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOQ ° ’ ’ . JL . * O