/t / a t 4 i 9 I I to I 'I r 4' I ■ 1 » r > f- rm-; i ■i t 1 co Y I 4 I V I. A FA ¥ ETTE, J OllEGC>N, J UN E 1 1, IS ?4. j VOL. IX. ", . — 1 ■ 1 '■ 1 1 fLafa vette . I V ; " ■ 1 Courier. ' NO. 16 ' — f J a , I.adies Don’t You Marry. Clian^e« of a Century. I although enough to secure' it it CLIPPINGS. . -^-2' _ ... » Following is from the New there is a board within reitch.-Hc Published - every Friday by The ¿Imericaif Register prints A green-groccr-Onc who trusts. The nineteenth century has wit­ is a vbrv obsinate animal-; and it York Weekly: ♦ DORRISS HEMBREE the’ views of a corespondent (a nessed manv and great discoveries. Vegctable philosophy—Sage ad- is almost impossible to mpvehim “Class in Natural History stand lady) as to whom girls ought not In 1908 Fulton took out the ce. 7 when he has once plamcdjhis foot up. What is a lion?’’ x > TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION. to marry. The list is so long that first patent for the invention ofti i .A table of interest—The dinner down. Like other show folks he “ Bob White — lie ’ s a lyin ’ about Copy, One Year, 93 oo we lear no men will be left for steamboat. » ■; - * table. is occasionally hard up. Tisavl an those who follow hbr advice. Her Copy, Six Month*. 1 75 me half the /time.” The first steamboats which made 1 OO Copy, Three Month«, “Mv gad will be Ivin' about elephant shove his trunk ht|a piiwn catalogue is formidable; whether regular trips across the Atlantic I Cure for a felon—Take it to the ! your back pretty lively if you don’t shop once, but it ruined the pawri- ' it is just we leave to the reader’s Ocean was the Sirus and Great penitentiary. . broker trying to advance onl it. judgment from the few .specimen look sharp. Go on." A family of original crematioB- Western in 1830. , Boy murmurs under his breath, Hannibal was a celebrated «cle- extracts: l ììu-n, I 75 1 23 I I 75 I ». uu ;o<> ! 15 The first public application to ists—Burn-’ems. pliant, and Ilaiyii1 »al, Missouri ivas Sluchcs, I 173 j 2 30 j 3 <0 ¡ MO ¡T2 j 1H (»0 “My Gad!" and continues: Don't marry any ljian over for­ practice the use of gas for illumina­ ’Tailor measuring fat customer. Sinché«, I 2 >0 i 3 5i» 4 5»» | !» 0-» Is I “The lion is a native of a me­ named after him. Theijc vjerc ty. He tTrjstlcs with habits as* ting was made in 1802. --“Would you hold the end, sir, 20 I 4lhv!ies, ; 3 <0 | -1 00 ‘ 5 ‘I!» | il qaee two elephants ayho jrav^lcd nagerie, generally found in the 4 CoïT 1'470 1 5 50j j is 'I 3 » 50 , Don’t marry the lively man. gas. way porters? Because they do a and that made Romc-oicc w|icnever I very strong, as you perceiv Don't marry the man who stops In 181J there was built at 4 pod deal of coupling. li tica-i in the Local Columns, 23 Juliac/.’’ smelling his cage. Hepounc eent< per iiiu, each i:i>ei ti<»n. your mouth with*: compliments, Waltham, Mas ss., a mill believed For 1 -g »1 nini tran-ieut ad > ■r'isements $2.- Suggests the Travelers’ Record: ‘‘Can any scl liis victims by stealth, and ii • lii-t iiiser- 5») por sq’inre of 12 lines, for the 4. makes des[>erate love to you the to have been the first in the world IIow to shorten ocean voyages— i the rhinoceros? lion, a 1 i ?l J» • p r -q '.ar ? tor ea •h ■: subsequent itics lie is a tory.” 1 H'Orlion. “Yes, I can. The rhior¡crons i s first time he sees you, and talks which combined all the require­ Lengthen the riiips. “A tory?’’ AdnertixeiHFnfs fo Paùlr for >a_Periatiq.lion, mal.also, and a iratitebf 8lujiqira. ' tourage, or BUSINESS CARDS “He handled his gun carelessly, presence of mind— In 1S07 wooden clocks com ­ Thev don ’ t live loner m- tllis cimn- -- * Ricnard*'Cceur de Lion, lyin’ iu * ° ; ?» these qualities notbe^ng, as a rule. menced to be made bv machinery. arid put on his angel plumage.” is ! try, but if you want to collectojain-1 W. M. RAMSEY, If'* • * * wait, dandelion, and lyin’ like conspicuous in him.I r | This ushered in the era of cheap the latest Western obituary notice. ages it don’t do aiiy good io go to J who has a i clocks.. -Attorney at Law, Old Harry.” Don’t marry a mdn An experienced old gentleman Su matra. Drinking m(Ji dpn't “ What is the female lion called?' LAFAYETTE, OREGON. About the year 1833 the first- sriys that all that is necessary in I I great many sisters. ySuch a rinan like to see snakes and thi* "s* - at “Lady of Lyons.” ‘I a ~ is always spoiled; bfe’des which, railroad , of any considerable the epjoymeqrf of love or sausagtes “You will be Claw'd if you nienaircrie, but after a ha d spree :t is not pleasant to be engaged to length in the United States was i$ confidence. • ’ ’ keep on. Who was the first lion a toper has no ocyection tc| a tapir, a man who knows all about your constructed. » ¡HA*. A. BALI.. B «TOTT “A stitch in time saves nine.”— ‘ You can bavera recessi g^and BALL Ä STik and oitier counties him he can sit down, which he can't tallest trees, corres on^mg- an eye-glass,, or ■’ tight boots with i i Oregon. .2U’.y Steel pens were introduced for fensive remark is cobblqd with the high heels, w„ho curls his hair or ly fond of high livjng with any comfort for gome time.]? greatest promptitude. use in 1803. his mustache, who puts scent in bis ii his eyelids, “Next boy. Describe the tiger.” “Let some fri.'ky £ou tgsü r riiouut i whiskers or bleaches JAS. McCAIN, A New York merchant mgreharit absent- The first successful reaper was ” ■ I J- - the playful dromedary. “The Royal Bengal Tiger is a ipindcdly copied a love-letter to - . who lisjis, who hasfljis finger-nails constructed in 1833. ATTORNEY AT LAW, "The dromedary lor $ rabian 4 native of lifdia,where he lives in In 1846 Elias llowe obtained a 111 is “heart’s idol” in the letter-book long and pointed, carefully cut fn LAF.tXETrE, OREGON. ■ ¡ ’ , camel,, is an elcfediiiglt useful ‘ ’s I India-gcnt circumstances until patent for the* first sewing Ma- o f the firm before sending it. an almond shape, wl|o wears four- ; ! ILL I’ilACH E IN ALL OF THE America, beasTMt burden, and firnMics-iriilk' niarllvStf caged and brought :' ■ to the Arabs. iL’hefç is |o w]ky j buttoned gloves, t; kes six and . -A - Jr, -4 when, after taking out his natur 1 ’ he first successful method of E U. BRADS HAW, three-quaiters, and jells you so; Benn., has named his dog Pcnriy, vulcanized Lidi Y Rubber was pat­ alization paper, he euter^ upon a , equal to the droiiMiwV. Thqftjmk because it was one cent to him and orne a t Law, I career of indolence and luxury. | is said to be excellent Bs Miei[||ai1e ! wh0l if he be dark w rs a red era- ented in 1839. ■j vat, and if he be far, a skv-blue has had ten mills with the cat. • L A F AY KITE. OK EG OX. He makes a triumphal procession no pumps there), and Afa A J oke on a C ongressman .— —there is no surfer indication » siders his desert conipleteWii’ A pla card in a Brooklyn bar- through the streets on top of a Tlicre is a sight of wickedness - Office iu the Court House. man ’ s character than his neck- gilded chariot, and varies his diet The dromedary caii go man] left in the world yet. Some chap ber’s shop window announces, 1 always look at that first — LAFAYETTE BUSINESS DIRECTORY.» roccasionally by chawing up an an­ without water,but tj)ei|eafe i at Washington sent a circu’ar to ‘^Boots blacked inside.” But must WJio has enameled visiting cards imal performer. He likes a sleight this country who : pui injik the Granges of the West,contain­ not that be very bad for the stock­ a brilliant monogram, and al- and » ERGUSON Jt BIRD, corner of Jelleraon of hand man best, on account of : dromedary sick at? that gpmje^Tor ings? ing the statement that any public and Main ; dealers in produce ai.dgen I *i..__ Oi.uL I ' wayi 9 wears a rosebud in Jiis but- they don’t .drink watep in era! merchandise. his loudness for the jugular.” documents desired by the members i “1 say,” said a rough fellew to a ii i ■ i ton hole. li ” ' year ’ s end to another.I ’ I • ; ■ ’ . .1 H “In what manner do men figlit ELTY A SIMI’SON. north side .Main j Don ’ t marry a niah who keeps would be promptly forwarded by. fop with conspicuous bow-legs. “I street; dealers in drugs, confection­ “ You have drummed long eti the tiger?” eries uud family s ipplies. ' bull dogs. He is sure to be like express if they would send their & y, dou’t you have to have your at that dromedary.'Zebidde, “With red - and whitei checks addresses to members of Congress. ■ -ntaJoons cut with a circular •t ' , 3 AS. McCAlN, attorney; office on soutlf them. I can you make somqmentida Qi the side Mem street, f mostly.” -« As a result, the various Senators w?” - Don ’ t marry a man who gets bear? ” • M. RAMSEY. County Judge and , “ You ’ ll pass in yours early if andvReprese^tatives at the Capital I • attorney at law,—office in the per- up carlyj Nothing makes a It is good ground for divorcein “Yes, bare mention ' Thcge are Court House. ’A. you don’t look sharp.’ have been deluged with letters son so insufferablv conceited. St. Louis if a wife finds one hun­ “Next boy. Tell us something numerous varieties of beais,? slich OHN BIRD, went «ide Jetferaon-Street, from their agricultural constitu ­ as the polar bear, black, bearj griz­ I ’ Don’t marrv a man whom no- dealer.in atuves and’tinware. dred and thirteen loye letters from about the leopard?’ ' tlwatl body ever says any evil «of. Be ents to an extent undreamed of, a red-headed .woman in her hus­ C. BRADSHAW, attorney at law “The leopard is a native of Af­ zly bear, necks bear, bears‘off Wall two or three bushels per day being band’s pocket. I sure that he is a poor Creature. 11 ««,1 I I street, bare ’ s a billiard b il|| and ST. JOSEPH" BUS1N8SS DIRECTOR^. rica, and, for that reason some I)onrt marrv a man who doesn’t a fair complement for some of bear and forbear. I go : I oiHiear. folks want him included in the them And they keep coming. | A cautious Evansville reporter, ELTY «t SIMPSON, cor. 4th and Elm ; smoke, and who prides iiimself up ­ dealers in groceries, glassware, queehs Civil Rights Bill. He has a thiev­ Bear’s oil is a favorite wi ,h some, Some of the Western members, in sf>eaking of a man; both of on it. ware and patent medicines I ish disposition, but it is difficult but 1 don’t want to have J bear who would particularly like to w iose leg« were cut off by a rail* t marry a man who has a . Don ’ OTEL, J.H. olds, -proprietor; cor for him to get away with any- soil me. When it comes did hug- 1 cultivate the Grangers, find them-1 rdad train, says, “he will probably of tth and Depot streets. New house great admiration for Dr. Johnson, ging, the bear exceeds aju I go<-d accommodations. . thing.” selves placed-in a very embarras- be a.cripple for life He is snre to be a bear. animals, which accounts/dr, DA YTON BUhlN-îÎFDIRECTORY. “How so? AA a iter (to old gent at restau- I Don’t rfiarrv a man who invents sing situation. It will take all “ Because he is always‘spotted’.” ing a favorite among the l ‘C. <. ALL, MXNUFACTUllER OF things. Invention is the offspring “That is enough; you; e jtì; youh Saddles and Harness. AH work 'Y»r- What have you further to sa/ the cart-loads of Agricultural and Qent (to waiter). Yes, bring me ranted. Or lers left with J. W\ Cullen will of necessity. z bear-on any more. ’ | / .1 ; about the leopard?” ■> I receiv« prompt attention. Don’t marry a good-natured Patent office Reports ordered, and a pancake; will it be long? Wait- “ No, that is the la/t of tlii I ‘*11 he is ever caught hauling Hl’.iS. TAYLOR, dealer la general mer- V man. Good nature - is to a man if they don’t do it they will get e “. —No, sir; round. • cbandise. Odd Fellows' building. The down the American flag, shoot ons.” V cheap cash store. A student asked to know,| .since what the gilt leaf naughty boys sat down upon by the enraged ‘‘Boy, is that a licensed dog?” numerous spots. ” him on one of the S. POWE LI., Saw Mill. POWELL; Mill Dressed the armadillo was provided With sometimes adorn a spariow with members of the Order. atked a Detroit policeman, “Nor * ---------- ----------- • lumber «f all kinds, doo; trsand win- “Who said that?” so impenetrable a coat of jnaail, of | dow frames. 1 ____ ____ __________ ' * A Milwaukee pa per says of a said the youngster; “he’s a rat ter­ < what use.it *wras to artn-a diAo, but is to that unhappy bird.; All the “Ipse.Dix-it.” •ifoWABD A STEWAfir, blacksmiths, other sparrows get around him and literary gentleman of that city: rier dog, and I’m taking him down H oward A BTEWAfir, blacksmiths, I ■ ■ Wagons, hacks and buggies ironed. “Correct! Go up to the foot, he was promptly apd sharj>ly*re- peck at him. buked for ' bis his aridillato aridillatorjousness; «“1 The subdued light of those mild- to have his teeth filed.” bilked ; , ---------- i Gunsmitlnug and general job work done. p..* „.u^„ ---- *t.. _ 2Li_i.il : NELL & CO., Ferry street; dealers in Next boy, Tackle the elephant. but when another boy ask r • | n’ 0’0 » t ■ F" c « ■ ’* ' A W A A ’ ’ I • ‘ ‘5* i z L * , -------- » — A •....<►*• I * 1 1 l- — ; ■-?' 1 W i •> i I i - '■ r ‘ w / * I I *, •I * ’ p t I 9 1^ F ■ K J W J - « I • » ■ 2 t -------- — ... f —------ ----------- ! r ' | * K H C I C W li 4 i • I H I ■ J I •Û - 1 •