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About The Madras pioneer. (Madras, Crook County, Or.) 1904-current | View Entire Issue (Jan. 25, 1912)
WHO WOULD BE A BACK NUMBER? THE PROFESSIONAL MAN WHO DOES NOT READ THE NEWSPAPERS IS A BACK NUMBER. TAKE THK LAWYER. The pnjicrs are constantly chronicling important trials or printing jtn-li-cial opinion? nn! decision involv ing new and interesting points. TAKE THE DOCTOR. Ev en new medical discovery, every interesting experiment, if suffi V'otly important, is reported in lie press. It ma,? not he told in 1 'clinical language, lint It gives a clew that may he followed np by the phvsician if he is so minded. V "Ml AIJ. THE PRO ).'.cv()Ys These are hut sug gestions of the one hundred and one ways that the newspapers are useful to tho professional man, whether he he engineer, chemist. phvician, lawyer, minister or col lege president. THIS NEWSPAPER KEEPS YOU --"JCH WITH THE WORLD UR SUBSCRIPTION. Underwood Standard Typewriter POPULARITY When the UNDERWOOD nade its advent in the market fourteen years ago. as the original front stroke visible writing typewriter, it met with instant popular favor because it marked a distinct advance in the art Df typewriter construction. Typewriters representing indesign and construction the best achievements of the mechanical world up to that lime have been dis--tanced by the UNDER WOOD in the markets of the world until today its 3ales largely exceed those oi any other make of machine. 4In the effort to Dffset the universal popu larity and growth of the UNDERWOOD machine, all makers of "blind" writ ing machines have changed their models to visible writers in the last few years and visible writing has become the current talking point of its critics of yesterday. The UNDERWOOD, is lesigned on correct me ihanical principles, is nade of the best material aas fewer parts in its type Dar mechanism than any Dther machine, and excels In point of du r ability, speed, accuracy, and ease 3f operation. 'The Machine You Will Eventually Buy." 68 SIXTH STREET Portland, Ore. The Book icrap Ho Saw tho Point. Nnt Goodwin wns nt the club with nn English friend and beenmo tho cen ter (if nn Appreciative group. A cigar man ofTeml the comedian n cigar, say ing that it was a new production. "With each cigar, you understand." the promoter said. "I will give n cou pon, and when you have smoked 3.000 of them you may bring tho coupons to mo and exchange them for a grand piano." Nat sniffed the cigar, pinched it gently and then replied. "If 1 smoked 3.000 of these cigars I think I would need a harp Instead, of n grand piano." There was a burst of laughter, In which the Englishman did not Join, but presently he exploded with merri ment "I soo the point," he exclaim ed. "Being nn nctor. you hnvo to travel around the country a great deal, and n harp would be so much, more convenient to carry." Haste Not, Rest Not. "Without haste, without rest. Bind tho motto to thy breast. Bear It with thee as d spell. Storm or sunshine, guarJ It welt. Heed not flowers that round thee bloom. Bear It onward to tho tomb. Haste not. Let no reckless deed Mar for ayo tho spirit's speed. Ponder well and know tho rlcht Forward then with all thy might! Haste not. Years cannot atono For ono reckless action done. Rest not. Tlmells sweeping by. Do and dare before you die. Something mighty and subllmo Leave behind to conquer time. Glorious 'tis to live for aye. When these forms have passed away. Haste not; rest not: calmly wait. Meekly hear the storms of fate. Duty bo thy polar gt Ida. Do the right whate'er betide. Haste not; rest not. Conflicts past. Good shall crown thy work at last. Schiller. Her Credit Was Ctrained. A young country merchant who had something of a reputation for close figuring was especially attentive to the village schoolma'am. The young woman had a sweet tooth and was not at all retiring about making the fact known. Accordingly, she hinted to her admirer that a box of chocolates would be greatly appreciated on the occasion of his next visit Later the suggestion was repeated and again duly heeded. The third time the sub Ject was broached, however, the dls penser of sweets turned a deaf ear to the entreaty. "I don't know about takin that girl any. more candy," he confided to a companion next day. "She's owln' me CO cents for chocolates already." Lipplncott's. Jarred the Senator. John Sharp Williams was sauntering up Pennsylvania avenue on his way from the capitol one afternoon when a friend introduced him to Major George X. Armes, who enjoys, among other distinctions, that of being the owner of the Appomattox battlefield in Virginia. It didn't take the major long to ex plain to the Mississippi senator a bill he had had introduced In congress for the purchase of the famous battlefield by the government for a national park The MlsslRslppinn Wias much Interest ed in the project "I -am Indeed delighted to meet you Major Major I didn't quite catch the name," said the senator. "Major Armes," said the owner, of Appomattox. "I'd be glad to have your support of my bill, and, as an old sol dier with Grant, naturally I want to see the battlefield taken care of." "What!" cried . Senator Williams. "Do you mean to tell me that a Yankee owns Appomattox? This is where I fall oH the water wagon." Slim Chances For Her, A missionary who was making his way through a backwoods region came upon an old woman sitting outside the cabin. He entered upon a religious talk nud finally asked her if she didn't know there was a day of Judgment coming. "Why. no." said the old lady. "I hadn't heard o' that. Won't there be mor'n one day?" "No, my friend; only one day," was the reply. "Well, then." she mused, "I don't reckon 1 can get to go. for we're only got one mule, and John always has to go everywhere urst." .National Month ly, j He Found Him. Allen Thurmau of Columbus. O., and John J. Lentz, the former representa tive, went to a village about ten nilleB from Columbus one night to address a Democratic meeting. They drove ovt.r together in a buggy. Lentz was to talk first Tho agree ment was that each was to make a thirty minute speech and then they would come back to town together. Lentz Is a long distance orator. Ho forgot about the thirty-minute agree ment and talked for an hour without signs of stopping. Thurmau got sorer and sorer ns Lentz went along, and at the end of an hour nud fifteen minutes ha got up, left the hall, took the buggy uud drove back to Columbus. In Columbus, ten miles invay, ho ro- pouted a little, thought he had been hasty and drove back to the village. As he stopped in frout of the hall he t sited a mau; TTnvo you seen anything of John Lentz? I want to get him and drlvo him back to Columbus with mo." "Well," Bnld tho man. "If you go up in the hall you'll find him. He's talk ing yet" Saturday Evening Post SMITHEKS GOT A BUMP. Tho Mlnistor's Comment When Ho Heard How It Happened. Within ono minute of stepping out of tho taxlcab in front of his homo Mr. Smlthcrs received two separate and distinct shocks. The first was the slzo of tho bill, and the second was tho re sult of his argument with tho chauf feur. Mr. Smlthcrs used such lan guage to tho chauffeur before he paid the bill that tho taxi man could not re sist tho temptation to swat Mr. Smith ers Just once before departing. On cither side of Mr. Smlthcrs lived a gentleman of tho cloth, and once dur ing tho fracas with the chauffeur Mr. Smlthcrs thought he hoard some ono spring a shade In tho house next door, but before he had time to turn and soo who It was tho chauffeur lauded with that swat. When Mr. Smlthcrs regain ed his feet tho only thing present which had not been there before was a lump rapidly rising In the center of his classic brow. Next evening at a Imnquet ho met his good neighbor on the east, the Itev. Mr. Havens, who greeted him cordial ly, but eyed his lump. "Why. my denr friend." began the clergyman solicitously, "how did you meet with your painful Injury?" "Oh eh er I had to go down Into the cellar last night to see about some thing that went wrong with the nir nace. Heastly things, furnaces, you understand. Always getting out of kilter and making jou go down Into dark cellars-er anil poking round In the blackness." Then Mr. Smlthcrs proceeded Into many minute details of bow tie bad hit his head against a pro jection, how It had felled him to the earth, how ho had risen painfully and dragged himself upstairs, but how, in spite of all he could do. the lump had come out and asserted itself. The minister listened. "Queer, isn't it," ho remarked reminiscent ly, "how people get hurt? There was a woman I knew who came to c hurch one Sun day morning with a wound upon her forehead, and when I Inquired of her how her Injury was received she has tened to assure me that It was nothing at nil serious. 'I I bit it,' said she." New York Press. Lowell's Pun. Once after exposing tho ridiculous blunders of the editor of certain old plays James Russell Lowell concluded with the remark, "In point of fact, we must apply to this gentleman the name of Hie first king of Sparta." No ono remembered, of course, what this wns, but when they looked It up they found It was Eudamidas. The Young Member. Grantley Berkeley In his "Recollec tions" notes one of tho shortest par liamentary speeches on record. It was In the house of commons, Leonard "1 AM BUT A YOU.NO lIEMUEIt." Charlton tried to make a maiden i speech, and, rising In his place with a very bald head, known, too, ns he was to everybody as one of the oldest stag ers In all the ways of tho world, he began with great affectation of Inex perience and with an exceedingly mild voice, "Mr. Speaker, I am but a young member." On hearing this assertion from so crafty a man, possessing so venerable a pate, the entire house roar ed with laughter. Twice he stopped, and three times ho commenced with these wordx, but It was useless. The house would not listen, uud he never essayed to speak again. Out of tho Battle. There Is In existence a very modest man who, though now peacefully em ployed, has In his day seen lighting In many parts of the globe. Ills friends know this aud lose no opportunity to druw him out nnent his thrilling war adventures. But the veteran's modesty is such that his talcs are more than likely to be colorless and disappoint ing. Once some of his friends corner ed him and by artful subterfuges led the conversation straight up to a cer tain battle, In which, as they knew, the veteran had participated. In n mo ment of carelessness ho allowed him self to be trapped Into statements re garding that battle, whereupon, not ing that he had warmed to the sub ject, ono of his frleudfl suddenly said. 'You were in that battle, weren't you?" 'Y-yes," confessed the veteran, much embarrassed. "Tell us about your ex periences on that day," commanded ono of tho gathering There was a breathless silence, Tho tighter saw there was no way out of It. "On that day," he began slowly, "at n conserva tive estlmato"-nll leaned forwurd en cerly "1 ran twelvo miles." PODLTOtf mm t AMM.tl NOTES IVY C.M.DAHNITZ UIYfUSfiMS I'A. o C0UP.E5PflNuilCB SOLICITED These nt tides and llluitmtkmi must not bo ririntU without (special permis sion.) DRY PICKING POULTRY. Why do gome drwwed fowls lo that bright color, sweet frth llnvor and collapse bo quick? Itecause of a torn, broken, rubbed or siiilded skin. A perfect dry skin Is protection against bacteria, but oiico broken the rtesh beneath Is at the mercy of its environment and soon swarm. A uell hlPd. dry picked, wholo skin ned, air chilled bird In alv months' cold storage clutugtM but slightly, but a untitled fowl, Ith It duatroyod skin structure, quickly gits slippery and de teriorates. It pays to dry pick. The fowl looks, keeps, tastes and sells butter and In so Photo by C. M. nnrnltz. i an iixpnitT at wonrc. i , much more healthful for food that all ought to ilck this style, and it Is ho , easy that after practice on a few adult fowls tender broilers may be picked quic kly without tearing. Provide a barrel for feathers, a buck et for blood and a regular killing or pocket knife. 11m nt; bird as In picture, take head In left hand, stretch neck, open mouth wide. Insert knife and sever blood ves sels on either side of neck, cutting to ward base of bruin. When bird bleeds freely press point of knife quickly Into brain. The fowl at once draws wings close and as tremor passes through body pick fast, as foathors are then Ioom. With head In one hand grasp large wing feathers firmly with other and Photo hy C. M. Harnlts. A DltT PICKED nUOn.KR. isvilhdrnw: next tail feathers, then tender portions of body, Htich us breast, abdomen, back, wings, thlflis and, last, pIufouthorH. Grasp a Btnall handful at a time from one section and pull In dlrectlou of least resistance. Many do not singe. A small quantity of alcohol ablaze In a dish is best for this, caro being taken not to char or heat skin. Cold nir la best for cooling. Writer soaks tho Hklii, udds weight aud ha teua docny. , , ' ' u j, . j ITEMS OF INTEREST I'OU HALE--A house ami four lots for lens than coat on north hWo of Mad not. Tho house Is Woll built but not quite finished, tho lots nro GOxlOO. Must bo sold at once. For Information write Ora Van TuhhoI, Vnnorn, Ore. jy 20-tf Farm lo ANsTTiiSras laFBiiF I'OK SALH At tho Pioneer Oltlou l,gal Blanks of all klndti; Carbon and Typewriter paper, ' Insialliiiunt Sulo contract, "Notes and Receipts. .MONEY TO LOAN ON FARMS. Sot M'ulnis Stale llivnlc. TO LOAN Money on deeded land. Inquire of U. V. Turner. - TO LOAN-$ro7oo000 on farm lands. See Hrenton Jodoh, Motollus, Ore. New lino of DOLLS just received nt Mrs. Crosby's. Just arrived at tho Tum-A-Lum Lum ber yard, u car load of old fashioned mnplo wood. Call and look it over be fore buying.' Win. Esselatyn, Man ager. t!28-tf "kOiT'sAI.E-S. C. Brown Leghorns, heavy layers; COO farm rained. Trios, $8.r0; Cockerels, $D.OO; Eggs, $2.00 per 15, $0.00 per 100; Hnby chicks, $15.00 por 100. Primrose Poultry Plant, James Ireland, -111 Spalding Building, Port land, Oregon. jll-it-h 1912 CATALOG Mailed Free AND BUILD IT FOR LESS MONEY Buy the millwoik tlitert from our bij factory for one.llttrtl to half ol what you would pay your local dealer. Wc oocratc our own mill and can Ruaiantec evrry piece wo make to be well-made and oi choicest Liln-dricd lumber. 0. B. WILLIAMS' SASH find DOORS 5-panel dooti, 15 ilief, $1.30. Ctaftiman bungalow doon. $1.60. Bungalow front doois, $5 and $G. Imule ti tn, 10 pci. toet, 80c 'J We mII nyl Jy f tiJi. Jup nyvfirrc, uimantre ) Uli tijr. Write foi culoa ,r Fscc Mi Mil European Plan Newly Furnished Throughout; McTAGGART HOTEL ... . The Public Auto Service to All Points of MADRAS, HflTT'.il Columbia River Bridge at Ooened January 7th Prom January 7th, 1912, the wonderful bridge Ajjffi Trunk Railway across the Columbia River at Celiio r j nnmrinn OT1M 1 Train lnnvinrr Mnrlrna R?a0 a. m.. will arTiv0 Uudrt wi n. m.. insr.GH.rl of ;00 n. m direct connection fl,,,u : r o i. at- Dnnl onH ChlcaffO' . .tM Li I 1 I 11111' II 111! Ill I I 1 I" .1 II ll II Mil. . "I I.. I MM.IMM I V ir.Jafll UM. Leaving Portland 9;55 a. m., train will arrive 1'. Hi., IIIOIVUU Ui U,VU III lilt Tickets sold through to points in the East, Nor California. Details w'ill be furnished on request. A I ami a 11 VV, C. OUIV1MIN Gen'l Freight and Passenger Agt, JNAURAQ, H. SN00K DUVOlni ft ft! - St A I) II AH -wt. ""J 0. c COLLVER NOTARY PUBLIC 1 .Tl1i.il.. .A. CULVER I EWIS II inui,.K ft I IURNEYS AT LAi; INSURANCE MADRA.mCOO,D'Baroeit ,.TW( Ora yah tassel ORE llnTlnu ... - U I An I P Rlin ' . INSURancf " VANORA, ... 11 . UflEG D, W. BARNETT NOTARY PUR! in , FOR OREGON , v Collections a Specialty. J Madras, W. P. MYERS LAWYER M CULVER JUNCTION, "OREOl Practice in ell courts, tnd Dtpttkl oi me interior, l.li t T tl.. rt . "njwo J.7.Ij IKCOEfOUTM. . Complelo tract Index to ill ai hJ niwn iota in urook county, Abtta inadu accurately on iboitnjiiii, f KINEVILLE, OB HOWARD W. TURNER U. S. COMMISSION NOTARY PUBLIC INSURANCE MADItAB 01MWI est Service Possible Given To THROUGH via Oregon Trunk M 1 Central Oregon-Foru FASTER TIME tl , m in Portland; Oro., (