UNDER POPE
WAS RIGHT
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arilli0I1 quoted above. I
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i -
PAPERS?
accurate histories of the
r, HffHir3 tell what man is
.!icro. wliothor it in
Ihmi'igli the nir, stealing a
L.MIars, laboring tor worm
. Ilt nun fntn-
tr villi to cs-
punfalimcnt for one already
making a political speech or
. . e .. ,.
Hill' I U HUH"
- tuit ir INTEREST-
mi iu -
OR IMPORTANT ESCAPES
DRAGNET OF THE NEWSPA-
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ie TUIQ PAPER.
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Standard
POPULARITY
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deftu ncipleB, is
. 01 the best m;.M,.;rii
part, in its type
do in ?e and excels
P lnt of durahi-Hitr
Oration J 1 "oc
Whine You Will
Lventuallv
8 SIXTH STREET
Ha.I
1 "'"and, Ore.
1
GOLF AND GUILE f
Or Holding a Tongue and
Winning a Wife.
By MARQARET MUZZEY. f
. i fr ' 5 $ 4 t 4. .J. .j. 4 4
Phlll) Prcntlna wna looking for n
plncu whore ho could spend his two
weeks' vacation plnyliiK Koll. As ho
stepped on (ho train ho tried to recall
exactly what pretty Salllo Norton had
(old him ut a dance the night beforo.
She said there were Bovernl attractive
reaortM along tlio river and one whoro
a lot of professional men and women
went every mimmer. Unfortunntely
tho twostep had struck up at that mo
ment, and she had omitted to mention
Its name.
"CJolf links hero?" Philip asked the
conductor as the train slowed down ut
a little station.
"Yes, sir; finest In the country. Rock
dale. Rockdale! Don't forget your
liackagesl"
An unforttiuato commuter who bun
dled off at the same time told Philip
that tho pretty little house he saw on
tho hill was tho Rockdale Golf club, so
ho mado bis way across the (lelds to
Inspect It. The fresh breeze fanned
his cheek, the blue river looked cool
and refreshing In the distance, and he
hoped this was the place Sit I lie had re
ferred to. If, with Its natural charm,
it combined the advantage of making
acquaintances desirable for a young
man eager to advance In the legal pro
fession nothing was left to be wished
for. IIo felt Inclined to Join the com
muter and ask a few more questions,
only cptild not, in decency, without of
fering to carry, some of bis bundles and
hated to make n (list appearance In a
new place bearing a bright blue box
of laundered shirts or a large gilt bird
cage.
lie Interviewed tho club instructor,
who was leaning dejectedly against a
pillar of the piazza. After Inquiring
the requisites for eligibility Philip said:
"You give lessons, I suppose?"
"I can't collect anything. Amounts
to glvln' 'em, don't It?"
"How many i.embers?" Philip ask
ed. "Ilnlf an almshouse, a third of an
old ladles' home, a quarter of a state
hospital there's that many and that
kind of folks."
The man had been drinking, Philip
thought, as ho strolled down the hill
toward a boarding house not far away
In search of luncheon.
Philip was sealed at a small table
opposite a grumpy old man dressed In
a dirty flannel shirt. Among the other
"guests" was an elderly woman wear
Ing a very Hhort skirt and spectacles,
who hurried Into the room followed by
a fat man, who was muttering Impre
cations on things In general and golf
In particular.
Philip's table companion chuckled
maliciously.
"Must lie pleasant for n man and his
wife to occupy a 10 by 10 room all
summer and not be on speaking terms
She won a cup because her handicap
was bigger than his. and he won't
forgive her."
"Tho whole atmosphere appears sul
phuric," remarked Philip.
"Are you a golfer?" asked the old
man.
"Trying to lie." said Philip.
".Married?"
"N'o."
"It Is a groat game for the single
blessed, but every family should be
without It. There Is no blood or mar
ital relationship that can mitigate Its
concentrated bitterness. A woman
went away from here yesterday to get
a divorce because her husband accused
her of moving her ball. It Is an nwful
temptation. We are all human."
After luncheon the old man asked
hlllp to play around the course. Philip
borrowed some clubs of the Instructor,
and they started off. The old duffer,
as Philip mentally stigmatized him.
tent his ball twenty-five yards; Philip
-ent his seven times as many; then he
and the caddy they had one between
them-ran ahead and waited.
The old man raised his ball and a
clod of earth at the Maine time.
"He's dlggln' for bait," said the cad
dy, grinning.
The d nlTer found his ball behind a
small mound of sod. which he pounded
Mat with a brassy, batted the bull to
the near side of the bunker, then paus
ed to consider.
"Stamp on II; mash It'!' cried Philip
"Why let a barrier raised by man In
terfere when you can smooth out na
ture as you did?"
Three times the duffer struck his
ball, anil each time It leaned P '
air and fell on the ground Just behind
him. '
"I say, old man. go back to tho farm
and play tlddlywlnks." gasped Philip.
"Rut I don't need any more practice.
I'm learning from observation."
lie sent his ball, howover, to the
edge of the green.
The next time the duffer'H ball land
ed Just oil' tho course In u rut. Philip
lighted a cigarette, keeplug one eye on
his opponent, and as ho held the blaz
ing match before his fnco tho old man
shuflled his ball with Ids foot to nil
easy lie.
"Hold on there! What nro you do
ing?" Philip cried.
"Nothing-nothing. I"-
"You moved your ball. I saw you.
Dldnlt you?" to the caddy.
"Ain't ho tho Foxy Grandpa?" Bald
the boy.
"He Ih a dlbhouent, disgustlug, dis
reputable person. A man who would
do that would rob wldowa uud or-
phana." And Philip marched off In a
rage, leaving tho duffer staring In
amazement after him.
Philip returned tho clubs to tho dis
mal Instructor and wrung his hand at
parting.
"I did you an injustice," he said.
'.'Knowing, as I do now, what your Hfo
In this placo must be, my heart bleeds
for you."
Salllo had gono away when he re
turned to town, so Philip could not tell
her tho result of his first venture Into
tho world of sport, but bo soon made
another and that time scraped the nc
quolntnnco of a youth on the train
who gavo him some information worth
having.
"If you nro looking for golf come to
Sunuyslde going thero myself. Tho
links are good, and you will find a lot
of nice people."
"I spent an afternoon at Rockdale re
cently," Bald Philip, "and found tho
oddest collection of cranks and farm
ers Imaginable."
"Crunks, perhaps, but not farmers,"
said tho youth, luughlng. "The most
distinguished doctors, lawyers, poli
ticians and scientists In the state go
there and all tho literary and progres
sive lights in petticoats."
"Good heavens! All my discrimina
tion must have escaped," Philip ex
claimed. In tho autumn Salllo wob again vis
iting their common friend at whoso
house Philip first met lier. They fell
deeply in lovo Willi each other, Philip
asked Salllo to mnrry him, and she
went homo to tell her father about It.
Soon afterward Philip was invited to
dine at Judge Norton's bouse in Or
ange. Tho lovers bad a few minutes' tnlk
before dinner.
"Father says you won't be able to
support a wlfo for years," said Sullle
sadly.
"Wo aro young enough to wait"
"Rut he says in New York without a
pull a young man Isn't likely to suc
ceed ever."
"Doesn't ho want a young partner to
relieve him of tho petty details?"
"Well, you see, there's my brother
Sam he's a sophomore and will be
graduated in four years, if he's drop
ped only twice more."
They found tho Judge and his son
waiting for them in the dining room.
After greeting Philip cordially Sam in
troduced him to his father, and, to his
blank dismay, Philip found himself
shaking hands with tho duffer!
Thero was not, however, the faintest
gleam of recognition in the Judge's eye.
Philip (hanked heaven he had grown a
Vandyke beard since (heir last meet
ing. At the end of tho dinner Sam and
Salllo left Philip to speak bis piece to
their father.
"Judge Norton, I want to marry your
daughter," ho said.
"How do you propose (o support a
wife?" inquired the Judge.
"I shall work for her"
"To all appearance," Interrupted the
Judge, "you aro without influence, for
tune or the semblance of a clientele.
No, young man. 'Go back to the farm
and play tlddlywlnks.' "
So the old duffer had known him
after all.
"Ry the bye," said Philip, after nn in
stant's hesitation, "I was belling Sam
about our game of golf."
"You held me up (o ridicule before
my son!"
"It was your moving the ball that
Impressed him. He said he would de
spise a man who did that, even if it
were his own father."
"You took a mean ndvantage of me
ns If a man is ever expected to play
fair when he is off for relaxation in the
summer!" The Judge was greatly agi
tated. "I would have given anything
to prevent having Sam told (hat," he
continued. "The effort of my life has
been to Inspire him with nbsolnte con
fidence." "Rut, don't you see, I couldn't tell
Sam the man's name? 1 didn't know it
myself till tonight."
"Upon my word, I forgot that!" ex
claimed the Judge, Immeasurably re
lieved. "How about my marrying Sallle?
You said you wauUl give auythlng to
prevent Sam knowing you cheated at
golf."
The Judge wlnoed.
"We're all lruman. remember. I
might be tempted to tell him tho man's
name yet."
"No, no not on any account! I'll
gladly give you Sallle"
"To have and to hold' my tongue
from this day forward,' " Interrupted
Philip, laughing.
ti
WICKED WASTE.
Why Boro Holes Turn to tho North.
Mining engineers have often been
puzzled over tho fact that in most of
the boro holes extending to a depth ap
proaching a thousand feet a marked
deviation was observed, usually direct
ed northward. It seemed Impossible to
drive a bore toward the center of the
earth and prevent It from shooting off
at an angle toward the north pole or
Siberia. A possible explanation of this
remarkable phenomenon Is suggested
by J. S. Curtis In (he Mining World
In consequence of Its rotation In the
earth's magnetic field the shaft and
boring tool become strongly magnet
ized with the south pole pointing up
ward The shaft being very long, (he
poles are not at the extremities, but
some distance from the same The at
traction exerted by the earth's field
upon the north pole of the shaft, situ
ated at the bottom, produces a eurva
lure of the shaft In such direction that
Its convexity Is directed toward the
south, and thus the boring, tool re
eel ecu an Inclination, causing the bore
hole to deviate toward the north. This
deviation iiccummiilates more and
more, In such cases as the deviation
takes place In some other direction
than the usual one the fact Is probubly
attributable to the obliquity of tho
utrata.
Why tho Yorkshiremon Preforrcd Rlc
to Confottl.
"They're clean daft," said a York
shire collier as bo stood watching a
wedding party leaving (he church op
posite. "Fancy chuckln' all that con
fetti abort. It's a crool shame, i culls
it."
"But why?" answered an interested
looker on. "It seems to me a cheap
nnd harmless way of showing friendly
feeling."
"Cheap, mrbbe. but not harmless,
flald the collier gloomily. "Defore con
fetti wor invented there used to bo
enougli rice chucked abart here to sat
isfy the appetites of nil my pidgins, but
now they're plnln' nway, nu' I'm
tblnkln' o' maklu' em Inter plea an'
sttfrdn' (o keep os(rlches, which can
cut owt even bits o' colored paper nn'
thrive on It!" Ideas.
Kindness to tho Doomed.
For one ho young his knowledge was
extensive in the extreme. All things
that came to his baud he read novels,
newspapers and treatises.
"Father." he said. "1 hear Uncle Os
car is going to bo married on Friday."
"Yes," said his father. "Uncle Oscar
has only three days more."
The little boy sighed. "The last
three days, father." he said, "they
give them everything to eat they ask
for. don't they?" New York Mull.
His Last Resource.
Sherlock nolmcs felt that he was
groping in the dark. For once his In
tuition had failed him. He was in n
mental cul-de-sac with no opening nny
where. Besides, he had broken his lest
hypodermic syringe.
"Watson," he said, turning impa
tiently to the doctor, "you wrote the
er scenario of this thing. What do 1
do next?" Chicago Tribune.
Toilet Requisites For All.
Young Lady Art Student (entering n
ten cent store) Do you keep camel's
hair brushes?
Salesman (aside) Ikle, bring up dose
Hon brushes dat we ordered for do cir
cus people. (To lady) And, madam,
vould you like a toothbrush?
Art Student (indignnntly) What for?
Salesman For de camel!" Life.
So to Speak.
"See here," exclaimed the customs of
ficer angrily, "you said these trunks
contained nothing but wearing apparel.
What do you call these botdes of
whisky?"
"Well, you see," replied (be lady,
who was never at a loss for words,
"those are my husband's nightcaps."
London Telegraph.
Considerate.
"Jim," sold the honest coal dealer to
one of his men "Jim. make (hat ton of
coal 200 pounds short. It's for a poor,
delicate wIdow, aud she will have to
curry all of it up two flights of stairs.
I don't waut (o overtax her s(reng(h."
Tit-Bits.
A Friend.
"I saw a friend of yours the other
day."
"Did you? Who was he?"
"Pulllngton. He was telling us how
be picked you out of the gutter nnd set
you on your feet." Chicago Record-Herald.
Judge For Yourself.
Out of seventy-five presidents of rail
roads more than 40 per cent are college
graduates, said a lecturer at the Uni
versity of Missouri (he odier day. His
(heme was "Are College S(uden(s
Fools?" Linneus (Mo.) Bulletin.
Scornful Rejoinder.
"What you want, I suppose, is to
vote, Just like the men do."
"Certainly not," replied Mrs. Baring
Banners. "If we couldn't do any bet
ter than that there would be no use of
our voting." Washington Star.
Success.
"That fellow hadn't sense enough to
support himself."
"Yes, he hud. no married n rich
widow." Baltimore American.
Self Convicted.
"What you got there, auntie?"
"Your little brother."
"Oo, he is a fibber j 1 haven't got
one!" Punch.
Sherlook Holmes.
"Drowned! Evidently the poor fel
low couldn't swlm."-St. Louis Times.
A Qet-rich-quick Office,
A name Inscribed on frosteil glass,
A type machine, on uuburn laaa,
A roll top desk, u telephone
Ouch nxturus ulvo u pheletonu
-Buffalo Nqwj,
ITEMS OF INTEREST
FOR HALE A house and four lots
for less than cost on north side of Mad
ras. The house ib Well built but not
quite finished, the lots arc 50x100.
Must be sold at once. For information
write Ora Van Tassel, Vanora, Ore.
jy 20-tf
FARM LOANS OajLasSta!Oai.
FOU SALE At the Pioneer OlHce
Iy-Ki.1 HUnks of nil kinds; Carbon
and Typewriter papor, Installment
Sale contract,", hu-b m
MONEY TO LOAN ON FARMS. See
Mhmmh awn) mm
TO LOAN Money on deeded land.
Inquire of II. W. Turner.
fdLO A N-50, 000. 00 on farm lands.
Sec Brenton Jones, Metolius, Ore.
Just Arrived Another car-load of
red desert Juniper wood. Will deliver
either cut in stove lengths or four feet.
For sale by Ashley & Ashley.
Just arrived at the Tum-A-Lum Lum
ber yard, a car load of old fashioned
maple wood. Call and look it over be
fore buying. Wm. Esselstyn, Man
ager. d28-tf
FOR SALE-S. C. Brown Leghorns,
heavy layers; 600 farm raised. Trios,
$8.50; Cockerels, $5.00; Eggs, $2.00 per
15, $9.00 per 100; Baby chicks, $15.00
per 100. Primrose Poultry Plant, James
Ireland, 414 Spalding Building, Port
land, Oregon. jll-4t-a
1912 CATALOG
Mailed Free
AND BUILD IT FOR LESS MONEY
Buy the millwoik dittS from our big factory
for one-third to half of what you would pay
your local dealer. We operate our own mill
and can guarantee every piece we make to be
well-made and of choicefi kiln-dried lumber.
0. B. WILLIAMS' SASH and DOORS
5-panel doori, 15 sizes, $1.30. Craftsman
bungalow doori, $1.60. Bungalow frnt
doors. $5 end $6. Inside
trim, 10 pes. to a set, 80c.
Q VCe idl anybody for caih. hip
anywhere, guarantee safe deliv
ery. Write for cataloa Free.
PROFESSIONAL CARDS'.
E. Berclahd
Attorney At Law
MADRAS,
w.
H. SNOOK
PHYSICIAN & SURGEON:
Office In Drug Store.
OREGON
Vf ADKA8
Q C. C0LLVEB
NOTARY PUBLIC
Justice of the Peaoo
CULVER PRECINCT
CULVER
OREGON
LEWIS H. IRVINC p. T. ATKINS
ATTORNEYS AT LAW
INSURANCE
OfBce of D. W. Barnett.
MADRAS, OREGON
QRA VAN TASSEL
NOTARY PUBLIC
INSURANCE
VANORA, OREGON
J) W. BARNETT
NOTARY PUBLIC
FOR OREGON
Collections a Specialty.
Madras, Oregon
P. MYERS
LAWYER
CULVER JUNCTION,
OREGON
Practice in all courts and Department
of the Interior.
John T. Rosa
D. L. Wylde B. F. Wylde
CROOK COUNTY ABSTACT CO,
INCORPORATED
Complete tract Index to all land and
town lots in Crook county. Abstracts
made accurately ou short notice.
PRI NEVILLE,
OREGON
HOWARD W. TURNER
U. S. COMMISSIONER
NOTARY PUBLIC
INSURANCE
MADRAS ORKdON
European Plan Newly Furnished Throughout
McTAGG
ART HOTEL
sst Service Possible Given To
The Public
Auto Service to All Points of Interest!
MADRAS,
OREGON
Columbia
River Bridge at Celilo
Opened January 7th
Prom January 7th, ,1912 the wonderful bridge of the Oregon
Trunk Railway across the Columbia River at Celilo Falls will be in
service and
TRAINS RUN THROUGH via
Oregon Trunk Ry.
. Between
Central Oregon-Portland
FASTER TIME
Train leaving Madras 8:39 a. m.. will arrivp nt pn-tinj c on
P m instead of 6:00 p. m.; dtaS
through train for Spokane, St. Paul and Chicago auDndffe Itn
1, mTlnegadPOo?6l89:5lf,a- m" traln w, arriv? at Madras 5:38
CaliSf Sld throUgh t0 P0ints in the East Northwest and
Details will be furnished on request.
W. E. COMAN j i hovhad
Gen'l Freight and Passenger Agt. J J' Aent R
Portland, Ore. Mo ,AgenX
Madras, Ore,