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About The Madras pioneer. (Madras, Crook County, Or.) 1904-current | View Entire Issue (April 28, 1910)
NE5I1 lUUiJMUS I ll 1 I ll.lfl BJJllyA X 1 1 ii i i Ttnnrl mill liu . . Officials In If light. IUIU0 j ML.Ionnrlos Floe In Boats u i - Eight Rofugos Drown. 1 MADRA HOOD. CUV. . ai i. n' Jdcnt :Mn vtnnu i.iu flIll"IUIII n . Jworo u,( Wvnn vet n section ol : iinmDfl. nix LiiuuDiiiiu II ui i wv . . nnu ii , : i . r Af nnan I ) r f 1 1 j - : L. :i i liiu I ,1 Vin rlntrfl. JIU. U i. Anrii 13. whon tno a nnlori thQ rlCO (10- A enptnin of polico was wounu- VIIIK " - ... wnatnrn nniiT. x uuua" crowded around him ana niB ae ... i i... .ifria nfrc-( tn fico to .' rru . Atnra fnllnWnri find - 11 Irnt .n. ..!,. .if thi Hinmr bunco n Illl 111 W lllk Ul T " it Thn r.hinpRn In- mission nnd the Norwegian ana ollc missions were burned. Tho r ..fn.i A nal nrr Anr!l I llIILlaIUiblKlM . . . - - - ITIlBSlUIIB Hviu uvuv.vj I " The missionaries attached to tho rican Episcopal Missionary nl c, the United Evangelical chUrch ho wcfl evnn nnu xaiu hciciiwouj, berinir 41 In all, took rciugo in a Thnv lnf t till tncir CILUCU3. ... . t rw i . i if-.. ..II friYr nrrtn. ! UI'HLriJULlUll Ul fill AlfclM" 11' including the Japanese consulate the British warehouses, loiiowcu. fate of the Standard Oil company's V'L'iL'uu.'u uii no iu uiintiwiiiii . f .. a u I. .... Al f nv ilinn 00. ght Germans attached to tho Llcb- Lie began, and they fled tho city to kow in a junk without lights. were run down by the British rt says that the men drowned wore 1 ... A 1 ! rt of this. 1 ft M P . llfl Yearly Chango of Rcsidonce. up stakes and migrate to some unuiuiun iliilj iiiuviiiir vim iiijiii iiilii a move on v on Mnv 1. i mn vonr tlnte I nl In nn Sun nv nnri nn nil "K vim pcopic arc memucrs oi evervthtntr. !- il l m h mm nn inr r nunrtr rnn rt i. 111111 ttr ...i mi . . .. n . - via m 7 I services of a van. In addition no moving rover, peculiar to Chi- u aiuiii iiiiii mil. in iinnrnni rtnr n ""I "TWIHW WJL fV iUl II) LT. 11VG nir rhO mnnln a m a nnn - HlbWIf nn nnrti fnita ... t 11 r .. flnhrtll t,nn, ... I 1 .1 1- i. . w uvu viiUU themselves In a worse community n innt inhiu l. . . 1 r l r x it .HViY lliX b i UL LI1UV uvcry year. Wallaco Mansion Burns. I.AIIlkil .1 11V 1 . . . --. iu wuuKU I IIIIUUU On Vnn Nona niionim ...Ul.t. V1..IWI., UibVl i:aiiiiiiinin 11 mi c inni u Ann 41 . t m . . - -w uunuiiiL' Miiiinrnn t y n imhh K r tr r 1.:. l TV -"ouiur papers ana mm U1B wiio's drcsscfl, Y",wuu, wuro ournca. Tho wiuir wuH vfimnrf o irir nnn Lltrhtnlntr MU. "t"'Vwi iruBHian aaxonv. April ino bal onn noil ns tho UL'll f Wini I. l j . l" wjn great force near thq vlll niro -.-.vi.tuBiu-nBon, about 20 miles iiiwpnr rtt- ii'i 1 . .. wv U1 uinviiaacil. in n thiinrW in rr:'u "?.w 01 lour men woro rm. 'ri... . ' Eleon 1 " """iKIll linn Bonn flrlftnl into n ni nH .. i . " .""- oiurm. It H nnfliimr.,1 If UCK 111. . ----- was nlr'ni ,,ininF und that tho gas ' no onvclopo Wfla in 1 tatters Ballnln 1 " 1 1 wiu in 111 n n frvcDUrtr. Til a.i ,n .. 1 -u vi;nr nm 1 UUDUIIH I Tnnm nn 1 almost II f.n, ... " 1-i-wiVVl uull dur - uuiiio with n Ht T .. x y. Hn 1 v "uuul mum to heart - - ULLinip nml -11 1 taking - UJia IQWard first l.ncm " "JUry Was nmniiAl.J .' cor flold m amnn T -"'"" " tofaB;iHV,",5P.c.wton- vcr- v" ueain waa VtKT fir: Scan Oioir of i. in in roturned. THREE MASKED MEN ROB CALIFORNIA TRAIN. Bcnicin, Ca! April 18 After loot ing tho mall and baggage cars of over land train No. 1, between this nlaco and Goodyear, at 12:30 o'clock this morning, three masked men, who es caped on tho ongino of tho train to Suisun bay aro being pursued bv a sheriff's posse, through bayous in a steam launch. Tho robbers had planned tho hold-un cnrofully and had a boat secrotcd in tho marshes whon thoy abandoned tho ongino at Cygnus. Tho train was stonncd bv n antcrn Bignnl as it slowed down on tho ap proach to Goodyear. As tho engine camo to n Btop, two men leaped aboard, ono from each side, and cover ed tho engineer with revolvers. An Instant later tho third appeared nnd covered tho fireman. Ono of tho men stood guard over tho cnglncor nnd fireman while tho other two entered tho express car. No estimate of tho amount taken can bo had, but it is bcllovcd that tho robbery nottcd several hundred dol lars. There were ton coaches in tho train, and the robbers locked each ono as thoy passed through, leaving tho passengers captlvo while they rifled tho othor cars. After completing tho work thoy re turned to tho engine, where their com panion still stood guard over tho train men, nnd ordered tho engineer to un couple tho engine. Ho was then or dered, with tho fireman, to "beat it," and as the men ran back toward the rcac of tho train, ono of tho robbers pulled tho throttlo wide open and the engine shot at top speed through Good year. A posBc.was quickly organized at Goodyear and Bcnccia and a short time later tho abandoned ongino was found a few miles farther ahead at Suisun bay. A rancher living nearby had Been three men and it was learned a Bhort time later that tho men had es- caped in a launch. WARSHIPS WARN JAPAN. Britlsh Journal Soc Hidden Mean ing in Voyngo of Squadron. London, April 18. Whilo ono sec tion of European opinion urges Mr. Roosevelt to discuss with William and Edward an international understanding for tho limitation of armaments, an other cynically suggests that, if they will bring tho matter up for his con sideration, more may be accomplished. The implication Is, as one prominent journal sees the situation, that Mr. Roosevelt has done as much as cither of tho monarchs to sitmulato the ap petite for fleets. Interest in this matter is heightened by Washington dispatches today that foreshadow another around-tho-world cruise by American battleships, these vessels heading cast from Hampton Roods instood of south. "If tho cruise is taken," comments ono week-end observer, "any tyro will bo able to see the connection between it and tho readjustments of the Wash-ington-Tokio treaty and that famous final clause of article II. "There is going to bo tension be tween tho United States and Japan when tho latter presses for the privil eges of naturalization and suffrage, not to mention easier immigration conditions, and Undo Sam recalls tho pacifying influence of his war dogs two years niro." Hone is expressed that at the New York dinner to Lord Kitchener, who is thought to have "made a hit with tho Amor cans by telling tho Austral ians to found a military school liko West Point." the guest will emphasize the value of a "lasting entente be tween our fleet and theirs." Kitchener at Academy. WcBt Point, N. Y., April 18. At his own request tho visit of Field Marshal Lord Kitchener here today was unmarked bv ceremony. After a luncheon at tho residence of Colonel Hugh L, Scott, tho superintendent, ho noflsed tho afternoon viewing tho aca demy and studying its methods. Lord Kitchener camo hero accompanied by W. Butler Duncan. Jr., of New York, and was mot by Superintendent Scott at tho railroad station. Tho visitor watched tho usual inspection and ro view of tho cadot corps. . "Slamoso" Twins from Philippines. San Francisco. April 18. Two Sn mar twins, joined togethor by tho merest ligament, and who promise to bo rivals for tho famo gained by tho Siamese twinB, aro in San Francisco today. Tho two children, both, boys, arrived hero yesterday from tho Philip pines, in chargo of R. L. Louis, who will exhibit them throughout tho United States. Tho infants seem to got along poacoably, although thoy occasionally have a Bpat. Operators Will Arbitrate. WfiHhlnirton. Anril 18. Tho Bitua tion which has threatened a atrlko of tolfiornnhorfl on tho Southern railwny bus been compromised. Chairman Martin A. Knapp, of tho Interstnto flnmmnrcfl commission, said today all disputed points oxcept tho question of wnffcs and roprcsontntton navo ueen Bottled. Those will bo arbitrated un dor tho Erdman act. Eight Nlghtrlders Fined. Cincinnati, April 18. Eight of tho nllofri(l nlrrhtrldora of Grant COUntV. Kentucky, on trial in tho United States DiBtrict court at uovington, ivy., woro found truiltv bv n Jury today. Throo othora wero acquitted. Fines ranging from $100 to $1,000 wero as sessed by Judge Cochran, wno roioasea tho mon on tholr own recognizance, pending on appeal. BRIEF REPORT OF WORK OF NATION'S LAWMAKERS Washington, April 22, Beginning ts session at 11 o'clock today in an cntanglomont over tho questions of a quorum, tho senato adjourned a few minutes before 5 o'clock, when It was unablo to muster enough members to continuo business. Tho debate on tho section of tho bill permitting tho railroads to enter into traffic agreements continued through out tho afternoon, the principnl partic- pants belne . Senator Crawford. Sutherland, Clapp, Elkins, Cummins and Carter. For the most part the controversy partook of what to a layman would be considered hairsplitting, tho chief con tention being whether tho provision in the Crawford amendment making agreements "subject to tho approval of tho Interstate Commerce commis sion" has tho effect of requiring this approval before the agreements take effect. After the pros and cons of this ques tion had been presented at some length it appeared for a few moments as though a vote might be obtained. Tho ayes and noes had been ordered when Senator Dollivcr expressed a de sire to be heard on the amendment. He did not want to proceed at so late an hour and Borne friendly senator raised tho point of no quorum. Ihe Dixon long and short haul amendment to the Elkins interstate commerce bill now before the senate will probably bo defeated because the lumber senators, who at first glanco were inclined to favor this provision, have become convinced that Coast ter minal rates should not be robbed of advantages that come to them by rea son of their water competition. Washington, April 21. Traffic agreements consumed the entire time given by the senate today to the rail road bill and they wero under consid eration when the senate adjourned. Senator Cummins held the floor throughout! He spoke against the section permitting such agreements and against the Crawford substitute for it. Declaring his intention of denounc ing any legislation that nullified the anti-trust law, as this provision did, he said that the utlimate purpose of the legislation was to allow the rail roads to fix their own rates without first submitting them to the Interstate Commerce commission. Without the establishment of rates any traffic agreement must be vague and of little effect- Mr. Elkins Bald Mr. Cummins' con tention for approval of rates in ad vance was impracticable and absurd. He said that from 8,000 to 10,000 people were now employed by the rail road companies in establishing rates and he asserted that the Interstate commerce commission must have great forces of experts to .carry out Mr. Cummins' idea. "I am not ready to stand here and destroy the entire freight traffic struc ture of the railroads," he said, "and I don't believe that the people demand we should do so." He said he did not want tho anti trust law repealed, but he did desire to assist in relieving the executive offi cials of the embarrassment they find themselves under enforcing the law. The extent of the Guggenheim con trol of transportation and mineral in terests in Alaska was discussed by Delegate Wickersham today before the house committee on territories, in con nection with a hearing on bills that would provide for Federal guarantee of bonds issued by the Alaska railroads. Washington, April 20. In his maid en speech in the senate, delivered to day on the railroad bill, benator Fur cell, of North Dakota, sharply criti cised tho president and the attorney general. He practically charged a purpose of bo transforming the bu preme court as to insure such construc tion of the proposed law as to supplant and nullify antagonistic state mws and state constitutions. He was dealing with the merger provision of tho bill, and having stated that tho North Dakota state constltu tion prohibited tho consolidation of railroad lines, ho contended that under decisions of the Supreme court it had been hold that questions of this charac ter wero subject to state control. Tho Pickett conservation bill, auth orizing tho president to make with drawals of public lands for purposes of conservation, was passed by tho house today. No record vote was taken, tho final pasBago of the bill being unani mous. As passed, tho bill is practically in tho form it was introduced by Mr. Pickett, of Iowa, it being stnted that in that form it had had tho approval of tho president. Under its terms the president is authorized to withdraw from location public lands for public uses, and for examination and classiu cation to determine their character and value. These withdrawals, tho bill provides, aro to remain in forco until revoked by the president or oy con Tho battlo botweon the butter and i.lHnMnMivnwinn tntniiAofo linrrnn in onn. gress today whon the house committeo on agriculture held its initial hearing Means Reorganization of Senate, Washington, April 21. Tho retire ment of Senator Nelson W. Aldrich at the closo of his term in 1911 means tho comploto reorganization of tho senate, according to some loaders. Tho insur gents aro highly pleased; tho "old guard" members aro clearly disconcert ed. Tho insurgents beliovo that there is a chance that tho balance of power may pass into their hands and that tho "regulars" will loso thoir grip on tho senate machine. THE DAILY on ponding bills. Representatives Burleson, of Texas, and Lever, of South Carolina, both authors of proposed remedial legisla tion In favor of the oleomargarine pro duct, advocated their measures. Mr. Burleson urged repealing the tax on oleomargarine and dairy pro ducts and substituting an annual li cense for manufacturers. Washington April 19. The an nouncement of tho prospective retire ment of Senator Hale from tho senate, following so closely on a similar an nouncement regarding Senator Aldrich, seemed to have a stunning effect on the senate. That the oldest of the senators in point of service should vol untarily decide to retire from that body was scarcely less of a Burpnsc than that the recognized leader should have decided upon a similar step. Most of the senators declined to make any comment. Mr. Halo was in the senate building early in the day, but kept aloof from other senators and from vis itors generally. "Who will be the leader of the sen ate now?" was asked of Senator Dol liver. "I suppose the mantle of the leader ship will be deposited in the Smithson ian Institution, together with other relics of a discarded and abandoned system," replied the Iowa sensor. As he was leaving tho White House Speaker Cannon was asked if the re tirement of Senator Aldrich and Sena tor Hale would have any influence on him or other members of the house. He declared that the senators had been influenced wholly by considerations of health. Politics, he believed, did not enter into their determination. The river and harbor bill, carrying an appropriation of about $52,600,000, was passed by the senate today. There were no material amendments but there was considerable debate over various provisions. The house military committee, at the conclusion of a hearing today, was on the verge of favorably reporting Senator Jones' bill directing the sale of the Walla Walla military reserva tion to Whitman college at $150 an acre, when the chairman received a telegram, signed by John Ankeny and one Johnson, of Walla Walla, offering to buy the reservation at $300 per acre. Washington, April 18. Swept along on a flood of sharp questions as to his authority for charging members of congress and newspapers with being corruptly influenced, John M. Maxwell, former editor of the American Flag, the organ of the Merchant Marine league, today refused point blank to answer questions on his source of in formation. The interrogatories again will be put to him at a special session of the house special committee tomorrow, and unless he changes his mind the atti tude of the witness will be reported to the house. Prodded by counsel for a member of contnress accused by the league. Max well, without counsel and on the ground of editorial privileges, justified his re plies, parried or declined to answer the queries. Speaker Cannon today was sustained by the house by a vote of 120 to 162 on the question as to whether a resolution declaring that the refusal of the speak er to ascertain the presence of a quor um at the beginning of each day's ses sion was in violation of the rules, was privileged. The Warren irrigation bill, which -passed the senate last week, was to day referred to the sub-committee 01 the house committee on irrigation, with instructions to report next Fri day. Senator Aldrich authorized the an nounccment tonight that he would not be a candidate for re-election to the senate and that he would positively re tire at the expiration of his present term on March 3, 1911. Washiwrton, April 16. President Taft today informed Senator Jones that ho believed the house of represent atives, before adjournment, would pass tho $30,000,000 irrigation bill that is now before the ways and means committee. The president further said that, in asmuch as congress has begun to take an interest in his other conservation bills, ho was now doing everything within his power to bring about the final passage of the $30,000,000 bill, which he regards as ono of tho most essential features of his conservation nrocrramme. Senator Jones conferred with tho president on behalf of the Western senatora to learn the views of the president with regard to the proposal recently made to attach tno $au,uuu, 000 bill to the rivers and harbors bill as a rider. The president concurred in Jones' opinion that this move would bo inad visable, as there .are men in congress opposed to both measures, and by com bining forces thoy might defeat them. Moreover, tho president said, he be lieved it will not be necessary to make tho irrigation bill a rider on any other measure. Appalachian Bill Reported. Washington. April 20. Tho bil creating tho Southern Appalachian and White Mountain forest reservo was fa voroblv reported today from the com mitteo on agriculture in tho house. The purpose of tho bill Ib to preserve watersheds by conservation of trees and reforestation whero necessary, Tho bill is designed to conservo navi gable rivers, but tho first application contemplated is to tho lorest resorvo mentioned. ANCIENTS SURPASSED US. Uanr Scoretn They Poieod Aro Jjont to Modern Tlmo. Manv Rocrets tho ancients nosscssod are lost to modern times and many things thoy did cannot bo equaled to day. Thousands of years ago tno Egyptians used to embalm the bodies of their dead kingB and nobility so perfectly that tho bodies are in won derful preservation to-day, as may be seen at tho British museum. Clever as we' are In this age, wo cannot do tho same. The valuable secret is lost, nnd mndfirn science cannot recover the iost knowledge. Bodies embalmed now adays will not bo preserved for more timn n fftw vnnrfl at most: very many cf the bodies of Egyptians embalmed before the birth of Christ aro still so perfect that the lines of the faces are marked as clearly as when they wero first embalmed. Shoffleld turns out tho finest, hard est and most porfect steel tho world produces, but Sheffield cannot produce a sword blade to compare wltn tnose tho Saracens made ami used hundreds of years ago, and the Saracens never possessed tho machinery we have, nor had the advantage of knowing bo mtifth nhout metals as we aro supposed to know. A huge fortune awaits the man who discovers the secret which enabled tho Saracens to make sword blades so keon and hard that they would cut In two most of the swords used In our army to-day. Thnrn are a dozen different motnoas of making artificial diamonds, but hone of the stones produced by tnese mnthodB can compare with those mado of old French paste, tho secret of which Is lost. So perfect were paste diamonds that It was difficult for even a narson with expert knowledge of diamonds to tell that they were arti ficially produced, whereas most of the mndnm artificial diamonds' can bo do- tectpA fiaallv. and their durability is nothing like so great as the old paste Unmnnd. Prohahlv not one out of every ten thousand buildings standing in all parts of the world and built by modern masons will be standing 500 years hence. We do not know how to put stones and bricks togetner aa tne an plants did. and conseauently the build lng we raise nowadays will be in ruins whon thf? ancient buildings In Greece and Italy, which were built thousands nf veam atro. are in as good condition as they are now. The secret Is not In the bricks or stone, but In the cement and mortar, neither of which esson tlals can wo make as the ancients mada them. nhemlstrv. one might Imagine, ie tho science which has made the great PRt strides In the last five or six d& cades. Yet modern chemlBts cannot comnound such dyes as were common ly used when the great nations of to- dav were still unborn. Now and acaln It haDDens that searchers after antiquities come across fragments of fabrics which were dyed tnousands 01 years ago, and they are astonished by tho won derful richness of the colors nf the cloths, which, despite their age are brighter and purer than anything we can nroduce. Modern artists buy their colors ready made and spend large sums of money on pigments with which to color their canvasses. The pictures of modern artists will be colorless whon many of the works of ancient masters are as brieht as they are to-day. Just as the secret of dyeing has been lost, Rn has the secret of preserving the col nrs nf artists' oalnts. Yet the secret was known to every ancient artist, for hey all mixed their own colors. COUNSELS SON BY WIRELESS. Marconi Connection llctvreen Fatlie and Boy at College. "10:20 p. m. Joe. what are you studying now? Don't forget your French. Good night. DAD. This messaee. or one somewhat like it. tho Philadelphia Bulletin asserts, Is likely to be roaming about the at mosphere by wireless any evening. At present It Is likely to bo transmitted nnlv bv Dr. Walter Webb of Sharon Hill to his son, Joseph S. Webb, a freshman at Swarthmore College. The finer details of this minute-by minute parental guidance were com- nleted recently when a receiving sta tion was Installed in young Webb's rnnm In Wharton Hall, the boy's dor mltory at Swarthmore College. He and his father have had a station at their homo for some time and they have Installed one at college so that the son will not grow rusty In ban dllnc the key. Tho beauty of the scheme Is seen after a little thought. Suppose the young man writes home that, owing to tho press of studies, he will not be ahlo to visit tho old folks ovor Sun day, Then on Monday his father clicks out a message Inquiring wheth er .Too had received one which was sent the previous day. What excuse ponld be offered? nf course, this Is not likely In this nnrtirular case, because Webb Is a diligent student and does what ho says ho Intends to do. But when the .-.rnptlce of having wireless stations at all homes and all schools is common what, will tho average boy do? At nresont Josenh Webb, at school. hna nnlv a receiving Btatlon. Dr. Webb can counsel and admonish hku to hU heart's content and there will be no 'hnolr talk." And so It may go on. Inventive fathers may devise a thousand and one ways of keoplng the son at college up to scratch, wnen suca nomo and school connection becomes general It Is hard to say how unbearable a col lege boy's life will become. Take a good watch to a pawnbroker nnd see how quickly the time passes Ministers and divorce Judges are kept busy revising tho marrlaee lists. Wind," wrote a little boy in Ma composition at school, "Is air when It gets In a hurry." "I never worry or hurry." "What department of tho government Bervico aro you In?" Buffalo Express. Miss Prim I want a husband who will be easily, pleased. Miss Grouch That's the kind you'll get. Life. Mrs. Benhom You have torn my train! Benham That's all right; your your train Is long enough to be In two soctlons. Judge. Howard Bridget, did my wife como In a few moments ago? Bridget No, sir. That's tho parrot you hear a-hol- lerln'. Harper's Bazar. "Doctor, how do you account for tho existence of rheumatism?" "The mind, my dear, evolved the disease to fit tho word." Chicago Tribune. "Which is the harder to write, verse or Jokes?" "Verae comes easier, re plied the press humorist. "You have to have an idea for a Joke." Shopman (to boy who has asked for a penn'orth of pills) Do you want them in a box? Boy Yuss, 0' course. Think I'm goln' to roll 'em homo? Punch. "Were you ever In love?" asked the sweet young thing. "No," replied the bachelor, "but you can't mention any other fashionable disease that I have not had." Teacher- Jimmy, you look very pale this morning. Are you 111? Jimmy No, ma'am. Ma washed my face this morning herself. Woman's Home Companion. Fanner (at the grindstone) Well, why don't yer turn? City Nephew Nix! Ye don't fool me ag'In. When ever I turn, ye go and bear down, with the ax! Life. "How shall I break the news to my parents that I have failed in my ex ams?" "Merely telegraph them: Ex amination over. Nothing newl" FUegende Blaetter. "There's a masked man at the back door." "Horrors! Ib he after my dia monds?" "No, madam. He only want to borrow a can of gasoline." Louis ville Courier Journal. "Why don't you get an automobile?" "I don't know whether I could manage one or not." "A poor argument. You took the same chance, didn't you, when you acquired a wife?" The Poet Poetry should be written on one Bide of the paper, shouldn't It? The Editor That depends on the poetry; lots of It shouldn't be written on either side. Philadelphia Record. "A man ought to be a good mechan ic in order to get satisfactory results from an automobile." "Yes," answered Mr. Chugglns, "but It's still better to bo a good financier." Washington Star. Poet's Wife My hUBband read this poem at a public celebration before thousands of people. Alas! it was the lost poem he ever wrote. Publisher Did they lynch him or shoot him? Leslie's Weekly. "Ever been locked up?" demanded counsel. "I have been," admlted tho witness. "Aha! And what had yon been doing to get yourself locked up? "I had been doing Jury duty." Louis ville Courier-Journal. MIsb Elder The Idea of his pretend ing that my hair was gray! Miss Pep pery Ridiculous! Miss Elder Wasn't It, though? Miss Peppery Yes, Just as if you'd buy gray hair! Catholic Standard and Times. The Doctor Mrs. Murphy, you must be at your husband's side continuous ly, as you will need to hand him some thing every lltte while. Mrs. Murphy Nlver, doctor! Fur be It from mo to hit a man whin he's down! Puck. "I thought I ordered quail!" "Dat's quail, Buh." "Quail nothing! That's chicken!" "It was chicken, sub, but it seed me a-comln'." "What has that to do with it?" "De Bight of a cullud pussol always makes a chicken quail, sub.!" Father Bobby, I'm surprised to see you crying because a bee stung you. Brace up and act like a man. Bobby Y-yes; an' then y-you'd gimme a llckln'. Y-you told me w-what you'd do to me If you e-ever heard mo u-usln that kind of 1-language. "How can I tell," asked the cus tomer, "whether I am getting tender meat or not?" "There's only one Buro way, ma'am," said the butcher, "an' that's by eatln' of It" "But I have to buy It before I can do that." 'Yes'm; that's the beauty of the prescription." Guardian You say you are going to marry a man In order to reform him. That is very noble of you. May I ask who It Is? Ward It's Mr. Oolbyrd. Guardian Indeed? I wasn't aware that ho had any bad habits. Wnrd Yes. His friends say that ho is bo coming quite miserly. London Sketch. "Little boy," asks tho well-meaning reformer, "Is that your mamma over yonder with the beautiful sot of furs?" "Yes, sir," answers the bright lad. "Well, do you know what poor animal It 1b that had to suffer In order that your mamma might have tho furs with, which she adorns horeelf so proudly? 'Yes, Blr my papa." B. C. Saturday; Sunset. "When I waa onco in danger from a lion," Bald an old African explorer, "I tried sitting down and staring at him, as I had no weapons." "How did it work?" aaked hlB companion. "Per fectly. Tho Hon didn't evon offer to touch me." "Strangol How do you account for it?" "Well, sometimes I've thought it was because 1 sat down on branch of a vry tall tres, 1