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About The Madras pioneer. (Madras, Crook County, Or.) 1904-current | View Entire Issue (Jan. 4, 1906)
The Laxative op . ar ... 1 1111 VM I1IIIIU11U lliin 11111 1111 NUIIIIm if rll J. " Mtlfl IlflM UPfill TT1IKIO lirtflrft Iilc lfy ofPu?.nrvWon for ovor 30 yeiirH. Allow no ono itnv""i Vnll 111 linn ..wwjir uiiu a deceive 3"" i,utBxporimcntH, und cmlitnrror tho (Jiit'sffl,iroii--l!Jxpcrlonco RffiiiiiHt JSxporiineiit. t (T A CTH D I A almrmless Btibstltuto for CuHlor Oil, lnro storlflj.8 ? ''"A HootliluK. SyriinB. It i PlcuKiint. ' It i, jnorpiiino nor otiior Narcotic S,0B0UlldS lSSacciv-Tlio Mother's Friend. i. a inn vii i iiMVM uiuviiux milium nonfa f Tin filfrnatllffl of AJUlv w Q In Use For Over 30 Years. TMICINT4U COMMHT. TT MUHWaT TflltT. HrWVC CITY. n...tn ihn Farmer. a reached ft crisis which ,i.i.nnr nannor uu '- " ;,n, where ho undertook all Jwighfarm labor, from an - Bftio plowing, a. -- fcOwCveii .it.rAArv in IiIm nmnlovors. PI I4Ut"v- J - - - . - too fond of mounting u "'I fetd nd "practicing poiemicn ciberfurm hands, ondthero woo , .rnfertaliln nliOIlt ft nlOW injf uuvvm"""" - ikoieid it he lolloweu mo wnm, .,..t.(r(rf!it. li in furrows mil. tncticei were Irritating, n not 1 II lm at ftl I ... .ui arm initrii in m nuii itorr about a farmer who found tired man" lying In a lioiu bo- i;.mJ rlrpiied In his not loo M,., -- oft pitchfork In his band. i ... .,..,H9 ltimifrw. .11 ...ll.mn . . f It . uoiinni i rn iniMvinrr ' ID Bib ICftUIUKs BiMHjiti) JT!Mln Ma wnriflnrflll ftVftft ntniffAi of hit book. imiaiUred at tho speaker aami In nttpr nmnznment. ubiMfKM on slinklni? Ills head. n . . i rr fflll.- lr I rrwencK tievor jiiii b iin IhLifjer" in tho January Cuu- Kicp(ton. hindering inlnstrd mnn ftff fhft .rnmrnnilnf Inn nml im. tk oldest Inhabitant, who wiih on i nan Keg ciiowing a piece erery one is acquainted in " VAnttiPAl r ti a iTiltiot f n n ivutuiiu lliV llilllOit LI MIUII. 'Htkt that there ain't to many jouipil I daro say they arc B7wuj m wwn Is a gossip but uurno uou, i oei no is con AO. Isn't that wliv tin "r Itntircr: D.in dnn'f rrnoot.. t, - f ftv'lllf uviu uvau u iiiuuui. Faat KcaaaoKntlon. In the days of tho first suttlcrs In tha Chickasaw country, whun Dory Crock- ett still frequented tho Dig Hatchle, "Old Mnn Olddlna" was a prosperous cltlzon of tlio Forked Deer settlement. Ono day he started on a trip to Ar kansas, and thenceforth for sorcral years Forked Deer know him no mora. Ah travel In Arkansas was danger ous, and ns nothing was heard of Old dins, ho wan olllclally declared dead by tho court, and his estato dlvldod among his heirs. A year or so later, however, ho turned up, and tried to got possession of his proporty again, lie was promptly seized and taken Into court. "What do you mean by coming round here, trying to take tills propor ty?" roared tho court at him. "It's my property," asserted Qld dlns. "Everybody known it's mine." "Not at alii" replied tho Judge. "I'll admit your case seems a hard one, but It can't ho helped now. This court has decided that you aro extluctus de functus, which Is Latin for dead. This court cannot err. Dead you are. If you want any property round here you must take another name and set to work to earn 1L Mr. Sheriff, adjourn tills court, and we will all go and seo that wrestling match you spoko of." A Little Mora Credible. A mnn who had been nhootlng on Cape Cod returned by train, and a stranger who wuh obliged to share his seat entered Into conversation with him, and asked If he had had good sport. "Very good, Indeed," replied the sportsman. "We got one hundred head to two guns." "You don't say sol" ejaculated the stranger, apparently lost In astonish ment at tho nlzo of the bag, "Doublo- barrclcd guns, I supposo?" Ym, Verlljr. To sit upon a Jury Most orory man has fitness, But It takes a skillful lawyer To sit upon a witness. -Pbllndqlphla Press. nr.i j vim i I i vi IlIMt s .. WY HACKED WITH PAIN wrt7 6U?crinff ia equal to that produced by the pain of Rheai I it i . hum UC1U3, vVillCIl CaU5CUU3U15Ca.SC, UCCOIUC 111 m uic innrvi t it i it.. .. . a f e i t i i - wu iulii: m 1 1 II n 1 1 if ntiir tit rt i 11 a iai r rnnr 1 a inr nr. lr't. i " become sore and drawn, the nerves twitch and stiucr. innaine and mvoll 41,. 1 - 4. 1- i in Liii: 17 1 j 11 tin 11 1" 1 117. rvn v 111 11 v triiiiriii. in uuu ui ? W uini v I ri TT1 r' Lr tf 1 Wfi T II nrttN J HIIH1ntlOMI IO VrftT1T fT 7M1 1 fieo litliill ba SJ m w e m w w .-. , Bwmacu troubles, torn d Liver, weak Kldneva nnd a ireneral rAfMitA ..nif.s. iMflfjiAfl t 1 n m I m r nft alffltn.U ' . iviuou luilkiui lliaiWilll ui 1u.iaiiii: kia "u.ure8av(nii.o la tr. 1 . . . ...v.n jj thtdi . . " 10 oour una ionuunc aciu, anuouicracrm mc nnnriMi i..t. 4i. 1.1 1 t .i j t r.4 1 40 60m f rncoa 4 4l ilt I' "i ay be ln the one dav ntwi 1.. 4t.. . r 1... . . ffl1 r? hcr lm 7.milY d nre never niiricrnM... n e . ii. --"itra una lodce- ueP0Sit3 Ineiw..-' .1" " oe stiff c the nniq. tho Joints About flfteon roars atro X had a severe attaok of lthouinatlira and oould not work with any aattsfaotlon. My loir; wero badly iwollon and drawn ao X oould loarooly walk. X tried many rem edioa but oould vet no rellet. X waillii. ally reoommendod to try 8. B. S. and It aoon cured mo sound and well. I am now 71 yeara old and have never had any roturn of the trouble, JOSEPH JfBOMH HAWXEY, Sox 104. Aurora, 111. . Somotimo atro X had Rheumatism and had to quit work, TUo iialni ln my bnok and between my ahouldera waa so In tense I oould not reat or aleep. I tried ovory thins: but nothlnr did mo any good till 1 hoard of and took S. 8. B.Tbla medlolno cured mo sound and well. It purined my blood and made me reel like a now Hiuu. CONRAD Lonn, Anderson. Ind, 183 E. 10th St. n.1 ttVt royable. It mnttem -nurmihft . own k 1. . iihu ,. JOSt t r...j4.. , ,.a1 instead n'f , r affW tho dllfere r" X T.mar.f.i.t. "vu. 4 uu inein wim ine ncius nnu sans 01 uim uienau. - .v. auc com nnu iminniiesH 01 winter uiwuya f.tnV. .f lu" 01 Klieim.ntJo.., 1 i.t. l ..ii.f r..... ).. ""Jinn .. . """Hi mm iiiu suiicrer la iicl rciict uum Mother CI- Pa8 with liniments, oils, lotions, etc., or uses tasto.i. . "-'"cmes. These nre desirnhle hecnuse tliev Elve btyond ti,. bVl lmve 1,0 cct on the real trouble which Is in me reach of such treatment. S. S. S. is the best rem- edy for Rheumatism, 'It goes into the, blood and attacks the disease at Its head, and by neutralizing and driving out the acids and building up the thin, sour blood it cures the disease permanently. While cleansing the blood S. S. S. tones tin tlm ntnmnnil .1 1 rroc t In t1 ntlll rVPfV ttVH. fA,1.. . L" nth nnrf t 41. a ai.ctnftl CnntllQ tllB .11 ' wu L I'l' a , I. I . W V w H I - . ii m.i Liin mnn ... -i . . . i . . tn,.. wuranint.i.. .' - -. v. Sc!ti a,unintiB,M t cures u"s oistrcssing disease, fi, . a. w a K.r. "ltciai ii, vr ' ' t 'uuiuuwi, iU44uii4uvwj . C iril? iou the d,8CMe any medical advice, wlUiou hill LI V 1 1 . - ' uur I flui r? ,,A you Ilun8ryy "Yes, Slam." "Won, como along; I'll Fiji DowntownHow did Milkers, tho architect, become ho poor? Uptown Ho built a house for himself. DrcflHinaker-And would you have Icg-of-mtitton bIgcvcs, madam? Cus tomerMost certainly not. I am a vegetarian! Punch. Toacher Can you tell me tho dif ference between "like" and "lovo?" Small Hoy Yes, ma'am. I llko my father and mother, but I love pie. Conductor Why don't you got up and glvo that lady a Heat? Passenger Sho might uy, "Thank you," and I havo a weak heart. Pittsburg Din patch. Ethel And are you Buro you love me, Oeorgo? George Sure? Ask my boss. Uo hiij'h If I don't stop this dreaming all day long he'll dlschargo me. Puck. "Yes, old man, we're fixing to go to housekeeping; what has been your ex perience with Hcrvont girls?" "Hush! Como over hero where my wife can't hear." Houston Post. "Papa," said Ruth after her first day at school, "I don't want to go to school until I learn more, for to-day tho teacher asked mo ever so many tilings I didn't know." Nell Oh, my! Hero's a telegram fom Jack of the football team. Uoll What docs It ay7 Nell It says: "Noso broken. How do you prefer It set Greek or Roman?" I-'ond Wife You'll think of mo sometimes while you nre away, dear? Fond Hubby Not likely. Didn't tho doctor say I was to go away for my hoalth and avoid all worry? Scraps. Cholly Callow At any rate tho for-tune-teller said I had tlio make-up of a gentleman about mo. Miss Snapper About you? Then why ln tho world don't you put tho make-up on? Chi cago News. "Wonderful thing this eddlcation," snld Uie old man. "In what way?" "In this way: John knows Just enough Latlu, an' Greek, an' French to know nothln' nt all about makln a llvlu'l" Atlanta Constitution. "Haven't you ever thought of going to work?" asked the farmer's wife of Sauntering Sam. "Ycs'm," replied tho veteran tramp; "I thought of It once but I was deelecryus at de time." Cleveland Plain Dealer. Mocks My wlfo called me up on tho phono six times to-day. Weeks What for? Meeks The last five times wero for tho purpose of calling mo down because I didn't answer the first tlmo hIio called me up. Philadelphia Iinjulrcr. "Havo you 'Tho Art of Making Up?" naked tho lady of tho clerk In tho hook store. "I don't think I have, ma'am," replied tlio young man. quarreled with my wlfo a week ago, and I can't get her to say a word to me." Yonkers Statesman. "Seo here!" Bnapped tho landlord, who had responded to tho tenant's hurry call for a plumber, "I thought you said the water ln your cellar was two feet deep. It's only a few Inch es." "Well, that s as deep as my two feot," retorted tho tenant, "oud that's too much." "I don't see what a man wants with two wives!" snorted Mrs. Enpeck, as sho Uirew down a paper containing an account of the Smoot case. "I don't either," said Mr. Enpeck fervently. It must havo been the way ho sulci It that mado Mrs. Enpeck so mad. Lou Isvlllo Courier-Journal. "There uro great things ln store for you," said the fortune-teller to tho young mnn; "but there will bo many obstacles to overcome. Thero Is a woman continually crossing your path, a largo woman with dark hair and eyos. Sho will dog your footsteps un tiringly." "Yes I know who that Is." "Ah, you havo seen her?" "Yes; she'B my washwoman," Milwaukee SentK nel. It was tho wedding day, and tho un- fortunato bridegroom was making his exit with tho usual accompaniment of rlco and old boots. He snatched his hat from a peg, seized an umbrella from the hall stand, and was going out of tho door, when tho hrldo's fath er called after him; "You'vo taken my umbrella, Henry. Bring It hack at .... .... .-1 . 1 ...I.. .... 0UC0. 1 V0 SIX UlUlglUClB, uui uui UHU good umbrella." "Doctor," said tho patlont, "I bo- llovo thoro's something wrong with my stomach." "Not a bit of it," ro- pllcd tho doctor. "God mado your stomach, nnd Ho knows how to mnko stomachs. Thero's something wrong with tho stuff you put into it, maybe, and with tho way you stuff it In and stamp It down; but your stomach la nil right." And immediately tho pa tlont discharged him. Careful of Mother' Health. "narry, did you not hear your motlior calling you?" "Courso I did." "Then why don't you go to her?" "Sho'B nervous, If I Bhould go too quick sho'd drop dead," nnd Harry wont on wiih his playing as If nothing disturbed his mlud. Albany, N. Y Journal. Tho mnn who pays tho hills looks terribly unllko tho whlto-rohed fairy with a wnnd, ln tho story books. mm Wflm m mrm mmmm Wzm WfiWtffli urn ' erjtiv, m Tjft.ipss Mrjs c: Known Quality There are two classes of remedies: those of known qual ity and which are permanently beneficial in effect, acting gently, in harmony with nature, when nature needs assist ance; and another class, composed of preparations of unknown, uncertain and inferior character, acting tempo rarily, but injuriously, as a result of forcing the natural functions unnecessarily. One of the most exceptional of the remedies of known quality and excellence is the ever pleasant Syrup of Figs, manufactured bv the California Fig Syrup Co., which represents the active principles of plants, known to act most beneficially, in a pleasantsyrup, in which the wholesome Californian blue figs are used to con tribute their rich, yet delicate, fruity flavor. It is the remedy of all remedies to sweeten and refresh and cleanse the system gently and naturally, and to assist one in overcoming consti pation and the many ills resulting therefrom. Its active princi ples and quality are known to physicians generally, and the remedy has therefore met with their approval, as well as with the favor of many millions of well informed persons who know of their own personal knowledge and from actual experience that it is a most excellent laxative remedy. We do not claim that it will cure all manner of ills.but recommend it for what it really represents, a laxative remedy of known quality and excellence, containing nothing of an objectionable or injurious character. There are two classes of purchasers: those who are informed as to the quality of what they buy and the reasonsfor the excellence or articles or exceptional merit, and who do not lack courage to go elsewhere when a dealer offers an imitation of any well known article; but, unfortunately, there are some people who do not know, and who allow themselves to be imposed upon. They cannot expect its beneficial effects if they do not get the genuine remedy. To the credit of the druggists of the United States be it said lat nearly all of them value their reputation for professional integrity and the good will of their customers too highly to offer imitations of the Genuine Syrup of Figs manufactured by the California Fig Syrup Co., and in order to buy the genuine article and to get its beneficial effects, one has only to note, when purchasing, the full name of the Company California Fig Syrup Co. plainly printed on the front of every package. Price, 50c per bottle. One size only. General Inutility Boy. Mr. Hobbs looked thoughtfully at his city guest and then looked out of tho window. "When you ask mo If It's true that Jim Manton is the most pop'lar boy I've ever had to 'ten storo and go round with the order wagon," he said, slowly, "why, I'm bound to tell you it's so. But when you go on to ask mo how I think he'd suit down ln Boston, I'm kind of dubious that's what I am, kind of dubious. "You see, It's like this with my busi ness. Order day Is order day, and de livery day Is delivery day, and wheth er It's summer, with thutty-two cus tomers on tho route, or winter, with well, with some less, all Jim's got to do those days is to got over the route by shuttlng-up time. "And he's what you might, call a handy boy, Jim Is. Groceries and hard ware aren't all he's got ln his mind, and he's ready to take hold and help with what's going on wherever ho goes. So I feel kind of dubious when I think of Boston. I don't know as you catch my meaning?" "M-m," said the city man. "I be lieve I do." A Knotty Qneatlon. Pokely I saw a kid watching a ball game through a knothok) to-day and Jokeley Pardon me; that reminds me. When mny a knothole be said to bo not whole? Pokely What on earth are you talking about? Jokley The answer is: "When only part of tho knot Is not" Philadel phia Press. llnrah Slenanrea. Oldpop I want that man Stoplate to quit hanging around here. You send him away. Daughter But, papa, I can't get rid of him. I've given him all sorts of hints, and even treated him rudely, but It's no uie. Oldpop Well, make it strong. The next time he comes, sing to him. Cleve land Leader. A Paris automobile building firm is Just about completing a 110-horse power gasoline submarine boat for the French navy. Have You a Friend? Then tell him about Ayer's Cherry Pectoral. Tell him how It cured your hard cough.. Tell him why you always keep it In the house. Tell him to ask his doctor about It. Doc tors use a great deal of It for throat and lung troubles. 11 t 1 tnrritiiM cftltl and rflttch and wai threatened with nnumouta. 1 tried Ayri (111 VDtVIIVIt " l'IIVHIvi..w1 a . . J. It ..ouikntAiltlrtlr Ktllt DA t. llfl(TJ 1 PW'IBl Salt It w.v.- i" - fct relief. It U certainly & moil wonderful couch rnedlcluc,M-HKNAl5.AVmTMAW,6toux rmu. 5, unit. Mads br J. 0. Ay or Co Low.ll. Hail, Alto manufaoturtra of 9 SARSAl'ARILLA. U &l O HAIR VIGOR. .1 - - A Fairly Good 3Inn. "Brother Spotcash," said his pastor, "what would you do If an injunction came to you, 'sell all' thou hast and give to the poor?' " "I should obey It of course," answer ed the great merchant "as I have al ways done. Everything I have in stock is for sale, and I give more to the poor than any two men in this block." Chi cago Tribune. PITQ Permanently CoVed. No flu or nervousness ll lu after llrstdny'BuseofDr.Kllne'aareatNerTe ilestorer. Send for Free 88 trial bottle and treatise. Dr. It. II. Kline, Ltd., 831 Arch St.. Philadelphia, Pa. Never yet were the feelings and in stincts of our nature violated with Im punity, never yet was the voice of con science silenced without retribution. Anna Jameson. Plso's Cure U a good cdueh medicine. It has cured coughs and colds for forty years. At druggists, 25 cents. Pretty Thin. "There goes ray auto flying along." "I don't see any auto." "No, that chauffeur of mine drives it so fast you can't see It." Cleveland Plain Dealer. bns of AVer's Pills at bedtime. will hasten recovery. Gently laxative. Mothers will And Mm. Wlnalow's Boothlng Byrup tho best remedy to use tor their children during the teething period. Secret Out. Mr. Stubb Marie, this paper says that ln tho wilds of Africa there Is a mouse that Jumps ten feet at each leap. Mrs. Stubb Gracious! Now, I know why so few of the explorers' wives accompany them. Beware or Ointments lor Catarrh that Contain Mercury as mercury will surely destroy the sense of mell and completely do range the whole sys tem when entering It through the mucous surinces. Such articles should never bo used except on prescriptions from reputable phy sicians, as the damagti they will uo la ten (old to tho good you can possibly dorivelrom them. Hall's Catarrh Cure, manufactured by F. J. Cheney & Co., Toledo, O., contains no mercury, and 1b taken internally, acting directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces o( the system. In buying Hall's Catarrh Cure be sure you get the genuine. It la taken Internally, and made in Toledo, Ohio, by 1 J. Cheney & Co. Testi monials free. Bold by Druggists, price 7So. per botUe. Hall's Family Pills are the best. Old Story lm Nctt Gnlae. "There goes Blower In a swell now overcoat." "Yes, tho price came from gam bling." "You don't say. It is a wonder his wife didn't talco tlio money awny from him." "She gave it to him. She won It playing 'bridge.' " The Earth's Area. One of tho best authorities estimates tho area of tho earth's suiface at 100, 701,084 squaro iniles, of which about 53,000,000 Bquare miles is land, the rest water. Throughout most of this 50,000,000 square miles Pillehury'B Vitos has mado its way because it's bo good. It is the ideal breakfast toed, and may bo had at any up-to-date gro cery. In Sclf-Defenae. "Why ln thunder did Eddie Otfa friends work so hard to get him elected to Congress?" "They wanted to send him to some place- whero he coild talk politics all he wished to, and they wouldn't have to listen to him." Cleveland Lea dor. The Carthage (Mo.) Press says that a Joplin boy asked his Sunday school teacher last Sunday if the James boys wroto the Book of James. - To Break In New Shoes. Always shake in Allen's Foot-Ease, a powder. It cures hot, sweating, aching, swollen feet. Cures corns, ingrowing nails and bunions. At all druggists and shoe stores, 25c Don't accept any substitute. Sample mailed FREE. Address Allen S. Olmsted, Le Boy, N. Y. Much More to the Point. "Ef yer real interested," said Deacon Skinner, "I'll tell ye what I want fur thet horse." "Oh, I wouldn't be interested in know in' thet," replied Farmer Shrude, "but I wouldn't mind knowin' what ye'd take." Philadelphia Ledger. Park and Washington, Portland, Oregon "The School of Quality" A. P. Armstrong, LI. B., Principal Thousands of graduates in positions) hundreds placed each year; more calh for help than we can meet it fays to at tend our school; largest, most modern, best equipped. Departments: Business, Shorthand, Typewriting, Penmanship, English. Open all the year. Catalogue, penwork free. Call, telephone or write. HI WATERPWOf Jffc OJLSD CLOTHING tLpLt of VfttwriuOnenrfjYwhtrt vl i J Look for ttt 3ijn of the rljh,in4 yfliVA cL7 the name TOWER en the button). hWj tfl J TTt 4L4IT0.NIII,U14 I Y AJV4 ftiU aTairt w imn ill tI i i tTb LlI ln time. Bold br drusiltla. Ml bbbbbWI-1 ii f i " 1 " ri ? wmuM .00 To be GWen for Reliable Information We have set aside $1,000:22 to be spent for information and will give five dollars for a Postal Card giving the first reliable news of a chince to icll a horizontal Ueira engine of out Uriel, within our rmrc ol ilzei. We do not want Inqurilei it tbli time for TCittcil, iiacuou or gu engine,. ATLAS ENCINES AND BOILERS Builder ofthe tuott coin Die U Una of eiiflneta.nd I to u r i in we vj maj one w.nuiciunDf cecum in we woua Atlas Engine Works 6.1Un.acl4ln.llcUI4 INDIANAPOLIS Corllii, Tour Yl,, lutoro.tic, lliih-Spe.d, Cam. nouutl and ThrotUlnf tnitu... w.t.r Tub.. Tu- JUIm Encln.4 In unlr. 8,000,000 n. T. 1U. UoiUri in Mrtic. 4,000,000)1, p. p. n u. Urn. 52-1903 w IIKir writing- to advertisers pleavat) weauuH (His pwpar.