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About The Madras pioneer. (Madras, Crook County, Or.) 1904-current | View Entire Issue (Dec. 14, 1905)
AflUFUN K X
ii ii u a ji
mil v i .lamea
A Mataral Remedy.
That the remedy ia sometime worse
than the disease la again shown by an
Incident chronicled in the New York
Times. A. prominent politician has a
wife who Is a model of domestic care
fulness. She has a talent for making
bread, anrl talma crrnat nrM a In havlniy
Mother (who is teaching her child her loayes turn out well,
the alphahct) Now, dearie, what One evening she had set the batch of
comes after g?" The Child Whlzzl dough to rise In the kitchen and was
Ex. reading in the parlor, when her 0-year-
"Where did you put the butter," said oI j bojr came runn,n to her crying,
lady to her colored girl "Done out "mma mamma, there's mouse
it in do frcezcrator, missus." was the iumDed ,nto yur bread-panl"
answer. Ex. i Tllt 0 woman sprang from her
v k scat.
H.? -What an excellent car-1 you take nUn ont? ,he afke(1(
Vnn ,7 uuu man nn"' vvnggsuy franUcally.
luoiuail COacil. Uultl-1 "No'm. hut t don innt an trnert. I
CAPITOL BURDrNG, SALEM, OREGON
A Letter From the Ex-Governer er
The ex-governor of Oregon Is an ar-
" vv . .a a ratarrn rem-
5'rrM W.rr lUto in
fihrtn A receiving
TTmIAIi. AIt - . all
.u MIatii dfttir. All
fll UK" . ' A.
' il isiT irn. nun
i wrtw .
lV"ik. the editor, ina iiiuot-
: (h precner - :y ;
(I LIJD vf - .
. TlmtilTB ou
...h m tneir rw .
..-.tlinitMtlo la their praise
?E Mtlrely free from catarrh.
. Hinn mil vuidsiii 4
(tlie beet Mfeguaru mown.
IYour Druggist for rree reruna Almanac tor 1906
Ho Thoy say peoplo who marry
oou grow to look aliko. She Then
you must consider my refusal as flnaU
Bobby (at dinner tablo) Papa, can
threw the cat In, and she's digging
' - 1 t, A- . a. ... a ii.
iir uim 10 ucai uie oanur-
In the United States there ate abont
400 Christian Science churches, with
i. - . - . - : bdoui iuu.uuu aanerflatfl. Accord in or to
L$??JJn' k-eP-.-lt an?: in r:rf, rJIP.!.. ,P"PariMr-,Eddy,itafounder, the church is
uuiitiuuHii in me uuuse, in a letter . .. uu miu m
to Dr. Ilartwan, he says: ( tw-I,IUburg Dispatch.
State of Oregon, Danhaway Do you lovo that girl
Execmtlve Department. M much nB 7 think you do? Clover
The Feruna Medicine Co., Columbus, ton Why, old man, I lovo her almost
0.: as much as sho thinks I do. Ex.
an. At m . I, a
uer ztn i nave nad occasion to use ' ouo ho you really Imagine that
making tremendous strides in popular
ity, in which respect it resembles Pills-
bury's vitos, the popular cereal food.
SesraTRra In london.
It la calculated that 4,000 persons
make a living In London by begging
year Peruna medicine in my family for smoking benefits you? He I know It and tnat thclr averaB income amounts
lly mother-in-law leaves the
ceMs. 8fld k proved to be an excellent n.
R f- Vt kHnTenS: " ih I ny plpe.-Ex.
Yeura very truly, VV. M. Lord. James My lord, tho carrlogo waits
It will be noticed that the governor wltuut My Lord Without what,
tys he has not had occasion to use Jttmcs? James Without any 'osseu,
Peruna fpr other ailments. The reaeon m? ,or1- Is the motor carriage.
for this is, most other ailments begin Er-
. m. 1. .1 .tiA nAvr &T
H-b-b, that oepenos, rcyi.-u
I cerer arnx, sraoscu, iuit.u w.
I tavo everyuouy a squaro
jit ill that out," was mo icmo tc
"Md tell nje what was your 'basl-
in in -expert accountant"
. tea can got lnl You're what
.... i .F.tnMnn fnr van aun.
C1TB uctu n itw"iiB .
in expecting Ilockcfcller now at
tiny time and all or our accouui-
i worklnu overtime. We want
i. .M a tianil htm nn ltnmlztul
IT WtB -
, ttilemest of what he did with
K i statement of bow he got it"
Feolln Hubby. ,
tia ibow jou the new novel lor
M lidJei," conflded the clerk la
"Xoteir echoed the prospective ens-
Uhj, that is a cookbook."
It Ii a dashing, breezy novel
i cookbook cover. You see,
iroarhaiband walks In and finds
main; wnai apparently a cook
ie will feel co tickled ho Is llnl.lo
1 rer tit price of new foil
m4 Adrloo to Traaap.
itotuma sight was chill. There
i Hint or xroit In the air. The
.l..H. . . ...
Bin Willi rata.
I kin birt 9 cenU " k i&ld. "If
tifl ht me one roors penny, ilr.
Ml a .11 a. .
v.u Mil fcv UJDCU.
".Ian'tdo thnt," laid the straa-
out I adrlte you to ask the gea
i m are to ileet) with for an
Customer Thoso trousers nro too
short for my boy; he'd outgrow them
In Ave weckif. Tailor No danger;
they won't last thnt long. Chlcngo
"Why don't you get up nnd glvo that
oat to your father, Bobby7 Don't It
Ipaln .you to seo him reaching for a
Htrap?" "Not on a street car." Chi
Jawback My mother's cooking-
Mrs. Jnwback Well, she deserves It
But I didn't think you'd acknowledge
It so shortly after her death. Clovo-
Aocorrtlng to Instructions
A British efllccr, in his expense list
on government service, put down:
The officer was requested to re
port to the war efllce and receive the
"While executing public duty re
freshments are not chargeable to the
"Tiie item does not represent re- . . T . '
freshments" replied the officer, "but a . ana Lenaor'
fee to a carrier." She Are your poems improving
"Yen should have said porterage," 7 Ho I Judgo so. The editor used
was then explained to him. J to glvo me ten seconds to get out of
Whan the officer had occasion to take tno office. Now he gives mo fifteen.
a thaasom, remembering Instructions, . Chicago News.
ne wrote in bis account: "How can n girl tell whether or not
-caBuagc, 2 sninittgs'-Jrmiadelpbla 'eho la a man's affinity?" murmured
-unuc imager. Suslo. "By looking him up In Brad-
.nu ni.i,c. street," replied Polly. JJoulsvlllo
"There are Uiree beautiful worda In . Courier-Journal.-
the Eagllsh language," said a peraegrl-1 "How much of an estate did he
noting philosopher as be sipped his .leave?" "It appears that bo died
morning glass, "that ought to be cross- neither rich nor poor. Thoy estlmato
ed wt of the dictionary.
"The first one Is 'honesty.' No one
Is absolutely and perfectly honest If
you give orders to say you are not
his estate at about two millions."
Olercland Plain Dealer.
Miss Newlywed Well, Henry, how
do you llko my plea 7 Mr. Newlywed
at heme, when yea are In and don't Dearest, thoy aro Just like tho pies
wast to be dlstBrbed, that Isn't quite that my flltbor UBed to 8ay wcro not
"The second word is 'satisfaction.'
No e is perfectly 'satisfied.' Suppos
ing you had, by a long stretch of im
agination, $10,000 a year, you would
"Ad the third word Is that beauti
ful monosyyable 'UV Oa that I seed
A Ifffhc Remedy.
A cek doctor, whose treatment had
vldently ltd to the death of hit patient,
was examined sterulr by the coroner,
"What did you give the poor fellow?"
asked tho coroner.
"You night just as well have given
him the aurora borealis," said tho coro
"Well, sir, that's Juet what I was go-
Mg te give hua when he died.
my rattier used to say
like his mother used to makel-
. J inn . ! Till n n ttfl inn Brrticrrnniwj
i'I or Pm away and no slra of the dUe ia ever
U Mat JiM.lru?U?n for self.trMbHMit 1 Bv madlcal advice d.
Dumlcy What they call preferred
stock Is tho stock that pays dividends,
Isn't it? Wiseman Not nt all; but the
stock that docs pay dividends Is al
ways preferred. Philadelphia Press.
New Dentist (In Frozen Dog) Will
you take gas? Bronco Bill Will It
hurt If I don't? Dentist It will
Bronco Bill Then, stranger, for your
i snko I think I'd better take It Life,
"Thank you," sho said, as he finally
gnvo her his seat In the car, "It's al
most Impossible to stand on your feet"
"That was becauso I kept pulling 'em
out of your way, ma'am," ho replied.
George Who was tho first one that
camo from tho ark when it landed?
John Noab. George You are wrong.
Don't tlie Good Book tells us that
Noah enrao forth; so there must have
been three ahead of him. New York
Lumber Yard Lcm I hain't scon
Weary Wllllo around lately. Seven
Lenguo Saunders No; he's disguised
himself as a college pcrfessor an' llvln'
as one o dem. He's goln' to write a
magazine nrtlclo on dero lives au' hab
"Why do you want a dlvorco?" the
iiidro asked. "Becauso I can't look
at my wlfo without being tempted to
roiumlt suicide or murder." "What
brought about this Btato of mind?"
"Sho put moth balls In my cigar pock
et" "Petition granted." Judge.
"WnBu't tryiug to commit suicido?
Why. Bho Jumped off the end of tho
pier into thirty feet of water and sank
llko a atouer' "i Know, dui sno just
explained to the man who rescued her
that sho had learned to swim at a cor
respondence school." Houston Post
"Why did you leave your last place?"
asked Mrs. Hiram Offen. "wen," re
plied the pratty servant mold, "the last
couple I was with didn't agree." "In
deed? Why should their disagree
ments affect you?" "It was about me.
The gentloraan liked mo, but sho
didn't" Philadelphia Press.
Mr. Staminerton 01 Vera I or
that la, M M MIbs Sere, I er lul
ul lul Miss Sero (coyly) ics,
Mr. Stammorton.sny It, don't bo nfrald.
Mr. Btammertou I'm afraid it's g g
going to t t t tako mo so lul
ong to say -It that you-a uuu newer
remark 'This is so suuaen- now.
"What a man your father isr ex
claimed Mrs. Fogle, looking up from
tha letter in her bond. "Ho says ne
has bought a French clock, and shall
bring it home with him. What will It
I psrlfiwl and atrengthened wltk tills be good for except bb an ornament?
None of us can ten uo umu vr u, uu-
b ma wm m if us i Bk
i in hi ill mwm
BBT XooT SLoV klk am l -oMh HI ITU In I IK
w smr .jm. JaVBBMr mmw Jk. M S. Ilu UuMuii i Ulll
fp I am - a . .1 5. 1 4 f-J .1
"""ly, the Order has Plno frl, 41,af llnnmi.rf.rll u-t'11 U. rrl.'M nr-
: -"" Ut UCairOVrll Ho n Ml mi am nil ilH ociwaII nnnnnno.
. J ;;: muu-. ontac;ious Ulood Poison la the black flar of the irreat
'.-'C. llltfl til. .IIn..l- I. 1... .1. 1.1 1 4- 1 k 1. J.l
-iiiumaa atliictinfiQ nv.rtii- ,,tnr:Mid t.f
Janocentl1 vl Pcr80n3 no ntter Iiow jiure the blood may be
.i' j uigLaac i cnniranrrn. wnf-n Tina bwitii vinm rnirrii 1 1 1 n
ft. ... . """i uuiuui hiici uumu aunir Rvmnrnms Deirin. txi anncar.
' -"4BVB1BT1 Of tl.M ,llci. I 11.11 ..1 1 1. 1.1 I
M - - UltfkUilia IB JBk 11LL1E RU1R 1 1 1 II II TI . 1J 11 L. 1HIS t-UC U1UUU
-wic ueeniv ....... ..... - n.
,-sooav. tdT,oi-j .... r . . 7
.'ii r 1 Mini Mini riuHnrnnr MniM n t s-ab rtwi i n
tt8aff t?Pls pustular eruptions and sores. In 4 worst,
1 10 form M 11 , . "- 'ca wie uoucs tuu eoiuciiuica wuuacs
"unnOtttl ieh rain ,.l. '
- v Miiri fiHAiL . . ) . . a
1. vilulii. rur mmIu aiBvarBi vai aaavn 1 nan ninnn nnianai
,lB!M the vl. j P0.18,011 Suffer, 5r. At sorts would bwSe out and aoth
M C I tS.8 dvcn from Jjwt oa th would do . ar aood.
ury for a long- time and instead
. :."""ua. ji wvui tr , , aero
? 'Waclc (l,. n V.v"ua 18 - aretttsr bstUr I continued . to. arow
used, ri v. aoiia
Kv lnri wars draws SO X
eouldnot walk and X fait that my time
was short kcra If X did not not soma re.
lief.. X began to use your B. 8. 8. and It
jmpea mo rrom tne start. Aiior iia
it awhile tha soree all healed, my rheu
xnctlim was oured and to-day X am a
used, never can'
Jllieiim,,"!se Minerals inerelv
. . -vuiHaSeiin 1 .1 .
J wiu irir n it A
inM I . - . -n-riirYia . . . . . . i . i
. , "M Wore Tl.l 7--" nong-, weu roan, as oi ; vut
'y fill 1,118 treatment eulT out of my system and It oured ma
HliVrll81? Cure blood T,nt." ouBdaad wen. ADAM SOHNABKL, T
IT r,....:Wel8. Produce rhrrtt A... 1 f.
'i lurrrra.. -" .ucuiuiiiiHTn m arin . i a n.A. r'M ntifrnnir.
fl()n to a. :.CgeUulO Medicine, la tllrnnniim f tf.to vlt disease. It
lttlelait i I00' Of the trniiVilo at. 1... 1 ..J..1, lilnnd nf
ijuignti a O n . . . " ...1
S- :fl w' ooea not Jiw or cover tip anymmg
JHm but cleara the entire circulation of the
fl Tlrtia and puts the aystent in good
healthy condition. It cures safely as
a-t-aw weu as certainly, Because mere is nuv .
BBBBWaBi aaBBMBBBf 1P ft-
"ELY Vtnr-H- W wrd o $t,ooo.oo for proof that 8. S. 8.
ii.. - ia i .1 i ,
to over Sl,500,000 a year. Last year
1,025 persons were arrested for beg
ging in the strcots, of whom more than
1,500 were sentenced to terms of Im
prisonment varying from one week to
three months. Many of these objects
of charity were found in possession of
sums of money and even bank books
bowing very handsome deposits.
Beware of Ointments lor Catarrh that
o mercury will surely destroy the seme of
imell and completely derail ea the whole its-
tem when entering It through the mucous
i urf ?. Sucharticlesftjouldnerer be uied
except on proscription! from reputable phy
ilclani, ai the damage they will do It ten fold
to tne (food you can possibly derivefrom them.
Hall's Catarrh Cure, manufactured by K. J.
Cheney it Co., Toledo, O.,contalninomercury,
and Is taken internally, acting directly upon
the blood and mucous surfaces of the system.
In buying Hall's Catarrh Cure bo sure you get
the genuine. It Is taken internally, and made
iti Toledo, Ohio, by K. S, Cheney &. Co. Testi
Bold byDrugglsts, price 75c. per bottle.
liaU'sTanUy i'llls are the best.
And It came to paBS that tho Ham
let troupe was stranded at a water
tank twenty miles from the nearest
farm house. A roving tramp crept out
of tho shadows and, approaching the
leading man, said In awe:
"Mister, are you really Hamlet?"
"Yes," replied the barnstormer, "but
I wish I was the ghost"
-"Ghosts don't get hungry."--Colum-bus
Permanently Cured, irofltsorntrrotuness
after first day's use of Dr.KUne's Great Nerre
T. Send for Vrmmtt't trllthottlemri Ircall.o
Dr. It. 1L Kline, Ltd.. Ml Arch St.. Philadelphia, Pa.
Lincoln's Hay Crop.
The stories that Kansas newspapers
are now printing of tho big corn crop
recalls Lincoln's story of the big hay
crop In southern Illinois. "What," In
quired a visitor, "do you do with such
a big crop of hay?" "Wo stack all we
can on the ground," replied tho vet
eran story teller, "and the rest we put best equipped,
Every day in every year
that comes, more housewives
Me giving up their ezhorbitant
nriced Baking Powders and
turning to K C, the honest and
reliable, which has stood so well
the test of years, iney are nna-
mg out that
costs one-third the price of
powder anywhere near K C
quality, and makes better, purer, more
healthful baking. 25 ounces for Joe.
Send postal for " Boole of Presents."
JAQUES MFG. CO.
It Waus No Uae.
Dick Come on and go down the
street with me, Jack.
Jack All right, old man wait till I
finish this letter to my dad.
Dick Oh, If yon'ro writing to him,
don't come. I'm broke, too. Cloveland
There are 876 submarine cables in
the world, the length of which amount
to 178,010 miles. Most of these be
long to private parties, only 25,000
miles being owned by the various gov
ernments. All, however, bring daily
orders from every land on tbe globe,
for Pillbsury b Vitos, the all-day food.
Mr. Jawback I'm going to get a life
Mrs; Jawback You're foolish. It's
all a graft
Mr. Jawback But what would you
do If I'd die?
Mrs. Jawback Marry again, of
Mr. Jawback You couldn't if my.
life hadn't been Insured for a good,
big sum. Cleveland Leader.
MALLEABLE IRON STUMP PULLERS
Vastest, llgbUst and stroncest Btomp Poller
en the market, lis Horse power oa tbe sweep
with two horses. Writ for descriptive cataioj
RBIERSON MACHINERY CO.
Foot ef Morrison Street Portland, Orejon
in the barn." Detroit News.
Park and Washington, Portland, Oregon
"Tho School of Quality"
A. P. Armstrong;, IX. B., Principal
Thousands of graduates in positions;
hundreds placed each year; more calls
for help than we can meet it fays to at
tend our school; largest, most modern,
Mothers will find Mrs. Wlnslow's Boo thin r;
byrup tne best remedy to use lor their cnuaren
auzing tne teouung perioa.
Day to lio Itcmomberea.
"I dread to think of my thirtieth
birthday," began Miss Passay.
"Yes," replied Miss Pert, "something
drendful must have happened to you
then or you wouldn't remember It this
long." Philadelphia Ledger.
Cable Tolls to Japan.
It costs 61.70 a word to send a mes
sage to Japan, and, with war raging in
tho Far East, tbe cable tolls for war
news are something tremendous. But
as the people will bavo tbe war news
in connection with their morning dish
of Pillsbury's Vitos, the cables are
kept busy day and night.
A New One Needed.
Mr, Nagcet A man Is as old as he
feels, they say, and I assure you your
extravagant Ideas mako me feel-
Mrs. Napgett And a woman Is as old
as she looks. Juut. thanic goodness, i
can never be as old as this bonnet of
mine looks. Philadelphia Press.
less you can, Edith. You know some
thing about French, dou t your jo.
STIFF AND SORE
from head to foot? Can't work
today, but tomorrow you can,
as the Old-Monk-Cure,
St. Jacobs Oil
will soften and heal the
muscles whllo you sleep.
It Conquers Pain
Price), S5e. and 50s.
Shorthand, Typewriting, Penmanship,
English. Open all the year. Catalogue,
penwork free. Call, telephone or write.
Around the World
"I heve used your Fish
Brand Slickers for years
In the Hawaiian Islands
and found them tbe only
article that suited. I ara
siow In this country
(Africa) and think a great
steal of your coats."
(naiii oh application)
HIGHEST AWARD WORLD'S FAIR. 1984.
The world-wide renuta-
tlon of Tower's Water- aWFR'a
proof Oiled Clothlne I'VY,"
assure the buyer of
the positive worth of i
all garments bearing; f n snlfe '
this Slra of the Fish. KIM
A. J. TOWER CO., Boston, U.S.A.
TOWER CANADIAN CO., LIMITED.
35) ' Toronto, Canada.
Why not marry when yon can. Boln oar society
and meet and correspond with reputable persena
In tbe Northwest who wish to marry. We bare
hundreds of members of both sexes, many wealthy.
Write lor December Matrimonial Btslerrprlee It
cents. Box 669, Foitland, Oregon.
Dr. G. Gee Wo
This wonderful Chi
nese Doctor Is called
treat because he cures
people without opera
tion that are Riven up
to die. lie cures with
those wonderful Chi
nese herbs, roots, buds,
barks and vegetables
that are entirely un
known to medical sci
ence In Ihlaonu-ry. Through he use of tones
harmless remedies this famons dojtor knows
the actlou of over 00 different remedies which
he successfully uses In dlfferen. diseases. He
gun rant! e to cure ca'arrb. asthma, lung, throat,
rheumatism, nervousness, stomach, liver; kid
neys, etc.; has hundreds of testimonials.
Charges moderate. Call and see him. TaUenta
out of the city write for blankr and c rculaxs.
Bend stamp. CONSULTATION 1'itBE.
Uinu THE 0. GEE WO CHINESE MEDICINE CO
162 First St, S. C Cor. Morrison
Mention paper. PORTLAND, OREGON.
A New Organ
Delivered to any Rail- ft A
road Station or Boat j)&-0
Landlnz in Oregon r
-aaawvBBB Smsp ssBHsaaaasH
m im in. atv
V.Bt Ul, ADUMUOi Af
tire. T.ssting.Un to Bata
and Authoritative!- Nnnthr lft
will go of tea be a reminder of the giver.
9380 pages, 8000 illustrations. Keceatly
enUrsod with 25,000 new word, a new
OaxeUeer. and new Biographical Diction
ary, edited by W. T. HarrU, PhJX, IX.D..
u. 8. Commissioner of Education. Grand
frUe,World' 1' sir, SULotiU.,aet the Beet.
WtUUr! ColU(UU nictlourr. Ir(Mtof aaraWMf
inrau. lUflu uul Thin I'apar dlUoai, UlluurMaiid
. Write for " DIctlMirv Wrinkla-FrM.
Here la a picture of one of the most perfectly
finished organs now manufactured. It la tha
I'exlfio Queen, made especially for Ellers Piano
House. Choice of fancy walnut or seleoted
oak ca.es. t ine, very large beveled plate mir
ror, perfectly finished; an ornament to any
Numerous new and valuable improvements)
aie embodied in this organ, making it nt one
one of the best ana most durable organs man-
umcwirea in tno unuea oiaies.
lullt with special regard to Pacific Coast
llesldes the regular reed tone, this instru
ment also has several octaves of the regula
pipe effects, to be found in no other make.
Special introductory offer.
To Introduce this Organ we are making mori
exceptional concessions in our prices and
terms and will deliver a perfect and fully guar
anteed Organ freight paid, to any railroad sta
tion or boat landing in the state of Oregon for
tie, on payment of W down and i a month.
The fancier styles $2, $56, etc, on same term.
Write us today, as this offer la limited only to
tho first 100 Instruments.
Largest, Leading and Most Responslfcte YYea
Washington street, corner Park, Portland.
Bprague ave. and Post it, Spokane, VTash.
614 Market street, Ban Francisco, Oat
EX writing- to advertisers nliua
mentloa tula paper.
We do orown and brldgsworK without pain.
Our 19 years experience In plate work en
ables us to Ut your mouth comfortably. Dr.
W. A. W Ise has found a sare way to extract
tssth absolutely without pain. Dr. T. P.
Wise Is an expert at gold Ulllnj and crown
and brldgework. Kxtractlng fre when
platsa or bridges are ordered.
Falling Bldg., Third and Washington Bts.
Open evening till o'clook. Sundays from
9 to 11 Or Main am.
dr. t. p. wise
PUTNAM FADELESS DYES
sMraMaaet to sjiva parfett reeuNa. Ask dealer, or we wW ad Beet aaM at 1
C4er mtrt gerf lrlcMer and faeter cetera than any other Ve, One 10c sackaxe cafera aWf. wool awHl cWfl aurty weM aaet la
siataaga. wfiM i or hh aeewet mw m r.