J
dt
V
f
.
fc
tstsar.
"rsr"
St
5!WB!!B!WH
HOYD AiBLAKF.LY, I'HOPUIKTOIIS.
i)i:vori:ii to i'omtic, litisiiatmiik, AtmtriiiTiii-j (.kneiial ivri:M.ioi:.v;r:, uv., lc.
TKUM8 85,00 PKIt ANNUM.
,
r4l U fi -
V)M'aIVA 411.
fllttf
THE UMPQUA WEEKLY GAZETTE.
I'Uiimsiieii i:t.hv satuiiiiay,
M 110YI) & HLAKELY.
' t.,y, n. iiom. "I1-
allKKtCHIn HiNitt.itr.ii'a IH.ii.iuno. Main "treef
mil door west of tho 'SrolUbuns House."
TKIIMt INVAHIAIII.Y IV AllVANfJI'.
Our copy, for ono ycur, CS ,'i S for lx month,
93.00 1 Tor thrco iiiunllm, U,0(.
No mjer will be ttlncoiitlnuvl until nil urrcar-
'KAVvr".T?itr.si will I In-rH l ,
lowltts rtc:-Oiio ntitro of ten lln- r Im,
Unit luwrtlon, $2,00; ncU ittW.iienl Ini-rtlnii,
l,0 . A liberal deduction mulu l yearly ad
vf rtlwrp
Ilt-HiNM Cami, of ten limit or lei, for mm
yrar, tM J Tur nit inolillii, t!5 for llirco montim,
tiTli number of Insertion tnitfl lnlltlnct
ly 'marked on the iiinrRlit. ntlterwlat tliwy will w
imtluucJ till forbid, and clnr'.-l accordingly.
The following iiampli-riM.nii am niilliorlil
lo rrcelro auUcrlptloti nnd ad-rrtlKtmuU fur
lir Unttltr, nti'l receipt for the wuc i
II. W. .Mmwi., I:ukho City.
J. H. 5lcln:rsr, M. I.. Oonullk
I. N. Kwith, l.. ltiirlliiKtuii.
Ou.ttov HtttTii.li".. Albany.
I,. F. Ciiovr.it, llu,,.Salrm.
K II. Tati-oh, Jacksonville.
Jams Twtmonn, Cutiyonvllle,
F H. Ifni.UNt., Ori'K'in 'lly. '
W II. rViiuuii, l' . I'orlUuoT,
Oiv. Alum, Astoria.
flnt. II. AuiimiKK, M. I . Jacksonville.
ItiHMi A Vp'imih, Jaekonlllf.
It. II. Psuiutuiw, Ihtr CVil:.
Hov. Jtr. (lAt.tr. Otnjonvllle.
J. tf (Imiii.k, li., Fort Orf'ipl.
0. MiiMuitov, Dalit cf tliv (Columbia.
Amos K. Uwikim, l., Cooae- Hay.
Col. W. W. Ciuru.N, Klkton.
U. Fuwtt, Kf., Wltclirtr.
Jos. KtrsoitM, Cuiiyoinllle.
JiH. A. fiiuiMM, F..'., Fort Vitnritivf r, v T.
I1 "
A h'mtr.wii DiH.-roit. 'iTio l'liiltlcliltin
Sunday Mercury tell n atory to UiAUVct
that a tnaii iiattii'd Jimninj;i undertook n
(nw nlglita ilnco to jiy n colored r!iyni.
cian from St. 'pomlng;, named Dr Charle
Io Hrttit. rilidiiiK In tli'Uclly, n aevnro
diubbUig for malpractice. It'FOtnia Uial Iflh la a orel nml rrO-oiliiDr; It-m ,nf
Jcnnltlga had been troubled with tllupcpiia, new ami ia put in circulation lor thofirat
n,l l,.i.i ni,li,.,l in Dr. !.u llriin for a curu tltimo by tho writer. Hut, Mr. Miller, it bo
but after lakitiL' tint tloctor'a ploic for a
month ho found himtt If much vrorir, told
tint tloctor ao, ami then a quarrel ami the
aiiault junt apokett of follow ed.
"Moniieur le .Mnyr," Mill tho Dr., "I no
prtttud to bo zo wizaril ; hut I euro any
liody tint do vat I aay. I tell dii man ho
mutt take two of my pill to morrow, four
io nex day, and den goiloublu odos for
ty tlay ; ami if he no euro tleu, I tell him ho
come to mo I will give hint back Ida money
touto lulte. Sare, dat ii ze bargauu vat I
ruado id him, and ho no tlo dat, no it no
under ho git vono."
Jennings replied to thU: "I took hi pill,
air, according to tllrectioitf, for llvo day,
doubling every day, a ho told me, anil
found on tho fifth tlay that tint done amoun
ted to thirty-two pilli; and then I began to
flguro tii what It would amount to in forty
day, and found that 1 should have to taku
nt least halfn peck."
"No matter If It vat a hmhel," saitl Dr.
I.n llmn, "o pillis vegitabeel, just amo a
von ttirneep, ami ho might live on item all
o time ami zcy no hurt. Hut if ho no give
xo pill hfiiir trial, vot for I give him back
his money."
It was plain otiough that Jenning did not
go according to contract, nml so ho hail no
pretence for asking Dr. Lo limn to refund.
llio tloctor promised to nay nothing about
i
tho assault nml battery if Jenning would
portevoro in tho purchase ami use of tho
tncdiclno; but Jenning In this oxtremo case,
preferred tho operation o( law to that of
physic, ami wait nccorinugiy noiimi over to
answer for tho outrage ho had comitted.
Tho dyspeptic individual, however, in
aying that "when ho began to figure up
whnt it woultl como to in forty tlay, hail
ho followed tho sable physician' prescript
tion, and round that ho would have had to
tako nt toast half a peck," bhotvetl a groat
ignornnco of quantity. Our "devil," whilo
waiting for the copy, "has llgured it up,"
and say that tho fluttering Jennings woultl
only havo I,070,:i0l,lli7,7tm pill to tako
for his last doso, and but i!,M0,fl0i),V!.r.ri,
.130 altogether; ami ho promised to reduce
this to "dry measuro nt tho enrliost leis
ure." A Hupkai.0 pnper says n man in that
city, bolng much annoyed by the singing of
a canary, flworo at the liltio songstur, biiico
which time it ha maintained perfect silouce.
A roliglnus tract I aoon to bo publised Bet
ling forth tho above fuct. Tho papors tloos
not atato that tint oath was uouompanid
with n blow, leaving nothing but tho foath
era.
Tin: Kr.cKivint of tho Crystal I'alnco in
New York states that tho Assclation owes
less than 8200,000 ; nml na tho property
cost over 8700,000, tlw assets will proba
bly enter nil liabilities.
CorrcM'Oii'ltncool Ida Weekly OafiMv,
III our Innt wo tlintoited of .Mr. Liitmoti'ii
lollor, timl will now briefly notlco Mr Mil.
lur'n latter. And II rat, lot tin rond wlmt ho
linn written concerning tho military xond ;
hut huforo wit Inlrotliico hi reniarki,wo
will atnto thnt hr. ujnotl jmitirrly ignorant
of the limit jiublieeuturrji In tho hiitory of
thnt rnntl. Ami uotwithtAii(llni( thoro nro
nuvernl n llio IJnijMiua vnlltiy who nro illit
lenki;(( with tho (iOiiumI In regnrtl to this
riiml, yet If thnro woro no other objection,
but till. out?, to hint, wo qucition very
much whether Itmt ohjoctlon nlono would
ho ur.'d nn!itt him at thin time. Now to
tihow tho nttenipt nt virtuo In Mr. Miller'
learhhijj wo tttoto:
"Int. A to tho military rond from Myr.
tlo creek to Scottaburg. Ho far from (Jen.
Latio' Imvitif,' tlotto nuything, in connec
tion with thin road, that nhould injuro him
in tho estimation of any portion of tho puo
phi of UiitHun valley, or eUewheru in Oru
uou, what ho did nhould havit had, and no
doubt will have, when properly tinilurntood,
exactly tho oppoitu effect. I will briefly
review tlto hiitory of thin road, and atato
tho fact aimply, ami olainly."
Iteatler, drivo a nail hero, and then rend
tho following from tho amo writer:
"I anttwer, 1 1 1. That without any move
ment on tho Hiibject on tho part of tho peo
ple intereiited In fact, before thero wcro
any BetllemenU at either end of utiid road,
ami when very fuw, if any, of tho people of
Oregon had thought of conttruclhig any
audi a highway, and without any rcocom
meudntlou from any quarter whatever and
what i Ht ill more remarkable, without theru
having Leen any kuruy or eatimatu of tho
work, winch lia alway heretofore been
required beforo an appropriation could bo
had, (ieu. I. alio, at hit own motion, and by
the exertion of that power which ho poitc
oi here, over antl above all other men. ei
ther in or out of Cnngreia, brought forward
tho proportion to lay out ami construct the
road in ihimuoii, nml pttahed it through
boUtlioutoof CongrcM."
'appear that tho above I wholly;
fal"". 1 oil have been egregnouily deceived
about a matter you unfoittmately tlo not
'umleritatid. Tim appropriation for thu mil-
! ry ' 'font .uyrtiit creca io ogonauurf;
tiasH'tl tho Concrt'ss of TI I, uwn tho
rajucst of the people; a request which was
made not only for this road, but for tho car
nlug out tho order to hate tho mails de
livered at (Jmpqua, and tho expenditure of
tho appropriation made for a light-houso,
iVc, at tho mouth of I'iuKpia river, which
pained Congress In March, (wo think,) Til.
(Sen. I.ano answered this request, about tho
road, during tho canvas of May, '511, in
speeches which fir made, at S inchester,
Deer Creek, nml at Canyonvillo, Douglas
county, 'litis subject of a military road
engaged a largo portion of hi attention.
(Sen. I.ano shnll be your witness to sustain
these facts, which ho U not tho gentleman
lo gainsay. In tho following Congress af
ter his second election, ho obtained the ap
propriation for Pmpqua valley. Ami to
show you that tho poeplo tlid "move" in
tho matter long prior to tho passago of tho
bill, lot mo say, that through tho kindness
of tho IMitor of the Statesman, tho peoplo
of Oregon wero ndviscd of our wishes in
reference to this road, by letters published
in that papor. To further show you that
It was well understood all over Oregon be
foro it passage, ami long before (Sen. I.ano
wa elected tho second time, wo will hero
refer you to tho Joint Resolution of tho Or
egon Legislature, which parsed at their
December session, 18.72, asking for n "mil
itary roiul from Scottsburg to lloguo river
beyond Myrtlo creek. You will And n
similar resolution which passed the Oregon
Legislature, at its December Bsession,18,r!l,
asking for a "military road from Hcotts
burg to Itoguo river valloy." JJy this yon
will sco that tho request was mado nt two
sesiious, mid in tho most public manner,
l'ctitiotions were repeatedly circulated in
this valley, long beforo tho bill passed
nml upon which tho Legislature acted, nml
of which (Sen. Lano was advised. This wo
consider n "movement" on tho part of tho
people. In regard to "settler at cither end
of tho route," wo will further stato that nt
Scottsburg tho first election was held in
June, 1851, at which Gen. Lane had a ma
jority voto at his first election as Delegate.
Douglas county, in which Myrtlo creek is
situated, was organized Jan. 7th, 18.7J, bo.
foro any appropriation wns mado for this
road, and if Mr. Miller passed through
Douglas county In .the summer of Til or
5'2, ho saw settlements nt nml about Myrtlo
creek, and along tho entire route, though
not as thickly sottlod as at this (into. In May,
5!),(ieu. Lane passed through Douglas conn
ty nml addressed tho people, at tho points
named, and In order to do it passed over
..... ! .I. ...II. . ' ...!
Iwnni is now mo iiinuary route; acousuurg
gave him uuolher majority voto nt that elec-
-. p
tion, nil of which mat before b'cottsburg
was mado tho terminus of the mittnfy road.
Will Mr. Miller, or any body Hsc, deny
the nbovo record of Joint KesoEition ami
tho r.tW facts ? Wo opino nut. What
earthly benefit is it, then, lo (Sen. Lane, for
Mr. Miller to imblisii that which Is ;ot ftirv
ly and larnifly untrue.? Tho peoplo
asked for tho road, nml obtained Hi ami
Hcottsburg,instead of being out of existence
nt the time, was n commercial ttlaco of
business long beforo (Jen. J.ano vfe ojor.tcd
the Jirt time. Huppomt wo inquire when
soap will reach it maximum value? and
stop with that. Wm regret that wo cannot
copy morn from thoso loiter, but space will
not permit, therefore, gentlemen, stand
aside.
In conclusion, wo would intimate to our
friendly letter writer, that they havo been
Sadly poaled-and instead of setting tho peo
ple "right" about "certain matters," they
itavo convinced many that they ihcmrelve
have blindly fallen by tho errors they sou't
lo inculcate. Thus it nppear,and thus it
is, particular), in .Mr. Miller' case, for
whom wo havo a deep feeling of solicitude,
nml trust hi ax is ground, or Ids "war"
money obtained. May it benefit him, and
may prudenco creep into his inkstand nuick-
'..
Hero wo havo rich sttecimens of pressed
brick from tho I'ool of .Siloam. mado to or
der, anil being tuetl in ft superstructure
rather than in a foundation, they will flat
ten out, and wit cannot help it. Ily all
mean in thu world, we wilp.ecp new be
ginners out of Congress ris Mr. Lawion
requires of us ; and they shall not go thero
if elected, became wo do not desire to bind
anybody "in a frolic." Hut if no oris will
do but tho (Seneral, for the reason Mr.
Lawson ha expressed, what will wo do
when tho (Seneral Itecomea Vice prefident,
antl is removed from us f Will some sev
eral, or more, letter writers in Washington
inform us f and also inform the people of
Oregon of their destination to which of
tho two doubtful itatts they nro wending
their wny, nml uUo when If oror, day will
be lermittetl to return f
lloth these letter writers stato that the
(Seneral obtain every thing hoaiks for, if
this i so, why is it that highly important
services havo been denied to those who havo
been warm yet seiisiblo admirers of tho
(Seneral in times gonoby; why is this t
Will tho (Seneral nnsweri Anil by so do
ing let us havo thu truth and no moro press
ed brick from tho l'ool of Siloam, Is tho
solemn prayer of UAC1ILL.
PiioroiiiiAi'ine Coti.Nur.itrriTiKO. A
Cincinnati gentleman writes to tho N. Y.
Tribune, describinn tho results of somo ex
iKtrimcnts which have been made in that
city by Mr. I'onlayne, n dagucrreotypist,
relativo to to tho art of photographic coun
terfeiting, 'llio counterfeit notes, he says,
manufactured In this manner, far surpass in
tho perfection of their detail nnvthin" of
tho kind which ha ever done bit tho old
method of engraving. Kvery lino and eve
rv speck it accurately copied, so that when
tho photographr are taken upon tht proper
bank note papor they defy detection, either
by tho unaided eyo or by tho microscope.
I A number of bills copied in this way by
Mr. l'ontavne, wcro presented nt various
banks in Cincinnati, and in every caro they
wero pronounced, nfter careful inspection,
to bo genuine.
Ily this newly discovered system of pho.
togrnphy, all kinds of ordinary writing or
printing mny bo copied checks, notes, au
tographs ami letters. The only safeguard
to the public in respect to bank bills seems
to lie in tho fact that bright ret),, bluo or
green colors cannot bo imitated by tho pho
tographic process, ami that bills which nro
partially printed in theso colors nro conse
quently secure from tho possibillity of coun
terfeiting. Hills counterfeited by the pho
togrnphio method may always betcctetl by
wetting them with u solution of corrosivo
sublimato or of hyodriodato of potassium
tho liquid immediately turning tho photo-graphic-
pioturo white. This test, however,
would prove but a poor safeguard to tho
publio generally.
OuTitAonot's Imposition. Wo learn
that yesterday n very rcspectablo Irish fam
ily, who havo by their industry acquired a
littlo property, roceiveil n letter purporting
to como from Gov. Gardner, stating that
if tho man did not como up tho State houso
and seo His Kxcclleucy beforo twelve o'
clock his goods nml house would bo con
fiscated. Tho man accordingly went up to
lloston, nml tho woman in great distress
oflered one of our citizens tho houso nt his
own pricoif ho would tako it off her hands.
Fortuuntoly thero wns no hnrm dono.but
no thanks nro duo to tho perpetrator of this
gross hoix on that account. If any but an
honest man had had tho nfior of that house,
tho poor woman would havo boon deprved
of n home, nnd another family mado destt.
Into and forced to como upon tho city,
Jossrly's Lynn Daily.
Docatlclc Invent n Patent irlcd
Iciiic. Ni:w Yoiik, Nov. 0, 1851.
.Vet cn-hundrcd and one,
Harrow fitrcrt.
Congratulate mo my fortimo i made
I am Immortalized, and I'vo done it myself.
I have gone into tho patent medicino busi
ness. My name will bo handed down to
joatority ns that of a universal benefactor.
Die hand which hereafter writes upon tho
record of I'nmo thonamesofAyer, Sands,
Townsend, Modal, Morrison and llran
dreth, mint nlio intcribu sido by side with
theto ilistingiiishnd appellations, thri no les
brilliant cognomen of tho undying Doo
stick. Hmulous of tho deathless notoriety
which ha been acquired by tho medicinal
worthies just mentioned, I also resolved to
achieve n namo rind a fortuno in the tame
reputable and honest manner. Bought n
gallon of tar, n cako of beeswax, nnd a fir
kin of lard, nnd in twenty-four hours I pre
settled to tho world the first bitch of "Dor:
rir;K'i I'atk.yt Ski.i'-Actixj Forn.IIouE
I'owKit Hamim," designed to euro all dis
eases of thu mind, body or cslato, to givo
strength lo tho weak, money to tho poor,
bread ami butter lo tlto hungry, boots to
thu bare foot, decency to blackguard, and
common sense to the Knuw-Nothlngs. It
acts physically, morally, mentally, psycho
logically, physiologically and geologically,
and it i intended to make our sublunary
sphere a blissful paradise, to which Heaven
itself shall not be a sido-tbow.
I have not yet brought it to absolute per
fection, but even now it acts with immense
force, as you perceive by thq accompany
ing testimonials nnd records of my own
jtersonal experience. You will observo that
I have resorted to the usual manner of pre
paring certificates ; which it, to be certain
that all thoo intended for eastern circula
tion shall seem to como from some formerly
unheard of place in tho west, while those
sent to the west shall bo dated at some
forty miles east of sunrise. Hut I send you
as representing tho Western country, a cer
lulcnto rmrii nn Oregon farmer; . ,
Dear Sir : Tho land composing my farm
has hitherto Itccu so poor thatn Scotchman
couldn't get his living, and so stony that we
had to slico our potatoes, nnd plant them
edgeways; but hearing of your balsam, I
put somo on tho comer of a ten ntro lot
surrounded by n rail fence, nnd in tho mor
nit)'' I found thu rocks had entirely disap
peared, n neat stone wall encircled tho field,
and tho rails wcro split into oven wood and
piled up symmetrically in my back yard.
I'ut half nu ounco into the tmilulo ol n huck
leberry swamp, in two days it was cleared
off, planted in corn and pumpkins nnd had
a row of teach trees in lull bloom through
the middle. As an evidence of its tremen
dous strength, I would stato that it drew a
striking likeness of my oldest daughter
druw my youngest boy out of the mill pond
drew" n blister all over his stomach
tlrew a load of potatoes lour miles to mar
ket, and eventually drow a ptizo of $07 in
(ho Stato lottery. And tho effect upon tho
inhabitants hereabouts has been so wonder
ful, that they hao opened their eyes to the
good of tho country, and are determined to
voto for a Governor who is oppsed to frost
in tho middlo of June,aud who will make a
positive law against freshets, hail storms
ami tho seventeen year locusts.
There isn't that some, t Hut I givo ono
more from a member of tho senior class In
a western college, who although misguided,
neglected and ignorant, is undoubtedly as
hi Prussianized education will admit of. I
have corrected tho orthography and revised
somo grammatical inaccuracies; but, be
sides attending to theso trlltes, inserting
marks of punctuation, nnd putting tho cap
italt in tho right places, I assuro you I havo
mado no alterations :
"Sam. II.iKiion, Juno 31, 185-1.
My Dear Doctor : (You know I attend
ed lectures halfn winter, and ouco assisted
in getting n crooked needle out of a lady's
leg; so 1 understand perfectly well tlto the
ory nnd practico of niedicliio, and tho V
tor is perfectly legitimato under tho Prussian
system.) Ily the incessant study required
in this establishment, I had becomo worn
down so thin that I wns obliged to put an
overcoat on to cast shadow but ncci
dentally hearing of balsam, I obtained a
quantity, and, in obedience to tho homeo
pathic principle of this institution, took an
infinitesimal doso only; in four days I
measured ono hundred and eighty-two inch
es round tho waist eould chop eleven
cords of hickory wood in two hours and ft
half; and on n hot, carried a yoko of oxen
two miles and n quarter in my loft hand,
my light hand being tied behind mo; nnd if
any ono dotibs tho fact, tho oxen aro still
to bo seen.
"About two weeks after this, I had the
pleasure of participating in ft gun powdor
ox plosion, on which occasion my arms nnd
legs wero scattered ovprtho village, and
my mangled remains pretty equally distri
buted throughout tho country. Under these
circumstances my life was despaired of,
and my classmates had bought a pino cof
fin ami borrowed wholo shirt to attond tlto
funeral in ; when tho iuviuclhlo power of
your four horso power balsam (which I hap
pened to havo In my vest pocket) suddenly
brought together the scatterctl pieces of my
body eolfected my limbs from the rural
districts put new life in my shattered
frnme,and I was restored, uninjured, to my
friends, with n now set of doublo teeth. I
Itnvo preserved tho label which enveloped
tho IxHtlo, nnd sowed it into the seat
of my pantaloons, nnd I now bid grim death
defiance, for I feel that I am henceforth un
killable, and in fact I arn oven now gener
ally designated tho '(Jrcat Western Achil
les.' Yount, entirely, Ski Hv."
I feel that after this, Mr. Kditor, I need
give you no more reports of third pcrsonr,but
will nevertheless detail somo of my own
jicrHOniil experience of the article. I caasea
some to bo applied to tho Washtenaw Hank
after its failure, and whilo the balsam lasted
tho bank recdeemed its notes with specio.
Tho cork of ono of tho bottles drop
ped upon tlto head of a childless widow,
and in six weeks she had a young and
blooming husband. Administered somo to
n hack driver in a glass of gin and sugar,
and that day he swindled but seven people,
and only gavo two of them bad money in
change. Gave n fcw rlrop gratis to a poor
woman who w " (u'. i precarious sub
sistence by making calico shirts with a on
eyed neetfle, and the next day she was dis
covered o bo heir to a largo fortune..
J ho Know-ISoUiinj candidate for Mayor
of tho city has sent for a bottle, and it has
entirely curpd him of a violent verbal diar
rh.T.t. Gave some to an up town actornd
that night ho said 'damned' only twenty
ono times. Ono of-the daily papers got too
next dose, nnd in the noxt edition but ono
there wero but four editorial falsehoodi,scr
en indecent advertisements, and two col
umns and a half of home-made 'Foreign
Correspondence.' Caused fifteen drops to
bo given to tho low comedian of a. llroad
way theatre, and that night ho positively
dressed moro like a man than a monkey
actually spoko somo lino of tho author
made only thrco insane attempts at pucrilo
witticisms only twico went out of his way
to introduco somo grossly indelicato lines
into his part, and for a wonder lost so much
of his self-conceit that for a full half hour
ho did not think himself the greatest come
dian ia tho world. Gavo somo to a news
boy, nnd ho manufactured but thrco fires,
a couploof murders, and ono horriblo rail'
road accident, in tho next thirty minutes.
Put tomo on tho outside of tho Crystal
Palace, and tho samo day tho stock went
up from 22 to -1 1. Our wholo Empiro Ci
ty is entirely changed by tho miraculous
power of " Docstick's Patent Self-Acting-Four-Horse-Power
Balsam." Streets aro
lighted on the dark nights instead of on tho
moonlight evenings thero aro no moro
highway robberies in tho streets, or if thero
tru tho oiTcndcrs.when arrested, aro instant
ly discharged by the polico magistrate. No
more building materials on tho side walks ;
no moro midnight murders : no moro Sun
day Hows; no moro dirty streets; no more
duels in Hoboken, and no moro lies in thu
nowspapers. Broadway is swept and gar
nished; tho M. P.'snro civil; and tho boys
don't steal any moro dogs. In fact, so well
content aro wo now in our c!ty,thatwo feel,
as tho Hibernian poet so beautifully says:
"Oh, If there is an Elysium on carta, '
It U thU-it Is this."
Orders for my Balsam, accompamud nv
the money will bo immediately attended
to ; otherwise- not for my partner and I
havo resolved to sell for cash only, feeling
as did Dr. Young, who appropriately and
feelingly remarks :
"We take no notes on Time."
Triumphantly yours,
Dr. Q. It. Philander
Doesticks, P. B., M. D.
P S. Dull Doggo says I havo piled it'
up too strong, nnd that no ono will bolieva
what ho calls "that humbug about tho news
papers, and tho prepostorous nonsonso con
cerning tho Broadway actor." I am awaro
that in thoso instances my medicino has
porformed a modern miracle, but tho facts
remain "no less truo than strango."
Dr. Q. It. P. P., P. B., M. D.
Vnvnr 1-nfilCA (n kiss n. l.lflv. Gal.
lantry, religion nnd good tasto 'alike forbid
it. If it is sweet, tt will make- you lect iiko
a barrel nnd half of whito sugar for a week;
and if it is not, you will nt loast have tho
satisfaction of knowing that it was tho best
that could bo oflered. Kisses, howevo, like
candy, aro genorally mado up with a good
deal oi sacouarino auuu. mum. tuung
gentlemen at all skeptical should tr on a
few.
SurTERING ron which we obtain no
Symi'btiiv. Whon we are suffering impertinence
tin pA-
-