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TOE UHPQUA WEEKLY GAZETTE.
la'iiLHiiiu) tvtuv saiuudav,
BY UOYD & HLAKKI.Y.
a. d,
n, BOTD. ,1 .
uFFICClnlliNorRKR'iUnuiiMi.Mnltiiiiri'of
noxt deer west of tlii) ".Soottiburj; Jluuiw.
T:UM INVAHIAIII.V IN
dm. ptww. for 0110 ve.ir. fi.VU'J
ADVAM,')!.
lur six months,
13.00 : for three montlm, '.'.'
No pr IN bo discontinued until nil ttrrour-
gADiiSiww wlU bo Inwlid nt lite M-lowWrntr.:-Oiio
pmro of Um lli- or Ic.
autinsertlon, K,00; u.fcttta:itt-uilnHrlfcM .
81,0 A libers! lU'luctlun wade lu yearly nl-
"l!wi"w Cnw. "f ten linn or lwi. rr iiii
yoir, $25 i Tor six nuraths $l ! fur three mouths.
'ttirTJw number of lntlnnMnutUitlljncl.
ly marked on the nmrKln. u,! K" . "
continued till Turbid, niMUIiiricordliiKly.
Tho following iiiwlw5i i nnlhoil
to reecho uucrlitl.tu and drtl.Mnnt for
the Cntttlr, mid receipt for Hie wmo :
M. W. MirciiKi., Kuiseno Hiy.
J. S. MclrKLNr, M. .. ConsUI.
I. N. Smith. l'.".. IturlliiRlott.
Mcuzuv Sumi.r., Alliiy
I,. V. (iROTKU, l . Salem.
S. II. TaTLuii, Jacksonville.
Jakes Twonoon, Cmiyotivlllc.
V. S. lloLUKii, Orcg'm City.
W. II. Kunun, K9.,rortUnl,
tlt.v. AdiIii. Astoria. ...
Gro II. Atiiu. M. I' Jacksonville.
llciivH .t Wnoi. Jacksonville.
II. II. Dkauiiuiiv, Deer Cues.
Nov. Jamk Ua7u:v. Conyoitvllle.
J. 8. (Iamih-i:, toi- I'urt UrPird.
O. HummU'.n, Dalles of tlif Loluiniiii.
Auo K. Itor.r.iw, K.. (.We Ily.
Col W. W. Cm ti-si vn. Klklutt.
U Vijoov, 11, Wlnclic-ler.
J(M. lUNUUw.Cttuyotmll'1.
Ja. A. iIimiiau, K.. I "rt Vancouver. V T.
r"'-J-L i . i .
Tim Clieek-Ueht.
Tll
HulTnlo (N. .) Hcimicral, tlmi
follows up tlio nltnck iijhhi tliu
slinrniy
utmeleM nnd cruel nractico of cln-ckin
up ttio liemis oi iinrocs ;
. Vhrtl StOWI)ll Il.trilOMO lii
torso for'
dragging Iirlck up n tjrnili', tlio liorsoV
l,,.ii la i.uIIpiI Imcl: townrds Ills tail nml
ujohoreil.tlit!ro l-.lho sctjiyU noil mercj.
lets clicck.rcln. The nrrniig'irtpnt Id till'
... t t . t I 1... t '
natural; tiionnimai is coumraiiii.-., wj .
Mo must inrvitablv lose itrenth hy , for
it disturbs tho itiil forco nnd induces nn
unnatural action in lliomusciesoi uieuecn,
head, shoulders nnd mouth. I hero nro less
ftier(,'V nml vigor leu lor uio nmin win
ehetltlian thero would ho if the stupid con.
trivnnco weio jerked olf and thrown over
tho nearest fence. If thu reason cannot
tench this promptly to any man, just let
him try tho experiment hy putting a mnr.
tingalo upon himself nnd go to resiling;
or putting n check in tho jaws of a boxer
.!. l.ull ..ti.n.l .li.if.i tdu l.trlt tfi hi!( belt.
. .1 I.. 1. . ..!
IIJUV DIJflll VA.VII.4 WW ...... ..-.- - ,
It Is n. constanllv witnessed fact that when
n check-rein is loosed nt n tavern stoop or
in nstahlo tho poor horso nlwnys stretches
out his neck nod hangs down his head.
Thia Is his language for saying that tho
strap hurts him nnd wearies him, that ho is
heartily glad to ho relieved from it.
Tho genius that first proposed tho me
chanical feat of lifting himself up hy tlio
seat of his breeches must Imvit been tho au
thor of tho theory that tho check-rein held
tho horso up nml kept him from falling.
Tho mechanical action in tho two cases
must bo prucitcly tho sumo. If thu render
will reflect for a moment, ho will bco no
sustaining power can ho derived except
from without tho animal. A post, tree, or
benm is just ns indispcusihlo to thu support
of n horse as to thu bupport of u man intent
on Biticide. A horso cannot hang himself
up in tho air by tho ferrets on his buck,
any rnoro than n man can hy pulling up.
wards nt his neck handkerchief.
Tho clieck-reiit should bo uhollshrd. It
wastes power. Its uso is unhealthy, for it
disturbs tho otherwise naturally nml equal
ly distributed vital forces. It shortens tho
iifo of n horso. It diminishes his speed
and lessens tho frou and quick action, so
essential to tho animal's safety and that of
his,drivor. It is of no nee, and cannot
confer dignity or graco to an nuimnl that
was mado by tho Loitl. Had man got up
the horso, ch'tck-reiiiR ami all other sorts of
contrivance would liuvo boon allowable not
only, but perhaps nocessary, hut tho work
of tho Great Artist cannot bo Improved up
on. Cunr. rou Fklo.ns. Uoil up in nny iron
vessel of sulllcient capacity (say four or
six quarto,) enough yellow dock root to
makoa strong liquor, whon sufliciuntly boil
cd, and whilo tho liquor is as hot as can ho
borno by tho hand, cover tho kuttlo with
flaunol cloth to koop in tho heat and steam,
and hold tho hand or finger nfluctcd under
tho cloth and in tho tUoam, nnd in flvo min
utes tho pain will coaso. If it bhould re
turn aftor n timo, boat up tho Bntno liquor
and do as before. In n euro performed in
this way, tho joints of (ho Augurs will bo
preserved, Scientific American.
Written for tlio Weakly (ln;tte.
E'oiitilut' IMiK.iitlon.
IIV W. II. HfKNCKII.
I'aii r Si:coni Ciwmhiiui.
I'maiUng r.rrun in rrgnnl In Ihc nature
mid end of lMucntton.
"(Ilili of HeMiu yl'.nr of no ilumlil nl
ruml.V poMcst ii iK'clili'il foiulnvRS fur ilo-nii-ktio
-iiiplo;niunls, nml from thin potlcul
uiiunrtl tlioY nulit tlii'iiui'lvcM to li'iirn till
tlio nctivii ilull'ii wlilcli Im'Ioiij; to iloiiiuMlo
lifo; ilwy iliuulil ilivoplnoiiiri froifi0f
tlvo I'lnVliiMtu'iit In tlio illllVrriit tlupnrl-
iiK'iils uf tho hiMiKi'liolil, tho kituhoii, tho
tmreurvtnmliii tu'wIUiwork, Vo., In onh-r I
ihnt tlioy mny liecnino welhliiforiiieil nml
bkillcil in nil tliuso nllhir. At thin iwrifil,
nUo. thi'V must Wcoiiio tii'iiunintutl with
liookt, i-inro theso nrn Ititvparnlily cotiiicc
teil nllli moileru culture. In (viiiirnl, too
L'tiMt earn cannot ho taken tlml that rheer
fiiliieH uhieh ii en lovely in nil should not
he lost hy study, or iipiiliciitinu to miy oili
er pursuit. It is delightful to lienr in cry
iinrl of tho Iioimo reioiind uilh tlioouni
l.llft ... HIV i v .v. ........ - j r
imiti.ii'a .... I .nrn. ili'lii'litfut is that l
vncity which so often enlivens homo nml
cheers nil its Innuilei.
".Modesty, clentdinuM, propriety in nil
respucts, ns well ns nil other femalolitucs,
will Indeed nmiiifeit themselves ipontauu'
oudy in vouiik iiiniiluna who linvo m.thecii
neylocteil or spoiltd In childhood; yet they
must ho earnestly cherished nml carefully
cultivated, nml "it is precisely nt tho no
eommencimj with tho eighth your that this
Is most necessary, hecniuo nt this no an
excited slnto of iiilnd with referenco to so
cial rt Intious supervenes, hy inonns of which
Iho mlli.siioss of childhood Is nnt to sulfur.
When it is horiiu in mind how entity tho
mind's simplicity nnd putity nr lost hy
ihallow fjosnip, hy iiiiyoulle, tijudlcious
treatment, nnd hy fondness for sllmlnc nml
nuhliu ilisnl.iv: when tho iiinuy examples of
I t .. I .
leuinlo llippancy, vnmty.nmi roijueiry.umi
meet usuvorywhure, nro taken into consid
eration, it will ho ohvious to every rullucl
In" mind that tho treatment, or. rather, nb-
sonco of proper trentment during thu itcrlutlj
of whiclfwo jfttcnk," LMo Uiiu CH ln
.1....I .iiriiiir.. fr.tritmnllt flf ftllr.ll llellCaOV
-.." m- 5 i Vi t-. i. f
nnd Underlies, ns to chciish in their mimls
n prominent mid ncuto suiiso of personal
wii-ieum.
Hut they nro not, on that account, lo
bo brought up to bo fragile, sensitive, or
ornamental plants. (lirls also have their
path of life to run, which is often enough
thorny, nnd tho niperities of whoso ntiuos-
phero they must ho prepared to bear, whilo
iff their homo they let their softening nnd
wnrimnL' It'fltt shine, nut, in onler toiuii',
exalted self-denial is necessary, and nothing . tny upon tho track twelve hours if 1 like
is so suruto commuicatothisns n Christian ou bd jour sweet life on that!'
education. Their school for Iifo will thero-1 'Wull, says our conductir, when you
foro bo home, with its joys, and, perhaps, 'ntnnd on tho track on my linio you've got
inorofrequeutly.it sorrows; and this school to buck to tho east end of llo sido track to
will bo tho best for developing iheir tondor Switch olf, or you'll kulclt It sumo dark
feelings, nnd to induct them gradually into ' night.'
their own beautiful nctivitius. I 'No,' says t'other one, 'I ain't n going to
"Tho tone of tho house, and of the entire 0 east end of tho track to switch olP cer
mode of treatment, should bo, both for boys mifn you live.'
and gitls, tho snmeiiveii, natural, sober.nml Wall, then you'll smashed to hell, sum's
friendly family-lone, if education is to ho i0u lu,.,'
edticntion.
tuccesslul. .Mtllimg allecteii, nouung sun
ami constrained, nothing pedantic ; but
throughout, unconstrained cordiality, cheer
fulness, nnd good humor, combined with
duo sobrietv and firmness in nil things,
which thu educator must require ; this is
what tho nature of children and of parents
demands."
Thu great length to which thoso remarks
havo already extended, will prevent mo
from entering into further detail as regards
tho prevailing errors in tho present hsteui
of popular education. I havo been more
tedious than I intended when I commenced
writing on tho present part of my subject;
and yet, much innro might ho written but
I forbear, and spare my readers' patience.
In concluding part second, I will usu tho
following passage from a sermon of Dr.
Uainsden. Ilo is Bhowing "ihu tendency
of all knowledge to form thu heart of a
nation."
"Wo will vontiire to say how, in tho mer
cy of (lodto man, this heart comes ton na
tioii,nud how itsoxorcisonrniroctlou appears.
It comes by priosts, by lawyers, by phllos.
ophers, by schools, by eduction, by tho
nurso'o cam, tho mother's anxiety, tho fath
er's sovero brow. It comes hy loiters, by
silonco, by eveiy nrt, by sculpture, painting
and pootry; by tlio song on war, on pence,
on domestic virtue, on a beloved and mag.
uanimoiis king; by tho Iliad, by tho Odys.
soy, by tragedy, by comedy. It comes by
sympathy, by love, by tho nunlago union,
by friendship, genorosity, meekness, toin
pornnco; by irtuo ami examplo of virtue.
It comes by sentiments of chivalry, byro
mauco, by music, by decnratioiiB mid mag
niliccuco of buildings; hythu culture of tho
body, by comforlablo clothing, hy fashion
in dress, by luxury and commerce. It
comes by seventy, tho melancholy, tlio bo
nihility of tho rotitilmmnrii: Jo' rulrn of po
liliioM, I'i'iiiioiilfH, fortiiiilillijii mili'iiii-iiitifii.
It comes liy rlfjhts iittiiinliinl upon law, l
loliulon, hy tliu until of ollli-J', hy llio veil
ornhlo tuni'inhly, I iv tlio jiidty,K' proccinioii,
nml ttumpolM, hy tho ilU);rn' nml pimiili.
invnt ofcrIiiiuliy iuhliofnMH, puhlloprny.
or, lty im'illnlioii,lty tho lllf, hy thu con.
scnrnllmi of chicchi'S, hy tlipjincrud funtiv.il,
hy tlio t'tklitvilriil h liinm
Whi'iiKo tho livnrt of n
nml choir.
i.itiini comes,
wo hiui) iiiirhiiiis, tiilliulonUy
iixiilnliivil.
Ami it imul miiitmr to uliKi iiiiihI nuful
ub!l(jtluii iiiii duty wo liifit & thoku from
whom this hontl tnKos its tmluto nml tihnpo
our lilnj,'. our princes, (inriiol.li'n, nil vnJio
ueiir tho li.nl(o of (illicit or honour, till
priests, Juilt's, seiinturs, plenilets, interiro
lets of l.iw, nil instructors of )nulh,nll sent
iunrics of eiliirntloii, nil pnronts,nlUenriicil
men, nil professors of sriunco nml nrt, nil
teachers of umiinvri. Upon them iWpinils
tho fashion of the nation's heiiit. Ily them
it is to hu chnstited, tcflued, nml patilled.
Ily them Is Jhe stato to loso ho chiu-ncti-r
nml titlu (ifllnt ho.ists of prny. Ily theui
nro tho Iron scnles lo lull, nml n ildn of
youth, honuty, fieshuess, nml poliih to como
upon it. Hy theui it Is to ho mado so tnmo
mid (untie, ns that n child may lend it."
A western Ijoeomotitii I'lroiiiau
lo Ills I'rlontl.
ToLiii.o, Nov. 12, lSftl.
I)i:aii Jim: Why don't on pack up
your plunder nml como hero i Wo liavu
rnro Sitl, I cnnUll uu joiirnn lntour
lifo on that. When I first camo out hero i
llmd lliunvr n (pmd deal. 1 shook every
ilny lor six months, nml then pit n !'iin(,'
ii very other day, Took moro quinliio than
n liois could iirnw. Alter n wmiojonumsii
up mked mo to run on his engine nml liro
I for him.
I " on won't shako Ion;; on my Incouio-
live," ays he, "Uv if pum kimt don ldtio
out yournger, ouu or two
eolllilous 'ill lix
)ou out complete.'
Wall, on this vuglno I went, nnd I hain't
shook since. Its bettor than s Kotngog.
Joo is n perfect brick. He'd ruthcr run
Into n train or drovu of cnltlu than nut.
YouM nbithi tiAsro ilin-K&A Hy nornis
times. o had a httlo fun I other night,
nnd I'll tell ) on how It wai. Tho other
train that wo met every lii(dit nt I'ile.iip
station, has been lit thu habit of holding on
to tho track on our time, nnd tho romluc
i tor hnd two or threo j.iwimnbout it. Our
conductor says to thu other one, sa hu:
'If you don't get olf on totho other track
n litllo livelier in futur, I'll run into jolt
'()in0 night or other hum's you live,
I Then tho oilier says, 'Voa run inter mo
nml you II uet cleaned out.ssrtam. An I II
. 'Wnll, ou just try it on.
Mull, you n see.
'Wall, jnu'll see.'
'Vou'll innko a heap by runnin inter mo,
I reckon.'
Wall, you'll mnku a henp by holding on
to tho track that's sartaiu.'
Well von see. that'll the Kind of talk we
had ouco or twice, nml tho other night,
about half.patt two in the morning, they
got to Iho slntioii ahead of us nml held on.
Tlio conductor goes inter tlio depo nml
cockn his feet up on to thu stovu as cool as
u cucumber, lenvlu' thu train eight pass,
eager cars uu Ihu track. Tlio depo man is
n wldo-awako chap, am! because his hu itch
mill was sick and oil' duty, ho kuowed hu'd
got to turn thu bwitcli if Iho tiaiu was put
on to tho sido track, for us to go by. .So
ho went In and axed the conductor if ho
waru't a goiu on to the sido track?
'Y.a-a-s, I supposo so.'
Wnll,' says ho 'you can't ho a milu too
quick about it now mind 1 tell you.'
Tho conductor went out kinder slow and
tolled tho tho engineer to go to tho west
end of tho side (rack and switch off, but
before they got thero they met us, nnd then
wau't thuio Bomu fun I Jou .Smushup says
to me
'What's Ihcin fellers trying to do ? Ain't
they on our timo f Yes,' say ho, looking
at Ids watch, 'Ihu track bolougs to u, ami
I'm going to let her tip su re's you live.'
What,' says I, 'you goiu' lo run thebo
tialus together!'
'hook hero,' says ho, 'I'm i mining on my
own timo tho track belongs to me, mid I
don't bco any signals, bo I ain't to hlamo if
thoro'rt u biimsh. Smiio lime, between you
and me, wo'd always niter bu ready to jump
when wo get near tho depo ;' and ho gin mo
a wink, an if to say, " hook out for your.
heir!"
It's n miuhty straiuht track across thu
country nt l'ile up, ami wo sliuck tt pietty
- i. ... . I .1
j
gomi gall, Joe nan mi mum upon inn
Protix, liul ho kept n looking mighty sharp.'
Mlv Cemgol'says he, 'we'll head 'em
of. "Thny can't get up totho switch in
lime. (Jet ready j p. No you iicudift. I
'Twon'l hu n killer, for the'vo stopped and I
um i.n.ti limr ..ll'llin iillmr inv I'm nfriild
wo hhstl inn into them though.' I
I did jump though, before aim struck,
but Joo stuck to tho midline, llo's used
lo ll, ai.dknou.id how hurd slio'il.hlt, to
pouini. I ho iiniuagi' wain i no gteai.
Tho I. 'on, t'other machine, was smashed up
coiisiili rnl.le, and onu h.iggngocar and ono
passenger wern't no good afterwards.
Thi'ii all tho couplings nml platforms in
hold trains were smashed up. Wnlotour
cow-catcher and lantern, but tho bully ma
chine tun just as well ns ever that morning.
Well, thu piiKsetigofs screamed. One
man's amde was smashed, iiiic shoulder was
nt. i a.
ml out of mint, and one it issi-tmer had his
et? ciuslieil lo moats. i e luou tmiinii
. . - II. . ( 1 ...
the depo, nod a young surgeon cut oil' his
leg at (ho thigh. It's probable ihnt he'll
die. 'Ilin vouug doctor hnsgot to hanging
loiml tlio I'ilo-up depn for ihu train every
night. I bi'liuve he's cut oil' four legs thorn
in two mouths. I beard him tell Hill Itob
inson ihnt ho was abend ycl. I got n sight
of this fellow sute. II" said 'I beard tho
jaw betwiiiii tho conductors ycstciiluy, nnd
I rer'xoncd on a job this morning.
The man that was smashed was going
homo to his family in Wisconsin. It took
a lung time to clear tho track, and tho pas.
hcngori growled like fun, after they got
over their flight.
Now, Jim, como out here, and get on n
train with a gtitly conductor and engineers,
and ou'll have n heap of fun, Hire's you
live. .SAMIT.I". I'lRCATKIl.
(ifiotvN IIiiii.ix The (lermaushavoa
queer way uf making "brides," nml nf do
ing sumo other things in tho courting and
innrrvlng way.
When nmnidf u Is betrothed, alio is called
"btlde," and so continues til) shu becomm
n'''nlnJK.,,,-l'.UK:SiM.SIitlwCLtigcdtJ.M
Is n "bride."
Tho lovers, immediately ujon tho bo
troth.il, exchange plain gold rings, which
are worn ever afterwards, till death parts
them.
Tho wouiiu wears hers on thu the third
finger of the left hand, and tho man his on
tho right hand. When tho Initio becomes
a wife, her ring is transferred to thu third
linger of the right hand, and there it re
mains. Tim husband always wears his ling just
as tho wife wears hers so that if you look
upon a tnau'shaud you can tell whether hu
is inotlgaged or not. Thero is no cheating
for him over after no coquetting with tint
gitls, ns if ho wet.) an unmarried man ; for
lo! tho whole story is told by his finger
ting. A married Viennese lady,- was much
mmmed when (old that in our country we
only "ting" the woman, but let thu husband
run nt luit;o unm.irkiil.
"Oh, that is ilraadful '" said sho more
than half shocked. "Think, there is l-rcd
onek, my husband only twenty-four so
young, ho handsome ami nil tho girls
would bu taking him for uu iiumnrried man,
nnd he milking lov olo him! Oil, it Is dread
ful ' Is it not ( They would never know
ho was iiiirrieil! How can jou do so in
your country I would not live there with
Frederick for tho world !
fcVTho (Jueen of i'.nglniid, on her lato
journey from ISahnoral to Loudon, tele
gi imbed that she would stop all night at
Hull, tho loyal people of whiult town had
never enjoyed thu honor, though often re
quested, l a visit from Her Mnjestv. At
very bhort notice great preiiaratloim were
inailo lor iter reception, ami uio town ex
pcmlcd X'l'.,f)U() for tho occasion. Tho na
count of (ho affair dwells upon thu coudo
scension of tho (Jueoii lu milking from tho
railway to tint hotel ninety yanls anil
says that tho royal children "did not forget
to mark their suiibo nf thu reception nccor
tied to Ihem, with a becoming air ofscrioitt
dignity,"
Tin: N.wn run that wis lmumiis in,
Tlio Chemistry of Common Life states
that tobacco is pioiluced to the extent 1,.
IBO.OOO.OOO lbs. annually, ami is used
among aoO.OOH.OOO of men; Opium,
among HHI.OOO.OOO or men; Indian Hemp
among ttftO.OOl) of men ; lleteLNut, (or Pi
natig.) among 100,000,000 of niou ; Cocoa,
among 10,000,000 of men. Littlois known
in Kiiiopo of tho use of hemp as n narcot
in ; yet in tho east it is familiar to tho volup.
tuary in tlio Opium and Tobacco of other
legions. Tho valuo of thcuoai tides Is fix
cd nt XTiO,000,000 nimually--$:i02,r00,-000.
raiiwram
I, in; I'uiisiiiivr.iis. A fea captain, wri
. . .... ... ..-. ...
d-i. ,.. (1... If ii.l.i.ir..i.l liiutmlii I I. lull!, ,,!,.
k in.,,,i. ,nr.,... ......... ....
dangers of hhipwreck, says; "A fesllier
pillow has a buoyant power fully equal t
half a dnen of tlio host life-preservers over
invented, and that a common mattrcst will
malum raft amply sulllcient to float a man
Utld lllltlK.
''''!" I" Important, If trim. All mattress.
s on shit, board might bo mado of granu-.
tod cork, and thus bo rendered Iruntwor
pl.thy hf.)-preserves.
t i .....
Tho ttinn who courted an Investiga.
lion says that is not near so ngreenhlo as
courting a charming woman.
A retired achooluisster excuses hi
passion for angling by saying that, from
constant habit, ho never feel quite himself
unless he's handling thu rod.
Tho iii.iii "behind thn ago" was over-
tltrowri by lb., advancing civilization ol tho
H'. - .iMiiM.f f,..lt..rt.f I. ill
b '-"-
Why docs a regular smoker iavati.
ably tuako nbout thirty abortive attempts lo
ignite a lucifer on thu bowl of his pipo, be
fore hu tonduaceiids to light it on thu bot
tom or thu box.
Why nro soldiers liku clocks? Hi
cause their first duty is to "mark time."
When a young lady grows quito
impatient, is alio stouter or taller?
'Hieru is nn old lady in Troy who
is in full of sympathy, that 'jvcry timo her
ducks take n bath in mud gutter sho dries
their feet by thu fire, lo keep them from
catching cold.
Ladies of a certain ago may, per
haps, envy tho omcrur of China one of his
luxuries ; his birth-day is celebrated only
once in ten yeats.
A Hungarian desiring to compliment
a young lady upon her domestic habits,
said "Oh, Miss, how homely you are."
Tho boil capital for young rnon to
start .with IttJifc. is JndnstrjvuofxUMiisa.
ami industry. It is better llinti all luo
friends and cash ever raised,
Tho ague rages so iu somo parts of
Indiana, that the people are obliged to sleep
with com cobs in their mouthi, to keep from
shaking their teeth out
A chaplain at n Stato Prison was
aiked by a pious friend how his parishonors
were. 'All under convictions,' wm tho re
ply. An old lady was lately at church
entered as tho congregation were rising for
prayer. 'Lai' said she, curtysing, 'don't
risu on my account.'
According to tho latest Paris, fash
ions, ali petticoats are mado with flounces.
(lather go to bed suppetlcss tlun
in debt.
Wo know a lawver who gets so
confused by n pross of business, that ho
frequently mistakes ono parchment for an
other; in fact ho has been known to "tako
tho will for tho deed."
Tho dilfercnco between meeting a
lady and that of a bank noto is from somo
what to a considerable. Tho first may be
dono with tho silver of tho moon, but tlio
other requires that of the mint. Having
tried both, wo most decidedly prefer tho for
mcr. Young gentlemen should, however,
test Itoth.
Uninvited guests sil on thorns.
The dlllerenco between n carrl.igo
wheel and a carriago horse, is tlint ono goes
best when it U tired and tho other don't.
As n proof of tho hardness ol tho
times, thoro is iv man iu Ohio who kills
halfn pig utn timo.
Mrs. Hollyhock thinl.s it "rnthor
queer" that tho rising of n little quicksilver
in n glass tuho should maku thu weather so
awful hot.
A Turk wears so many fleas iu his
slilrl. that a matliemaliciau has just demon
strated thnt if they hln.idd nil jump nt once,
they would carry him ucross Iho Ilospho-
nib.
'Hildget, whore's tho tea-kettle!'
Plcnso, inarm, Mr. O'Noil, iho now linurd
er, is washing his feet in it.' Tho last won
of O'Noil, ho was going down tho front
stoop, in ivdvnuco of an empty coal scuttle.
An editor iu Missouri has discovered
that there is a war iu Kuropo, of&omukind,.
but what (hoy nro lighting about ho don't
know. Hois no worso off than ngoudi
many other folks.
"