THE NEVy NORTHWEST, THURSDAY, OCTOBER 13, 1881.
CURRENT DRIFT.
METRICAL MELANGE.
M I Sl ' K I . LA N K4 H ' m A I V K It T I H K Mr! N TK
A wealthy maiden la.lv .f Stettin, l'omeraniu,
v.- left $nO,miO to foun l mi asylum for forty single
women over fifty yearn of egf and ten old bache
lors.
When a hen -it- uu, an empty china eg you
cull it Mind instinct. liui do yon cull it when
a girl eeti iter affection on an envuty-headed
noodle ? .
"Io you eateh on ?' affttetl tlie oinnihtiK driver,
as lie Iwnng his whip lush to the rear. "Yea, II
tumble," answered tlie small ioy, gl lie rolled into
the gutter.
Tliere is only a -Ik-lit dift'erenee haUMMLM hand
OlglMI and an aeeordion. . One is worked with a
crank, and the other em-rally hy a "erank."
Yiinkt r Stff Mtnon.
The.tjuee.il of Knpland I" w.ytb so,nnn,ntt. "It
is easier for a eamel to irn'frfroufirh the eye of a
needle than for a rjch uinn to enter The kingdom
of (Jod." No wonder that they way "(Tod save the
.Queen !" aYew lluv n , r.
An Illiiioia man, with a foresight worthy of a
letter .cause, implied the question, on a railroad
train, and now the maiden ia at a Iomm to decide as
to which county she had hetter commence pro
ceeding in for a breach of promise.
Madame Pompadour had a fan made of lace
which cost .'10,000, and which it took nine years
to manufacture, mi the Philadelphia ABnm says.
This must he the original "Pompadour waste" wo
have sometimes heard about. Unveil Cuurier.
OX THK ItKATtr OFoll-SON PU V t
l.lvis of Mormons oft remind ua
That by following thetr rrc.-.W
We may (lit- .ui-l leave Itch I lid an
si.inii. i clouds of vidowV weed.
aBwiNo.
I puss at est window diurnal l ;
! throws me a smile evanescent,
That aiesa iettelBg Im internally,
Ahd yet In infernally plcusunt.
At her window" she sew, this supernal she
Ah ! why In ii ji fcirtrrtrf ar la Haalaf T
Ala-! Iii its center, diurnal ly,
II. i inonogrum she ban I.. . n Ktltrlillijf !
New York is enforcing a law against young
men's sending tlieir wives oaek to tlreir parents
to be supported. Something new turns up every
day to Itrush the roseate hue and gundy glitter
from the face of tuittriinony. -It trait free V.
"You should have seen the situation of her
lips," said the youn' rl rk, enthusiastically.
"Tire situation?" began 'hit friendi "-Yes, tire
situation of lier lips." "What did you dot' "I
graei the situation. That's what I did. In
fact, I grasped the situation several times before I
left."
A prominent eitiaeii was being propelled home-
: I M I I 1 1 . I 11 . L i " Z I 1
warn oy h laiiniiit comreit servant tai.e one pigui
last week, when they suddenly came to a halt.
"Whassher matter now'.'" asked the prominent
citizen. "Par's a man dead drunk on da side
walk." "( Jimme a lamp-post to hold up, and you
dntghl off inisherablc drunken bcasht by hish
legshs."
tivVitere dec the b4 -edna eonie from ?" was
asked a street-car conductor. "That's more'n I
"know," he amid, "where 'hey come from in the
first place, it's mostly women that give 'em to
lis. Ymi see, when a man gets hold of a had half
dollar, he don't feeriike passing it off himself, so
lie just gives it to his wife and don't say anything
about it."
N till AS VOW. '
"u. I (JatTV t'n nan I will not wed,
art aVal"! fowl It P loud she said.
'I should every living creature die.
And none Im left hut Inn and I,
1 would not wed old darter's son
The bow-legged, wall-eyed son of a nun !"
"The .wan," the said, " the lake's clear hri-asl
May fmrter for the ground-hog' nest; '
T(ie AweN fl. ree stream may i-a. k ward turn,
Tbe jimxI priest yell ! May I he tiurn !
Hal I, were all these murvelN don. .
Would neyer wed nhl 'JulTer'H soa
The kinx U-kniM .1, lop-eured sou of a Kim !"
Ntlll where the hupfra( la her .'t;
VM swan still laVi s her purple leH ;
still downwanl flows tin- A w. fk IM rler,
, Ami will, no douht, flow tlum forever;
Hut Noru'ii heart Is lost and won
sin 's wadaaa Ui id QaflhVs stn,
'fav rltiK-honed.Nipavlned son of jj nun.
O rr I C K T O U 1 U I NER8.
a s,; . i
j.
We are now opening our
T O O
or.
MILLINERY GOODS!
IMPORTED DIRECT FROM THE EASTERN MANUFACTURERS
Special Inducement Offered to Milliners Starting Business.
The Freahnea of our Cooda and the Low Prioea muat Draw the Atten-
, 1 ttMi mt ill fiiaaa Bnpafrg ,
I
r
A I T! M .N.
How dMd rlie hang the leaves upon the tr. e,
Kaltp here an.l tliere the rurflle of Hie leave
- fHselosirw ttmjP lif "Wltltl or of Hold,
W iwoi iik Ms that the year is xi-owing ld4
Tin- .hrpl- clusters load the Ii. ndlliif Mne,
And In the eorn-fleld yellow iumikllts shine,
SlIk'iCeKtlve of the very Ix-st of pies.
I'lump pears and hlushin appli-s feast I In- eves ;
And oh! how mellow seems the golden lichl
I'ouied hy the -ii ii o'er valley and on height;
UaiUi; fur-xOl hUlx. half iUd IuJjjuu- xd Ulius,
Otjri the pawtntfag ilatsti la tea view. ,
Hi, glorious Autumn days I.Ike wine, I drink
Your wondrous heauty. And it makes me think
It's getting very egtt.l at ev ami dawn,
ttrtw shall I get my ovoreoat fiom pawn?
How (piickly we forget the rules of arithmetic
as learned in school, is ahown in the fact that a
1 imminent dry goods merchant in Itoaton worked
lalf an hour on the following proositioii, and
failed to give an answer: "If four men build a
wall five feet high jn four lavs, how long will it
take six men to build a wall eight feet high iu
ae.veti days
At Chautauqua the other day a little girl was
asked if she was a Methodist. "Oh., no!" she res
rdicd. "I am a Brethren, and my mother is a
Brethren to.M These were of theVnited Breth
ren. At Montreal one of the Tlyniouth Jirethren
was asked why they never spoke of the Plymouth
Sisters. "Oh!" was his answer, "the Brethren
embrace the Sisters." Imh iitlrut.
A minister was questioning his Sunday school
innce'rulug Kutychn the young map who, U-
tening to the preaching of the Apoatle Paul, fell
asleep, and falling down, w i- n up dead.
"What," he said, "do we learn from this solemn
event?" When tbe reply from a little gift came
I .at and prompt, "Pit-as, sir, ministers should
earn not to preach too long sermons." N. V.
i)f server. - . '
An impecunious tramp stepcd into a restau
rant in Nebraska to feed, and then .started out
without paying. The indignant man hurled a
niece of m w pie after the retreating guest, strik
ing him in the head and fracturing the skull.
The iMtaMrantouif baatt attaatad on a. ghncgB 1
of committing an assault with a-deally weapon,
with intent to commit bodily injury. f'nthitm
1 init io pi .
A Boston man took oeoMien to remark to his
wife : "My dear, the infinite is always silent. 'Tis
the finite only that sjieaks." Bhe came from Cape
..!. and was accordingly a dull woman, wno
didn't take hints, hut she never forgot the remark,
and long afterward, wbeti some friends expressed
a wish to visit the deaf and dumb asvlum, she
I'uulAUUied to her husband and asked: "'h. t days,
my love, is the asylum of the infinite Often forthe
reception of finite visitors?"
The Interesting Knglish Papers. The following
is a copy of the Commons' amendments to the
.amendments made by the horde to the amend
ments made by the Commons ro the fiords'
amendments, and Commons' reasoaatur disgree-
Ntng to certain df the said Lorae amendments:
The Coin moils ropor to amend the amendment
made by the Lords to the amendment made by the
Cojiijumm to tlie Lord' amendment iu page 2,
line 5, by leaving out, etc. London Time.
Practical Religion. An Kaslern church is
credited with taking its building fund into Wall
atreet recently, and increasing It from 40,000 to
ILV..000. The new church will have all the latest
improvements and a big steeple, and will be
known as the church of "St. Paul Prefened."
But another Kastern church tried the same plan,
and got caught on a bear market. They have
concluded not to build just now, but to get along
with the old church for the present. Toledo
lllade.
Recently it seems to us as though a large num
ber ol people throughout tliiai country have noth
ing to do but write postal cards to newspaper pub
lisher, asking for a sample copy nf their paier.
Perhana theae people think we are publishing a
paper just to wear out our young life, but that is
- where they fall into a common 4"rr"Tf" W 0 (aft
noivill oS' TRAMP.
Ys, I am come from the great State of Mlehlgan ;
Quicker than 'powder I had to deeamp;
oh, It's the worst place you rvereouhl wish a man.
If tils profession Is thai of a trump.
Mr. Maguire, of our nohle fraternity,
Wot In a fight with a widow, named Nye;
Mm was a tiger, you hrt, now, mi.I durn It, hi
not sued a wmmBm Hfi ananati anM ilgvZ
Hsli apreadjde news of the widow vleliii lolls
Worn. -n ff grit are admired out that way:
Ho for theMridow the cornhat wan glorious
Hhe gotJen offers of marriage next ibry.
Tlia t.Hias puhllshed, and 'tis very eafluu.
All o'r the State, -lty, village, or eanip.
Armed with a eluh, and intentions inlurious,
Kverj Ifliuu.'d whloW Is Hfter a tramp.
' aVMa J"it.
THK BOUKB WITH l,osKTS.
How dear t.o the heart of the housekeeping woman
Are coin fort of whleli so few arehlt-ets tell :
Viet children, good servants, snd plenty of nsun In
The well-ilttvd mansion In wliteli lin y must dwpll.
ifut Hrsf the Idessings kind Fortune can give her,
If she in the elty or 'country ahlde.
Is thai which she longs for and covets forever
The hig, airy closet, her Joy and her pride;
The roomy, clean closet, the Well-ordered closet,
"The hig, airy closet, her Joy and her pride.
The hnnw may he perfect from garret to cellar,
Well -lighted. Well aired, with cold water end hot;
And yet, to Hie eye of the feminine dweller.
If closet I esij, all Is lis If II Were not.
How oft she ins sunk like a dove that Is wounded,
Uo,w oft she has secretly grumbled and sighed.
Because she saw not, though with all else surrounded,
Tea hfgalry closet, her Joy and her pride;
The roomy, clean closet, tin- well-ordered closet.
The iti, airy closet, her Joy and her pride.
K.eid husbands, who fain would have home he an Kdon,
For oii and your Kves all complete km a wholp,
To re4 In, la write in, to sleep . In, to- feed In,
Forget Tiot the eln..s no dearO-the soul ;
Hut hull. I them in corners. In BOOM, and In crannies,
Where.-r u closet may harlstr or bide,
An! hi our Marj s, our Kales, and your Ainin s.
The hi, airy closets, their Joy and their pride:
The roomy, clean closets, the well-ordered closet.
The hig, airy closets, their Joy ami their pride
AVlc 'itt k .Vel,
Robbins & Yates,
LEWIS & STRAUSS,
' 120 Flxa3t street, PoxrtlAXXcS., Or.
COLUMBIA COMMERCIAL COLLEGE
W. M. JAM IN. I'm si leill.
J OHM D. II W I N. N. . rclnr y .
An iiiMtitittion Hltoni
ing to the Young and
Middle-Aged of Klther
Sri the faetllH.-s I.. I '.-
Utinlng a Fit Al'TK' l.
HFslNFss Fht'l'A
l li S In the sin. i si
jios-ihe time and at the
most reasonahlc .rules.
Kuril Iicpurlmcut Is
first-class, and Is under
the special charge of ex
perienced! teachers. The
School. I too mMd Hie
' .ii n : i n j. I : .m are o
united as lo secure the
advantages of Isith.
Address
mil .Im
eky HA
Fir M4NUlrliiK a thor
ough knowledKe of
lliislh.es or the urt of
Ptaaetaaaie, thin inatL
tjitlon taken rank
among tlw Im-hI. I .idles
puniue tea. same course
of lutrucloii .is gentlemen.
The COLUMBIA
OOatMKMCtAfc 'Ii
I FUF. Jnl'HN Al giv
ing full III f.e tin ill. .11
concerning the Hchoul,
will Is-sent free on application.
A. (.OODNOUGH,
j ' r
No. 48 ' Nircel. I'.irllninl. Or..
CONTRACTOR AND BUILDER,
...IIKAI.rK IN
Marbleized Slate Mantels, Tile and Slate
" - Hearths, Tito. ;
"1 A .
HI Mar
1
FISHEL k ROBERTS
Stock of Fall Clothing!
18 RECEIVED,
And Excels any Prior Stock ever
Imported to Oregon.
. JT I'oNslsTS Or"
ALL THE NEW NOVELTIES
. . I
MAM'K ACTrKKII FOR
mii, Youiiia' aai4 Bflrjrai w-nr,
ALL AT POPULAR PRICES.
V A
0. W. PRENTICE I CO.,
Leading Music Dealers,
I
H I.K AiiF.NTM FOIt
THE MATCHLESS
FIHIIKL 1 O II K It T H ,
Corner Flret end Alder streets.
u i , . s.i -
aaa i i its i sunn.
IMltTl.ANll
(IUKOijX
Are still In Ihe tl I.I. am) . ..n' inn.' to offer
siierlor lnduccni-nt on all good In
their line. We are not selling out.jat coat
or 1 1 ing to clime out hiisim , hut If you
wnnl sum long In the line of Helwres,
Picture Frames, WlmloW Corn lee, Meture
Hall, or any variety of Art ;!, you will
not lie wasting your time if you call at our
trying to aconite a competence, so that we can
carry a Sum no r cane and have a upecial mug at
the barber b'iop with our monogram on it, ami
that ia whv wr Male for ftrtrt"- mmpttmm when tt I
aeenis unladylike and edcentric. I'eople who in
cloee atampM Will be waited upon just m rood as
the mailing brlfrade can catch up a little, but
thoae who inclose a chunk ui UtTy in a postal
Hps iq"f 'flT
place snd esamlneour atoek and price.
I
should you desire an Al Organ or Piano,
or anything In the line of small MuhIchI
typed brain will anxiously watch through the
gloaming till a late hour, but thejr will wait in
vain. Boomerang.
Merchandise, give u s call. You will h .
cheerfully welcomed and ahown good"
with pleasure, whether you purchase" or
mt B-YBttlNM a VATJCej;
USE ROSE PILLS.
Free
to
Everybody!
A Beautiful Book for the Asking!
BY API'I.YINi I'FIIMUNAI.I.Y AT THK NKAKBHT
ofhec of THK HlNiiFH M M F M i l KIM; Vu. i.r h
I-.stul i . in I if at .h distance i, hii.v '" mtsoii Will le pre
sentel with a hcMutlfully illustrutcd copy of a New IkMik,
entitled
GENIUS REWARDED.
The Story of the Sewing Machine,
'ontslntnga handsome and costly steel engraving front is
plece ; it I no, JN finely engravet WOtsI cuts, and ImiiiiiiI In sn
eiulsirale hlue ana gold llthogriiphetl cover. No charge
jrhatc.vct Is made for this handsome lask, which can If
ohtnlntsl yilly hy HppllcHtlon hi the branch and aubordl
liate oflt'-es of The singer Msnufaclurlng Co.
THE SINQER MANUFACTURING CO.,
Principal tlfTice, M l'n ton Muare, New York.
PIONEER WOOD-YARD.
On Ksmond I k , at foot of Morrison street.
SHEET MUSIC ANO MUSICAL MERCHANDISE
or ait iiin.iv
Hcnd for l atHlogtic.
D. W. PRENTICE A CO.,
Ju.H)
107 First Street, Portland, Or.
SEWING MACHINE!
SIMPLE, NOISELESS. LIOHT-RUNNINO !
The Pioneer In All Improvements !
MilriiiK h m-'IhII .
as . . . . k . i a ai J g gl I I. - - - - -
aTarTI 11? !fmrTnrr" T Ft tt fr
i . r. hi mn . luoii.
A I.I. KIMM OF OOI.
.jajuiiJjisiM.hauU.ud UcIlvcjed.Ui i S IJ. wyta. a-jrauusa.
II ..,t. v. i.l. "Ml
noli tf
Jb'MUM HOHJNMKN, I'niprletor.
liiilrlng a sims-I
f. in 4e Halmon Mt., .et. He. on. I and Third.
PIONEER STEAM DYEINO AND CLEANINQ WORKS,
HI' MADE Ce.,
M Third atreet, i t. Halmon and Taylor, Portland, Orafos.
Ilka, Velreto, Lsslsi' ersaMs, Vlsasa, HsMllbw, ft
A i l..ikl..
Cleaned and Dyed In any Mhttde or Color.
. , z
-"