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VOLUME III.
DP OTi.TXiA.3NT) , OREGON, rXiIXAY, JUNE G, 1874.
Terras.
LEE;
OB
Tlio Spheres' of the Scxra.
BY XHS. A. J. DOSWAT.
fEmered, according to Act of Congress, In the
year 1STJ, liy Mrs. A. J. Dnn'lway, In the office of
the Librarian or Congress ai Washington City.
CHAPTER IL'
In the low, rough loft overhead of
the living room of the Lees was a rude
sleeping apartment in which were two
beds of & pattern quite as primitive as
the cottage or cabin to which they be
longed. One of these beds served for
the nightly use of Henry, Jim and one
of the twins, while the other accommo
dated Fan and Sue and Tot. The re
maining twin and the baby usually
slept with Amio below stairs, iu a bed
placed foot to foot with her mother's.
The advent of tho stranger was the
occasion for a general disarranging of
the family roost. The mother ud
daughter held an earnest, confidential
conversation in the loft, which resulted
in an arrangement for Fan and Sue to
sleep with their mother, while Dan, the
blue-eyed twin, should share the bed of
the visitor.
"Henry's bed is better than Fan's,
suppose we give him that," suggested
the mother.
"Hen and Jim will both grumble at
being disturbed about their rights,"
growled Amie. "I've been so mortified
with the whole batch of 'em to-night
that I have half a notion to run away."
"Daughter, do you mean to kill me?"
queried the mother, wildly. "You
know I've nothing In the world worth
living for but you," and sho sobbed
hysterically as sho held the pillow be
tween her teeth while drawing on a
coarse muslin slip of snowy whiteness.
"If I'm all you have your life's a fail
ure," said the girl.
"Ob, Amie, my little darling, why do
you talk so?"
"Because I mean It; that's all."
Amie looked ruefully around tho rude
apartment. It was in sad disorder, and
no wonder, for what with old boots and
pantaloons, guns and fishing tackle, and
bats and coats in formidable array on
one side, and the rude paraphernalia of
the three girls' toilets upon the other, a
broken chair or two, a cracked looking
glass which puckered and scattered the
different portions of your features as
you gazed, aided by the uncertain light
of a hole in the wall; a boot-jack and
shinny bat and the wheels of an old
hand-wagon, there was littlo show for
making the place attractive.
"Amie, it's no use," said the mother.
"Let us put the stranger and the big
boys down stairs, and we and the girls
will come up here to sleep."
"Yes! and have a nice time going
down In the morning to get breakfast
before he's up ! Catch me !" and Amie
brought down her foot with startling
emphasis.
"What's that row about?" bawled
Henry from below.
This brought Amie and her mother to
a sudden realization that the children
must be hurried off to bed; but nil at
tempts at a private understanding with
them as to the change of sleeping pro
gramme proved a failure, and the
stranger, tired as he was, feeling that he
was an intruder, found it impossible to
sleep, so deeply was he aunoyed by, and
interested in this strange family, where
thero was such a mixture of tho refined
and uncouth, philanthropic and selfish
Amie had settled her tired self upon
the bed, and was just counting over one
hundred for the twentieth time in
fruitless effort to woo tho drowsy dream
god, whose form, heretofore Intangible,
would persist in appearing to her mental
senses in the guise of the handsome
stranger, when her mother, iu a low,
tender voice, began a conversation.
"Amie, my dear, I should die if
should lose you," putting her arm ner
vously around her in the darkness,
"Y'ou're a foolish mother, then, for I
am not worth dying for. But what on
earth made you think you were going
to lose me 7"
uaning, you Know mat you are
good and refined and beautiful. You
a llta finlt? tnn fT mxr nnilrlt-Ati Innf I.. 1
any way taues alter my moincr, ana
you have been my only ray of sunshine
in all my dark married life of twenty
years."
"Nonsense, mother; you've told me
that bo often that It's dreadful stale."
"But somebody will come who cannot
appreciate you as I do; somebody who
never deprived hiniseir 01 a single in
dulgerice for your sake, and only fancies
vou 1)ppjiiic! tho Dosscssion of such a
prize will bo an additional luxury; and
he will tell you that you are good aud
beautiful, and you'll listen and believe
him; and instead of thlnklug that what
he says is 'dreadful stale,' you pant for
his praises as the hart for tho brook.
men, some nay, ne'll carry away
my precious flower, aud she'll bask for
a while in the sunshine of a love that
gratifies him In its bestowal; and then,
wuen Bicuness comes, aud suffering;
wuen noart-acnes ana dreaded mother
throes, which no man can know, shall
be her constaut portion, she will find
too late, that the love sho considered
necessary to her existence is a phantom,
ana ine law anu tuc power and the
, pleasure and tho privileges are all on
tho aide of the stronger party in tbo
marriage firm; and then, my daughter
AMIE AND HENRY
will remember her poor, suffering!
mother, and wish herself dead." I
"Sh-s-se!" said Amie; "don't talk so
loud; the strauger will hear you."
"Amie, dear, you are already In love
with that man."
A silvery laugh was Amie's hearty
response, and she added, presently:
"My mother Is a wonderful prophetess.
S appose I should become enamored.
"Who knows but ho. may have a dozen
wives? You know men sometimes do
theso things. Besides, what would a
well-bred man with city airs and any
amount of self-complacency want of a
rustic country maiden with no dowry
but a set of rude, obstreperous brothers
and sisters, a drunken, shiftless old poke
of a father, the best mother in the
world, and a pair of clumBy hands,
made awkward by the constant drudg
ery of the barn-yard and kitchen ? This
stranger will go away to-morrow, and
will never think of me again, no matter
what I may think of him."
Mclvln Hastings had beard every
word. A rift in the rude floor of tho loft
immediately nbovo his bead had con
veyed the sound of their voices to his
ears, and he was by no means an un
willing eaves-dropper, however unwit
tingly bo may have listened.
"I believe I could mako an easy con
quest here," he soliloquised; "and by
Maud Muller and tho fates, I'll try!"
Breakfast-getting was a noisy hour
among the Lees. Amie arose beforo it
was dawn and awakened Fan, urging
her to get up and help her wiih the
milking and other out-door labors, for
this was no Yankee family in which the
men-folks saw tbo necessity of taking
the rougher part of the chores off of the
shoulders of tho women. The father
was a Southron, born and bred, and be
lieved that other manly exercise
about the house than smoking, chewing
and giving orders was derogatory to
masculine dignity.
Fan had no intention of getting up on
this particular morning. "You just
want to show smart because there's
company! Go and do tho mllkin'
yourself!" she said, snarllngly.
Amie did not expostulate. She know
that by so doing she would only bring
on a scene which would arouse tbo
back-woods volubility of her big broth
ers and end in her own vanqulshment;
so sho tied an old shaker over her un
combed curls, and taking up her palls,
went forth, as she had regularly done
for ten long years so many years, and
so far back the vista stretched as sho
thought over It that morning that she
felt that she was really growlngold.
The misty dampness of the night be
foro had settled into a chilly autumn
rain. The cow yard was miserably
muddy and disagreeable, and tho work
was hard. Wading through the mud to
her ankles was as displeasing to Amie,
or any other naturally refined woman,
as the samo task would be to a canary
bird. But tens of thousands of delicate,
ideal women do such things dally,
while men who revel in villainous
grog and dirty tobacco julco and smoke
often sit with shining boot heels on
empty dry goods boxes, drumming out
their worthless strength iu aimless
idleness.
Now, we know whit Is coming somo
noble-minded gentleman, who would
willingly do anything that Is rough and
disagreeable, rather than see a dainty,
pstted daughter of fortune, his own wife
or child perhaps, compelled to soil her
clothing or fingers, or sprain her deli
cate wrists to do it, yet where is the
man who will voluntarily step aside
from his own enjoyment to relieve the
physical burdens of poor and lowly or
degraded women, whom fate has thrown
upon the tender mercies of coarse and
brutal men, whose tendcrest merclos
are
cruel? "Wo own that we would
gladly write a story of real life in which
all masculine elements would figure as
tho grand protecting oaks of which
novelists and statesmen tell us, to
whom all women might look for that
delightful protection which man vainly
Imagines that ho grants to them, and
which no woman would refuse were it
but granted her aa a right and duty.
I Tint an 1... . ... tf To
the most exacting man must pardon us
u wo reuiBo to step from the pedestal of
practical facts concerning things that
are to ueai in nights or a fertile Imagina-
lion concerning things that nro not.
But while wo have been moralizing
Amie has milked her last cow. and is
just ready to carry her foamlntr palls to
tue nousc. The stranger, of whom sho
had been thinking, accosts her, and of
fers Ills assistance,
"You are early this morning, Mis3
Cinderella," he said, cheerily.
meant to be up betimes and milk the
cows for you, but overslept I am
heartily ashamed of myself."
"Do you know how to milkf" asked
Amie. in unfeigned astonishment. She
had "never heard of such a thing."
"Of course I do; why shouldn't I?1
was the ready answer.
Because father and liio boys con
sider it degrading for men to do what
they call woman's work."
"A nobleman found Maud Muller en
gaged In raking hay, and had compas
sion on her. Tour worK is rar more
disagreeable than hers. "Why don't you
follow In her footsteps ?"
"Thero are two reasons why I. do. not,
sir. One is, the uobloman has never
coino along; and the other, that, Ilko
Maud Muller and her lord, wo should
both rue It, if ho did."
A surly fire was smoking and smoul
dering In the chimney, successfully re
sisting Fan's awkward attempts to coax
it Into a steady flame. The drizzling
rain without, and the cheorless air
within, out-vied each other in attempts
to excel in augmenting tho general dis
comfort. Tho younger children, In un
dress, were scampering over the floor,
and baby was crying and shivering in
the cold. Mrs. Lee had not yet risen,
but lay moaning as In pain.
Henry and Jim wero scolding at Fan
because of her awkwardness, tug
ging tho whilo at their ugly boots,
which the mud had rendered as bard
and homy as raw-bide.
Amie almost flew in her efforts to
bring comfort and order out of tho
reigning confusion, and Melvln Hast
ings, hazarding the respect of the
younger Lees by his dexterity in assist
ing about women's work, proved so
valuablo an aid, that the fire soon roared
and sparkled as if in glee, sending &
cheering warmth through tho apart
ment. "Ame, you'd better dress Tot," sug
gested Henry.
"Ame's got enough to do; make Fan
do it," was Jim's command.
"I've got the 'taters to peel while
Ame makes the biscuits. Sue's been
picking away at them pheasants for tbo
last hour," retorted Fan.
Meanwhile Tot stood in the corner
screaming a degree louder than the rest
were talking.
"O, dear!" said Amie, hopelessly.
"Docs everybody's young ones act like
these, I wonder? Henry, pleaso put
Tot's clothes on and get his face washed,
wou't you ?"
"Not if know myself," balancing tho
tongs iu his brawny hands, and snap
ping them viciously at tho bare legs of
Dan, who lustily yelled for mother, as Is
tho wont of children when imposed
upon.
The stranger coaxed Tot into a
friendly acquaintance, and soon had
him dressed and comfortable.
In an hour the apartment was thor
oughly warm. A well-cooked break
fast an epicure might appreciate, al
though served ou cracked and un
matched crockory, smoked temptingly
upon the table, and all were ready to do
ample justice to tho Immense platter
of fried pheasants and tho quart bowl of
brown gravy.
Selecting some of the choicest mor
sels, Amie put them by for her mother,
knowing well that no matter whether
there wero Ave pheasants or a dozen,
none would be left after her hungry
horde had been sated.
Tbo meal, with Its noisy accompani
menf of nonsense, was over at last, and
the table cleared. Still the stranger
seemed in no hurry to depart. A few
words of careless conversation with tho
sick woman had given him a mental
excuse for tarrying near the habitation
for the day, and bidding Amie good
morning, with directions to blow the
family dinner horn in case her mother
should grow so ill as to need medical
assistance, he took his gun and started
for tho woods.
After a while the boys left the houso
to amuse themselves as fancy dictated,
tho girls divided their work somewhat
systematically, and soon the houso
grew strangely quiet.
Mrs. Lee became frightfully ill. Na
ture had failed in her last and tenth at
tempt to draw sufficient vitality from
her over-taxed system wherewith to
perpetuate an embryo life-germ, and
but for the skill and assiduity of Amie,
her lifo would have wandered into tho
unknown realms of the Beyond, in com
pany with tho tiny waif whoso wee.
wee form the daughter buried under her
favorite rose-bush, consecrating tho act
with tears aud blessings,
The children, awed by their mother's
sudden illness, were kept out in the
fields all doy, and it was refreshing to
see tho spark of good that smoulders In
everv breast, burn and glow In their
turbulent bosoms, and quiet them to
calm docility at sight of her clasped
hands and pinched, white face, when
evening came, and they were allowed to
come in
The evening brought John Lee, tho
husband and father, home from the
election. As usual, for him, upon occa
slons involving tho gravo and weighty
affairs of State, ho had found it neccs
sary to get very drunk, and, after re
maining away over night, bad come
home to exhibit tho authority and con
sequence of a family head, imbued with
tlmtsensoof his own dignity which Is
so often the result of intoxication,
. ... . . . ... -.t-
"iear me!" taid Amie, wuu a sign
"father Is in his cups again. O, I do
tcUIi he'd stay away till mother gets
better."
"He'll behave himself civilly enough
while I am here, never fear," said the
stranger, cheerfully, as became in from
a day's successful hunting.
But tho man Leo bad redness of
eyes, and was afflicted with much bab
bling. Going to tho bedside of his wife,
whom tbo day's suffering had left pale
and almost pulseless after the reaction
he began to caress her coarsely
"John," said tbo wife, in a whisper.
"I camo very near dying to-day, and
am not out of danger yet I want you
to promlso me something. Will you,
dear7"
Mrs. Leo had not said "dear" to her
husband for years. Indeed, he had long
been to her a loathsome, repulsive ob-
ect from which her soul recoiled, and
with which sho would have no more
consorted than with a hog, in his pres
ent dissipated life, had not the laws
compelled her. His face was bloated
and rubicund, bis onco fine black eyes
wore Inflamed and swollen, while Ids
nose, having lost all shape aud comeli
ness, settled itself flalty at the base and
protruded upward at the ond llko a
bunch of over-ripo strawberries.
"Certainly, Sally," was tho maudlin
reply, as ho bent over her with n breath
more foul than sulphur flames, "I'll
p-p-promlse anything. Jones run clean
ahead of his ticket Y'-y-you ought to
a seen Brown when he found he was
beat Of courso Jones co-co-como
down handsomely for liquor. Wouldn't
a been Mected unless ho had."
"John," said the feeblo woman, lay
ing her pale, thin hand on his florid,
fat one, "promise mo that you won't
flog Henry. Y'ou gave him a harder
task than he could perform, and be
couldn't finish it The boy has Worked
hard."
"Tho devil! I know how hard he
worked. When I was a boy, I could do
twico as big a job. IndcedT tron'i let
him oft"! Boya must know their
place."
Tho poor mother knew that further
xpostulation would bo useless. Turn
ing toward the wall with iv hopeless
groan, she buried her face in her bands
and sobbed aloud.
Melvin Hastings, whom John Leo
had barely grunted at iu response to
Amlo's timid introduction, now came
forward and administered a soothing
driuk prepared from herbs gathered iu
the day's ramble, begging her to be quiet
and all would be well.
"Oh, Mr. Hastings, I can't bear to
have Henry whipped!" she sobbed.
'He's snch a high-spirited, impetuous
fellow that I'm afraid he'll do some
thing dreadful."
To be continued.
IDEAS ABOUT HEAVEN.
How many nre thero who profess
Christianity that have any distinct idea
their future dwelling-place, when,
having "shufllcd off this mortal coil,'"
they shall pass into realms Elyslan?
Ask any good old deacon of the "house
hold of faith" his opinion on tho sub
ject, nnd you will bear a coufused mur
mur of "starry crowns," "palms of vic
tory," "snowy robes," "golden harps,"
etc., when the dear old soul couldn't
play "Hark from tho tombs, a doleful
sound" on nu improved Jew's harp were
be to get a new set of falso teeth thereby;
and as for a white robe, bo thinks n
'boiled shirt" an "abomination most
intolerable."
Inquire of some excessively religious
Individual where ho expects to navigate
his spiritual barque, nnd bo will answer,
providing bo has an abundance of filthy
lucre, "Ob, I think heaven will bo like
this earth, only thero will be no sin,
ou know ah!" at the samo twisting
and stroking his whiskers and thinking
what an original personage he is, to bo
sure 1
I onco heard a dispenser of the Word
say, "Ob, I don't wan't to go to Heaven
I can't hove a crown full of stars!"
Now, verily, ho was a dlminutivo man,
and ono who wore fine linen and fared
sumptuously thrjse limes a day; and me
thought, firstly My clerical frlnnd, you
would cut a rather absurd figure with
your crimson face, aud "locks of hya
cinthlne flow" to match, your pudgy
fist clutching a "palm," your pigeon
toes getting hopelessly entangled in a
"white robe" that is, if you appear
then as now; If not, why, my dear little
preacher, you wouldu't get tho credit of
wearing one of the finest crowns in all
Heaven, for uobody would know it was
you, and glory is one of your strong
points of bliss.
Minister No. ninety-nine says, "iryou
want to mako heaven attractive to chil
dren, teach them that it is a beautiful
city, where every desire will be grati
fied." Now, as old folks are only
grown-np children, why not teach them
likewise? For Instance, would you con
vert a politician, bold out the alluring
hope of a fat government office; and if
you wish to lead a fashlouabio belle in
the ways of eternal peace, promise her
plenty of beaux, a pink reps silk, and a
set of diamonds, and she will "convert"
Immediately. "Gates Ajar," which
was warmly greeted by so niauy, was
written on this principle exactly, only
to the children it promised pink blocks
and ginger snaps, and to a young lady
It promised a piano.
To my mind ono or tneso doctrines is
as absurd as the other. I am persuaded
that "oye hath not seen nor ear heard,
nor hath It entered the heart of man to
conceive" what Heaven really is, but I
also believe that tho personal pomposi
ties of all of us will meet a just disap
pointment when wo get there, and that
the most self-righteous oues among us
hero will bo least exalted there.
A married man hearing that the eat
ing of certain kinds of animal food
would aid tho samo tissues of thehuman
body, as, for instance, calves' brains
would nourish tho eater's brains, or
beefs liver the eater's liver, immedi
ately cava strict orders that no more
tongue of any kind be sold tohbi wife or
moinor-in-iaw."
Memorial.
The following Is tho text of the Me
morial presented March 12, at the extra
Session of tbo Michigan State Legisla
ture, by tlio Michigan State Woman
Suffrage Association:
To the Senate and House of Representa
tives of the State of Micfiigan, in
Special Session convened:
ThoExecutlve Committee of the Mich
igan Stato Woman Suffrage Associa
tion, at their meeting hold at Kalama
zoo, February 10, 1S74, voted to memori
alize your honorable body, at your
special session now being bold.
Wo beg leave to reprcsont to you that
the object of this Association is to se
cure, in a legal way, tho enfranchise
ment of the women of tho State. They
are, as you well know; already recog
nized as citizens of the State, according
to the laws of tlio United States. They
are now taxed for all purposes of public
interest as well as men. But they are
not represented In the Legislature, nor
in any branch of the State government,
thus affording a great example, nud an
unjust one for women, of taxation with
out representation, which our fathers
declared to be tyranny, and which is
contrary to the genius of our republicau
institutions to the general polity of this
commonwealth.
Women are also governed, whilo they
have no direct voice in tho government,
and made subject to laws allecting their
property, their personal rights and lib
erty, iu whose enactment they have had
no voice.
We therefore petition your honorable
body, that in preparing a new constitu
tion, to be submitted for adoption or re
jection by the people of this State, you
win striKe out tno worn mate irom tue
article deilniugthe qualifications of
electors; or u ueeuieu uesi. uy juu, win
provide for the separate submission of
an article for tho enfranchisement of
tbo women of Michigan, giving them
equal rights aud privileges with the
men.
By thus taking the lead of the States
of the Vuion, to more fully secure tho
personal rights or all the citizens, you
will show yourselves in harmony with
tho spirit of the ago and worthy to be
called pioneers In this cause, as you are
already more nonoraoiy accountea pio
neers In your educational system, which
affords equal and Impartial advantages
to the population of our State irrespec
tive or sex or condition iu life thus
aiming to elevate tho entire people to
the highest practical plane of iutelli
ppnee'and true civilization.
IJy order, and in tho namo of the
Michigan Woman's Suffrage Associa
tion.
Mrs. A. II. Walker, St Johns,
President.
Mrs. S. E. Emory, Meridian,
Recording Secretary.
Mrs. L. H. Stone, Kalamazoo,
Corretponding Secretary.
Mrs. E. L. Westcott, Lansing,
Treasurer.
J. A. B. Stone, Kalamazoo,
DK.J.lI.B.RTHOU)MEv,LansIug,
M rs. Fk a nc us Tit vs, Ba 1 1 le Creek,
Mrs. O. A. Jknnisox, Linsiug,
Mrs. C. A. V. Steubins, Detroit,
Mus.D.C."HhAKEMAN-,ICalamazoo,
Mrs. L. B. Cc ktis, Lansing.
Hzecutive Committee.
House-keeping.
I declare that the woman who is able
to systematize and. carry on smoothly
tho work of on ordinary family, illus
trates higher sagacity that is called for
by seven-eights of tbo tasks done by
man. Men take ono trade and work at
It; a mother's and house-keeper's work
requires a touch from all trades. A man j
has bis work hours, and his defiuito
tasks; n womau has work at all hours,
and incessant confusion of tasks.
Let any mau do a woman's work for a
single day wash auddress the children, -having
provided their clothes the night
before; see that breakfast Is underway to
suit a fault-finding husband; the wash
boiler on with water for the wash, and
the clothes assorted ready for washing;
the jjish-waler heating, nud a luncheon.
tliougut out ior tuo sciiuui-guere, ;i mce
dinner iu tho good man's dinner-pail;
tho beds made, alter proper airing; tue
father's convenience exactly hit for
family nravers: tbosvstematlcsweeping
of tho house at least once a week, nnd
the living rooms once to three times a
day, according to the number of men to
bring In mud; the actual washing aud
outhanging of clothes; tho drying,
sprinkling and folding, -and to-morrow
ironing me same; me ouriins mm
mfMulini? of them, and provision of new
ere Iho old give out; the making of
bread three times a wecK, wltu caKo
and pics intercalcuiated judiciously;
pickles, preserves, and cellar stores to be
laid in, and not forgotten in their sea
son; children's mauners to be attended
too; company to be entertained; her
own person to be tidied up to please bis
- ... i . . i I ... 1 .. .1
eye; ana urea mm iu u ciwju.-u uuu
waited on by the no less tired her, and the
house made cneeriui; uis irowsers to ue
patched after he has gone to bed so he
can put them on In tho morning; the
children to be helped abouttheir lesson,
and reminded not to iorget tneir &un-
doy school lesson; the snoppiug anu
marveling to ue uuu iut mo uuuac
hold; repairs ottended to, nnd matters
In general kept straight around home.
Meanwhile, "Papa must not be troubled
or hindered about his work," because
his work brings In the money; yes,
man's work brings in the money, but
man's work does not so tax tho head
and heart and hands as woman's work
dBesldes all this, man Is helped by
many strong relishes aud incentives in
his labor. Ho is out in the world
among folks. Ho comes and goes, aud
is refreshed in spirit. Jiut woman
u.-nrk nlone. and almost unknown. To
nioncn her husband and bcr God is.
possibly, her only motive, nnd alas, how
many wives there be who weep in se
cret before their God, because they fail
to win one smile or word of praise from
if.oirhnshands. It is stupid and brutal
for any ordinary man to be finding
fault with woman. .
PUDDINQ Sacce. One-half teacup of
butter, one and a half teacups or sugur,
....1 nint. of strawberries mashed till
UHVi UUC j-. --, ,
jUli-j. . I),b lillltpr
I..:-.. 17-niuwHi uerncs may oe suuau-
tuteu ior iron - V, f .V
,i tn li cream, then stir in tho
uui4 o"fa"
berries. .
nn put One cup of butter, three
cups of sugar, four egg, four cups of
n r. ,i.nnoiiful eacli of cinnamon,
cloves, macoaud soda, nnd one pound of
raisins.
Woman's Prayera and Suffrage,
Mark Twain, writing to tho London
Standartl of the prayer crusado, says:
Would you consider the conduct of
these crusaders justifiable ? I do thor
oughly justifiable. They find them
selves voiceless iu the making of laws
nnd the election of officers to execute
them. Born witli brains, born in tho
couutry, educated, having large Inter
ests at stoke, they find their tongues
tied nud their hands fettered, while
every ignorant, whisky-drinking, for-elgn-bom
savage in the land may hold
office, help to make tho laws, degrade
the dignity of the former, and break the
latter at his own sweet will. They seo
their fathers, husbands and brothers sit
inanely at home and allow the scum of
the country to assemble at tno "prima
ries," namo the candidates for office
from their own vile ranks, nnd, uu re
buked, elect them. They live Iu the
midst of a country where there is no end
to the laws and no beginning to the ex
ecution of tbem. Aud when the laws,
intended to protect their sous from de
struction by intemperance, lie torpid
aud without sign of life, year after year,
they recognize that here is a matter
that interests them personally, a matter
which cornea straight home to them.
And since they are allowed to lift no
legal voice against the outrageous state
of things they suffer under in this re
gard, I think it is no wonder thnttbeir
patience has broken down at lost, aud
thev have tried to persuade themselves
that they arc justifiable in breaking the
law of trespass, when tbo laws that
should make the trespass needless, are
allowed by the voters to lie dead and in
operative. The present crusade will,
doubtless, do but little work against in
temperance that will be really perma
nent, but it will do what is as much, or
even more to the purpose, I think. I
tuink it will suggest to more tuau one
man that if women could vote they
would vote on the side of morality, even
If they did vote and speak rather fran
tically aud furiously; and it will also
suggest that wheu the women once
made up their minds, that it was not
good to have tho all-powerful "prima
ries" iu the hands of loafers, thieves and
pernicious little pollticlaus, they would
not sit indoleutly at home, as their hus
bands and brothers do now, but would
hoist their praying banners, take the
field iu force, pray tbo assembled politi
cal scums back to the holes and slums
where they belont;, and set up some
candidates for decent human beings to
vote for. I dearly want the women to
bo raised to the political altitude of the
negro, the imported savage and the par
doned thief, nud allowed to vote. It is
lour last chance. I think. Tho women
will bo votinc before lonir. nud then if a
demagogue can still continue to lord it
in Congress; ir tuc uigiiestoinces in the
land can still continue to be occupied by
perjurers and robbers; if another Con
gress llko the Forty-Second, consisting
of fifteen honest men and two hundred
and ninety-six of the other kind, can once
more be created, it will at last bo time,
I fear, to give over trying to save the
country by human means, and appeal to
Providence. Both tho great parties
have failed. I wish wo might have a
woman's party now, and seo how that
would work. I feel persuaded that in
extending the suffrage to. women, this
country could lose absolutely nothing
and might gain a great deal. For
thirty centuries history has been iterat
ing and reiterating that, in a moral
fight, woman is simply dauntless; and
we all know, even with our eyes shut
upon Congress aud our voters, that from
the day that Adam ate of tbo apple nnd
told on Eve, down to tho present day
man in ri moral fight has pretty uni
formly shown himself to be an arrant
coward.
A Grammar Exercise. "John,"
said a country pedagogue to one of his
scholars, "Bill licks Tom. Now parse
Bill."
"Bill ith a verb, thlr."
"A verb ! How do you make that
out sir?"
"Coth ha licks Tom, thir."
"Well, if licking Tom makes Bill a
verb, how will you parse Tom ?"
"Tom ith a verb, too, thir."
"Tom a verb, too !"
"Yetb, thlr."
"How so?"
"Coth he ith licked."
"Isn't that singular? Bill is a verb
because he licks Tom, nnd Tom is a verb
because he is licked. You've got a new
grammar, haven't you?"
"Yetb, thir. Dad bought me a new
one yetherday."
"Well," said Ills master, biting his
lips, "just open it aud see what a verb
is."
John reads: "A verb is a word whiah
signifies to be, to do aud to sutler. "
?,Now parse 'Bill llckrd Tom' cor
rectly."
Ycth, thlr. uiii' itn a verb, and
Tom' 1th a verb, coth Bill did do it.
and Tom suffered. Them's grammar I"
You may take your seat, sir. If you
progress hereafteras rapidly as you have
done, you win ueaseconuijinuiey xiiur
ray."
Wtho Are Rich. The man with
good, firm health, is rich.
bo is the man with a clear conscience,
So is the parent of vigorous, happy
children.
So is the editor of a good paper with a
bitr subscription list.
o is a man whose coat the little chil
dren of the parish pluck as ho passes
mem in tueir niav.
So is the wife who has the whole heart
of a (rood husband.
co is the maiden whose uonzon is not
bounded bv the "cominff man," but
whoha3a nurposo in life whether she
ever meets him or not
So is the young man who, laying uis
hand on liia heart can say, "1 have
treated everv woman I have ever met
0S I WOUIU WISU my sister uiaicu uj
. . - . . ,. . ,i i...
So is the little child wno goes to sieep
witli a kiss on Its lips, and ror wuose
waking a blessing waits.
A new burlesnue. at the Strand Then
tor. Tendon, makes the son of one of the
characters welcome uis lamer to jrans,
' . If A f- T
aud ask him it he uau a pleasant rail
way iourney. "Ob, yes," says the par
ent, "capital; wo had a railway acci
dent." "Indeed! What was it?" says
tue son. "wearnyeasaieiyi"
-Tea Biscuit. Ono quart of flour, &
niece of butter the size of an csnr worked
in with the flour, two table-spoonsful of
cream of tarter sifted In while drv. one
tea-spoonful of soda, and mix with sweet
raiiK very sou- uaKe in n hot oven.
Common Sense. t
Wo hall tho following from the
'Astorian as a bugle note for- freedom.
Welcome to our ranks, brother Ireland:
Taken from our stand-point which
weclalmfs tho truly lndependent one
the lessons taught by our mpdern poli
ticians are most important onesj, and
will end with the enfranchisement of
woman, and the partial disfranchise
ment of man. Tho country is Ailed with
boys who are wishing for tho tlmo of
their majority to arrive, when they can
stand around the street corners, and,
like very many of the voters of to-day,
talk politics and drink whisky. There
are also thousands of women, who are
wishing for the time to come when they
can have a voice and a vote on the po
litical issues of the day and when that
time arrives, off goes the head of the
mun who makes politics a business at
elections and has no other priuclple
than to sell his vote to the highest
bidder. Then will the ballot be purl
fled, and not till then. Then, and not
till then, will the lobby at Washington
and at every State Capitol diminish.
Then, and not till then, tvIII that "re
form" so urgently demanded by every
party platform reach wide enough,
strong enougu ana low enongu to caro
for the prosperity of our common coun
try and prevent a repetition of the
schemes and subversions of party job
bers who have now well nlgn ruined
the Republic of America. Then, and
not till then, will the people be given
better things for their money than the
unclean andslcKening legislation wnicn
now so cenerallv blackens our codes; is
only meant "for effect," nnd in reality
has got to bo choked down by all fair-
minded persons.
Tho Astorian Is not a political sheet
we are bidinir our time to have our. say,
and only throw out this as an intima-
lion or wnere wo may oe iounu wueu
the day arrives, as it soon will.
A Model JrRY. In Truckee, last
Wednesday, upon a jury trial, tbo
Sheritl was sent by the Court to inter
view the jury, whicn naa oeen out
some time, rue Jicpuoiican aescnuea
tho sight that met the officers eyes
whpn h went to tho room: One of tho
jurymen had an immense bass drum
strappeu on uis uact.anuuBUB ujuiuueu
. . . . i I . . .. "..I
arouna tue nan auoiuer jurjmau iui-
Iowed behind with drumsticks. playing
upon the drum at a lively rate. Still a
third juror was beating a snare drum
vigorously, his design being to produce
as much noise as po3slblowlthout re
gard to time or music. A ''quart bottle
was an object of deep interest to several
other of the jurors, while a game of
euchre occupied the atteution of the re
mainder. The Sheriff was so awe
struck with the imposing scene that he
retreated and called Uis .Honor, tue
Judge, to witness the solemn delibera
tions of a Truckee jury. The Judgo
called the jurors to order and inquired .
if they had agreed upon a verdict They
replied through their foreman that they
had agreed to disagree, and that n ver
dict was out of the questiou.
A Brave Woman. A brave woman
of Boston, who refuses to have her
name made nubile, was left in charge of
several children one night lately and,
one of them being taken sick, she sum
moned a woman servant to carry a pre
scription to the apothecary's for somo
medicine; but tne servant came, irignt-
ened.out of her wits, saying there was a
burclnr concealed in a certain closet.
The woman went straight to tbedoorand
said, "If there is anybody In this closet,
let him come out," whereupon a big,
sinister-looking ucsro stepped forth.
Tho woman then with tho utmost cool
ness, handed him the prescription, say
inir. "Take this to the nearest apothe
cary's and cet it filled. There is a sick
child in the bouse." The black burglar
left without a word. Meanwhile the
woman, who beean to feol a little faint.
called a neighbor. The latter was about
to go to the apothecary's for the medi
cine, when a clerk called with it, saying
that a negro naa orougnt tno prescrip
tion and then disappeared.
Zina Fay Pierce, the daughter of n
clergyman in St Albans,Vermont, leads
departure in tno -temperance move
ment Sbo has formed a society and
written for.it a creed. The points of her
teaching are that the milder forms of
liquor should not be classed witn tuo
fierv: that beer-drinking and beer-gar
dens should be countenanced by young
ladies; that women should urmK malt
Hnuors instead oi tea; anu mat tne total
abstinence pledge is a "stigma upon tbo
communion, nnd a direct accusation
against tlio wisdom and morality of our
blessed Savior himseir." Zina is young,
eloquent and pretty; consequently sho
has many followers.
An Aberdeeu minister, cathechizing
bis vouncr parishioners before the con
gregation, but the usual question to a
stout girl whose father kept a public
house: "What is your name " ino re
ply. The question having been re-
penteu, me gin repucu: iane o- juur
fun, Mr. Minister, ye ken my name well
enough. D'ye no say when ye come to
our house on a night, 'Bet, bring me
some ale?'"
"Tho man who lays his hand upon a
woman, except In ,KnanJ9 T0 ?ef
hnns. the version of Mrs. Robert Sbeheo
or Owasso, III., is more In accordance
with the progress of the age. "I don't
so much care." says Mrs. Shehee, "about
a man's striking a woman with his fist,
but when It comes to tasing an ax to
her, it's too much." Mr. Shehee got ono
month In jail.
Skinning or Siiavino, Which?
"Docs tho razor go easy ?" asked tho
barber of a victim who was writhing
under a clumsy Instrument, whose chief
recommendation was a strong handle.
"Well." replied the poor fellow, "that
depends upon what you aro doing. If
you are sKinning me, it goes toieraoio
easy; but If you are shaving me, It goes
rather hard."
A vonncr pirl who had an offer of mar
riage which sho wished to accept, sub
mitted the matter to neriatuer, wuu
vised her against matrimony, using as
argument tho quotation from St -raui,
"They who marry do we. W,ttb1ywho
do not do bette?." "Well," said I tho
damsel, "I love to do well; let those do
better who can !" , t
The matter of Miss Sawh,Smey
right to preach.has bcen n? oe'
tlfe Brooklyn presbyters .