o
3fi
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Vol
OREGON CIT1T, OISJSCcOjV, SATURDAY, .1 CX.X 4, 1808.
No. 37.
FlMTFlRPlRIQf1
9-
i)c lUcckln (enterprise.
' PC DLIS1IED K VERY SATUUDAT MOKNIXO
; By D. C. IRELAND,
I r r-'ft; : South cast corner of Fifth and
' Sf.ts streets, in the building lately know n
, f5 the Court Iloase, Oregon City, Oregon.
: Terms of Subscription.
? Obc copy, one rear in advance $3 00
f "" " "" il delayed 4 00
I Term of Advertising.
I Transient advertisements, per square
I ( 12 lines or less) first insertion ...$2 50
4 For each subsequent insertion 1 00
Hsinoss Cards one square per anuurn
i payable quarterly 1200
(Hie "column per annum 1-0 "'J
One h tlf column " 0 00
t Onn quarter " " 40 00
; 1 o m! advertising at the established rates.
B US IX ESS CA RD S.
Dr. F. Barclay, Iff. R. C. L.v
M : ;
formerly Surgeon to the Hon. II. B. Co.)
OFFICE: At Resident;
1 xA.un Street (-r" Oregon City.
I WELCH,-
i f??? DENTIST.
I penntne nt! f LoeaUd at Oregon City Oregon.
: Iloftmrt with Dr. Saifarans, on Main street.
.
V OSWEGO HOUSE!
OSWKUO, OliJiUO.Y.
JOHN' SCJIADK Proprietor,
"I S now prepared to receive and entertain
4 X all vrhvi may favor him with tl;-ir patron
' .lii1 Tne House is New and the liooms are
" "lv and Xeat'y Furnished. The Table
I w ill be supplied with all the delicacies f
s tlie .(uso!!. The House is situated near the
'1 steamer lauding. The proprietor will at all
ftim' endeavor to ive entire satisfaction to
fall who may favor him with a call, and
vtu'il 1 respectfully solicit the patronage of
,' tne Ti.n i ling I'ublic. 41:tf.
Utiird per wk $5 i
r."fJ J.nl Lodging..., 6 0)
i-ip'le Miis 50
: - . .
t SVScLaughHn House-
Tits street, (opposite the Wooleu Mills,)
Oregm City, Oregon.
E. -5?. KELLY,
- Froprietor.
This k the most, commodious Hot'-l
i i't i- eiy. 'ely funushed, and just open
1-V -f!i.- I -Ci'fti)i) of gue.-ts.
; ; "It wiil be tho 'endeavor of the Propri
iii iiKike Ins guests comfortable. -ti.tf
OREGON HOUSE,
J;.ic S.ivct
. .Oregon City.
JACOB BOEHM, Proprietor.
ESTAUI.1SUEI) 1S."7.
KEDLtTlOX IX ritlt'ESl
The undersigned wishes to give notics
at from Saturday. October 5th. ii:r, prices
the above house will be as billows :
' 'iid and Lodging per week 5 00
iiard m it liout Lodging 4
3'ard and Lodging per ilav. 1 oo
JACOB UOEll.M.
-igoii City, Oct. 3d. Isi;;-. 50:tf
CLIFF HOUSE.
r Main Street,
1
tji' V-'-
-Atdl. '"'ty Opposite Vruolcn Factory,
a i. wirm-:', i 1V . .
.1' WGKHOADES, I ropmtors.
Oregon City, Oregon.
. V.'i jjjx ite the citizens of Oregon City, nnd
1'e t. ivulnig public.ao give us a share of
. ;l:Mr patronage. Meals can be had at all
,1ioiu.i, to please the n:ost fastidious. 10
q Notice to the Public.
I1IAVK this day closed the Hallow House
ni favor of the Clitf House. Hope my
s ' 1 J rt'stonier-i will give their liberal pntrori
to the above Veil kejit hoUse. they
vil! iind Messrs. M'hite Athoades always
liand to make guests comfortable.
AVM. HA U LOW.
3 JOHN Iff. BACON,
o
Ju s'ice of the Peace it- City Recorder.
O.Tio In the Court House and City
Cuiioil Room, Oregon City.
f ill attend to the acknowledgment of
i ' Is, and all other duties appertaining to
J i ciUof of Justice of the J'eace.
J. FLEETING,
Ju! til dealer in School Rooks, Sla
tmner; also, Patent Medicines,
1 and Perfumery .
At the 1'ostvoiiice, in Masonic Building,
I Oregon City, Oregon.
I William Brougiiton,
COXTRA arm? ,,,1,1 nniLnrm
IJ Main strut, Orojon, City.
attento all work in his line, con-
,? s'mg ui pai t ot Carpeuter and Joiner work
j ti .iniing, building, etc Jobbing promptly
attended to. "
JOHN H. SCHPwAM,
Mamifact'irer and Dealer in
j
SADDLES, irARXESS,
etc.. etc..
j laiu street, between Third and Fourth,
I Or eg on (Jinj.
.PIIE attention of parties desiring anything
1 X in my line, is directed to my stock, biT
i!''ie making purchases elsewhere".
' My) JOHN H. SCHRAM.
CLARK GEEENMAN,
City Drayman,
0UEG0X CITY.
k i Ail orders
Tkuges
j i "in, to anv
f tT'S-nini.t',-
AU orders for the delivery of merchandise,
and freight ot whatever descrip
part of the cit v. will be executed
"in j't.y and with care. 1 tf.Gni
W. F. HIGHFIELD,
Established since l-lO, at the old stand,
M ux Street, Oregon City.
An assortment of Watches. Jew
elry, and Seth Thomas' weight
Clocks, all of which are warranted
.. iV' to be as reuresented.
arwL 1 ('an nigs none on suoi i iiumii
md tnankful for past favors.
S-r?.k. i. ... i 4.
DAVID SBIITH,
Hcamr to SMITH d- MARSHALL,
I MuchSmith and Waqon Maker,
Ore-
VOllier of M:lin iin.1 Tbir.1 erf..ta ;
I
;ou
City Oregon.
. i uut!lln? m all its branches. V agon
k 'Mi)g and repairing. All work warranted
'e satistaction. (Si)
1 Pne of tIle most desirable places in Ore-
n C'lty, consisting of a House suitable for
a"'ge lamily or a public boarding bouse
"s "ther with an Orchard, barn, one or two
j S?"l Cows, etc.. is now offered for rent on
I Tery tavoi able terms.
I Ai'iiy to w.
J. CALDWELL.
Oregon City, Oregon.
BU SIXES S CARDS.
L add & Tiltonj
BANKERS,
TOUTLAM), OiSEGOX.
Will give prompt attention to collections;
and other business appertaining to nankin".
Sight and Telegraphic Exchange
On San Francisco and the Atlantic States for
sale. Government Securities bought and
sold. ?i-tf
L. C. Fuller,
BROKER,
Pags the Highest Price for Gold Dust
Legal Tenders and Government securities
bought and sold. No. 10S Front st.,
xi. tf- Portland, Oregon.
I. tiKADOTf. CI1.VIXCY BALL.
GRAD0N & Co.,
mancfacti;rek3 oi"
Wagons & Carriages,
201 and 203 Front st., Portland, Oregon.
OCT" Wagons of every description
made to order. General Jobbing done
with neatness and dispatch.
Orders from the country promptly
attended to.
BYIIOX Z. HOLMES.
JOHN' tHW'DEKLAXI).
HOLLIES & SUNDERLAND,
05 First street, Portland Oregon.
Manufacturers and dealers in Hoots and
shoes of the latest styles and best material.
San Erancisco and Philadelphia
goods always on hand. Agents for Ilowe'.i
Family Sewing Machines, and John (. Fcl
som's hand sewing machines. ICeedles and
thread fur sale. (3-t.lj
Thomas W. Kinney,
49 Front street, Portland Oregon
DEALER. IX
WINES AND LIQUORS,
Is constantly in receipt of Pure Whiskeys
direct from the Atlantic States, ana can oiler
to the trade better inducements than any
other house in Portland.
S OME THING NE ) V !
Boots with Wire Quilted Bottoms
o
These Hoots are made on the American
standard hist. They never lail to lit, and feel
comfortable, and require no "breaking in."
The Wire Quilled Soles
have been proven by practical experience to
last twice as long us the ordinary soles. A
splendid assortment just received at
K. D. WHITE & Co.'s,
Hoot and Shoe store,
C4.") Id First st. Portland.
V. C. JOHXSO.V.
F. O. M COWX.
JS'otary J'lMic.
JOHNSON & McCOWIV,
OIIKGOX CITY', OREGON".
T7 Will attend to all business entrusted
f .i our care in any of the Courts of the State,
collect monev, negotiate loans, sell real es
tate, etc.
'.Pai ticnlar attention given to contested
land 'cases. l.yl
" J. B. UPTON"
Attcrxey and Cocxsklor-atsLaw,
Oregon City, Oregon.
'" Office over the store of lyop'e & Co.,
Main street. 4tf.tf
Ort'Ron Cily, Oregon.
Office iu Charmdn's Brick Block, up
stairs. (5o:lf)
A. 11. HELL.
K. A. PAKKER.
BELL &. PARKER.
Ayb dealers i?r
Chemicals, Putcnt Medicines, Paints,
Perfumery, Oils, Varnishes,
And every article kept in a Drug Store.
S3.) Main Stkeet, Osegox Citt.
SHADES SALOON.
IVtH Side Maty Street, Mwefri , Second a iid
Third, Vr'tirvh Vi!y:
GEOEGE A. HAAS - - - - Proprietor;
The proprietor begs leave to inform his
friends and the public generally that the
above named popular si'outi 13 open for their
accommodation, with a new and well assort
ed supply of the finest brands of wines,
liquors and cigars. 52
ISAAC PARIl. JOit.N' rARB.
FARE & BROTHER,
Butclu-rs and Meat Venders.
Thankful for the favors of the community
in the past, wish to say that they will con
timie to dehver to their patrons, from the
wagon, as usual,
On Tut-id'tys and Saturday qf ench week,
all the best qualities of Beet, Mutton, and
Pork, or auy other class of meats in the
market, H:tf
iBsipcrisil Mills,
OUEGOS CITY.
KEEP CONSTANTLY ON HAND FOR SALE :
BRA N ND CHICKEN FEED !
ZT" Parties wanting feed must furnish
heir sacks. 30.tf
NOTICE TO ALL
WHO WANT
First Class Fine or Coarse
Made or "Repaired. Especial care and at
tention paid to orders for line work, such as
Ladies' and Misses Fine Gaiters, dents' Fine
French Calf Boots, etc.
""TiT Orders solicited from abroad will be
executed with neatness and dispatch.
TEIiWILLUIEIl & SMITH,
40.tf , Green st., Oswego, Oregon
A. J. MOXKCE. W. A. K. 1ELLEX.
IVI0NRGE & MELLEN,
Dealers in California, Vermont, and
Italian Marbles, Obelisks, Monu
ments, Head and Foot stones,
Salem Oregon.
JJantles and furniture Marble furnished
toorder. I32.tf
RANCH FOR SALE.
s
ITUATED BETWEEN THE CLACK-
amas and the
OREGON CITY TOWN PLAT !
In the vicinity of the place of T. J. Hun3aker
' :.
tf Will be sold cheap for cash.
Ai-ply to LEVY i FECI1I1EIMER,
Z.H Main street, Oregou Cnv
MY PATH OF ItOSES.
Often in dreamy mood I go,
Along a path, where roses hlovr ;
Whose dewy, pink-lipped blossoms fair,
Are wasting kisses on the air ;
Shy luscious promises disclosing,
The hidden sweetness, there reposing ;
Till flutter of the loro-bird's
O
Wakes coy street rmds to blossoming ;
Row blossoms trembling with perfume,
Bright banner Oriflammes of bloom
By all that's sweet ! By all that's fair !
How can I help to linger there?
By summer's fingers, thickly hung,
These perfumed censers. Boftly swung,
With languorous odors thrill my breast,
And dreamy balms lull care to rest,
In happy mood I come and go
Along the path where roses blow.
One cautioned mc " Beware the thorn !'r
But counsel spurning, wroth with scorn.
I turned, " Can things designed to bless
Us with such sense of loveliness,
Pierce to the quick, and wring with pain,
The deepest nerves of heart and brain ?
Then cried I, drunken with perfume,
'There are no thorns, where roses bloom."
My greedy hand, sought to enclose
A flower. God's truth ! a queenly rose,
Fair rose vain heart my hand was torn.
Xo rose was mine, I hold the thorn,
Now, though the sere and yellow leaf,
I3 falling, I can smile at grief;
And still I wander to and fro
Along the path where roses blow.
June 1808. Amtxtas.
TO JIY SOSE.
Knows he, who never toolc a pinch.
Nosey, the pleasure thence which flows
Knows he the titillating joy
That my nose knows ?
0 Nose ! I am as proud of thee
As any mountain of its snows ;
1 gaze on thee and feel that pride
A Roman knows.
A WARM MATH AVAOEU.
Recently while two gentleman of
this city (whom for the sake of a
name we call Long and Short) were
visiting Portland, and after having
seen the elephant pretty well, finally
visited a bath house. Long know
ing the other's peculiar conceit, said
ho (Long) could endure a hotter
bath than any living man. Thereat
Short fired up, and a bet was :nade.
Two bathing tubs were prepared,
with six inches ol water in each
The fellows stripped, and seperated
by a cloth, each one got in and let on
the hot water at the word the wai
ger being who should stay in the the
longest with hot water running.
Short drew up his feet as far aS pbs.
sible from the boiling stream, While
Long pulled out the plug in the bot
tom of the tub. After about half a
minute Short said
" How is it Long, pretty warm"
" Yes'' said the other, " it's getting
almighty hot; but I guess I can hold
out a minute longer."
" So can I," answered Short.
" Seis-s ! squash ! lightning ! it's
awful !
Fifteen seconds passed, equal to
half an hour by Short's imaginary
watch.
; I say, over there, how U it now?"
" Oh ! it's nearly up to the biliu'
pint. Oh! Jehu!" answered the di
abolical villain, who was lying in the
empty tub, while the Lot water pass
ed out Of the escape pipe.
By this time Short was splurging
about like a boiled lobster, and call
ed again1
" I s-a y, over there; how is it
now 1"
" Hot as the devil !" replied Long.
"But whew! scis s-s! I guess I can
hold out another minute!''
"TheJielPs fire you can!" shrieked
the now boiled Short, vho rolled out
and bolted through the part tion, ex
pecting to find the other quite cook
ed. "You infernal rascal! why didn't
you put the plug in?''
"Why, I didn't agree to," said the
imperturable joker. "Why in thun
der didntyou leave yours out?" '
The Santa Clara Argus says:
Some of our exchanges are congrata
lating the country upon the fact that
a large plantation of chickory is now
in a thriving condition in this State.
Chickory is the abominable stuff used
for counterfeiting coffee, and we can
not see why people should be jubi
lant over a wholesale adulteration of
the delicious luxury. We like coffee
pure coffee and seriously protest
against chickory or any other bogus
substitute in ours.
Mrs. Dr. Walker is trying to
re-open a divorce which her late
husband got from her by default.
She wants to be divorced, but de
sires the boots, as well as the trous
ers, to be. on the other leg.
m ,
A sugar wedding is the latest
invention, and for it the West is re
sponsible. It occurs thirty days after
marriage, or the end of the honey
moon. Js that the last of matrimoni
al sweeti?
THE OXE FALSE STEP.
The following story is based upon
an incident of actual occurrence in a
New York Life Insurance Company
names of persons and places only
being omitted which struck me as
being one of the most singular and
touching that ever eame to my no
tice:
" What harm can come of it, Hay
den?"
The kind, pleasant looking gentle
man addressed gazed irresolutely
into the pleading face of his com
panion, who seemed to be greatly
agitated.
" You know it's against the rules
of the institution, John.''
" Every bank has some such rule,
but then it's nothing but a dead let-
ter. It's done by every such institu
tion in the country, and the directors
know it. But what do they care, so
long as they don't lose anything? I
have often thought that if you were
not so squeamish you might have
made yourself a handsome fortune,
and the bank not a cent the poorer.
But then I wouldn't have advised you
to do that, for speculation is rather
risky; but this is quite another thing.
The paper will be paid at maturity,
and no one will be the wiser or in
any way wronged by it. If you do
this, 1 shall be able at once to make
good my losses; and if you refuse, I
am a ruined man. It is not for my
self that I care, but what will become
of my poor wife and children"
This was an appeal that reached
the heart of Mr. Hayden, for few
men were so tenderly attached to his
family as he. He was one of those
who find it difficult to say no, espe
cially where his feelings were ap
pealed to, and in a moment of weak
ness he yielded, as many a wiser and
stronger man has done before him.
Despite of his confidence in the
truth and ability of this false friend,
as the paper approached maturity,
Mr. Hayden became anxious and un
easy, especially as rumors from time
to time reached him of the desperate
condition of Mr. Gray's a flairs.
It is impossible to say that the man
on whose conscience rests so heavy
a burden, knew that he should be
unable to redeem his promise; but
he must have known that it was un
certain, at the best. Anyway, the
paper was not paid, and thus the
breach of trust of which Mr. Hayden
had been guilty became known to
the board of directors.
The quiet town of Desbbrough
was electrified by the intelligence that
the cashier of the Desbdrough Bank
had been suddenly removed from the
office he had held for many years;
and so acceptably to the public. And
the knowledge of the cause that he
had been detected in makiog a pr'u
fate use ot the money entrusted td
him occasioned as much pain as Sur
prise iu the community, by which he
was universally respected and belov
ed, as well as to hia immediate friends
and relatives.
Mr; Hayden hastened to make the
only reparation in his power, by giv
ing up to the bank his little propert',
the savings of many years; but it
could not save his good name or give
back to him the confidence of the
public.
lie was a most affectionate bus
band and father, and the disgrace he
had brought upon his wife and child
caused htm the keenest anguish. His
wife, womanlike, clung to him
through all, cheering and comforting
him as only such can.
" I cannot endure to remain here,
Mary," said Mr. Hayden to his wife.
" I will go to some distant State and
there endeavor to retrieve the past
and regain the good name I have lost.
xs soon as 1 get settled I will send
for you and Georgie; that is, if you
still insist on clinging to the fortunes
of a disgraced and ruined tr.an."
" Where thou goest I will go
where thou diest 1 will die,aud there
will I be buried," said not only the
lips but the loving eyes that were
raised so trustfully to his.
Cheered and encouraged by these
words and the new hopes that were
springing up in his heart, Mr. Hay
den went to a city in a distant State,
there to commence the new life he
had determined upon. But the con
sequences of this one false step fol
lowed him. Soon after he left thirty
thousand dollars iu United States
bonds, placed in the bank for safe
keeping, were missing, and very nat
ure: ly suspicion rested upon him.
As soon as Mr. Hayden heard of
this fresh charge, secure in his con
scious innocence, he returned to his
old home to meet it. But circum
stances were strong against him; and
he found himself prejudged and con
demned by those of whom he had eX
pected better things. Of all who bad
loved and honored him, only bis wife
believed in his innocence, whose pale
cheek showed the agony at her heart,
but who greeted him with the same
loving, trustful smile.
Naturally sensitive, he felt keenly
the cold, scornful looks that met him
on every side. Without money,
friends or character, a gloom fell
upon his mind, which grew daily
darker, until he became a burthen
intolerable to be borne. But he
would not leave to destitution his
wife and the sweet child, so dear to
them both.
Some years ago he had insured his
life for a small amount, in a New
York Life Insurance Company. Go
ing to a neighboring city, he entered
the office of one of its agents.
" Do you pay losses in cases of
suicide?7' he inquired.
" We do, sir," was the prompt re
joinder. Afterwards, the agent recalled,
with a shudder, the pale, set features
of the questioner; but it only awak
ened at the time a feeling of curiosity,
which was soon lost amid the busy
cares that followed.
Upon learning this, Mr. Hayden
applied for five thousand additional
insurance for the benefit of his wife,
and ten thousand more for his child.
A few days after his return home,
the policies were forwarded to him.
He handed them to his wifej sayingi
" In the event of my death, this will
be a safe and snre provision for you
and our little Gcorgic."
Mrs. Hayden looked anxiously ins
to the face of her husband, and was
struck with his pale worn aspect.
" You are looking pale and Weary,"
she said; " and no wonder; for you
neither eat nor sleep. Come, lie
down upon the sofa, and I will sit be
side you, as I used to do in the dear
old times.1'
Obeying the guidance of the gen
tle touch upon his arm, Mr. Hayden
lay down upon the sofa, and holding
her hand in his, fell quietly asleep;
his countenance wearing a tranquil
aspect, as though to him all earthly
care was ended.
As Mrs. Hayden gazed upon him
she recalled to mind all his many
words and acts of kindness, down to
this last proof of his thoughtful ten
derness. Of the last charge broucht
against him she knew him to be ini
nocent, and for that one wrongful act,
had not ail his sufferings atoned?
But even then its messenger was
on his way to them.
Mr. Hayden had his little boy upon
his kneej listening to his innocent
prattle, when the United States Mar
shal entered with the warrant for his
arrest.
He took it very quietly; it Was
what he had been expecting daily for
week. He simply aj-ked for a few
hours' delay for the purpose of ob
taining bail, which was granted.
When the -officer had cone Mr.
Itayden Strove to comfort his wife,
who clung, weeping, to him.
" They will hever convict me
Mary,'' he said.
And they never did.
The hour had come for which he
had been making such careful prepa
ration. Did some hope that his in
nocence might be proved, some
clinging to the life so dear to us all,
make him falter in his desperate re
solve? Who can tell We only
know that he called on two friends
and asked them to become his sure
tics, to which they consented.
He then Went home and passed
into his study, telling his wife that
he had some writing to do, and not
to disturb him unless there was ur
gent necessity.
Mr. Hayden had told the Marshal
that he would meet him at a neigh,
boring city in the afternoon, and the
two gentlemen he called upon had
agreed to accompany hira thither.
About an hour later they called for
that purpose.
Comforted by her httsbands assur
ance, Mrs. Hayden had regained her
usual tranquility.
" Run and call papa, Georgie,"
she said to the child, who was play
ing about the room.
Delighted with such a mission, the
lil tie fellow ran gleefully away. He
soon returned, saying:
Papa 'sleep. Georgie can't wake
him!"
With an undefined feeling of un
easiness iu her heart, Mrs. Hayden
hurried to the room.
He was lying upon the sofa, with
his face to the door the white set
face of the dead!
With a sharp and bitter cry the
wife flew to his side. The empty
vial in the cold, nerveless band told
alb The sinning and suffering soul
of George Hayden was before the
tribunal of the wisest, most merciful
of Judgesl
Never did we meet with an in
stance like the above. How strong,
amid the madness of despair, was the
love which manifested itself in such
tender thoughtfulness for the comfort
of those it was to leave behind! And
how solemnly does it speak of " The
One False Step'' that wrecked a
heart so unselfish, a life so full cf
promise.
THE WHOLE ART OF KISSING.
People will kiss, yet not one in a
hundred knows how to extract bliss
from lovely lips, no more than they
know how to make diamonds from
charcoal. And yet it is easy at
least for us I This little item is not
alone for young beginners, but for the
many who go at it like hunting coons
or shelling corn. First know whom
you are to kiss. Don't make a mis
take, although mistakes may be
good. Don't jump up like a trout
for a fly, and smack a woman on the
neck, or on the ear, or on the corner
of the forehead, on the end of her
nose, or slop over oa her waterfall or
bonnet.ribbon, in haste to get
through.
The gentleman should be a little
the tallest. He should have a clean
face, and kind eye, and a mouthful of
expression instead of tobacco. Don't
kiss everything, including nasty little
dogs, male or female. Don't get down
to it. Stand up. Need not be anx
ious to get in a crowd. Two per
sons are a plenty to corner and catch
a kiss. More persons spoil the sport.
Stand firm. It won't hurt any after
you are used to it. Take the left
hand of the lady in your right hand.
Let your hat go to --any place out
of the way! Throw the left hand
gently over the shoulder of the lady,
and let the hand fall down upon the
right side, toward the belt. Don't
be in a harry. Draw her gently to
your loving heart.
Iler head Will fall lightly upon
your shoulder, and a haudsome
shouldersstrap it makes! Don't be
in a hurry; send a little life down
your left arm, and let it know its
business. Her left hand is in your
right. Let there be expression to
that not like the grip ol a vice, but
a gentle clasp, full of electricity,
thought aud respect. Don't be in a
hurry; her head lies carelessly on
your shoulder! You are nearly heart
to heart! Look down into her half
closed eyes! Geutly yet manfully
press her to your bosom. Stand
firm, and Providence will give you
strength for the ordeal. Be brave!
but do not be in a hurry.
Her lips almost open! . Lean
lightly forward with your head, not
the body. Take good aim. The
lips meet the eyes close the heart
opens the soul rides the storm,
trouble and sorrow of life (dont be
in a hurry!) heaven opens before,
the world shoots from under your
feet as a meteor flashes across the
evening sky fdon't be afraid!) the
nerves dance before the jnst created
altar of love as zephyrs dance
with the dew -trimmed flowers the
heart forgets its bitterness and the
art of kissing is learned!
No noise, no fussj no fluttering and
squirming, like a hookimpaled
worm. Kissing don't hurl; aud it
don't require any brass to make it le
gal. Don't jab down on a beautiful
mouth as if spearing frogs! Do not
muss her hair, scratch down her col
lar, bite her cheek, squizzle her rich
ribbons and leave her mussed,
rumpled and flummuxed! Don't
grab and yank the lady as if she was
a struggling colt! Do not flavor
your kisses with onions, tobacco, gin
cocktails, lager beer, brandy, etc.,
for a muddling kiss is worse than the
itch to a delicate, loving, sensible
woman.
There, how, is Our reccipe, free
gratis, for nothing. Try it.
-
PorcLAR Fallacy-. That you can
receive $1 a day, spend 82, and get
rich.
That to do a man one favor, and
then refuse him another, won't make
him twice as mad as if you had refus
ed him the first
That when a friend presents you a
hound it will cost you nothing.
That when jcu buy on credit,
knowing very well you will not pay,
it is not stealing.
That next year's taxes will be light
en
That every other man is to die ex
cept you.
That if you have a good cause in
love, war, or law, pitch in, aud you
are bound to win.
That you can play draw poker and ;
loose just so much and no more. j
That there is one way, known on j
ly to yourself, to break a faro bank.
That when you buy a horse he will
be certain to turn out as represen
ted. That if you always say what you
think, you will win the regard of the
entire community.
Austrian Archduke Henry has
actually married an actress to the
horror of the Hapsburg3, and at last
accounts was on bis wedding trip.
XiOCALj DIALECTS.
All over the Old World the trav
eler, especially if he is anything of a
linguist, is struck by the vast variety
of the local dialects the same lan
guages being spoken, except among
educated men, with every possible
form of local patois. This is accoun
ted for in msny ways, but mostly by
the fact that each of the different na
tionalities of Europe is composite of
many tribe?, long since absorbed and
"digested," bat each leaves its almost
indellible local impression
Americans are apt to imagine that
such a state of things does not exist
in their own country; nor does it to
so great an extent, though the Ger
man element, in its various forms,
has done a good deal for some local
ities. One peculiar section of the
country has developed a dialect of
its own, and the fo'lowing specimen,
which we find ia an Arkansas paper,
does not i:i the least exaggerate its
philological eccentricities. The pres
ent tense cf the verb "to do" is rare
ly used, but it is otherwise conjuga
ted thus i
Imperfect I done it. Then don
cst it. He done it.
Plural - We uns done it. You
tins done it. They uns done it.
Perfect I gone done it. He gone
done it They gone doue it.
Plural We uns gone done it.
Y"ou uns gone done it. They uns
gone done it.
Plu-Perfect t done gone done It.
You done gone done it. He done
gone done it.
Plural We uns done gone done
it. You uns done gone done it.
They uns done gone done it.
Future I gwyne done it. You
gwyne done it. He gwyne done it.
Plural We uns gwyne done it.
You uns gwyne done it. They uns
gwyne done it.
Future Perfect I gwyne gone
dene it. lou gwyne gone done it
He gwyne gone done it.
Plural We uns gwyne gone done
it. lou uns gwyne gone done it.
They uns gwyne gone done it.
Many Facts In a Small Compass,
- The number of languages spoken
is a.oyj.
The number of men is equal to
uumber of women.
The average of human life is about
33 years.
One quarter of the human race die
before the age of seven.
To every 1,000 persons one rarely
reaches the age of 100 years, and not
more than one in 500 will reach the
age of SO.
There ate on earth 1,000,000,000
inhabitants. Of these about 83,333,
333 die every year, 91,824 die every
day, 7,GS0 every hour, and 00 every
minute. These losses are balanced
by an equal number of births.
The married are longer lived than
the single.
Tall men live longer than short
or.esj
Women have more chances of life
previous to the age of 50 years, but
fewer after that age than men.
The number of marriages is in
proportion of 70 to 100. Marriages
are more frequent after the equinoxes,
that is, during the months of June
and December.
Those born in the spring are more
robust than the others.
Births and deaths are more fre
quent by night than by day.
Martin Van Buren is the only
man who held the offices of President
Vice President, Minister to England,
Governor of his own State, and mem
ber of both houses of Congress.
Thomas H. Benton is the only man
who held a seat in the United States
Senate for thirty consecutive years.
The only instance of father and son
in the United States Senate, at the
same time, is that of Hon. Henry
Dodge, Senator from Wisconsin, and
his son, Augustus Q Dodge, Senator
from Iowa. General James Shields
is the only man who ever represent
ed two States in the United States
Senate. At one time he was Sena
tor from Illinois and subsequently
from Minnesota. John Quincy
Adams held positions under the govs
eminent during every administration
from that of Washington to that ol
Polk, during which he died. He had
been Minister to England, member
of both houses of Congress, Secretary
of State, and President of the United
States. He died while a member of
the House of Representatives.
An old bt-o'ielor in New York
offered a young lady a pony for a kiss.
She sued him. He pleaded no con
sideration. The Court decided that
a kiss was a legal consideration,
and made him pony up.
It is said Andy Johnson, at the
suggestion of Mrs. Cobb, and in pur
suance of his practice in pardoning
rebels, proposes to issue a pardon to
to himself, in advance, and plead it
in defence on bis trial.
MEM OF OUR TIMfiS
s In this new work by Harriet
Beecher Stowe, in her chapter , on
Gen. Grant, sb a says 1 1 7;
"Among his qualities af somp
plain and commonplace , -virtues
Such is his unflinching adherence .to
what he thinks right. Such is hia
unconditional public and private Hon
esty. This was well exemplified Ifi
the solicitous care with which he kept
the cotton business outside of his
command in the West as long as pos
sible, from a. welUfounded dlsliko
of its immense "corrupting power.
When at last he had to consent to
the progress of the trade in territory
taken from the rebels, lie epecified
that it should be kept In the hands of
honest, trusty and undoubted Unioa
men. He was asked to name such
men. He replied, ' I will do no such
thing. If I did, it would appear in
less than a week that I was a partner
of every one of these persons trading
under my authority.' Another such
virtue is that scrupulous official
economy by which General Grant
has already saved our overtaxed
country five million dollars a yeaf ,
by cutting down the expenses of the
War Department.
He also pesesses other Tery no"
liceable qualifications of a more spe
cial sort, and so much rarer among
men, that tbey must be named even
In the shortest inventory of General
Grant's character. Two of these are,
the broadest and most generous jus
tice in attributing the credit of doing
well where it belongs, and remarka
ble Wisdom in judging and selecting
men. Ol the former, his letter to
Sherman at the time of his Rppoint
ment as Lieutenant General, is A
good iustance. f)
Of his wisdom ill selecting assistants
and subordinates, the list of their
names is very sufficient evidence.
The proved possession of this one
faculty goes very far to prove that
its possessor is competent to govern,
and where a strong will and stainlessP
public and private morals are added,
the presumption grows very touch
stronger A gigantic power of mind
ing his own business and holding his
own tongue is cVen a greater wonder
In General Grant than his successful
resistance of the most Violent pump
ing of him for a speech has been gtv
en; and other such brilliant ' flashes
of silence' as Sidney Smith would
have called them, illuminate his whole
career during and since the war."
- --
City Beverages. -The Chicago
Times, in congratulating the inhabi-
tants of that city upon the excellency
and plenty of its drinking Waters ob
tained from Lake Michigan through
the agency of its gigantic submarine
tunnel, refers to the costliness of the
other Water works of the Slates com
pared with their own. The total
cost of the Chicago water works to
the 1st of January, was $2,701,204,
and that of the other cities of the
States are as follows t
" The New Y'ork water works, O
which conduct the water a distance
of thirty-three miles, cost $23,500
000. The Boston water works, whit h
convey the water a distance of $23
miles from the city, cost $o,500,000.
The Brooklyn water works cost $5,
000.000. The Philadelphia water
works cost $3,100,000. The Wash
ington water works cost $2,800,000.
T'he St. Louis water works cost $1,
000,000. The New Orleans water
works cost $1,400,000. The Cincin
nati water works cost $1,350,000."
Thus Croton (New York) is the dear
est water drank. Not that the
source of flow is so distant, nor tho
quality of a chalybeate character, but
somehow we never get cheap things
We manage things in such a pecu
liar manner that even water, which
one would suppose is the common
right of man, is almost as costly here
as more pernicious liquids.
, , . o
Home. What a long array of
pleasant reflections arise at the mens
tion of this simple word ! " Home
home, sweet home, be it ever o Q
humble; there's ho place like home I
Charmingly has the poet expressed'
it, and his song will be sung while
there is taste in the world Home,1
the abiding place of our affections,
the dear green spot of earth to which
we are always glad to turn, whether
in joy or sorrow, glory or shame!. Sa
cred to the heart is the mention of
home ! Tfco weary traveler in a for.
eign land feels his heart beat quickly,'
his eye grows brighter, and his coun
tenance is lit with a happy smile at
the thought of home t A mother, a
sister, a forget me-not, may lie coxily
at the bottom of that good 6miie,
which spreads its crimson light over,
his countenance. The mariner tossed
on the stormy ocean, tempest driven
and in dispair, turns his last sad
thoughts to the dear home ol his .
childhood, made sweeter and purer
bv a honeless distance intervening.
Dear to the heart are the scene "of.
childhood ! Truly spake the
there is no place like home I .
0