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About Oregon City enterprise. (Oregon City, Or.) 1866-1868 | View This Issue
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OREGON CITY, OREGON, SATURDAY, APRIXj 27, 1867.
l)c iDcckln (Enterprise
PUBLISHED EVERT SATCRDAT MORXIXO
By D. O. IRELAND,
OFFICE: South east corner of Fifth and
Mvix streets, in the building lately known
as the Court House, Oregon City, Oregon.
Terms of Subscription.
bne copy, one year in advance $3 00
"0 44 il delayed 4 00
Terms cf Advertising.
o Transient advertisements, one square
(12 lines or less) first insertion ...$'2 50
O For each subsequent insertion 100
Business Curds one square per annum
O payable- quarterly 12 00
One column per annum 100 00
One half column " 50 00
On- quarter " " ....GO 00
0 Local advertising at the established rates.
1, A. L
... !t ,- nr Holds its regular
- - j 1 1 f
communications on the first am. tlurd
urdavs of each month, at half past six .p- M-
Brethren in good standing are invited to
sittend. Br order of W. M.
Oregon City, Nov. Gtb, 1SGG. 3:ly
'':'-''?'f' Oregon Ledge Xo. 3, I. O.
'8&dr of O. P. Meets every Wednes-'-;,;vn
evening at 7 o'clock, in the
Masonic Hall. Members of the order are in
ited to attend. By order N. G. 3:iy
"WillamcUc rjtlgc So. 151. O. G. T.
Meets every Saturday evening, at the rooms
.Scl. corner of Main and Fifth streets, at 7 1-2
o'clock. Visiting members are invited to
attend. 1 7J
By order of V,r. C. T.
w . c. jouxso.w r. o. :,i cowx.
JOHNSON & McCGWIS,
OREGON CITY', OREGON.
;C-v? Will attend all business entrusted
t,i our care in any of the Courts of the .State,
lleet money, negotiate loans, sell real cs
""Particular attention given to contested
1 :md cases. l.vl
o D. BI. McKENNEY,
Attorney and Counsellor at Laic.
VfUAj ATTEND PROMPTLY TO ALL
business etitrusted to his care
Office One door north of Hell .t Parker's
Drug store, Oregon City, Oregon. 3:ly
S II U S Li A T ,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Q Oregon City, Oregon.
Ollice over Charman & Brother. $:ff
(Formerly Surgeon to the Hon. II. B. Co.)
OFFICE: At JRevhhnce,
Qlain .Street (.".2) Oregon City.
Dr. H. Salf jirrariS,
PHYSICIAN' and SURGEON.
O c3 .
OFFICE In J. Fleming's Book Store.
Main fit red, Oregon City. (5
Permanently Located at Oregon City-, Oregon.
R?oms over Charman k Bro.'s store. Main
qTT ONLY NECESSARY TO LET THE
X public be informed that
T.L. HACK. Artist.
Has removed to the Photographic Rooms on
3hiin street, lately occupied by Morrison C.
Athey, whera)he is prepared to execute bet
ter work lh m ever.
(For Children's Pictures the best hours are
between 9 and 12 o'clock a. m. 23. ly
JAMES EL TilOOBE,
Justice of the Peace City Recorder.
Office In the Court House nud City
Council Room, Oregon City.
Wilt attend to the acknowledgment of
deeds, and all other duties appertaining to
.the oilice of Justice of the Peace. 2:ly
J elm Fleming,
DEALER in BOOKS and STATIONERY.
Thankful for the patronage heretofore re
.ceived, respectfully solicits a continuance
of the favors of a generous public.
llis store is between Jacobs' md Acker-
man's bricks, on the west side of Main street.
Oregon City, October 27th, 'Go. (tf
CONTRACTOR and BUILDER,
q Main street, Oregon City.
Will attend to ail work in his line, con
sisting in part of Carpenter and Joiner work
training, building, etc. Jobbing promptly
(9 -r ID SMITH W. H. MARSHALL.
SMITH h IiT Ail SHALL,
Black-Smiths and Boiler Makers.
Corner of Mai-jhand Third streets,
Oregon City . .
Ulacltsmithin'r in all its branches. Boiler
smal;mg and reinuriug. All work warranted
4o give satisfaction.3 (52
Manufacturer and Dealer in
SADDLES, HARNESS, etc., 0c,
Main street, between Third and Fourth,
tentujn of parties desiring anything
X in ciy line, is directed to mystock, be
lore making purchases elsewhere.
JJy) JOHN SCHRAM.
, A. LEYY,
Mam Street, at the Telegraph Office,
Oregon City Oregon.
Eester's Ready-made Clothing,
Cigars, Tobacco. Pipes, Stationery,
Cutlery, Willow and Wooden
R -are, Yankee Notions,
iam:y and staple Groceries, Candies, Nuts,
Toys, etc. " (62
Nearly Opposite Woolen Factory.
T. W. RHOADES, Proprietors.
Oregon City. Orep-nn.
We invite the citizens of Oregon City, and
the traveling public, to eive us a share of
their patronage. Meals can be had at all
hours, to please the rrost fastidious. f 15
Main Street, one door north of the Woolen
Oregon City Oregon.
"Vm. Barlow, Proprietor.
The proprietor, thankful for the continued
patronage he has received, would inform the
public that he will continue his efforts to
pleast his guests. (52
Professor A. J. Rutjes,
fJILL be glad to receive a cumber ol
Pupils at his
MUSIC ROOM AT THE CLIFF HOUSE,
He will also continue to give instructions at
private residences. No charge for the use
of the piano. My pupils will please give me
notice when ready to commence. 27:y
Jpjiper Masmf Co.
Alannjacture, and have constantly on
hand, a very Superior Article of
Straw Wrapping Paper.
i.rt?'" Orders will receive prompt attention.
22.1yJ J. D. MILLER, Secretary.
KEEP CONSTANTLY ON HAND FOR SALE :
PR A N A ND CHICKEN' FEED !
37" Parties wanting feed must furnish
their sacks. LS.Sm
BEE WEE, Y !
HEN 11 Y II UMBEL,
Having purchased the above Brewery,
wishes to inform the public that he is now
prepared to manufacture a No. 1 quality of
As good as can be obtained anywhere in the
State. Orders solicited and promptly filled.
Oregon City, December 23th, 1805. lOtf
ri,. . cy Drayman,
ii3SBSE3 OREGON CITY.
All orders for the delivery of merchandise,
or packages end freight of whatever descrip
tion, to any part of the city, will be executed
promptly and with care. 16.6m
JOHN" MYERS. XKJXJXJ H. C. MYERS.
J. MYERS & BROTHER,
-lac sip Cs&sla. Stoi4 !
Under the Court House, in. Oregon- City.
Dry Goods, Boots and Shoes. Clothing,
Groceries, Hardware, etc., etc.,
Which they propose to sell as cheap as any
House in Oregon.
Oregon City, October 23, 1S60. 2:ly
Main street, Oregon Citv,
7?w- Adjoining the Brick Store of
M'rt S. Ackerman.
CbsS'C JAMES MAX.V, Propr.
This popular saloon is always supplied
with the vei v best quality of Wines and
Liquors, Ale, "Porter, 15eer and Cider, Cigars
and Tobacco. Give me a call.
7:lyJ JAMES MANX.
Fashion Billiard Saloon
Main street, between Second and Third,
J. C. Mann, Proprietor.
rrMIE above long established and popular
X Saloon is yst" a favorite resort, and as
onlv the choicest brands of Wines, Liquors
and Cigars are dispensed to customers a
share of the public patronage is solicited,
(ly) J. C. MANN.
Side Main Street, heticeen Second and
Third, Oregon City.
GEORGE A. HAAS Proprietor.
The proprietor begs leave to inform bis
friends and the public generally that the
above named popular saloon is open for their
accommodation, with a new ana wen assori-
ti f.hest brands ox wines,
liquors and cigars.
0 AN E M AH STORE!
JAMES MORFITT & CO.,
WOULD INFORM THE PUBLIC Es
pecially of Canfinah, that they hayp
established a 'Store at that place, where they
will keep on hand a well .assorted stock of
Merchandise and Groceries.
which will be sold at reasonable rates, for the
purpose of establishing permanently such a
necessity at Cauemah. Try us. (7:ly
I,. JAY S.TURXEY,
HAVING LEASED THE ABOVE HOTEL
is prepared to accommodate the public
in as good style as any house on the coast.
He has determined to make the Bennett as
good as the best, and better than any public
house in Salem. Charges moderate.
Front Street, Portland, Oregon.
Plans, Specifications, and accurate
working drawings prepared on short notice
after the latest approved style. (ly)
Ask voor neighbor to subscribe
! for the Enteufiuse.
One sweetly solemn thought,
Comes to me o'er and o'er,
I'm nearer home to-day
Than e'er I was before.
Nearer my father's house,
"Where many mansions be,
Nearer the great white throne,
Nearer the jaspar sea.
Nearer the bounds of life,
Where we lay our burdens down.
Nearer leaving the cross,
Nearer taking the crown.
But by lying dark between,
Looming up through the night,
Is the dim and unknown stream,
That leads at last to light.
Close and closer my feet,
Draw to the dark abyss,
Closer death to my lips,
Presses the creadful kis3.
Father, perfect ray trust,
Strengthen my faltering faith,
That I may not fear to stand
On the rocky shores of Death.
Mtstkry. la the beauty of form, or of
moral character, or the material creation,
it is that iclnch is most veiled which is most
beautiful. The mysteries of the heart and
of nature are the delight of the intellect,
the soul and the eyes. It seems as if the
Creator had drawn a shadow over what
ever He has made most delicate and most
divine to highlen our aspirations after it
by its secrecy, and to soften its lustre from
our gaze, as he has placed lids over our
eyes to temper" the impression of light
upon them, and nigL't over the stars to
incite us to follow and seek them in their
airy ocean, and measure His power and
greatness by these studs ol fire which His
fingers, as they touch the vault of heaven,
have stamped on the firmament. Valleys
are the mysteries of landscapes ; the more
we long to penetrate them, the more they
try to wind, bun-, and hide themselves.
Mist is to mountains what illusion is to
love it elevates them. Mystery hovers
over everything here below, and solemn
izes all things to the eyes and heart.
Tue Max Without ax Enemy. Heaven
help the man who imagines he can dodge
enemies'-' by trying to please everybody!
If such an individual ever succeeded, Ave
should be glad to know it. Not that we
believe in a man's going through the
world trying to find beams to knock his
head against ; disputing every man's opin
ion, fighting and elbowing and crowding
all who differ from him. That again is an
other extreme. Other people have a right
to their opinions so have you 5 don't fall
into the error of supposing they will re
spect you less for maintaining them or
respect you more for turning your coat
every day to match the color of theirs.
Wear your own colors, spite of wind and
weather, storms and sunshine. It costs
the vacillating and irresolute teu times the
trouble to wind and shuffle and twist,
that it does honest, manly independence
to stand its ground. Take what time you
please to make up your mind ; but having
made it up, stick to it.
Good Advice. Mothers and wives will
duly appreciate this, which we find float
ing about on the sea of journalism :
" Drunk I" said the mother. And she bent
her head in unutterable sorrow. In that
moment, the visions of a useful and honor
able career were destroyed, and one of
worth lessness, if not absolute poverty,
presented itself. Well did she know that
intemperance walks hand in hand with
poverty, shame and death, and her
mother's heart was pierced as with a sharp
pointed steel. Ah, young man ! if the holy
feeling of love for her who bore you is
not dead withia you, shun that which
gives her pain, and adhere to that which
gives her joy. If she is with you on earth,
she does not, cannot desire to see her son
a drunkard ; if she is with her Father in
heaven, shun that course of life which
shuts the gates of heaven against you, and
debars you from her society forever.
Tue Mo3T Beautiful IIaxd. Two
charming women were discussing one day
what it is which constitutes beauty in the
hand. They differed in opinion as in the
shape of the beautiful member whose mer
its they were discussing. A gentleman
friend presented himself, and by common
consent, the question was referred to him.
It was a delicate mat-ier. He thought of
Paris and the three goddesses. Glancing
from one to the other of the beautiful white
hands presented him, which by the way,
he had the cunning to hold for some time
in his own, for the purpose of examination,
replied at last : "I give it up ; the question
is too hard for me ; but ask the poor, and
they will tell you that the most beautiful
hand in the world, is the hand that gives."
Study of the Bible. Looking at the
Bible merely as an historical fact, as a
power in the world, which has influenced
the opinions, and directed the life, and
quickened the heart of millions ; which has
been inspiration to tho greatest minds of
the race ; which has lifted up nations from
barbarism ; which has been the spring of
that philanthropy which is the boast of
our civilization ; and which is now the
professed guide of three hundred millions
of our fellow men ; surely these facts,
apart from any consideration of its Divine
origin, of its claims to be a revelation
from God, demand for it a respectful at
tention and diltnent study, from any one
who would be considered a well-informed
and intelligent man.
Commerce of A"cw Yorlc.
The greatness, rapid growth and impor
tance of the commerce which centers in
New York is well shown by a few figures
which the New York Evening Post has
gathered from capital tables and reports.
The average yearly value of exports and
imports at that port during the period
from 1820 to 1SG0, is shown by this table :
Y-ars. Exports. Imports.
1 82130 ... $ 21.5S3.326 ... $ 3G,337.9."6
183140 27.9.38,810 75.392.170
181150. . . ..38.532.293 75.767,184
1S51 60 111,331,1G4.. . .191,515,429
The tonnage cleared during the same
period was :
1S21 30.. 239,176
1831 40.. 701.959
1841 50.. 1.522.101
1851 60.. 3,275.791
Of which two thirds was American,
During the fiscal year ending June 30.
1865, before we were fairly out of the
war, the total value of imports received in
all the United States collection districts
(excepting New Orleans for the second
quarter of 18C5, and San Francisco for tho
fourth quarter of 186 4 and the first and
second quarters of 1865). was $233,434,167,
of which $66,322,504 was brought in Ameri
can vessels, and $168,111,663 in foreign
vessels. The total value of exports from
the United States during the same year
was $336,679,123, of which less than one
fourth was carried away in American ves
sels, though nine-tenths was of domestic
The share of New York in this trade is
shown by the following figures ; The im
ports at this port were, in American ves
sels, $38,092,209 ; in foreign vessels,
$137,891,780 making a total ol $175,
983,989. The exports from New York
were, in American vessels, $45,49S,264 ;in
foreign vessels, $202,13S.341 in all,
$247,636,606. Of these exports also more
than nine tenths was of American pro
duce. These figures set forth the prostration of
our shipping interest. We used to carry
for the world, but foreigners now control
for their ships the greater part of our own
New York is the natural terminus of
nearly 35,000 miles of railroad. These
railroads are, however, only auxiliaries,
as two thirds of our internal trade is borne
by canals and river. Every mile of rail
road built in the remote districts beyond
the Mississippi makes its influence felt
here ; and how rapidly these channels of
communication are increasing, may be
seen in the fact that Minnesota, which two
years ago was without a single railroad,
has now five in operation, with a total
length of 360 miles. In the State of New
York there were in 1860 in operation 1403
miles of railroad, constructed at an ex
pense of $65,460,123 ; in 1860 we had 2701
miles, costing $131,320,542. During the
war no material additions were made. The
total length of canals in this State is 1026.
Through all of these interior channels the
wealth of one of the broadest producing
areas on the globe is poured into our city.
The accounts kept by the secretary of
the Corn Exchange, of staple receipts here
during the several years of the civil war
down to the close of the year 1866, afford
trustworthy data from which to estimate
the fluctuations of our interior trade under
the vicissitudes of the war and the influ
ence of restored peace. During the rebel
lion the Southern States contributed noth
ing to our market, and since the opening
up of that portion of the country a great
deal of western produce finds its way
through its old southern channels, while
southern agriculture has scarcely begun
to send its products which in ensuing
years will pour upon us in greatly increas
The fact that the current year shows a
smaller percentage of receipts than either
of the first two years of the rebellion
(1861$2 and 1862-3) is not to be attributed
to crop failures or a decreasing produc
tiveness of the soil. The war swept away
four hundred thousand men. a large pro
portion of whom were taken from agri
cultural pursuits, leaving in some in
stances large districts without a force suf
ficient to make even a respectable show at
farming, and the heavy drain on this use
ful class of our population is plainly visi
ible in its effect on our markets.
With regard to the single staple of Cot
ton, the Corn Exchange tables show re
ceipts through interior channels as follows :
18G1-2, none reported; 168,394
pi,es 1863-4, 265,685 bales ; 1864-5, 354,
121 bales ; 1865-6, 975.865 bales, and from
May 1 to December 31. 186G. 374,454
bales. Grain and Breadstuff's fluctuated
arbitrarily, and the tables from which we
draw our figures do not report Tobacco, a
very important staple.
The same sources a'aow the comparative
staple exports hence to other domestic
ports for the fiscal year 1865-6, and the
current fiscal year to December 31, 1866,
as follows :
Flour.bbls. . , .
Lard, 100 lbs
Hams and Racon, do.2, 602,704. . .
Corn, bushels ,6.-4.212. . .
"Wheat, busbe!s 2,602,794. . .
The Corn Exchange tables are presumed
to give a comprehensive statement of the
receipts and shipments of produce at this
port to and from the interior ; they are at
least correct as far as they go, and cover
sufficient ground to afford safe data for
making a general estimate. Comparing
the prices of this year with those of last
year, we find that Cotton ranges at 10
cents lower, Flour from $2 to $4 higher
barrel, Corn a shade lower, Oats vary
bat little, and Whisky ranges from 9 to 19
The salmon, when out of condition and
unfit for human food, goes down to the
sea. And what does he do there? Not a
single human being knows what he does ;
but we do know, however, that be goes
down a poor, miserable-looking, lean
thing, but comes back a plump, fat, jolly,
silver-scaled fellow. We only know that
he finds good food in the estuaries of riv
ers ; and a most curious thing it is in the
history of the salmon that, as the swallow
returns to her own nest, the bee to its own
hive, the pigeon to its own dove-cot, so
the salmon always returns home to its own
river, if not captured or destroyed by its
numerous enemies during its journey. The
best instance of this has been communi
cated to the public by the Earl of Dun
more. He caught, on his property in the
Isle of Harris, in the Hebrides, some 20 or
30 fish. These he marked and carried
alive in his yaekt to the opposite side of
the island, where they were turned into a
lake. In the course of the same seasou in
which they were transported, it was ascer
tained that some of these very fish had
come back again, all the way home, a cir
cuit of forty miles at least, through the
pathless waters of the broad Atlantic.
They must, in their course, have passed
the mouths of six or seven rivers, up which
they did not ascend, though there was
nothing in the world to prevent them.
Such is 0:10 of the many instances of the
wonderous power which guides salmon
back to their own river. This faculty we
call instinct," a word not nearly expres
sive enough. One reads that the salmon
seeks freshwater to get rid of the parasitic
insect the sea lice of the fishermen. This,
in my belief, is a simple accident. I at
tribute his journey to a much higher cause.
The ultimate object of the salmon is
to get to the upper waters to lay their
eggs ; for no salmon ever has or ever will
breed iu the sea, though an old Act for
bids pigs to be allowed to M-ander along
the shore at certain seasons, because they
eat the salmon eggs. An impulsive in
stinct teaches the salmon that, in order
that its young should hatch and thrive, the
eggs must be deposited in gravel, and that
shallow, rapid and cold water must go
over them. These conditions are to be
found only in the upper tributaries of a
river, and it seeks them accordingly. The
fish, having performed its task of building
its nest and laying its eggs, returns to the
sea to recruit its strength.
Unrequited Love axid Suicide.
A pair of Celestials have in the last two
days, says the Statesman of the 6th, fur
nished the Boise public with successive
acts of fun and tragedy after a fashion
very much like outside barbarians similar
ly circumstanced. Ah IIoo was a China
man of the male persuasion, and being
subject to human frailitics, formed a strong
attachment for a sister of the sun named
Yon Choi. Now Yon Choi appears to
have been owned by another Chinaman,
who bought her in San Francisco and
brought her up to Idaho as a business ad
venture, as if she had been a given num
ber of sacks of rice or boxes of tea. Un
derstanding something of barbarian law,
Ah IIoo determined to supercede the
financial claim upon his inamorata by tak
ing advantage of our statue relating to
marriage. Accordingly he called iu re
quisition the services of Justice Lindsey,
and was on Thursday duly made husband
of Yon Choi, " in the name of . the people
of the United States in the Territory of
Idaho.'' But Ah Hoo not having done
sufficient wooing before the wedding, his
partner in a few hours left him. to luxuri
ate with her former owner. Ah Hoo was
disconsolate and forlorn. Criminal com
plaint was made and arrest followed, when
an examination took place before Justice
Lindsey. who was obliged to dismiss all
hands, first advising Ah IIoo to take his
wife in possession. But Yon Choi, not
having the fear nor the respect of marital
obligations before her eyes, refused to go
with Ah Hoo, and went with his enemy,
her owner. Ah IIoo insisted on being dis
consolate and refused to be comforted.
He declared he would kill himself, and
put the threat, in execution yesterday
morning by blowing his bowels through
with a shotgun.
Illustrative The Denver Xeics gets
off the following : A little donkey about as
large as Hunt & Co.'s policy, is just pass
ing our window with a big cookstove
lashed on its back, and supported on either
side by a Mexican. The outfit is not un
like the Hunt copperhead party of Colo
rado, which is represented by the donkey
we beg its pardon while the big stove
is Alec, that they undertook to carry, and
the supporting hands represent tho money
that friends of the movement had to pay
to board Mr. Hunt at Washington. Just
ahead ol the donkey, and rapidly gaining
in distance, is a load of hay. This repre
sents the public plunder that the party
are after, but unfortunately tue pacu.
heavy. Poor little donkey.
The Boarding House. A writer in the
February Atlantic hits the nail on the head
when he says, ' the boarding house is a
parody of home, a caricature of comfort,
and a forgery of society,' and" its epoch
is the age of brass, that fictitious metal,
whose soTe virtue lies in its factitious re
semblance to something better."
Sam Slick said of all the deaths, he pre
ferred that of freezing : for then One could
go off with a etiffupper lip."
"The Grey Mare i tlie Ucttcr Horse."
The application of this proverb is well
known, but not so w ell the story on which
it is founded. A gentleman who had seen
the world, one day gave his eldest son a
span of horses, a chariot, and a basket of
eggs. " Do you," said he to the boy,
" travel upon the high road until you come
to the first house in which is a married
couplo. If you find that the husband is
the master there, give him one of the
horses. If, on the contrary, the wife is the
ruler, give her an egg. Return at once if
you part with a horse, but do not come
back so long as you keep both horses and
there is an ecg remaining."
Away went the boy, full of his mission,
and just beyond the borders of his father's
estate, lo ! a modest cottage. He alighted
from his chariot and knocked at the door.
The good wife opened it for him and
" Is your husband at home ?"
No ;' but she would call him from the
In he came, wiping his brows. The
young man told them his errand.
" Why," says the wife, bridling and roll
ing the comer of her apron, I always do
as John wants me to do ; he is my master.
Aint you, John! ?"'
" Then," said the boy, " I am to give
you a horse, which will you take V
" I think," said John, " as how that bay
gelding would suit me best."
" If we have a choice, husband." said
the wife, " I think the grey mare will suit
" No," replied John, " the bay for me ;
he is more square in front, and his legs
"Now," said the wife, '-'I don't think so;
the grey mare is the better horse, and I
shall never be contented unless I get that
Well," said John, " if your mind is set
on it, I'll give up ; we'll take the grey
" Thank you," said the boy ; " allow
me to give you an egg from this basket ;
it is a nice fresh one, and you can boil it
hard or soft, as your wife will allow."
The rest of the story you may imagine ;
the young man came home with both
horses, but not an egg remained in the
A "Dem'd Unpleasant Grind. "The
Cop. organs, with great unanimity, stig
matize the bill to regulate the tenure of
office, as the greatest outrage ever perpe
trated upon any people. Their objection
to it, is this, that in effect, as they say, it
subjects any Democrat who accepts of a
Government office, to a fine of $10,000
and five years imprisonment. To be de
prived of the privilege of holding a Gov
ernment office, is to a copperhead, the
greatest indignity that could be offered
him. Were the conditions literally as
stated, there would still be found an
tedeluvian " seeds" of the copperhead
species, willing to accept office, and to
take the " chances" on suffering the pen
alty imposed. Life to a copperhead with
out office, is about what a summer with
out ice would be to au inhabitant of the
torrid zone a dem'd unpleasant grind."
Such is Fame. How soon a man is for
gotton, even though he may have been a
great man, or, at least a man occupying
a prominent position ! Soon after Lord
Palmerston's death, the construction of a
monument in the shape of a mortuary
chapel, Romsey Church, in his native town
was projected and subscriptions solicited.
It is announced that the project has been
abandoned, on accouut of the sraallness of
the sum raised, and sumptuous monument
of the Premier of England dwindles down
into an ordinary stained glass memorial
window in the church. But the worst is
not yet told. The sum raised9 is not suffi
cient for even the cost of that, and Lady
Palmerston and her son, Mr. Cowper, are
to make up the deficiency out of their own
pockets. And yet this was the great Lord
Ax Invitation'. The Boise Statesman
says : " Gen. Steele and a few other fast
boys were arrested and fined five dollars
each for rapid driving in Portland, re
cently. The Webfeet are getting to be
puritanical as the dickens, lately ; don't
let the boys have any fun at all. Come
up here, General, and chase Indians awhile:
it will rid you of the passion for fast driv
ing.perhaps." The General, unfortunately,
before the invitation reached Portland,
was en route for the East to " report to his
regiment." "What deuced sham, humbug
gerv, are these " military movements."
Rousseau is to take hi.s place when he
In- the Cemeteuy. " You have no chil
dren, Madame?" said the particular pro
prietor of a quiet house, before letting a
lady the best apartments. "They are in
the cemetery," was the gloomy reply. A
tear was attempted on the part of the land
lord, the agreement was signed, and the
next day the lady arrived with a couple of
youngsters. " I thought your children
were in the cemetery ?" said the landlord.
" So they were, yesterday, Sir," was the
reply, " placing a few flowers on tne grave
of oar former landlord, who was nervous,
and, to tell the truth, so irritable that"
" I understand, Madame ; 1 understand,
said the enraged owner ; "your children
Ixdian Ixk. Make lampblack and gum
water into a thick paste, and mould it.
To clean wall paper use wheat bran.
A Good Joke.
When I used to tencfttore in Syracuse;
the old man came apund one day, and
sa vs he : 0
" Boys, the one that sells the most 'twixt
now and Christmas, gets a vest pattern as
Maybe we didn't work fothat vest,
pattern ! 1 tell you there were some tall
stories told in praise of goods just about
that time. But the tallQt talker, and tho
one that had more cheek than any of us
was a certain Jonah Squires, ho roomed
with me. ift could lake a dollar out of a
mail's pocket, when the fnan only intended,
to spend a sixpence. And the women
Lord bless you! ihey just hagded over
their pocXet books to him, and let hi lay
out what he pleased for them.
One night Jonah woke me up with :
"By Jo, old fellow, if you think that
ere's got any cotton in it, I'll bring down
the sheep that it was cut from and mak
liira swear to his own wtl ! 'Twon't
wear out either ; I wor,e a pair of pants cf
that stuff for five years, and they're as
good now as wkeX first 'em on ! Take
it at thirty cents, and I'rLsay you owe md
nothing. Eh? t& dear! Ye call it
twenty-eight cents. What d'ye say ? Shall
I tear it ? All right ; its a bargain."
I could feel Jonah's hand playing about
the bedclothes for an instant, then rip !
tear ! went something or another; and I hid
my head under the blankets, perfectly
convulsed with laughter, a:nd suro-that
Jonah had torn the sheet fronytop to bot
tom. When I woke up the next morning
I found alas ! unkindest cut of all ihki
the back of my night shirt was split frtmi
tail to collar band !
Webster's Dictioxaiiy Wc can just
now begin to understand the tegpnt exten'-Q
sive and fitter criticism pronounced by
the Democratic organs throughout the
country upon Webster's Dictionary. The
following is a straic in the sequel :
"Johnny, get your dictionary, andcjUdl
me what tlm word Democrat means,' said
an old Vallandighanimer to his hopeful.
The son complied and soon read as fol
" Dariocratn., One who adheres to a
government by the people, or faVjors the
extension f the right of suffrage to all
clashes of men."
" Hold on, Jclirf, dofcgit say all daises
of men"?'-' .
" Yes. dad."
" Who's ihe maker of that dictionary ?M
" Webster." O "
" Oh. that blasted old Whig ! Always
thought he was sort of favoring the ni
gefs! Johnny, you needn't read that dic
tionary any more. I'll see abot(t-getting
iue ngui ivinu, uen 1 next go 10 town.'
Ax EucextrichT'xiayq:. In a work en
titled "English Eccentricities," recently
published in London, may be found the
following extempore prayer, attributed
by the author to a certain Mr. Ward :
" Lord, thou knowest that I possess ninrj
houses in the city t' LondonT) and $iat. f
have recently bought an estate in tbo
county of Essex. Preserve, therefore. I
pray thee, the two counties of -Middlesex
and Essex from fires and e;03fhqnakes. and
as I have an hypothecated estate in Hert
fordshire, look also wilh compassion upon
that county : as to th? other rtions of
tho country do as fhowilt. Lord, con
solidate the Royal Bank, that it mav honor
its notes. Let all my debtors be" or be
come honest men. Give a prosperous and
speeuy passage iocjme sioop Jiennaai. as
I am responsiblefor the insurance.
serve me from robbers and brigands.
Make all my servants faithful and devoted1.
that they may watch over my interest3
and not relax their diligence bv dav or
Opeuatic. The enterprising Lakeshor
neighbors of Milwaukee, Wis., deterrnimSi
not to be behind their rivals o ft hicago hi
the matter ol catering to enlightened pu'l
lic taste and furore for tho brightest stars
of the Opera, sought to induce Ristori to
tisit their city and hold forth a season ;
but the following reply iron? Monsieur
Grau, will tell why the Milwaukians were
not gratified, etc : O
." Shentlesmen, I thanks you generalTr
foryour invite to come.Cbut de grand ex
pense he be too much for mine darling lit
tle angle. I takes a special trains, do vou
see, and that he cost de grand monish.
Den I loose dA0 to St. Louis ; and I pay?-
mine angle irirre vot I gets in Milwaukee,
and dat is very bad. Oh. no, shentlemens.
1 likes de Milwaukee very much, whaj; you
calls him ; I likes de peoplvery much,
and I comes by-by, ven I gets another lit
tle angle what's shust sg, good only vat
dosn't cost so much of the monish, do you
Weathep. Confab. The following con-
fab upon the weather was comraoncedy
a Dutchman racking an Irish acquaint
" Goot morrer, Patrick, how yoiQnz?"
" The top o' the morning to ye, Smitt,
d'ye think we'll get the rain to-day?"
" Kees no ; we never hash mooch rain in
vey dry times."
" Faith, an' ye're right there, Smitt. and
thin whiniver it gets in the way o' rainin',
the divil o' bit o' dhry wither we git as
long as the wet spell howlds."
The following is a true copy of aQ pre
scription put up at one of our city drug
stores, within the last few days, 6ays the
Oregonian. It was written by an ass who
stvles himself an M. D. :
' Juneper Beary
Prickley Ash Beark
Iodine of Potasick
Ole Holen Jit
The above is to be taken every nighf
and morning 1 table . ppoonful at. a dose,
and in case your Bules become costive uso
Yellow $k. A little alum added tp
saffron renkes a beautiful yellow ins;