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About Yamhill County reporter. (McMinnville, Or.) 1872-1883 | View Entire Issue (April 5, 1883)
WIT AND HUMOR- I \ A Ktl.lABl.lt M liuiisk Our ,„,1, I aware that the Time» very rarely i-diiur^? doreeeor reioututenda what are known ent medicines, as it does not tri.quehUvL.lfll that we can have positive knowledi»,, merit-; hut luiyniK mdividimll) ’ 'Ta® Cough Syrup." and hoard so much in h..\i3 we think the manufacturer is doing placing so valuable n medicine on tin and wear, doing good m ii.Hi.iim; |„ known. Il also utl.ir.le uh pleu.uiw t„T**fl mend Mr. Amineii to the craft everywhtoC^B hav*- done business with him near two and lind him a gentleman honorable inhJJB ingH. prompt and liberal. ; 11. umirata. tflfl juck-oiiville. Or.. April >th, 1 hh 2. come of $214,000. By law $1,000 of MEMORY. A Mobile merchant objects to being There is nothing in the world more this was exempt from income tax— the only relief I could see, and it was ionie Queer Freak* that Diaeaae Playa with called a millionaire because his name appalling than th« ragiug of "the plague.” To see human Ixxlies and happens to be Damrich. Man's Intelligence. . . PBomncTOBS. only a drop in the ocean. At the B nt DVB A W abbbs , infected clothes dragged out from The way the servants at a summer legal five per cent I must pay over I-.-- - . the dwelling by long hooks, carried appalling sum resort hotel would prefer to have the to the government the appalli THE OREGON M c M innville . notice read: "Waiters will rejxirt any by men entirely enveloped in tarred of ten thousand six hundred a and fifty dollars income tax. inattention on the part of the guest»." garments, and' then to see these Ixxlies jumbled tieedlessy together I am acquainted with a very opu The carnival at Montreal offered a THE WAY OF LIFE Fatigue iu any form, superinducing sulendid opportunity for bank officers into au open cart and Ixirne away to lent man whose house is a palace, The warrior frowned and pressed his temples whose table is regal, whose outlays as it does au abnormal cerebral con to get over into Canada without some common receptacle, to be added I’oBT OllKollP. Or., Feb. Sth „fl ¡¿ray; to the still more loathsome mass al Ammen's Cough Syrup has a remarkai^l “Enough,” he cried, “away with love— are enormous, yet a man who has no dition, is detrimental, and sometimes arousing suspicion. both here and at Ellensburg. j ready congregated there, must fill income, as I have often noticed, by away!” •I. II. UPTONHofl Mr. Robert Browning’s forthcoming one’s mind with,indescribable loathing. fatal, to memory. Explicit testimony ______ Pubnshertl Port OrfoiSp^l the revenue returns; and to him I A boy from play by fondest kiss beguiled, volume is to be called “ Jocoseria. But to see one dear to us falling a O regon (‘ ity . Or., April 2*t!.. 25th. “Mother. I’ll love thee ever!” spake the went for advice in my distress. He i on this point is supplied by the ex- Whether it is a patent medicine or a victim to the disease -to see him die. build ui> it huge Hille for Ammon took my dreadful exhibition of re , perience of Sir H. Holland, who de- --- Jlüí’ll’ ’ h CoughÈin> ; -‘i child. lung pad has not been made public. and taken away from us in the rudest hh il Hells well. < HAHMANÎÆ < ceipts, he put on his glasses, he took I scended, on the same day, two very A maiden gazed into the night sky wide— An exchange discusses "the penalty manner possible, and by strangers, J efferson , Or., Hept. 17th, 18M2.—It afioK, <. “Oh, I will love him when he comes! ’ she his pen, and presto! —I was a pauper! 1 deep mines in the Hartz mountains, pleasure to introduce Ammon's Cough frSf 1 we pay for having wealth.” It is and yet not be able to approach the It is a valuable remedy. It was the neatest thing that ever was. sighed. I remaining under ground some hours very discouraging, no doubt, but once-loved form—in fact, from a ________________ RKOPATII A MONTA gc J I He did it simply by deftly manipulat These three moved on] along the way of ing the bill of “deductions.” He set in each. He tells us that while in the give us the wealth, and we’ll willing sense of the utter uselessness of our A NOTE» Bl T UNTITLI I) \\( m | life: efforts and the instinct of self-preser A fair face lured the soldier from his strife, down my “State, national and muni | second mine, and exhausted both ly pay the penalty. [From the B ob I uii G'/ut.-.J Upon a tomb was carved the sweet child’s cipal taxes” at so much; my “losses from fatigue and inanition, he found Why is it that one railroad accident vation, flying the very presence of name, by shipwreck, tire, etc..” at so much; it utterly impossible to talk longer is so apt to be followed by others? such a one—must overwhelm the The lover to the maiden never came. —Marek Century. j my “losses on sales of real estate”— with with the German inspector who George—We suppose it is because heart with inexpressible anguish and on “live stock sold”—on "payments accompanied him; every German the roadmen become so interested in horror. Mr. G. L. Ditsou, while in for rent of homestead”—on “repairs, | word and phrase deserted his recol reading accounts of the first accident Odessa, was told the following thrill A MYSTERIOUS VISIT. improvements, interest”—on “previ- lection, and it was not until he had that they forget to turn the switches. ing story of the plague which some The first notice that was taken of j ously taxed salary as an officer of the | taken food and wine and had been Wanted—A substitute for the word years ago, almost depopulated several me when I “settled down,” recently, United States army, navy, revenue some time at rest that he regained was by a gentleman who said he was service,” and other times. He got them. The cases where that amnesia “holocaust,” to be employed in the of the cities of the Turkish Empire an assessor, and connected with the astonishing “deductions” out of each I has been observed to follow cerebral description of fatal tires. "Holo and eastern Russia. It illustrates caust" has become weary and frayed the awful peril of infection from such United States Internal revenue de every one of these matters—each shocks are also explained by most at the edges, and should be removed an epidemic, and the frequent futility partment. 1 said I had never heard and and every one of them. And when physiologists as resulting from de to a hospital for repairs. of all efforts to escape it: of his branch of business before, but he done he handed me the paper, fective nutrition. It has been noted A man had a wife and six lovely I was very glad to see him all the and was A man in Springfield, Mo., being children, saw at a glance that during the by Mr. Spencer that highly nervous his great fondness for whom same—would he sit down? He sat year I 1869 subjects, in whom the action of the invited to drink, poured out a glass made him so extremely cautious dui- Memtrs. Editor» my income, in the way of Thu above in a good likeness Mi’S. Lydia E.ft down. I asked him if he was open profits, had lieen one thousand two I heart is greatly lowered, habitually of whisky, looked at it a moment and ing the raging of this scourge that ham, of Lynn, Mas»., who above all other bn mag fa ing his Bhop in our neighborhood. then dropped dead. The Coroner ’ s complain of loss of memory, a symp nundred and fifty dollars and forty he shut himself and family in the may be truthfully called tbo “Dear Friend of W He said he was. tom which diminishes as fast as the jury brought in a verdict of “Suicide house and yard, and had no commu as some of her correspondonte love to call her. ti 8 We talked, and talked, and talked cents. is zealously devoted to her work, which is thf-outtrO by procrastination. ” natural rate of circulation is regained. •‘Now," said he, “the thousand dol of a life-study, and is obliged to keep ¿ m H C nication with any one. —at least I did. And we laughed, lars Again, in fevers, where the rapidity The reason that almanac-makers is exempt by law. When you assistants, to help her answer the large correspond^»® t- His gates were never unbarred, and laughed, and laughed—at least want to do it go and swear this docu I of the circulation is excessive, the re- [ publish nothing but the stalest jokes which daily pours in upon her, each bearing itsspe . he did. But all the time I had my ment in, and pay tax on the two hun | productive faculty is often raised to a | is explained. People get disgusted and nothing was received on his burden of suifering, or joy at releasofrom it^H w premises except food, which he at Compound is a medicine for good aadflffl tl presence of mind about me—I had dred and fifty dollars." high point of excitation, the most re- ! after reading one or two of them and tended to himself -making sure that Vegetable evil purposes. I have personally investigatedl^^— my native shrewdness turned on, j^H he was making this speech | mote and trivial impressions being j turn to the patent medicine adver it was not handled till it had been am satisfied of the truth of this. “full head,” as the engineers say. I his [While On account of its proven merits, it I« recommit'; . little boy Willie lifted a two dol easily recalled. Exaltation of the tisements for relief. thoroughly washed in vinegar and was determined to find out all about lar greenback and prescribed by the best physicians in the cubs '’ out of his vest pocket memory ensues also when the circu Some heartless wretch caught two water, which sufficiently purified it. One says: “It work.-; like a charm and savesmM hiB business, in spite of his obscure and vanished with and I would bet lation is increased by stimulants, cats, tied them by the tails and flung This he strictly adhered to till report pain. It will cure entirely the worst form of id tl answers and I was determined I anything that if ray it, stranger were to | such as opium. De Quincey tells us them into the cellar of a church. said that the plague had ceased—till of the uterus, Leucorrhcen, irregular and pu would have it out of him without his call on that little boy to-morrow Menstruation,all Ovarian Troubles, Intbiminatioi r i he j that under the influence of this drug The residents of the vicinity heard the commissary one day in going his Ulceration, Floodings, all I’i-ipl-M < inents andthe , . suspecting what I was at. I meant would make a false return of his in he sometimes seemed to live for the noise the animals made, but rounds assured him through the sequent spinal weakness, and is « - -pecially adapte & to trap him with a deep, deep ruse. I come. ] seventy or a hundred years in one thought it was the choir rehearsing. small hole cut in the gate, for the tho Change of Life.’* al said: It permeates every portion of the system, andp j-] “Do you," said I, “do you always night, the minutest incidents of child- A Brooklyn church has offered a purpose of conversation and passing new life and vigor. It removes faintness, flatoliH . “Now, you never would guess what work up the ‘deductions’ after this I hood, or forgotten scenes of later preacher destroys all craving for stimulants, and relieves« * ” I made lecturing this winter and last fashion a salary of f 10,000 and two the necessary viands, that he believed I years, being vividly reproduced. On in your own case, sir?” ness of the stomach. It cures Bloating, lleadu .;fl| months' vacation every year. He re the epidemic had disappeared. spring.” Nervous Prostration, General Debility, Slc-pleia » I should say so! If it wern’t the other hand, bromide potassium, gards “No—don’t believe I could to save for “Well, it as a "call to preach the The inmate, happy at the intelli and Indigestion. That feeling of ba: ,, eleven saving clauses under which, taken in large doses, retards Gospel.” Most any one else would gence, and that he and all his family Depression down, causing pain, weight and backache, is &!«>.■ me. Say seventeen hundred, may the those the circulation, produces amnesia; head of ‘ Deductions ’ I should be permanently cured by its use. It will ut all tim«,.y uaB be?’’ accept such an offer, but would call had escaped, said to the commissary. under all circumstances’, act in harmony withtbc'jf/> every year to support this the case is cited of a clergyman who it “Ha, ha! I knew you could Tt, beggared by its right name, "a soft snap.” “I will give you something to drink, that governs the female system. was obliged to discontinue the use of hateful and wicked, this extortionate My lecturing receipts for last spring and tyrannical government." It costs only $1. per bottle or six for $5., and iasok-,-- for the good news you bear." it, having very nearly lost his memo "What did you have to eat ? ” asked . Any adviee required as to 8p< < ial cosh . Bl and this winter were fourteen thou He accordingly brought a tumbler druggist ry, which returned when he ceased Tom Murphy of a Washington politi This gentleman stands away up th !tames of many who have been rP'-tored top- sand seven hundred and fifty dollars. and spirits, and gave some to tho man, health by the use of the Vegetable Compound,« among the very best of the solid men to take the medicine. cian who had just exclaimed, “It was What do you think of that?” I y addressing Mrs. 1’., with t.tamp for There are cases of temporary am the finest dinner 1 ever sat down to— then took the tumbler back, hade obtained at her home in Lynn, Mass. •' “Why, it is amazing—perfectly of the city, the men of morai weight, nesia him good-day, and went in. of a destructive character which of commercial integrity, of unim the finest any man ever sat down to. ” For Kidney of cither r-ex this coinpoa amazing. I will make a note of it. peachable social spotlessness, and so seem to be only explicable upon the The commissary moved only a lit unsurpassed as Complaint abundant testimonials show. tl "Why. nothing at all; we just drank And you say even this wasn't all?” Pinkham’s Liver Pills,” >:tys one writer qi to his example. I went down | theory that the group of cells in and drank and drank,” was the reply. tle further on his rounds when the the “ Mrs. “All? Why, bless you, there was I to bowed 1.1 st in the world for the cure of Con tig plague seized him and he expired. the revenue office, anti under the which particular impressions were Biliousness and Torpidity of the liver. Herl |®| my income from the newspapers for “ You say your wife gets mad and The gentleman within the house Purk'.c-works w< : sin itr. fu , ciRl line and tt* accusing eye of my old visitor I stood recorded have been destroyed or to raises a row ?” "I should say she did. four months—about—about—well, up took the disease—and in less than to equal the Cone v- d 'nit i> pula ity. tally transformed. In such instances and swore to lie after lie, fraud ! what should you say to about eight makes enough fuss to run a thirty-six hours neither he nor any All mist rerp< < ' n Angel of Xercy who»^ after fraud, villainy after villainy, till it is not the reproductive faculty She ' thousand dollars, for instanoe?” freight train forty miles an hour.” person of his whole famiy was alive. am’ It lor. is tv do which is enfeebled, but there is an my immortal soul was coated inches PLiladclpl in. ) ’ •>. Mrs. A.I.-tf-MS “Say? Why, ishould say I should “ But if you knew she was in the , ------------- ----------------------- actual loss of conversation; some- habit of getting mad, why did you ' ui like to see myself rolling in just such and inches thick with perjury, and | i thing “I have made one human being which once existed in the mem marry her?” “Because if I had held self-respect was gone forever and another ocean of affluence. Kight my «I happy to day,” said Fred Blanks to ever. ory, and formed an important part of ar thousand! I’ll make a note of it. back she would have got madder than Bob Belt, an Austin lawyer. its capital, has disappeared. Among But what of it? It is nothing more in Why, man—and on top of ail this I “Did you send a barrel of flour to a cases of incurable partial amne- ever.” am to understand that you had still than thousands of the highest and i the «I Mrs. Hannah Tyler, of Branford. poor widow?” asked Bob. sia where the loss was absolute, and richest and proudest and most re m more income?" Ct., who has been speechless for “No; my means do not allow me to fo “Ha, ha. ha! Why, you’re only in spected, honored and courted men in complete re-education was necessary, fifteen years, fell from her chair the be so extravagant, but I told an ap st, the suburbs of it, so to speak. There’s America do every year. And so I is that of a young married woman, other day, getting such a shock as to plicant for a position in the legisla th my book—‘The Innocents Abroad’— don’t care. I am not ashamed. I who was seized during confinement, bring back the flood of speech, and ture, that I knew he was going to get w< price 111 50 to $5, according to the shall simply, for the present, talk lit with prolonged syncope, at the end of now she talks as well as ever. Mr. it.” th binding. Listen to me. Look me in tie and wear fire-proof gloves, lest I [ which she failed to recollect any of Tyler now sees that too much furni “Well, that was one of those little fall into certain habits irrevocably. — the events which had occurred sirce the eye. During the last four months courtesies that casts a ray of sunshine ture is worse than none. ¡Mark Twain. her marriage, inclusive of that cere and a half, saying nothing of sales mony. She never recovered recol The Rev. Joseph Cook fell between into the troubled life of a fellow-trav before that, but just simply during lection of this period of her life, and I a train of cars and the station plat- eler in this vale of tears, and which A SOBER DIARY. the four months and a half ending does not cost anything.” March 15, 1870, we’ve sold ninety five 1 The following diary of a legislator although she accepted, on the testi- | form at Poultney, Vt., the other day, "The mischief it didn’t cost any thousand! Think of it. Average ' was sent to this office in mistake for a | mony of her friends, the fact that she I and was pulled out by a bystander thing! I borrowed two dollars from four dollars a copy, say. It’B nearly ten dollar bill, which the honest mem was married and had a son, she was | just in time to escape a serious injury. him on the strength of it"—[Texas four hundred thousand dollars, my ber owes to this establishment: “Mon I never able to realize how she gained It is supposed that Mr. Cook fell Siftings. I a husband and gave birth to a child. over some of the large words he is son. I get half!” day: Have just sobered up, and de "The suffering Moses! I’ll set that termined not to take another drink. | Another interesting instance is re in the habit of carrying around with Once in a while mention is made down. Fourteen-seven-tifty —eight — This thing has gone far enough, and ported by Prof. William Sharpey. him. in the papers that Vanderbilt sent The patient was a young married two hundred. Total, say—well, upon I plainly see that unless I check my Some philosopher and scientist, | $25,(X)0 to the sufferers in the Ohio my word, the grand total is about two self in this wild career of whoop and woman, who for about six weeks re who has been plunging his aggressive floods. And ten chances to one a mained in a continuous state of som hundred and thirteen or fourteen and repeat the dose, I am hopelessly- nose into the hidden mysteries of the large number of the poor unfortu thousand dollars. Is that possible?” gone and thoroughly in debt. A nolence. Upon her recovery from the past, makes the startling announce nates who are relieved by this sum. sum, “Possible! If there is any mistake strange strength comes to my aid. In 1 torpor the record of her previous ac ment that Adam was seven feet high. r~ *' donations ’ ‘_________ and J other from the wealthy it’s the other way. Two hundred and after years my grandchildren will quirements seems to have been com Well, what of it? Adam never ex men of the country, will be out in a fourteen thousand, cash, is my in read what I now write, and feel a pletely expunged from the cerebral perienced the pleasure and $25 a i socialist ' ” ‘ procession, inside - of two come for this year if I know how to swelling sense of pride. Tuesday: cells, and she had to be completely week of traveling with a fat woman, months and yelling against such men re-educated, it being requisite, for •iphar.” I some pink-eyed children and a hand- as Vanderbilt and Gould. All tne Maile a temperance speech. Stood Then the gentleman got up to go. up and looked like a man who never example, in teaching her to read, to | organ, the way the men of the present r ■ such j_____ _____ thanks men o get for ~ giving to begin with the alphabet. About this At the last moment the gentleman touched a drop of whisky. Receded I day do who have attained the height the needy under such circumstances, and some analogous cases, however, handed me a large envelope and said congratulations and went to a re«tau i i of seven feet. is that they did so merely for effect. there is an element of obscurity, for it contained his advertisement Old epigrammatical conversation rant to take oysters with friends. A LANDMARK JN FINANCE- As soon as he hail gone I opened Finally took a glass of wine. T , ^e process of re education common- j between a clergyman and traveler: i „ i i 1 ly requires but a few months, a result [ C.—I’ve lost my portmanteau. T.— In this year of general prosperity, there is his advertisement. I studied it at another. Another bottle ordered. ... , , -s-™- which seems to justify the inference I pity your grief. C.—My sermons double pleasure in recording the prosperous tentively for four minutes. 1 then Drank freely F' ._ speech. 1 that th,‘ old cerebral records were are in it. T.—I pity the' thief. A condition of such an old landmark of finance called up the cook and said: my temperance and conmierce as the Pacific Hank at the cor ’ „ i, , ck rather faint than extinct But the more “Hold me while I faint. Let Maria thrust his head through the modern and altogether more ner of Pine (and Sansonie streets. This ster doorway -Vi' " ' ■' “ ’ ■" ’ “ y explanation of such temporary peri-1 turn the batter-cakes.” Arkansaw way of holding a similar ling institution has weathered the storm of and leered at me. oblivion remains one of the I conversation years of ever-growing trade, not only By and by, when I camo to, I sent Ixittle at him. Police came in. and o,’s would be: C.—I’ve lost twenty in safety but with profit to itself and its unsolved problems of cerebral down to the rum mill on the corner we had an interesting session. Fined my demijohn. T.—I pity your grief. patrons. It is now regarded as one of the pathology. and hired an artist by the week to sit i ten dollars. Kept the affair out of C.—My whisky was in it. ' T.—Let’s staunchest and safest banks on the Pacific up nights and curse that stranger, the papers by giving the reporter a Coast, the management of which is acknowl look for the thief. THE LOST BEAN-STEW be in com]>etent hands. It has been and give me a lift occasionally in the cigar. Wednesday: D d report Every Yankee is supposed to be j “I don't believe you have the water ' edged unifonnily prosperous and succmsful and the day time, when I came to a hard er did not keep the affair out of the vicissitudes of commerce have found and fond of naked beans. During our of the right temperature. Y'ou must left it unscathed. place. Such a bank is of real paper, but he got my name wrong. get a thermometer, ” said an Austin ’ ' ■ ’ •eiig. i civil War, the New England regi value to the people Coast, for it repre Ah, what a miscreant he was! His Blamedest world I ever saw. E...L, . U1ents, when in camp, were loyal to ! mother to the new colored nurse. sents the stability! of of the natner affairs without which “advertisement” was nothing in the clear up new ground and roll logs. there can lie no real progress.- IS. F Chron world but a wicked tax return a Got drunk again and made another the aucient custom which provided I “W hat am dat ?” “It's an instrument icle. *■«•» «------------- string of impertinent questions about ! temperance speech in the house, baked beans for the Saturday-night 1 i by which you can tell if the water is too hot or too cold.” "I kin tell dat my private affairs occupying the best Head aches like the deuce. __ Wish ______ I ! supper and Sunday-morning' break-1 ar Be courageous and noble-minded; without any instrument. Ef de part of four foolscap pages of tine was in the spring house at home. fast On the march the boys had to chile turns blue den de water am too our own heart, and not other men’s be satisfied with stewed-beans, for print questions, I may remark, got Owe a man ten ' dollars ' "_____ 2. ho wants ____ _ and cold, and ef hit turns red den I knows | opinicns of us, forms our true honor. ten tip with such marvelous ingenuity it. Town people are unaccomixlat the bivouac did not admit of build dat de water am too hot.” ing an oven, or digging of a pit •* "H^lp yourself and other« will help that the oldest man in the world ing. Btien down to the newspaper One of the two hat>py men who vmi But don't fail to use th- Kidney-Wort couldn’t understand what the most of j office to make arrangements for a wherein to bake them. ri all liver, kidney, anil bowel complaint, H. H. WARNER & C six them were driving at questions, too, complimentary notice. Editors have At the battle of Fisher's Hill an skated with Mrs. Langtry in Chicago | lor pile« coHtivene««. etc. The demand of the amusing illustration of a Yankee s says she has a Cockney" accent, and pople for an easier method of preparing that were calculated to make a man an easy time. Nothing to do but sit ROCHESTER. N.Y. in i report about four times his actual in down at a desk and write. Not half devotion to his beans occurred. The he reports the following conversation Knlney-W ,,rt has induced the proprietor«, the Thia remedy han absolute «pod® nr well-known wholesale druggists. Wells. diweiMe«* of w omen, for the n<rI come to keep from swearing to a lie. as hard as driving hogs out of the color sergeant of the Fourteenth New to which she was a party: “Mrs. Kich.irdson A Co., of Burlington. Vt . to tne >■" troubleM of youth, and for the I looked for a loop-hole, but there did field or turning the grindstone. Hampshire was noted for his bravery Langtry, are you not disappointed prepare it for sale in liquid form as well as which precedes ohl age. A m at»*® K m I iow that all diweaMeM ari«e frw not apixMir to be any. Inquiry No. 1 Thursday: Drunk as a fool «nd get and his fondness for stewed beans in Chicago?” “l am; it's a perfectly in dry form. kidney* or liver, we ran ffuar. • orrid town." “You can denounce it covered my case, as generously and ting drunker. Friday: Resolved, flavored with vinegar. freedom from disease by reason® 1< Il A sblamd . Or.. April 27th, IK.Ammen'i Dower which our Mn/r Kidney During the afternoon, while pre all you please without offending me— [ougb as amply as an umbrella could cover never to drink again. Fifteen min Syrup rells well and give, good a„ti»fac O1 Id ver i)o*í«*eMMeM over the* an ant hill. INIXIW A WIMER BROS. ganx. lliahrtr* ank for J utes later: Drunk. Hotel clerk parations were going on for the ad I don't live here. I know you like t,on- vance which won the field, the color It * E l»IAKETEM< i R» Boston and New York?” “Ah. yes; H?h «..'oaEand1?’^“’ “' SheIIha1“’’ “What were your profits in 1869. throw ink on my shirt front. He’s a from any trade, business or vocation, fool. So am I. Sobering up slowly. sergeant was stewing his beans. He ' especially New York—it reminds me In valuto f had just taken the kettle off the tire ’ rec -veri so much of Lunnon." wherever carried on?” Evening: Drunk again. Saturday: stamina And that inquiry was backed up by This is my busy day Considerable and. spoon in hand, was about dining, “I say. fellows," exclaimed Fogg, g r a t e f o I The praises of others may be of their ap thirteen others of an equally search of a headache hanging around me. when he heard the orders,—• “nave you heard the news? Brown use in teaching us not what we are. of the I all in! I* all in! F orward. march !" and bis wife have separated." "No!” ing nature, the most modest of which Preparing for hard work. Drunk. tonic. '»I out what we ought to be. ae He would not desert the flag, he Is that so: “How did it come ter’» Sto required information as to whether I Soda water and lobelia. Sobering up. t-rs. N-’t4 had committed any burglary or high Evening: Drunk again. Sunday: could not abandon his savory meal. about?” "I always thought it would •Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com it impart® way robbery, or by any anon or other Too full to write." {Arkansaw Trav Tying the steaming, sooty pail to his come to that." "Guess it'll be better is a positive cure for all those weakne tn the wrt® ¿a common to our best female population. alno cor*« belt, be took his place in the center secret source of emolument in my eler. for both of 'em." These were a few regular r< -I of the line, bore aloft the colors and statement of income as set opposite .of the of the expressions that fell from the < onsutnptivee use Amm< n's Cough Syrup. i mak'f th*^H jin I advanced with his regiment to the to my inquiry No. 1. — — ----- • ••• ------------ lipa of the boys as they eagerlv A six year old boy at Belfast, Me., ' act at prof^B pr- H hen you have a cough or cold a«k fn- I™ I* was strange that the stranger had has very advanced ideas. He has a charge. . Cough Kyrup. ¡Twill around Fogg. "Yes,” said men He kept one eye on the enemy and crowded enabled me to make an ass of mvself. doll which he calls his wife. Recently I ogg, “the Browns have separated from r It was very, very plain, and I went he was telling his wife his future .he other on the dangling pail at his I saw Brown kiss Mrs. Brown good- B a -------- and koh» fl BIvK,’S WJ -^KKR KEST.AV- out and hired another artist. By plans, and remarked, ‘"Bv and by I side. The battle was won. but the by at the depot just now. He said K.ANT. Finest Breakfa.t and Lunch “ working on my varnty the stranger shall become u Mason, and then you boys declared that the way of the lie would be Imck to-morrow." The Rooms in San Francisco. linS‘r"t' Mechanics Institute bail seduced me into declaring an in won't see me until 12 o'clock at night. rourieenrii was literally strewn with crowd retired in disgust The boys Rmi 1 uilding. B«t. Montogomery and Kearny. beans. [South's Companion. I were, of course, terribly disappointed Bn lOrvnt bottle- Am men'« Cough Syrup. % 8.F.N.Ü., First Benea. Mo. 39. ’n Y amhill R eporter , I PLAGUE-STRICKEN. * 2 MRDfSi g <