Yamhill County reporter., April 05, 1883, Image 2

WIT AND HUMOR-
I
\
A Ktl.lABl.lt M liuiisk Our ,„,1, I
aware that the Time» very rarely i-diiur^?
doreeeor reioututenda what are known
ent medicines, as it does not tri.quehUvL.lfll
that we can have positive knowledi»,,
merit-; hut luiyniK mdividimll)
’ 'Ta®
Cough Syrup." and hoard so much in h..\i3
we think the manufacturer is doing
placing so valuable n medicine on tin
and wear, doing good m ii.Hi.iim; |„
known. Il also utl.ir.le uh pleu.uiw t„T**fl
mend Mr. Amineii to the craft everywhtoC^B
hav*- done business with him near two
and lind him a gentleman honorable inhJJB
ingH. prompt and liberal. ; 11. umirata. tflfl
juck-oiiville. Or.. April >th, 1 hh 2.
come of $214,000. By law $1,000 of
MEMORY.
A Mobile merchant objects to being There is nothing in the world more
this was exempt from income tax—
the only relief I could see, and it was ionie Queer Freak* that Diaeaae Playa with called a millionaire because his name appalling than th« ragiug of "the
plague.” To see human Ixxlies and
happens to be Damrich.
Man's Intelligence.
. . PBomncTOBS. only a drop in the ocean. At the
B nt DVB A W abbbs ,
infected clothes dragged out from
The
way
the
servants
at
a
summer
legal
five
per
cent
I
must
pay
over
I-.-- - .
the dwelling by long hooks, carried
appalling sum
resort
hotel
would
prefer
to
have
the
to the government the appalli
THE
OREGON
M c M innville .
notice read: "Waiters will rejxirt any by men entirely enveloped in tarred
of ten thousand six hundred a and fifty
dollars income tax.
inattention on the part of the guest»." garments, and' then to see these
Ixxlies jumbled tieedlessy together
I am acquainted with a very opu­
The carnival at Montreal offered a
THE WAY OF LIFE
Fatigue iu any form, superinducing sulendid opportunity for bank officers into au open cart and Ixirne away to
lent man whose house is a palace,
The warrior frowned and pressed his temples whose table is regal, whose outlays
as it does au abnormal cerebral con­ to get over into Canada without some common receptacle, to be added
I’oBT OllKollP. Or., Feb. Sth „fl
¡¿ray;
to the still more loathsome mass al
Ammen's Cough Syrup has a remarkai^l
“Enough,” he cried, “away with love— are enormous, yet a man who has no dition, is detrimental, and sometimes arousing suspicion.
both
here
and
at Ellensburg.
j ready congregated there, must fill
income, as I have often noticed, by
away!”
•I. II. UPTONHofl
Mr. Robert Browning’s forthcoming one’s mind with,indescribable loathing.
fatal, to memory. Explicit testimony
______ Pubnshertl Port OrfoiSp^l
the
revenue
returns;
and
to
him
I
A boy from play by fondest kiss beguiled,
volume
is
to
be
called
“
Jocoseria.
But to see one dear to us falling a O regon (‘ ity . Or., April 2*t!..
25th.
“Mother. I’ll love thee ever!” spake the went for advice in my distress. He i on this point is supplied by the ex- Whether it is a patent medicine or a
victim to the disease -to see him die. build ui> it huge Hille for Ammon
took my dreadful exhibition of re­ , perience of Sir H. Holland, who de-
--- Jlüí’ll’ ’ h CoughÈin> ; -‘i
child.
lung pad has not been made public. and taken away from us in the rudest hh il Hells well.
< HAHMANÎÆ
<
ceipts,
he
put
on
his
glasses,
he
took
I scended, on the same day, two very
A maiden gazed into the night sky wide—
An exchange discusses "the penalty manner possible, and by strangers, J efferson , Or., Hept. 17th, 18M2.—It afioK, <.
“Oh, I will love him when he comes! ’ she his pen, and presto! —I was a pauper! 1 deep mines in the Hartz mountains,
pleasure
to
introduce
Ammon's
Cough
frSf
1
we pay for having wealth.” It is and yet not be able to approach the It is a valuable remedy.
It was the neatest thing that ever was.
sighed.
I remaining under ground some hours very discouraging, no doubt, but once-loved form—in fact, from a ________________ RKOPATII A MONTA gc J I
He
did
it
simply
by
deftly
manipulat
­
These three moved on] along the way of
ing the bill of “deductions.” He set in each. He tells us that while in the give us the wealth, and we’ll willing­ sense of the utter uselessness of our
A NOTE» Bl T UNTITLI I) \\( m |
life:
efforts and the instinct of self-preser
A fair face lured the soldier from his strife, down my “State, national and muni­ | second mine, and exhausted both ly pay the penalty.
[From the B ob I uii G'/ut.-.J
Upon a tomb was carved the sweet child’s cipal taxes” at so much; my “losses from fatigue and inanition, he found
Why is it that one railroad accident vation, flying the very presence of
name,
by shipwreck, tire, etc..” at so much; it utterly impossible to talk longer is so apt to be followed by others? such a one—must overwhelm the
The lover to the maiden never came.
—Marek Century. j my “losses on sales of real estate”— with with the German inspector who George—We suppose it is because heart with inexpressible anguish and
on “live stock sold”—on "payments accompanied him; every German the roadmen become so interested in horror. Mr. G. L. Ditsou, while in
for rent of homestead”—on “repairs, | word and phrase deserted his recol­ reading accounts of the first accident Odessa, was told the following thrill
A MYSTERIOUS VISIT.
improvements,
interest”—on “previ- lection, and it was not until he had that they forget to turn the switches. ing story of the plague which some
The first notice that was taken of j ously taxed salary
as an officer of the | taken food and wine and had been
Wanted—A substitute for the word years ago, almost depopulated several
me when I “settled down,” recently, United States army,
navy, revenue some time at rest that he regained
was by a gentleman who said he was service,” and other times. He got them. The cases where that amnesia “holocaust,” to be employed in the of the cities of the Turkish Empire
an assessor, and connected with the astonishing “deductions” out of each I has been observed to follow cerebral description of fatal tires. "Holo­ and eastern Russia. It illustrates
caust" has become weary and frayed the awful peril of infection from such
United States Internal revenue de
every one of these matters—each shocks are also explained by most at the edges, and should be removed an epidemic, and the frequent futility
partment. 1 said I had never heard and
and every one of them. And when physiologists as resulting from de­ to a hospital for repairs.
of all efforts to escape it:
of his branch of business before, but he
done he handed me the paper, fective nutrition. It has been noted
A man had a wife and six lovely
I was very glad to see him all the and was
A man in Springfield, Mo., being children,
saw at a glance that during the by Mr. Spencer that highly nervous
his great fondness for whom
same—would he sit down? He sat year I 1869
subjects, in whom the action of the invited to drink, poured out a glass made him so extremely cautious dui- Memtrs. Editor»
my
income,
in
the
way
of
Thu above in a good likeness
Mi’S. Lydia E.ft
down. I asked him if he was open profits, had lieen one thousand two I heart is greatly lowered, habitually of whisky, looked at it a moment and
ing the raging of this scourge that ham, of Lynn, Mas»., who above all other bn mag fa
ing his Bhop in our neighborhood.
then
dropped
dead.
The
Coroner
’
s
complain
of
loss
of
memory,
a
symp
nundred and fifty dollars and forty
he shut himself and family in the may be truthfully called tbo “Dear Friend of W
He said he was.
tom which diminishes as fast as the jury brought in a verdict of “Suicide house and yard, and had no commu­ as some of her correspondonte love to call her. ti 8
We talked, and talked, and talked cents.
is zealously devoted to her work, which is thf-outtrO
by
procrastination.
”
natural
rate
of
circulation
is
regained.
•‘Now," said he, “the thousand dol­
of a life-study, and is obliged to keep ¿ m H C
nication with any one.
—at least I did. And we laughed, lars
Again, in fevers, where the rapidity
The reason that almanac-makers
is
exempt
by
law.
When
you
assistants, to help her answer the large correspond^»® t-
His
gates
were
never
unbarred,
and laughed, and laughed—at least want to do it go and swear this docu­ I of the circulation is excessive, the re- [ publish nothing but the stalest jokes
which daily pours in upon her, each bearing itsspe .
he did. But all the time I had my ment in, and pay tax on the two hun­ | productive faculty is often raised to a | is explained. People get disgusted and nothing was received on his burden of suifering, or joy at releasofrom it^H w
premises
except
food,
which
he
at
­
Compound is a medicine for good aadflffl tl
presence of mind about me—I had dred and fifty dollars."
high point of excitation, the most re- ! after reading one or two of them and tended to himself -making sure that Vegetable
evil purposes. I have personally investigatedl^^—
my native shrewdness turned on,
j^H
he was making this speech | mote and trivial impressions being j turn to the patent medicine adver­ it was not handled till it had been am satisfied of the truth of this.
“full head,” as the engineers say. I his [While
On account of its proven merits, it I« recommit'; .
little boy Willie lifted a two dol­ easily recalled. Exaltation of the tisements for relief.
thoroughly
washed
in
vinegar
and
was determined to find out all about lar greenback
and
prescribed
by
the
best
physicians
in
the
cubs '’
out of his vest pocket memory ensues also when the circu­ Some heartless wretch caught two water, which sufficiently purified it. One says: “It work.-; like a charm and savesmM
hiB business, in spite of his obscure and vanished with
and I would bet lation is increased by stimulants, cats, tied them by the tails and flung This he strictly adhered to till report pain. It will cure entirely the worst form of id tl
answers and I was determined I anything that if ray it, stranger
were to | such as opium. De Quincey tells us them into the cellar of a church. said that the plague had ceased—till of the uterus, Leucorrhcen, irregular and pu
would have it out of him without his call on that little boy to-morrow
Menstruation,all Ovarian Troubles, Intbiminatioi
r i
he j that under the influence of this drug The residents of the vicinity heard the commissary one day in going his Ulceration,
Floodings, all I’i-ipl-M < inents andthe
, .
suspecting what I was at. I meant would make a false return of his in
he sometimes seemed to live for the noise the animals made, but rounds assured him through the sequent spinal
­
weakness,
and
is
«
-
-pecially
adapte
&
to trap him with a deep, deep ruse. I come. ]
seventy or a hundred years in one thought it was the choir rehearsing. small hole cut in the gate, for the tho Change of Life.’*
al
said:
It permeates every portion of the system, andp
j-]
“Do you," said I, “do you always night, the minutest incidents of child-
A Brooklyn church has offered a purpose of conversation and passing new life and vigor. It removes faintness, flatoliH .
“Now, you never would guess what work
up the ‘deductions’ after this I hood, or forgotten scenes of later preacher
destroys all craving for stimulants, and relieves« * ”
I made lecturing this winter and last fashion
a
salary
of
f
10,000
and
two
the
necessary
viands,
that
he
believed
I years, being vividly reproduced. On
in your own case, sir?”
ness of the stomach. It cures Bloating, lleadu .;fl|
months' vacation every year. He re­ the epidemic had disappeared.
spring.”
Nervous Prostration, General Debility, Slc-pleia
»
I should say so! If it wern’t the other hand, bromide potassium, gards
“No—don’t believe I could to save for “Well,
it
as
a
"call
to
preach
the
The
inmate,
happy
at
the
intelli
­
and Indigestion. That feeling of ba:
,,
eleven saving clauses under which, taken in large doses, retards Gospel.” Most any one else would gence, and that he and all his family Depression
down, causing pain, weight and backache, is &!«>.■
me. Say seventeen hundred, may­ the those
the circulation, produces amnesia;
head
of
‘
Deductions
’
I
should
be
permanently
cured
by
its
use.
It
will
ut
all
tim«,.y
uaB
be?’’
accept such an offer, but would call had escaped, said to the commissary. under all circumstances’, act in harmony withtbc'jf/>
every year to support this the case is cited of a clergyman who it
“Ha, ha! I knew you could Tt, beggared
by its right name, "a soft snap.”
“I will give you something to drink, that governs the female system.
was
obliged
to
discontinue
the
use
of
hateful
and
wicked,
this
extortionate
My lecturing receipts for last spring and tyrannical government."
It costs only $1. per bottle or six for $5., and iasok-,--
for the good news you bear."
it,
having
very
nearly
lost
his
memo
­
"What
did
you
have
to
eat
?
”
asked
. Any adviee required as to 8p< < ial cosh .
Bl
and this winter were fourteen thou­
He accordingly brought a tumbler druggist
ry,
which
returned
when
he
ceased
Tom
Murphy
of
a
Washington
politi
­
This
gentleman
stands
away
up
th !tames of many who have been rP'-tored top-
sand seven hundred and fifty dollars.
and
spirits,
and
gave
some
to
tho
man,
health by the use of the Vegetable Compound,«
among the very best of the solid men to take the medicine.
cian who had just exclaimed, “It was
What do you think of that?”
I y addressing Mrs. 1’., with t.tamp for
There are cases of temporary am­ the finest dinner 1 ever sat down to— then took the tumbler back, hade obtained
at her home in Lynn, Mass.
•'
“Why, it is amazing—perfectly of the city, the men of morai weight, nesia
him
good-day,
and
went
in.
of
a
destructive
character
which
of
commercial
integrity,
of
unim
­
the
finest
any
man
ever
sat
down
to.
”
For
Kidney
of cither r-ex this coinpoa
amazing. I will make a note of it. peachable social spotlessness, and so seem to be only explicable upon the
The commissary moved only a lit­ unsurpassed as Complaint
abundant testimonials show.
tl
"Why.
nothing
at
all;
we
just
drank
And you say even this wasn't all?”
Pinkham’s Liver Pills,” >:tys one writer
qi
to his example. I went down | theory that the group of cells in and drank and drank,” was the reply. tle further on his rounds when the the “ Mrs.
“All? Why, bless you, there was I to bowed
1.1
st
in
the
world
for
the
cure
of
Con
tig
plague seized him and he expired.
the revenue office, anti under the which particular impressions were
Biliousness and Torpidity of the liver. Herl
|®|
my income from the newspapers for
“
You
say
your
wife
gets
mad
and
The gentleman within the house Purk'.c-works w< : sin itr. fu , ciRl line and tt*
accusing eye of my old visitor I stood recorded have been destroyed or to­ raises a row ?” "I should say she did.
four months—about—about—well, up
took the disease—and in less than to equal the Cone v- d 'nit i> pula ity.
tally
transformed.
In
such
instances
and
swore
to
lie
after
lie,
fraud
!
what should you say to about eight
makes enough fuss to run a thirty-six hours neither he nor any All mist rerp< < '
n Angel of Xercy who»^
after fraud, villainy after villainy, till it is not the reproductive faculty She
'
thousand dollars, for instanoe?”
freight train forty miles an hour.” person of his whole famiy was alive. am’ It lor. is tv do
which
is
enfeebled,
but
there
is
an
my
immortal
soul
was
coated
inches
PLiladclpl
in.
)
’
•>.
Mrs. A.I.-tf-MS
“Say? Why, ishould say I should
“
But
if
you
knew
she
was
in
the
,
-------------
-----------------------
actual loss of conversation; some- habit of getting mad, why did you '
ui
like to see myself rolling in just such and inches thick with perjury, and | i thing
“I have made one human being
which once existed in the mem­ marry her?” “Because if I had held
self-respect was gone forever and
another ocean of affluence. Kight my
«I
happy to day,” said Fred Blanks to
ever.
ory,
and
formed
an
important
part
of
ar
thousand! I’ll make a note of it.
back she would have got madder than Bob Belt, an Austin lawyer.
its
capital,
has
disappeared.
Among
But
what
of
it?
It
is
nothing
more
in
Why, man—and on top of ail this I
“Did you send a barrel of flour to a
cases of incurable partial amne- ever.”
am to understand that you had still than thousands of the highest and i the
«I
Mrs. Hannah Tyler, of Branford. poor widow?” asked Bob.
sia
where
the
loss
was
absolute,
and
richest
and
proudest
and
most
re
­
m
more income?"
Ct., who has been speechless for “No; my means do not allow me to
fo
“Ha, ha. ha! Why, you’re only in spected, honored and courted men in complete re-education was necessary, fifteen years, fell from her chair the be so extravagant, but I told an ap­
st,
the suburbs of it, so to speak. There’s America do every year. And so I is that of a young married woman, other day, getting such a shock as to plicant for a position in the legisla­
th
my book—‘The Innocents Abroad’— don’t care. I am not ashamed. I who was seized during confinement, bring back the flood of speech, and ture, that I knew he was going to get
w<
price 111 50 to $5, according to the shall simply, for the present, talk lit with prolonged syncope, at the end of now she talks as well as ever. Mr. it.”
th
binding. Listen to me. Look me in tie and wear fire-proof gloves, lest I [ which she failed to recollect any of Tyler now sees that too much furni­ “Well, that was one of those little
fall
into
certain
habits
irrevocably.
—
the
events
which
had
occurred
sirce
the eye. During the last four months
courtesies that casts a ray of sunshine
ture is worse than none.
¡Mark
Twain.
her
marriage,
inclusive
of
that
cere
­
and a half, saying nothing of sales
mony. She never recovered recol­ The Rev. Joseph Cook fell between into the troubled life of a fellow-trav­
before that, but just simply during
lection of this period of her life, and I a train of cars and the station plat- eler in this vale of tears, and which
A SOBER DIARY.
the four months and a half ending
does not cost anything.”
March 15, 1870, we’ve sold ninety five 1 The following diary of a legislator although she accepted, on the testi- | form at Poultney, Vt., the other day,
"The mischief it didn’t cost any­
thousand! Think of it. Average ' was sent to this office in mistake for a | mony of her friends, the fact that she I and was pulled out by a bystander thing! I borrowed two dollars from
four dollars a copy, say. It’B nearly ten dollar bill, which the honest mem­ was married and had a son, she was | just in time to escape a serious injury. him on the strength of it"—[Texas
four hundred thousand dollars, my ber owes to this establishment: “Mon I never able to realize how she gained It is supposed that Mr. Cook fell Siftings.
I a husband and gave birth to a child. over some of the large words he is
son. I get half!”
day: Have just sobered up, and de­
"The suffering Moses! I’ll set that termined not to take another drink. | Another interesting instance is re­ in the habit of carrying around with
Once in a while mention is made
down. Fourteen-seven-tifty —eight — This thing has gone far enough, and ported by Prof. William Sharpey. him.
in the papers that Vanderbilt sent
The
patient
was
a
young
married
two hundred. Total, say—well, upon I plainly see that unless I check my­
Some philosopher and scientist, | $25,(X)0 to the sufferers in the Ohio
my word, the grand total is about two self in this wild career of whoop and woman, who for about six weeks re­ who has been plunging his aggressive floods. And ten chances to one a
mained
in
a
continuous
state
of
som
­
hundred and thirteen or fourteen and repeat the dose, I am hopelessly-
nose into the hidden mysteries of the large number of the poor unfortu­
thousand dollars. Is that possible?” gone and thoroughly in debt. A nolence. Upon her recovery from the past, makes the startling announce­ nates who are relieved by this sum.
sum,
“Possible! If there is any mistake strange strength comes to my aid. In 1 torpor the record of her previous ac­ ment that Adam was seven feet high. r~
*' donations
’
‘_________
and J other
from
the wealthy
it’s the other way. Two hundred and after years my grandchildren will quirements seems to have been com­ Well, what of it? Adam never ex­ men of the country, will be out in a
fourteen thousand, cash, is my in­ read what I now write, and feel a pletely expunged from the cerebral perienced the pleasure and $25 a i socialist
' ” ‘ procession, inside
- of two
come for this year if I know how to swelling sense of pride. Tuesday: cells, and she had to be completely week of traveling with a fat woman, months and yelling against such men
re-educated,
it
being
requisite,
for
•iphar.”
I some pink-eyed children and a hand- as Vanderbilt and Gould. All tne
Maile a temperance speech. Stood
Then the gentleman got up to go. up and looked like a man who never example, in teaching her to read, to | organ, the way the men of the present r
■ such
j_____
_____
thanks
men o get
for ~ giving to
begin
with
the
alphabet.
About
this
At the last moment the gentleman touched a drop of whisky. Receded
I day do who have attained the height the needy under such circumstances,
and
some
analogous
cases,
however,
handed me a large envelope and said congratulations and went to a re«tau i
i of seven feet.
is that they did so merely for effect.
there is an element of obscurity, for
it contained his advertisement
Old epigrammatical conversation
rant to take oysters with friends.
A LANDMARK JN FINANCE-
As soon as he hail gone I opened Finally took a glass of wine. T , ^e process of re education common- j between a clergyman and traveler:
i „ i i 1 ly requires but a few months, a result [ C.—I’ve lost my portmanteau. T.— In this year of general prosperity, there is
his advertisement. I studied it at­ another. Another bottle ordered.
... ,
,
-s-™- which seems to justify the inference I pity your grief. C.—My sermons double pleasure in recording the prosperous
tentively for four minutes. 1 then Drank freely F'
._ speech. 1
that th,‘ old cerebral records were are in it. T.—I pity the' thief. A condition of such an old landmark of finance
called up the cook and said:
my temperance
and conmierce as the Pacific Hank at the cor­
’ „ i, , ck rather faint than extinct But the more
“Hold me while I faint. Let Maria thrust his head through the
modern and altogether more ner of Pine (and Sansonie streets. This ster­
doorway
-Vi'
"
'
■'
“
’
■"
’
“
y
explanation
of
such
temporary
peri-1
turn the batter-cakes.”
Arkansaw way of holding a similar ling institution has weathered the storm of
and leered at me.
oblivion remains one of the I conversation
years of ever-growing trade, not only
By and by, when I camo to, I sent Ixittle at him. Police came in. and o,’s
would be: C.—I’ve lost twenty
in safety but with profit to itself and its
unsolved
problems
of
cerebral
down to the rum mill on the corner we had an interesting session. Fined
my demijohn. T.—I pity your grief. patrons. It is now regarded as one of the
pathology.
and hired an artist by the week to sit i ten dollars. Kept the affair out of
C.—My whisky was in it. ' T.—Let’s staunchest and safest banks on the Pacific
up nights and curse that stranger, the papers by giving the reporter a
Coast, the management of which is acknowl­
look for the thief.
THE LOST BEAN-STEW
be in com]>etent hands. It has been
and give me a lift occasionally in the cigar. Wednesday: D
d report­ Every Yankee is supposed to be j “I don't believe you have the water ' edged
unifonnily prosperous and succmsful and the
day time, when I came to a hard er did not keep the affair out of the
vicissitudes
of commerce have found and
fond of naked beans. During our of the right temperature. Y'ou must left it unscathed.
place.
Such a bank is of real
paper, but he got my name wrong.
get
a
thermometer,
”
said
an
Austin
’
'
■
’
•eiig.
i
civil
War,
the
New
England
regi
value
to
the
people
Coast, for it repre­
Ah, what a miscreant he was! His Blamedest world I ever saw. E...L,
. U1ents, when in camp, were loyal to ! mother to the new colored nurse. sents the stability! of of the
natner
affairs without which
“advertisement” was nothing in the clear up new ground and roll logs.
there can lie no real progress.- IS. F Chron­
world but a wicked tax return a Got drunk again and made another the aucient custom which provided I “W hat am dat ?” “It's an instrument icle.
*■«•» «-------------
string of impertinent questions about ! temperance speech in the house, baked beans for the Saturday-night 1 i by which you can tell if the water is
too hot or too cold.” "I kin tell dat
my private affairs occupying the best Head aches like the deuce.
__ Wish
______ I ! supper and Sunday-morning' break-1 ar
Be
courageous
and noble-minded;
without
any
instrument.
Ef
de
part of four foolscap pages of tine was in the spring house at home. fast On the march the boys had to
chile turns blue den de water am too our own heart, and not other men’s
be
satisfied
with
stewed-beans,
for
print questions, I may remark, got Owe a man ten
' dollars
' "_____
2. ho wants
____ _
and
cold, and ef hit turns red den I knows | opinicns of us, forms our true honor.
ten tip with such marvelous ingenuity it. Town people are unaccomixlat the bivouac did not admit of build­ dat
de water am too hot.”
ing
an
oven,
or
digging
of
a
pit
•* "H^lp yourself and other« will help
that the oldest man in the world ing. Btien down to the newspaper
One of the two hat>py men who vmi But don't fail to use th- Kidney-Wort
couldn’t understand what the most of j office to make arrangements for a wherein to bake them.
ri
all liver, kidney, anil bowel complaint,
H. H. WARNER & C six
them were driving at questions, too, complimentary notice. Editors have At the battle of Fisher's Hill an skated with Mrs. Langtry in Chicago | lor
pile« coHtivene««. etc. The demand of the
amusing
illustration
of
a
Yankee
s
says she has a Cockney" accent, and pople for an easier method of preparing
that were calculated to make a man an easy time. Nothing to do but sit
ROCHESTER. N.Y.
in i
report about four times his actual in down at a desk and write. Not half devotion to his beans occurred. The he reports the following conversation Knlney-W ,,rt has induced the proprietor«, the Thia remedy han absolute «pod® nr
well-known
wholesale
druggists.
Wells.
diweiMe«* of w omen, for the n<rI
come to keep from swearing to a lie. as hard as driving hogs out of the color sergeant of the Fourteenth New to which she was a party: “Mrs. Kich.irdson A Co., of Burlington. Vt . to tne
>■"
troubleM of youth, and for the
I looked for a loop-hole, but there did field or turning the grindstone. Hampshire was noted for his bravery Langtry, are you not disappointed prepare it for sale in liquid form as well as which precedes ohl age. A m at»*®
K
m I iow that all diweaMeM ari«e frw
not apixMir to be any. Inquiry No. 1 Thursday: Drunk as a fool «nd get­ and his fondness for stewed beans in Chicago?” “l am; it's a perfectly in dry form.
kidney* or liver, we ran ffuar. •
orrid town." “You can denounce it
covered my case, as generously and ting drunker. Friday: Resolved, flavored with vinegar.
freedom from disease by reason® 1< Il
A sblamd . Or.. April 27th, IK.Ammen'i Dower which our Mn/r Kidney
During the afternoon, while pre­ all you please without offending me— [ougb
as amply as an umbrella could cover never to drink again. Fifteen min
Syrup rells well and give, good a„ti»fac
O1
Id ver
i)o*í«*eMMeM over the*
an ant hill.
INIXIW A WIMER BROS.
ganx.
lliahrtr* ank for J
utes later: Drunk. Hotel clerk parations were going on for the ad­ I don't live here. I know you like t,on-
vance
which
won
the
field,
the
color
­
It
*
E
l»IAKETEM<
i
R»
Boston and New York?” “Ah. yes; H?h «..'oaEand1?’^“’ “' SheIIha1“’’
“What were your profits in 1869. throw ink on my shirt front. He’s a
from any trade, business or vocation, fool. So am I. Sobering up slowly. sergeant was stewing his beans. He ' especially New York—it reminds me
In valuto f
had
just
taken
the
kettle
off
the
tire
’
rec -veri
so much of Lunnon."
wherever carried on?”
Evening: Drunk again. Saturday:
stamina
And that inquiry was backed up by This is my busy day Considerable and. spoon in hand, was about dining,
“I say. fellows," exclaimed Fogg,
g r a t e f o I
The praises of others may be of
their ap
thirteen others of an equally search of a headache hanging around me. when he heard the orders,—•
“nave you heard the news? Brown use in teaching us not what we are.
of the
I all in! I* all in! F orward. march !" and bis wife have separated." "No!”
ing nature, the most modest of which Preparing for hard work. Drunk.
tonic. '»I
out
what
we
ought
to
be.
ae
He would not desert the flag, he Is that so: “How did it come
ter’» Sto
required information as to whether I Soda water and lobelia. Sobering up.
t-rs. N-’t4
had committed any burglary or high Evening: Drunk again. Sunday: could not abandon his savory meal. about?” "I always thought it would •Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
it impart®
way robbery, or by any anon or other Too full to write." {Arkansaw Trav­ Tying the steaming, sooty pail to his come to that." "Guess it'll be better is a positive cure for all those weakne
tn the wrt®
¿a
common
to
our
best
female
population.
alno
cor*«
belt,
be
took
his
place
in
the
center
secret source of emolument in my eler.
for both of 'em." These were a few
regular
r<
-I
of
the
line,
bore
aloft
the
colors
and
statement of income as set opposite
.of the
of the expressions that fell from the < onsutnptivee use Amm< n's Cough Syrup.
i mak'f th*^H jin I
advanced
with
his
regiment
to
the
to my inquiry No. 1.
—
—
-----
•
•••
------------
lipa
of
the
boys
as
they
eagerlv
A six year old boy at Belfast, Me.,
' act at prof^B pr-
H hen you have a cough or cold a«k fn- I™
I* was strange that the stranger had has very advanced ideas. He has a charge.
. Cough Kyrup. ¡Twill
around Fogg. "Yes,” said men
He kept one eye on the enemy and crowded
enabled me to make an ass of mvself. doll which he calls his wife. Recently
I ogg, “the Browns have separated
from r
It was very, very plain, and I went he was telling his wife his future .he other on the dangling pail at his I saw Brown kiss Mrs. Brown good- B a
--------
and koh» fl
BIvK,’S WJ -^KKR KEST.AV-
out and hired another artist. By plans, and remarked, ‘"Bv and by I side. The battle was won. but the by at the depot just now. He said K.ANT. Finest Breakfa.t and Lunch
“
working on my varnty the stranger shall become u Mason, and then you boys declared that the way of the lie would be Imck to-morrow." The Rooms in San Francisco.
linS‘r"t' Mechanics Institute
bail seduced me into declaring an in won't see me until 12 o'clock at night. rourieenrii was literally strewn with crowd retired in disgust The boys Rmi
1 uilding. B«t. Montogomery and Kearny.
beans. [South's Companion.
I were, of course, terribly disappointed
Bn lOrvnt bottle- Am men'« Cough Syrup.
%
8.F.N.Ü., First Benea. Mo. 39.
’n
Y amhill R eporter ,
I
PLAGUE-STRICKEN.
*
2
MRDfSi g
<