The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899, March 17, 1900, Image 3

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    OF THE AGE.
i - . ., t . ,,.!. ,.,.r
. .k. ,ae is mmm
(" hZubti 'I"" r """" t0
Jtif strength, or thoubt mon
,o wait for tb. thing worth
k.rinf . .V. .lav's Him
" hinb uo"B i u"
In tolling and saving.
M"?Z,h.rs did I" the old time.
.,-r mm---
Kfoarr.."".
,1,, i ii"
n't
i
W
. r'. .
t bud
tbe gun.
in-
:
, not
realtb
before their eaon.
for " t wear:
r mid ssk the reason
, ure o few aud rare.
but despise the get
-not aa reward, but
,r; .... . united In useless
iireniriu
fretime
,. ,..n rnrosi w
w - . i
York JouruiM.
build n tower.
Brown Merino. g
n yor !:""k 11 wl" look flt ,0
n fter n l turned'" I tusked,
'holding UP 10 ,be "8ht m old
I merino.
Wle ... '. ' ..la vvnlt..,t hav
.1. aril le 1
III
BUI
nit.
rm-l d"" ' 0W, 1
1 ., .i black itltmcn. The
" . I. f..r ..... Ill
nil lie goon euvuu - -
1.rHdono.ucn..K. -
,M Indignantly- ..- -
.... i ... ..
of going Una' itnu
Iu the bargain. leaving yu to
. ..... U el, Olios' 1
.biuinn imi iiij -
. ., . . ..
Kf nu ie Mini bciu-m,
t ' - . . . l...ll...,l.. Who
lailghcti ukwuiuu..,
bad IUC0 a pinwH nyynm
tonnded warm aim uuuj,
likelier own ewnet temer.
So, that s v iki i i ou
Klld Conrgle. WHO uer up,
Hpj trying to pout, but quivering
... .-it., instead. DDI nerw comes
bhii. She shall seine mat poim.
r. dear mamma tl'.rneu ner ueu.
,0 one impetuous daughter, tbeu
be other, sighing gently all the
f. But lo my great S11'0 tu-' aw
In nir fll 11)1.
i ai.h roil MUld have nnotner uew
d.ar Kose. a!il uiauiuia. in uer
"i. in i nun i ev uu SI
mnai:e It."
iDtbli dispute may seem very uitii
j nocuneerneil. but to us, tue iu
i-lnsriii. It was of great impon-
I was eoliig on a Journey- going
km TO oome Ud travel aloue for
llNt time III my life. We ma I is,
. ;.. ,,.! I HvimI mi lfi-aml
mvitvit i-iii". o--
Wsfarm, in New Hampshire.
uina had a frleud nameit Mis.
- .. ka1 1 1 V 1 1 1 IT III ltllS
r nil. ii" ii,. ... v . . . n
fir man v years, anil sue nau wru
mamma begging that one of us
:n her a lon visit, (.real was
debating as to whleh should accept
Mutton.
fitoffle Insisted that It was my pre-
ttia. an 1 was Mrs. N nurtou s
L.. I atkal i ..ill- IWiW Itllll
bad Mmetbing to do iu making
mil kind as (ieorgle was, she hail
sr tieen quite so active until young
Pjrtrldge beamed upon us, with
hrltht black eves. However, It
UU l UU IU 1111 III I Sl-IICIB i. '....'mi
permlssion.
Uioinia had given me a new gray
K C I ....I ..llfl.wrd 1 ll.t.l
I white one for evenings, In cuse I
lid go to auy parties. These, w 1 1 b.
to morning wrappers, were COB-
Georgle had generously Insisted on
r li.L-'.ii. I . I .... L' lllt.,1.,,1 i..r
H'i , r... nun i.tuvik niv iirnwii
iue soul or generosity, nun wuum
After much twisting and turning and
coisloM as to trimmings my ward-
. mr nil- v i uiiu ui iuiik in 1. 1 in.
rmy passionate love of traveling bad
hfrto been very little gratified.
Ail stood In the railroad stntlon at
. IAIIINIai 1 l,...l. .... I... InlAM . .-
. J ...... awn.a.K WHHV
ootlt me a lull ir. .lit . .iiinn bi Hi n
tlllftfltllA I.W.WW ....... I... BM.aM.lV
and bowing with easy and polished
w, sain m an inaUlnuS tone:
"Miss Bote t presume V" '
1 bowed In response, Inwardly wou-
ii miii i . siK'ieiy reiiuireu genue-
to address ladies at tlrst acquaint-
.... i, . iii iniiun nullum.
My aunt. Mrs. Wharton, hns been
riATru....1 1 .. ii j m a
-r-j ti .-. n u j 1 1 1 ' 1 1 1 uviy
--.m imuia. uiim uitn Klvt 11 1111
and pleasure of escortluir you to
swuii.l reply was another bow.
f- n ,i - l 'l i e If Willi IL11B
f was. iue gentleman looked at
--...-..,. r.i iiivuuy ne WHS lieKiu-
Hlo think me dumb, so I found voice
"Uowls Mrs Wharton T'
ery will, indeed, 1 thank you, aud
"us eagerly for vour arrival."
After vm were seated in the carriage.
J"tl was fur hiimlsntiior limn me
i .... . .
npi neuce naa tnougnt possi-
me gentleman nroceeded in his ef-
11 lor inv entprtnlnniiit
"Do
Our he nultwt
WT much." I renlled not. how-
-uuoi.i qualms of conscience, as
M really Dot given It a thought.
wogn.ied vou liv vonr dress." he
uinphauriy resided.
"eil ,,,lvu at . hrtffhf merino.
-uje, -. g, uome of .,,
1Dd felt an Inward terror. Was
wo a niedluni. a clairvoyant? Had
4lPlrlt heard my conversation with
-V,
Jfy drelsr I gaiped.
es. ronr Hi..,.. i a i ,wl
J auui luiuimii
'Oat Tunr 1 r.. I 1 ., ,r mA I'M
rowa
"Oh."' t f.,., .,... . j,.
-.w, . . .
Mow very si run oe In tnninma
to tr. U-K.-. ...nln
and feel I n ir ronalderablv
about 'i .l...i in..
-woin. lad Hntr fibril mr rliuludl
s Ut T fha ..n.,l..aa.
- CUilUM r . .
tb carriage otopped before
dre
lare and handsome dwelling, and
although I know that Mrs. Wharton
waa In p., , ., uf a rery comfortable
Income, I waa not prepared for tb ele
gance I encountered.
My poor brown merino lowked aadly
out of place beside the rich crlmaon fur
niture and splendid mlrrora. and had
not Mra. Wharton' uepbews made
strenuous efforte for my entertainment.
I ahould have subsided Into that unm
forlorn aud dreary feellng-bomealck-nes.
"My aunt begged that weobould dine
at the usual hour," said the gentleman,
after 1 had dlvetted mvaelf of un
wrap, "as the was afraid he would
not be able to returu before 8 or 0
o'clock; tbe frleud she has gone to Mf
Is very lit In fact, dvlns-and Aunt
I.lzzle will probably stay until all Is
over."
Aunt Lizzie?" I thought; "ha she
discarded tbe name of Koate?"
I remembered, however, that ber lul
tlals were It. K. W.
The illuuer was charming; my appe
tite was good. I never had dytpapi I
In my life, and I ate the luxurlou food,
so daintily prepared, with au enjoy
ment that must have been quite amus
lug to my companion.
About an hour after we had sat down,
while we were leisurely partaking of
our dessert and discussing the rights
of women, the butler handed a note to
my vlo-a vls. After asklug me lo ex
cuse hlui he opened and read.
The look of surprise and consterna
tion In his face was simply appalling.
"Has anything happened to your
aunt';" I timidly Inquired, feeling uu
comfortnble under the scrltlulzlng gaze
of hi dark-gray eyes.
"No, no that Is, nothing of Import
ancebut I do not think she will Ik-
back to night. Hut, Miss Uose your
name Is Miss Hose, is it not?"
1 put down the orunge I was peellnj
and looked the amnzemeut I felt.
"My name Is Miss Hose Terry," 1 re
piled, with as much dignity as I could
assume.
"Yes certainly I beg your pardon
but. Miss Hose Miss Terry, 1 menu
you will make yourself comfortable
for the night until my uunt return,
ahould say."
His confusion seemed very strange
after his late self-possession, but ut
trlbntlM It all to the contents of the
note alas. 1 did not then dream of tin
information It conveyed:! endeavored
to make the best of It, and told him not
to be uneasy, as I had no. doubt but
that Mrs. Wharton would return early
In the morning.
Hooks aud music formed the principal
sublects of conversation during the
few hours I passed with Mrs. Whar
ton's nephew, aud so pleasant aud
agreeable did he prove that I began to
like him very much, aud quite forgot
in v embarrassment at remaining so
long alone with a stranger.
At breakfast next morning we chat
ted away like old friends, but when the
meal waa over my companion usked me
to walk Into the library for a few mo
men ha.
1 compiled with hl9 request, made
rather gravely, feeling a seusution pass
through me that something was golug
to happen.
"I'lease be seated, Miss Terry." be
began. "I regret that I am obliged to
explain a very strange mistake- and 1
beg your pardon for keeping you In Ig
norance through last evening, but, be
lieve me, I did so only because I wished
you to bare a pleasant and comfortable
rest after your long Jouruey.
I could say nothing to this prepara
tory speech, for my heart was throb
bing at such a furious rate I dared not
trust my voice.
"My aunt," he continued, "expected
a lady friend, named Miss Annie Hose,
to arrive yesterday, aud being called
from home unexpectedly, she commis
sioned tne to be her escort from tbe
railroad station to the house. Boeapoke
of Miss Hose's traveling dress being
brown, ntid hence my mistake in ac
costing you. The note I received last
evening apprised me of my error, for
In it Aunt l.izzie Informed me that Miss
Hose, learulug of the Illness of Mrs.
Talmage, had arrived by an earlier
tralu aud gone directly to the house of
Mrs. Talmage, so that she might ace
her friend once more while alive. If
you will accept my apologies for caus
ing you this Inconvenience and delay in
your plans I will be truly grateful for
your forbearance and will do all in my
power to rectify my mistake as speedily
as possible."
What could I say? He was so sin
cerely sorry 1 could not find fault with
blm. With hot cheeks I explained my
part in the misunderstanding.
"My friend Is Mrs. Hose Wharton.
She Uvea ou Charles street. If you
will "
"I will deliver you safely Into her
hands. Miss Terry," he interrupted,
"and will Immediately order the car
riage. Hut lirst 1 must thank you for
your goodness In ao readily granting
pardon for my Inadvertence."
When we arrived at Mr. Hose Whar
ton's door he turned to me, and, taking
my baud, said:
"Miss Terry, you have shown me
great mercy. Will you add to your
favors one more kindness, and grant
me permission to call this evening and
renew the acquaintance which, although
commenced under such untoward cir
cumstance, has yet afforded me much
bapplneast"
The look which accompanied these
words was so beseeching that my heart
yielded and I murmured an almost In
audible "Yes," which favor he ac
knowledged by a slight pressure of my
baud.
Mrs. Wharton and I had a hearty
. I , . I ..M
laugh over my adventure, aim
he called that evening she was com
pletely charmed with both his manner
and appearance.
The acquaintance, commenced so
strangely, progressed rapidly, and be-
fore my visit was nair over i u
reason to bug my old brown mer.no
with a grateful heart for being ,;"' "
conocloua nieann of bringing me no
much happiness.
I afterward had the pleasure nf see
ing Mis Annie Hose's brown suit. Need
I ay It was as far superior to mine as
a brand new three-dollar a-yard mate
rial could be to a aeventy five-cent
merino which was In Ita second season.'
"Never mind." said my lover, a 1
pointed out tbe difference, "you shall
have aa many ruffles and flounce as
you like hereafter, but thl brown dress
1 imply perfect, for It contain Hose.
CHARACTER IN ONE'S VOICE.
It
la a I , , . . , i.i i, ih. Wurd ton
Inialr
I'nle tbe voice sound cordiality.
word are powerle: unle tbe voice
atteit telf-conddence. protet'atlon do
not convince: uuleat the voice (peaks
sincerity, the apology l uelet. It I
ueceary that we tbould control the
voice to a redectlou of that phase of
mind and mood wbkh we desire to pre
ent. Wneu we would convince people
of our efficiency we mutt not permit a
weak kneed voice to ItaggOf under the
word. Wheu our heart go out In
warmth and affection It caunot get far
Iu a brai-llued. Iroubound voice, t'nu-
clllatlou la valu wheu the voice rlug
defiance.
Imagine yourself at a telephone when
tbe luvtruineut whirrs ami wheeze.
Tbe mutt Impassloucd appeal to Juhfl
to come home to dinner aud meet
Cousiu Mary I likely to prove Ineffect
ual. A message to "that brute of a
drew maker-man" who want hi mon
ey, may be divided into the receiver
with all dignity of tone and choice of
word, but the wobbled reproduction at
the other end dues not go. You may
use all your iimst dulcet tmu and urns',
expressive words when you are talk'ng
through the possessed wire to the busi
ness manager, but if the possessed wire
is in a creaky tit the baslMM manager
din-it not get the light Idea at all.
The truth I that most of us are al
ways talking through a telephone. Tbe
honest will, the courteous lutetit, the
high heart of courage, speaks clear and
sweet ami strong, but the lllllltled,
wheezy, creaky, t Inn. unnatural, color
less result at our lips misrepresent! us.
and John doesn't, tbe dressmaker-man
Insists, and the business manager gives
the other fellow the Job?
What can we do about It? The diffi
culty Is almost always llrwt a voice hab
It a color the voice has taken on from
some prevailing tint In our life. This
Is so with almost everyone. This strain
of tbe natural voice color Is not voice
individuality; it Is a modifying of voice
Individuality, an obscuring of it. it is
a habit -not u characteristic, it must
be gotten rd of.
Only Just what yon want numt go
into your voice. Think of that a little.
When you call to the child who stand
ou the edge of a fall, shall your panic
go into your voice, or Just the reassur
ing note of gentle authority that yon
know will bring the child to you, In
stead of starting him over the dreadful
edge? When you Interview the Insub
ordinate cook, shnll your sense that she
very well deserved to be thrown out of
your back door aud her trunk on top of
her prevail In your voice, or your eurn
efl desire to keep her In hand till after
the Impending dinner? When you face
just the personality In your world who
holds ut the minute your fortunes In his
gift, shall your sick sense that be does
not know and may not believe In your
tltness for what you are going to ask.
color your voice, or shall your firm be
lief thai you can 1111 the place character
ize It? That I the whole question.
Shall your voice vibrate to such quality
of your mood as you choose, or ahull It
be at the mercy of Just what will do
you Injustice Iu the mind of those who
bear. Werner's Magazine.
RECENT INVENTIONS.
Wood figures can be rapidly dupli
cated by a new currying machine, hav
ing two pedestals ou which the figure
and block are mounted, with a tilting
and sliding support for the tracing aud
cutting tool, a flexible shaft operating
tbe latter.
An Improved window-curtain brack
et has a sleeve secured to the end of
the screw, with a square rod mounted
In the sleeve to slide Iu and out aud
adjust the curtain pole, u bracket being
also carried by the shank to support
the shade roller.
A New York man has patented I
screen door which can be used Iu the
winter, the screens being arranged In
panels, which cnu lie removed and
Klnss or wooden panels iuserted In cold
weather, being locked in place by but
tons attached to the door frame.
In Pennsylvania a man has patented
an Incandesceut light of high candle
power, a pencil of material conductive
onlV when heated being act In u boil
loots! position to complete the circuit.
the passage of t,ie current through It
causing It to glow and give out a white
light.
Shaving Intber can be rapidly pro
,i, I h ii new machine, which tlrst
einela the oxygen from the water
mixing the latter, after besting, with a
suitable soup, which Is contained in i
I,, j,, contact with the water
the lather being formed by agitating
the machine.
In a new device to enable ordinary
bicycles to be used on a railroad three
rod's connect the frotit. rear and top of
the frame with a shaft cnrrylng a
Banged wheel to run on the opKslte
track while revolving disks are suh
ponded beside the bicycle wheels to uct
us flanges for tne inner.
CARRIED OFF THE BRIDE
Strmitfr
MUadvrulurr that lUdil I
Chiucc I .. - i
The way of Oriental bride would
scarcely salt their Occidental listers, mqipeted with
In China a bride usually ride in a rich
ly embroidered red edau chair, decor
uted with dowrr. and hired for the
occasion.
Not long ago In Canton city a man
hired a chair to carry hla bride to hi
houieitead In the luburb. 11. dll
tance wa great aud tbe hour late.
Wheu the four chair coolies and the Ian
teru bearers arrived at their destina
tion the chair contalulug the bride wu
deposited outside the doorway to await
the auspiciou hour selected for open
ing tile door to admit the bride and the
.ml es adjourned to all opium di-n; and.
as they had traveled a long way and story
were tired, they soou fell asleep. How
long they doaed they knew not. but on I
awakening they returned and found
the bridal chair outalde the doorway.
They came to the not nnj&atursl conclu
sion that the bride hud already entered
the household and that the Chair was
left there fur them to take back to IDS
City. Since they had all received ihelr
pay In advance they did not :. n to
make further Inquiries, but hurried
boms with the chair, put It In a loft,
and. rolling themselve up in the r bed,
slept the sleep of the Just, in the
meantime the bridegroom Beard the
bridal party arrive, but had to await
the stroke of the auspicious hour before
Welcoming the bride. At last the can
dle were lit. Incense stick were light
ed. the new rice and viands for enter
taining the bride were served, the
parents-ln-lsw put on their best suits
ami so did the bridegroom and. with
much pomp unit ceremony, the door
was thrown wide open; but as far as
the lanterns' light would reach, 161
there was not a trace of tbe bridal
chair or bride, nor a single soul to be
seen. Great wax their consternation.
mid it became greater still as they
eluded that bandits must have kid
naped the bride and would hold her for
ransom. The district Officer was
SrOUsed, IBS CSSS "lis reported to the
village Justice of the peace and II i
parties were sent out In every direction.
n page or two of wmtWftBPilfl Intra
IdOCtlon, and that I tbruwu asld in
hair u uiiuiite' luipectlou, without
. turning more than the next page. The
l uext I written in tbe lirst periou. and
I'.." "We don't want
that (got let leal stuff." The first verse
of tin poem ha false meter and
t. SSed aside I he next USCtttl In school
girl style, w 1 1 It "dove'' a ml "hue." It Is
tint read through. f tbe next the
editor reads leu I ass. it i simply a
dull description of a strsam iu a forest
uot wanted The neat iocui begins
In a fresh wuy. seem to bo contrui tisl
according to the rules. Ik pretty good
It Is put otic side to see If oilier better
poems will crowd it out. The next I
a story. Tbe first pane U promising,
but the second shows it coarse strain,
ami the reading stops there. Another
follow - Tbe lc ginning Is Hot
promising, but a gtanCS at the middle
.in.i cud show s a marked Improvement
and it Is nUd aside for a mure critical
examination. Iu half au hour twenty
articles are psSSSd.Upon, and with suf
ficient good Judgment for a minute to
s manuscript is often more than it
needs.
A FKW FI NNY BILLS.
SOME AUTHENTIC EXAMPLES OF
FREAK LEGISLATION.
Lsnctusbls Laws Mm Lesjtslstors Ara
Aakrd to f "iid home Comical
Oaes that Havs iruii sosj Plsesri
t post Uu eitdtntc Hooks.
in
. If
P'satatlj-
Everybody n - ttir dollar;
Iu Portugal men play uikui the guitar
as naturally as xatnioss whistle. The
peasants an- universally given to the
Instrument, chiefly as an nccompau
incut to the voice. In towns and til
lages fhe artisans are often expert
guitar players utul walk Iu groups to
anil from their uoik. HtllVSnlaVg the
Journey w lib music aud song, The car
penter who comes to your bouse to exe
cute a small Job bring! bis guitar with
1 ids tools and tbe black smith Is n far
better performer oil the guitar than the
anvil.
When Portuguese day laborer or
woii. man bus iliilsh-d bis long day
toll be does not hie 1 1 1 s s to a WlBO shop
to squander the few cants be lis
earned; he does tint even lean against
a post and smoke, nor Whittle a stick
while swapping yams with bis fellows.
If be did not I ring bis guitar with blm
be goes StrStghl homo ami gels It. rest
and comforts himself with the music
w hile supper I being prepared. After-
ihscoykhy or mi-: muni:.
The bridegroom, though distracted, had
tense enough to rush to the city and
mnke Inquiries of the chair bearers,
The coolies were duiiifoiinded and ex
plained w hat they had done. Together
hey Climbed to the loft, opened the
door of the chair and found the demure
looking bride, long Imprisoned ami half
starved, but still appearing to her best
advantage In ber beautiful bridal
gown. The bride nppeared to have
known that she was being carried
backward and forward, but could not
protest, because It Is the custom for
bride not to open their lips till the
marriage ceremony Is performed.
Hence all the trouble.
Philippine Women.
Aristocratic Philippine women
ilnlire Iii no greater bodily exorclai
Kiev can help It, than that required for
driving or shopping. Hut the peasant
an shares her husband s work.
whatever It may be, laboring at the
plow, behind nn ungainly carabao or
water buffalo In the paddy field, or
helping to pole huge lorcha. or cocoa
nut raft, up or down the river, besides
attending to ber domestic cares. Hun
dreds of girls are employed in the great
cigar factories, aud others In the con
vents labor to wenve the fur famed
plna lace of the Philippines, several ut
a time squatting ou the floor around a
ilngla frame, picking ami manipulating
with -left fingers the Innnltsslmally
delicate fibers. Sometimes they work
tor months to complete single man
tilla or bandkarcblef. Tics.- native
women are rarely employed by BuTO
.... in res dents as domestic servants
exc ept in tbe capacity Of lady s maid
or cblldreu's nurse, and even tb. s
positions are occupied by soy They
,,, .,v unreliable, and the Otter ab
M0Ce Of sense of gratitude, so cliamc
teristlc of the entire Philippine race,
renders it nn almost hopeless and very
SXSSpSratlng task to attempt to trslu
tbem as servants.
In s hsppy household there should bs ( lUi.A.uu.
no room for doubL
Most of our troubles are easier to
..... u ,.t ..up frliOiilM
i iir t tin u lue tuuiuicun v s.. ..
ALL WERE SELF-CONVICTED.
Qsorttte fcnwjrors Hand ad Ovsr Their
OtUSS with Hlnuulur t niinliiilty.
Qeorgla has a stringent law forbid
ding its citizens to carry pistols on pain
f forfeiting the weapons and paying
a fine of Jot) or being Imprisoned for
thirty duys. Shortly lifter the passage
of this enactment Judge Lester was
holding court In a little town, when
suddenly be suspended the trial of a
case by ordering the sheriff to lock the
doors of the courthouse.
"Gentlemen," said the Judge when
the dOOTfl were closed. "1 have Just sn u
u pistol on a man Iu this room and I
cannot reconcile It to my sense of duty
to let such a violation of this law pass
unnoticed. 1 ought perhaps to go be
fore the grand Jury and Indict blm, but
if that man will walk up to this stand
and lay his pistol and a fine of 1 down
here I will let 111 ff fills time."
The Judge paused, and a lawyer sit
ting Just before blm got up, Slipped his
hand Into a hip pocket, drew out a
uent Ivory-handled six-shooter and laid
It with a dollar down upon the stand.
This Is all right." Mid ths Judge,
"but you are not the man I saw with
the pistol."
t'pon this another lawyer arose and
laid dov n a Colt's revolver and a dollur
bill before the Judge, wbO repented Ills
former observation, me pnn-i- eu.
on until nineteen pis' Is of ull kinds
ml sizes and shapes lay upon the
stand, together with nineteen dollars by
their side. The JudgS laughed as he
Complimented the nineteen delinquents
upon being men of business, but added
that the ninn wi he had seen with
the pistol had not come up and. glanc
ing ut the far side of the court, be con
tinued: "I will give blm 000 minute to accept
my proposition, and if bs fails I win
bund blm over to tbe sheriff."
Immediately two men from the back
of the court rose and began to move to
ward tbS Judges stand. Once tiny
stopped to look at each other, and then,
coming slowly forward, laid down
their pistols and Ibslr dollars. As they
turned their backs the Judge said:
"This man with the black whiskers
Is the one that I originally saw."-New
York Press.
ward he spends the evening singing
doggerel songs to a st lumping uccom
panlment, tilled back In chair against
bis own house wall or oil the doorstep
of a neighbor.
II nil u Manuscripts.
It would be a revelation to the
young writers who complain that every
word of their stories Is not read, to see
how fast an expert ooed and eonscleii
tlous editor can. st tlries. go through
a big pile of essays, stories or poems.
Tbe title Is often enough, aud he would
say, "We don't want an article on that
subject." The uext article begins with
ii jio 1 1 - statural iimiKe.
The famous natural bridge of Vir
ginia is sltusted in Rockbridge County
and spans the mountain chiisin Hi which
Hows the Utile Stream called Cedar
creek, the bed of wblcb Is more than
two hundred feel below tbe surface of
the plain. Tlie middle or the urch Is
forty-live feet In perpendicular thick
ness, which Increases to sixty feet ut
lis Juncture with the vast abutments.
It Is SlXty feet wide, and Its spun Is
utmost ninety feet. Across the top Is
a public road. For many years the
name of Washington, cut In tbe rock
forming one of the abutment)) when
tlie Fill her of his Country was a lad.
Stood high above all others; but In IMS
a student of Washington College. Vir
ginia. Piper by name, climbed from the
fool to the top of the rock, and placed
his in shove that of Washington.
A (story of llUiiiarek.
Itlsmnrck was for some time an of
llchil reporter for one of the courts of
Justice, (poll one occasion, when
questioning a witness, the inner mafia
un Impudent retort, whereupon the em
bryo Chancellor exclaimed, angrily!
"If you nre not more respectful, I shall
kick you out of the room!" "Young
mailt" "aid the Judge. Interrupting the
proceedings, "I would have you under
stand that this Is a dignified court of
Justic e, and thai If there Is any kleklng
to be done the court will do It!" "Ah,
you see." mild Bismarck to tlie witness:,
"If you are not more respectful to mti
the court will kick you out of the room.
So be careful, very careful. slr"
Trutini the I'lomiie or Air.
Prof. Iicwar lias recently devised a
new method of testing the coiitainlnn
tlou of air. A short Hint- tlgn be exhib
ited before the Hoyal Institution two
samples of liquid nir In glass tubes
one WSJ made from nir whleh bad been
washed to purify It from dust, Soot.
carbonic acid and other Impurities,
This, when condensed, wn u pale blue
liquid. The oilier sample was made by
condensing the air of tbe lecture-room
in which the sudlence was assembled)
:iin! was nn opaque, bbtCklsb Uuld, re
sembling soup in nppeaftsncSi
"Polly oss,"
An old lady lately naked President
Badley of sals be tciu tbe story bin
salt what be was teaching. To III re
ply. "Economics," the suid, thought
fully; "Oh, you tench the StudsntS to I
economical. That is good. When i
srsi I young lady they never leaned 10
i. sco nomlcal until they got married."
The True I onflltlon.
Itrlggs Do you believe that the world
Is divided Into two I lasses those who
borrow and those who lend?
fJrig.'s No, sir! My experience is
Unit two oiler linsses are inui h more
prevail ni those who want to borrow
and those Who won t Isnsd, -Pittsburg
IMspatcU.
Almost every man get s notion w hen
he is on the back of a horse that bo
looks like the equestrian statues of
(Jen. (JranL
The Legislatures of the various States
in thi conn try ure rsapanilbls for moss
fresk In eur law that are extrem.lv
funny. The last Legislators of the tov
erelgn Slute of Missouri passed a bill
called ths "pore bear ia" through isiti,
bouses, and it was signed by the Qo
eruor. This provides that "no person
or persons or corporation engaged In
the brewing or manufacture Of beer or
other malt liquor shall use any sub
stance, material or chemical, in the
manufacture of beer or other mall liq
uor other than pure hops or extract of
hop, or pure barley, malt, or whole
some yeail or rice." Water I not meu-
t toned, as a nothing but the above nit
stance may l- used the people of Mis
souri are wondering whether they Wl'l
take their beer In solid form or how.
Perhaps soma one will come out with
beer tablets.
Down in Texas the lower house
passed what was culled a "slngte tax
law" which it wus with a vengeance,
It provided that every unmarried man
over 80 who had Dot "exerted due dili
gence" In gelling married ahould pay
a line of every year. In order to de
fine "due diligence" the bachelor's Hue
was to lie remitted If be brought Iu
yearly an affidavit from some reputable
woman that he hud offered himself 10
her in marriage during the year.
Ill ISU7 the Missouri Legislature also
hud n "single tax law," but It took the
other tack and lined widows and maid
ens "not less than 100 nor over atO"
for rejecting a man. It was finally
amended lO add to the Hue the provis
ion that tbe fair one should dam the
socks mid ew ou buttons for the re
Jciicd suitor for six months. This
laughed It out of the House.
Hut the West Is not the only offender.
New Jersey passed a law taxing bach
tlora in IMfii sud ns its repeal wus
never heurd of. it may bO still BMOfflU
latlng dust among the archivist, ami is
one of those llungs the eXSCUtlVS
sweiirs to enforce, but does uot know
of and practically cannot know io-
canea there ure so many of them. Hut
the 1H1I.S New Jersey Legislature sent
to be engrossed a law for taxing bache
lors. It Is about on a par with the one
Introduced In 1888, in ths same state,
prohibiting the picking of huckleberries
with the fi-et.
At Albany one of the Tammany b'gls
la torn Who did not know u bill from a
highwayman's blllj was told bo ought
to have a law named after himself, so
he Introduced I measure and secured
Its passage through the Assembly
which made n a penal offense to put
lestt than thirteen oysters In nn oyster
stew. This would be hnrd on church
fulrs.
Hut tills Is not worse than the ordl-
M Introduced IntO the Common
Council of New York City, which Us
mover explained us follows-. "One of
the greatest perils of this big city, ".he
said, "Is the danger of being run dOWa
by street curs. F.very person hit by a
street cur is struck by the front plat
form. Am I right? Of course I am.
You never heard of u mnn being
knocked down by the rear platform or
by the side of the car. Now the remedy
Is simple. My resolution abolishes front
platforms."
Similar to this Is bill No. L'.'l of the
Kentucky Legislature, which reads: "It
shall be unlawful for any ersoii to tire
or discharge ut random any deadly
weapon, whether said weapon be load
ed or unloaded." Realty that Legis
lature must have hud In view the dam
nge done by weapons thought to bs un
loaded, Michigan has on Its statute books the
WaltO anil treating law, passed In lMto,
which prohibit the purchase of liquor
to be given to another as a Treat, iind
In South Carolina private dispensaries
became so obnoxious that a bill wus
Introduced making It unlawful for a
citizen of thnt Slute to wear hip pock
ets in his trousers, the minimum pen
alty being 180 and six months' Impris
onment. Missouri would prevent Its people
from eating green watermelons by ap
pointing a watermelon Inspector, and
Iba bill was only defeated when a vent-ruble
member moved Unit the Inspec
tor's title should be "The fltlbial Plug
ger, Muncher and Taster of the State of
Missouri." And ulm tin- same Legisla
ture sent to engrossment u bill prevent
ing card playing on the tlrst day of the
week.
II T "Faithful In adversity" Is such a
euleuce engraved on au old sword of
the teveuteeutb century. In a collec
tion of btsdai of the slxtceuth century
nre these inscriptions: "I quarrel."
"Cod gives me speed, that my foe be
be. ii indeed" "Willi til ll defense and
Cod s win. ail my tuamlea i shall tttV
"111 buttle I will let myself be used."
"When I my sword uplift Iu strife. Cod
give the sinner eternal lift, l'rutt
in Cod. bravely war, tboreU your fame
and honor are." "Your ulni iilotie be
CimI's great Mima, Who dare deny,
strike IbOO liiin lame." "F.very soldier
Hue, look on this sign, and MM his
hand for Cod ami the l.nid."
Ou blades from the eighteenth cen
tury ure these Inscriptions! "Nothing
better in the world thou hast than 10
hold love and friendship f.ft." "1
serve." " good bind" I who would
deny lei blm meet ma and I will hold
-It will iost him or blood or gold."
New fork Proas,
KBfl
Tim ways or Royalty,
There have been many royal authors,
and we wish sometimes there were yet
aunt ber, a prince of pure blood and of
a really great house, to tell us meaner
folk bOW prl IS really feel about the
etiquettes which environ them, says
the Spectator. They seem ho suffocat
ing, yet they can hardly be really do-
li sted by those w ho obey tin or they
would not bnve survived us they bava
done so inuny cbunges In the Way of
men.
One "r two etiquette! have died out,
probably, I SUM they wcitrled court
iers, who took uilvanlnge of cbunges of
dynasty or the like silently to leave off
obeying them; hut enough remain
mnke of primes a caste separate In
habits from mankind. No Sovereign is
now served, we Imagine, on bended
knee, nor does uny one on whom a
king's glance fulls think It Incumbent
uu him, us Cecil did, at once to ki Ii
but enough are left to make life very
tlroaoma,
It must be n horrid bore to a king
never to be able to move without ut
tendunce, or to chat easily, or to enter
or leave a room without exciting a
conunotion. Legend declares that
Lord Wllllnin Heiitlm k, finding tbe
first of tin HqOetteS In full forte
win n be took up his Indian vice rojr
alty, threatened to resign unless It
could be abolished, and was relieved
to find that he wits absolute enough,
provided be wrote the order, even to be
able to ulter un etiquette.
Qeorge Cannon, the Dtah states
man, onco attended an Irrigation eon-
giess, ui Which a drowsy ib legate read
a paper on artesian wella, which be de
clared always brought water except
when- they struck rock, lie repeated
this statement several times. At the
fourth repetition he defied any one tO
deny the prop,e,llh.n. wherOOpOO Can
non' looked up and. In bis full, musical
voire, iiskisl. "How do you account for
Moses' StKCSSBT"
sir Henry BrsklM once quelled ii
riot In Bdlnburgb when Mrs. Ilddons
was playing to u crowded house In the
largest theater In the town, a surly
fellow Iu the pit refused lo sit down.
and n howl went up fr ill around
blm, The crowd was likely to do lit its
and tbe house u damage, when Sir
Usury cams to the front of his Ihix
with the quiet statement! "Pray excuse
the gentleman; rlon'l you sc.- it i only
a lullor resting himself?" The mini
sat down without further urging.
When Henry Clay wus stumping
Kentucky for re election, ut MM of his
mass meetings Bfl Old hunter of wide
political Influence said: "Well, Hurry,
I've always been for you. but liccuilso
of thut vote" i which be mi modi. "I'm
L-olii' in-Ill von." "Let me se- your
rifle," said tiny, ii was nandeq up n
him. "Is she n good rllle':" "Yes."
Hid she ever miss lire?" "Well. yes.
once. "Why illilll l you mrow uer
awayl" TI Id hunter tbOOght a mo
ment and then snld. "Hurry, I'll try
you agin." And Harry was elected.
Sir John Adye, who was Coventor of
Clbrultar foiiress, ulwnys made him
self closely acquainted with tha w ork
of whatever happened lo be his depart
ment. Meet lug n ihtsoii once coming
into tbe office late, ths general nsked
him what lime be wns siipisMt-d lo be
on duly. "Oh!" was the reply, "I usu
ally stroll In sbOUl eleven or twelve
o'clock.'' "Stroll lit V" Mil ll Sir John. In
a rising tone; "Mien I presume ynil do
not leave Ull later "Well, l usually
slip off about two o'clock." "81lp off
at two?" exclaimed the veteran, in his
topmost note; "pray, niny 1 nsk whnt
depnrtineiif you Isdong lo'" "(Hi,"
Bid tbe stranger. "I come every Sttt-
urday to attend to the clocks,"
At n meeting Of an autograph socie
ty, composed of young W0IMB, In Chi
cago, one psrtlcular celebrity w ho had
remained obdurate to all reqilesit for
his signature wus almost unanimously
voted to lie ii "ineuii old thing." The
one girl who had not concurred In the
geiierni coodsmnatJoc asserted thai the
others did not kuow how lo manage
iiiis particular Uon, "IU show you,"
she declared, and forthwith wrote and
mulled to lb-- celebrity II request com
posed of only two words. They were,
"Autograph, please." At the next reg
ular meeting the girl appeared tri
umphantly waving a sheet of letter
paper over her bend. It wns the reply
of the celebrity. He seemed reproach
ful. All he wrolawns: "You must bo
pressed for time," with his signature
following.
The late Timothy D. Crocker nearly
thirty years ago wns president of a
lecture course association, and ou the
list of entertainers was Murk Twain.
It was the custom for the president to
Introduco the speakers, and then to
annot the program for tha next en
tertainment In the course. On this pnr-
tlciilar evening Mr. Crocker and Mark
enme upon the platform and took their
seats before a hull full of ptaapte,
Twain waited for hi opportunity nnd
stole a march on lbs dignified president
by stepping to the front of the plat
form and Saying: "Ladles nnd gentle
men, the next Iodine In I he course will
lie delivered two weeks from to night
by Blankety Blank, l bava tha great
pleasure this evening of Introducing to
you Murk Twnln." Then Murk paused
I moment bsfOrS he added: "I would
always rather Introduce myself. 1
cutise then I BIS sure to get 111 all the
facts." Mr. Crocker, rather embarrass
e.l, was Mill silling back III bis chulr.
and the iiudbnce enjoyed the Joke
much Is-lter than he did.
uumr Inscription.
Hough as the lighters of old were, the
inscriptions which they put ou their
swords often showed uot only consid
erable poetic Instinct, but seulluieutal-
I to BOOBOtnlO Conditions.
According to Combo, boys born In the
months of September, October, Novem
ber, December, January and February
are not so tall ns those born In other
mouths. Those boru In November aro
the shortest. Hlrls, according to tbo
sumo authority, bom In December,
Janunry( I"sbruaryl Ifaroh, April and
May show a less length of body than
those born lu the remaining months.
Those boru from Juno to November
nre taller, but the tallest are bom in
August. To some extent these facts
are attributed to economic conditions,
for a child born lu summer has geueis
ally better food Utul air.
A Flag with a History.
Among the flags hung lu the new
memorial hull In the Massachusetts
Slute House lu Huston are those which
the famous Sixth Massachusetts regi
ment carried In tin; fight In the streets
of Baltimore u April IB, 1881, aud
throughout the civil war. The Stuto
Hug of the regiment Chaplain Habbldge
kept folded across Js breast under hla
coat for sufe keeping during the Hrt
few days the regiment yos lu WushUig
ton. Baltimore News,