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About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (March 10, 1900)
gTPOS8IIJILITIES. . n0t whoo tbe tup goes down, ' jded to m1 ,,or B'!!idlr food or tlDed rD,"rn JSSS 01 ,ore- . not, trails I Hw '""'y. I SKwMJ to tbe goel- , t cm show i kindness to l ionf who stands without. TTn pr-l-e .ome toiler who JltoiM In doubt. . ,t hfD the '" a"D 1 ,tl" i . or better uinn Jttrwbt the fate, may wlll .i,..n the day began. log ;t.um Finding the Diamonds. J T M, ner system that made Mrs. howwo" 111,1 8uc. " i .. nnr she was Uli and rjfli titb anything "lie could lay ber rtowwl yon that lying didn't pay I- .he Ml concerned. A lie turned ...r mouth, mm jou :,- a- Lhiiid another. sit to )' n, lier y,(,m hndn 1 "J Even system una. aiiu lu allied truth l sometimes an awful a I- "' .....(1 ll.nn attV lB(-trn timea more a mm .uu fforoucan tntiiK oi m i alien lotan jonea came. uueei, l... i; - ' had "or wora cut oui. r-. rlrl lied like au eel-mere was uo clilnr hold of her. it first she Just chirped out lies as pearled as a bird. "Flens'm. It iL , eat." or anything that came ntnnoat. But the cat bad a way of 'V tit.l il.nl natnnl.hMl Slllsnn broTing nn in"' - id. en. in cot aa cautious as charity, I id it would have done your heart good " . I. llr. Ilnhln. I, ire the mo m iu . n tud no SOODer got tne rerrei ot nth Into one hole than Susan was out Li in it auut her. hjijone else would have got sick and tirmted, hut .Mrs. itouiuson amu i. For," ealJ she, "iiie gin mis uer points, ind I'll make a woman of tal she eitceeeded, for Susan got riira out by the sheer uselessness of k.ihln. and at last shut down In dls- Ljt After that the girl did not depart om the truth for six mouths, and then let off the awfulest lie Mrs. llobln- hjil ever heard In ber born doys. It lent Mrs. Hobinsou thought It was. It happened like this. One morning then Susan was In the coal cellar sho Mid i lady's ring that dazzled your Hind took your breath away. "It'i one of them 5-cent things as you buy In any tinker s shop, sue saiu herself. "J nst a lot o' rubbishy ... I ..I. IuIUm It's ii.rtftlk lu.tt,. Htm about. .ft took It to her mistress, however. ML Robinson gave a cry when she lithe ring and started up with her :li open. "It looks like one of the mentioned In my grandmother's pentorj," she said. "I shouldu't won- lf It belongs to the lust set of dla- Un. Robinson was a widow and lived Ith her brother John. Few men could "1 XtvlK TOUCH U) IT, ma'm." P wiser than Mr. John when he tried. spectacles made him look like Sol- Mi When he came home ho put ta on and raked out the Inventory, Placed his forellnger on an exact wlptlon of the Hun. It wm valued Moo. per they had all wondered awhile ft put on last year's clothes, got can- in., went Into the cellar, but Nh they shifted the coals about for m they got nothing but their faces ifsea. Mr. John's was the blackest. nen she had got herself washed 'United Mrs. Robinson nut the rlnir land wore it till ulght, but before re- m to rest she put It on her toilet ft in case It got lost In bed. toe morning the ring was cone. a took a red face as soon as her ."ess came down stairs. Mrs. Uob- pojust stood still and looked at her moment, ami then she said: usan, what have you done wltb the I never touched It. ma'am." was Mt1 reply, and the trlrl sat rlirht poa her chest and burst Into tears. Hen What are vnil rrrlno. fr.rV In. Pd 'uer mistress. I Susal1 fobbed on and said noth- F lre you an hour to make np yottf - xuui it,- gal(! Mr9 R0binson. not to do any work for that 1 Mt OD the rhnf tho n-hnlo .Irlr P'M ,Dd Cried herself out. Mrs. ISOn cuiiu. .Imi-n at tK ,k.t Pnd found her still glued to the lid. "usan, i waut tne 80iemu 'n'm." l the rlno-r- fnn took It. ma'am." brotherri eia." he was. Mr. John was struck ... " "n"n his sister mentioned the hat wha what?" he The irlrl t iiah, n, n t p ucb a thing In my life. I "eed as much," replied his sls- uung on her chest, look- ItUlltV H a ....I I , , a V. L m ,ru uernng. 8,1 to be itnt,." ' lha'n't mii i .. -TTT ""mg progress, and the oul, nut .-a .. . " h will .iv. . .t It oi M me riuc yei. Lii be wron 'o keep her here. rMlI Dark n j , . lw - " iv-umy ami leave 10- And Susan got notice accordingly. "I knew you wouldn't believe me." said the girl, gulping down a lob. "Then why did you tell m such a thing?" . "Because it's true." "Don't say any mure. I don't want to bear It. I don't suppose you will ex pect any wages." Susan turned ghastly pale. "I must have them," she gasped. "My mother ueeds the money to pay her rent. If he doesn't get It tbey will turn her out Into the street, and she's not strong." "She doer n't Intend to try to sell the rlng-at least not yet," thought Mrs. Robinson. "If I give her ber wages she won't need to do It, and she'll Mod It back." As the old lady lay awake In the mid dle of the ulcbt, the door was cautious ly pushed open aud Susan came In silently. "Mrs. Robinson, are you awake?" The quest Ion came In a Itrrlfled whis per. Susan's eyes were stnrlug out of her head, and her teeth were chatter ing. "What Is the matter, Susan?" "Master has gone np to the garret with a candle. 1 think there Is some thing wrong." Mrs. Robinson enme hantlly over her bed and followed Susnn nolteleanlr along the passage. A glimmer of light snoue tnrough the banisters above. Mrs. Robinson saw that her brother was coming downstalns, staring straight ahead with his eyes dilated. He aniiroarhed as statelv ns n wax figure, ami almost brushed against them. Uhe light of the candle fell full on their white, upturned faces, as he passed, but be took no notice of them. Down the next flight of stairs he went, his sister and Susan following for they wanted to see what he was go ing to ao. iney tost signt or him at the foot of the stairs, but soon heard the door of the coal cellar creaking on Its hinges. Stealing toward It they peered through. He was Inside working a stone In the wall, which In a few mo- DISTANCES IN SOUTH AFRICA. TtMf Often Appear to Urn Pouit. wbiit CuofusiOB, The question of dlstauces In South Africa appears to he somewhat confus ing. The figures here given are takeu from ofhVlal sources ami may be rel.ed upou. The distant e In whit b the uiosl Interest is taken are those Iwiwrru Caiw Town, Durban, aud Tort Eliza beth, the main British bases ou the seacoast. aud the towns of Ladysuilth. Klmberley and Mafeklug. tu each case Is also printed, for purposes of com parison, the name of some town or city which lies at about the same distaucr from Chicago. The distance from Cape Town tc Kltnlierley by railroad Is m; miles I 'rmn Chicago to Minneapolis Is only 1.1 miles, while, contluulni: the Jour uey. It is but tils miles Jo WatfrtOWO S. D. r'rom Caie Town to Mafeklun Is 870 miles, which Is forty-two miles less than the distance from Chicago U New York. If the lCngllsb. tOOTlDI from Cape Town, should start to cap ture the capital of the South African Republic they would be obliged to trav el 1 . H i miles to reach Pretoria, which Is practically equivalent to the distance between Chicago and Denver. 1.KI miles, and Is lis miles further than from Chicago to New Orleans. In a movement from Cape Town to BIOOBV fouteln. the capital of the Orange Fret State, "fsl miles would have to be cov ered, which Is more than equal to tin distance from Chicago to Des Moitus Iowa, and return. From Durban, the chief sea port of the Kngllsh colony pf Natal. It Is 1S1 miles by rail to LadytDllth, while from Chicago to Springfield, the capital ol the State. Is 18.1 miles. If an exiedltloc against the capital of the Transvaal re public should be started from Durbar It woulii be obliged to cover Till mites to reach Pretoria. From Chicago ti Omaha would be a shorter Journey by nineteen miles. Port Blhtabeth Is another sea port with railroad connections which might MAP SHOWING DISTANCES IN SOUTH AFRICA. ments he dislodged and set down ou the floor. He next took an Iron box out of the hole he had made, applied a key to It, raised the lid, and took some small article out. Then he replaced everything as It had beeu before, und. carefully obliterating all traces of his operations, left the cellar. As ho passed his sister and Swan they saw that he carried the lost ring between the forellnger aud thumb of his left hand. He then made his way toward his sister's room, luto which he disappeared for a few seconds. Coming out again ho mounted the stains In the direction of the garret "It's no use following him," said Mrs. Robinson. "I know the key he used and can get It In the morning." Mr. John was coming down the garret stulrs again, and they both held thelr breath In anxiety. He came all right till he got about half-way down, and then, whether one of his heels Interviewed a tack or some thing, no one will ever know, but all at once his legs shot out In front of him and he went sailing down the stalrn, missing one step more at every bump. With tho supernatural dexterity which characterizes the somnambulist, he managed to keep the candle In all the time, and now set It down In the lobby with a clnnk right end up. Mr. John rose with his face quite seri ous, and without rubbing himself or anything, went along the pnssage and disappeared Into bta own bedroom. "It Is evidently not the first time he has walked In his sleep," said the old lady. "He must have visited the box before. That Is how the ring came to be found. It must have dropped on the floor. To think that I never had the slightest suspicion? Susan, can you ever forgive me?" "Yes'm." "There, you see the ring on the toilet "UK WAS INSIIII WORKINO A STONE IX TI1K WALL. table. Just where I left It the night It went amlsslng." remarked Mrs. RoblB son. as they entered her bedroom. "The lost diamonds are In the box which Is hidden In the wall. I saw them. Get to bed. and we'll see them In the morn ing." And they did see them, and a wonder ful set of diamonds tbey were. A beau tlful. dazzling, shimmering necklace, and bracelets, and rings, all as set forth In the Inventory. "It was really you who found them," said Mrs. Robinson to Susan, "and I'll have them valued, and you'll get your legal reward and more. I'll pay your mother's rent aa long as she lives. ' London Weekly Telegraph. The Individual who frequently goes on a tear to seldom able to'pay the rant be used as a base for military opera tions. From Port Elizabeth to Pretoria Is 740 miles and to Bloetnfonteln Is 450 miles. Comparative distances are from Chicago to Baltimore, sol miles, and from Chicago to Kansas City. 4nn nllaa, From Delation Bay. In Portuguese tei ri tory, the irt from which the Boers have received their supplies ami muni tions, to Pretoria Is ,'IIM miles, thirty miles further than from Chicago to Cairo, III. When, soon after Oct. 10, 1S00, lb;.' date of the Boer ultimatum, the forces of the Transvaal moved down luto Na tal from their headquarters at Jo'iau tiesliurg. they advanced 2,11' miles In fore they met with the British at Glen-'in-. Then, after the lighting at Dun-.1.-. which Is on a spur of the mam railroad, tbey made a further advance of forty-two miles to Ladysmlih. Thence, still following the railroad, they moved south sixteen miles and succeeded In destroying the rallrsnd bridge at Colenso over the Tugela River, thus cutting the line of comui'i nlcatlon with Durban. 173 miles away. Chicago Tribune. A Hero of the Mines. In Rossmore mine, In Pennsylvania there Is a celebrated mining mule. Old Duke, by name. Old Duke has been there for thirty years and has saved many lives. He has an Instinct for fire damp the deadliest of all dangers that threaten miners which Is marvelous. Nothing elso makes him uneasy. But once he sniffs the tire damp he bolts for the lift. This gives the alarm, and the men follow In his path. They are not born In pits and caves, these mules whose lives are passed be neath the earth. But they are used In mining, and from the day when they first enter the mine they never leave their underground quarters until acci dent, old age or lameness renders them untlt for further work. He Hose tn the Occasion. There was a bit of fence opposite Rowley's drug store lu T , Kan., and as It proved convenient to loungers It was broken down tnoro than once. The owner, after putting It In order a sec ond time, fastened barbed wire on the top. There was fun for the clerks for a while watching those who. when Just about to sit down, suddenly concluded that business called them elsewhere. One day a farmer In from the country lounged' up to the fence, and. without noticing the barber wire, drew himself up and sat down squarely. He didn't Jump, he didn't swear; he merely got up and remarked coolly: "I think I've dwelt on that point long euough." Harpcr's Bazar. Much the Haine. Johnnie Paw, what Is a "paradox?" Paw-Well, a paradox, my son, Is something that ks self contradictory something that doesn't s.-.m to agree with the facts which permit It to exist. Johnnle-Oh, I thought It meant a pair of doctors. Ia Well, I guess It does. -Baltimore American. Burning I'Uy things. When a little Japanese girl marries the burning of the bride's playthluits Is part of the wedding ceremony. The bride lights a torch, which she hands to the bridegroom, who with It lights fire In w blch the toys are destroyed. Mulr Glacier la In Alaska, about 1 miles north of Sitka, between t'hllkat and Dyea. and Mount Falrweather. It terminates lu Glacier Bay. It was dis covered by John Mulr. the writer and mountain climber of California, in 1S78, when he was making a canoe trip among the Islands of Southeastern Alaska. The glacier was named lu his honor. The "axle-light" system la to be ap plied ou the trains of the Atchison. To pe k a aud Santa IV Railroad on an ex tensive scale. Each car will have Its own storage batteries supplied with electricity generated by the axles of the wheels, and the locomotive headlights will derive their lllumluntlon from the same source. It Is calculated that each full train, exclusive of the locomotive. will develop nearly 5,000 candle power of light. If tho weather Is exceptionally clear, and a strong glass Is used, a large ves tal can be sighted Ave or six miles away at sea. either from the bridge or look out station, fifty or sixty feet aUive the water, and if the vessel sighted be a Ite -unship, her smoke can sometimes hi detected before her stacks or hull are risible. Taking the height of the ob server lu feet, and extracting the square root, the result approximately expresses In miles tho distance at which the sea's surface can be seen from a ship. A notable recent achievement In archaeology 1s the discovery lu the Roman Forum of a massive pavement of black marble ulne feet square, which some bollere to hi the veritable "black at. me" which the Romans venerated as marking the tomb of Romulus. I'ndcr the marble, among other objects, was a broken stele, or sepulchral column, cov ered with archaic Latin characters, and this Is considered to bear out the state ment of the later Roman historians that In the early days the Romans spoke a tongue which their descendants could not understand. An enthusiastic wheelman In New York State recently got rid of a trou blesome sprinkling of tacks In a novel and effective manner. The trouble oc curred on a cycle path which had been made with cinders brought from the yard of a shoe factory, and which were tilled with Iron tacks. It was proposed to build an entirely new path, but our rider solved the problem more cheaply. Constructing a framework carried on rollers, like a carpet sweeper, he fur nished It with six powerful magnets and swept the track repeatedly, stirring Op the cinders until every tack was re moved. Between the northern point of Long Island and Watch Hill lies a row of little Islands, two of which. Plum Isl and and tioose Island, possess a pecu liar form of mineral wealth. It couslsts In heaps of richly-colored quartz m1 bles, showing red, yellow, purple and other hues, which arc I- ally called agates They are used lu making s:a tied glass windows, and there Is a sullliietit demand for them In New York to keep the owners of one or two sloiqis employed In gathering them from the beaches, where the waves con tinually roll and polish them, bringing out the beauty of their colors. With the Crossley reflecting telescope at the Lick Observatory photographs have recently been obtained which show a surprising structure lu the cele brated Ring Nebula In the constellation Lyra. With an ordinary telescope this nebula appears only as a delicate oval, hanging like a little smoke-ring, wltb fit list stars sprinkled about It on the dark sky. The photographs not only reveal a star situated In tho center of the ring, but they show that the ring Is made up, to use Prof. Heeler's expres sion, "of a number of narrower rings Interlacing somewhat Irregularly." The space within the ring, which Is covered with a faint nebulosity, la seen In the photographs to be crossed by three dark aud two bright bands. Near the ring Is a small Independent nebula whose photographic Image appears In the form of a "left-handed, two-branched spiral." The road l thirty five miles long. The uiulu parmlna station is a coveted eor rldor at the hall. The Duke could step from bis library Into this corridor, get nbcard the tialn and come back to tho same place In three hours, after visit lug the principal i enters of Interest l uless he wished to Imvc the car and wall, around at some of the ntiuu. he could take the trip bareheaded Ui In evening diess. as the car are heated by steam lu cold weather as I lighted by gas. Mod of the rolling stock was used by the guest and the woikinen about the plaee. as the Duke found that he could transport the farmers, gamekeepers, gardeners and others here ami there by steam and save time and money by it. When a man bad work to do at a point twenty miles or so (mm where he had been employed, the train could save half it day or so lu carrying him when- he wanted to go. Dp to the time of the Duke's death a regular schedule was lu serv Ice. Trains were run each way over the load nt least twice a day. and extra ones when ueded. The owner had a "special" consisting of a mltilatute palace car. It was elegantly upholster ed and bad an otllce. a smoking coin partment and moat ol the appoint ments ofMbe American private car except a sleeping compartment. k ORIGIN OF THE WIG. First Onr Mentioned In HUtnry Worn by king Boal0 I ' . 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 t . The first wig mentioned In history was made of goat's skin and worn by the daughter of Saul. King of Israel. The lirst artistic wigs wore made In the south of Italy for the Gaplulcus, who lived In Apulia aud were known for the luxuries of their toilet. These people were, they say. Ihe first who painted their facta ! this they d:d with the Juice of strawberries. The Persians wore w igs. Xenophon relates that little Cyrus, when be vis Ited A Sty ages, his grandfather, whose eyes were framed in blue paint und who woie an enormous wig, threw him self mi bis knees and cried: "Ob, moth it, what n beautiful grandfather have!" AglaK a maid of honor, was so struck by the appearance of the old gentleman that she rcmalued wltb Astynges as a slave. The Phoenician women, who were proud of their hair, hnv iug been order ed by their priests to offer It up on the altars dedicated to Venus after the death of Adonis, obeyed, but wltb mur muring. Soon after tbey were eonsolcd by a Greek merchant, who told them that he would give them the means of biding their bald pates under luxuriant curls. In his chariot he had hundreds of wigs of all colors. Wigs were lu vogue in Rome townrd the end of the republic, and so well made that, says Ovid. "No man could know If his wife bad any hair nt nil before she had given him an opportu ulty of seizing ber by the tresses." Teutonic peasants were the providers of blonde hair for rich Roman prlu cesses, who loved the cotitrnst of Its flaxen hue with their black eyes. They even had morning wigs, small and tightly Cttried, of any color, ami they kept the beautiful fair ones to receive their admirers at night. Messiillna had loll wigs to disguise herself. Clueln natl Commercial Tribune. A MODEL ESTATE. one-Half Fsrmers. Nearly &o Pr cent, of the people of France snd Germany are engaged In farming pursuits. rhcBplrndld Heat of the Late Million aire of Weatniiimter, The peculiar characteristics of the late Duke of Westminster, the richest man lu England, were well shown on his estate at Eatou Hall. This estate is beautifully situated partly In Wales aud partly lu England, the River Dee running through it Oue of the Duke of Westminster's hobbles was good roads. He hud one it the best road engineers in the king Jum in Ills employ, w ho was continual ly experimenting with material and machinery for road making. The hun dred odd miles of driveway on the es tute are by far the finest lu Europe. None lu Grent Britain or France equals them. The cyclist can actually ride ten miles nt a time without seeing a loose stone the size of a hen's egg. Most of them are built of a clay ami cement foundation, ou the top of which Is laid a mixture of crushed stone about the l.c of a walnut and more cement, rbll gives a surfaee so smooth that after a rainstorm washes away what little dust there Is the top Is like asphalt, only more level and without the undulations so often found In asphalt roadway. Other parts of the highways are composed of macadam without cement, but forced Into place by the weight of twenty-ton rollers ape rated by steam. The system has been an object lesson which highway builders lu her Majesty's domain and 9U the continent have studied with profit The roud making has given em ployment to a force of ) to 400 men constantly. Just how much has been pant on the roads nt Eaton Hall can n t be exactly estimated, but It runs up to over 11,000,000, However, his grace utilized them but little, going over bis estate on his private railroad Hue. When built, about ten years ago, this was oue of the most extensive pri vate lines lu the world. It was laid out with a gauge of three feet. The rails weighed twenty Age pounds to the yard. The engines averaged alout Ave totia each, and uuder a full head of Itata carried the owner over bis psce at tbe rate of eighteen miles an hour. Their Iteinarkalile Itrcnril. It would be well If all families could point to as creditable a history In (mint of freedom from domestic broils as that of Deacon Kemlrh-k, of Dasbvllle. The good deacon ami his wife were celebrating their fiftieth wedding annl versary. A large concourse of rela tlves and friends had assembled at the old homestead, a splendid dinner had been served and eaten, and the speech es, without which no anniversary of this kind Is considered to lie complete wen- In progress. "In nil these fifty years, my friends said Neighbor Brown. In the course of his remarks, "as I have beeu told a hundred limes and believe to be true, our venerable friend ami his wife have never exchanged a cross word. la It not so, Deacon?" "Yes, that's true," replied the deacon "Is It not so, sister?" asked Mr. Brown, addressing Mrs. Kendrlck. "Yes," she replied, with n twinkle In her eye. "Aimer may have given me a cross word now nnd then, but I've never answered back." LET US ALL LAUGH. JOKES FROM THE PENS OF VA RIOUS HUMORITaY ml lulrmsi WOO ra Mid us... h,,.m-' hii ISM lw tu anna Men Hurl last Hill ltnna, "You claim you were Insane wkea you proponed to Mis Autumnlcaf." said the lawyer to his client, who posed a the defendant lu a breach-of-pro .ilse suit. "Can you prove It?" No proof will tn required," replied the v ictim of circumstance. Why not?" asked the limb of the law. 'Because," answered the other, "the minute the Jury gets a glimpse of the plaintiff's face tbe case will be dls- l. ited." Lore's Vmuni Dream. B1 .1 ... , arajMlna Innfcl Wh'lt hi the whittle blowing for, dearest? lie l Hon t know, darling; tun n must be for either a station or a tun mi. She- Oh. I do hope It's a tunnel. Kdttorlal Oossissesiti "Poor old Jones, the grocer, died early this morning," said the village editor's better half. "Huh!" exclaimed the local opinion Older, "he's been dead for years." "Been dead for years!" echoed Ihe astonished wife. "Why, whut do you mean?" "Just what I said." replied the t. e. "Any man In buslnesn who doesn't ad Tertlse Is a dead oue." Out of the Ordinary. Rllklns- Do you remember that frerki le faeed. suub-uored Ellen ltrowu that used to go to school with ua? Blvens I never thought she was freckle-fifed or innbnoatd. 1 nlwa thought abe was pretty. What became of her? Bilklus- I married h-r. Glad to know that you too my view of ber, It's a )Volre to get ahead of these Joke writer osce lu a while. -Omaha World U.raW. Writdcal te ltvitllM, "(tee here," said the stage manager, "your manuscript calls for a different servant girl lu each ad. That BMMI three salaries where one w ould Im- suttl clent. Why not have one servant girl?" "My dear fellow," replied the play wright, "you forget that I a:n a realist. Two weeks are supposed to elapse be tween each act. I'll' aiieiptna rresw. Why Not Idve Forever? Old age results from the body Ix'com Ing too heavy and clumsy for the mus cles and sinews which are necensary to healthful activity. In all the food we eat there Is a certain proportion of lime. So long ns the muscles are actively em ployed this lime Is worked out of the system. If the body becomes Inactive It accumulates about the Joints and makes It more and more difficult to move them. Some of It gets Into the muscles themselves, making them hard and Inflexible. This Is the reason why heart disease proves so often fatal tn old people. When the muscular valves of the heart cease to work freely there Is danger nt almost any time of fatal results. If any man could exert enough will pOWM to make himself take a cer tain amount of exercise every day, bar ring accidents, he would live forever. Of course, a man might accidentally acquire a fatal Illness, and In that caso he might die In spite of his dumb bells. The Rabiooa, The great Caesar drew near to the Rubicon falterlngly, and, when he was Coma at lust to the banks of the uoted stream, he hesitated to eross. "How different It would lie If I were a college graduate:'' he exclaimed, with emotion. This Incident In the life of the famous Roman admonishes us to take advan tage of every opportunity to obtain a liberal education Detroit Journal. Ilegnril il ii" rime. There Is oue country In Ihe world where It Is Considered a crime to smoke. Abyssinia Is the region, and the luw forbidding tobaeCO dates from the year HWU. It was at first merely Intended to prevent priests from smok ing lu the CbUrcbea but It wns taken too literally, and nowadays even for eigners have to smoke sub rosa. as If they were still schoolboys. (.old lu K.iik oatka. Kamchatka may soon become as pjp ular a resort aa the Klondike, as gold has been discovered there In promlalng quantities. A woman w ith a coulug voice la In variably dUllkefl. Not Partlcalais Brown 1 hear Jones Is looking around for new quarters. Smith Oh, I guess he Isn't partlculsr a Ix hi t their new new. He borrow ed an old oue from me this tnorulug. New York World. IK DIs man aln' much ttf drlnkln'. but It lOOkl powful like he'd hah to git along to-night wif nothUt' but n cocktail. Very He iiiurkulilr. Qui un -That's a strange rate, DeFonte- What? Qulnn Why, Jonea hn a cold In hli head and he can't think about anything but Ice. A Safe Inference. Nodd We haven't much of a dinnet to night, but you're welcome. Todd How do you know whut you are going to have? Nod. I Well, we had roast lioef yea terday.- Puck. Ill i II U IN THE LND. Parrye They say she has given up holly Yes. She gOCI In for "worn t'arrye What nre they? ("holly Widowers. advocating ell's lefts." woman's rights.' Joy of Mnti-liunny. Wife I met an old acquaintance to day, Mr. Meeker. You rVmeobai he was your rival for my hand. Husband Yes; I hate that man. Wife You shouldn't hate him Juat be cause he used to love tne. Husband Oh, that Isn't tbe reaaon. I hate btm because he didn't marry you. Cunt Ion. "Do you think a prize fighter baa a right to call himself a gentleman?" "Er- there Isn't one within hearing. Is there?" Indianapolis Press. llnw It Hiiiieneil. "So she ran away w ith him?" "I think she did. From what I have seen of him I don't think he had gump tion enough to run nwny with her." Chicago Post. A I.csann In Arithmetic. .af"! Corrected by lluttnn. When tiic Chicago politician ad journed to his room In the Boston hotel be Immediately touched the electro! button. "Hoy." said he to the youth In uni form, "bring ma a pitcher of Ice water. Hustle:" "The word Is foreign to us, sir. Wo have none." "No Ice water?" "No, sir." "Well, whut lu thunder Is that pitcher for?" "I I water, sir. Would you try soma of It?" c-7 A. 5- j sm-j. ', Ellphalet Dncle Ephrlm, tf yo kin Bach fovv shirts onten three yahds, how many shirts kin yo' git from one yalnl? I'ticle Ephrlm Well, honey, bit de pends on whose yalnl yo'a lu. A Went her Prophet. siias Whiffle The Indication! is that this Is agoln' to be n hard winter. Drummer Are the muskrats putting In a supply of conl? Silas Whittle I don't know as tew that; but our county Jail Is fllliu' up with trumps. -Puck. A Trillnlilit Hchnol. Meeks gtone always speaks well of everybody. WiM-kn Merely a force of habit. Meeks How so? Weeks He's a marble cuttivr, and his Specialty Is cutting epitaphs on gruve- itonea, Cnaae for Worrr. "I'm alwivs Worried when Henry be gins saving string." "Why?" "It make me think he has been doing something extravagant In business." The Heaponalhlllty. Mr. Crumps The I.adlea' Journal Bsys s wouiuu should make herself as attractive to In-r husband after mar riage ua she did before. Mrs. Criminal Hub! My father al wnys gave OM plenty of money to make myself attractive with. You don't. Near York Weekly. . A Iks SB ei anil Pythlua Affulr. 'Talk about true friendship," said the man who Is Just getting over the grip; "there's Smith. I've known him for over thirty years, ami he's the onlv tier- son of my acquaintance who never sug- gestpu an unrnlllng remedy."-Philadelphia Record. Thijr Ii,, n't Auree. It would be a good deal easier to love our neighbor If his hobby were tint chickens aud ours were not flower beds. -Puck. looks l.nve'a Hlutiulitrr. "He's dead lu love with her." "Well, do you wonder'.' lha MlUnf.' Philadelphia Bulletin. He I ii, I n't Know Then. "Now, what ou earth did she menn by telling hlin she dearly loved rainy days? Surely she didn't want h,m tu think her sentimental?" "Oh, no! She knew well enough that sentiment Is out of data. She wanted him to get the Idea that her hair curled naturally." Promle Cheerfully (liven, Hamphat Traglcoo- i give my fare well parformanco to tight, win you come? Dong suffering friend Gladly. tlncomfortuhly I'.ipreaslve. Muggins Topuotes sings with a great deal of expneislon. Iliigglns I should say so. I once heard Mm slug "Rocked lu tbe Cradle of Ihe Deep." and It positively made me Sick.-Philadelphia Record. The I v - in gonaaouenca of having abused om sight by over application, or reading ol writing by gas or caudle light when our eyes ure weary, many of us have to adopt eyeglasses lit it coinpiiriitl vely early age. What should be done ut the first sign of fulling sight Is to consult au oculist ut Ollce, Eyes that are weak und become bloodshot under V e y little striiln should never be taxed s" verely by blin k nnd white work, w hether It be lu the form of needle work, pen and Ink, hooka or musical sight reading Whenever the eye feel tired, refresh tbein ut once by closing them for u few moments und letting them rest. As green Is the most rest ful color to the eye, let your lamp shade he green. The fines! tonic for the eyes Is cold wnter. Cold ten also makes an excellent bath for weak eyes. The "most delightful feature of a sleigh ride on a cold ulght Is the arrival at your destination. 4 r Home of the political complexions are not even skin deep. ,