WARQERV. ory I chsnced tn view biT garden s gay -uecaeu space, gown f purple Due. with all lOWtl'i erace. spun my urari m. .. mi tir "T rruse MaiJ lu violet! L. I. t.r VPS. W hose bill ..... ..nr.. sccincn il trace. i to woo! i. II..T ...... .Is nniBt fnoo: mit w . . lortn M MH sue , without days or grace, Ma. If Inviolate. 11 - BIGGEST PUPIL. i up ''- ffblrli Miss Mury UrowisUT m jgrnauvi un i unmj in,.,.,- k( stalwart form perched on Jot an easy chair. enters his eye brightens, ho in l dropping mm nro.iu unui ha the floor hi- rises. Tou wished to set' me? Miss Mary. (He eagerly his hand. She takes It in a IK iniinner.l Vou dOO't know ran iifrnld you wouldn't Flf Irs. nnd a beard, autl any mini lard knocks do change a man. why. you've scarcely altered Icle. Can't you gui-ss who It Is.' I You remind me something In etco In your smile reminds me bov I once knew. 'delightedly I'm the boy. Not not Jim Thrasher? eei... ........ i .i ... i hand Impulsively.) Sit down. It Is so kind of you to hunt I've thought nlsiut you many ii ii.' i to wnuncr v u . i m inn s lory gooti oi you, .uihs 1 n.iin.. iuiiunt'ti (uuu enr i,i,dt tint. 11 lVli.il n ir.iti'l I icuu i .11. i :ie nun you uud uny wlth me. Let me see. I 20 that last winter In the old II I 1 1 I : I S I T. IS 1 I 1 ' I'll lil ' ' I 1 In) (Mil III 1 1 . l bin tu whip. -Ah, but you never needed hiv nmn. in v I'ncournirt'mtMit. 1 1 .... . w li t I . 1 1 i I . I liot'u ilnnn those big boys from down the If It ' 'i, it. t 1 ,, . ii !.,r rtiiir atriifirr l Ik V M .VS , WS.SV1SS; 1 In rnn fr tit n m 1 mt lintr fAll ttll- l I I II s IIIIV 1 ("MIIII1 II) S ' H . ifltli rlink'it -m-t' KfiinL' ,..t t- it 1. 1 'i niiiMij kj mi". iiiii ' iit'd li) ill ii n . i ii . ' III! 1)11 II I V S hill i iT U'L'L'I'i Illl' bury the good that wu tu Die, ami rrom th.it moment l re- i in ii 1 1 1 ' i ii :i ii i ii n tferfoJ pleasure to feel that my .'. 11111, IIUDU I ltl'.l' ' l-lll something nbout yourself. -I't. ...... I.. ........ Ilttl., ... .All I'm Ult'tl lilt n ii ii I in i i ii 1 1 . i j ,,ii ..-ii. ml 1 had to return home and m aun tai ami alter a .ms. alone, and ufter he found a slt- ii. I 1 1 1 1 1 1 lit I :l lllllll III II fever to keep you lierel . V...... And ma I nsk Mow 1 support myself? I hnve Imctits. and I do some line sew- got alotiK very well only there VS llll' Iflir Ol hit M1C3S. uvt atiout yourseir. ine moment, i want to sav to lu Mar, mat 1 vi I ice n rrvlns you out for n lung time. I to the old neighborhood, asking in if. .'it'll ii ii I hi hiiiv llt'lt.' JOII lllttl .'.i''. 1 v. '"11' ill i awau you uowu nere u n iniiiu i " ' '.'' ' . . ''.I I, UlCIUI'll . well, he enme out to Montana, tor work, and I gave him a Juti. i lliid nnr.i I,,, 9i mm I., il.l That's how I came to be here. myself? Well, whatever I am. u that gave me the start. I fancy 1st nil. I I'. . ..'.. I n Imm. I,. enough Idle cash lying around 1 please. Vou understand I'm gratllicatlou there Is In It and i a personal gratllicatlou to blow I.' ii ii Hi1, '.,..,., I.., ,.u ir W " kVV..tt.lt.hl 1, . , i it- iiiji'l.' ni UlUM- you called my attention to llf- ui iit.v giau to near or your I knew you bad It In you. " ni,- . " J in; " ' f. " ' ui uoi vei tpuie sure wneiner a lirigui Mai lor lilt ur inn. .1 18 I. ii 'iiii r,, ndL- i-.i.i n - "l 4 1 uui iv . J u u - .n.iij. -a rnvor, Jim? V - mm . t. a great tavor. i -i warn our tilggest pupil again: "lI don't understand. ci i want to tie your oniy pupu. Jour ludp. They're talking of ine governor next fall, and I'll l"is of isilishiug up. Ob. It liard work, but you'll find me - I"H'. i "I don't know what you mean. (rising and coming cl.iseri I'll They say, you know, that a r. I (..... .. .ii. i.. i .. . And most well ordered boys get Hut this boy Is different. lie no. i. iri . . i.-. i. ' i uirr ii. i uui tent ner luu Dim the one Ideal of sweet- manhood through all his fifteen f hard knocks and growing Do you understand now? r. guide, friend, will you be that boy's wife? Mary (covering her face with bet hands) t)h, Jim. Jim. I'm so old! Jim nuking her hdl) XoMWttl And you are growing youuger every mluute. Kesldes. don't forget for a moment that I am two years your senior! Come, Mary; I need you. There Is a home waiting for you In the West, and comfort, and love. 1 don't ask you to love me yet. Perhaps 1 can teach you that. There, then.; don't cry. Surely there's nothing you leave behind worth these tears. Mary (rlslng)-Tbcy are tears of bap plncsk, Jim. Her head drops on his shoulder Cleveland rial n Healer. A PACINQ OSTRICH. A NIECE OF KRUOER. She Is Now In Thl. Country unit I. u He murkublx Will Hi.. I iilrl. Miss Satiule Kruger. a grandnleee of President Paul Kruger ami of his wife as well. Is uuw a resident of Philadel phia. She came from South Africa several years ago In company with her brother, who Is Interested In mines In Arlzotia. Miss Kruger's sympathies are strongly with the brave men who arc defending her native laud, hut she can see that they have no chance for ultimate success. Miss Kruger was educated lu Kurope and Is protlclent both as a musician and artist She says the popular Idea of the liners lu this country docs them Injustice. The burghers are not, as a class, she de clares, coarse, uneducated and brutal. Ou the farms no more attention Is paid to dress than by the agricultural por tion of any community. In the cities and tonus, however, the Hovr womeu jscksonTHtc Boasts u Bird tht Bacsa In Humes. The most unique ttsod ever attached to harness Is oilier V of Klorldn. s loo-pound, fall blooded Afrleaa oatrteh. Not only u.li the distinction of balBg the tlrst pacing ostrich ever kBOWn, but he cau get up a speed that would trouble the fastest uf horses. Hitched to a light carriage, drlveu by ' bis keeper and manager, the big poetBf ostrich may be seen .la ly in the road Dear Jacksonville and It Is doubtful if ever a more peculiar and Interesting sight was seen. Ills spe.d is simply re markable and nothing ou the road can pass or ereti hold him. He bai gone a mile In Isdl several times and once It Is said went lielow the two-minute mark. He has already won OOTI ral big tnat.'h races and also came out tlrst tu the most unique trial of iptsd ever per formed In this part of the country, a i on thougln rery tuueb about the rre-, iiuency of Ma calls or speculated as la their meaning. He was not the hvu tbOBi H' "as a piabt, n i: lot. tiuassum lng fOMBWdOWi lie was ordered to the PblllpplMO. and It Is sa d that win u he went aiv.iv he carried with htui Mis. 11:1.. u s half way pfoolaa mat WbtM bis ship came sailing home again ae uughl claim her for his bride. There were many weary but event, fill months btfofa that time came. Let tcrs crossed the sea and told of his busy life, his lopes, of his longing to get back to his native laud. Uui the secret was welt kept. No one g Housed th.it Hewey had left Ma heart btlilml. No one knew that a woman's prayers uud love WON cheering him In his he roic achievements. Not until the tlirn eaine fof Admiral Hewey to go to Washington to receive the Jeweled sword prcsttitcd to him by Congress did the tosslps DOgU to whisper. Mrs. Dewi-ycontessesto IS years, but PATHETIC CHINESE INCIDENT SUPPOSE WB SMILE, j -no you "rk""' enough to support two.' asked her father. "Two?" answered the young man QUlsMcalljri "I've only askisl for one a Mother's kttosapl to Ptspal tki RUad' n. ss of Bar Cktld. This Is what the fair Samaritan saw after she had climbed the dark slain b h ml Ibo tore nml peeped luto a room Unit was In st ml darkneMi, while sh npressetl l.ee filling with a warning tluger that enforced silence. It was a room of considerable dimensions, with a low ceillug. The windows were k.i ill placed, besides being barricaded that the room was lu twilight gloom alihougti the day was bright without Its furniture wua curiously disposed HUMORCUS PARAGRAPHS FROM "I HE COMIC PAPERS. ri. lrcldrnls tkmrrlns Ihr World Utir h UBgatfcal An i.tier fnt to Old or Yuuna Kanny Selec tions tbm kWorjrbodJ Will Hujoj. The Ross -See here. JlmmlOl I thought you told me your grundiuother wus dead When I let JfOU off jeu r close against the w alls, thus leaving I jaj 7 WHW space tu Its midst. Ami lu tn The OHIee Hoy Yes, sir; she Is dead: KOa the woman Su.y Yep was taklug ,,t,. ,,,,,, four ,.,. ,,, .,WM ,hc part with the llltle l.ee Moy lu 0l I phUllaa got laid out ylstlddy.-Phllu was evidently a dally occurrence. I delphla llulletln. With palms folded suppllantly U'fort su regarded l.ee Mov with a look A" Ar,u, of Inexpressible loTO Uagod with sad "Mv ,vlf'" na J'.Ht '""i J-7 . '? lie was hitting wildly HtH.ut him """" ","' " ",v"'' your wne tin any rancy worn; "Does she do fancy work!" roared I of your family. Who else are yon go ing tn ring In on me?" Philadelphia NOfUl American. Ill Captain. NOWtyWOd (after the ceremony! -Ho you rcallv think I shall make a good mate, darling? Mrs. Newlywed- Oh. you're all right. How do you like your captain?-Philadelphia Record. A vi in laslnwatlooh The Man lnn't you thluk that she's out of the common? The Muld-Ycs, anil not long out, elther.-Kansns City Independent. i in ii. 1. 11. lih a toy whip, ami shouting angrily his language being punctuated by strong Anglo Saxon expletives. "1 u jou. mother! Why cometb nol the sun?" She submitted with the patience ol an Oriental to the Imperious iMgVAgl of my lord, her Mtiu-Chlld. ' Oh. son of mine," she replied, with ,, ,e,.th In 11 month. Infinite tenderness; "the situ Is still all "How did It come out?" 11. Pack, "You ought to mm. her when I go home late from the lodge." Phil adelphia North American. Where 11 Pill I Counted. TbOM tWO deDntti have hud a con test to see which one extracted the ONTiY PACING OSTRICH IN Till: WOULD. race wtlh a bicycle aud n well known trotter. Oliver W. beat boll man aud horse In a one-mile sprint In tile re markably fast time of 2:11. miss sannik Kiirnan. dress as well and as much uttsntlon Is paid to the amenities of life as In other countries. Miss Kruger expects to re turn liefore long to South Africa and will Bpend the remainder of her life there. He II' turned in I'ursp, Miss H. was taking a railway Jour ney. A suave old gentleman sitting opposite to her presently bent forward aud said, with gentle reproof: "ExCUSe me, but do you think It wise, when there are so many thieves about, to carry your purse so conspicuously?" As he spoke, he xiintod to her purse, which wus projecting slightly from her pocket. Miss II.. considering the stranger rather olllclous, thrust the portemonnule dowu Into her pocket and thanked him with a stiff reserve. erhaps a trifle scornfully. At the next station the old gentleman got out As he did so. he turned to bis pretty vls-a-vls with n polite bow and the mischiev ous Indulgence of his yours. "Allow me to restore your purse. You see, It was nut so hnrd to lose as you supiKised!" So saylug, he held out to her the purse she had supposed was safely re IHisIng in her pocket Miss II. received It. coloring with childlike mortification, thanked him profusely, aud her old friend took bis lenve with a friendly smile. A few minutes later, when the official came round to collect tickets. Miss II. discovered her purse to be empty. Pigeons as a. Nnv.tl force. A uumbcr of pigeons are now official ly recognized by the Rrltlsh Admiralty and form part of the uuval force, States a writer lu the New Penny Mugiulue. Whale isiami ut Ports moutb is the headquarters of the homing pigeons belonging to the navy-the birthplace Df the birds supplied by other lofts at Hevonport, Multa and Hong Kong This particular feature of the Iloyul Naval Barracks was Introduced In 1801 at tiie Instigation of Capt Login. w ho was then the commanding Officer, ind has boon del eloped and bronchi to Its present state of efficiency by that gentleman's successor, Capt. Bayly. The cost of keeping the hlrds-aboiit 2 per mouth- was defrayed by the officers and men. The pigeons are used, of course, for the conveyance of messages, of which several thousand have been received since the establish ment of the loft. There Is electric com muulcutlou between the huge cote nml the buildings, so that when n bird en ters Its domicile it causes n hell to ring, ami so announces Its arrival. Many of the missives brought by the pigooni have boon of great Inioprtance, and have been telegraphed to the Admiral ty. Some of the birds, too, have dull excellent performances. The flight from Jersey has often DOM made In two hours; but the "ninrd." nt least for dlatance, Is from n ship off the Kddystoiie, 183 miles away u big "lly" that wus accompllahed in three uud u bulf hours. they dwell lightly upon her. She Is a woman of perfect manner. She baa enjulslte grace and really aristo cratic bearing. The years of expert cnoe she has had In VrVahlngtwU so ciety have brought her ODaqtutlad tact and culture, together with rure couver sattonal ability. There Is In her talk the very slightest suggestion of the for eigner. She Is as enthusiastic and talks as rapidly as a French woman. Thero are momenta when her gesticulations are even more elOOjUOnl than her words. She Is never at a loss to couvey her meaning. MRS. DEWEY. I'linilstsknlile Evidence. CIinrmlnK Pcntonullty of Hie WOSBU Wlio la Now tile Admiral's Wife. Admiral Dewey has known the wom an who recently became bis wife Blnce sbo was a chubby, roay-choeked girl, with two long brown braids of hair hanging down her back. Mildred Mc Laan was beautiful and Joyous. Life to her was roseate. She had never known n care. She was simply a merry. light-hearted gtrl. with Infinite jsissl- 1 bllltles. About this time she met Will- j lam BabCOCk Hnren, afterward briga dier general, who wns known as a sol dier and an author. He fell at once lu love with the charming girl. She lood li l'. Weapons. Here In Muscat I saw the pure bred Arab mall, sinewy but not lull, .1 dom ineering, swaggering nobleness lu his glance, ami a brace of daggers In his waist. When I recognized a Is'iiutlful haft or noticed a sh inier Inlaid native gun or singular shield. 1 offered to buy. Hut nothing could Induce them to sell. "Sahib." said one man, "I killed my deadliest foe with tills blade, right through his black heart! You see this dint tn my shield? Ah! that dint was caused by a Bicar. The shield saved my life; shall I. then, sol! It for B0B0 I My gun? No, sahib! I am au Arab, and my gun Is my other self. How could I be an Arab If 1 hud do gun? This sword It belonged to my grand father. It has killed forty men. lly Mohammed'. It Is true. These mnrks. satilli you see these marks -only oue of these marks Is put there when a man Is killed." I offered three times the value. The answer always was "No, sahlh. I will not; I cannot." Eyorybody, from the frolicsome boy or 8 to the tottering Imbecile of SO, curried a Weapon. Tho old men had rusty swords that reminded me of the un wieldly 1 double-bladed monsters that Richard Coeur do Lion and his knights swung In the face of the Barm-ens. These Muscat swords are four feet six Inches long, the blades three Inches wide, nnd the handles provide room for both fists to grasp. Law Is an un known quantity In eastern Arabia. Agulnaldo: "Why do you suspect he Is an American spy?" Filipino: "Hist! He has on a 'Un ion' suit!" A Journey of 850 Years. A well-known astronomer calculates thnt If an express train running sixty miles an hour day and night, without stopping, kept It up for 00O years, It would Just ubout complete the dlumeter of the circle mude by the enrth In Ita yearly Journey round the sun. Now let this Immense circle be represented by the lady's linger ring, nnd taking that as the standard of measurement the nearest fixed star would lie a rnllc distant, and Hie farthest visible through the telecope at least twenty miles. vn. 0K010B prwet. Age of the Yew Tree. It Is believed that the yew tree even exceeds the oak In age. In Kiiglutnl. Scotland and Ireland it is nothing un usual to And yew trees which, accord ing to authentic accounts, date from HWO A. I). Many of these trees are celebrated In history and legend. There Is an Immense yew tree In Wiltshire, Eng., with a hollow trunk capable of acconiinoduting a breakfast party. Slam ae Hnperstltlon. The Siamese have so strong a super stition ngaluat even numbers that they will have none of them. The number of rooms In a bouse, of windows or doors In a room, even of rungs on a ladder, must always be odd. It Is useless to ocuulre knowledge un less you have a little common sense with which to sesson It The people are more easily foolede ary year than the year before. him In return. They were married soon after and went to his post to live. Life lu an army post Is somewhat narrow. The years passed quietly for Mildred Baaon. Her marriage was very happy. A daughter was Isjrn to her anil died. Then there wus u Sou. and Mrs. Baaen lived In those early years for her husband and child. Her Ufa flowed smoothly on until tw.he yeurs ago, when her husband died. She was left a widow, still young, beautiful and rich. She went to live with her mother, Mrs. Washington afo- L'an- Again Mrs. Har.cn met Hewey. She wns older and sorrow-chastened now, but to blm she was a thousand times lovelier than the light hOOrtOd girl be bad formerly known. Mrs lliin n made a distinct place for herself In the gay life at Ibe capital. She soon became known as the most brilliant In Washington society. Her extraordinary conversational powers, her aptness st repartee and her ready wit caused her to be sought by the most prominent men In iK.lltlcal life. Through It all she retained the gentle, unassuming msnner that has made ber so especially lovable. Admiral Dowtf wss a frequent vlsltor-but so were many other distinguished people, so no oid Olory. One may pay anything from a cent to one hundred and fifty dollars, for a Mag of the United States. The cheap est tings nre stamped ou muslin with (he colors red and blue, and nre then tucked or pasted uimui sticks; they are not guaranteed to wash. Of this kind Is the llltle penny Hug which the small boy wears on the biH'l of his coat Sm h lings nre put through a printing press like calico skirts, and come out all colored st the rate of one hundred a minute. Anybody Is nt liberty to make United Btntes Hags. Thus It comes alsiut that all sorts of patterns of the national ensign are on the market and In use. Hut If any one desires to have the colors ss they ought to be, refer ence must lie made to the standard adopted by the army and navy. This standard, altered from time to time by the ndditlou of fresh stars, Is (reserved, and will continue to be kept by the secretaries of w ar and nnvy. The prop er design for the blue Held of Old QlolJf Is fixed and absolute; other arrange ments of the stars, which commonly an- distributed more or less higgledy piggledy, nre wrong. Chair and Desk. The height of the chair you alt In while writing and thai of the desk you write at nre mutters of some lmsir t.nnv. Kvery js'rson who writes habit ually ought to bavo a atoll specially made to suit his or her height, and the ! scat of the chair should be exactly one quarter of your height from the floor. TbUe, If you are six feet high, the chair seat should Ih' eighteen Inches. The w ill tli of the sent should exactly equal its height and It should slope Isick nard three quarters of an Inch to the foot The bsck should Is- a trifle higher than the sent ami sloped slightly, not t.si much. Finally, your desk should 1 is- two thirds ss high again as the seat of your chair. Thus. If your chair seut Is twenty-four Inches, the desk should I l forty Inches In height rThaa you have attended to all these little details you con sit Slid write all day without feeling that b.i' kiicl.c that cornea from choirs and desks that don't fit you. 1 in- Pope Itoouia. Of tho ratlcan'l 11,ssj rooms Pope Lao lias I Poor led for bis personal use only three 1 small parlor, a little din lug-room and a bedroom. A bridegroom can get a good deal of credit for helping his wife with the I housework, by going out once or twice s week, and upsetting a few things In the kitchen. Women have the tuost to wesr, but ui. u have the most to eaL Pfklu, drying his hair for he hath hul now risen from his 00000 bed. Whec lie bath had his morning meat, ami washed his face with dew and decked himself with marigolds, he will mount loads of purple sml gold aud ambei and come to San Francisco." "Ho they of Pekln see more of hits than we do?" 'Yes. BOO Oh, would we were there!" she sobbed; "for the sun slwuys shluei there, but here It b mostly dark." ' l a will go there, mother, nt once!" He held up bis hand for his mother to take. ilut It Is a long and stony road fron- here to Pekln, and we must cut ami drink before we start" She led blm to a little table, and so' cakes before him. and a cup of lea - which she fortified with a generoili draught of snm shu. When he had satisfied his appctltt she prepared him another cup similarly sophisticated and set It before blm. "Drink once more," she said, "for when we have left Sun Francisco we shall have 110 more tchah (tea) till w reach Pekln." And the little man drank as he was directed, ami prepared for his dally flight across tho world. -LIpplucott'f Mugnxlne. ROQUEFORT CHEESE. The Toottmonie it, 1 , llua lieen Known Hlnce I'lln x' Time. RiMii'fort cheese Is of very ancient tinea gO) ami lilny mentions It In his writings. Few epicures who linger over the subtle llnvor of this solidified mixture of gout ami sheep milk know the number of details which have to Is? ohttt-rvisl liefore the toothsome mor sel is rcntiy ror tne la tile. The core ucccsiinry throughout every stage Is shown even In the milking of the ihoep mid gouts. This Is done In the evening after their return from pas tures. Rut In order that the anlinuB shall not be In the least heated or ex ited, they are allowed to rest for un hour before the milking Is begun. Af ter bt-lng beutisl uliimst to Isilllng (Milnt the evening's milk Is set aside lu tho morning It Is sklmiiusl, healed to IW degrees and mined with the morning's milk for coagulation. The end is well kneaded with the banda and prctwisl In layers luto molds with perforated bottoms, a thin layer of moldy bread Is put between each layer jf curd. This bread, which hustens the "iisnlng" of the cheese by sup plying the germs of Uie characteristic given mold, Is made liefore the preced ing Christmas of about equal purls of lUmtnOf and winter barley, with plen ty of sour dough nnd some vinegar. When moldy enough It Is ground and dflcd, moistened with water and kept from the nlr until used In making the SbeOOO. The curd remains In the abas ing receptacles for throe or four days, Hid Is then taken to the market In BoqOefOTt, where It Is sold to the dif ferent makers of RiMjuefort cheese. It s they who undertake the critical "rip iilng" of the cheem-, which Is placed In tiie very dump caves alsmndlng tn the precipitous walls of the limestone mills which surround the village. Dur ing the mouth or more that the cheese ire left In the caves they are niblied with salt and hrlue. and are pricked frisiiently with long needles to allow Uie salt to penetrate Into them, and also to accelerate the process of ma turing. When this has rcuchisl a cer tain stage the chiiwc Is ready for ship ment. St. Iiouls (ilohcncmoTat. Twentieth (eniurjr Fabrics, There are signs thst In the twentieth century the humble spider, whose crea tive tuleiits have long Ih-cu wasted lu spinning endless trups to cutch miser able little files, will lie promoted to S higher sphere of usefulness, according to a writer lu Cussell's Magazine. He seems predestined tu furnish the love lier part of Immunity with her most choice apparel, although the skeptical might fancy that a dress of cobweb, boWOTOf sultuble to fairies, would Scarcely puss muster In the city of London, Adopted by muu and relieved from the necessity of earning a pre carious livelihood by exis-dli-iib) of doubtful morality, the spider Is cspv Ma of much. Already the French mili tary hulloonlsts uie Inc. ding and tam ing spiders to yield llla-rs for their bal loon cords. Alsiut a dozen tume spi ders furnish tin- flls-rs to make a thread. The spiders are placed tu a machine sml the IIImt Is druwu out automatically a certain length at a time. These (lls-rs are pink in color, and nfter Ising washed to remove the sticky matter on them sre united In a thread. Slid them- threads lire spun Into colds for the balloons, which for their weight are much stronger than silk. Scleral s-ies of the Insect are adapt ed for this doinestleutlon. but the most promising Is the "Hulabu," or silk spi der, of Madagascar. A womsn knows uf no more effectual way of showing ber anger at kin than by fsillng to call and see the kin's new baby before It Is a month old. Some men bare so many diamonds that they sre made mleerable In gusrd lug them. The silent man tuny be a mine cf wisdom, but a talkative fool aomstlmee explode) the wine. "oh, it was a draw."' Philadelphia Bulletin. Proof of ( rent new. alia tab Smlff Hat Aggetnuldo am a womluliful mnu! Mlstah Mose Indeed beam! I can't fo de life ob me see how- dat iilgguh gits his wool to stau' up isiiupadour. Kansas city Independent, Ills Idea. i A 1 V5 1 Indignant Young BoOJOwlfa- O. Mr. I bibbs. 1 am sorry to say you Cheated ! me over that Ice you sent me yesterday i morning. You said it weighed six pounds. Well, I had It Weighed last night before dinner, and It was barely three pounds. - MiMinshlne. No Kt'ononiy. "It will cost yog i,H snld the Jewel er, Inspecting the works of the time piece through his eyeglasses, "to put this watch lu thorough repair." "Hand It Imck," haughtily replb-1 the young HUM on the outside of the counter. "I can get s new oue for OS cents."- Chicago Tribune. "What's your Idea of supremo pun ishment, Weary?" Weary Wallace-Workln' In a sosp factory. Change of Aiipeuranre. 'Isn't he stuck up? Why, he doesn't recognize the gllis now thnt he was so thick with at the shore last summer." 'No wonder. Those same girls look quite civilised now." -Philadelphia llulletln. Not What She Maant. "So vou have given up your music since you got married, Mrs. Msngo?" Oh. vis; I seem to have forgotten all 1 ever knew nlsjut linnuouy." Phil adelphia Bulletin. Killhtly Culled. "Isn't her new gown stunning?" "Yes; her husband must have been stunned when bo got the bill." Pbiiu dolphin llulletln. Merely HouiiiW-d the Alarm. "He Is a brave man," sultl one Paris tali citizen us the persouuge who fights duels lu the newspapers passed. "A rery brave mini." answered the other. "I have known him to call out a dosen men In oue day!" "Impossible!" "Yes. They were BMBlbtM of the Ore department!" Washington Suir. tine Mnn'a Thaorj, Mrs. Wedcrly Men talk alsiut the Joys of single blessedness, but statis tics show that more bachelors tbeu married men commit suicide. Mr. Singleton Yes, that's true. Mrs. Wedorly Oh, you admit It, do you? Then, I suppose, you can ex plain why It Is true. Mr. Singleton Certainly. They sre driven to desperation by other people's babies. Misunderstood, liff Bhe - Yon s.ild before we were mar ried Hint your Income was tA.OOO net. He You wrong me. my dear. I suld 16,000 nit. Poor Consolation. "Stone wulls do not a prison make," quoted the prison visitor, "Mnybo not," said the convict, "but they make It darned hard fer a feller to get out." -New York Journal. Action and Reucllon, "Daughters are a great anxiety." "How so, Mrs. Nooch?" "If you don't dress them handsome ly they ore not attractive; and If you do dress them handsomely men axe afraid to marry them." Not Ki lined. "Mrs. Sparks, flMb Sam hub gone to sail on a warship." "Hat so. Mrs. White? Well, Ab guess he's what dey call a 'tsr.' " "No; he slu t bin ou de boat long enuf to lie a tar yet." "Huh! Hen Ah guess be must be a common turpentine." How Things Work. "New shoes make old ones last bet ter." "Wbst do you mean?" "When you kmrw you hsve a new pslr in your rluaet you feel Ilka wear ing the old ones a while longer." Tha Might Word. Mrs. Wlckwlre Our washerwoman alwsys tslks about "wrenching' the ekKbee. Instead of rinsing them. Mr. Wick w in- Mayls- she says what She means. She has wrenched all the buttonholes out of half my shirts. In dbuiairolla Journal HI Hutlafaetnry llsaminallnn. "1 am told," snld Hlunche to Kilni. "(hut the doctor has been examining your eyes." "Yen." "What was the result?" "He seemed to be perfectly satisfied. He said ho always did prefer blue eyes." New York World. Strnteay. flBIBlB TlB cau't have another ap ple now; so run off and play. Ostend -We can't play without the apple, mamma. Mamma- Why not? Ostend -Because we're going to play 'William Tell' ami I w ant to shoot tho apple from Belle's bead. lioand to Iluvo Their War. The Klondike Miner (as the era Inn. in. swinqm him away) Ourn them Canadians! They'ro hound to have their way about this boundary line. More On I "nrown," said the partner of the corner office, "you put that notice on the wall, 'No Iionflng,' and there aro now actually live men lounging direct ly under It. lo out and tell them to move on." "No," responded nrown, by the way of a Joke, "I won't do It They are beneath my notice." they With t..oi.l Din. Mack O'Uell-DId you know make watches of gun metal? Luke Warms Certainly! But I think It would be a better plan to have alarm clocks mads of It. Mack o'K.il why so? Luke Warme Because then there would be no difficulty In getting them to go off. Ilrlefly Daflnad. "Define dlrorcee." "It's the Interlude to rag-time matri mony." A Dob Shad. Ida Maud Donlah Is going to cut all the fur trimming from her skirt May Is It moth-eaten? Ida No, Indeed; But ber French poodle shed all bis fur and Msud sins shoil hsve to get rid of hers to har monise the effect when he trots by her side. Cuptd In a iinir. "Our engagement Is off again." "What's 1 in- matter uow?" "1 gave her a belt buckle with my photograph on It, and she uses It to fasten her dog's collar." I mo 1 11- Funds of Animals. Nearly all of the animals that ston sway food for a time of famine live oi vegetable substances In a concentrate!! form, whether It lie beans or grain hoarded by the hamster, or nuts urn! bard fruits by the squirrel, nuthatct uud possibly some of the Juys. Bui there Is oils vegetuble-eutlng anlinu. whose food Is neither concentrated not easy to move. The beaver lives during the winter on the bark of trees. As II Is not safe, and Is often Impossible, for the unlnial tu leave the winter when the Ice has formed. It stores thest branches under water, cutting tbeni Into lengths, dragging them below the sur face, and fixing them down to the bot tom with stones and mud. This It more difficult work then gathering bay. Nlr Arthur Hulllran. larssitor. sir Arthur Hulllran bss corns out li a new guise; be bss Invented an appll ance for attaching to carriages, by which hs claims that safety la obtalnot for ths occupants of a rehlclo In cast the horses run away. The vehicle Is at constructed that the occupsnt, by touching a spring, can release tin shafts, thus leaving the horse to go 01 aluae. st. A. P.