Ce WILLIE GOES TOSCHOOU 'llll niM to school the dJS 1 - ... 0 ll l"" " 1 t,...t : i T T 1 WMVH hi n - r nr.. . . . i . i tmlli are UttMN "P "SOT . i.i .. U inul Ions mm imp. llu i" -, - marbles w "i"n "ie uuur . , are we happier than before? h. IWi F ' ' n-ipi. e-oca to school the ctt ..... no startling Kimua nisi ii ,i... n..iLfhtMirH look. Ull ' ' plaything a P wa. book bwMV noon . i r.itiud a bair to-dar. i .7" . glistening uuil gmy, Z.. hi.l itself Pcrore. i Willi' f04" to "1ioo1 I hoar pouuJla on the stuirs. 1 t .."...I In In, In miv il.-nr . . i ..rsi-s of tbi' chairs: mmm - - .l I may be a foul -aJ the mn inai sireas my luce. . t I .. I . .. I .. . lOBTSffU iiuv-s-i bi-i n.u. His Own Confidential Man ..,. III. 1. 1 - kftkaa lll'.l mn .eij nac, una i.n ii i nud daughter. Uxxle wns lila vouncest. ami nlthough abe bad L.-I .1 Ik. .. nf IS Rhp WM atlll The Judge placed Bit band tenderly the little eiirly head. "Where lias I hi i hfivf Ikm-11 up to tin- hall talk- i.i .1. . i, ....... I . . .i .. ir ntnl veiiintiir. J null tut- ii--"- - - I"- na t lironirti tin; great rooms, and. ob. m - " l. 1 , i ...I- urn Inf.. tlm linnii. fill conservatory, ami i WW sucu ivi-lv. flaming passion flowers, nud in. irrent. oreaniv. magnolia blossoms. lovely things." She was suddenly stooped by seeing ... .1lll.it Mil 11 II I II in 111 1 Tl I 17 III I 1 III' I - m . .1 ww ...... n. sine or tiif roiui. "Mr. Hay. I believe?" f The Judpt bowed. "Agent for Uie 8t. Leon place?" Yea, dir." "I came to see you In regard to It, and " "And Mn nre Mr. St. Leon's confi dential clerk. Mr. Hartley! I believe I received a letter from blra to-day In forming me that you would arrive this week. Yes, yea; come right up to the house and we will talk over the re pairs. Shall we begin them Immedi ately r "Papa, you don't mean to any you bnve brought blm home a confidential clerk? You know there nre the best rooms to be papered and cleaned, and our pink dresses to be made, agnlust Herbert St. Leon's arrival. Well, I shall see that he Is put In the little room over the kitchen. He will never know the difference." and Blanche sank back In a studied attitude on the sofa, wondering If handsome Bert St. "I WISH TO SKI TOf n MASTER, TOUSO MAS." Leon would fancy her lovely pink morning dress that she had made for his special beiieflt. The door of the dining room was ajar, and Mr. Hnrtley, standing before the tire In the little parlor, bad nearu It all. "Mr. Confidential Clerk, you are cry ing," and Llzxle pushed the white kit ten from her lan and came over to his side. "I am sorry you heard them, but never mind. I'll be your friend." "Your friendship Is very dear to me, my little girl." "I'm not a little girl! I was 18 last week." " Pardon me. young lady; but can you tell me something of the hall? What sort of a place Is It?" "Lizzie. Lizzie! you are talking far more than Is necessary. Go to your French Immediately!" A month had passed by. Mr. Hnrt ley had exchanged bis close apart ments over the kitchen for more com modious ones at the village Inn. whence he calmly superintended the projected Improvements at the hall, and all the gossip exchanged between himself and Llzale was In the course of her rambles through the St. Leon woods. And now Mr. Hartley sat In the same little parlor where Lizzie bad first vowed to be hi friend and awaited the appearance of the Judge. "You wish to see me. Mr. Hartley?" "Yes, sir. I came to ask you for the hand of your daughter-your little Llzxle. 1 love her more than my life. Judge Boy." "You cannot have her! No, sir. I look for something higher for my daugbter than a confidential clerk. If that Is all, I bid yon good evening." Next night the Judge rode slowly home to dinner, feeling a presentiment of evil. "Where la Llutle?" he Inquired of Blanche, as Ik entered the cozy din ing room. , "In her room. I suppose, mounting after her dear clerk." "Well, call her to dinner, child." Blanche went, but returned Immedi ately with a pale, frightened face. "She Is not there, pap, but this note lay on her table." The Judge broke the seal and read, with (ace that had grown suddenly "Is lb Urn that you read these words, dearest papa, your little I. te to the present generation as having ...III l ... iMthitla I ul.ill I... ' . i I . "in "wnii W in. in. en Ln-eii ui one nine or atuitner the olijeet to Mr. Hartley. I hope It is not wrouu. of hi Infatuation althnnrh I,. In.i . .. for Indeed I do love him very Panel." I both to the prince i ml to the ladies As he folded the note with stern fea- I DWMtOBfd. It should In- stated that the tures a light step crossed the thresh- I relations of the prime to tbtn wire old. and Lizzie's arms were around his purely platonle. Dock I the iiiiitldeutliil clerk standing at the door with a face where pride and Indomitable resolution struggled for the mastery. "Papa, forgive us!" "I'll see you hanged first!" roared the old gentleman. "Beguile, both of you! Beg. starve, but never come to me for assistance!" "Oh, papa," pleaded Lizzie, "1 want to explain." "I won't hear you." "Be It so," suld the clerk; "come, lit tle wife, we have each other left, you know." nnd they went from the house. Blanche was Just coming out of hys terlcs when there came a ring at the bell, and a gentleman bearing a foreign-looking carpet bag was ushered In. "Is this Mr. RayT The Judge bowed. "Is Mr. St. Leon here?" "Mr. St. Leon, sir, is in Paranham. Brazil." "I think you are mistaken, air, as I have bOM Informed he Is at this mo ment In his native village." "Herbert 8t Ieon at home and not end word to me, bis ngent? I must go to the hall Immediately." J ut now the woman who monopo lizes the greatest share of the prliu-es attention Is Mrs. Qoorgo Keppel, one of the most lieautlful of the younger matrons In the society world. Mrs. Ktppol COIttM from one of the old aris tocratic families of England, being s daughter of Sir QtOTgO Kdimnistune. who died a few years ago. The gos sips of society My that the long-suffering Prltn css of Wales has beeu driven to desperation by the conduct of her btttbUd with Mrs. Keppel. Naturally, society divides Itself Into two eniu. one for the prince and the other for the princess. The first says that the prim e is u much-abused man, deiiares that his wife Is unreasonable, and hints t tin t she Is "eccentric." If not In sane, the friends of the princess re tort that whatever might have been the exeujiis for the conduct of the prince In former years, they should not apply now. In his young days n dtsjnv sltlon to sow wild oats was perfectly comprehensible, but those days are long since passed, and the follies of youth cannot Ik condoned In the uuin of AN and the grandfather. The situation Is a delicate and a momentous one. The great mass of the British people sympathize deeply LIVES WORTH MONEY. CROWNED HEADS WHO ARE IN SUHtO FOR MILLIONS. The rrlnrr of T utra Carries Pol Ir Ira li ..n.iks".iw', His Death Would BosMft Many Parsons OMoMo of UU Own family. ENGLAND'S ROYAL SCANDAL. MRS. JAMES BROWS-POTTEB. MHS. LANOTKY. COUNTESS OF WARWICK. M IIS. OEOROE KBPPKU The lights glimmered brightly from the gothlc windows of the hall and winked defiance at the blustering storm without as the Judge rang the bell at the great front door. "Mr. St. Leon has he arrived?" The servant bowed and ushered him Into a room whose superbly arranged furniture struck Mr. Ray with an In definite idea of luxury. Lizzie was standing by a tall nln baster vase, that stood In the tiny win dow, arranging the tropic vines that curled around Its standard, and the light from the colored lamps shone down on the curly bead so dear to the Judge's heart. The confidential clerk stood near. "I wish to see your master, young man." "I am at your service, sir." "You are! Who the mischief cares whether you are or not? I wish to see Mr. St. Leon." "Herbert St Ieon Is my name, sir." "You? Well, I thought you were the confidential clerk!" "I never told you I was. You took that for granted. Aa the confidential clerk 1 wooed and won your daughter. As Herbert St. Leon I could have gain ed no greater treasure." New York Dally News. Ktraoge to Him. Mr. Evans, an artist, had recently re turned from Jamaica West Indies nnd had In his New York studio some paintings of Jamalcn scenery. So says the Cleveland Leader. One day a man who had been look ing through the studio stopped before a certain picture and asked: "What does this represent?" "That." said Mr. Evans, "U a scene In Jamaica." "Jamaica?" echoed the visitor. "That's strange. I don't remomlnT ever seeing anything like that In Ja maica." "You have leen there, then, have your' the artist Inuulred. "Oh, yes! I live there." "Well, you surely must be acquaint ed with this place, then. It Is a street scene In the principal town of the Isl and." The man from Jamaica looked at Mr. Evans for a moment as If be thought he must be daft. Then he said: "I live In Jamaica, and there Isn't a street in the town that bears the re motest resemblance to that picture." The mention of Jamaica as a town cleared away the mist. T see," said Mr. Evans, "you live In Jamaica, Ixng Island, don't you?" "Yes," replied the suburbanite. "Is there another Jamaica anywhere?" PRINCE AND PRINCtSS OF WALES Art Living Apart and a Grave Royal hcandal I Impending. Just now English society Is discuss ing no less grave a subject thnn the possible separation of the Prince and Princess of Wales. For months past the princess has been the guest of her family la Denmark, and her stay ap parently shows no signs of coming to an end. Some believe that an actual separation f the royal couple Is al ready in effect, while others think that the formal separation baa not yet tak en place. Ail believe, however, that a grave royal scandal is impending. Of course, tbere Is a woman In the case. This Is not a new Incident In the prince's life, as the world at large Is well aware, there hgvlng never been a time since the arrival of the prince at the age of discretion that be has not been dangling after some woman. The names of Mrs. Lsngtry, Mrs. Oornwal Us West. Mrs. James Brown Potter snd Lady Brooke now the Countess of Warwlck-nra amoa Uwto familiar with the princess, whose nmlnble na ture nud upright Htid Chrlstlau chnrafr ter has made her lielovod of all classes. The Queen Is deeply exercised over the matter, and It Is said she severely censured her sou for his conduct, with out, however, producing any change In his habits. Before the Princess of Wales left England for Coi'tihngen she spent three hours with the Queeu nt Osbomo. nnd there detailed her grievances nnd the motives that !m pellod her to the course she had decid ed upon. The prince naturally desired to avoid a formal separation, knowing well the storm of denunciation that would shower uxn him from every quarter a storm that might actually prevent his ever ascending tbe throne. Hence every effort Is being made to prevent this, but It Is undeniable that the deepest uneasiness Is felt In offi cial circles over the outcome. NEW IDEAS OF INSURANCE. rone Day Font One Will Organize a Company Like Mi u. The Insurance solicitor sat In his of fice in the Itookery, and he was almsh ed. It takes a great deal to abash an Insurance solicitor, but the big man In tbe opiioslte chair has Ixhii venting his views. The solicitor hail been chasing him for six months for a $10,000 policy, and bbOO, nfter he liiid run his Intended victim Into the home ofilce, the doctors had iuni.il him down. "Told me my liver was out of order," said the big man. Indignantly. "Said I hail a murmur In my lungs, and talked nliout a sister who dksl thirty years ago and a lot more rot Hke that" "Ail of which was no doubt true," sold the Insurance man, "but," seeing that the big man wns going to flare up again, "you need not get alarmed ulwut your health. Some of these days, wb-n I can't make more than $0,000 a year at this business, I'm going to stnrt bji Insurance company iii new Ihn-s. I will take all the men that have been re jected by the other companies." "That would be taking big risks wouldn't It?" "I don't think so. In the first place 1 would charge an extra premium. Then I would lank on human nature. Haven't you noticed that these big, strong fellows, who "never hnd-a-dny's-tckiwris-ln-my-Hfe,' go off like a child at the first serious Illness? Scored to death, may tie. AJiyhow, If you wnnt to see tenacity of life, Just Btudy the case of a man In chronic poor h.-alth. He takes no chances, guards himself against changes of the weather, applies remedies instantly, ami Lbs result Is that, while be never enjoys good beulth, he prolongs his life twice as long as the healthy fellow who takes all ktnds of chances. Insurance examiners must report on the physical condltUm only, ami can't make allowances for human nature, but It's there." Chicago Times-Herald. A big Insurance man told me recently In New Uirk that tbe Prince of Wales was the heaviest risk of any patron of the UttTttlWMt hualuess. and that his death WOUld COOt Eugllsh. Cermun. French and American companies uot less than $10,u.K.000. "No other person carries 20 per cent, of that Insurance." he said, "but com paratively little of It la, for the liencflt of his family; perhaps Hot more than 11(000,000. Some years? ago larce pull lies were taken out by bis creditor! ns OCUrltJ fur money loaned. If he should Tor pay his debts they would of course revert tu him, nnd might he carried for the btnsflt of his family, but bis pre miums, like the premiums on all of the royal families of BnrOpOi are very high -much higher than those paid by pri vate Individuals for the same amount of Insurance." "It la a curious fact" continued my Insurance friend, who spends a cok1 leal of his time In England, "that $2.- IKSMSHI or $a.uc0.ii(Ki of Insurance, per baps more than thnt. has been placed on tne uie or the prince or Wales as n ipoenlattoa by ponotu who do not know him and have never bad any re lations with him whatever. This would not be possible under the Insurance laws of the United States, but It Is al lowed by some of tho English com pa nles. Over there any man can secure a pulley On the life of n neighbor, pro vhled he can persuade the nelghlior to inbuilt to a medical examination or find a company which has recently had him examined. Thus when the Prince .if Wales nndnrgOM an examlnatlou for Insurance lots of speculators npply to the same company for policies on his life, or get certified copies of the re port of the medical examiner and use them with other companies. It Is a pure speculation. They pay a high pre mium, a margin, so to speak, or, to put It In another way, they hook a wager with the Insurance companies that the Prince will die before the total of their premiums exceeds the amount of the policy. Therefore, many persons would lie financially benefited If Altiert Eil ward should drop off suddenly one of these fine days. The Prince Is per fectly aware of this fact He knows very well whnt advantages have Wo taken of his situation, but I do not sup pose It makes any difference with bis bnblts." Vrc kings generally Insured?" I nsk- ed. "Yes. most of them, but they are not regarded as a good risk, and companies that carry the poUdM do not advertise the fact any more than necessary. It Injures rather than benefits them. The late Emperor Frederick, father of the jirosent Kaiser, carried nearly $Ti,(K).- 000 of insurance, wnicn is atiout oil the money bis widow has to live on, for her pension from the German govern ment Is small. Frederick was consid ered a first-class risk, lie was a man of robust health, splendid stature, with the training and frugal habits of a sol dler. and was an athlete; but all at once a cancer was discovered, which he doubtless Inherited from his grand mother, the beautiful (Juccn Louisa, and he failed rapidly. Tho present Kaiser Is not considered a good risk. This Is quite as much because of his constitutional defects as for political considerations, but for obvious reasons no company would decline an applica tion from him for Insurance." "I understand the Queen of Spain is heavily Insured?" "Y'es, thnt Is supposed to tie the case, although little Is known nlsiut It and tbe prevailing Impression Is that most of her policies nre In American compa nies, which have agencies In Madrid. Alfonso JUL, her husband, was Insured In several French and English emnpa nles-sotne say to the extent of $5, 000,000, but I do not know the exact amount" W. E. Curtis. In Chicago Record. to tie uaed on the tramways. Almost ui) week, a long freight train filled with American horses leaves the Iter liner Bahnhof for various parts of tier many. In spite of expensive freight and a tariff of $7 per bea L the Ameri cans have built up a very reiectubh competition In the German market Chinese History la Ane:et. The authentic history and blograph) of China is dualities the ohlest In th world, even antedating that of the Jews. Those familiar with Ms chronol ogy state that It embraces a period from the year UI 0! our era liflck to the remote period of . .'. . )ears tK ture Christ The historians of China em braiv a sticxvastun of uninterrupted s. rle of more than 2.400 years. Th full and continuous history of the em plre was compiled In the second cen tury of our era. The great libraries of Pekln contain volumes of tmoks BUWbfMd by the hundreds of thousands. In the archives of tbe government are still to tie found the ancient predictions ef eclipses mads with great aocurtioy, together with works on astronomy which show a fait knowledge of that interesting science. Biographers, very succinctly written, of the emiierors of the most sinient dynast les still exist, and written works of lenrned men are as voluminous in those of Kurcican nations. And all Oil learning and love of learning lias been in-quired without help or suggestion from any foreign people. If their au thentic histories reach Imck to MMt five centuries sgo mythical history reaches still further back Into the very night of time. When Nineveh and Babylon were In the splendor of their might nun In China were predicting' ScttpOM, making catalogues and giving names to the stars. But Nineveh and Babylon were mere mounds of earth and rubbish when China was great, and to this date the clvHlr.atUui and life of DM empln Is the wonder of the world. SUPPOSE WE SMILE. HUMOROUS PARAGRAPHS FROM THE COMlU PAPERS. Naturally Chsngi-d. Mrs. New wed I can't umlerwtand It, momma, but Harry is an altogether different man since we were married. Mamma- My dear child, I should be olarniisl if be were not. A man who re mained the same after marriage as he was during courtship would tie an anomaly. Really, I should fear there was something wrong in his Intellect Biaatos Transwrl.pt. i of fiplrepMcs. In Bielefeld, Germany, there is a col ony of epileptics, numbering about 1 500. Tbe colony was established In Itm. and patients from all parts of the world go there for treatment (Joe-half tbe defeats could be turnod into victoria by stttk "ffort. Distinction In I'mbrrllss. It Is no new thing to hear that China was ahead of the rest of the world In Invention. Even the umbrella owes Its existence, we are told, to the genius of the Chinese or Japanese. It Is said to have been copied from a shade-giving tree, nnd nt first received the same veneration accorded to tho tree of which It was a copy. Great dignitaries were allowed to ap pear In public seated under umbrella canopies, and Inter these canopies were made portable, until a regular series of court regulations for the carriage of umbrellas lieonme necessary. By the umbrella a Chinese gentleman Is al lowed to carry, one who Is Initiated can bil his rank. The common people may use an umbrella If It Is not made of cloth or silk, but only of paper. If In China one sees a procession headed by two enormous silk umbrel las, he may be assnrtsl that a governor general of a province or a military offi cer of the first rank Is coming behind them. The grnndeur of a royal procession or religious demonstration Is denoted by the auznbtr of umbrellas which are carried. It Is said that formerly, when the emperor went hunting, be had to be preceded by twenty-four umbrellas. It hardly seems as If tbe hunt could have tssn very successful. Ainerlcsn Horses. Importations from America have cnused tie- horse raisers of Holstelu to suffer much of late. A stock company has been formed In Berlin for the ex press purpose of Importing horses from the Dotted States. Tbe Americans have succeeded In breeding a horse which compares very favorably In every way with the Holstelu animal, especially In those points so highly prl7.ed In a work horse, namely, broad hips and large build generally. The iM-mt MftMti tot Holstelu horses has always Vs-en the provinces of Haxouy, Tuurluglo and Brunswick. The de mand Is created by the large sugar fac torles. This msrket boa been decreos Ing of Iste. owing to American horses lslng purchased In Berlin. A few days sgo. this Berlin company shipped a drove of eighty through Hamburg en rout tor Milan, Italy, where they sr. Pleasant Inclitruta Occurring tba World O'er Haylugathat Ar Cktar fui to Old or Young Vunny nalsc tloua Ikat everybody Will Kujoy. "Oh. George," w alUsl the maiden, as be met him In the darkened hallway, "we can't Ik' married to-morrow! It Will have to t postponed!" -What Is the matter, darling?" said George, his knees trembling under him. "Is any relative dead? Has your Thole lllraui failed In Imslwss?" ' U worse than that!" she sobbed. "There Is a b-b-boll coming on the end of my nose!"-Chicago Tribune. A Thmighlfnl llnatinmt. "Y'oti nskisl me to bring you MMM pin money this morning," said the young hatband. "Yes," she replied, with an otr of ex pectancy. "Well." said he, "I thought I might as well save you a trip downtown, so I brought you a paior of plus Instead. Chicago Tribune. A Mark of Hnperlorlty. "Wherein docs man differ from the lower animals." asked the professor. Ami the youth answered, without hesi tation: "He can ride a bicycle." Washing ton Star. Minns Untlare and Pounds, "Our friend, the meat man, doesn't look as pnwqicrous ns he did." "No; he says that during the bat went tier he lost lots of flesh."- l'hlla dclphia Bulletin. . Her Correction. 1 Arrnslng I'onsclea, i "I suppose, doctor, you have often put an Incurable patient out of bis mis ery, have you not?" "That question, sir, I consider an In sult." "Why do you Jump to tho conclusion that I asked if you had ever killed a path tit? Whnt I waul to know Is whether or not you give oplatea." And There Are Others, Hlx There Is one thing I could never understand alsjut these political glee) dubs. Dlx Ami what Is that? Hlx- W here the glee comes In, Sweet Heyengr. Mrs. Greene How came you to rec ommend thnt girl you had to Mrs. Gray? You know you said you actual ly tinted the girl. Mrs. Brown Yes; but I don't hat her ns much ns I do Mrs. Gray. Bos ton Transcript Carrrylng Out Instructions. A railway will be built up the Rax Alp. which Is tUOO feet high. Some authorities hold to (lie Idea that a chlid s disposition IS largely piveriwo by his diet, citing the gentleness of the rlce-entlng races against the quarreling nient-eatlng children as proof. The figures given In the Iondon Goal and Inm Trades Review show that ol the world's pig Iron product of 180 "Nty l'r cent, was i-otiverted Into gtsysl In 1W18 only 4 ier cent, of the wurld'i pig Iron product wns applied to the manufacture of steel. Verraxnno. au Italian navigator, It said by Swis'tser, In his White Menu tain Guide, to have btH the first Euro iean to sH-ak of having seen the White Mountains. Cruising along Uie coast northeast from the present site of Portsmouth hi the year Ki24, be saw "high mouutaliis within the land." They apicarcd on maps published as early as lfi'-S). MciiiImts of the engineering corps of the United Ntnte nruiy have cleared the I'nslg River of a number of stone laden canoes which were sunk to close the channel, 'ilie total value of the pnqierty recovered by the engineers Is jourlm) estimated at j.tsi.issi. .naps ami uqsi graphical sketches of the country iiroiind Manila were made for the use of the army commanders, and the sur veys were frequently made under fire. Dr. Francis II. Williams, of IWiston. says that when It tieeomcs customary to examine the chest with the X rays deaths from heart failure without pre vious wanting will be less common. The rays not only enntile the physician to determine the bIza' of the heart but with their nld he can also follow Its movements In health and dlacnse, which has not lieforo liwti possible. Such examinations are also useful In cases of Incipient consumption. With proper precautions taken no harm need be feared from X-ray examination. As In the case of the X rays, It Is possible that one of the earliest prac tical uses of liquid nlr will Is- In sur gery. Already experiments have Indi cated that a spray of liquid air can be applied as a local anesthetic, but tbe application should never be made ex cept by an exiericnced operator. In minute a small part of the body can l frog 111 ns hard as lot, and surgical oper ations conducted with the aid of liquid air are attended with no hemorrhages. In the Medical Record Dr. A. C. White describee varloue experiments with liquid air. Including the successful treatment of such diseases as sciatica, neuralgia nnd Ivy-polsonlng. Bolls and carbuncles can lie aborted with liquid air, and It Is useful In the treatment of ulcers. According to the conclusions of Mr. A. H. Keane, a well-known English ethnologist, tbe first creatures that could properly be called men appeared on the earth In what g.siloglsfs know a the PbOOOM period, somewhat about a million years ago. The precur sor of man, Mr. Keane thinks, was some such ape-like creature as the rithecanthropus erectua, dlscoven-d by Dr. Dates) In Java a few years ago. Four varieties of men were developed: Homo Etbloplcue In Africa south of the equator, Homo Mongollcus In Cen tral Asia, Homo Americanus in the new world, and Homo Caucastcus In northern Africa. From these tbe ex isting races are descended. Whether man has existed a million years In the past or not, there Is no apparent reason why be should not exist more than million years In the future. MP Ml "Well, lioy, did you tell your mlstTes I was here?" "Yea. sir." j "Well-what did she sayT "She said I was to say she bad been out for a quarter of au hour." Moon shine, i A Collision. Kiun Sparks Brudder, doan' yo' ad vise ebery member to walk lu dor mir ror paf Y' Brudder Sassafras Coase Ah do, boy; what ob It? Sam Sparks Nullln', bnnlder; only Ah wonders what Is gwiue to happen w hen some ob our stout meinbahs meet on der narrer paf conilu' frum oppo site directions. "Mrs. Maycup Is always well dressed, Isn't sue?" "You mean she wears well?" Moon shine. The Divorcee's Marriage. Mrs. Jones If the clergymen hesi tated, why didn't you get a civil mag istrate to marry you?" Mrs. Brown Oh. I couldn't think of It! It's bad enough for a person of a deeply religious nature to have to ho divorced by a magistrate, to say noth ing of Isiiig married by oue. Detroit Journal. The Taddle Vans Paa. "You can't Imagine bow shocked 1 was to discover that my cuddle smoked elgsivUesl" The little rascal!" "Yes, the Scotch almost Invariably smoke a pipe, you know. Detroit A Cruel Joke, Snndy likes Billy, do wickedness of die world Is nppalln'. Billy Coolgiite- W hat's do matter, now, pnrd? Sandy likes -Why. I went over nn' naked tint ln.lv fer a quarter to get mo hnlr trimmed. Billy Coalgote What did she say ? Sandy likes Asked me If I'd have It trimmed wld ribbon or lace. A Shaker. Doctor -Did you notice the direction on that bottle? l.arry- Yls, sor; It sold "shako well btfON using." , Doctor Well, did you obey? Iirry- Yls, sor; Ol shook lolko th' ould boy. Ol bod a chill. An Object Leseon. Motio of the '.I linear Nation. Have you heard Uie motto of the gov en. n, .-nt of Hlam? And having beard It have you nis'Oted It? And tuning repeated It, have you caught its purely personal sppUcstlon? And having caught It, have you tried It on your friends? This Is the motto: "Ah Wa Ta Nas Hlam." It sounds unintelligible non sense), but keep saying It over aa long as you con and as fast as you can and you will discover at last that tbe East ern patois has a Western sense that aptly classifies many a remorseful sub net of I'ncle Ham. For "Ah W Te) sue Hlam" la easily evolved into "Ah, iv hat an as I am." The Penalty. Qttlnn -Y'ou look as sour as a pickle. Why don't you look pleasant when on the street? DoFonte-What! and bnve everybody I meet stop me for a match, or to tell them where some pluco is? One Comfort. I.ndy -Y'ou ought to be ashamed of yourself. The Idea nf any one using a newspaper for a bed. Trump Dafs all right lady; 'twas one of dese "blanket-sheet" Sunday newspapers dnt I used. Weary Willis sad Dnsty Kosds. Weary Willie- Do yer know, I ain't foln' to de exposition next year? Dusty Bonds- Is dat possible? What come over yer, Willie? Weary- Dat blamed Dreyfus decision I can't stomach dat Kansas City Journal. What He Wanted. "What kind of umbrella do you want to buy?" "A rainy day umbrella," . , One Point Hcorsd. "How alsiut the trust conference?" "It's great; wu bad a photograph taken yesterday." The Server, Cholly Me fawther served In the army, you know. Idu You don't say! Dld'bc servo ra tions, drinks or newspapers? Wkere Illves rioarlah. Htubb Think what this glorious country holds for a young man who Is seeking fume. PMSf Yes; take Brooklyn bridge, for Instance. Diplomacy. Were you at the races yester- flhort day? Img Khort No. Theu you are the very man I'm looking for. Iug Why so? Bhort I want to borrow $5. Not a Hargala. "Don't you think," remarked th bankrupt lord to his American wife, "Unit you ought to call me 'dear? " Yes, I Mipin.se I ought," she replied, "fur you . ei i.i inly are uol cheap at any price." ' " BriS' issrr i ii l -4' jM aagtK-ftiXl JU "Hully gee. Bill! Patsy's fodder caught bim smoking cigarette!" Perplexed. Pearl -Our minister has been stand ing In frout of that store for the last hour. I wonder If he Is waltiug for anyone? Kuby -No; he Just tied two knots this morning. Pearl Matrimonial knots? Ituby No; handkerchief knots, tie Is trying to remember what his wife put them there for. Willing to Olv It Away. nu say, you want something for that cough, old man. Dlx No, I don't I'll give It to any one for tho asking. An Incraae. Ba,nker-'You and tho boy In the ad joining office ii pp. ar to he good friend. Jimmy Yes, sir; we wux raised to gether. Banker-Ah! Jimmy Yep; bis boss give him a dol lar mure do same time you did me. P.dglng That Way. "Are you and Mr. Simpson engaged, Kitty?" "Not exactly, but we hold aliout six prliniu y meetings every week." A I. one I 'll Want. Hoax I havo Just patented an Inven tion thut will te of incalculable benefit to the human race. Joux-Whut Is It? Hoax -A phonographic collar button that will make Its own profanity when It rolls under tbe bureau. Taking It In Trade. One of tbe disadvantages of doing business by burter Is suggested by story In the Ooldeu Penny. "Doctor," said a man to his medical attendant, who had Just presented u bill of thirty-live shillings for treat ment during a recent Illness, "I hav not much ready money. Will you take this out In trade?" "Oh, yes," cheerfully answered th doctor. "I think we can arrange that; what Is your business?" "I am a coruet-player," wo the re ply. flood Effects of Hinging, Army Doctor Barth of Koeslln, tier many, says that singing possesses health-giving propertied It intensifies, he says, the respiratory movement, thus ronderiug the lungs capable ol dealing with more air. This Increase and strengthens the action of all tbe organs of the body, appetite and thirst Increase, ami the more frequent move ment of the diaphragm and the wall of to abdoucu materially old dige O o