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About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (June 24, 1899)
Eugene City Guard. I. I. OAMfBILLi PraarUlor. KUOENE CITV. OR Ki I i.N Tut not trust Id riches, four riches In trusts. Neither, put We sold to Africa Africa, mind you -last ir goods valued at f 17,000,000. 80 far an OblM l concerned Hip con rert of Europe liaa develoia-d Into a float Tin-re 1 an unfortunate popular ten dency to forget that a hero U tiuuian Hud need sleep. The i" mint trust present 1 1 -1 f aa a thing to lie crushed between tin- teeth nr tin- public, ao to s-nk. Naming the Uby Funaton would prolaihly make the youngster "Funny" during tlic nickname period. A New England war hero haa been publicly boraew hipped. Verily, peace hull) her victories and olher thlnga. An animr piercing projectile having Iseii perfected, the next IhliiK In order la another Invention of projectile proof armor. It la not conatdered gissl form for a red headed girl to ride a white bicycle 1'hli I Important and ahould be re liiembered. Climbing treea and swimming rivers Htm to Imi nutural nttrlbtib-a of the A rlcan aoldler. Wheeler and Kuu Hun, for Instance. "Iioea the new flour truit, with a eap ltiillr.nl .,n of Slo.lNSi.lgsi, need a bis cuit?" aaka the Ht. I'aul Olobc. Not ex actly. Hut It need dough. The heir to the Keely motor seems to have discovered the sawdust stuff ing concealed within the Utaolu of the btjjimt. Thiia cuds the tale. Hludy, It la alleged, teiidi to leaaen peraoiial l-auty. A caae In point la the MI who, after fooling with a mule, wu not ao good looking, but kuew a great deal mure. The teat of the (iiithuiaii ahell dein OUNtruted at lenat that If one of them should DB carefully burled III the III Idea of au Ironclad and touched off (here would lie uothllig more to do to that Ironclad. It la a little odd that, although cap Hal punishment for burglary would he nioiialroua, the ahootlug of a burglar by a policeman leavea Hie moat bu inane of ua with an under couedona ueaa that It served the burglar right During the yenra IKial, IMUT, IKON and lv. m mure than fl'i 1,000,1 0 worth of blcyclea were shlpHl from America to foreign ivuntrlcs and sold. Now If the tack uianufacturera In thla country could get the forelgnera lutereated III the puncturing bualueaa another Indus try might reap big heiiefita. The crime of wife heating haa be Collie ao common of lute that aouie ex traonlluary pwnllllWail aeema to Iw needed for Hi auppreaalon. When gar Mtlng liecame cominoii In t li atreela of l.nndoii aome yeara ago the restora tion of the whipping poat for those con victed of the crime proved an effectual rcinedy. IVrliapa a temporary reaorl to It here In tin- case of wife hooters would DfOTi ctllonoloiia. Until and allver are poured abundant ly Into the lap of the nation; but our material wealth and atreiigih la rath er lu Iron, the moat inteful of ull the nielnla. Wltfcbl the last few yeara th I inventive geiilua of our people haa ap plied inch proceaaca to mining, audit ing nnd manufacture that we are able to furnish the world with bar Iron, ateel and hardware lu Infinite variety, at lower prlcea than were ever known before. Ami J tint now American loco motive bulldera are receiving order from varloua ruuutrlei, even Including Qraat llrllaln. It la not unworthy of notice that one of the moat serious disasters that have befallen our troopa lu the I'hlllppluca occurred to those who were going to the relief of a beleagurcd Spanish gar risen. They w ere under 110 legal obli gation to go thither, the Ninlh liov eminent llaolf N-Ing responsible for the aafe withdraw al of all Itn men. They went 011 the perlloua expedition at the almplc cull of huiiianlty, unire ready to succor their late foe than they would have been lut year to light them. Such a deed ahould go far to war. I restoring friendly feeling lu (be Hpaulard toward tills country. Of the thiHy two Speaker! of the national House of Representatives, fifteen have come from Statea aouth of M 11011 and tTtl'l line, thirteen from Uorlli of that line and eaat of the Alle ghaulca, and the remaining four from "the Went," If Indiana and Ohio may now lie ao dealguated. The Statea which have contributed the moat tal cut In thla line are Kentucky, Virginia and Massachusetts, which have glveii four Speaker each Jamca K. Polk Wn the only Speaker of the House who bona am Preatdonl of the tuiici Statea. Frederick A. Muhlcnts-rg. of Pennsylvania, waa the tlrat Speaker, and hi mat uc may now he seen lu the t'apltol lu the famous statuary hall. A ault has bevu brought by Martlu White to r.eovcr '."., mm from rmil Dfaaaafi the composer of "On the ltauks of the Wahab. l'hc letter that Never fame," "Juat Tell Them that You Saw Me," "I Itelleve It for My Mother Told Me So." and other MOl sllrrliig lyrics of a almllar nature. White claltua that tbe money Is due blui on a contract with On amir, the former putting lu the money aud the latter tbe talent for the production of the, gema. The Chicago Tribune, lu au editorial referring to Whlta's action, aaya It has 00 kuow lodge of the merits of the caae, but too statement that Dresner has realised between (200,000 and 130U,U00 from tbe publication of these dlttlea will create aome aurprlaa and ahould provoke tbe query whether musical education has made mucb Droarcss. When Dresser can DOOfcai a quurter of a million dollars for tin- Mil of audi aonga aud Housa'a noooft ' two-atepa return him many thuusiiuds a year lu roynltlea what I the outlook for the composer who wrltea music I A writer connected with a ftostmi newspuiM-r ak: "Why shouldn't 070 ueu awoke cigarettes If they want to? The uucstloii seems to I' Iniilly con strutted; It should be put thus: "What la to prevent a woman from mokliig cigarettes If she haa the Inclination'.' The writer go- ou to say that cigar etle aiuoklnu blackens tin- teeth ami iniiterlnlly Impairs the fcmlnlto charm, and adds that with the depar ture of the charms (he prospects of tin lady lu the matrimonial market van lah. Thla argument has DOM met by a IllllOa woman of Chicago who ha promised her mother that she will not UDOka until she la l" years of Bfl After that time ahe will consider Bar self released from nil filial utilisation Thla would upM-ar to la- 11 perfectly fair arrnngeiin-iit. If n young woman I not married by the time she Is M In-r chnncea lire not likely to 1m- 1 111 iH-rlh-d bv an occasional elaWOttOi n'"l If her teeth have stood by In-r nobly until her fortieth year (hoy will prob ably Im- proof agaliiHt the htiiIcIous In 0000001 of the nicotine of after III Heully, the fitltuib- of (he woman of (he iiresciit day la most deploruble; she inuat not wear coraet because they are valnlv feuiliilue. and she must not smoke la-causo It Is distinctly outsell line. It would seem that I In- only (lev lllsh Ihlng left for woman Is to put oil a shirt waist w ith a Hat scarf and chow gum. A peculiar condition of affairs In Bg rlcultlire exists lu a irtloU of Oregon occupied by the Eastern Oregoti 1 11 dlana. Nominally these frlls-a bavi abandoned their tribal relations um their DOS! Don bOTa tuken lund III sev eralty, but Instead of occupying (In lr farina they reut them to whltea, wh pay a rental of from 'A) lo $a an to r. 'I he crop rained I almost Invurlubly wheat and wheu that grain sells at oil ceuta a bushel the farmer makes profit of alsiut f'.'!i au acre from each crop, the coat of prislm-flou being alsxit (I'ii an acre. These Indian farina embrace HUl acres of land en and aa they are Is-lng curried on under (he rental system the whl(e mail la tin one who Is moat profited, but ao general I tin- rental syHtem practiced (hat onl) one Indian In the three (rlbea cultlvute Ida own farm. The laud were allotted to the Indian In the winter of INStiT anil to show how shrewd a bargain tin "untutored savage" drove with Hn (iovenimeiit, It Is told that he admitted to tbe trlls-a very many whites, who had a alight mixture of Indian blood In their veins. tisn (be payment of an Initiation fee varying from to 800, aa the chief saw lit to Impose. The fee being paid the chief aaw that none were alighted when 11 came lo a ill via Ion of their laud, and nlsiut thirty five white men tisik their share of Indian lamia. "Kor ways that are dark and for trlcka that are vain" the American half clvillied Indian Is a mutch for th "heathen Chlncc." 1 m i'tTw.w' i. The more a woman ha h- r will the lesa her way la worth having. I.ovc haa a thousand eyes and live hundred pairs of smoked flgllCl. Kvery woman thinks life Is most 1 i-loua for the men (111 after she gets married. One reiiHoii women can have so many griefs Is Hint they get over tlicm so ijulckly. A woman can love ao many different waya It la no wonder ahe Is doubtful a to w blch la the man. Flirting la a good deal like squirrel hunting; you don't get much giiiuc, lull It's mlghly good exercise The harder a girl Irle to marry n man the surer he Is (hat he want n marry aome girl who won't have him If women were worse and men bet ter, It ailll would he a loss up 11 te which were the bigger fool (o get mar rled. A mail can never understand why a woman will Insist on lemeiubcrlng tin Heft thing be said to her and think they wore sensible. A man has no Idea what au Imaglmi Hon hla wife has till he sec how many different ways she can get up of ar ranging the parlor furniture. When a in. in la pondering deeply as to whether he shall ls-t a horse tTOlfbl or for a place, his wife feel sorry that his hiiHlncaH makes It 1 1st think so hard When a woman gets to comparing her bttObOtM with other women's hua latuils, It la time for him to begin to pay aome attention to other men's wlvea. The more a man leta on that he ll wicked the more a woman thinks he bj only trying to OOOCaOl BOON virtues; If be kMM. Mill alout It ahe Is sure he I plotting deviltry. Niop Tlisl Cough. Kor troublesome hacking cough with which many people are constantly af Meted, especially toUicco auiokera, for Inflammation of the mucus membrane of the throat and larynx, there la 110 remedy superior to the following: Take the Juice of thrw fresh lemon, add an equal quantity of hot water, one-quarter of a level tcaspoonful of powdered alum, enough grauulutcd white augar to make a syrup; put the solution In a clean vessel, put It oti the tire and brlug It to a Indl. Wheu cool It w ill I- ready for use lKtse, one tea apoonful every hour until relieved Caution: This la a very powerful solution and should lie taken exactly according to directions It should he measured In a teaspoon and not takeu by guess if bottled and corked tightly It can la kept any length of time. RUSSIA'S BIG ROAD. QREAT TRANS-SIBERIAN WAY SYSTtM. It All. When tha Caar'a Htupeoiluoaa Project Is Cosaplatad Oar Pacific Coast Mar llecoma More Isaportant than tbe Atlantic The Kuaalan minister of railroads li quoted In recent Ht. 1'etersburg dis patcher aa saying that there la no louger doubt that the traua Siberian road will la; finished next year and that wheu It Is completed It will Is? po Bible to make tin- trip around the world In tnlrty three days. In this same d.s patch Bremen I taken for the Boro pOOJ starting point, for the reason that It Is reached by steamer from New York; thence the route Indicated Is from Itremen to St. Petersburg In one ind a half day ; St PBtonbarg to Vla livostock, ten days; Vlmllvoslock to San l-'ranico by steamer, four and Due-half days; Han l-'rnnelsco to Chi ?ago, three and one half days; Chicago lo New York, one day; New York to Itremen, seven days. Hhould this longest railroad In the I from thirty to thirty five daya to make It. At first thought PUB ptoaupni ali ening of the time would eeem to bode anything but good to the transconti nental traffic of the 1'nlted Htatea and Canada which baa been heretofore af ford. by England In ber commerce with Aalatlc countries. But the Intenae rivalry existing between England aud Russia la to be taken tDtfl account. The tram Siberian road will not be exteus Ively patronized by Kngland It will be upMrted by Russian traffic and, In a degree, by Oerman. 'I line, It la true, la a valuable element In commerce, but It will be loat light of by NM English while pushing their own Interesta In opposition to those of th. lr most dan gerous rival. Kngland. at any rate until tin- Hieuagwu eta il - eoojtral d, will continue to support tha Out dlBB Taclfic Hallroiut by her shipments, and at the same time and from the same source the trans- oOtlOtBttl lUaH within the Cnlti! BUttH will have each a share of booefltS, Buchaectlon. of th. Siberian railroad qtjd JjlJDGET OF FUiN. aa are Is-lng op-rated are reported to wtvxa- " (ourse of Umpire Turned Back, It Ih for other reason- 1 ol to he fOBTOd that the courae of cninini-rce of em pire will be changed, turned back OB ii-eif, and made to mora toward the eaat. It hn ever beeo weatWBfd go ing, and there la evuy reBflon to be OR BAT RAILWAY SYSTEM THAT It! SSIA IS lHTLDI.Nti. world I- completed next year It will ban- been nine year In courae of coii- tructlon. The preliminary plan or it construction waa outlined by the late Emperor Alexander III. of Ituln In hla rcwrlpt addressed In May, MM, to the OBfirOWltS, Surveys were made for portion of this cortlniMua tran SIU--rlan road In 1HS7 KH. DOBlgOad to DO glu at Oholabllisk, near the Isiundnry between BtUOpOBO Btld Asiatic Rusala, It waa U end III Vladlvostock on the PoCUlC ocean and. together with the system of RnasbUI railroad. WB1 dOB- tilled for 1 'on lie ting th- Baltic Sen with the I'aiitlc. Tot the ake of facility of onstrnetloo it war dlTldod into botoo line under the following names, re ipeetiTOly: The Welern Hil er an Rttll- Ecotiouiy may lie wealth, but yoi can't use It lu politics to much advaa toga, i:m mi aoioaa hik. btbfmb. Mad. SHo mile; the Central Siberian, 1,111) mile; the Baikal Loop Line. I'd mile; the Trans Baikal Railroad, 080 mile; the A moor. 1.111 mile; the North ( Missouri, 327 miles, uud the South (Missouri, ".VJ miles. Ho that the total length of the railroad In Aalatlc Russia WM designed to Is- 1 ,007 miles, and the total dlltance from St. I'cter burg to Vladlroatock, or from the Bal tic Sea to flu- PaolflCi was BBtlmated at 6,233 inllca. This gigantic work ha bora proaacuted with ntarreloui vigor and itoadlnoaa and a year BgO was da dared to In- Hearing completion. Itiunur In the I, Inc. Changes have been luscssltatod III the Hue by recent events In China originally only one port mi the Pacific was thought of, Vladlroatock, uud that was tO be reached, tlrst. by a northerly and then by a southerly Is-ml entirely through Ritalin n territory. But owing to Interests obtained by Russia in Man huiia It was doomed Inexpedient t, follow the line us It was originally stir voyed, and accordingly a DOW line dl revt from Irkutsk BOUthWOll to Vladl vostock was adopted, Still more recent evciita lu China have caused another Change In the main Hue to be made, ami In consequence not Vladlvostock but Port Arthur will be the terminus on the I'acltlc. So that the trans Siberian Railroad divides Into throe prong as near approach I made to the Pbc tl One prong goes straight on lo Vladl vostock, another strikes down through Manchuria and a third l-ar In a south ly direction down lo Port Arthur Either of these latter I a hortcr cut tn the sen by several hundred miles, the Port Arthur route lM-lng the shortest of the three. Vladlvostock I not fo DO abandoned, It will have Its railroad and be made In consequence a Commercial plarjl of Importance, but It hu the ills advantage of K ing during one half tin- ear under MOW and Ice. Port Arthur Is opoa tha year round But this latter p.-i 1 I In China ami before Hula de hied to extend Its Iran Siberian Kail road thither ltula must have come to satisfactory understanding with China. Within the present year, then. St. Petersburg will ! connected by rail not only with Yludlvostock. but with Port Arthur, and probably within next year by branch rouda with Can ton and Peklii. It Is estimated that after the road is repaired after the tlrst few yeara of traltlc the Journey from St. IVteraburg to i'ekin will be made lu lle dav rem London the most Important har Dor on the lapafl Sea will Is- sOTeBtOOP ami a half days It ;s n,.w possible by the "North EXBtBBB" to go from Um don to St Petersburg In two day and four hours. It will then fore be pos-. b e to reach Peklu from London In seven or eight days. Rut thla lu the future. While the road Is nev an. I stiff the speed at which the trains will run will not be greater than twenty miles au hour, but even so It will bfl possible to go from iiOBjdoa to Japan In sixteen days aud to China In seventeen days. The ehortest cut at present froru London to those countries Is across the At lantic, across the t'ulted Statea or Canada aud across the Pacific. Bud with the best of luck It Uke lleve that It will cotitlnue In that direc tion. Civilization, ao far aa we kuow, began lu the Kuphratea valley, moved to the Nile valley, and theu to the eaat end of the Mediterranean. Rome took It up and spread It entirely around the Mediterranean, and afterward It drift ed out Into the Atlantic. There was never any change or shadow of turn lug In flu- course civilization would pursue In It march over the world. Meanwhile BBBtOrn trade was hud by the advancing nations first Venice posses-id It. then Spain and Portugal, uud next Holland aud England. Venice ceased a a world D0W0f aud her suc cessors to the trade of the Orient, while continuing In the rich trulllc, looked ever out toward the west. At length nations surrendered that trade to commercial companies, and them selves sought more and more to ill cover uud occupy new lands In the dls tnnt west. Exactly three centuries ago England Incorporated the Eust In dia company, when England waa en gaged lu making conquests on Un American continent. "Westward tin course of empire takes Its way." It was puraulng that course when It left tin- Atlantic State of tip republic and made Us way over the Allcghenlea and into the Mississippi valley. Again It was pursuing that course when, lu 1848-60, the l'ojlle COBII was reached, and the Intermediate country began to be occupied by Intelligent people. Our interest III "empire" I, or was until recently, limited to these I'uited States. How fur that interest may ex tend nnd how permanently nobody Just now can s.-iy. But it Is absolutely certain that the part tin- United Slates are to have lu the trade aud commerce of the beyond of all the Asiatic coun tries is to be Immense and boob to be realiBcd, The completion of the trans Siberian railroad I an event of the greatest significance to this country, it means, tlrst, thai Siberia, n country 11 large ns all North America and 1 . .... 1,.., ,.i...niilnL' exis liscs rile itv emuiua "k- -- a " first, or western, section earned ex penses tbe first year, w bleb was It carried of first, second, third and fourth class passengers 15U.3I5. It brought lhO.OOO settlers Into tha COM try, besides Xt.ooo workmen and U.iVS convicts. In lKPi the connecting, or iim-kobl, section carried Into the) country .'l7..'or) passengers of the differ ent classes and llO.if.'j settlers. In 1MHI on the third section, the Chela- binsk,. were carried i't.TiW paeiigers and Vi"- settlers. That was thought to be a giHl iH-glnulug, but It Is stated that since IMal, the roud having la-en enormously extendi! and old stations Improvisl and new- stations established, the passenger business ha largely In creiisi (L Ofllciul fables tire not at hand, hut It Is believed that during the last two yeors not less than .'i.M'ixiO emi grants have arrived lo Hlls-rin. From all account tbe most of tbM are con tented ami doing fairly well. The total receipt! last year for transsirttitlon of passengers ami freights were upwurd of $:i..'ss.0 0. Tln-se figures will serve tO change the Idea PMSy hold of that country. Klberla has ever DOM re garded as a frozen waste, uninhabited except by exiles and quite uninhabit able A country that can furnish such an amount of business to a new rail road is plainly something very different from that When the roud la completed the pas senger business will Ihj lurgely In-crea-ed, for the way passenger trallic will Increase, ami It Is certain that thoUHumls every year will prefer to go all rnll around the world, esiHiiully us that way It Is cheaper and quicker. Tickets from Warsaw to Yludlvostock cost 120 rubles, or fcni. From Um- don to Vladlvostock the cost of a ticket Is $110, first ( lass; a second class ticket Is considerably cheaper. A Chicago person knowing tha fare to New York and London can easily calculate the coat of trnnsHrtutloii from his city through Europe to Vladlvotook. The price of a tlrst class ticket by the Sue, eanal to Japan I fiiH. Add the price of ab-eplng Is-rth, twelve nights, by the Siberian route, and still there la a sav ing of 1190. It Is estimated that 160, " tlrst class passengers will use the new route annually. Expectations equally high are entertained of the freight trulllc. (iiKida going over the road to the east and those coming west will be those that can pay the highest rub s, such as furs, gold, silver, plat inum nnd tea. As the estimated cost of building and equipping the road la $p l.l KM 1,1 MM I, (ho highest earnings It may be capable of will be needed to pay a profit on the divestment. But na the road la owned by the Russian QOTOrnment um! ns iilmvc all things a military Mad, pecuniary profits aro not what are mainly sought Manx Ilranch Heads. From almoat the tlrat the activity of the Russlun In Sila-rla has not been confined to building the main line. Branch roads wen- early contemplated and some of them are completed. The Russian railroad from Ekntrluburg to ihe navigable part of the Dwinn Is nearly completed ami the products of Siberia will thus have au Important outlet to tha White Sea. and baud lu hand with the building of the main Siberian water ways Connecting with the railroad Is progressing, and surveys are preparing for the building of branch roads to all the more Important towns of the various provinces and to flic mining district. Few of these branches will is- built, however, until the trunk Hue la completed, for most of the energy and money will be d -voted to the main road until the great project Is an accomplished fact. Au enormous part of tha country that Is tributary to the Siberian Railroad la amply blessed by nature and Is capa ble of supporting an enormous popu lation. This road will be the main fac tor in the next century In the develop ment of an Important fraction of the earth's surface. We have only to glance over the list of the projected lines connecting the Siberian road with china to get an idea of the Immense In- HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO. INGS MERE AND-THERE. Jokraand JoktUU that AreSnppoaed to BJo)fi leo Kecentljf Borsi-Bayloas sad 1 1 1. .. Are Old, Csnrloua and Laaghabla The Wsek'a Ustasor. "Home of the grentest men In the world have met defeat 111 their dearest ambitious." remarked the stalesmun The friei.il w ho hud la-en morose look ed up. with a suddeu gleum of cheer, ami exclaimed: "i if course they have. It's happening nil the time. I k lit our busebull club."-Washliigton Star. fold Fact, lie Life will not be all sunshine. ,i..,,...i ' . .11 have our share of trouble. bUl when it comes we'll stand BOd fBCO It. shoulder tO shoulder, will we not? Bbe Why. Qeorge, dear, how can wo. You're head and shoulders fuller than I am.- Chicago Tribune. l- 1 ol . 1 Sorrow, Farmer Jones-Well, my ly, whut profeaalOD an- you going to take up? .1 s, Jr. Pharmacy, I think. Fanner Jones--Furmacy! Why, gol dang It. you could have staid at home mi the farm fer that, Instead of spend In' time an' money at college. New York World. A 1. 11 1. Mnn. "My bus band has u great advantage over most men." indeed" "Yes. He walks In his sleep." "I don't see whut advantage that can bo to 11 person." "Why. he can carry the baby all nlgbt long and still get hla natural rest" Iter 1-urpriae. She A doctor lu Berlin, after a great dull of study, has discovered that mar ried men live longer 1 hun bachelors. He ilmploiingly) Suve my life! She 1 Joyously 1 Oh, Clarence, how did run guess (hat I loved you? Columbus Hate Journal. I.ni.klna- Out tor Ilia Fafetr. "Why have you uud Miss (iadthwalte broken off your engagement V" "Because she loves me so." "That's u queer reasou." "Not ut all. She believes lu fortune- telling and w hen she went to huve her future revealed, not long ago, she was Informed that she would la married thn-e limes. That settled my case, for the time being at leust. She suld she wns determined that I ahould not en Counter the danger of la-lug tlrat ou the list." Conditional (,'ontract. Weary Walker Did yer hear alsiut Pele gittln1 a Job phiylu' de plunuer ut de seashore? Dusty ltlinilcs- Wot.' he nlu't workln', Is he? "Yep; but be only plays plsOM wot ber Iota or rests in dam." Philadel phia: Record. ' " A Van of 1 Parta. "Drambleton is u muu who ought to be representing lids country ut some European capital. There Is a man who bus the natural qtiuliticutious of a dip lomat." "Do yon think so?" "I don't merely think so. I know It. He has been living with bis 14-year-old boy at a Isuirdlug house for the past three wis-ks and I still on good terms with everybody from the lnnd bidy dow n." At the Premiere. ABOUND THE WORLD IN THIRTY -THREE DAYS, about as diversified as roapecta cli- mate and soli and general fertility as large portions of North America, will Ik- tilled up with Industrious people, and that before the twentieth century I half out all Asia will tie teeming with BOW 1 fe and sharlug prosporlty, Becondly, It mean. that the Dotted States will then exchange products BB a large scale with Slln-rla. Chlua aud every other country In that quarter of the globe. Then the Pacific O.vau will BO white with steam and sail, as the Atlantic now I and our Pacific Stales will be populated lx r baps not less densely than Japan The civ dilution on the Pacific coast will N the list on this continent, and the splendor of It trading and commercial achievements will cc'dpae anything that has been know n In the (vast ou the east ern aide of this continent. Ouly-the l ulled Stat., hesltatee to face about aud face the Pacific and the OtieaL faanen. which Russia la certain to wield over nil the Interests of Eastern Asia. No Wond r II Pained. A tenderhearted old woman noticed a horse with a brvwd nhhas tuvn.i modern . alvm"1 '' Just above the "oe asked the waiting driver of the cab why It was there ami suggest ed that It was more than cruel to place It on the animal. "Yes, muni," replied the cabby. "If palafol to the horse uo doubt, but that's not the worst of It It's the get ting of It on that pains the p,ir thing Why, WO had to stretch the Band and draw It over the horse'a head and dow n all his body to get It on." "For the land's sake alive:" exclaim ed the old woman, and walked away horrlttcd.-Chlcago Inter-Ocean. The smaller the woman the easier It Is for her to twist a big man around her Uuaor. Lady In Front Row (to her neighbor, towards the end of the second net) Who Is this mau next to me, who's Just com.. In-do you know? He doesn't Boom to lie paying the smallest atten tion to the play! Her NclghW-Oh, I expect he's a critic. He's proliubly made up his mind long ago what he's going to say of the piece, but he's Just dropped in to confirm his suspicions. Puuch. Took the Hint. Alice 1 heard I very pretty compli ment for you to-day. tieorgo What was It? Alice Mr. Thurston, the Jeweler Bold you were one of the liest judges' of diamonds In this city. d in g.- May buy a nice solitaire for the third ting -r of your left hand? Alice Oh. George! What ooL i,i,,i . . . " J"u ram 11 intugl Well, Ut to. Buffalo Commercial. If you A I'nntrarr Person. "Old Bill Qudgett, he was that con trary." said the oldest Inhabitant, "that when spring came he portended he felt like workln'! "-Indianapolis Journal Terrlblr. Mr Uogosh-Whafs the matter dear? Mrs. Bogvrnh (sobblngl-Our Sylvia called me "mother" a moment ago far tU first time 1 ber life. ' The Iteal 11.,... "The Idea of sending children . v early to punish 'em!" ucUlnM iSf Cosset, who was discussing B B tlrea. "That Isn't any way u Jft tbetn." ' 10 c't "Of course It Isn't." answered v husband. "If you want to Mortal J? that you mean business make v up an hour or ao earlier in th ? w Inir." m( The Win it. or "Oh." Sighed the poetic lady ... , the wings of a bird!" "Il iwun protested her hu.i-M "Dou't wish for the wing 0f T25 If you bad them some other -,! would probably i wearing ,1, .?' her hut before the season toorei? " The Product Mmltc.l. "Ynas, Miss Cuttlug." Tvan Colly; "I bollOT. .n-aw-sfraS j ward speech It's my Custom, aW, know, to always ipeak my mEto Thufa It, Is It?" pul In the ,,. 'JJ "I often wondered why yon badsoS tie to any."-l'hlladelphla Record. Oyatera and Clam. "I have been investigating the of counts," she said. "New York counts?" asked ber broth. "No, French counts," ,he aB.wemt for she aspired to a tlUe.-JbJcsoi Evening Post, n Pleaalna Amusements. "Have you an agreeable boardlnr house?" ' "Yes, we have; every uiorulnr m hove a cake walk." "Cake wulk? What's that?" "Why, the first muu at the table tttj the hot ouea. "-Detroit Free Press, Hla Memory, "Did you ever And that when ron stood up to talk before au uweiuulL you forgot everything you kOewT "No," answered Seuator Sorghum - never was taTeeUgated."-WaahJjkna Star. w Hloh Ambition. "I'd like to be rich enough to get m, name In the papers every duy." "Aud I'd like to be rich euough to get my name off tbe tux llst."-lUdaM1. oils Journal. A Chattered Idol. Father-My son, (ieorge Washington wu8 first In war, first lu peace aud first lu the beans of his countrymen. Sou I'll bet he wouldn't have been first lu a bicycle race with Juuoi. Mlt-lmcl. New York World. Keaaoa. Amateur Scientist Can you expos to me the reason why so many peupa become lusune? Qnyor Tha answer ought to imps. Itself. They have no rea'son. He Got Ills Dinner. my Cadging Charlie I 'umbly begs j pnrdlng, young lady, but could jra spare a isire workln' man a little salt to ent with this 'ere nice piece of iljtrt biscuit I've Just 'ud the luck to pick up? Fun. Clear on One Point Sprocket t Do you believe that the bi cycle has seen Its best days? Tyre-1 know mine tiu.. rhiludcl- phla North American. At most Unnerved Her, Marie Maude nnd I were Jowntowr yesterday and as wo were walking along one of the streets we looked u and saw- men ou a ladder, painting 1 building. They must have been tt lwul iitsj feet above the ground, and all oil suddeu one of them slipped and atosf fell. I was terribly shocked. Harry I'm not surprised at Uud. I supoo, In your mind's eye you coo see the poor fellow shooting thWI through the nlr, even though he wo- ceiled lu saving himself. Mnrle Oh, It wasn't that. In n awkward grab at something he upwl his paint and a big splotch of It cam right down on my new spring wrap. Did you ever bear of any one who usd such luck as I have? A Favorable Impression. . . .... . . ... ....... In fh ttiggie w men or tnc scun i pluy Impressed you most favorably! Ill I .. 1 .. !.'". 11 n iei'1 1 Hbjla-Why1 1 . . 1 . .1-oti tat moo. 11 lie gave me iwo m - -the show. Itoxbury QBBette. Nature's Influence on Mnn. 'Nature exercises n wonderful D" myeterlous Influence over men. t en plants are poison to some folks medicine to others." "Yes, and my husband is al troublad with rheumatism when grass begins to get tall ui'ti our la"t' Patient Not Competent Judgr. A San Francisco medical Journal W . ...Hflf ports a legal case that was rm" triiil nt Tnmnis. Wash., lu which t question as to the liability of IJBnW for the fees of consulting phySJCS The action was to collect a consul uw fee of $20 by Dr. McKone from s P tlent n mi. d Cole. The defense ' that the platutifT never employe" I McKone, but that the latter WBI csl"J in iv iti. .0,, .wo.oitii,,. lit in he the f1"' lly physician. Dr. Stratton. who attending blm for nn attack of Win' dlcltls at the time, and for this res the attending physician was rosP"1 ble for tbe bill. The court held that In serious -- tbe patient Is not coniia-lent to of his own condition, and thai tnc tending physician need uot BlWBys ' form the patient of hla Intention to counsel, as the excitement pe au h a consultation might be preJPJJ clal to the patient's chances of r' ery. A venllct was accordingly enter for plaintiff. Half the people In the world sr u happy because they have too mu'"'' the other half are uuhappy tbey haven't enough.