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About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (April 1, 1899)
9 Caught in a Storm. ffl sai " acr ii ci are some advantage!." rP,.i.'l Konald meditatively, 'In J. being cousin, after ML . ,ddressed Angelica, wbo sat op 5. blm. All about them wan deep- IT. .r..nitv-on one I. lit r " - I.. band stretching ..,.. 111 a nur wnu ....... " ..... ..ii.up mertiua distantly on is" - - shining ma " if ... I . ,IIT. ..ts ajrim ragmen tbein. Angelica's bat was ex that Is iture Urowii fix ln . . Utile forward and thelfeeze USd". sing her cutis, to -anthem Jrllv about her face. 8be was a m ,u m-rson In all respects save ''"'I0 b two were particularly lag-. d,DHuoUo'.bebole. Angelica." added ii deliberately. "I regret that I iZfir "claimed. "I really . .iiowoo to be so flattering." Xuim l. a nondescript, variable ri of belng-at times an absolute t others a sort of second- !..i hmthcr-ln that capacity J. useful. Of course, irruV .onietliliig; but still .... -I jhluk It's a great deal; but I see M are the same as ever. You always were greedy little boy." said Angel ica. "Thanks. You, on the other band, were rather nicer as a little girl than rou are now In some ways oh! you could still be nice If you tried." "If I tried? How fuuny! I shouldn't loow-you see most people think " toe regarded her shoes inquiringly. "I dare say; but 1 am not 'moat peo phV I aland alone." I thought you were sitting down," Interrupted Angelica. (She certainly ii provoking to day.) And I wasn't iwire that you were alone. But per bapa I don't count." My ili ir. that's the worst of It You du count, and there's no one else In the world who does. I Just worship you, Nan! Have I atartled you 7" "Not at all," she answered,jolltely. "You si- they all aay that or sotne tblng equivalent." She turned her head t little and dabbled In the water with ber hud. "Oh, jes. I know! Of course, I'm a preaumjituous fool. All tbe same, I have thought lately" be paused and then added: "Do you remember last week at Cowes?" "lea," aald Angelica, radiantly. "On that afternoon I don't mind telling rou, Ronald I very seriously consider ed falling In love with you. There Is yacht (ulte close to us," she added, quite hastily; "I considered, and after due d. l.bera.lon, dec d d " "Well, Nnnr "Not 'o fall In love with any one at ill." "You mean " "Konald, If yon don't row how can I :' We don't want to be swamped. Love Is ho Inconvenient." "You're pulling tbe wrong rope. I confess 1 dou't quite see how " "Well, It doesn't always go with other things." "Hut Is It not worth more thanother things?' "Ronald," replied Angelica, some what Irrelevantly, "have you any Idea of the price of a l'arls hat?" "The left rope again. Ah, now we're safe! A Paris hat? I well, I have beard that they're something ridicu lous." "They are absolutely ridiculous. That fact alone,'' aald Angelica, solemn I;, "la enough tq make any thought qf Ik iv Impossible and wicked," "Except for any one with, a heart, with a aou, composed In fact qf any thing hut shallowness and vanity." "My dear boy, If you go on," she aald, ncournglngly, "you u 111 In time make the accomplished flatterer of the age," "Uon't Jest with me, Nan. U'a noth ing to you. perhaps, but to me It's every Inlng. I luve you. If yqu knew what tb word meant," be burst oqt ve. beuiently, "you could not alt there coolly breaking my heart In your eanda." "Hush! Not so loud. Yes, I know I'm wicked (penitently). I oughtn't to be ber with you at all, when I am going to marry some one else." "You're going to Nan, Is this truer' "Mr. KatbUone," said Angelica, drooping. Are you engaged to him?" "He will ask me to-olght." "How do you know that?" curtly. "Ronald, don't be so absurd! How do I know?" Thla wM convincing. "Well, be is a consummate fool." aald nonald, savagely. snu," sh murmured, love you01"' te COUlJ DOt P"b,y "Thanka-once more." Or any one else, except himself. But, W course, I see that he baa advantages, don t trouble to explain what they in WDwlal7 mammal It will 'I be so delightful' " " din7 ?' 8 llenc. The sun bad 0P'Nbueky bad turn, J-Ifs not so pleasant as It waa, is It' Wired Angelica, presently. " Portly. ' or;aab0lH ,hlW ml,e8-" vn. dear, are We? Why don't you quick,,, them Pon't ynu see It's to be wet?" thought you were steering." ruda- "lou night help me," the aald. J. watlveiv imi .. If ' a. IUC ruiw. ve s swift stroke or two, and r!-IWun rund. There were angry T of clouds drifting toward them by don't you row faster? We aball Isatl uom- be exclaimed "Konald, was that tbuuder?" auld Angelica waverlngly. "There Is generally thunder when It lightens," be auswered, with bitter sar casm. "But we're out In an open boat, mllea from borne or shelter of any kind." "I am awure of that." She gave a pathetic little gulp and pressed her hands together. "Oh-h! There's another flash! Ron aid, I I'm going to faint!" "Kalnt? Nonsense!" be returned, roughly. "Nonsense? What do you mean. Mr. Oram? 1 suppose 1 have a right to faint If I choose I ah!" Craib, rattle, rattle, bnng! C-r-a-c-k! "Pt that over you." aald Konald. aternly. wrapping ber In hla mackintosh coat. "But It doesn't rain, and that makes It m much more dangerous, d -doesn't It, Ronald?" "Much more," be answered, merci lessly. "Oh, how can you be so heartless and cruel?" she moaned. "You don't care bow much I suffer! Men are always like that " "And women never, of course," put In Ronald, with quiet Irony. "Oh. don't don't be so hard! 1 know I'm a wicked girl, and this Is to punish me!" A vivid gleam shot up the heav ens, and somethlug seemed to burst over their beads. "Oh, Ronald! (In a frenxy of terror) save me, save me! Oh, let us die together! I love you, oh, you know I do! Don't look at me so she was ritovoaiNoi.v BAI11AST. petu- coldly; forgive me, oh, forgive me, Ron ald!" Angelica bid ber face In tbe cushions and sobbed. "I can better bear to die with you, dear, tbnn to live without you," said Ronald, tenderly. There was a suspi cious twitching altout bis mouth, but he mastered himself heroically, and It did not become a smile. A alienee followed. The thnnder rolled and tumbled away to tbe west, and presently there was a gleam more brilliant than any before. "What's that awful light 7" moaned Angelica. "Dook, dear. It's the sun." "The sun!" she stnrted up In conster nation. "It can't be, Ronald (Indignant ly). Do you mean to tell me tbe storm Is over?" "I think It's passed by. You seem an noyed. Aren't you glad we're out of danger?' "Yes yes, of course. Only I thought " haughtily perhaps now, Mr. lira nt, you will take me home?" "Yea, I'll take ypu home, Nan. They'll be surprised, won't they, at our news?" "News? What what do yqu mean?" gasped Angelica. "1 tbnk you know," There was no mistake about thli smile now. "Rqnnld," she said pathetically, "now you're not going to be tiresome." "Nan," be answered gravely, "I do hope not, but, of course, a lifetime Is a severe test." "You know It was only because I waa frightened. It's a mean advantage It's ungentlemanly" her voloe died away wekly. Ronald provoklngly "Are you quite sure you didn't mean all you said?" Angelica, tearfully "It'a absurd: Mamma will be so angry." Chicago Herald. aJ7!? "(,e ' ,,rong and the wind la ! Vp I'm doing my beat." tonald, what waa that? Ob. don't Hhtnlng! I'm more afraid aat-. 1 ,nr,nln In the world. Oh, lPr aa a subdued roar In tbe dla ttow gathering u ruinously. Average Lju(th of a Man's Stride. Quetelet estimates the average length of a man's stride at ." 1 1 -j Inches, nnd the distance an average traveler can cover at this rate at 7.158 yards an hour, or HO yards a minute. The numlter of strides would be 7,500 an hour, or 125 a minute. The length of the stride In the various European armies Is as fol lows: In the German army It la 31V& Inches, with a cadence of 112 steps per minute; In the Austrian army 2UM lnchea, with a cadence of from 115 to 130 per ilnute; In the Italian army 29V4 Inches, with a endence of 120 per min ute; In the French army 20 Inches, with a cadence of 115 per minute; In the British army 30 Inches, with a cadence qf 0 per minute. Ontw tted Hla Shaip-Tonaned Wife. An Englishman of l.ymlugton bad the misfortune tp l(ve In a continuous quarrej with bis wife, who was a mod ern Jvantlppe. nud threatened. In ens she jurv(ved him, to dance oyer hlj grave. (4 was her Ipt. tq quUIve b'm, but R was not so easy to carry out her threat The busbanij bad tbe preeau: ton to make an injunction lu his w'U requiring bla body to be burled In tbe sea near bis residence apd without cer emony. Tbe Injunction was compiled with, To Prevent Slerp-Walklng. A device to preveut sleep-walklug is to lay upon tbe floor beside the som nambulist a sheet of Iron, xlnc, or other metal, wide enough to Insure that be will step upon It. When tbe sleep walking At comes upon him bis foot touches the cold surface of tbe metal and be Instinctively draws that leg Into bed again. After two or three attempts the aomnambullst gives it up and set ties down In bed. HUGE BE AR-TR A P DA M MIGHTY CONTROLLER FOR CHI- CAQO DRAINAGE DITCH. Gr.at Main and Ky.t, m uf Mil Ice ('..!-. TbrouHh Which the Wttir Irum the Caaal Will !.. 0 the llcsplalnn -"saarkabl Knglnecrino; Fro. At Lockport, 111., the great Hrataos channel u(N. There the might rut which, beginning neur tbe WrlduejH.rt puinplug htutloii ut Chicago, extends twenty eight miles through earth aud rock terminates lu a solid nUCIIIl wall six fttl thick at Its smallest dlmenslou and hacked up by thousands of tons Of broken stone blaahjd freiti the channel and dumped babJttd this Impariahabia harrier. Wheu the channel in comoittad lOd the water of the river turueil Into it "ere ii man to start in a rowUtat at the OPPOC end of the channel nud let the current carry his craft dowu stream the nose of his boat would at Lockpoft bump into this solid wall. It Is Ml dl ractly across the end of the channel, which at that point becomes a baslu almost 5(0 feet wide. On the uorth hank of the channel at its terminal is the gmtoal pin e of en gtnoarlng in tba whole gigantic work. This is the "controlling works," the sys tern of sluice gutes nnd the djMS through which the waters of the chan nel will pass Into the Dcsplnlucs River. For the big drainage caual will not empty Into the Desplalnes as mio rh.'i empties Into another, or as the (ill cago River now flows into the lake at times, simply by a Junction of their channels. Every gallon of the water from the channel will pass through the Immense "controller," the gates and dam by which the sanitary district can regulate the flow of the channel. I( would uot do for the trustees to cut their new channel through to the hank of tbe Desplalnes nud turn the water In to take care of Itself. When the Dos- wide and closed by door weighing twenty tons each, I ordinary and slm pie. The doors are raised or lowered liy counter weights, according as the flew of the chauuel is to Ik- raised or re duced. Hut tbi elevatlou of the entire crest of tha ilit in is a matter requiring much more engineering skill. The fiaigaal Ian In the World. This Is the fargest hear trap dam lu tl.e wurliW There Is oue lu l'raiii w. 01 the rival SVUie, and Vu tkk ciwvf tV.'Su st ae un te XkHnsiihiilu Wt imJ hM ar the head waver f tto .MikwUfttprii. itut ttiey saaasaMi ti.u only lu the general Idea that the crest if the .l.i i. that Is, the angle ever which the water flows, can he elevated t.i CMtral I hi tlmv ti the water. Neth lug ho IninieniM' as tills dam Inn ever baaa pcojactad or so complete the mechanbun iy which it is to ba raised and lowarad. At each side of the dam a tower has lioen erected tbe top of which will tie about flftaao feet above tha surface of the w ater w hen the channel Ih lu Opa atloii. lu each of these towers an lin MM bucket Of steel nud Iron weigh lug close to 500,000 pounds will bo placed and the cylinder lu which It rises and falls will be connected with the w ater hy gates which can lc opened and closed at the will of the oMTators. When It Is necessary to raise tba crest of the da in to check the How of the water In the channel toward the river, ns lu case of a flood In the Desplnines or other emergency, the gates will tie opened and the water lu the Immense cylinders which buoy up the heavy buckets will escape through a subter ranean tunnel to the tall race. As tbe water descends the buckets will also slowly move downward and the crest of (lie hear trap dam will rise, gradual ly checking the torrent of water from the channel, which will lie pouring ovef the dam Into the tnll race aud thence Into the lcsplalncs. At tbe MUM time, of course, the sluice gates will in- lowered, decreasing the opening through which the water will bo rush- toward Jollet Instead of almleisly around the couutry. Work ou the controlling plant was started lu lMIt, wheu the sluice gates were beguu aud tbe Urst work ou the ts ar trap daiu. w hich Is destined to be come a famous piece of euglncrlug, was started lb June. 1S07. 1 1 It takes a w oman as long to select a aeat at the theater as It doea for tbe average man to pick out a new suit of ciotbea. jtlalnes Is at flood In the aprlug there .would bo oceans or trounio were an Svntera of the channel uncontrolled. Bo sides all that, the law under which the jaanltnry district trustees are operating requires mem at hii iiine uu nmnui w Volume of water In the channel. It says that while the population of the aanl- tnrv district of Chicago Is at Its present stage, or approximately so, the channel shall carry 300,000 cubic feet of water a minute. When the population in eroascs. as It will In the course of a score of years or less, to aliout double what It now is the channel must take care of 600,000 cubic feet of water a minute. It was constructed of suffi cient capacity to fulfill the latter re quirement whea the time comes. Just now It Is necessary therefore to control ho flow and keen It down to 800.000 cubic feet a minute nnd this Is the ob ject of the controlling worka. The "Bear Trap." While the seven mighty sluice gates through which a portion of the water will flow on Its way to the "tall race," as the Junction with the Desplalnes Is termed, are remnrkuble and notewor thy as engineering feats, Uia feature of especial prominence nnd the one which stands alone at the controlling works Is the "bear trap dam." It Is not a Ix-ar trap at all. It Is uot any old kind of a trap. It Is a dam with a movhblf crest, If you know what thut Is, and this In Its general appearance suggests the (ild fnshloned dead fall liear traps, with which Daniel Ituoim used to ensnare the luckless bruins when he wanted a Dew overcoat. The crest of thla dam. which la 100 feet wide, by the way, twice as wide as any other lear trap dam In the world, Is made of steel plates bolted together to form a floor, over which the water will pour on Its way to the tall race. Hut that whole dnm w-elzhine l.OOO.OTSt Kiunds, can lie raised seventeen faat bf the efforts of two men, with the assistance of a little hvdraiillc nower and a couple of coun ter weights weighing aU.ut OOO.OOo pounds each. When It will Ih desirable to check the flow of the channel Into the Desplalnes, owing to high water In the river, this dam ran be raised grad ually, reducing the flow from the chan nel until tbe desired height Is reached And this Is the star feature of the con trolling works. Tbe operation of tbe alulce gatea, which are thirty two feet lug and aiding the dam In keeping back the flood from the channel. When the crest of the dam Is at Its normal height a foot of water will con stantly pass over it, carrying all the floating matter swept down the stream by the current, logs, lojnber, and the like, and in winter the ice, which will lie broken up a It strikes the steel crest, and carried over a dam Into the Desplnines. Thla Is one of the princi pal needs of such a dam, for this float ing matter would not pass through the sluice gates. The water nt the gates passes under them nnd for a depth of a few Inches from tbe surface Is almost motionless while the current ours along underneath this "still water," which "runs (eep." Of course, floating objects would remain at the turfaoo and could not get through the gates without bobbing uuder the aurfaee, passing through and reappearing on the surface on tbe other side. No log of wood or cake of Ice could ba Induced to do this and therefore the darn la being constructed, for over that a current of water a foot deep will pour constantly hearing on Its bosom all tbe flotsam, and Jetsam of the cana. Behind the massive controlling works Is a deep basin ending at tbe northern extremity Ip a high levee or bauk. It is almost lion feet w ide and extends In a wind!"- course to the Desplalnes Klver, uow twisting Us way aloug a few hundred feet from tho aluloe gatoa All this will he under water as Boon as tho channel Is opened. This will be tbe "tnll race" and lota It the waters of the drainage ditch will ba allowed to pass from the controlling works Is as great volume as the official! desire. Of course the flow can he stopi! entirely If need le by closing all the sluice gatea and raising the hear trap dan) to a point higher than the level of Ijike Mli hlgnn. lu short, through the mova hla dam and tha gales the sanitary dls trlct absolutely controls the volume of water that will imss Into tba Dca plalues by way of the tall race. evo has leen built by the trustee! along the southern bank of the river Just west of tbe controlling works which extends In a winding course toward the city of Jollet the smoke of which can be seen Ave miles away from the big wall which ends the channel proper. It Is designed to change the course of the Desplalnea so that It will flow directly MM WW SI o.P ni a iirraapandaat of PrtnteM' luk sends the following to that Journal: West Union, la., has a population of 3,000, One of Its progressive llrms is the dry goods cstnh'.Nhuicut of ThonUM A Manner, the latter a young man With a training gained lu selling goods for Car-. in. lirle, Scott Co.. of Chicago. The w riter called upou Mr. Manner re- teully. aud found him engaged In pre paring a il column advertisement to , pear lu each of the three couuty pa pan. "1 have noticed, Mr. Manner." said the writer, "that you are departing somewhat from the usual I.uik In coun try advertising. Do you rind that the regular use of page ads Is helping your business'.'" "Well, yes," said Mr Maguer, "some thing Is helping It, and I don't know what else to blame for it. We have been Compelled to put on extra clerks this week, and still people have t eu kept walling." "What do you find to he the taking feature of your nils;" "1'rlces, " said Mr. Maguer promptly. "Our advertising Is all prices. We quote low tlgurcs ou goods of known quality, and we set apart a certain hour of tle day when we will sell a certain sort of goods at a cut price. We also have special sales, from n week to a month, at which we offer sHclal In ducements Oh sH'iial lines." "Do you llnd that the trade resulting from this Is largely confined to the spe cial lines, or Is It generalV "Ueucral. We seldom sell a cm-tomer--especially a customer from a distance- only tho goods used at a lender. It Is my Idea that when a fanner comes to town to buy dry goods be has a "little list' that has been In pr.se-. for Weeks. pelilllps 11101)1 llS. If we can Induce him to come to our store, we check off the entire Ilit." "Then It Is your opinion that the mak Ing of lenders Is as good a plau In the country ns In the city?" "Better. We don't have twnrms of bargalu hunters to conteud with. A man doesn't hitch up and drive ten or fifteen miles to buy only a few yards of prints. But he does buy the prims." IIUMOR OF THE WEEK 8T0RIES TOLD BY FUNNY M N OF THE PRESS. Odd, Cwrloaa and I.unchakl ffcaaaa V tkaaata NaOsset UaMpMcaaSar Por tal WtfK aMsUaiw at W vr.aiie My! tort lou I tV, fcaa romh-ss ut HitrM? !!' bound W my my I., a. I for u pillow . Mrs Mlgtfs of lotirsc H. waon Something soft, I supp. s, Look llefura You I.eav. SERVIAN WOMAN EXECUTED Convlctad Hnrdaresa Placed Against a Wall and Hhol. Tbe people of Servla have no objec tions to the Infliction of capital punish ment n pen women; or, If they have ob jections, they were forced to swallow them wheu Mine. Jevrem waa executed for murder recently. She was neither hanged nor placed In the electric chnlr Hhe was placed against a wall and shut. This happened III a Sen Ian village near I'rokuplje. A (ircek priest named Irle Jevrem had been killed. Ills wife and a peasant with whom ahe had be come Infatuated were fouud guilty and condemned to be shot. Ou the day of their fate the two culprits were takeu to the public square and faced a tiring squad of soldiers with loaded rifles ehlud the sqund stood n huge mass of spectators from far and near. The execution lurked no element of the dramatic. The man wept aud la uicnted and begged tor mercy. Th woman was calm. The aquad had madu ready to Are, w hen au aid HUM dashing through the square on I back. Ills coming merely prolonged DRAMATIC KXECl'TIO. the strain upon the two criminal!, Un man embraced bis knee! lu the bopo that he brought a pai.Mo, (he wuliuih turned more pnle, but was alleut. Mer cy It was, but only partial. The aid ho re a, reprlvu Indued, but only for tho man Hhe begged ber compaiilou to re main with her tu tbe end. But tbe fel low fvllowcd tho gnat. Is away without even nddrcsslug une word of pity to the unman Aud He n hut It there any peed to tell the rest! A Ni tnral Hallway Tunnel. One of the most remarkable tunnels In the world Is the natural railway tun uel ou the Hue of tbe Houth Atlantic and Ohio Hallway, In Hcott County, Virginia. The railway apparently, nud In fact, enters a natural cave ur grotto, nud disappears lu the heart of the mountain. The entrance u, the cav ern Is nlNiut fifty feet square, lusldo of It the railway runs through a series of chandlers fur alod l.tVUO faat when It emerges from the other side of the mountain- The cave-tunnel U ail in llinestoue- It serves not ouly as a tint ural railway tunuel, but also a chnnnel for a small stream known as Htock Creek. Virginia also ssseiuMs a nat ural Itrldge over one of the affluent! of the James Klver, about tweuty-flre miles northwest of Lynchburg, which Is noted for lu beauty. Blown (ou a visit to the couutry) -Ah! This reminds me uf my Ixryhood days aud make me wnnt to romp again. I'll Just Jump down on that hay. Not Too Maatleat. Publisher- I wish you would writ ni a good sea story. Creat Author But I have never been to sea. 1'ublUher-I know it. I want a sea story that poople can understand. '.la Well Va Can't. "What do you think would be tha result If we could see ourselves aa others see usV" "We'd all lie so discouraged that none of a would ever have the heart to go tKUMH said Ik- greut." But he didn't know that there was a pitchfork concealed In It. Kx. Tha War nf tho World. "And so you wen- a metulier of that dead lin ked legislature?" "Yes, sir." "Some men are Imrn rich, some achieve riches and some have riches thrust upon them." ttrava Kobhery p .i Crlma. Kohhlug gravel Us crime under Chi nese law for which tbe tblef may b Justly killed on (he spot by auyuua fludlvg him out. Touching. "I Jusi saw a touching scene." "Whit was It?" "Two fat men In a 4 by 0 elevator. They touched on all sides." Doubted lllaa. He-fJNva me oue ktsa that 1 may cherish It forever. Khe Is that all you can say In proof of your love that If I kiss you, you won't give It away? Indianapolis Jour mil. Diplomacy. "And so Kauule IVrklelgh Is going to marry that old decrepit fellow Just be cause he has a lot of money V "(Ih, Uo, thut Isu't the reason. Hhe's going to marry him because her pur ents, by throwing out clever bints, inr ceetled In making tier believe they did n't wnnt her to have blm." Waa Mm ii,, On It. Absorbed Novelist -Mary, please take the cat out of tho room. I cannot have It making audi a aolse while I am at work. When Is ItT Mary Why. sir, you're sitting on It. How Did Hha Know Kdlth - Who were those people here tills afternoon, mamma'.' Mamma -Prof. Blghead and his wife, dear. The professor Is one of the best Informed uicu lu the city. "How do you know be IsT He never opened his mouth once." Vonkers Statesman. Cammon I on uu h. "What ever Induced you to call your daughter Birdie? Is that ber light name I" "Oh, no! her real name la Hortensc, but she thinks she haa a voice and there's a pretty bill attached." A rompllment, "Henry, are these pies as good aa your mother used to make 7" "Yes. dear, Just alsxit. rather nsed to say my mother was the worst cook be ever saw." Tana for Coolneaa. Sin- (on the gray) What a hot sum mer we hud last year! He Yes; but. If you remember, the summer of '&0 was Just such another. And thnt Is the reasou why now she never speaks aa we pasa by nor even bows. I'unch. Ilor I m pi Ion, "Who Is Agulnnldo?" asked Maud. "Why, don't you know?" responded Mamie. "He's a Malay." 'Oh, yes! How stupid of me. Oue Of those people who come from Mala rla." Washington Htar. (heaslstrr Kladargartaa. Bobby Is oxygeu what oxen breathe all day? I'apa- Of rourae, aud what every thing else breathes. Bobby -And la nitrogen what every on. breathes at night 7 Bostuu Traveler. Uatfcer Cleoa. "I in- stingiest man 1 ever knew waa a fellow who. In going upstairs always (kipped a step In order to save hla sfcoo thcr. That's nothing. I once knew a man wbo was so itlngy that be wouldn't trim his flugvraalle except when ho Could borrow a Jack knife, because ho dtdu't want to weojr out hla own." True. "Tfas- teteOOld girl Is as pretty as a pie t ues Wm't she?" "Oh. ysv a whol- lot of pictures. Hut then her ovasMy Is only skin deep." Philadelphia Bulletin. Knows When to Out. "You told me your sou had buslnesi ability." "Well, hasn't her "All he kuows Is when the clock strikes Tash Hilarity. "Jumpklni never laughi unless there's mouey lu It." "I've seen him laugh at the theater." "Of coureo he has to laugh there to get his money back." Wanta to Make It Permanent, "Our new Is. aider came here Just for a temporary home." "Well?" "Now be wants to marry my daughter." A Baslneae Consolidation. "Where Is that girl who was out lec turing ou 'There Is No Death?' " "An undertaker proposed to her and she married him." Wall Decoration. "Our landlady haa taken down Home, Sweet Home.'" "What did ahe put up In Its stead?" " 'No Quarreling About the Ther mometer.' " went Forewarned. "When my typewriter girl away, what do you think y 'Well what?" 'Hhe left a note for the new girl tell ing her I was mighty shaky on the use of 'shall' and 'will.' " Delned. "1'n, what Is a hypocrite?" "A hypocrite, my son, Is a man who does what his wife thinks lie shouldn't do, and theu Is too thoughtful of her feelings to tell her about lt."-Detrolt Free Tress. Oettlna I nn. 'Why don't you discharge your pres ent doctor and see If sotueliody else can't help you? Here he's had you In bed for three weeks now. aud you seem to be getting worse all the time." "I would make a change, but thla fellow owes me $lk), and his bill foots up only $411 to date. I've got to work It out of him Bomrhow." Unkind. "O, I could remain kneeling here for ever!" "You may ao far aa I am concerned, but meanwhile I shall seek other com-panyl"-IIltere Welt. Oettlno Keea. "What did little Jim do with the quarter be got for having hla tooth pulled r "He spent It all on comic valeutlnea to send the dentist." l..o. That Way. "I see s member of tbe New York 400 says no mau haa a right to get married unless he has an Income of at least o,000 a year." "What's the matter with him? Haa he a houseful of grown up daughters?" Knolleh Meaanre. "I suppose she's worth ber weight lo gold to you?" "Not exactly. Being an Kngllsb girl ihe'a worth ber weight In pounds." Cleveland I'lalu Dealer. A Haw Healaaeet, "That young fellow haa a great com mand of words." "Yea, but don't yon think he's got very little discipline In his command?" -San Prauclaco Chronicle. i Knew His Buslneat. "You understand," aald tbe plumber to bla eon, who had Just been admitted to partnership, "that It is onr rule never to overcharge." "What do you call an overcharge?" aaked the young man. "Charging more than the cuatomer la worth." Indianapolis Journal. Hlnanlar Plant of the Kaat. The Hose of Jericho Is one of tbo most singular forms of plant life. It la an annual and Is found In Hyrla, Af rica and Arabia. During the growing; season It preseuts no strange charac teristics, but as the pods begin to rlpcu on tbe approach of dry weather tho branches drop their leaves and curl In ward, presenting the appearance of dead twigs. When completely ripe, tbo whole plant looks like n hall of curtoua ly emu i no-ted wicker work at the top of a abort stem. The route die, and tho plant la carried to great dlstancea by the wind. When the apparently deml and worthies! ball reaches the era or any other water, or becomes wedged In some place where rain fails on It, It un bend! and the hraocbea resume their former position. The pods then open and discharge their seeds hundeda of mllea frem the place of original growth. Tho monks la 1'alestlne call It "Maryn flower" from their hehef that II ox panda each year an the day and hour of tbe birth el the Savior. It I known as the reeurrecKec plant Beauty la but akin deep, so It la on au eoual footing with freckles. o