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About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (March 18, 1899)
gCPPOSE WE SMILE. ..MOROUS PARAGRAPHS FROM "the comic PAPERS .... ''Ml" cc"rr," th " c.i...tbilArCbecr- . old o' Vou-r" - i that Everybody K-Joy. Practically . , . , .1.1 ' Pina :is ,.'. .ffhnt io you lu,u" v I ,V?t be expected to get any inouey J ark Insulted? w in lie told papa u Rd "ln8" f 0,1 object o W ' ' ' n.-troltFree Press. in i F.r. from Drown ta I winter Visitor mi rim ...... , rh to go taUlBg, bat it looks T,ry aingerwn - -yelriSi mum. Tbe ,S'r XrM. U drown.- I ft York www A Large Adv.rtl.em.nt. I . n-i... t... iliutii th.-t Knot. LJODW . ,ur ...... " . l . ma f,.r II I w niv shoos Cues " l' " olMicd? I'"' tu,,y doU t uoed t i a . Rnrnex uneai no i ius jit io ... . I t. I ... I-. .... uUU he a gooii an ifr uiui-uitunusi-. Ob, Do Ahead. Mn Meddler Not another word! It i in Mltngeoni scandal and not lit to llfKtted; not another word of It will lltteu to. I Mr. Meddler But I haven't flulshed ML Urs. Meddler- Oh! Go ahead!-Puck. All He Kxpected. Mr. Jliuiwn-Won't yo' sing gonie- kl. lie for us. Miss Skylark? MU Skylark (modestly) V ah, 1 11 in Mr. Jluitou. Mr. Jlnumn-Suttlnly, Miss Skylark, uttlnly-dat's wot I meant! Puck. .dentine ITulrvoyancy. I "1 h' tialibleton and his wife don't get I to well together." ril'uat makes you think so?" "! Dotlce lie is paying her so much Mtlim Id iiubllc." Puck. Judging the Man. They say Jobson has Inherited $10,- liit must lie a mlsiake." What makes you think so'.'" I taw iii in less than an hour ago and wit perfectly sober." lime lie Moved. Thy do you call tills the court- i?" asked the mail who was look- I over the house of the man who was ng to sell It. Did 1 say courtroom? Mere force of lit. 1 have seven unmarried duugh- Detroit Free I'ress. -in irfi i ratetil jijool l uritifl full beta tlx I teU hern in irloe) Print t ciu I n1 ' r ow' lirHrt to. ri. H e mi"' if!- u-eooia .rutin i. th' itbor Jn (he Kur Went. Madam," said the leader of the com- tee, "we have just hanged your bus- Id by mistake." Ob, I don't know!" said the lady, i man Is a hero to the wife of his lom.-Giiclnnutl Enquirer. Fonnd at Last, i Uubltor This, hulles and gents, i piece of straw Is that celebrated Mm that brokft.the camel's back! In. llardiicre Well, well, Hiram, fl wonderful. I've hoerd tell of It rtraw all my life, but little did I tKpect to see It! r,ond Keaaon. I Friend If you love her, old fellow, f float you marry her? hcbelor Doctor-Marry her! Why. one of my iMst patients! Naturally. mi i.-1 i cap'1 itannj' rt- ven I" . .. rtU ad IT Uthol- that you lth,if.'ada' there was -h. -He lork Herald. t,. financial. MitlikT mMt 1 Krovr to be - uu,,e, asked the small Hb? bhiaIi j . . ... ,iw rather, P an''. ' tl" IMlH'r8 that - -ponane Spokeeman- l'o..l V. I . . 7Z y ,lmt WouIom Miss .ueu awruiiy low-neck- onder,Ml on the subject my- UwT wus- unle8" ''e "Uiaiia)OllS ITom. "er Plan. r 'a th 7 fou ani 1 wvr nttm. "na yu Should k r Cr-Hng through the '"'r oeama Which la inH ii ... the foikj came hone. J WtmA . ... "Emellne has ihts blues again." "What's the matter now?" "Well, she had to spend the 5 rents she had saved toward golug abroad." Detrolt Free I'ress. Waan't Kept In. Mamma Ain't you horn,- from school earlier than usual today? Bobby Yes, mamma; I wasn't kept In to day. A fcheaser. Dingle My wife and I haven't spoket. to each other for two weeks. Dauks tiraclous, old man, what's up? Dingle- I'm paying her board at a Southern resort where they have no long-distance telephone connections. Ills Choice. Mrs. Peck-If you bad your choice, would you rather be Kipling or Dew, y ? II. Peek-Dowey, of course. He's much older than Kipling, but we must remember that the udmlrul Isn't mar ried. The crash that disturbed the neigh bors was nothing, however, but the slamming of a door. Aa Fhe Looked at It. 1 Mr. rilinley-Vcs, I still hope, some day, to place my name upon the acroll of fame. Miss Wllllklns Oh, you think Fame Is going to bring ber scroll around and roll your cigarettes for you while you are working the chisel, do you? A Needleia Oueetlnn. Ilousehunter How about the people In the flat above have they any chil dren? Agent Mercy, no! The general sec retary of the Mothers' Mutual Experi ence Association lives there. Not the Only One. Mr. Whlngleby Oh, you needn't feel so uppish. You're not tbe only girl In town. MIbs Flasblelgh No, I'm not the only girl In town who has publicly an nounced that she wouldn't have you If you were tbe IaBt man on earth. Hushed. The Poet's Wife Algernon, I wish you would The Poet riease don't break my train of thought. I am writing a poem for the midsummer number of the Fid dlesticks magazine and the editor says unless I have It ready by 11 o'clock to morrow be will have to close the forms without It. One Good Turn DeaerTes Another. The Testator To my former cashier, Schulpfer, I give aud bequeath ti.000 florins. The Lawyer What! To the man who absconded with 3,000 florins of your money? The Testator-Oh, I'm not ungrate ful! The fellow, you know, rati away with my wife at the same time! ler I'loh. i unit, aa Uanal. Benedict I see that a Chicago man Is suing for a divorce on the grouud that he was hypnotized when he got uiar lied. O' Batch I wonder If any man ever got married without first being hypnotised? His Keaplte. "You seem to be happy over some thing?" "I am. I feel as gay as a lark." "What's up?" "My wife has gone away for three weeks and I shall not have to take any medicine to keep off the grip until she gets back." Transportation. "The money market," Mr. Wallace began, with that superior air a mau assumes when he talks of public ques tions to bis wife "the money mar ket " "Which reminds me," Mrs. Wallace Interrupted. "Reminds you of what, woman?" "That you haven't given me the mar ket money yet." Boston Traveler. For a Retreat. He What Is that you were just try ing on the piano. She Oh, that's a new march. Ue Awfully fast time, Isn't It? She Yes; I think the composer wan In a hurry to get through when he was writing It. Yonkers Statesman. Free Show. Tommy Golu' to the show ter-nlgbt, Johnny? Johnny-Naw. We're goln' to have a free show at our bouse to-nlgbt. Pa's golu' to put down a carpet Ex ploded. "They say great geniuses are nearly always absent-mtuded." "Oh, pshaw! There's nothing ln that theory. Why, I never forget things." 500 tbe BEN KING'S VERSE. A Toet Who Wrote Funnr Thlna Bet-auae He (ouldn't Help It It Is now five years since Ben King died suddenly at Howling lireeU, Ky . while ou a tour of nttrUIUMBt Al most Immediately aft, r tl-. iii ioua ad amusing verses lie kid whiten were published ami found IDttdj sale. Now there Is found to be a demand infflclMH to warrant a tiew edition, COOtatnlBI all the poems lu the older work and a number of others which were not so lucludod. Some of the Ix-tter known of them, It Is safe to say. will never be lost to the world. King bad a sens humor which was truly American and of the Iwst order. IntaUaetnaBi sinking. He wrote funny UiIihth W cause he COUld Hot help It, bclug still funnier than they. What he lias writ ten survives lu garbled form mi every variety stage lu America. The editor of the book here has seen tit to change the name of "The Sum of Life" to "The Pessimist," Ignoring the puu ou the Longfellow XM"in Implied lu the earlier title; but It Is Just as well worth laugh ing over ns ever It was: Nothing to do but work. Nothing to eat but foon. Nothing to wear but clothes To keep one from going nude. Nothing tn breathe but air Quick as a tlnsh it's gone! Nowhere to fall but off. Nowhere to stand but on. Nothing to comb but hair, Nowhere to sleep but in lied Nothing to weep but tears, Nothing to bury but dead. Nothing to sing but songs. Ah, well, alas, alack! 8tate Officers raid In Pelts In 17H8. Probably few people to-day know that the original name of the State of Tennessee was Franklin, or that In 1788 the salaries of the officers of this Commonwealth were paid In peltB, but the following Is a correct copy of the law: "Be It enacted by the General Assem bly of the State of Franklin, and It Is hereby enacted by authority of the same, That from and after the first day of January, 17t8, tbe subtrlcB of this Commonwealth be as follows, to wit: "His Excellency, the Governor, per annum, 1U0 deerskins. "His Honor, the Chief Justice, deerskins. "The secretary to his Excellency Governor, WO raccoon skins. "County clerk, )0 beaver skins. "Clerk of the House of Commons, 200 raccoon skins. "Members of the Assembly, per diem, three raccoon skins. "Justice's fees for serving a warrant. one mink skln."-Murfreesboro, Tenn., ) Independent Banner. 1IKN KINO. Nowhere to go but out. Nowhere to come but bark. Nothing to see but sights, Nothing to QUStlcfa but thirst. Nothing to have but what we've got; Thus through life we're cursed. Nothing to strike but a gait; Everything moves that goes; Nothing ut all but common sense Con ever withstand these woes. Severnl "If I Should Die To-night" poems have beeu written by several persons of varied ability. All were given to the world before Ben King wrote bis during tbe World's Fair. Since that time none have been pub lished. This Is the reason: If I should die to-night Aud you should come to my cold corps and say. Weeping and heartsick o'er my lifeless clay If I should die to-night And you should come iu deepest grief and woe And say, "Here's that ten dollars that I owe" I might arise in my large white cravat And say, "Whut's that?" If I should die to night And you should come to my cold corpse and kneel, Clasping my bier to show the grief you feel- I ssy, if I should die to-night And you should come to DM and there and then Just even hint of paying me that ten, I might rise the while; But I'd drop dead again. By way of a third parody, true to life, and worth quoting to the member of tbe fnmlly that seems to be most In love, take "How Often:" They stood on the bridge at midnight In a park not far from town They stood on the bridge at midnight Because they didn't sit down. The moon rose o'er the city Behind the dark church spire; The moon rose over the city And kept on rising higher. How often, oh, how often They Whispered words so soft How often, oh, how often, How often, oh, how oft! Filipino Wrnpona. The bola, with the fringed handle, la most lu urn1. It Is a terrible weapon, and the natives are remarkably dexter ous with It. As a machete Is to the MUSIC IN PORTO Rica The National Instrument, the ftulra, la Minpie hut Ingenious. I.Ike all other Spanish speaking peo ples, the Porta Bb sus are food of mil lie, Every cufe has Its pfchootre, for a i ufe could hardly do business without one. Every main street during (lie hit tel part of (he day has Its little lllner aut bund of guitar ami violin players, tnd the w aim nights are made pleasant to the strollers along Ike Streets l,y the sonnd of stringed Inetrnmenti which Hunts from behind the latticed, vlue Ind screen of private residences. Nearly all of the airs are pitched In t minor key, which, even when Intend tl to lie joyous, contains a plaint to the Angle BtlOO fond f Sousa's robust music. To one who bus traveled lu Spanish lands the music of I'urto Klco it tlrst seems very famlllnr. but the ear is not long lu discovering something novel In the accompaniment to the melody. it sounds at tlrst like the rhythmical shuttle of feet up, n sanded Boor, and line might supMise some expert clog lancet was nimbly stepping to the music made by the violins and guitars. The motion Is almost tOO Quick, too oinpllented. for this, however, ami It is the deft nee of lingers, and not feet, which produces It. It comes from the only muolcal In strument native to the West Dull, I the "gulra," which word Is pronounced "hiilr-ra," with a soft roll and twist to the tongue only possible lo the native. Tbe "gulra" is a gourd varying lu size in different Instruments, (lu Hie In verse curve of the gourd are cut silts like those lu the lop of a violin. On (be nther side of the gourd opposite the holes Is a series of deep scratches. The player balances the gourd lu bis left kind, holding It lightly ihut none of the resonance may Is- lost. With the right band he rapidly rubs this roughened side of the gourd with a two-tlned steel fork. In the bands of i novice ibis producea nothing but a harsh, disagreeable noise. In the kinds if a native "gulra'' player a wonderful rhythmic sound comes from this dried vegetable shell a sound which. III Its place lu the orchestra, becomes milsb and most certainly gives splendid time and considerable volume to the per formance. The player's kind moves with light nlng rapidity. The steel fork at times makes long sweeps the whole length of the gourd, nud then again vibrates with Incredible swiftness over but an Inch sr two of Its surfueo There seems to be a perfect method In Its playing, though no musical record Is before the player, and It seems to lie a mailer purely of his fancy and his ear as to DOW bis part shall harmonize with the melody of the stringed Instruments. The gulra Is found ln all the West Indies, but seems esiH-elally popular In Porto Klco. The players generally make their own Instruments, ami apparently become attached to them, for as pisir as these strolling players are they will hardly part with I heir gulras.eveu when offered bm times their real value. They are distinctly u Porto Itlcan curio, nnd strange as It may seem, l'orto Blco Is probably more destitute of tourists' "loot" than any foreign country known to the traveling American. Tbe tourist who can secure n gulra may cougrntii late himself, for II will be hard to get and Is the very thing which t an be car rled away from the island as a sou venir which Is distinctly native and peculiar. Kansas City Star. NATtRH S V0NDIiR3 REVEALED BY A MICROSCOPE. C HA Of MO w t AN ASTUTE AFRICAN KINO. At the twelfth annual exhibition of the mlcroecoolcal department of the Brook lyn Institute some w underfill microscopic llldee were shown, of which these are few of the most notable. The eye of a house lly was one exhibit. Each one of the numerous facets shown IfloctO u different Image, The hair of a mouse was ex- bltuttsl by ii woman. Mrs. I rbiili. whose rhoi.-e of subject is tsvuliiir. How did she catch it? It looks more like a rat's tail. The saw of a saw lly. one of the exhibits, shows how the insect makes a slit in u leaf wherein its eggs are deposited. KitiR Ha Mat 111 I', of Abiaalnla Is a lllahly Intell aant Monarch. The moi letDte Md diplomatic ruler In Africa is King Mem-Ilk II.. who will play no Instgnilcnnl part lu Euglaud's advance from ibe bend waters of the Nile southward totbocnpe, In spite of the turbulent nature of Ins career. Men- ellh has found the opportunity to study English and Dalian, ami Is a scholar of no mean erudition. In the mutter of trade and passage through his couutry he is Irreconcilably obdurate, His fear of conquest by somo foreign power causes an Inordinate lUipttfOD of all strangers who may visit him, to whom be Is Invariably reserved and hostile, until when one has penetrated through the epidermis of tact and diplomacy, It NEAT FIVE-ROOM COTTAGE. An ami Inexpensive Vet Very Cm; t'oinfortiilile Hume. lteasonable people do not expect that a small and cheaply built bouse will up pear as handsome ami pretentious as an expensive dwelling. Yet there Is tin reasou why a cheap house, no matter bow small It may be, should not look neat and cozy and be comfortable, also In COOntry districts a low bouse Is less exposed to the beat of tbe sun lu sum met and Is more easily kept warm In winter. A pretty one story Cottage well built Is more desirable than a more pretention! design poorly constructed. The BCCOnntnylni perspective and floor plan represents u cottage costing alsitit 7ini, which will meet the reipilrenients of many who wish a con Venlent house of 0W cost. The fact has been kept In mind that n client wanting a bouse costing $7ini would be very likely to build on u farm, lu a lit tle village or In the very outskirts of a lly. He has therefore Utile to do with the luxuries and elegances of those who ure able to spend a larger sum aud who. accordingly, are located where there are gas works, water works, etc. What has been kept In liilud Is the attainment of a maximum of room compatible with safety, health and comfort and a prop er regard for beauty lu features of con struction. Cellar Is provided under the kitchen, ami the foundation Is built of brick. The front entrance Is from the porch Into the sitting -room, Dining- room ami living room are of liberal size ami each well lighted, ami arranged so they may be easily wanned. Tbe door and window casings are neatly ticaded, with angle blocks at the corners. The two hcdronis ure of fair size, aud pro vided with griod closets. I'he size of the building Is 28x43 feet; the cellar Is seven feet deep and the first story ten feet. The materials and workmanship are of good quality throughout. The outside walls are studded and sheathed ami tlnlshed wllb pine siding, and gables ami roof shin means of a string and one end Is fasten ed In the trigger, which Is the small notched stick shown at b. This passes through the bole shown III d. and when the trap Is sot supports the door. Those traps are placed In orchnrds during cold weather. The rabbit In tunning utsmt the orchard Unas the trap, and, seeing thai It Is a hole which xvlll afford him protection, backs Into It, punhee against the trigger, causing the notch to slip off tbe catch and drop the door. No bait Is necessary. The Raarjgc A tlUf IIAnniT THAT. ean aaio9sEL hUb LnT ' vj3aa.aa KIMI MEMRI.IK It trap must ! made of old weather- beaten Ixwirds, for the strong odor of new pine will keep rabbits away. The lr BluktlM I... i.l..... ..1 UM ,1... Mhljl ....... . . ,,..,,. ...V ..... runs where they come Into the orchard. It Is more successful on cold, clear nights. The Grange Jtidd Farmer as ! serts that one orchardlst In Central Illinois caught more than l.tsio rabbits lu these traps during one winter. LADY CURZON IN INDIA. What It Maim, to Ilea VUcroy'a Wife - Hoclul vOnMUade on Vlceroxalt y, I'nder the title "The American Girl Who Lends an Empire," Edward Page Gaston writes Interestingly In the Wo man's Home Companion of the respon sibilities undertaken by Lady Curzon: "It sometimes devolves uKin tbe wife BATHS NOT HEH SPECIALTY. Poatae Stamp Worth $2S. The highest value of an English poat age stamp la $25. Tbe stamp Is of ob long abape and very seldom used. Cuban, so Is the bola to the Filipino, but Ainiimildo's men have not so fur got near enough to the Americans to put their favorite Into play. An HI Omen. Walker Ilaiimi Yes; I play "Dawson City Dave," the returned Klondike mil lionaire! IDs New Laundress 'alnrmedl Dat settles It! Dat's my hoodoo. De Count of Monte Crlsto owes me H7 cents, two Silver Kings owes me a dollar-ten each, an. "De Wizard ob Woll Street" struck me fo' 00 cents cold. Yo' got to pay me In advance! Puck. Meoalng a Need. Inventors occasionally Invent some thing worth Inventing. A Massachu setts man has patented a suction cup of rubber, a numlier of which, when - -- round the edses of a rug, and presaed rtn thecjloor, expel tbe air un derneath, faaten themselves to tbe floor and prevent the rug from slipping or turning up at the corners. Hospital Patient Had Not Hud One In Mx Months. This actually occurred In one of the hospitals lu the city where a number yt patients from the lower walks of .ifeure brought for free treatment. One ulght the polh e ambulance brought a young woman who was Buffering from 1 severe ease of rheumatism. The tlrst ;art of the treat incut nceorded patients ,s n thorough bath before they are pluc-i-tl between the clean sheets, and llio unpleasant task of administering the icrub Is a part of the duty of the probe' tloners, as the nurses nre called during the tlrst six mouths of their training. Tbe one who attempted the work lu Ibis case found a hopeless Job on her hands, and after much vain bilsir she went to one of the older nurses for ad vice. It being a case of rheumatism, they disliked to risk putting her In a tub, but there seemtHl to be no help for It, so they soused her Into the hot water and used soap, soda, alcohol ami every thing else the place afforded, ami they rubbisl. scrulds-d ami scoured with but little success. At last the elder nurse iselaltned: "I don't beHere you ever bad a bath In-fore, did you?" "Yes, I did," answered the patient la toneo of indignation. "When was It?" "Just Is-fore I was married." "How long ago was that?" "A little over six mouths." Chicago Chronicle. DOd native Philosophy. "I am qttlte certain that Kdlih tends to uiurry Tom." "But they are uot engaged! they?" "Not Hint 1 know of, but they everywhere together, lie never goes with another girl, and she never ac cepts attentions from another inan." "Tbnt Is good ns far us It goes, but la It enough to mak ic certain thtt sbo Intends to marry him? Has she told you so?" "Oh. no; she has not said a word about It to me, nor lo inyoUO else so fur as 1 know." "Then what makes you so sure?" 1 have watched them a great deal, and I am convinced the) fcdlth Is Ink lug a long look ahead, for whenever Tom tries to spend any money on her ihe always dissuades him." Not of BaMl HI". Students of architect UTS have often wondered by two tow-is of Notre Dame are uot of eipial size, though I . . ti, ..iiuiiiil nlts-tri-Mi they appear so Tbe explanation Is rather a urlous one. It appears that, when the cathedral wns built, the cathedral of a suffragan bishop was not entitled to two towere of equal size, nml for eeiiturles the Bishop of I'arls was suffrugau to the Bishop of Sens. A Risk to Una. "I never give Henry BOChttOI for presente." "Why not?" "If be doesu't like Iheui be makes me t Uicm." .aaws : taj.-3.Ai Is to Mud a remarkably Interesting per- wnallty concealed beneath the rude nml UttCOUth exterior It Is Interesting to listen to Menetlk'S public speeches, u diversion from the ordinary cares of court life, which ha stvms greatly to enjoy, touring con stantly through his kingdom ami ha ranguing his subjects In a manner that would do Credit to the most astute poli tician on a stumping tour. He Is a keen and Incisive aaswoner. Ills listeners stand lu frout of him thrcu or tout hours. Ills chief pride naturally Is In bis well .irganlzcd ami disciplined army, a large part of which Is couiNscd of women. Here It Is that Ills masterful genius as a soldier llnds play, and It has teen worked almost to a state of absolute perfection lu discipline. In tbe Inst few yours be bus Invited Herman ami Bus slau military Instructors to aid him In the work, supplementing his own prac tical knowledge with thu benefits of their theoretical education. The drill ing of these forcea forms part of the royal dally routine, and the traveler to Ihe Imperlul capital at Gondar may see him on many occasions at the head of bis troops parading through the narrow streets for the delectation of his ador ing subjects, for among his people Men ellk Is ndmlnsl with a veneration that 1 1 st amounts to delllcatlou. Menellk's hublts are regular and, un like the majority of Oriental poten tates, he Is neither n gourmund nor an excessive drinker, while his morals are of a rharscter thut would not disgrace the kgVt attainments of our own civilized ethical code. As a ruler he shows none of the bloodthirsty ami sav age traits of former Abyssinian mon nrchs, nnd the laws which he has de vised for the government of his king dom nre models of wisdom and Justice, Mcnellk does not claim Infallibility; he lias the honesty of purpose to discover correct his own shortcomings, and. 1 1 together, sets ail example of dlgnllled mil advanced rulershlp of which no civ il zed monarch neitl be ashamed. IVE BGGM COTTAGE. esr.i'g w" is., i led. The walls outside are painted ami Inside are BnUhed with hard phis ter. The Interior trim Is of natural Ba ndied while pine. For u compact, convenient cottage. In are go 'Mi. 12 a I . I Drvnf a.i4- m fpd Po.xm IO-I3 Porlo,' 1 144-15" IOl. with every facility for doing thu work of the household with the leust Hum ber of steps; for an attractive and pie tUTOOqUO collage, with moderate prices Hitachi d. we do not know of any plan more appropriate than this. -E. A. Payne. CHEAP RABBIT TRAP. Device Hhown Here la Fald to He an Immense Success. Select four plec-s of ordinary 0-Inch fencing board 2 to '1 Inches long. Nail t hem together so us to form a Isjx, closing otn- end, The top pic e should I n Inch shorter than the others. Null the bottom ami top boards to the side Isiards, thus milking the oehlug 0 Inches perpendicularly and 4 Inches horizontally. A sibling door Is then made t tit neatly into the open cud and two pieces of lath null- I against the end of the H-rM-ndlcular boards, projecting one half Inch Inside. The door then slides down botWOOfl the shorter Upper Isaml and the projecting edges of the lath. To supHrt Ihe door n niece of lath Is nailed on each side of the door ami notched at the uper end. (a) Trap set ready for rabbit (hi rlsrer: idl bole for trigger with piece of hoop Iron for catch; e) top vlewr of door and door slides; (D lath support for door when trap Is open. Ti,.- simple cross shown at c supports the door. One eud la tied to the door by of tbe Viceroy to give nudlaaoe to a nn- tlve Maharajah ttooa, when It Is her duty to advance and meet blm on the threshold, nud duly wave him to u seat, nfter which her American tact prompts her to spenk of tbe satisfaction It Is to see him lu ber home, to Inquire after the health of her distinguished guest ami his family, nnd to pay him all the usual compliments of the season. As the ladles of Ibe vlceroyolty generally make It nnderetOOd Hint they can ac cept no gifts of value from their sub jects the exchange of tokeus Is confined to photographs. "Two thousand guests are sometimes present at the state balls, wiu-u thu r Ice-royal party Is conducted by an Im posing procession to and from the as sembly, which Is opened by the iiiad rllle of honor at about ten o'clock. After this I ..I. I and Lady Curzon hold a reception, nud tho warm climate makes these wearing events upon the hosts and hostess. That tbe soclul ad ministration of Ijidy Curzon will not fall behind those of her predecessors was evidenced by orders for thirty five thousand Invitations, programs and cards of various sorts being given In London previous to her departure for India. "One of the delicate duties of the lady of the vlceroyal muuslon Is to learn the rules of management govern ing the native servants, for these have their places us unalterably tlxed by caste as persons In higher stations. In the bedchamber service there Is not one or two brisk clinmlH-rmalils to do up a room as In America, but tbe various Items lu the alm.-st trilling work ure divided among seven or eight men ser vants, and this Is tbe rule throughout an Indian establishment. I.ady Cur zon's body servant stands or sleep . out side the door to her room constantly, and when she goes to drive alone an other attendant rides In the carriage with her, and at any time would glvu his life for her proti-otlon." 1 1-.. utile in the Camp. "There seemed to lie a rather acrimo nious discussion going on as I went by heudfunrters." "Yes," said the Salvation Army cap tain sadly. "Brother Jones, who beats the drum, happened to say to Brother Smith, who does most of the preaching, that actions spoke louder tbau words." Indianapolis Journal. IT COVERS THREE FINGERS. The 27,O0O Hlna Owned by Mra. Clar ence Mackay. Here Is a picture of the remarkable ring owned by Mrs, Clarence Mackay, f New Y'ork. It cost 'J7,000, Is the only ring of Its kind In America, and was made originally for a Hindoo Rajah, The central Jewel Is a magnificent ruby valued at $1.1,000. Below and DDtU the ruby are emeralds of ex quisite color, which are a trltle taller Marin ( ioeA I ii. I. In China, which has long been known as "the land of opposltea," tbe dlala of clocks are made turn round, while the hands stand still. In curios l Ion. "What's a dog pound, papa?" "Sixteen ouueee. Now keep stilt" kilts, mackat's rkmaiikaih.b himu. In stse than the matchless ruby, and at either side of the ruby are beautifully cut diamonds. Altogether the gold set ting holds five gems. In length the ring measures two and a half Inches, aud It Is one and a half Inches high. The setting Is most curious, and In It self Is a work of art. It Is delicately carved with tiny dragon's head, while around tbe edges are the gleaming, p.. Mod teeth. The ring Is quite un comfortable to wear, but that docs not seem tu bother Mrs. Mackay In the least. Hold and M -epy. The boldness of wolves and coyotes In the presence of man la well known. It Is not uncommon," says the au thor of "Adventures In Mexico," "for these animals to guaw thu straps of a saddle ou which your heed la repoauig for a pillow." 'One night," says Mr. Buxton, "whllo encamped on on affluent of the Platte, a heavy snowstorm falling at the time. I Isy down In my blanket, after first heaping on the Are a vast pile of wood to burn till morulng. "In the middle of the night I was awakened by the excessive cold, and turning toward the Ore which waa burning bright, what was my astonish ment to sea a large gray wolf sitting quietly before It, bis eyea cloaed and hie bead nodding In Ihenr drowstneoa. I looked at blm, and then closed '"' eyes and went to Bleep, leaving him to the quiet eujujiuent of the biase."