.... , I I I
pflT BOKO iu jaiu.
ulSOURI COUNTY REBtLLION
l5S,..c SUPPRESSION.
MCJ
T,rm, n I'rUon for I on-
. varr -- . . .
VCT . . t ll,
lt'"' '
k in history it i"-- riic-t
N""v ' Hi.. fiiriiuTK 01
lt 10 - T. ...i... ut..,..l.
i..r I UU i-'.-' ..
f . . .. rnlf of MM WW, unu
CfS .heir DlhMl '' "bO uro
- iii imi " .
uiu . .. ..III. in UU '
k - Im u lnu" 1
rftDW e..----- -
T imiied "'H '!in T
Z-tm r air ' . . . .....
n ' ' - . . i-1 I , . 1 1 1 " r l TIM 1-1 M
i.,iii Ihowera i . ... .
i .,. inc " .
....... rutin .
-Huff ll..!'"'.1" . T
. .1... , i . i I
ffr Mil I'" I 1 . .... .,.... i
..,ri that
When lie did serve thou rhe oitVr
was Ignurod. The j mm opposed
to the UU, Ud even If they favored u
knew the temper of tbtlf people too
well to tukc cbancen. Tboa nn ordtr of
arrest for contempt of court wai
ut'd ami the Jodgea hauled t Kaaaai
city for hearing. Judge aaabel Heath,
Tbbmai J. Younger, John Broaden,
John P. Love und Tbo mat Henley IT tit
the flrst DM0 to Buffer voluntary lin
prlsnumctit rather than pay whut they
believed to be an unjust debt,
fouit'ui". ,llC began, the poonje
.. ii. V..'" i ' '"'cause of their wrath
7. ... ... ,u" "',0" Now Iktl
1 " "P V','1'"" '"' COUld not py
f thov wniilii. Tin. ... . . 1
. 1
SS I III u.j ,
. i m J . ii
IIMW i a 5eMil". t
,t.(I.MR OOIWTT COVKI IIOUsK.
. nil ll.'l' .1 1 1 ' 1 1 I I IM 111 I'dll, HUH
. ..ivf.r nil :Lmi rut uu i n )ii
.A..-.r it T ho ctMiri ii:is Minn
.i tti f I'fiiiiir k t ri" ii l' 1 1 1 ir
...ninii,.. itin ii tu-ii. 1 1 1 ' 1 1 i p i i ' 1 1
I'UUI.MIl . .
... .1 .11 n ri Inl.lIi'S. 1 1 H lUctlltim
ilfcrwi and its wrath. Am. I In twrn
rean U bun tD0T6d thom not one
T. . Ita ni'iH'V ci II 1 1 ni'i ii. I l(u
riKir. v n t "
...i.. ..f m I if I nun t h:ivu nn.
mmmAi . will lint ' mill the hlutiirf
thfir itm-yteMlDf retponte is the
.f ilrrlil U'lfllllllt IllllMlllnl 111
ft srnrv nf nt('iilfMRtmsH atnlt.
. ... 1 I M ll ...1 irii,,, I i ..... I
Hint i.,i4i
I.v f i... ',,,ni,"n
from If'i'iO.OOO to over $1,K),oiw. ThI
asiHHed vtiluatlnn of Ue eatlre eouwy
Is only $l,(Min,UMW, so k wHI bv twa thrt
ty Ihsiu' the levy aeewswwry In Mm Mfi
tWk deht wwh1i eualWu-ate vveiy m're
f ktnJ in t. Chilr. The proph? are
wining In eMHiproinlKv and pay the fare
trf the ImihiIs, but as this offer hi reject
ed they keep up the battle.
After a few courts had been locked
up In a body candidates for the otllce
became volunteers willing to ro to Jail
! BreYlIt a tax levy. For nearly thirty
years the war has continued, and Is not
ended yet. F.vcry time Judge I'hlllps
Openi court he Muds a group of three
patient typical southwestern Missouri
farmers in court waiting for commit
ment to Jail. He offers them advice
and admonition. They reply with the
stated offer of compromise, nud of
course are turned dowu. Theu tbo
Judge winds It all up by wearily order
ing bis marshal to lock them up. Hut
the bonds have nut been paid, nor any
of the Interest. The Federal authorities
nre puzzled, and the cople of St. Clair
determined. How It will end, If it ever
does get out of court. Is a iuestlou for
chancery to wrauglc with.
There are L'.'.OUO or 30,000 persons In
Rt. Clair Couuty. These, save 1,500 at
Osceola, as many at Appletou City, and
half as many at Lowrey, arc farmers
and fanners' folk. They are a typo of
people who have had much to do wltb)
the settlement and development of the
United States. They represent, ns It
Is represented In Missouri and tuo
south Alleghatilan hills of east Tennes
see and Kentucky, as In no other parts
of tbe I'ulon, the slinon pure Anglo
Kaxou stock In the new world. Their
ancestors came over lu the Mayflower
and others of the first of the emigrant
craft. They nre au admixture of tho
Drlton and the Scot, and all their an-
MUOVV OF JUIKJES WHO HAVE GONE TO JAIL.
Un'll Hill. Ill I. Iltrl.iliil w I .'II I I
di.tli.l I ...in I... I I...1 fili.l I it 1 1-11 T
I .1. . .... 1.1..I ...I.I
. r. - i,i lu. i-i.fiiHi.l to bear arms.
u; tin- sieuuiasiuess oi uie viiuuuus
Iranee, who concealeil taxatile
mill mi rlleil nwnv assessors.
The case Is a page from the history
nllronil exploitation lu the West in
nriv iiis. t. uiair uouuu is a
or the Osage country not ricu in
i .Hi. it tl .. ... i
a It U n til ft I r piiimtrv iltHtrlrt
urmination oi tuo iwrnsn auu
IT Tift r 'i .1 . I In liit 1 1 1 If u iirni lion fn
I n e viir.i i r r t'.mra i . i in a
I Hi., tix VI In r ii. iu ill V.i.ln I In
! tl..
So whi'ti thp ndvnncp ncontn of the
fuoand Neosho Hallway weut to Os-
tlie ront. from Kansas City to Bel-
Ihmurl illuiMe...i ..o.,naiiiA Iai
in." iiii.nu iur i 1 1 b i ( f ii i vri
bund Issue. St. Clair accented and
...... ...,, i l M , till II I III' IH'll-
I lu .. 1 .
' Mill. 1 II S
j vlv ciiiiDnea on in
ii'iii innii' i flu i-MiititT
ii rriit ii.ni ....... . . .
u ,11 t- ii, i it i 1- in .
Ii) I ll IN ti n.
1,1 iM (it'livenMi when
f II I ..f r.....l I.. . . -
'""I II II 1'iitiulrilefi.i
..7 "'"1 tout K renin wns
im nil' rruiil M( ..r u inn t in
IT. fc""H'u (oroufl 1 the who e
V
Tb." Wn" W'llsfnetorT to the neonle.
ni-!.eneu I ha t m,.r il... ....ni.iv
.iinieil in,, euuntv of nil l.roleel.
eoBilliii.ii. .....i . . . ..
. " ""'I ui;reeii in Oi er
-"".il contract! nn been let f..r
"a .ov. a, ibiul the
Hit,, ul. ...... i .
mil "VllimU I ii. II
-nu limit am iinli...lv ..u..,i. i.
."w ' 1h Rn 1 1... 1...1.1.... .w.
In .1 7 . . .
i "
- I .1 -l 'I I lltl II... I 1 ; . . .
v uuiia-r inw.
piple refused to pay the first
- i-.i.. iineresi ami learneil
'lle of tin. 1 ti
. -,......,. . ii. -,, in,-.
i. ..i .. . .
me ,,,,. tiiinir and sat
n.lil. .1
i, ,1 .'ii ir. i. ....i.i i. .i.i
' llll'IIl. Ilnl I.. Iv-n .....
.. hi in,.. Mini u i
--i.iiiii ,,r I ... Imiiii M mill
, Ka"",t 'he county. Then Judge
. iiniiiiiauius nn ine emin.
Kry JJ: 'n'l'inn.Ung the Judges to
IWr0in.D.,HrMry The Judge.
h tM . """'"H f tbe marshal
k " "r,1, r tool to the woods, ami
M.i,u. Ug ,ltue before the officer
w to lerve hit miners.
cestrnl characteristics of never-btnd-lug
detcrmiuatiou and unyielding stub
bornness are apparent In this QDlqtM
light of the people of St. Clair County.
Said one leaiUug resident: "Afore
we'll give up they'll have to build a
Jail around the whole county, and lock
us up, women, children and all. I guess
this thing looks pretty funny to people
on the outside, but there's nothing
funny about It to a man with n home
and a farm lu St. Clair County, and a
lot of money sharks waitlu' to gobble
It the first time there's uoliody comes
forward to go to Jail.
A FAMOUS COURTHOUSE.
In' Now lltmnlUhnl Hnliui,,,, , im.
noU Lincoln Itiwt t'pbehl Ms, vary.
On the foundation stones of one of
the roost funion und hltoite Ktruc
tures of the West the people of C lei
Couuty, Illinois, are now orpctlllg a
new courthouie. The old county com t
house was built lu 1830 and was tb
ceue of muuy a great legal bat tit, in
which tome of the most distinguished
men of their day were actors. Among
the noted lawyers who UgureJ it: eases
which tre entered on the rlocktt of
the Oo'es County Cln ult Court, were
Lincoln iw. J Dens;', TnunhnM and
Shields. UWi A I.vyaa mU .l.ihs M.
Palmer, Jaaa a. HccthumI tad
'IMe,T..'- 0"tr, THoa" Valtt,
It mm i"twu.'wil,X..,'J,itfr;
Abraham Lktetta Wjmnd aw co.asui
fr a s4avrtiolder who was trilng :
recover bis hnn,:M chattels, anl a
defeated liy l.luder and FUklln. The
trial attracted national attention and
large iiumliors of people from all ov, r
the country attended.
I. nder the Illinois constitution of
that day slavery win not recognised
as legal; yet to placate slaveholders, a
provision was made to allow the slaves
then In the State to remain In IkiiiiI
age, but no more slaves were to lie
brought Into Illinois. Every free negro
coming to the State had to give bond
for his good behavior, and every slave
brought Into the State after the adop
lion of the constitution am) remaining
t year became a free man legally
Some time dur'ng the '30s a slavehold
tr from near Lexington, Ky., came to
Coles County, some twenty miles north
of Charleston, and entered upon a sei
tlou of government laud. He was lu
tbe habit of bringing from his Ken
tUCkjr plantation twenty to thirty tie
groes every sp- lug to cultivate his
Coles County lands and taking them
back before the expiration of the year,
tnd, by repeating thlt process from
year to year, evaded the law which
would have grven freedom to the no
groes had they remained in the State
twelve months.
Finally the slave master became
cnreleso and allowed the slaves to re
main a few days over a year. Friends
of the slaw . Invoked the law lu their
behalf and It was In this case on lie
half of the slave owuer that Lincoln
llgurcd.
The old courthouse was the Beetle
of a sensational lynching Feb. 14, 1800,
On that day Dolph Monroe was to
have been hanged for the murder of
a&
4k
TWMM I Wild i iilrTfcl 11
old coi.es tovxrv oouaTHouia.
MAP SMOWINQ EXTENT OF HI RRICANE SERVICE.
J
s. s n.fr ef 1 " ZT Mai
OUR M'lMiKT OF FUN. I
Aetideetlag the .i.-i ..n of the ttrtlee the Oertraawat hat ttttbheatd tart.
tide heailiiiRrters for the West ladltH StontWaralng system, ttdcf the dlfettloa
t the weather hiireau, und hat directed that the tqejatatal Is' intirel) itmodsltd
iml hfeaaht up to date. Tin- Irs) itty la tht new plsts wtt the wroortl of the
n-ntrsl oSet from Kingston to Havana, lliiring the Inst n awatht the (inrern
meat lius btn gaining viiltinble Mperlenee in the operation of the system in the
West In, lies, Central and South America and the the Mexinin golf matt, and
1 s result it has developed A comprehensive plan of daily iventher repoita from
thtt Important region, stations bars been tetahllthed at the principal ioiat.
Slid daily observations will DC re ted.
The most itumrtnnt isiints ineliided in the sjstetn, n nt present tfgtnlttdi are
Havana. Baatlago, Kingston. Colon, Baate Domingo, Ran Jnta, St. Toon is, st.
Kitts, Dominica, Uartlnbine, Darbtdoe, Trinidad, Ouracoa, Veru Orna, OotUa-
cosleos, Tanipieo, Meriila. Nns-nn. QatdlloUpti The ICCOOiptBytng map i s re
priMluetiou of one prepsnsl by Willis I,. Uoore, chief of the weather bureau, show
ing the location of the points of observation sud the cable eoanectloai lined
established.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND
INGS HERE AND THERE.
DO-
Jew, ami JokrlrU thut An Huiiord
to Have llrrn K. -. nil. Itnrn Hnjiiiiu
ant ,mvi Wnat are Oddi Cariewe tod
Itaaajsmttai vu vr. ,. ,..
No Cause fur Alarm.
"It l feared In some quarters that the
letter It Hill soon become obsolete."
"h, there's no need to worry on that
score. As long as the Joke writers and
the oyater inrrlre the a win reuiaiu."
1iWi.it ItUmniat
l'o t j.-n Uilmlr Wngar'' iiHliwd
tie- OUU WUUUWO W BO 1 foud Of BlO
gka,
'Yes." sVJMttjeai the young man with
Hide ears, "lie as all light for his I
day. Hut we can't form a fair estimate
of what he might have done If he had
"-Washington
routed
Star.
tssateeallateh
' what could have caused
some of that cannon . . ,
1 - iiii-i, ...,t
so badly, said an aiinv contractor.
"Neither do I," answered his partner,
unless It was the language some of
those OtflCOrV may have used lu It- pfog
once."- Washluglon Star.
Nol I. W, It.
Ratoarasjetaoav.
Young Author What did yon think
of (he story I had In the Tamala Maga
zine last mouth.
Miss Mlffklns It was the last one
you have ever written at hast 500
u wJh ahartef than any of the others, I
wWW ni),
fr t,.liliw.
VI m r,efc Ibssry. who h VWm Mvanb
f. -I 'I. - '.liy the) ' U b. H KlUklllg
about' W hat does It HIOI1M?
Mr. I. Well, t. give y.m a Wmaely
Illustration, It was a ease of manifest
destiny when you set jour cap for me.
iti'i i ,.-.
t ....... .. ...i....
fortune?:!...1"
my face
iver that
UNCLE DICK OGLESBY.
BIQ LOG OF WALNUT.
Tree Seven Feet in DtotBtttf and Twen
tythree Keet In Ctrcunifercnce.
The picture shows a section of one
of the black walnut trees recently pur
chased by a Mlshawaka, I in., lumber
company. There were flfty-one trees
lu the clump, located In Cass County,
Michigan, and the price paid was $10,
000 lu cash. The section shown In the
7
s r.
ij.
MONSTIIOI'S I.OO OF WAI.Nl'T.
picture It 100 feet long. 22.00 feet In
circumference and 7 feet In diameter.
Five men with arms extended can en
compass the tree, and there are a num
ber of others In t.llve onjYbcBTAOB
bar of others of the same slse In the
clump. The trees are lielng felled, cut
up and shipped to Knglnnd.
Marriage IM Melbourne.
A man cau be married lu Melbourne
ehaapeg than In any other part of the
world. Ministers advertise In the pa
pers against each other. One offers to
bind together loving couples for 10a
Od, another for 7 Bd, and so on down
to 2s Od. In some cases wedding break
fasts and rings are thrown In-Tlt-Bltt.
After a man has dono wroug he tie
glus to talk of the narrowness of those
ho have been good, or who have uol
been found out
his father-In law. Just liofore the hour
of execution a reprieve was received
from the Coventor. Hut the 10,ti00
people who had come to witness the
execution would not have It so. '
mob was formed and the doors of th
Jail, which occupied one corner of the
courthouse, were quickly battered In
and Monroe's lifeless body was soon
swinging from a tree In the western
part of the town.
Some years after Monroe's tragic
death, the Jail in this same old court
house was again visited by a mob, and
ita strong iron doors battered down
and a negro was strung up to n tele
graph pole. In fact the old building
In its long lifetime had many stormy
days and dark deeds. It was the cen
ter of the fight that raged around tht
public square on March 20, IStil, when
the famous "Charleston raid" occur
red. The raiders entrenched thein
selves at the courthouse and shot nt
IM'ople at they dodged In and out of
the stores. A half-dozen men were
killed and wounded before a company
of soldiers came and drove thein from
the town.
KISSES THE WORLD OVER.
How fill, ii nt Nations Look at the
Mutter.
In France there are thousands of op
porttiulttes for plentiful kissing. Broth
era kiss sisters, husbands kiss wives,
friends each other. It would even be
thought prudish should n young lady
refuse to offer her check for a kiss to
a friend of the family on his departure
or return after a long absence. In Eng
land kissing among members of a fam
ily Is less common. Men never kiss one
nnotlier. Still more restrained are they
In Scotland, where a woman would con
sider It beneath her dignity If she kiss
ed her grown up sons, and mothers are
sparing of caresses even for their little
buys.
In northern lands the kiss Is reserved
exclusively for love, probably for the
reason that the people there always
kiss the mouth, which gives to this ex
pression of affection the character of
great Intimacy. It Is comprehensible
under such circumstances that young
girls should bravely defend their rosy
llpt against the attacks of bold cousins,
and the stealing of a kiss should be
looked uihiu by tbe law as a punishable
offense, for which n flue Is Impoaed.
The definition of a kiss by a Chinese Is
Interesting. A mandarin who traveled
In (he West for the purpose of learning
the European customs was greatly per
plexed in trying to explain a kiss a
thing unknown In his country. "The
kiss," he writes, "Is an act of courtesy,
consisting In bringing the lips of one
person Into contact with the chin of
another, whereby a sound Is produced."
Kissing, however, Is not a privilege
reserved exclusively for love; there are
ocaslotis w hen It Is prescribed by court
ell, in, tte. On tbe occasion of the
Crown Prince of Greece's wedding,
says tbe Munehener Allegemelne Zel
tung. the bride, Princess Sophie of
l'russln, the Kaiser's sister, was oblig
ed to bestow no less than 150 kisses.
The King of Greece received three
kisses, so did his Queen, so did the
Bmpreaa frederlck, ami the King and
gin , n of Denmark, and Kaiser Wll
helm and the F.mprcss, while nil the
princes nnd princesses present received
ope kiss apiece. The loor Crown Prin
cess on leaving the church must have
had all the kissing she wanted, and
can have had few kissel kfl for tht
wldlug Journey.
Farmer, Mine-, I.swrer, Ornernt, Hen
ator und Covirnor.
No man In Illinois enjoys to greater
extent the confidence and respect or
bis fellow citizens than Richard J.
Oglesby, General, ex Governor and
former Fulled States Senator. He
has also been a woodsman, teamster,
farmer, California miner, lawyer and
traveler.
Uncle Dick Oglesby, as he Is famil
iarly called, was born In Kentucky In
MM and was left au orphan at till
age of 8. He moved 10 Illinois iuuui
that time, lie served lu the Mexican
war and In the war for the I'ulon, re
signing from the army lu Uol to no
come Governor of Illinois. He served
as Governor until 1806 and from 1878
to 1S70 was United States Senator.
For almoat half a century he has been
... I,. i...
a Kiwer lu tuo itcpumn au pontics ui
his adopted State.
Speaking of his earlier career Uncle
Dick says: "I tried farming one sum
mer and clcaiod Just t&BO. it struck
me then that I was not cut out for a
farmer, and I decided to study law. 1
went down to Springfield to read with
Judge RobBlnt, and, of course, I
tackled Blackstone the first thing. I
had never read a book through lu my
life theu, and the big words nearly
floored me. Judge Hobblns suggested
that 1 read Kngllsh history along with
my law books, ami asked me what I
could rememlier of my history. 'I have
never rend any. Judge,' 1 said.
' 'What, no Kngllsh history? 'No.'
"'No American history? 'No.'
"Well, what have you read'.'' asked
ihe Judge as he looked at mo severely.
"Nothing, Judge; never read a book
Shrough In my life.'
"'Why, Dick, bow In the devil do
you expect to become a lawyer?' asked
Judge Robblns then.
"I told him," says the ex-Governor,
"that I knew several lawyers who
never read anything, never had
anything, didn't know anything
pita Mrs. Bardell and the lady lu
yellow curl papers), more blameless
lu his relations with women? Who
more gaily put himself In peril to res
cue virtue In distress? Who was more
flery on the point of honor, eveu if his
attitude of soif defense was unscien
tific? lu whom do we mark a hand
more open, a heart more tender or
moie eager to forgive?
Indeisl, Mr. PlckWlck seems "scarce
other )han my own Ideal knight,"
though "a knight sin amor," like the
good Earl Marlsehal. Ills foibles are
amiable; Ins scutcheon Is while as the
pennon of Brian TuuetaL He did not
shun the bowl; nor did Socrates, who,
to be sure, like Dr. Johnson, had the
stronger head. These cxi-esses of the
Pickwickian! are to bo taken In a
Pickwickian sense; they are as syni
bollcal as Materliuck, and Infinitely
more entertaining.
As to the method or plot, Pickwick
lias ie, and needs none. It is not a
novel, but tometblng far letter. It Is
Pickwick, the breviary of kindly men.
"Delightful book:" as Thackeray
cries when Dugald Dalgetty'i name
comes Into bis mind. "To think of It
Is to want to Jump up and take It down
from the shelf." It opens to US a
world literally crowded wllh human
iicings, of whom tin- least Important
even are permanent creations, friends
w hom wo do not forget.
read
i and
ill
M ite Very Well. George, If you will
go shooting mill. I if you get blown to
bits don't come home running to uie for
sympathy; Exchange.
Mnklnii Hut a fuse.
Lawyer Upon what grounds do you
Wish to sue for divorce?
Client Im patlblllty of tempera
mentl Hi writes poetry, mid 1 like to
vat occasionally. I'm k.
III i ll A lltl j. ont.isiiv.
hadn't any sense, either, and I guessed
I could lie a lawyer If they could.
"Then I buckled down and read
Hhickstone and several other law
books, and presented myself Isrfore
Judge Breeze for examination. We
hn,l a Imr of cider and a bushel of
apples to treat the Judges and we all
went through.'
Explaining why he became an a boll
tlonist while Isirn in Kentucky he
said: "Uncle Tim was the principal
cause of It. Uncle Tlui was the only
slave In the family, and bad descend"
ed from my grandfather to mjr father.
In order to divide up the very little
property that my father left us when
he died, Uncle Tim had 10 Ik- sold at
auction. I shall never forget bow he
looked OS he stisid on th" IhiX ready
for sale. He was a powerful man,
with a manly hearing, a flue face,
and a skin as black ns eoonj, lie
had always tioeu fond of us children,
and I thought almost as much of him
- ... . ...!..... 'II... I . ... mm
as I utu or my uiun. i.-um
streamed down his face and he begged
my father's brother to buy him, but
this could not be done.
Uncle Tim," I laid as I went up to
him, H'm going to worn aim earn the
money to buy you and sd you free."
Ills face lighted up with pride and
pleasure, and then somen uacg into
a look of despair.
"'Tank y,' Marse Dick, he said.
But yo's a pore orphan an' won't Deb-
her be rich nutr to iuy i m ie i tm.
He was sold and brought $400, Is-lng
past his best working days. In H4'.i I
went to California, and, after a hard
pull of It, I got together several thou
land dollars. I lent tbe money at
jnce to my brother, .'it'1' Uncle Tim
vas purchased and freed.
MR. PICKWICK.
BELOVED
Andrew
I.anic I t. the Hear Houl a
Ju.t Tribute.
If Mr. riekwhk h no; a gentleman
of course nol lu the heraldic euuno,
1Z .4 i. i,.,ir.w t mmm I.. .1...
ADO 111 nsm .n'. - " ... ,h tnv
.... ... I
i ort tj lift t Iv ItfUi". nau "as ever
nvre cvurtroua and conside- 4e
POINTS FOR PODUNK'S HOTEL.
How to Itulld mi ICstruvuBanl Menu
(lut of Commonplace Muterlsla.
He winked familiarly at the landlord
as he paid his bill, and lu a confiden
tial tone remarked)
"l don't mind telling you that I am
thinking of going Into the hotel busl
ness myself for a change. Yes, sir.
that s so! I've liought the biggest place
uu- sine iu loiiuiiK, ami mclibc you
wouhln t mind telling me a few things
about keeping a hotel teein you're
right In the business. There's the menu,
now; some little points on that might
work. We dou't know everything dowu
in 1'odunk."
The landlord rubbed the bald ssit on
his brow and thought a moment.
mere a cnicaeu croquettca." he
said; "chicken conies high this time of
year."
"I see."
"Not one In a thousand can tell the
difference between veal and chicken."
"lieewhllllkens! There's a pointer to
start with."
"Fried chicken costs money. Fried
rmmmm ih-b one n, nun mt. DJBOfOBCaJ
gnes i ii 1 1 your pocKel.
"Colly, I'm gettln rich already."
"Quail on toast reads line on the
menu. You don't aupose we folks In
the city pamper our guests on real
(nall? Baby owls taste so much like
quail you can't tell one from t'other.
And out your way owls must be thick
ns pumpkins. Then there's beef. Of
course you've hcurd of the hlppopha
gous theory?"
T h e-the w h a t?"
"Click! click! Yes, old racers. You
can buy them by the bunch of a hum
dred fur n song."
The man from Podunk turned pale.
"I guess I've got all the points I can re
member nt once, and If you ever come
our way give me a call. Hood day.
Fried rabbit? Owls on toast! H l pp op.
I reckon I'll call the line there. Qreat
business, this hotel keeping, anyhow."
-Chicago Times Herald.
No,
Are
Two Hinds of People.
the two kinds of people on earth I
nean,
the people who lift and the people
w ho lean.
Wherever you go, you will Dml the world's
masses
Are always divided In Juat these two
classes.
Aud oddly enough, you will find, too, I
ween.
There is ouly one lifter to twenty who
lean.
In which class are you? Are you easing
the loud
Of overtaxed lifters who toll down the
road?
Or nre yon a leaner, w ho lets others bear
Your portion of latmr and worry sud care?
EJIS Wheeler WileoX.
K new 1 I .- in.
Professor Name the bones of the
gknlL
Student Why cr- I've got 'em all In
aiy head, but I can't Just think of the
names, sir. Boston Traveler.
l.ona Parted.
Young I.obhyloungiT Have you seen
Mil. Charmll, the new premiere dalis
Vlise?
Old (ireybeard Not since 1 was a
boy. Boston Traveler.
Alum, the Oppo.lte.
Lusher You can uever tell what a
Woman meant by w hat she says.
(usher Yes?
Lusher 1 got In nt 4 the other morn
ing, aud my wife said: "A ulce hour
tor you to come houie, Isn't It? Now
York Journal.
W II. Ill)
Idea.
Itlliele Wlolt hnm . ul
tllllin? "
Sprogles I w as on one ,,, . .
when the bribing wat dona but thefelP
lows wltli money didn't approach me,
because, as I have Just learned, they
thought I bad too honest a face.
Ihe Fi.rrluiiei'a MUtnke.
The foreigner What n happy people
Americans must be! I can tell as much
by their springy, buoyant step.
The citizen That ain't any sign.
They've contracted the cake walk hab
it, that's all. Indianapolis Journal.
Pound apaee ut i.nt.
Wlk' Is It so that Khymers has for
saken the muse and taken to studying
astronomy ?
Wag Yes, poor fellow; he couldn't
find space anywhere else, you kuow.
Philadelphia Record.
Natural.
Magistrate You say the defendant
turned ami whistled to the dog. What
followed 1
Intelligent wllness The dog. Bos
ton Traveler.
MdnM Want Much.
Doting mamma Rodney, dear, to
morrow Is your birthday. What would
you like last?
Rodney dear (after n brief season of
cogitation) I think I'd like to see tbo
schoolhouse burn dow n. I'm k.
Proved.
Brlggs Did you ever try to write
down all the utterly senseless thing!
that came Into your head?
(irlggs Certainly. Haven't I been
engaged? Detroit Free l'rcsi.
Hemlnlscent.
Mr Slowboy I uever Jump at con
clusions. Mrs. Slowboy It Is unnecessary for
you to tell me that. Probably the ouly
Jump you ever made lu your life wui
when papa reached fur you thut time
ou the stepi.
A Faithful Follower.
I ,r in, Utilised.
"We are terribly cramped for space
la our lint."
"That so?"
"Yes; we even have to use the fain
Oy skeleton for a hutrack."- Chicago
Record,
Rarely.
"What kind of worklngman are
you?" asked the easy one, after giving
up the dime. "Common laborer"
"Naw," said Dismal Dawson. "Un
common." Indianapolis Journal.
Useless Trouble.
"Prof. Oarner Is going hack to Africa
to study the monkey language."
"Pshaw ! Why does he go to so much
trouble? Can't he get Into any of the
golf clubs)"
A Hlrkler for "-Titem.
The Judge You are charged with
lystematleally robbing your employer.
t he Defaulter Well, I licllcve In do
big tilings systematically. -Puck.
Ilia (lunar.
Gorki ul likes to make a great show
of his dogs aud his guns and his other
bunting paraphernalia, doesn't hoi"
"Yes, and It's very foolish of him to
do so, too. Why, lie never killed any
thing In his life that I kuow of."
'till, then you didn't hear about that
guide lie laid low last fall."
A (.iii.uol.ii .
C VILLI,
c
ever I
Ide-J
The Heal Owner.
'Do you own your own home, Twee
dies?"
"No we've had the tit tuo cook seven
years."
Praceful IniHuna,
"Are the iudlaiis mar your ranch
troublesome?"
Naw; they ain't got nothiu we
w ant. t levelaud Flam IHtaler.
ll Is uonellmea more difficult to win
-- . "TSSl
Ihe fathers ear thin the ihiughter!
hand.
The il, ml idler probably died at ill
Host
r
Clilmmie If I dou't wear It Mag will
never speak to me agin, an' If I do do
gnng'll mob inc. New York Newt.
A I c" Flan.
"How Is your son getting along with
his literary work, Mr. Buckingham?"
' "1 dou't believe he's inukltl' much
headway. Nobody .-nn t accused him of
tteallu' uny of hit wrltlti's from any
body else, so I guets they can t amount
to much."
In th Hark.
Wife (ominously) I kuow where you
were last night, sir!
Husband ilrrltablyi-Tbea why don't
you tell met Can't you see I'm in no
piood to he kept lu suspense?- Detroit
Journal.
Tber riomellmaa Pa.
"Clothes, you must rememlier, do not
Biake the man."
That's where you're wrong. I havs
known many a man whoso wife's
clothes made him hustla like the dick-
The Saint -Well, do you want to come
In or don't you?
The Simpleton Thanks, old chap,
but I think I II wait and see what the
deah pWinCC Is going to do, ye kuow.
Exchange.
The Weat Pointer.
"What a peculiar bronchial trouble
young Chevrons has? He creaks every
time he breathes."
"Pooh! That's his new corsets."
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Al) the Hanie to Her.
"In one respect every woman Is am
bidextrous." "How do you make that out?"
"She can throw Just us well with her
left hand as with her right"
HomelhlnK Wrong.
"This orchard picture Is a ported," ex
claimed the enthusiastic studio visitor.
"But I Intended It for an apple or
chard," said the artist, plaintively.
Detroit Freu Press.
Il the -mo. in,,,.
"We want another Quarter column
for first page."
"Well, you can either kill the Em
peror of China again, or relate an anec
dote of Dewey." Puck.
Pome (Ither Malady.
"I have dyspesla, but you never hear
me growl about It."
"Never growl about It? Well, then,
you haven't got It." Chicago Becord.
I.Ike Futhrr. Like 8nn.
Mother Johnny, you go right to lied.
Johnny Yessutn, but you bet yer life
w hen I get big I'll Join n club like pa
belongs to tnd then 1 won't have V go
t bed at all If I dou't wuut to. -Jewish
Comment.
I hr oil. Fault I lo.l.TS.
As a rule, the people who think it
clever to admire nothing and enjoy
nothing, ore uot amply dowered either
by nature or fortune. There was once
a young man who said he could write
proverbs w hich would cijual Solomon's.
"Try a few," auld a friend. And that
young man has yet to produce his first
proverb. 1 dare say you have heard of
the fault finder who was looking Into
the shop window of a naturalist and
called a man out to tell him that he
had stuffed nu owl very poorly, and to
explalu how very dlfrervutly It should
li.nr leeu done. When he was find
ing fault with Die bird and do, hiring
It had been stuffed so as to look quite
unnatural, the owl turned Its head
and winked at the fault tinder for It
was alive! Do uot be too quick to pick
flaws In tbe work of others. Are you
quite sure you could huve done as well
yourself ?
Missouri and Indiana Corncobs.
Corncob pipes are made by the oar
load In Missouri, and sell for 23 to 27
cents per busheL The Industry Is alto
an Important one In Indiana, aud one
factory at Ilrlgbtwood turns out be
tween 1,000 and 0,000 t dag.