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About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 10, 1898)
Eugene City Guard. I. U OAMPHRLLi Fr.prUtor. KUQKNE CITY ORHGON To LI flung Chang: Lillian ItiwHl will got you If you don't watch out. This country In exporting elevators to BngUad, which U surely a good wuy to giro Johu Hull a lift It Is n pity Unit the olvlllxcd pllluger can's ! suppressed a easily as the un civilized Pillager were, Wltli sixty Mm warship en the wy Knglaud' proceedings cannol be re garded a wuya of pleasantness by I'ruuco. Mexico, a well u the United States, ha the biggest cotton crop on record. All of which la baleful In a double hcii for tbo eottou grower. (ieorge Vnnderbllt' palace ta North Carolina has coat him 110,000,000 and I calli-d Ulltnior. rerhap George wl.hes be had built lees. There ! no reason why Unnle Sum should not aecure a little action on hla murdered missionaries, China baa con alilcrable territory left. - . i i '' 1 The unforgivable thing attotit tt la 'that you no sooner leMI how to pro houuoo tho luijnea of tho Trench in in Ntcra than there la a brand-now botch. - i i i Tho pagUlat think font ball la brutal, while tho foot-bnll player Ihlnka prize fighting la brulal and the public cones pretty in-ar to agreeing with both of them. . Ilrlghnm ltolmrt aaaorta In an lir'-r-v1W tli.it two-third of our Congress Bjafl am In fact polygnmtat. Will Mr. Kohcrta kindly give ua tho names of the other third) f n Eiisloni exchango anxiously In qulroa, "Va I hp war a complete falt iiroV" It was. We bavo this lnformu tlon Rtrnlght from El NaitonnL of Mu drld, Spain. W hy not kiHip our nuval and military surgeons In conetant practlre during In tervula of nutlomil pence? There la tho, bftte bmll Hold for them In auiuiuer and tho foot-bnll field In winter. A Connecticut woman auwed lien hooka Into her pocket before going to a county fair, nml the llrat thief who at tempted to get her puree wua caught "red-handed." Connecticut la atlll In the lead for Ingenuity. I Vou would have to go twenty timet: ' far to llud caeca of borae cruelty to day n you would ten years ago, uaaerta the I'resld'tit of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Aulmule. May ,we go farther and llnd leaa. I In Bridgeport, f'oiin., tho girls hove organized a moTemcnt to freeze oat young gentlemen callera who monopo lize their time without propoalug mar riage. Social life (or a young man (Who doean't waul to get uuirrled In that town must lie a aort of continu ous performnueu In which ho aoon play a the role of the Wandering Jew. It haa been noted thnt all Presidential rniidhlatce whose surnames ended with tbo letter "n," running on a ticket with candidate for Vice President whose surname likewise ended with "n," were el. i t. '(I, to wit: Jefferson and Clinton, Madison and Clluton, Jackson and Calhoun, Jnckaou and Vnn Huron, Van Bnreu and Johnson, Lincoln and Hum lln, Lincoln and Johnson, HarrlBon and lilortou. i A good Illustration of Hiq necessity of a public aeutlment thoroughly moused In favor of the enforcement of Judicious laws la aeon In tbe annual occurrence of destructive forest-llros In the timbered reglona of the North-west. Stringent Are luws have been enacted, and there are live State for calry organization, but forest tires as 'devastating aa ever occur whenever 'droughts prepare the material. For dost mot Irenes tbo fire of tho j'aat tummer rank with the notable one of former year. It cannot be long before there will be established In the I'nlted States sell. i il l for such specialized studies aa will lit young men for comtuorolul em ptoymettt In foreign countries. The ex panding Held of American fo. elgn trade will create u steadily Incieaslug de mand for trained tueu to represent our manufacturers abroad and will offer splendid opportunities for tbla claas of men. (ierinnny has found the plan of specialized commercial education of sre.it value. It haa played a very Im portant part In tho extension of her trade. l'miuestlonably tho United States would llud tt equally valuable. ' The heir to the throne of Balgtum recently traveling through our Weat crn states In a private car, said to his hoat: "Last year I was the guest of the t'anr. When I took my walk It was between two line of aoldlera, who, I feared, might ehoot me br mistake. It was not so pleasant as tlics, and the Caring; was not ao good." Having thus disposed of tbe greatest of democra cies and tho greatest of absolute mon archies, he made a second comparison: ,fcWben you eotuo to my country you jWlll send me your card? What can I do? You can see all my country In a day." 1 The biteet report of tho I'nlted States Commissioner of Education, Dr. W. T, Jlarrla, brings down tbo etatlatlc to June :w, imiT. At that date there were enrolled In public InsUtutlona, or schools and college of all grades up ported by taxation, 14,T42,0TT pupllai In prlvato and parochial Institution 1. 6i:t.oiu morai a grand total of lflUTS, (AW. There was a slight falling off tn the patronage of private schoola, prob ably caused by the "hard time." Since 1870 the enrollment In public schools tia nearly doubled; there has bee'n In creasing liberality of expenditure along all Hue, with a steadily advancing standard of Instruction, administration and humanlsntton of discipline. Of normal school for the training of tea. hers, the Statea support UV. and 300 other are maintained by tuition fee 0' donations. More than three- fourth ef tbe achool population I found outside of large cities and town; but the shorter school year la pnrily eomiwmantcd by rural Induatrtal oppor tunities. Of course the statistic rep resent all daffWt of excellence and do. foot) but tho movement I upward and tic outlook hopeful. One of the art In conducting a pollt leal i inni'ilgu la for the candidate to say nil the good things he mixli sily can about himself and hla side of the rase wltlKiut unduly criticising III op ponent. In re--iu years there has Iwen a distinct gain In American politic In decency, though there In still room for Improvement. A i-undldato wlio can pmsoiit Uie fa"ts from hla standpoint In A clear, forcible manner, who knows hi case Is not so desperate a to (nil for the aid of mud slinking, Is fur more apt to luiminand the attention of tho public than the loudmouthed bawler, who makes ueo of epithets that would be out of place In the family circle. The geptloinufl in politic on the stump Is not un Ideal man. lie la In many place a renllty, und the method he tiuraiina are becoming more common. It la fulr and Just to discuss all pollt Wl Issues, which an ttlfHa In which all the people aro concerned, fearlessly and truthfully. If men are found to bo corrupt. It Is proper to expose their priictl' to the people, but the speaker can do thl without sinking to the lev-d of those who aro worse than he to. An honorable candldato would not proper ly represent the jioople wlune ufrrages be Is asking for If he did not expose the eneml'" of the people. The A-merii-an twople like to nee a dean, square, fear leaM, (taudup fight In politJcs. Tho man who lows such a light cannot suf fer hy defeat; the cnndldato who wins by dlihotioruble method I robbiMl, In tho estimate, tho Iswt people make of him, rf all tho real fruit of victory. There uro at least u dozen clalmnnta for BUIWpaaa throne who have never enjoyed the right of aoveretgnty. Don (,'ailoe uM-rt that, as the luat of tho IlourlKins, he I heir to the thrones of Spain und Trance. The Due d'Orlenna considers himself King of Enuice, ami there Is a llonapurtlst claimant ubo. The Duke of Cumberland Is known u King of II n inner, and tbe Trlnces I.oiiIh of Hnvarlu Is sometimes auluttsl as tho last of the Stuarts, and the right ful helres to the English throne. The Puke of llrugunzu Is a pretender to tho throno of Portugal. There ore six other wandering heirs to lost European crowna. These ctuluiant huve never been In possession of the strongholds of power. The Empress Eugenie Is dy ing In exile, after seeing the pomp and glory of empire pans away from her. She la uow In her seventy-third year, and resides ut Parnborotlgh, In one ot the southern counties of England. She la rich, and owns n country house nnd estate which cost her about n quarter of n million dollar-. She lives quietly, and entertulua few people who ure not relatives. The most distinguished among her gucite during recent year huve been the tiermnn Emperor and (Jueen Victoria' duughter, Princess Henry of Hattenberg. The Empress was once famous for her beauty und the aiagMCt of her manners. She I now aged and feobh a victim to rheu matism, with n deeply lined face, a bent figure and sunken eyes. Yot even In her old age there aro traces of that stately grace ami illgully of carriage which once enabled her to set the fnsh Ions for an empire mid the world. For ty five years have passed since her marriage with Napoleon 111. In Paris, with splendid pomp. I'or seventeen years alio wns the greatest ladv on tho Continent For twenty -eight years she has been an exile In England. Diking occasional Journeys to Spuln, and pass ing through Paris a few times. Her longest pilgrimage was to Xululund, In South Africa, where her only son was killed In tho English service. Th Em pres' misfortunes have been borne with English fortitude and pluck. She has lived In retirement, and made no complaint because the fortunes of em plre huve gone heavily nguln-t her; but simple and unaffected ns Is her life, si e has not lost the gesture of eommnnd nor her Spanish elognuco of manner. 1 "AGONY POINT." The '(riini'it Curve on Any Ru'lroad In the World. Tho struugest railroad curve In the WOrld la found on the Parceling Him alayan Hallway in India. The railroad Itself Is unique, as It runs far up Into the mountains. Its Parjeollng terminus being situated on a giddy eminence 8,0(S) feet above the level of the plains. To reach this height many twists and "BOOHI" ii, j On afternoon, when hahy hoy haa had a plvnilld nap, And sits like any monarch on hi throne, In nurse's lap. In some such wise my handkerchief I hold before my face. And cautiously and quietly I move about the place; Then, with a cry, I auddenly expose my face to view, And you should hear him laugh and crow wheu I say "HoohP IojmMbM the rascal tries to make believe that lie Is scared, And really, when I first began, he stared, and stared, and stared; And then his under Hp came oat and far ther out it camo. Till mamma and the nurse agreed It waa a "cruel shame" Hut now, what does that samo wee, tod dling, lisping baby do Hut laugh and kick hi little heel when I tay "Boohl" Tie laughs and kick his little heel In rap-. tnrous glee, and then In shrill, despotic treble bids me "do it all a dent" And I of conrac I do It; for, as hi pro genitor, It I auch pretty, pleaaant play aa tbla that I arn fori g nd It Is, oh, such fun! and I am ure that we shall rue The time when we are both too old to play the gune of "Hoobl" Eugene 1'leld. A ROUGH DIAMOND. L On, miss i the bank ti Twenty t "AOOJfT POIJT.'' bond are neevssary and In descending the trains awing around curve In a hair raising manner. The aharivst curve I at "Agony Point," where tho train almost describes a circle In It own length. One of the most striking features of a Journey up the Darjeel-luc-Hlmalnyan Railway la the sharp transition from the burning heat of the plain to tho cold air and the uowa of thl great height Imparities Ahnnt the Home, The careless disposal of the loaw and debris atout the home Is one of the moat rulnou practice In vogue by the farmer ami hi family. Impurities about the home bring dlscisc by tilling the air with microbe or disease gorma. All impurities should be emptied In a keg or a barrel that doesn't leak, and wheeled away ami poured on tire grass, and not In tho same place twice. The barrel or keg should be cleansed week ly with car' -die aawand lime, t'lean llncs Is next to Oodllneaa. It 1 next to healthful uee. too. Tbe premise about the house cannot be kept too clean and free of slope, etc. Vermin breed disease very rapidly and with i awful effect. Keep the home and all the appurtenances thereof clean and ' pore, and keep clean yourself. Prav tloal Farmer. f II. MISS ELSIE. Mis. F.lsle. bank haa been robbed I thousand pounds gone, mlsale! and poor master awayl Oh, dear! oh. dear!" Fully an hour ago had tho abovo worda been thrust on pretty little Elelo Maltland'a bewildered hearing. She llll sat In tho exnet spot where the bearer of tbe awful news had left hor, too stunned und shocked even yet to properly rvallo all that tbo terrible tid ings might mean. Twenty thousand pound gonel And the bunk In n somewhat cmburraascd condition liefore! Worst of all, the bunker himself - Elsie's nncle was away! Elsie Multlnnd was a bravo lit tle womnn, but somehow this Inst dreadful thing had well nigh robbed her of her bravery. A step behind her, and a low voJeo spoke her name. She knew It at once; It waa her good-for-nothing brother's. Why had he come her; now, bringing fresh trouble? For tbe first time In her life Elsie felt nngry with him. "Why are you here again, Harold?" she cried, w hen lie wns standing there In front of her. "When I gave you thnt lust money you promised to stny away altogether, and try nnd get something to do. Yet hero you are once more, and this time I cannot help you. Why, why do you come? Uncle John would be furious nt finding you here." "Hut he Is nwny, Elsie," the young man answered, breathlessly. "Olrlle, you must help me, Just this once. I promise solemnly never to worry you again!" "Yon have promlaisl snhminly tieforo, Harold," his sister said, bitterly. "I eannot help you, I say. We are all ruin ed. Tho bunk has Ixsm fobbed." The startled look on his white face 'Utissl her to cense speaking. "Is It true, Elsie V he asked, hoarse ly. "Has the bank really boon rob bed'," She told him what she knew, he lis tening Impatiently, "I must have money, glr1!" he burst out "I must hnve It! I must get away from here to-night, nnd I don't possess a single farthing! Quick, dear. I'nelo left you some for housekeeping. Thnt will have to do." "I don't posses n single farthing, ei ther," she persisted. "What Is the mat ter, Harold? Why Is It B0 terribly nec rasary for you to lenve Hlackmoro to night?" TbeV eyes met -hers clenr, Rtralght forwaau, honest; his weak and nervous. "I ncV will be coming back to see about the bank, Elsie," ho muttered, quecrly. "He must not find me here." No, It would only ndd to the bltter ncse of hla return. Hut what conld sho do? "I hnve It!" the desperate brother suddenly exclaimed. "Elsie, this news nlKiut the hank robbery Is still exclu Blvo. The editor of tho Hlackmoro Times would give you any gum for It. He Is enterprising, and always ready for something startling nt first hand. Tills Is our only chance, dear." Hut ELsle would not see It In that light for a long, long time. It was not until her broth! had fully enlarged on the grim necessity of the case, not un til he hud forced her to plainly under stand the consequences If he did not have money nt once, that sho finally consented to go to tho editor of tho Hlackmore Times. Harold Multlnnd hud a smart, cun ning tongue; on this occasion he had Indeed usisl It well. As he prophesied, the editor literally grablHHl at the "copy," especially after he bad fairly convinced himself that hla would be the first paper to publish the startling new s on the morrow. Elsie w ent wear ily home with the much needed money in her pocket. Harold was waiting In hiding for her. and POQOCM down oil gerly on the gold. It An hour after his departure their un cle's manager came to the house, and asllsl to see Elsie. When he was ad mitted Into hor presence he noticed With a sharp pang how wnn and deso lata her little race had grown. Poor child! Such things as these Wete hard for her to bear, now he Wished that he could save her all care and annoyance In the future! For wlt,h the w hole of hi stout, loyal heart he lo ed her. He showed her a telegram which he had revolved from her uncle. "Kotumlng at onoo," It said. "Keep news of robbef out of tint papers at any price till I ee you." Elsie read the words, or. rather, th chased each other before her dluy, ac lug eyes. She suddenly tottered for ward and fell In a dead faint Next morning huge poster appeared from the office of the Hlackmoro Times, making public the robbery. Newsboys shouted It frantically from one si root to another. Soon a big crowd had gathered outside the bnk, clamoring loudly for the door to be opened. . They wanted their money back, their hard-won earnings, and they meant to g, t It. That exclusive new sold by Elle Maltland on the prevlou. evening to the editor of the Hlackmoro Time had caused an appalling run on her un- (,.. Knnlr The door were opened at last; the crowd surged In, presenting checks o the full amount they hud depoelted In the bank. They looked astonished when the gold same over tho counter lu their direction. Clearly they had expected to be turned away penniless. They thanked their etnrs for being the first. The bank could not go on paying out for long, of that tbey felt sure. At noon EUie and her uncle drove up to the front entrance In an open car riage. He had Insisted on her accom panying him, despite the fact that IM looked wretchedly pale and 111. All tho way along they hud seen those hideous posters announcing tho rob bery. "How did they get the news?" John Rivera kept repeating. "Elsie, child, how did they get the new? It Is a mystery to me. If only It could have been kept from them another twenty four hour I could have weathered the atorm." Poor Elle' heart ached. "I have done It!" she cried. "Tho fault Is mine mine! Oh, Harold, If only I could have foreseen all this! If only I could huve foreseen It alll" . J -III. A yet Elslo had not told her nncle who aupplled tho news to the paper. She prayed fervently that he might be able to keop tbo knowledgo to her self forever, safely bidden from tho fond old man who believed in her. Fate would decide. For hour he at In a little room over the bank, listening to the persist ent clamoring below for gold. How much longer could It go on? "Not much longer!" John Rivers said dejectedly to his Buffering niece. "Not much longer, Elsie, my girl. They must have paid It nearly all out by now. Boon they will have to close tho door. Don't cry, child. It la th will of Providence, I suppose; but it's hard to get such a blow a this at my time of lifer Presently there were sounds of cheer ing In the street A well-known mill ionaire hnd driven up to the bank. "My Qodr muttered the old banker. "Thl la tbe last straw! Reginald Fair fax ha turucd against me with tho rest; when ho hns withdrawn hla mon ey there won't be n penny left!" "Go and see him, uncle," Elsie plead ed. "He la so rich ho mlgi.t be per suaded to leave It" "No, child, r could not ak to him or nnyone else to-day." "Then I will, undo. Ob, do go and send him here to me! I must eeo him! Reginald will save us!" John Rivera went blindly out, and El sie waited for Reginald Fairfax to come to her. Twice this self-made man hnl asked her to marry him; twice she had refused. He was rich, but ho wns also coarse. Life with him would be a nightmare, he hnd always told her self. She did not love him. Hut now - Ho wns standing there In front of her, loudly dressed, nnd looking more commonplace and vulgar than over. How could she appeal to this boorish perveuu? Sho must though; she had worked the mischief, and sho must right It If possible. At the end of another five minutes she was telling him everything -nil about her brother and her selling the new of the robbery to the editor. He listened In silence. Sho humbled her self to the dust before him, and begged him not to withdraw his money from the bank. He smiled qucerly. "You twice asked me to bo your wife," sho wound up, feverishly, "and I refused you. Would you ttll marry mo, Mr. Fairfax! Oh, do answer! If I snld 'yes,' would you still marry me?" Tbe mlle broadened. "Am I to understand that you are proposing to me, Miss Mnltlnnd?" he asked. "Dou't seek to bumble me any more; dou't, don't T' she cried. "I have fallen far enough I" "Y'es," he said; "It must Indeed be a terrible fall for the proud Miss Malt land to offer herself to me! You offer to become my wife If I will only leave my money In your uncle's bank. Con sidering that 1 love yon end thnt you love someone else- It Is rather hnrd on me, Isn't It?" "Oh, don't, don't! If you only know how I loathe myself for having said all this to you! You are quite right to re fuse me. How dare I ask you or any man to take me under auch condi tions? You aro quite right to refuse me." "I don't know," he answered, slowly. "If you did not love another man al ready It might hnve lioon different. Hut ns It l-yes, I certainly won't marry you. Miss Mnltlnnd; you have humbled yourself to me unneoossnrlly. You can not know me very well when you 1m nglne that I bad come to withdraw my support from your uncle nt such a time a this. Instead, 1 had merely come to Dike the further sum of 50,000 to my account. The public knows It alrendy, and the paying Into the bank of such a large sum has restored confidence." Ere she had time to speak he was gone. Hut the bank wns Bared! The bank was saved! A man she had iwaysde spised In her heart had come forward and eared It. Why why had she never been aide before to see the fine nature which lurked beneath n somewhat boor ish exterior? Tho excitement of that day wn fol lowed by a long illness for her. When she returned to life once wore It was to find her undo In better spirit than she could ever remember him. "AH the doing of Reginald Falrfnx. Elsie, my girl!" the old banker said, gleefully. 'Tie stuck to me right through, child, when everyone else fall od me, and his example saved the bank." He bad further persuaded old John Rivera to make a partner of hla long trusted manager. He was therefore In a position nt last to ask Elle' hand In marriage. When he asked hor he an swered "Yes." Pome months after their marriage Elsie received another vialt from her brother Harold. He was altogether a different person. He was going to America, and had come to mnko a eon feialou to her. i ......... .... of their He had KM "is iin"- -uncle and the hank to a certain gang of . , A ,,i tnminv. lllll thlevea ror u uubj " he had never known a happy minute since, and he hnd never touched a fur thing of the Ill-gotten cash. Bl i WM going to America uow. to stnr life In earnest, and when his aUter asked bin where ho had found the necessary funds he told her that the donor was Reginald Falrfnx.-Chlcago nines The organs of smell In n vnltnrc and a carrion crow are so keen thnt they can scent their food for a distance of forty miles. Hummingbirds are domesticated by placing In their cngm a number of pa per flowers of tubular form, containing a small quantity of sugar ami water, which must lie frequently renewed. Of this liquid the birds partake and quick ly become apparently couteuted with their captivity. The United States fisheries commis sion has Investigated the Florida alli gator and reported that unless steps ur i taken to protect thl water animal from hunters It will soon lie ns com pletely exterminated as Is the Ameri can buffalo. The alligator I hunted for It skin and for sport, and Its com bined enemies have greatly reduced the number of animals seen nnuunlly In tho wnters and marshes of Florida. It Is estimated thnt not many years will pnss before the Florida nlllgator will disappear entirely, unless tbe gov ernment Interferes In the old day of wooden ships the boring Insects which live In wood were their chief foes, Teakwood acquired It reputation a a ship building ma terial because of Its snpposed Immun ity from these vermin. Steel Bhlp9 suf fer from barnacle, which foul their bottoms much more rapidly than they do wooden ones. These strange marine growth are sometimes as big ns one's (1st nnd adhere to the nietnl plat' with tremendous force, and, besides IuiihmI Ing tho ship themselves, they catch son grass and other rubbish nnd drag It through the water. When a dry dock Is not available metal ships have to have their bottoms cleaned by diver. When the battleship Massachusetts wos recently cleaned barnacles and grass covered her hull to such nn x tent that she could not have made moro than ten and one-hnlf knots an hour. An Alphabet of Great Names. A contributor has been amusing him self by trying to answer the question or series of questions What man lu the history of the world whose name began with A nnd after that every other let ter of the alphabet In order exerted the grcntest Influence upon the thought nnd conduct of mankind? Of course, there are some letters which are not very prolific In the names of great men; but we think most of our renders will be surprised to see how many of the most Illustrious names In history are Included, and how few are excluded. In some cases the compiler seems to have selected names quite as much with a view to comprehending In the list men of many countries, n because tho name given wns that of the great est man of his time. The list follows: Arlstotlo, Bacon, Confucius, Darwin, Ezra, Franklin, Ooethe, Homer, Isaiah, Justinian, Kant Luther, Mohammed, Newton, Osslan, Plato, Qulutllltin, Rousseau, Shnkspeare, Tasso, Chlund, Virgil, Washington, Xavler, Young, Zo roaster. Saturday Evening Tost. OUR BUDGET OF FUN. HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO INGS HERE AND THERE. fokrs and Jokelets tht Are Supposed to Have Been Kcocntly Born-UBXlnge and Doing thut AJ-e Odd, Curio and Laugbuble-The Week' Humor. I:, nun Untile Coincidence. "So how I'm awfully stupid to night," remarked young Horutn, lnn- rUldly, the other evening. 'Indeed you are," retorted Mies Cut ting, somewhat Impulsively. 1 1,, you really mean that?' naked the rotmg man In surprise. "I merely Indorsed your remarks; didn't you Just now nsscrt that you were stupid?" she queried. "Yes," be responded, "but I only said o without thinking." "And up to the time you spoke of It," jhe replied, "I only thought so with out saying It." II a, II I Of Oolf. "I'm surprised to hear thnt you're so enthusiastic over golf, Sligher. Do you play?" "Not lu a thousand years. Wouldn't knnw a link from a ballroom. Hut my wife la so completely taken up with the game that she has quit trying to run me." Detroit Free Tress. Cruel OirL Clarence I don't know what's tho matter with me. I feel like a fool to night. Myrtle- Now I know he wns wrong. Clarence Who was wrong? Myrtle The man that said looks are deceiving. Merely Wanted to Know, Teacher -Now, Johnny, what does B-t-l-n g-y ss'll? Johnny Hrlgbt Do you refer to the business end of a wasp, or the prin ciple of my dad when I nsk for a new pair of skates? Kxpluiticd. "Why," osked the youngest lioarder, do they measure the Speed of u ship In I knots?" "I think," said the Cheerful Idiot, "that It has something to do with tho tied." Indianapolis Journal. Jim's Wicked Desire. "Little Jim Is craty to have school ! begin." "Is he so fond of study'" "No; but he says he wants to see how much his teacher knows about tho now geography." Detroit Free Press. How The (let On. May You say Mr. Little has n fam ily of ten and he gets only $12 n week! How on enrth docs he get along? Jennie Oh, every Utile helps! Phil adelphia Record. A Konslblo Mule. For more than ten year a very sens ible mule has been working lu the mines near Blossburg, Ala, He will pull his usual lend of six cars of coal from bottom to top without n murmur, but If you put on nn extra car be will kick nnd bray and refuse to go until relieved. When the cars are Unloaded at the top he will always mount nn empty car nnd lie down and ride to tbe bottom of tbe stope, a d'stnnce of half a mile. On one occasion as he wns draw ing up n load n train of empty curs got loose nnd went down the stope at a brenk-neck speed, and the men thought the mule would be killed by the colli sion, but as the empty ears were nlxmt to rush on him he Jumped on the first one and rode back to the b.ittom with the whole trnln. That DUniitron Crook. Miss Sympathy Oh, I feel so sorry Mr. Cnrryon ha met with an accident. Mr. S. That so? What Is It? Miss S. I heard some one say that his elbow has taken such a crook that he hns lost his work on account of It Boston Courier. f trimge. Shortson Shyson, until now I hnve never felt obliged to nsk for a loan. Shyson And, strange to say, Short ion, until now I have never felt obliged to refuse you Judy. What aro .rj dearie?" ni,...i ., lnt tin. lhnm 'und , " 1 k. "llll-llllljl ,, "US J wants r Ul"Ba,i "Ye." N "What I itw "I-I don't know. Th, crying about:"-I,)dtajlabJN "tfeM I Wo of If I . Husband (at ,10 b J "Ob, for some of Z mother used to n,. '"' Wife (sweetly) pm n't in.t ilmn, a ""T? tm iieur -in.. - about stale ei,nh k. LT"! well with that remark. BtODptcl lnTBt Hlggs-What an awfufi. Drtttt Mrs. Biggs What! N Blggs-Lhtle doK: judf Her I)r.r.. .. . Maude- unny what enrl some people have! l,howlMS photograph to the Nelllwai Is. 1 S.'Llll It wna nn-rll. VJ' H It didn't look a hunk" Kdlth-So lt seem, that hmbJ wife can think alike, iloon't itL5 ton Transcript. He-Why do women ilwin ' tllielr purses In their luDdi? I She-Oh, don't you knew? tu' WOUld be Hie use imving , , r haudkerehlef If one couldn't ends hang through her putw io An 1 H5 Will. hi, in Hut tie You are looking rtthei of late. Why don't you do u I fa m a two-mile walk every moralajforjZ complexion? KUa-And do you really do that 1 had no Idea It was tluu far to i fa tore. J.-. ill. ii- of lllmi.ir "Is ho really so Jealoutr "Why,! Is even Jealous of himself c, some one told him nintrlmoij kj I made another man of lilni.H-aifc net! Kuqulrcr. He Didn't I.Ike a Crowd. Mrs. Ootrox Mnbol, dcr, in euro Mr. Wood by love you (or y self alone? Mabel Yes, I'm sure lie does, u ma. He Is always so restlMtna. you aro In the room. He Hespected Her Will, Flossptte What, In mouraln;: Wh ig it? Berths--Beastly !intne-aw-mUBi mint's dawg aw-doiarted-w- Insists on my showing respect, 4T cuerxnowi t. rant s. The Prolngne. Smith Yon are not superstitious, are you? Jones I should sny not. But why do you nsk? Smith Because I wanted you to lend me $13 uutll next week. Hetwccn the Devil and the Deer, Fee. American Street Itallwnys. Street railway statistics of nn inter esting nnture are given In the Ameri can Street Hallway Directory. From these It appears thnt there Is a total of 1,1174 street railways In the Dotted States, made up of 0 0 e'e trie, 21 cable, 31 steam and 113 horse lines. These hnve a total capital stock of f075,62rV S'J7, and are bonded for f527,DT0,220, The total track mllenge amounts to 16,466.78, of which 1-1,(173.71 Is electric, is;. 3S cable. 018.M steam nnd 08&80 bona, in their operation nre required M00 cars. 32,ttrt of which nre motor cars, 7,fi'J4 trailers, 2,1)20 cable. l,S-'7 steam and 8,883 horse. In addition there nre 010 steam locomotives and 3,.r.04 horses. Knew Naught of Tsxtrsther rs. Mnny and Strang are the discoveries which nre occasionally made In the o :t lying districts of the dominions of the great white czar. But It Is Somewhat of a novelty thnt an entire village should recently hnve boon discovered of the existence of w hich uo one sin ins to hnve had any Idea. Deep In the forests of tho I'rul the authorities hnvP discovered a flourishing village, tbe In habitant of which speak a curious language of their own nnd seem to form a sort of Ideal commonwealth. In which taxes and taxguthorors, among other troublesome things, are unheard of Thl latter defect, however, Is now to be remedied. Kleetrlo Mousetraps. An electric mousetrap Is MBMUtiai new. A bit of cheese Is attached to an electric wire. The mouso or rut to get at the bait must stand on a matal plate, and the moment he touches the cheese he Is shocked u death. Ixve Is tbe flavoring extract la jhe Ice-cream of life. Voice from above- O. lust n , i,.i,. there don't move, please I want to take a snap shot! Judy. Refut jtlon. "What does thnt man mean by say ing you made all your money out of polities?" exclaimed the Indignant friend. "I don't know," answered Senator Borghnm. -it ain't accurate, anyhow D was m )(,uttc that I made my money."-Washlngton Star. Knew What He" Required. Dlggs-Oood gracious. Bigg; why don t you turn off the steam? Your of fice Is as hot as an oven J7Wl11, !Rn,t ,hat as " i be. This, you know. 1. where I make my family's dally broad. vv ,lVo"'"ia"0n ofT Theory. W atts-I see that a German scientist asserts that the memory stronger In summer than lu winter. Potts-I guess he wrote thnt nfter hearing some old fellow talking about the hot summers of forty years ago. Indlanarjoll Journal. George Wns Stubborn. "Oeorge almost broke my heart S day." "How or "I begged him to go to enure!) fB me In his uniform nnd lie wonMi't It." "How meanl What reason M I give?" "Ho said It would havo to be m footed first." , . "How perfectly eolflsb."-Clevelai Plain Dealer. , .... , i il. , W'nman. JOB. ...- ( "Tnllt almut vour great , ... . . . m m remarked the ensmer, as and bung up his overcoat; "l 1 wife's got them all beat." "Why, how's that?'' osked tbe boei-. Itooper. "She made up her mind to porcH n wrap she saw In a store Just w tho corner from when' ' Wj the cnshler; "but yesterday , thnt she could buy ouc eitW downtown for 50 cents less- "And. of course, she went and bought It." Interrupted the aw keeper. t ... ,v "That's what she did. W"w cashier; "and Incidentally pf' ' for cab hire while looking W place." Paper Hanging by MmW" Tho successful operation ' ' hanging by machine Is ontja achievements of mechanical P says the Werkstntt. The trm employed r this purpose H j with a rod? upon which th. niftier Is Placed, and a pa.tr recn with a brushing convenience i f ed In such a manner that tw d applied nutomatlcnlly on i to the paper. The end of the w Is fixed at the bottom of tw , tho Implement rises on the a manner a only to minlr set by one workman. " n paper unrolls and. prodded emu Is held flat against the roller follow on the out presses It firmly final ! smoothness to the wall ' (i( wtD completing operation Is " workin paper reache. ,0J, It now pulling a cord. h. rw off from the ramalnaerj About th time a man family of daughters off Jt htw to begin setting his their fee- Th great trouble idols I that tbey are au -cracked.