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About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 17, 1898)
BBBSaBBEBffiBBBBBiffiBBfflBBaaBaB5::r:;--.. THE CASE OF - -- - - VANPORT. KiSSaBBBflBBBSEIBSOSiSfaBflBBBBBSBBBBBBBBBaBa T twenty-two, Cal Vutiport, lx ftt't tall, strong, swarthy and Inn..!- wns at oucc the most luliTi-Btliis iiml the most unpopular character In 'till North rinn. N. Y. II.. du.it with his mother, Irish ty birth, washerwoman by trade, au.l relict of tin' Only pure-blooded Hollander ever known In tht village, lu a wulto-wiish-ed cottage fronting a Uttlt-ttSSd side ilr.s't. Aside from Deacon Oroott, of DM l ifcwlll Baptist Church, who wns too l.l to work, mill, besides, liu.l a mil.' money laid hy. nnd oi.i John Tom- lln-ai. who lived 111 the big while bouse across from the postolHcc and wvh rich, being worth 110,000 at least, and DMty be more, C'nl wus the only grown nuin In the place who seemed to tiuve no regular oceuiiatlou. Hence his uuKiilarlty. "Vou see, doctor," Jabcz Huggles, the wagou-miikcr, explained to me ono day, oon after 1 began practicing In North lisa, "Cal ain't got no gumption, tu fact, he's wul, what you might call slilfi.ss. no won't never work none tt all, Vcptlu' when the beans Is rlp. Thru he does go out Into the field and pull, sometimes, though he didn't hint year, When he's n miu' to bo kin do tuore work 'n anybody I know, for he's the ablobodledest man any where round here, hut you never see him n-pltchln' no hay, nor n-workln' In no harvest field; not even when such men as Su pervisor Itulger or Deacon Wurhoys Is offcrlu' two an' a hn'f a duy to save their crops, "No, sir; he'd ruther live ou his poor ol.l mother than to work, an' about all be does Is to go'u git tho clo'es In a basket before she washes 'em, an' korry "tin home afterward. You kin see 'lm a-doiu' that every moruln' an' every Ulglit rcgiur. What he dors lu the mid dle of the day Is a myst'ry to every body. Sonic days he goes n-llshlu', but that's mostly on Sundays. Week days be geli'nlly shots 'Iniself In the house J.st to loaf, I s'pos". I sh'd think 'twould make him 'shamed to hear the piuiii.i u. . lie sc. ...M.iii urn ins iii. mi cr's to work over the washboard an' be's layln' round, a,.lolu' DOthlo', "gome day the boys 'ii ail git mad 'n run him out, unless he braces up and K"i's to work. When that happens North Pisa '11 git a notice lu the county paper, sure." In spite of the wngon-innker's story, I fniiiiil It hard to dislike Cal Vanport without knowing more concerning him, Olid I Invited talk about him from va rious village magnates. Hut the testi mony thus gathered was all of one sort. It was clear that all the men of North Pisa both hated and despised him ns mi utterly worthless vagabond. The feeling of antagonism between Cal mid Ills kind, however, was "like a Jug ban dle, all on one side," as I found nrhen learns to know him personally, if over there was n man who lMire nobody 111 It was Cal Vanport, and before I hud met either Cal or his mother face to face I perceived that BO the of the woni en of the place held the young man In better esteem. "They may say nil the mean things they want about Oil Vanport," said Mrs. Miggs, the sturdy old blacksmith's Wife, who had two grown sous ..f li. r own, "and I won't deny that It does look like small potatoes and few In the kill for him to live ou his mother's enrnln's, as he 'pears to; but they'd be some happier mothers In North Pita If nil sons was like him. I know some young men In this village that Work hard enough an' save their money that ain't near so kind to their mothers as he Is. When Mis' Vanport was younger an' Cal' was a goln' to school an' she used to go out to wash, which she don't do no more, she told me he never spoke a sassy word to her In his life. I wlsht everybody could say as much for their boys. I told my man ylstl.ldy an' It Blade him mad, that some folks I know would bo wlllln' to have their boys a little larder If they could only sny what Mis' Vanport kin, but they can't," she concluded, lu a tone clearly showing a desire to 1k confidential, which I care fully Ignored by promptly bidding her good day. The more I heard about the washer Woman's shiftless son, the more I liked him, somehow, ami the r agon-maker told me n story two or three days later thai added to my Interest. "There goes the girl that Cal Vanport wants to marry," said Boggles, stand ing In front of his shop and pointing ai rasa lbs street to a tall, good-looking young woman, undoubtedly the hand somest in North Pisa. "Yes, she Is the daughter of 'Squirt Woodmanslo. and when she was lu the same school le i" In the village that Cal went to, the two Rot to thlnklu' n lot of eneh other. Of course, her folks didn't like the Ides "f her marrvlu' a washerwoman's son. and so they sent her away to school for ; year or two. At that time most folks kinder sympathized a Itli CM but now he's growed up so shiriess Ilk" they don't no more. Her folks is a-tryln' to Rlt her to marry Hilly POchener, the berry farmer. He's a likely chap, with his land most paid fer, but somehow ni r.,r r.,-u Bne non I seem io .-are ion. I him Cal Vanport ain't got no chancet, 'hough, and he ain't a-tryln' none, BattbtS, he ain't got ttttSMJfc gumption. I I Herd 1,7m to,, 'Squire WoVtamnsle right here in front of my shop one night right here In front of my shop B8 almnt a year ago that he shouldn't try to s.-c Helen no more. I thought they'd in' n itgnt Mint ulglit. The 's.iulre h culled Oil n shlf'l. ss loafer right to hlg face and swung his big cnue real threnteiiln like. Then the 's.julre said Helen didn't think DO more of Cal than a yellow dog. Oil kep' still till then nut at that he picked the 'simlro up jusi sir iieti neen a baby mi' kerrled him out In the street, a klcklu" i a-wlggllu' like all possessed. "It was then Oil said he shouldn't try to see the girl. Hut bo told the 'squire that he'd better not mention her name to him no more when he was a sp. akin' about yeller dogs If he want ed to k. ep out of trouble, on' the 's.iulre slu t right up mi' went home. Cal does sometimes seem to have a bit of spunk In him, but you'd think he'd be 'shamed to let his mother work so hard an' he do notlilii. why, say, the washings that little old woman '11 do In one day are sometimes big enough for two or three like her. Some thinks she has a machine, hut nobody can't git no furth er Into her house than the front room, late years, ami uolsjdy cau't And out not bin'." At about 12 o'clock one night the next wis-k tny doorbell rang furiously, and when 1 went down I found Cal Van port walling for mo. His face was pale ami he was evidently much excited. He said his mother was very 111 and he hoped I'd hurry. I found her not nearly so bad off as Cal had feared, though she would hare to stay abed some days, and preparing some medicine with my own hands I gave Oil Instructions for giving It and started to go. Cal follow ed me Into the yard. "Nobody must know mother Is sick," he said earnestly, and I'm going to tell you why. Doctors have to keep a good many secrets, and I gUeSS yOU call keep mine'." Then Oil Vanport told me his own stiu v. It took him an hour or more, but it made him more Interesting to me i than ever, au.l It won for him a devoted friend. A mouth or six weeks later along In the fall all North Pisa know cal Vanport'a story as well as I did, and when the facts came out he took a new position In the Community at once, it all happened at eVarty given at 'Squire Woodmsnale'i home lu celebra tion, so it was understood, of an en gagement to marry that had at last 1 n arranged between Helen and Hilly Pllchener, the fruit farmer. Everybody of any standing In North Pisa and around about for miles was Invited, and everybody came, for such social gatherings were rare esaiUKh then. Of course I. being ths village doe tor, was Invited with the others, and. of course. I went, though I arrived Into anil went away early. Isiiig called to attend n patient In spite of the rumor, there was no formal announcement, though all the men winked knowingly whenever they taw Hilly POchenSf In Ills Sunday go to-ineetlngS and the tight boots, from Wblth he was suffering so vcrelv. The supposed bride to be seem ed rattS out of sorts when I saw her, nnd I wondered If. down In her heart, she was thinking of Cal Vanport It was an hour past midnight when I returned to the village from the drive to attend my patient, and I noticed us I drove past the Woodmanslo house that Its windows were still brightly light.il. though the guests were rapidly going home. As I drove slowly by caught sight of a tall, broad-shouldered llcure standing In the deep shadows of some shrubbery. It was the figure of Cal Vanport. Suddenly there was a cry from the house, then a bright light and long tongues of flame ls-gnn to leap from the windows. In an redlbly short HsttS the entire upper pan oi .ut- uUm. - ni.loTj. In nil II.ST.HII mere wssi i , (.m,.,, wildest confo-lon. M.-n ani SM ran screaming from ths U,D" ture, li.l t o re "!' " . j for this one JZZZZ to be accounted for. when suddenly IBS "STAGOBRKD THItODOH THE POOH WITH FlLCHKNKIt." cry. "Where's Billy Pllchonerr was ruined. The next mluute ho was seen In a second story window, to which 1. had struggled, gasping for breath ai.d with his clothes u lire lu half a dm I rule, . u M n.n.1 Uo, lKTU ijgjjj M of his senses I... u.,.,1.1 i -.. i and saved himself, for he was not more than twelve or flftecu feel from the ground, hut as It was he was as help less as If he had been a thousand feet up. There were shouts that he must ho saved, of course, but nobody stttttsd t,. uu.ierstan.1 how It could bo done, and while the talk went on the lire boned Uiore fiercely. It was thru that Oil ii tin, rt on urn - -.i 1 II llll to the front. Knowing hliu as I hud come to know him. I should not have boeu surprised at what followed had It basa the girl iii danger, i must confess, however, that under the ot.cumstuiie, I 1 wan thoroughly dated. There were B0 bidders handy, nnd hardly time to raise them If there hud Isvn. for Fllohen r bad evidently fainted, and If resetted at nil must In- rescued quickly. Oil saw that In a flash, and Instead of walling to discuss things with auyonc he whip pod off his coat, threw It over his head to protect himself from smoke mid flams us much as potslble, and rushed straight Into the binning boost. Then wvro jviu of. "Why, it's I'ui Vanport I Btop hlmr' and the like, and while these were still sounding Oil hbnsell appeared at tho window with PUchoner lu his arms. Then Oil disappeared to tight hlg ,vny down the stairs to life and air again, for he dared not Jump with his heavy burden, I thought BO would never get out, but he did, though It stomed BOOrS before he staggered through the dis.r with iiicheuer. comparatively unscath ed. It had all taken little mora time than It takes to r.a.l It, and the "shlf less loafer" pit round after round of the henrthsst cheers. Hut although Fllchoncr was safe and sound, Oil was painfully hurt. A broad red gush across his face showed that he would probably Is- a handsome man in. mort, mid the moment after he was relieved of Fllchetier's weight he Stag gcrvd and fell unconscious. 1 had Jumped from my buggy, and 1 ran to him, but Helen Wooduiajislo was thero before me and Bhc dashed water brought from the well Into fill's face, while I hastily Itouiid up the gash be fore taking hliu to the little white washed cottugo, which was not far away. Helen went with DM to the cot tugo, nud Insisted on remaining while I complet.il the dressing of his wounds. It was Helen, also, of all the North Pisa folks, who first learned what I had found out some time before. Mrs. Van port had a washing machine. Indeed, but tt was human mid not wood and Iron, nud Its mime was Cal. Ills moth er's health had long Ik-cii so bad that he dared not leave her alone, and, lie sides, he had found that with his gn at strength lie could earn more at the Waahboard than In the field, and all the time he had been held to be a "SttlflSSS loafer" he had actually been saving monty. With which in time I leant to go away from North Pisa mid begin all over again. This Is about all there Is to tell tboul the case of Cal Vanport, except that he got well In good time, that ho was ever afterward the most Mipular man In North Pisa, and that when Helen Woodmansle was married Billy Pllcht ner was not the bridegroom.- Rocky Mountain News. Swapped Couples in Oklahoma. A Sensational case With a funny lids is reported from U Reno, A couple ar lived at the principal hotel and regis tered themselves ns mail and wife. In fact, they were elopers, one having run away from a wife and the other a bus band. In the oourse of a w.s'k the In jured husband and the Injured wife nr lived from Kentucky and caused the arrest of the pair. The desert. sl man and woman had never seen each other before, but while waiting for reiilsl Hon papers from Kentucky they stop pel nt the same hotel, and fun 1 an acquaintance, Having a common grist tliey became Interested In Bach other, nnd on the day the requisition papers ere to arrive they astonish. si the offl oad by eloping on their own account, going to Texas, where they are uow supsscd to bo. The first pair of . lop ers were released from Jail, and the Kentucky officer returned home, aft.-r Informing the local pas'r that he "hoptd a rattlesnake would bite bin) If he even traveled a thousand mlbs again to help a couple of men trad" wives."- Kansas City Journal. lAing Auntrallsn Tele;rap!i Mno. Among the most remarkable works In Australia Is the OTerland telegraph from Port Iarwin to the south of the continent, which was completed In 1172. Almost the whole 2,000 miles of Its length was through uninhabited country much of It a waterless desert The wooden poles were prcparisl ut the neareet available places, but some had to l carried Into the Interior, and the total cost was l.KVi.'. A woman prefers a husband tahVr than herself, so she can pretend to look up ohm up to una I i jET IS ALL L UC II. JOKES FROM THE PENS OF VARIOUS HUMOHISIS. I lr.ii.unt Iiui.lrnln 'C.ir,lnu Cm World Over - HUII. it Are ' her r fal la Old or Yonag - I unnr beli-ctloihi Ifett Vou Will i:,ioy. Qettteg si Ike Pai - Tills coffee has Ms good qualities as well ns Its bad points," remarked tho dyspeptic Kmrder as he tailed for a second cup. "Ind.elV" ejucrt.sl tin landlady. "Yes," he fJOtttltPSd; "Hie bout that can lo sal. I about tt Is that It coutalne no chicory." "And Its worst poln(V" ask.d the landlady. "Is that It contains mi coffee," was the BPga.Wt.1r1 reply. A i...i Resjw it, II" And am I to understand that your r. . -1 Is tlimlT She It Is. He Th. n life no lone r lias a ehurm for me; I shall hang myself. Hl'.e Will you grant me a f:iirt lie Certainly. Name H. Bht Dtacofldnnt your , stetSMt else where; pupa objitis to your hangliitf around lu re. To lie Kiire. AiLL! 'Ow do they make lot cream, Jem Biy?" "Wy, they Uik.s It In n cold oven, o' course!" Why lie Krepa at It. "Hosh! li.m't t. ll me you can't ult chewing whenever you want to. If you can do It, how does It cotuo that you keep right OOf "Sh Q-hl My wife has never caught me at ii as yet." Cleveland Leader. r.unll)' ArrunKCil. "Hear Charlie, if l marry you, w in you get up nnd make the llres In the morning?" "Darling girl, we will get married. In the summer. Before winter TOO. will get Sised to the Idea of making the llres yourself."-Chicago Record. Changed Ills Mind. "I thought you said. Is-fore the war broke out. that you UHtOdtd to eulIM?" "I did Intend tii, but Just Is-foro the first cull for troosi wus Issued my wife's mother got a Chants to go to Europe for the summer." Too Much for Iter. Qertmde Bow an- yon getting along with your Spanish lessons? Minicciit I've bad to give them up for the present. My teacher has ner vous prostration, Gertrude Why, how did she ever come to get that? Mllllceiil While riding dOWUtOWB In a street ear the other day she over Ihii nl n young man pronouncing tho names of some of those Cuban towns. Miu. iu Bxplaloed, "Why do you spnm my wealth 1" tho aged millionaire ask. si. "I do BOl spuru your wealth," tho beautiful girl answered, "I merely spurn the conditions that go with It." A Fcrew I.ooc Homrw hern. "So those people who have mOTOd In Oext door proleud to be from Hostou, do they." "Yes." "There must be s.-ni" mistake. I heard the madam calling to h. r little son Arthur lust ulglit mid she didn't proliouinv his name 'Au I huh.' " Puiiurr of u Uaat Toilet, Plremao You're safe now. Not hurt anywhere, are you? Roacoed Parly No, no; Ah'm no hurt. Ah'm no hurt (Catches sight of i his nether garments.) Kb, moo, but Ah've got a rare twistl-8kel.ii. One Wife Too Many "Alfonso," said Mrs. Midas, "hero Is n beading In this paper that says, 'Had line Wife T"" Many.' The rest of tho ' article is turn off. How many w Ii i do you think the brute had?" '(in.-, probably," was Midas' prompt reply.-Exehange. Other Yror, Other TltlCi "I laughter, who Is this Mr. Bttgens Wadswortfa Carringtog that is colling on you s.i often 7 "Why, paps, he's tho Iwjr we used to call itiister' wlieii he lived next door." Ton Much. Mrs. frondlng-I hear that your girl has left. What was the trouble? Mrs. Wilby- Oh, It was on account of ber bicycle. Mrs. Gooding I shouldn't think you'd obji el i" ibaL Most of then uavo whiM-ls now, you know. Mrs. Wllby-Yes, but she wanted my husband to pump up her Urea, 3 Ths l.lahl that Palled. loftletgb- Miss Cutting Clara, you are the light of my life, and " Idas Cutting Pardon me for Inter ruptlBg you, but did you ride over on pttftf Wheel this evening? Btdltigh Yes; but why do you nskl Miss Cuttliw Merely to warn you to look out f.r the ix.lliv on your wuy le on', ns you are liable to be arrested for riding without a light. I'.HlHh nulla." No lloulit True, Wheeler -I wonder what has bttOMM of Walker; I haveu't seen hliu for a wsaa, Rfdtf I saw his wife yesterday. Shr raid In- was learning to ride a wheel. Wheeler How's he getting illolg? Itjder Ofl crutch, s, 1 believe. FosMthlauJ for Nothlnu. DtXOfl Hlftklus seems to bt enjoying the fortune his aunt left him. Hlxon Why, I understand Ih lost II nil In n wheat deal six months ago. Hlxon So he did; but It has supplied til its with a never falling topic of con versation ever since. llnw He M.in.iuril It, AM Wright My wife and I DStd t quarrel nearly all the time, but now w have the most jH-aoof ill home you evel saw. Henry Peck -Indstdl How do yon manage It? Ai. Wright- I simply make my wlft so mad she refuses lo sptsik to mo. ii. i i tin PisrarlM on it. He Yes, I really f.'.i as If I ought tc do something for my country. She Oh, well, I think you have doui something for It. He 1 don't know w hen or how. She Why, you were nway lu I'uropt all last summer, weren't you? After the Uimrrrl, Mr. PUmkty Ah, y.", every day 1 mil reminded of the fact that a man's .log is his most gland fat! friend ami ad mirer after all. Miss Sharpson Well, yon know, lga have no sense of the ridiculous. The Poor Locked, "Bridget, did you fix that sugar buck et so tho nil's could not get In?" "Yls, mum. OI tuk th' handle off th' 00Ttr,'V-Dp tO I 'ate. A Kc ill ill I ne Marvel. He Your friend Mrs. Husklns Is the must original uoinan I ever no t. She Iiiileisi: What ha e you discov ered about her that Is strikingly orlg InaJl He Why, when she hasn't anything to say she doesn't talk. Vex ut Ion, Her Mother (to bride-elect) What: frowning on your wedding day? Hrldc Rise) I'm in a quandary. If I go to the alta( smiling people will say I'm Klmply CrBjy to get Charlie, and If I look solemn they will say I already regret the step. What shall I do?-Tld-Hlls. A i in. hi. i.i i PreeerlptttWt "Doctor. WttJ do yot advise me to do so moot walking In bo! wi BthorT" "I thought If you saved ear fare you might pay It on my bills." Horror of ('nmh.it. "This wur hns simply rulinsl ma," "How's that?" "Tbs belrtsi I was courtlBg has got tngSgSd to a soldier." One Mhii'k Oitnlon. Little Alfred Pn, why do s.,ni" people rail It Sabbath, Instead of Sunday? Pa I guess tiny'i" afraid tbs public wouldn't Ittd out that they were relig ious If they didn't call It that. He IIMn't C.uem. "Well," said the enthusiastic now nil clc, as h" ss'pis) Into the crib, "I sup pose you'll call It Dswtg, of course?" "No," wild the baby's proud papa, "we've select. si a Isiter name than that." "Oh, Bobaon or Bcblsy. I presume?" "NHUier. Wo are going to call It Hlanchc, after Its mamma." Chatnpagnn from Appl" Parlnga. The practice of tbt economics in tbs fruit raising lections of th" west has dsveloped a new article of export I n til recently the orchard owners mid the evaporator managers did not think of utilizing the .sires and pmiugs of up pics. They occasionally sold them tu the Jelly -makers or fed them to the hogs, but more generally allowed them to accumulate as refuse lu great heaps, which slowly fermented and decayed. This year lu many places the parings and cores are being saved. They arc spread out In the hot sun ami dried, after which they are packed In large sucks and held for buyers, who gather them up and scud them away In cur lots. The distillation of the dried par ings ami con s In these large qtttBtlfltt Is Prance. It Is no S'-oret that the ref use of the orchards of the Missouri val ley and the Or.ark country Is now larg ly employed In the manufacture of champagne by the thrifty wlneiunkcrs of the vlms lnd slopes of Franco. 8t louis Globe Democrat A mau lows to cat and a woman eats to love. - PAINTED ON A CLIFfc AeiillmentH of I lull Citlxrii KiprrMSd In tillnltttta Wuy. William Qlbaon Of V ernal. I'tah, was taken with the Idea that to paint tin, motto, "Remember the Maine," high upon the face of II cliff 111 Ashley canyon would be a titling way to represent the sen timent of the rlt I S.'IIS of Ashley valley. Painter Leo . Volght Hulled to go up nud do the work. A new flve rlghths Inch four stranded Manila nils' was used to hoist him to tho spot ou the liltT selected for the painting, which from measure ments taken was HoN feel from the bottom and -." fisi from tbt top sasna Of the cliff, not allowing for stretch of ropv. rw This Would show the cliff to lo BIIAVK of.llVMN no INO HIE WOIIK. twenty eight f.s-t Washington moini- higher than tho msnt tbs start wus made from 0 lodge alXt) feet from the base of the rlltr. Whcu Mr. Volght was rals.sl ulsuit 100 feet from th" hslgo the twist In the rope cuus.sl hliu to whirl around very rapidly and, to use his own expression, th.. eaanyon was full of cliffs. There iver.. cliffs to (ho right of htm, cliffs (o the left of him and cliffs all around him. It looked as If he were turning fast enough to throw his boots off. The children yelled, the women screamed and some Bhtd team of sym pathy for, as they supposed, n doomed man, but the twist w as sis.n out of the fops and the bravo tiermnn was hoist id tu the right point nnd did his work according to program. DESERVES MUCH CREDIT. WUcnmln Hoy Who Won Fame for ravsrg In th War with Vou In. Carl W. JnngSO, the lieutenant of tho nnvy who wus In command of the rVejnpatOCh when that Utile auxiliary bout was us.sl to cut the Mbit from Santiago to Kingston, Is one of tho few InrvlVOrS of the Maine disaster, and a braver man does not wenr tlie button. In a war full of Incidents like thOSS that have mads this war unlliM, ex ploits must ,e of an extraordinary and anbeard of cbaracttr to attract atten tion, Jungen's font 111 culling the n ble under a shower of Spanish shells has Iss'ii dwarfed by other dramatic mutters, but not even Hobson was braver thsn were Jtingen and his men mi tlie Wiimpatuok. For fifty minutes tlie little tug worked nt the cable, whlhi a Spanish gun poured a continuous tiro uiwu It, supplemclitis.1 by u fusillade from soldiers on tlw ahore behind fortl- fli'iitloiis. Jungen's inline has U-en frindy mention. si In tho dtsptiobst, mid he deserves all the credit that will Iki given him. Culling a cable Is a prosaic Job, but the WampatttCh and her men mads It a spectacle. Jiingcn Is a Wis consin boy, ami was rals.M to his pres ent rank In 1N. 80ME VERY OLD PISTOLS. Small 1 in .Hi"- nt hang Ago and How They Were, t.'aeil. The faii that tho government regula tions do not provide for Its naval of (1. ers any prescribed style of pistol bus caused a renewed Interest In the side arms worn by our prttsnl hens'S. Not- withstanding tbs cJrcumstanoss, no naval man In authority Is without his faithful lltitlo pistol, and many of Uao r ,40 AvAtt rs r I'Istoi.s, oi.n ash xr.y. ih-adly n.apoiis are handsouicly flu labamt It Is said, however, that the workers of a couple of centuries ago put more elaborate skill In tho decora tions of the arms of those days than Is used now. Hut now the wish of tho bearer Is to owu a thing of usefulness rather than Is'iiuly, and no one pre sumes to compare tho rapid, faUil llttlo Implements of to-day with the clumsy, slow, blundering arms of tho uurly days of thu pistol. At Cloac. Uanae. Hattle- Ho you and Juck quarreled did you? Ella Yea; he said something that 1 didn't like, and I told him wu must be strangers henceforth. Hattle And did he fall on his knees and ask you to forgive blm? Klla Not h". You see he thut Is, bll kuctw were occupied at the time. Home men are always out when their rouutry colla. The bicyclist gets there with both pedals. ItfVH.lMlll km m k ism O. W. IDIOM, IB CO. H'8 MASCOT. fnuth ".i v .i.i Volunteer Hove a rioat for u i Companion. (n the transport St. Paul, which went from San Promise., to Mantis, was a iKIssenger entered on the pur ser's Ms! as "one currier pig. on." What might have N-cn a white-winged ines- engec wus, in f.u t, notbbMj but a billy goat. Hilly was Ixiok.sl as a tarrltf pigeon becaoaoarmy regulations do not provide for poaaga of goats Tin' end. chewer Is the pn,HTty of Co. II of tho South Dakota Volunteers. lie wna taken to Sail Francis, o from Water town when the regliueiit was ordered to Join Merrill's troops. Co. II was "IIII.I.Y. the crack one In the South Dakota N i tlOUa guanl, and was belter known as tlie lioveruor's guards. Hilly lias hStU a (Sinstant Companion of the soldiers for years. When he sailed for Manila the ani mal WOtB ns natty a blue blouse as any vol un tear ever put on. Also there was a bawnntt f Bowers on his bead, and around his hBCh he wore an amulet with this Uucrfptloni "I'm u butter from the lulls of S.nitli Dt knt ii, As frolicsome iih ever WOTS n whisker; I'm a I'nthler mill the very kind of a goal a Human being in front if should walk brisker." He known Intuitively those who are entitled to solutes, and If any other Hrsoii tries to give him orders be does not hesitate to butt them. When mi officer stands lu front of him mid or ders 111 i it to attention, he will rise on his hind legs and make a dignified solute with his right forefoot balanc ing hlmsWf the while and looking as military as (Misslble. Slu. It Is the duty of tho church and of Christian i pic to fight sin of all kjnda.-itev. p. c. Ottrntck. Cincin nati, o. Mvo with (Sod.--We were created to love and live with Ood, Itev. .1. K. Montgomery, Presbyterian, Cliielmiatl, Ohio. Seetloiiallsm. Wo foster sectlounl feelings no longer. Fraternity Is re-Instated.- Hev. F. It. (in linglon, Con gregatloliilllst, San Francisco, Cal. lleii. -Whatever helps to strengthen the nation helps also the cause of true religion. Hev. A. V. (1. Allen, Fplseo pallaii, Cambridge, Mass. Mercy for All. The love of Christ ptnSSth knowledge; none are beyond the reach of Infinite mercy. Itev. Mr. HarN-r, Baptist Columbus, O. To-morrow. To-morrow belongs to our Heavenly Father; I would not know Its SSCfttS If I could. Kev. Dr. Cuytsr, Prcsbyteiimi, Hrooklyii, N. V. War. I uin not war's apologist. No man who tries to follow Cartel can, be cause war means fight, and light means kfll. Hev. J. M. Scovlll, Haptlst, Phil adelphia, Pa. Without (Sod.-If the Hlble had until In,: to stay the hunger or ijticiich tho thirst, then Indeed Is man without Qod, - Hev. C. 0. Hall, Presbyterian, Nevvr York City. Fduciitloii.- Through cWUteatloS MI per cent of humanity are left free to rervs In the grander Interests of educa tion. Hev. Lyman Abbott, Coiigrega- Uooaltot Brooktyn, N. Y. Bvointlon, Bvolntlon is opening the doors wider mid wider to fr.ssloi d ndmlts n "living will" In Qod ami man. - Hev. T. T. Munger, I'liltarlan, New Haven, Connecticut. A I. ail, of (Sod. Men an- turning wenrlly from organization ami ritual because there Is no! enough of Uod 111 them. Itev. F. James, Hplseopallmi. Philadelphia, Pn. ilr. at Helps. Pleasant greetings and cordial hand clasps from the lull) do more for u church than powerful sp inous from the preacher. Itev. Pratt Crane, Methodist, Chicago, 111. Woman. There Is no cause In thjt world that can fully succeed If woman sets herself Bgslnsl It. No CttttBS "an fall If she unitedly supports It. Uev. F. Ooodchlld, Haptlst, New York City. Belief.- Belters In (Sod ami In man and trust and serve them. Hollow lu purity, In love, lu honor, lu usefulness, Ho brave and full of hope. Itev. J. W. Atwood, Episcopalian. Columbus, (). Cotton Mills In Hwltserlanit. lu Itiiar. Switzerland, there Is a 1 1 1. -000-aplndbl cotton mill run by electric power from the lthoue, which river Is only a few hundred feet away. Three motors are kept, of which one drives the openers, cards, combing machlues, druwlug and flyer frames, nud supplies j'-i I. nuii ., the --.nil. I drives the mules and the third the ventilating fun und workshop. Men With v. heels In ihelr head are of a mvcbaulrnl turn of mind. It's a mean man th.it Isn't a hero m the nyce of his dog.