A fm Ml 3-t II k a il rv, 1-a . a, F If ll. - -- EEEiESSaSEIEffiSaffiEgiijsiasiiSjgg I GOOD : EB ' : ILLIAX 8XKLI teacher of t b e first grade Id building Xo. a. public schools of Windsor, turned quickly from the bl a ckbonrd whereon she had been drawing a pert wreu SW'lllg- Inn on a spray of clover. "Who Is cry ing?" she asked lu a nvwt, II im voice. "It I little As- flos Gregory," volunteered a dimple facts! Imy who nit uenr. Miss Snell crossed I lie room nnd bent orer the child. Ague, little sunshine lassie, what la It? Can you not tell me about It?" Sobs were A jrin's only reply. Miss Boi'!l kissed her gently, then went back to tier work. When It was finished nud the children all provided with work, llie lifted the sobbing child and ten derly carried her to the tencher's desk. Here somewhat removed from the cu rious little ones, Lillian set about toothing her pupil. Agues was a pretty fair-faced child of ll. She hud sunny blue eyes and bulr, a golden chestnut, curled about ber face and neck. Her clothing was clean but well worn, and Lillian notic ed the gap.ug hole in the tiny shoe, as well as the thinness of the faded dress. Noticed It with a sympathetic thrill of the heart that throbbed with some thing uf the divine spirit of mother Loud toward the children lu her care. Agues' story was soon told. Her widowed mother had bad no breakfast for her little ones. "I don't care so mi'ch about myself, Miss Snell," the child went on, artless ly, "'cause I'm uiainma's brave girl, but when little brother lloyce wakes up he will lie so hungry and be Is ouly :( years old. lie dues not know he mustn't cry." A little more questioning and Lillian learned tliat some one owed Mrs. Greg ory for sewing, also tint she hoped to buve dinner ready when Agnes cntue borne. Lillian looked out Into the driving norm of a January afternoon. She Luew Mrs. Gregory and her heart ached fur the pale young mother. Miss Shell was quick of thought and action. Ten minutes later Agnes was In a warm cloak room, feasting on the dainty lunch Mrs. Snell had prepared for her daughter's midday meal. The .young teacher had written a note ami list of articles of food, and was at ?lie dour of the room across the hall. The teacher, Florence Fox, listened ympathetlcally to Lillian's story nnd io the sugg-stlon that her own LJ-yenr-.Old brother be called from the sixth grade to deliver the note. t "Of course Fred can iro." she cried and LI Ulan, you say you hnve written Davis the circumstances and i o Mr. asKeu nun for good weight. I'll send an order to Cousin Hugh for a hnlf cord of wood, tell hi in the story and bsk mm likewise for good weight." a taint crimson (lush stained Lill ian's cheek, but she warmlv thnuked Jher frleud and hurried back to her work. 1 Mark Davis was a stout, genial-faced nan of 3S. He sat In bis olllce, his morning's work at bis books Just finish ed. Through the open door he could fee the brisk clerks stepping about In the grocery store from which the olllce opened. There was odor of sjilces. cof fw. fruit and llsh In the air. "Klght hundred dollars more profit bis year tiiau last," the grocer said to himself. "Somehow It doesn't do a man any good to pile up money wbeu bus no one to spend It on." Here his reverie was cut short by the entrance 0f a clerk, who handed him an envelope, saying: "A boy Just brought tills." Two papers dropped from the en Wlope as he tore It open. The first a a list. Including a loaf of bread, Potatoes, crackers, dried beef and a ' other articles. He danced over It ud opened the other. It was Lillian's note. "I'ear Mr. Davis: A little elrl In mv foom Is crying because she has had no "fakfast. Her name Is Acnes Greir- 0I7. and her "mother Is a poor widow. no lives on the third floor of No. 4 Hampton street. Plena ..n,1 tl,o th'tigs ordered at once. I will come In s'ler school and jay for them. And, Mr. Davis. Ill, . s trlra enil tvnlirlif Tr"ly yours, LILLIAN SXKLL." a'r. Davis hud lon a frlnmt nf h Snell fanillv for rir mirt It was not 'be first time that Lillian hnd anneal ed to him for belu In her charitable wrk. So tbat was not the reason that o strange a look came into bis bouest urown eves. Agnes Gregory, and lives on Hamp- ton ireet, he murmured. "It surely niut be Margaret'a child. Good God: Margaret nH k bread T' A half bonr later Mark Davis was Wiling hi W tin Ills ililn In tho fl" upon which Mrs. Gregory's rooms w situated. Ills knock at the first answered by a red-faced wian. Pi WEIGHT. eg B9 "Mis' Gregory, Is It you air wnntlnr she asked shandy. "An' It's no bad news you ulr after brlnglu her, I hope. "I wanted to deliver some groceries a rrieud lias sent her." lhe clouded face cleared as If by wiiKic. iieaveus inissin 1h on vcr neatl. thou: .Mis Gregory, she's gone out, but I v her key here, nud will un lock the door. That's her b'y, an' a swnte child he Is." Mark eagerly looked at the pink and white face of the boy. lie held out a jiiiui, kiihicu orange, ami mile Kovce sprang for It, his childish laugh echo Ing through the room. Then the grocer followed Mrs. Donovan to the home of Margaret Gregory. It was a bare place, bur clean and neat. Mark sighed as bo noted the signs of abject poverty. While the de livery man was bringing up the par cel. Mrs. Donovan volubly explained that Mrs. (Jregory had gone to try to get some money due her. The warm hearted Irish woman hnd surmised that fortune was at a low ebb with her Tielghbor, partly because of little Noyce's unusual fretfulness, which hnd been quieted by a huge slice of bread and butter. "She's worked her precious fingers 'most to the bone," she concluded, "but work's scarce, an' I don't know what ever" golu' to become of her and her babies." The wood soon came. Florence's half cord bad Ih'cu re-euforccd by a whole cord, perhaps because she bad written her cousin that the needy widow was a protege of Miss Snell's. As to Lillian's orders for groceries, Mr. Davis had added to It n sack of flour, a ham, coffee, tea, sugar, apples, cookies, cheese, canned fruits and meats, and a big bag of candy. Mrs. lHiunvuu went back to her own room and the wagons rolled away. Mark hastily built a tire, then sat down to think how Inst to explnlu the liberty be bad taken. The bare room faded from bis vision as be sal there. In Its place came an old country garden overgrown with roses and clematis. It was June and the air was heavy with the scent of many blossoms, lty his side was a beautiful girl In whose curls the sun shine seemed entangled. He bent low er and the rose-red lips of bis compan ion murmured, "I love you. Mark." Still lower his head sank until his lips touched the ones that had uttered the sweet words. A start, and he sat upright, glancing around hlui. That was ten years ago. He was poor then, and Margaret, beau tiful Margaret Henson, bad been the only daughter of a wealthy home. So their engagement had been forbidden. They parted, vowing eternal constancy. A year later Margaret became the wife of Vance Gregory, but It was not until months after that Murk learned of the treachery and deceit that bad been em ployed to urge her to that step. It was too late then. There was nothing to do but eudtire. He had known fur some time that Margaret was a widow and lived In the city. He knew nothing of her toverty, supposing that her means were ample. To go to her now with a story of love had never occurred to him. She knew nothing of whnt had parted them. He could not blacken the memory of the man who had been her husband, the father of her children He spraug to his feet. There was no need of an explanation. He passed out, pausing for a final word with Mrs. Donovan. "Tell Mrs. Gregory the things came from the teachers at Xo. 3." "To be sure, Mr. Davis," responded the woman, who had recogulzod Murk. "I'll tell her all 'lout It. And may the bllssln's of all the saints rest on your dear head!" Mark hurried nway, leaving a shin ing sliver dollar In Hoyce's hand. It was only a few minutes after Ida departure tbat a thinly clad woman AONKS' STOliV WAS SOOX TOI.t. came tolling wearily up the stairs. It was Margaret Gregory. The woman who owed her was out of town. The needy mother bad applied at several places for work, only to meet with re fusal. Then she had gone to a store and begged for credit, but In vain. She had reached the end. There was but one way open. She would ask Mrs. Donovan to give ber children their din ner. When she had rested and con quered the bitter rebellion In her heart the would go out again and apply to tbe city for charity. ILajrgarst Gregory was proud. She was already fufnt for the want of food. et she turned In loathing from tl thnngbt of a meal obtained In that way. It would be worse ilmu death, but death doesn't cotiie at one's call, and there were her babies. A dry .n bi:rt from her l!p. fiiie pawl Mrs. Donovan's door In silence. She must have a moment to hernelf be fore she could ak charity of one po,ir as her kind neighbor. Hurrying on she pushed owu her uwn door. A bright tire wa blaming In the cracked move. Mrs. Donovan had pre pared potatoes for the oven and cut silo ready for frying from the ham. The open door of the wood closet show ed a huge pile, while the table was beaiM'd high with food. For a moment she stood gazing w ild ly around her. Then she dropped on her knee ami a shower of tears re lieved her overwrought nerve. The next day's mall brought a letter from Margaret to Mr. Davis. The writer hud gone to Miss Snell to thank her. From the young teacher she had learned of Mark's connection w 1th the affair. It was an earnest, grateful letter, blotted here and there with tear stains. She accepted Ills generosity; for her children's sake she could not refuse charity. She referred to the friendship hat bad existed between their parents, but Mark was glad she was too wom anly a woman to even hint at the rela tion they had once borne to each other. When he finished rending the letter his heart was light, for he understood that Margaret knew of the treachery that had blotted the sunshine of his life. Mark went straight home nnd told his nuut, who was also his housekeep er, all altout It. Mrs. Kverts was knit ting In-fore the open coal lire. She was a bright-faced old lady, with soft white hair and a serene face. When he had finished she laid down her work and sat for a long time gazing Into the dancing flames. "The only daughter of my old friend. Ilobccca llenson, lu want of food," she said, a note of pain In l.er voice. "Mark, you and I both have plenty of money. SIIK MET HIM rn.NKI.V AMI WITH UN HISIU ISKK ri.a ASl llK. there Is room In this bouse, and In our hearts, for Margaret ami her tables. Iut she Is proud. Go and ask her to come and sew for me. Tell her I am '.onely. nnd ask her to bring her little ones to brighten me up. Mark bent to kiss the placid face. "Thank you. Aunt Lisle, I see you un derstand." A few hours later be knock ed at Maragret's door. He saw that the years had changed her. The wild rose bloom bad faded from her cheeks, tears had washed the Joyous light from ber blue eyes; yet It was surely thai Margaret that he had loved that stood before hi in. She met hi in frankly and with un disguised pleasure. Her voice trembled when she undertook to express her gratitude. Mark made light of the whole nffalr and Insisted on talking of heir childhood days. The fruit and nuts he brought proved an open sesame to the hearts of Agnes and Uoyee. and they were soon on the best of terms with the caller. Margaret was very grateful for the offer of work. She hesitated a little over accepting Mrs. Kverts' kind Invi tation, fearing lest the children prove an annoyance. Hut when Mark drew a touching picture of the loneliness of his nuut she gladly coii.scntcd to come. It was arranged that the carriage come after the Gregorlcs t!.e following after noon. One morning, two months later, Flor ence Fox tripped across the hall at Xo. li and entered Miss Suoll's room. "Of course you are going to the wed ding reception Thursday evening." she ltcgnti. "I think It Is such a lovely marriage, don't you?" "Indeed I do replied Lillian, warm ly. "Yes, I am to go In the afternoon and help with the decorations. The whole house Is to be In green and white, smllax, ferns, roses and carna tions. Mrs. Kverts says Mr. Davis can not do too much for his bride; 'our dear Margaret,' th sweet old lady calls her." "And I ltellevc It all came about from your begging hi in to give her good weight," Florence cried merrily. He Is obeying your request In an ex trnvagnut manner. And, Lillian, Is not thnt pretty pearl ring and the lcntltlc expression on Cousin Hugh's face the result of uiy efforts along the aame Hue of charitable work?" The bell rang then, and the blusl.;ig Lillian was spared the nec(slty of a reply. Utlca Globe. Montana Kloquence. The ltozeiiinn (Muni.) Chronicle trills of a Molilalia legislator who, w hen tome corrections In spelling and gram mar In his bill were called to his atten tion by the committee, said: "Why you fellows have mucllated It!" It was the same statesman who said, In address ing a committee of which he was a member: "The mudly slough of poli tics was the Innvlder tqiou whleb the law was split In twain and fell In a thousand pieces from the pedro of Jus tice. Let us, then, gear up our loins that we can go forth wltb a clear head." In a new bicycle brake a friction disk Is fastened to the front sprocket wheel, with the brake shoe attached to a Joint ed rod mounted on the bottom brace of tbe bicycle frame, a spring holding the two rods lu a bent position, so that pressure on tbe footplate at the Joint will cause tbetu to strulghten out and press tbe shoe against the disk. Tbat man don't live who has out at one time thought be bal ail tb 1s uitoU of greatness In him. HORSESHOERS OF OLDEN TIMES Autlijuity of the Craft llluatrulrd In Ancient CUaalc Art. The early historians made a ad mis take when they neglected to hand down to posterity a record of the l:es and manner of these ancient craftsmen, fur by I hem we could Ih letter able H Judge of th Intelligence of the eoile of that period, us In all agi- the smithy ha been rtvogulxcd a the center of In telligence In rural communities. I lm - no doubt the shoer of ancient tim was quite .in Important cliap. a hi work was very essential to tiie preser vation of limit and life. While we have lecn depl'Ued of a knowledge of the shoer himself and his ways, we can feast our eyes on some of his works, at least representation of them In art pic- tun-s. and It Is doubtful If some of these nrtlsls didn't work their Imag inations an .' put the shoe then In use on their subject. Hans Itcrghmau. In hi "HorM- of Antiquity," represents a plumed knight on horchaek. The horse had nil sol heel on hi shisn, which were fastened on by nails, ap parently, three on each side (painted in H":ti. He has another showing a groom leading two horses that are ap parently shod with tint, thick heeled hois. There Is another picture by AllM'rt Durer (ltTli which show a kulght on horseback, w hose horse Is shod with a Hat shoe bating a wide web at the toe, much like the tin' weight of the present day. lie also has another good picture of a heavy draft horse that is shod with heel calks il.'idM. Another German painter, aNuit that t'uic, I. ilea. t Granach (l-lTJl has a horse and jilumed knight, the home having heel calk and nails. The Knglish lu the sixteenth century represent a horse figure called the "Tournament Hull," that Is shod with a shoe that look like the Dunning steel shoe, or tbe Goodeiioiigh of the present day. having tine, small calks on the side, or they might be extra large null heads. The Italian masters show the toe weight shoe In the fifteenth century. They have a picture taken from a fres co painting lu the Campo Santa de I'lsa. The horseman I one of the fol lowers of Pilate, nud the artist repre sents hi in as one of the cortege of Christ bearing his crows toward Gol gotha. Ills horse has heel calks and the shoe nailed on. The French have a picture of a knight on horsctack. shod with Hat shoes lu the twelfth century. He carries a Mult cm' banner, and It Is lu the cathedral of Chart us. A study of these pictures surprises us and somewhat lessen the self etccni we may have Indulged In at our pro grcKsivciicss, for. after all, many of our rupHised new Ideas are only resurrec tions. Kvc.i the felt shoe Is as obi as the hills, as note this little bit of an cient gossip: lu Lord Herbert's "Life of Henry VIII." It Is slated that that monarch white in France, having feasted the la dles royally for divers days, departed from Tourney to Lisle, Oct. l.'l, l.'il.'l, wbl tier he was Invited by the Lady Margaret, who caused them a Joust or tournament to bo held In an extraordi nary matiiNr, the place being a large room raised high from the ground by many steps and paved by black square stoni like marble, while the horses, to prevent slipping, were shod with felt, nfter which the ladles danced all night. A shoe of the seventeenth century was found with a fullered margin, or, a we say. creased, and calks, with the letters II. I. stamped on It, evidently the Initials of the maker. There Is n complete treatise on shoe ing by Caesar Flnschl, written In the seventeenth century. Along alxnit lillil nnd later there must have leen quite a fad In fancy shoeing, and silver cheap er thnu It Is to-day, as we find It whs used for horseshoes. When a certain Lord Doncr.ster, an Knglish ambassa dor, entered I'arlS bis horse was shod with silver shoos, and when he enme to a place where beauties of cmlncmi' were stntloiMd the cavorting of the charger would make him cast a shoe, which the greedy bystanders sera in Med for, while a liveried farrier came and tacked on another one, and thus with much ado be reached the Louvre. In the eighteenth century the craft gained In prestige and honors, having taken up the art of doctoring. There can le no doubt their methods In this respect were crude and barbarous, but they hnd a better excuse for such treat ment than some of those that continue their methods to the present day. Many farriers held places of honor, nud some were Just as conceited as many of our youngsters to-day. Many maids could echo the fair Fort la's sentiment when she said of ber lover that he den's noth ing btij talk continually of his horse, and Inyeth great appropriation to his own good parts, that he can shoe him himself. Horseshoer's Journal. Political I'eellng In Austria. The bitter fooling between the two races who comprise the Kmperor Franx Jos"ph's subjects lluds expression not only lu tbe Austro -Hungarian parlia ment. An Englishman recently sent tbe following account of an experience lu Fragile to the Westminster Gazette: "A day or two ago I entered a Czech cafe, in a little frequented part of Prague, and chanced to forget to take off my hat Imnicsllaiely on entering, a custom which prevails almost every where In German -speaking countries. This was apparently taken as an Insult by the jsNipIe In the cafe, and fo my surprise, I was greeted by a veritable storm of shouts and hisses. For a few moments, having no knowledge of tho Czech language, I did not realize my of fense, but seeing that they had mis taken me for a German, and fearing that they might really attack me, as several Germans have lx-en attacked and maltreated lately, I called out In German, 'I urn Knglish.' The effect of the announcement was Instantaneous, nnd the tumult linmisllately subshbsl. Hut later on, I qw-stloiiod the waiter, who told me that 'pig' and dog' were among the polite epithets the Czechs had shouted at me when they mistook my nationality." Why Tliejr Have Disappeared. Thirty years ago the vast plains of the West were bluck from horizon to horizon with buffalo. Col. Henry In man says. In hi Interesting Isxik, "The Old Santa Fe Trail," that In tbe au tumn of lW be rode, for three con secutive days, through one continuous l.crd of buffalo, which must bare con tained million. In lK) a train on th Kansas Pncltle liallroad nan delayed from l a. in. until .1 p. in.. In conse quence of the passage of an Immense herd of buffalo m ros the track. X ' the buffalo I almost extinct. Col. In dian' explanation of the disappearance of the shaggy monster I, abridged, as follow : From Invs to ISM. a periinl of only thirteen years, they were slailglllered for their hides and Imiiics. llctwecii those dates, the ciii'Inui works of St. Louis nnd other cities lltlll.ed the skel otoii of over thirty niie millions of buf falo. In Kansas alone the agent of these coiiipnulc paid out for buffalo bones, gathered on the prairies, ten million the hundred thousand dollars. It lsulred one biiudrisl carcasses to make one ton of bones, ami lhe price paid averaged $s a ton. The completion of the I'nlou PaclnV llallroail ami It branch lu Kansas was the occasion of the licginullig of the wholesale slahghtcr of the buffalo. Hunters entered (lie regions to which the railroads gave them access, and killed the animals for their hides. Crow d of tourists, w hile crossing the continent, killed the buffalo from the cars. lu those days, the most conspicuous object along the tracks of the rail road were the dried carcasses of buffa lo, slaughtered by passengers, who never sought the tongue or the hide of tbe animal they killed. The hide hunters slaughtered so wan tonly that. In some place on the open prairie, one could walk for hours on lhe dead bodies of the buffaloes, without stepping off them to the ground. Providence move lu a mysterious way. The India nof the prairies de pended oil the buffalo for food and tents and robes. The removal of the buffalo means that the Indian must live In frame bouses, till the ground, and dress In cloth. Sang at the Wronj Time. "I cannot sing, unfortunately," said n Chicago minister In speaking to n Times Herald reporter of his early pul pit experiences, "ami so whenever I conducted revival service I Used to take along a friend of mine named Vin cent, a great, strapping fellow with a voice like t'.e north w ind. He never had had any musical training, but Oh, lie could slug. Whenever be sailed Into a hymn the cornfields would turn their enr toward the church. "Iu those days hymn Isioks were scarce, and It was customary for the minister to rend two Hues of some fami liar hymn and the congregation would then sing them, the tune Itclng gen erally known, tin one occasion I read two llin-s of n long meter hymn and Vincent bsl the singing magnificently. Then 1 picked up the llible and read my text: 'Is there no balm In Gllead? Is uo physician there?' 1 laid down the IxMtk; but before I could begin preaching Vincent's voice arose, loud and clear, and the congregation follow ed li I in In singing the text. "Too much surprised to collect my scattered senses. I leaned over the pul pit and in a stage whisper said to Vincent: 'The words I gave you were the text and not a hymn at all.' Tills time Vincent bad a monopoly of the singing, for the congregation had not caught the words; but he never slop ped or wavered until he had sung every word of my confidential remark to hlui. "I sank Into my sent. For the next five minutes I didn't dare open my mouth for fear Vincent would sing me down. I paid him off thnt night after tho services." 1 lie Instalment Plan. Sometimes, without doubt, American and Itritlsh Judges, who are held to a close accountability to the letter of n law which may have In It no Justice for n particular case, may well sigh for the latitude of an Oriental cadi. Some times, moreover, they may rightfully bend the administration of the law In the direction of absolute Justice. An Knglish paper, for Instance, re cords a peculiar decision In the suit of a usurer against n poor woman. The man bad lent the woman money In Hindi a way that It was to Ik paid In Instalments and wit It monthly usurious Interest. The woman wiih unable to pay the amount due. The Judge satisfied himself that tbe woman was honest and honorable, and thnt what she had already paid In In stalment would cover the original loan nnd a resectable Interest. "Will you accept X.'t In dlschnrge?" asked tbe Judge of the plaintiff; "you will then have had 10 per cent, on the loan." The plaintiff would accept nothing less than the full amount to which the law entitled him. "Then," said the Judge, "although I cannot Invalidate the agreement, I can make an order which, I think, will tit the case. I give Judgment for I lie full amount, to be paid at the rate of six pence a month." This was the "Instalment system" with a vengeance, for at this rate of payment tho usurer would be seventy five years In getting his money. Not Ills Province. The Xew Knglnnd ministers of early days were expected to preserve an as pect grave to tho verge of solemnity on all occasions, not only on Sundays but week-days lis well. If they possessed a sense of humor It sometimes made It self evident even In the midst of devo tional exercises. One Xew Hampshire parish was guarded and guided by a quaint-spcaK-Ing elderly man, who had a slight lisp. He was fond of outdoor work of almost every sort and was an able farmer as well as preacher; but all domestic mai lers he relegated to his wife. Oue day the old traveling baker see ing the minister at work III the field, drew rein, nud wheu the Jingling of his horse's bell had subsided, he calhd out: "Any crackers wanted today, parson i .... t The minister raised his head, and sur veyed the baker from under his shaggy eyebrows. Xo smile of greeting crossed bis solemn face. "Abraham 'n the field," he rescinded, gravely, "Tharah (Snrahl In the tent;" and without another word he resumed bis booing, and left the baker to digest his Hlbllcal reproof and drive' on to the house to find out If "Sarah would buy any of bis wares. Youth's Companion. Tbe wife may congratulate herself on having made a good match If ber bus band never goes cU ulgbt. OUIt BUDGET OP FUN. HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO INGS HERE AND THERE. Jokrs sod Johelrta that Are Pnppo! to llavt Hrrn Krerntlj Bora Ptayliius sail Doluga tbat ArOill,Crlima auj Laugaabl-Tu Week's Humeri Her Clio of llllaa Wa Full. Sue-. Nell, If you were a mini what would you do? Xell (who ha worn an engagement ring for three day)-Why, I'd want to be a girl again. Hlie lltiil No I'ronfa. Mr. Slowboy -Did you know that I wa a member of the Pre Club? Ml Willing - Certainly not. How was I to know? X. It -Miss Willing told ber chum next day that Slow Imy had a perfecting press for printing klcM. Fond of Art. Dear Mother-I have tried my band at art and am taking a number of pic ture. Yours, T. A. Ke'in. Clnclunall Knqulrer. At the Wroiw llrak. Caber (lu newspaper olllce) Hello, old man! Anything new to-day? Paragrapher- Well, I'm surprised. And you an old newspaper man, too! Caller W hy, what do you menu? Paragrnplier-The Idea of any limn possessing ordinary Intelligence tim ing Into the humorous department nnd asking If there I anything new. lie Th uitht It Proper. "I hope you do not consider It wrong for a young lady to wear tine clothes, necklaces, rings and things of that sort," said Miss Giddy to the young minister. "Certainly not," replied the youthful parson, "w hen the heart Is full of vain ami ridiculous notions there Is nothing objectionable In banging out the sign." (let tin ut the Fact. Dlxon-1 understand that you said I didn't know as much as your yellow dog. Illxon- I never said anything of the kind. Dixon-Then what did you say? IIIon-l said my yellow dog knew more than you did. laiiuil to I. cup Viar, "Do you know, Miss Willing," said young WimhIIh. the other evening, "that your face reminds me uf a perfect mir ror?" "Does It? she asked; "and why so. pray ?" "llccaiise." be replied, "It reflects nothing but the truth." "Oh!" she exclaimed III a tone of ills appointment, "I thought It was for a belter reason than that." "What did you expect me to say?'! bo asked. "1 thought," continued the blushing maid, "that It was because every tlmu you looked lu my face you saw your own." The engagement bns been announced With Ills Last llrrsth. "Have you anything to say?" asked the sheriff, as he strapped tho murderer In the electric chair. "I Just want to point out what fools those people were who said I was Itorn to lie hanged," replied the criminal, with a smile of triumph. -Philadelphia North American. A Hire Henietlr. Clare I wish I could get something that would prevent my Hps from chap ping. Maude Why don't you try entlng onions? Clare Is that a good remedy? Maude Yes; It keeps the chaps away. 1 Acknowledging th Corn." $3a Detroit Freo Press. Anil' us to Meet Hint. Roftlelgh You must excuse me, Miss Cutting, I'm not quite myself to-night. Miss Cnttlng-llow delightful how delightful; Introduce me to the other fellow, will you? PiiBBratlng a Heniedv. Mrs. Jnggs-I'm at a loss to know what to do for my husband; he suffers utmost continually from headaches. Mrs. Xaggs-Why don't you try to persuade him fo resign? Mrs. Jaggs lieslgn from whnt? Mrs. Xuggs Why, from the club, of course. Just a War They Have. lie (of Xew Y'ork) And wns your father's cashier short lu his accounts? She (of Itoston) Yes; I understand bis financial computations were some what abbreviated. As flthera See La. Mrs. Teller 1 spent the afternoon with our new neighbor and I don't think very much of her. Mr. Teller Why not, my dear? Mrs. Teller She takes too much de light In listening to scandal; I uever saw her equal. Two of a Kind. Ik' Why does a woman wear an other woman's bulr on ber bead? She Why docs a man wear another culfs uLIu ou bis feet? Wffat He Heqnlred. Customer Have you an artistic ci gar? Dealer What do you mean? Customer Why, one tbat drawa well. A Pole ma Sahjeet. The Widow I wonder why crape I the emblem of sorrow? The Hachelor Probably because three feet of It make a grave yard. Two Points nf View, Dlggs-Senator Poser seems to be fc inn li of very broad view. Hlggs-Yes, Indeed; I don't believe It I possible to bring up a question that be can't straddle. Acrnrdliitf to lllnaley. "Y'oil will have to pay extra for this," said the custom otllcer to tho return ing tourist. "Why must I pay extra?" asked tbe traveler. "Heeiiuse It's your duty," replied the bean leas official. Wlae ami titherwlae. l he w ise man bin umbrella takes When he mart mil for a roam; lint othe rs who take chalice oft ltring aniiie other fellow's hump, Aasurunce nf fence. Teachcr-I have Urn talking to you of ieni-e. I suppose you all kuew tbe meaning of the word? Johnnie- I do. sir. Tcncher-What I It, Johnnie? Johnnie It's what we have at our house w lieu pa goes off on one of his trips.-Klchiuoiid Dispatch. llnalncsa, Itookkeeper This man has always paid cash and now wants to ohu an account. Shall I accommodate him? Manager- Certainly not. ltookkccMT--And thl man has bad an account and now pays cash. Manager Never ttust him again. Ilrooklyn Life. Hail Not bed It. She (gushingly! There are daya w hen we seem more In unison with na ture than other times, w hen our hearts seem to beat III accord with the sub lime harmony of the universe. Have you ever noticed It? lie-Indeed I have. It It always that way wltb me on pay day. Tit lilts. Time Works Wonders. Doctor After a careful examination I fall to find any symptoms of Insanity lu the lady. Softini Well, I want you to be posi tive about It; she Is my wife. Doctor-How long have you been married? Softun Three years. Doctor I cau readily understand that she must have liecn crazy at that time, but I can nssure you that she uo longer labor under any of ber former delu sions. Just Wfattt He Wanted. Itev. Seldom Stlrsem Ob, my friend, to see your plight makes me too full for nttci anccl Sooner Soaktim Wilsli I could git full. iHiduer, by Jus' scclu' plight. Chicago Inter Ocean. An Kiplaimtlon. "Look!" exclaimed a lady to her com piiulon at tho opera. "There Is Mrs. Oldlne lu that box. Her bulr Is Jet black and I'm jiosltlve It was streaked with gray the lust time I saw ber." "Very true, dear," replied tho other, "but you know ber only brother died three mouths ago." "Indeed! Hut what has that got to do wltb the color of ber hair?" "Why, don't you understand? She's In mourning." Not What lis Heqnlred. Customer Have you anything that's good for a cough? Druggist-Yes. I have a delightful cough mixture that I can recommend. Customer Won't do. Mine la uot a delightful cough. The Kvltlence at Hand. Giles It Is said that the scanty gar meats woru by tho barbarous rocis ac count for the unusual longevity among them. Smiles I don't doubt It. Just look at the great ago attained by our bullet girls. Two Ways of Impressing It. "Oh, don't worry about such trifles," said tho Xew York girl. "Jmjt keep a stiff upper lip aud you'll come out all right." "Hut," replied ber Iloston cousin, "It Is a physical Impossibility for me to uialululu a superior labial rigidity." lleartleaa Wretch. Mrs. Ferry That husband of Jenny McCluecer's Is the most heartless wretch I ever heard of. Mr. Ferry Heally, my dear, you seem Indignant. "Who wouldn't be Indignant on hear ing of a man who was trying to train bis baby to cry every morning at 0 o'clock, so that Ha father won't over sleep himself T' Cincinnati Knqulrer. Descent from a llalloon by Illoycle A phnrachutlst, known as "Profes sor" Anthony, bns accomplished a sen sational descent at Luton by dropping from a height of 3.IHH) feet while "ped aling" n bicycle. This Is said to be the first Introduction of tho bicycle In to this hazardous kind of exhibition. Slgnor lSnlleiil, of the Crystal Palace, took the 'balloon up wltb the "profes sor" dangling Is-low tho car, and when an elevatlou of 3,000 feet had been reuched, be gave the signal to drop. The parachute opened by an apparatus worked by "pedaling" the bicycle, and tho "professor" afterward stated tbat he dropped fifty feet before It opened properly. During that time be bad to "pedal" bnrd. Tbe desccut was very slow on account of tho parachute being rather too large, and the parachutist was carried by tbe wind to some farms near Cnddlugton, from which place be rode back to Luton. Pall Mall Gazette, Assured I'oaltlon. "Squills must consider himself thor oughly established as a doctor now," "Wbrr "He has quit wearing a silk bat and baa nothing but a name-plate on but door."-Clevland Plain Dealer. fa- $