A fm Ml 3-t II k a il rv, 1-a . a, F If ll. - --
EEEiESSaSEIEffiSaffiEgiijsiasiiSjgg
I GOOD :
EB ' :
ILLIAX 8XKLI
teacher of t b e
first grade Id
building Xo. a.
public schools of
Windsor, turned
quickly from the
bl a ckbonrd
whereon she had
been drawing a
pert wreu SW'lllg-
Inn on a spray of
clover.
"Who Is cry
ing?" she asked
lu a nvwt, II im
voice.
"It I little As-
flos Gregory," volunteered a dimple
facts! Imy who nit uenr.
Miss Snell crossed I lie room nnd bent
orer the child.
Ague, little sunshine lassie, what
la It? Can you not tell me about It?"
Sobs were A jrin's only reply. Miss
Boi'!l kissed her gently, then went back
to tier work. When It was finished nud
the children all provided with work,
llie lifted the sobbing child and ten
derly carried her to the tencher's desk.
Here somewhat removed from the cu
rious little ones, Lillian set about
toothing her pupil.
Agues was a pretty fair-faced child
of ll. She hud sunny blue eyes and
bulr, a golden chestnut, curled about
ber face and neck. Her clothing was
clean but well worn, and Lillian notic
ed the gap.ug hole in the tiny shoe, as
well as the thinness of the faded dress.
Noticed It with a sympathetic thrill of
the heart that throbbed with some
thing uf the divine spirit of mother
Loud toward the children lu her care.
Agues' story was soon told. Her
widowed mother had bad no breakfast
for her little ones.
"I don't care so mi'ch about myself,
Miss Snell," the child went on, artless
ly, "'cause I'm uiainma's brave girl,
but when little brother lloyce wakes
up he will lie so hungry and be Is
ouly :( years old. lie dues not know he
mustn't cry."
A little more questioning and Lillian
learned tliat some one owed Mrs. Greg
ory for sewing, also tint she hoped to
buve dinner ready when Agnes cntue
borne.
Lillian looked out Into the driving
norm of a January afternoon. She
Luew Mrs. Gregory and her heart
ached fur the pale young mother.
Miss Shell was quick of thought and
action. Ten minutes later Agnes was
In a warm cloak room, feasting on the
dainty lunch Mrs. Snell had prepared
for her daughter's midday meal. The
.young teacher had written a note ami
list of articles of food, and was at
?lie dour of the room across the hall.
The teacher, Florence Fox, listened
ympathetlcally to Lillian's story nnd
io the sugg-stlon that her own LJ-yenr-.Old
brother be called from the sixth
grade to deliver the note.
t "Of course Fred can iro." she cried
and LI
Ulan, you say you hnve written
Davis the circumstances and
i o Mr.
asKeu nun for good weight. I'll send
an order to Cousin Hugh for a hnlf
cord of wood, tell hi in the story and
bsk mm likewise for good weight."
a taint crimson (lush stained Lill
ian's cheek, but she warmlv thnuked
Jher frleud and hurried back to her
work.
1 Mark Davis was a stout, genial-faced
nan of 3S. He sat In bis olllce, his
morning's work at bis books Just finish
ed. Through the open door he could
fee the brisk clerks stepping about In
the grocery store from which the olllce
opened. There was odor of sjilces. cof
fw. fruit and llsh In the air.
"Klght hundred dollars more profit
bis year tiiau last," the grocer said to
himself. "Somehow It doesn't do a
man any good to pile up money wbeu
bus no one to spend It on."
Here his reverie was cut short by the
entrance 0f a clerk, who handed him an
envelope, saying: "A boy Just brought
tills."
Two papers dropped from the en
Wlope as he tore It open. The first
a a list. Including a loaf of bread,
Potatoes, crackers, dried beef and a
' other articles. He danced over It
ud opened the other. It was Lillian's
note.
"I'ear Mr. Davis: A little elrl In mv
foom Is crying because she has had no
"fakfast. Her name Is Acnes Greir-
0I7. and her "mother Is a poor widow.
no lives on the third floor of No. 4
Hampton street. Plena ..n,1 tl,o
th'tigs ordered at once. I will come In
s'ler school and jay for them. And,
Mr. Davis. Ill, . s trlra enil tvnlirlif
Tr"ly yours, LILLIAN SXKLL."
a'r. Davis hud lon a frlnmt nf h
Snell fanillv for rir mirt It was not
'be first time that Lillian hnd anneal
ed to him for belu In her charitable
wrk. So tbat was not the reason that
o strange a look came into bis bouest
urown eves.
Agnes Gregory, and lives on Hamp-
ton
ireet, he murmured. "It surely
niut be Margaret'a child. Good God:
Margaret nH k
bread T'
A half bonr later Mark Davis was
Wiling hi W tin Ills ililn In tho
fl" upon which Mrs. Gregory's rooms
w situated. Ills knock at the first
answered by a red-faced
wian.
Pi
WEIGHT.
eg
B9
"Mis' Gregory, Is It you air wnntlnr
she asked shandy. "An' It's no bad
news you ulr after brlnglu her, I
hope.
"I wanted to deliver some groceries
a rrieud lias sent her."
lhe clouded face cleared as If by
wiiKic. iieaveus inissin 1h on vcr
neatl. thou: .Mis Gregory, she's gone
out, but I v her key here, nud will un
lock the door. That's her b'y, an' a
swnte child he Is."
Mark eagerly looked at the pink and
white face of the boy. lie held out a
jiiiui, kiihicu orange, ami mile Kovce
sprang for It, his childish laugh echo
Ing through the room. Then the grocer
followed Mrs. Donovan to the home of
Margaret Gregory.
It was a bare place, bur clean and
neat. Mark sighed as bo noted the
signs of abject poverty. While the de
livery man was bringing up the par
cel. Mrs. Donovan volubly explained
that Mrs. (Jregory had gone to try to
get some money due her. The warm
hearted Irish woman hnd surmised
that fortune was at a low ebb with her
Tielghbor, partly because of little
Noyce's unusual fretfulness, which
hnd been quieted by a huge slice of
bread and butter.
"She's worked her precious fingers
'most to the bone," she concluded, "but
work's scarce, an' I don't know what
ever" golu' to become of her and her
babies."
The wood soon came. Florence's half
cord bad Ih'cu re-euforccd by a whole
cord, perhaps because she bad written
her cousin that the needy widow was
a protege of Miss Snell's.
As to Lillian's orders for groceries,
Mr. Davis had added to It n sack of
flour, a ham, coffee, tea, sugar, apples,
cookies, cheese, canned fruits and
meats, and a big bag of candy.
Mrs. lHiunvuu went back to her own
room and the wagons rolled away.
Mark hastily built a tire, then sat down
to think how Inst to explnlu the liberty
be bad taken.
The bare room faded from bis vision
as be sal there. In Its place came an
old country garden overgrown with
roses and clematis. It was June and
the air was heavy with the scent of
many blossoms, lty his side was a
beautiful girl In whose curls the sun
shine seemed entangled. He bent low
er and the rose-red lips of bis compan
ion murmured, "I love you. Mark."
Still lower his head sank until his lips
touched the ones that had uttered the
sweet words.
A start, and he sat upright, glancing
around hlui. That was ten years ago.
He was poor then, and Margaret, beau
tiful Margaret Henson, bad been the
only daughter of a wealthy home. So
their engagement had been forbidden.
They parted, vowing eternal constancy.
A year later Margaret became the wife
of Vance Gregory, but It was not until
months after that Murk learned of the
treachery and deceit that bad been em
ployed to urge her to that step.
It was too late then. There was
nothing to do but eudtire.
He had known fur some time that
Margaret was a widow and lived In the
city. He knew nothing of her toverty,
supposing that her means were ample.
To go to her now with a story of love
had never occurred to him. She knew
nothing of whnt had parted them. He
could not blacken the memory of the
man who had been her husband, the
father of her children
He spraug to his feet. There was no
need of an explanation. He passed out,
pausing for a final word with Mrs.
Donovan.
"Tell Mrs. Gregory the things came
from the teachers at Xo. 3."
"To be sure, Mr. Davis," responded
the woman, who had recogulzod Murk.
"I'll tell her all 'lout It. And may the
bllssln's of all the saints rest on your
dear head!"
Mark hurried nway, leaving a shin
ing sliver dollar In Hoyce's hand.
It was only a few minutes after Ida
departure tbat a thinly clad woman
AONKS' STOliV WAS SOOX TOI.t.
came tolling wearily up the stairs. It
was Margaret Gregory. The woman
who owed her was out of town. The
needy mother bad applied at several
places for work, only to meet with re
fusal. Then she had gone to a store
and begged for credit, but In vain.
She had reached the end. There was
but one way open. She would ask Mrs.
Donovan to give ber children their din
ner. When she had rested and con
quered the bitter rebellion In her heart
the would go out again and apply to
tbe city for charity.
ILajrgarst Gregory was proud. She
was already fufnt for the want of food.
et she turned In loathing from tl
thnngbt of a meal obtained In that
way. It would be worse ilmu death,
but death doesn't cotiie at one's call,
and there were her babies.
A dry .n bi:rt from her l!p. fiiie
pawl Mrs. Donovan's door In silence.
She must have a moment to hernelf be
fore she could ak charity of one
po,ir as her kind neighbor. Hurrying
on she pushed owu her uwn door.
A bright tire wa blaming In the
cracked move. Mrs. Donovan had pre
pared potatoes for the oven and cut
silo ready for frying from the ham.
The open door of the wood closet show
ed a huge pile, while the table was
beaiM'd high with food.
For a moment she stood gazing w ild
ly around her. Then she dropped on
her knee ami a shower of tears re
lieved her overwrought nerve.
The next day's mall brought a letter
from Margaret to Mr. Davis. The
writer hud gone to Miss Snell to thank
her. From the young teacher she had
learned of Mark's connection w 1th the
affair.
It was an earnest, grateful letter,
blotted here and there with tear stains.
She accepted Ills generosity; for her
children's sake she could not refuse
charity. She referred to the friendship
hat bad existed between their parents,
but Mark was glad she was too wom
anly a woman to even hint at the rela
tion they had once borne to each other.
When he finished rending the letter his
heart was light, for he understood that
Margaret knew of the treachery that
had blotted the sunshine of his life.
Mark went straight home nnd told
his nuut, who was also his housekeep
er, all altout It. Mrs. Kverts was knit
ting In-fore the open coal lire. She was
a bright-faced old lady, with soft white
hair and a serene face. When he had
finished she laid down her work and
sat for a long time gazing Into the
dancing flames.
"The only daughter of my old friend.
Ilobccca llenson, lu want of food," she
said, a note of pain In l.er voice. "Mark,
you and I both have plenty of money.
SIIK MET HIM rn.NKI.V AMI WITH UN
HISIU ISKK ri.a ASl llK.
there Is room In this bouse, and In our
hearts, for Margaret ami her tables.
Iut she Is proud. Go and ask her to
come and sew for me. Tell her I am
'.onely. nnd ask her to bring her little
ones to brighten me up.
Mark bent to kiss the placid face.
"Thank you. Aunt Lisle, I see you un
derstand." A few hours later be knock
ed at Maragret's door. He saw that
the years had changed her. The wild
rose bloom bad faded from her cheeks,
tears had washed the Joyous light from
ber blue eyes; yet It was surely thai
Margaret that he had loved that stood
before hi in.
She met hi in frankly and with un
disguised pleasure. Her voice trembled
when she undertook to express her
gratitude. Mark made light of the
whole nffalr and Insisted on talking of
heir childhood days. The fruit and
nuts he brought proved an open sesame
to the hearts of Agnes and Uoyee. and
they were soon on the best of terms
with the caller.
Margaret was very grateful for the
offer of work. She hesitated a little
over accepting Mrs. Kverts' kind Invi
tation, fearing lest the children prove
an annoyance. Hut when Mark drew a
touching picture of the loneliness of his
nuut she gladly coii.scntcd to come. It
was arranged that the carriage come
after the Gregorlcs t!.e following after
noon. One morning, two months later, Flor
ence Fox tripped across the hall at Xo.
li and entered Miss Suoll's room.
"Of course you are going to the wed
ding reception Thursday evening." she
ltcgnti. "I think It Is such a lovely
marriage, don't you?"
"Indeed I do replied Lillian, warm
ly. "Yes, I am to go In the afternoon
and help with the decorations. The
whole house Is to be In green and
white, smllax, ferns, roses and carna
tions. Mrs. Kverts says Mr. Davis can
not do too much for his bride; 'our dear
Margaret,' th sweet old lady calls
her."
"And I ltellevc It all came about
from your begging hi in to give her
good weight," Florence cried merrily.
He Is obeying your request In an ex
trnvagnut manner. And, Lillian, Is not
thnt pretty pearl ring and the lcntltlc
expression on Cousin Hugh's face the
result of uiy efforts along the aame Hue
of charitable work?"
The bell rang then, and the blusl.;ig
Lillian was spared the nec(slty of a
reply. Utlca Globe.
Montana Kloquence.
The ltozeiiinn (Muni.) Chronicle trills
of a Molilalia legislator who, w hen
tome corrections In spelling and gram
mar In his bill were called to his atten
tion by the committee, said: "Why you
fellows have mucllated It!" It was the
same statesman who said, In address
ing a committee of which he was a
member: "The mudly slough of poli
tics was the Innvlder tqiou whleb the
law was split In twain and fell In a
thousand pieces from the pedro of Jus
tice. Let us, then, gear up our loins
that we can go forth wltb a clear
head."
In a new bicycle brake a friction disk
Is fastened to the front sprocket wheel,
with the brake shoe attached to a Joint
ed rod mounted on the bottom brace of
tbe bicycle frame, a spring holding the
two rods lu a bent position, so that
pressure on tbe footplate at the Joint
will cause tbetu to strulghten out and
press tbe shoe against the disk.
Tbat man don't live who has out at
one time thought be bal ail tb 1s
uitoU of greatness In him.
HORSESHOERS OF OLDEN TIMES
Autlijuity of the Craft llluatrulrd
In Ancient CUaalc Art.
The early historians made a ad mis
take when they neglected to hand down
to posterity a record of the l:es and
manner of these ancient craftsmen,
fur by I hem we could Ih letter able H
Judge of th Intelligence of the eoile
of that period, us In all agi- the smithy
ha been rtvogulxcd a the center of In
telligence In rural communities. I lm -
no doubt the shoer of ancient tim
was quite .in Important cliap. a hi
work was very essential to tiie preser
vation of limit and life. While we have
lecn depl'Ued of a knowledge of the
shoer himself and his ways, we can
feast our eyes on some of his works, at
least representation of them In art pic-
tun-s. and It Is doubtful If some of
these nrtlsls didn't work their Imag
inations an .' put the shoe then In use
on their subject. Hans Itcrghmau. In
hi "HorM- of Antiquity," represents a
plumed knight on horchaek. The
horse had nil sol heel on hi shisn,
which were fastened on by nails, ap
parently, three on each side (painted
in H":ti. He has another showing a
groom leading two horses that are ap
parently shod with tint, thick heeled
hois.
There Is another picture by AllM'rt
Durer (ltTli which show a kulght on
horseback, w hose horse Is shod with a
Hat shoe bating a wide web at the toe,
much like the tin' weight of the present
day. lie also has another good picture
of a heavy draft horse that is shod with
heel calks il.'idM.
Another German painter, aNuit that
t'uic, I. ilea. t Granach (l-lTJl has a horse
and jilumed knight, the home having
heel calk and nails.
The Knglish lu the sixteenth century
represent a horse figure called the
"Tournament Hull," that Is shod with
a shoe that look like the Dunning steel
shoe, or tbe Goodeiioiigh of the present
day. having tine, small calks on the
side, or they might be extra large null
heads.
The Italian masters show the toe
weight shoe In the fifteenth century.
They have a picture taken from a fres
co painting lu the Campo Santa de
I'lsa. The horseman I one of the fol
lowers of Pilate, nud the artist repre
sents hi in as one of the cortege of
Christ bearing his crows toward Gol
gotha. Ills horse has heel calks and
the shoe nailed on. The French have
a picture of a knight on horsctack. shod
with Hat shoes lu the twelfth century.
He carries a Mult cm' banner, and It Is
lu the cathedral of Chart us.
A study of these pictures surprises us
and somewhat lessen the self etccni
we may have Indulged In at our pro
grcKsivciicss, for. after all, many of our
rupHised new Ideas are only resurrec
tions. Kvc.i the felt shoe Is as obi as
the hills, as note this little bit of an
cient gossip:
lu Lord Herbert's "Life of Henry
VIII." It Is slated that that monarch
white in France, having feasted the la
dles royally for divers days, departed
from Tourney to Lisle, Oct. l.'l, l.'il.'l,
wbl tier he was Invited by the Lady
Margaret, who caused them a Joust or
tournament to bo held In an extraordi
nary matiiNr, the place being a large
room raised high from the ground by
many steps and paved by black square
stoni like marble, while the horses, to
prevent slipping, were shod with felt,
nfter which the ladles danced all night.
A shoe of the seventeenth century
was found with a fullered margin, or,
a we say. creased, and calks, with the
letters II. I. stamped on It, evidently
the Initials of the maker.
There Is n complete treatise on shoe
ing by Caesar Flnschl, written In the
seventeenth century. Along alxnit lillil
nnd later there must have leen quite a
fad In fancy shoeing, and silver cheap
er thnu It Is to-day, as we find It whs
used for horseshoes. When a certain
Lord Doncr.ster, an Knglish ambassa
dor, entered I'arlS bis horse was shod
with silver shoos, and when he enme
to a place where beauties of cmlncmi'
were stntloiMd the cavorting of the
charger would make him cast a shoe,
which the greedy bystanders sera in
Med for, while a liveried farrier came
and tacked on another one, and thus
with much ado be reached the Louvre.
In the eighteenth century the craft
gained In prestige and honors, having
taken up the art of doctoring. There
can le no doubt their methods In this
respect were crude and barbarous, but
they hnd a better excuse for such treat
ment than some of those that continue
their methods to the present day. Many
farriers held places of honor, nud some
were Just as conceited as many of our
youngsters to-day. Many maids could
echo the fair Fort la's sentiment when
she said of ber lover that he den's noth
ing btij talk continually of his horse,
and Inyeth great appropriation to his
own good parts, that he can shoe him
himself. Horseshoer's Journal.
Political I'eellng In Austria.
The bitter fooling between the two
races who comprise the Kmperor Franx
Jos"ph's subjects lluds expression not
only lu tbe Austro -Hungarian parlia
ment. An Englishman recently sent
tbe following account of an experience
lu Fragile to the Westminster Gazette:
"A day or two ago I entered a Czech
cafe, in a little frequented part of
Prague, and chanced to forget to take
off my hat Imnicsllaiely on entering, a
custom which prevails almost every
where In German -speaking countries.
This was apparently taken as an Insult
by the jsNipIe In the cafe, and fo my
surprise, I was greeted by a veritable
storm of shouts and hisses. For a few
moments, having no knowledge of tho
Czech language, I did not realize my of
fense, but seeing that they had mis
taken me for a German, and fearing
that they might really attack me, as
several Germans have lx-en attacked
and maltreated lately, I called out In
German, 'I urn Knglish.' The effect of
the announcement was Instantaneous,
nnd the tumult linmisllately subshbsl.
Hut later on, I qw-stloiiod the waiter,
who told me that 'pig' and dog' were
among the polite epithets the Czechs
had shouted at me when they mistook
my nationality."
Why Tliejr Have Disappeared.
Thirty years ago the vast plains of
the West were bluck from horizon to
horizon with buffalo. Col. Henry In
man says. In hi Interesting Isxik, "The
Old Santa Fe Trail," that In tbe au
tumn of lW be rode, for three con
secutive days, through one continuous
l.crd of buffalo, which must bare con
tained million. In lK) a train on th
Kansas Pncltle liallroad nan delayed
from l a. in. until .1 p. in.. In conse
quence of the passage of an Immense
herd of buffalo m ros the track. X '
the buffalo I almost extinct. Col. In
dian' explanation of the disappearance
of the shaggy monster I, abridged,
as follow :
From Invs to ISM. a periinl of only
thirteen years, they were slailglllered
for their hides and Imiiics. llctwecii
those dates, the ciii'Inui works of St.
Louis nnd other cities lltlll.ed the skel
otoii of over thirty niie millions of buf
falo. In Kansas alone the agent of
these coiiipnulc paid out for buffalo
bones, gathered on the prairies, ten
million the hundred thousand dollars.
It lsulred one biiudrisl carcasses to
make one ton of bones, ami lhe price
paid averaged $s a ton.
The completion of the I'nlou PaclnV
llallroail ami It branch lu Kansas was
the occasion of the licginullig of the
wholesale slahghtcr of the buffalo.
Hunters entered (lie regions to which
the railroads gave them access, and
killed the animals for their hides.
Crow d of tourists, w hile crossing the
continent, killed the buffalo from the
cars.
lu those days, the most conspicuous
object along the tracks of the rail
road were the dried carcasses of buffa
lo, slaughtered by passengers, who
never sought the tongue or the hide of
tbe animal they killed.
The hide hunters slaughtered so wan
tonly that. In some place on the open
prairie, one could walk for hours on lhe
dead bodies of the buffaloes, without
stepping off them to the ground.
Providence move lu a mysterious
way. The India nof the prairies de
pended oil the buffalo for food and
tents and robes. The removal of the
buffalo means that the Indian must
live In frame bouses, till the ground,
and dress In cloth.
Sang at the Wronj Time.
"I cannot sing, unfortunately," said
n Chicago minister In speaking to n
Times Herald reporter of his early pul
pit experiences, "ami so whenever I
conducted revival service I Used to
take along a friend of mine named Vin
cent, a great, strapping fellow with a
voice like t'.e north w ind. He never had
had any musical training, but Oh, lie
could slug. Whenever be sailed Into
a hymn the cornfields would turn their
enr toward the church.
"Iu those days hymn Isioks were
scarce, and It was customary for the
minister to rend two Hues of some fami
liar hymn and the congregation would
then sing them, the tune Itclng gen
erally known, tin one occasion I read
two llin-s of n long meter hymn and
Vincent bsl the singing magnificently.
Then 1 picked up the llible and read
my text: 'Is there no balm In Gllead?
Is uo physician there?' 1 laid down
the IxMtk; but before I could begin
preaching Vincent's voice arose, loud
and clear, and the congregation follow
ed li I in In singing the text.
"Too much surprised to collect my
scattered senses. I leaned over the pul
pit and in a stage whisper said to
Vincent: 'The words I gave you were
the text and not a hymn at all.' Tills
time Vincent bad a monopoly of the
singing, for the congregation had not
caught the words; but he never slop
ped or wavered until he had sung every
word of my confidential remark to hlui.
"I sank Into my sent. For the next
five minutes I didn't dare open my
mouth for fear Vincent would sing me
down. I paid him off thnt night after
tho services."
1 lie Instalment Plan.
Sometimes, without doubt, American
and Itritlsh Judges, who are held to a
close accountability to the letter of n
law which may have In It no Justice for
n particular case, may well sigh for
the latitude of an Oriental cadi. Some
times, moreover, they may rightfully
bend the administration of the law In
the direction of absolute Justice.
An Knglish paper, for Instance, re
cords a peculiar decision In the suit of
a usurer against n poor woman. The
man bad lent the woman money In
Hindi a way that It was to Ik paid In
Instalments and wit It monthly usurious
Interest. The woman wiih unable to
pay the amount due.
The Judge satisfied himself that tbe
woman was honest and honorable, and
thnt what she had already paid In In
stalment would cover the original loan
nnd a resectable Interest.
"Will you accept X.'t In dlschnrge?"
asked tbe Judge of the plaintiff; "you
will then have had 10 per cent, on the
loan."
The plaintiff would accept nothing
less than the full amount to which the
law entitled him.
"Then," said the Judge, "although I
cannot Invalidate the agreement, I can
make an order which, I think, will tit
the case. I give Judgment for I lie full
amount, to be paid at the rate of six
pence a month."
This was the "Instalment system"
with a vengeance, for at this rate of
payment tho usurer would be seventy
five years In getting his money.
Not Ills Province.
The Xew Knglnnd ministers of early
days were expected to preserve an as
pect grave to tho verge of solemnity on
all occasions, not only on Sundays but
week-days lis well. If they possessed a
sense of humor It sometimes made It
self evident even In the midst of devo
tional exercises.
One Xew Hampshire parish was
guarded and guided by a quaint-spcaK-Ing
elderly man, who had a slight lisp.
He was fond of outdoor work of almost
every sort and was an able farmer as
well as preacher; but all domestic mai
lers he relegated to his wife.
Oue day the old traveling baker see
ing the minister at work III the field,
drew rein, nud wheu the Jingling of his
horse's bell had subsided, he calhd
out: "Any crackers wanted today,
parson i
.... t
The minister raised his head, and sur
veyed the baker from under his shaggy
eyebrows. Xo smile of greeting crossed
bis solemn face.
"Abraham 'n the field," he rescinded,
gravely, "Tharah (Snrahl In the tent;"
and without another word he resumed
bis booing, and left the baker to digest
his Hlbllcal reproof and drive' on to the
house to find out If "Sarah would buy
any of bis wares. Youth's Companion.
Tbe wife may congratulate herself on
having made a good match If ber bus
band never goes cU ulgbt.
OUIt BUDGET OP FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO
INGS HERE AND THERE.
Jokrs sod Johelrta that Are Pnppo!
to llavt Hrrn Krerntlj Bora Ptayliius
sail Doluga tbat ArOill,Crlima auj
Laugaabl-Tu Week's Humeri
Her Clio of llllaa Wa Full.
Sue-. Nell, If you were a mini what
would you do?
Xell (who ha worn an engagement
ring for three day)-Why, I'd want to
be a girl again.
Hlie lltiil No I'ronfa.
Mr. Slowboy -Did you know that I
wa a member of the Pre Club?
Ml Willing - Certainly not. How
was I to know?
X. It -Miss Willing told ber chum
next day that Slow Imy had a perfecting
press for printing klcM.
Fond of Art.
Dear Mother-I have tried my band
at art and am taking a number of pic
ture. Yours, T. A. Ke'in. Clnclunall
Knqulrer.
At the Wroiw llrak.
Caber (lu newspaper olllce) Hello,
old man! Anything new to-day?
Paragrapher- Well, I'm surprised.
And you an old newspaper man, too!
Caller W hy, what do you menu?
Paragrnplier-The Idea of any limn
possessing ordinary Intelligence tim
ing Into the humorous department nnd
asking If there I anything new.
lie Th uitht It Proper.
"I hope you do not consider It wrong
for a young lady to wear tine clothes,
necklaces, rings and things of that
sort," said Miss Giddy to the young
minister.
"Certainly not," replied the youthful
parson, "w hen the heart Is full of vain
ami ridiculous notions there Is nothing
objectionable In banging out the sign."
(let tin ut the Fact.
Dlxon-1 understand that you said I
didn't know as much as your yellow
dog.
Illxon- I never said anything of the
kind.
Dixon-Then what did you say?
IIIon-l said my yellow dog knew
more than you did.
laiiuil to I. cup Viar,
"Do you know, Miss Willing," said
young WimhIIh. the other evening, "that
your face reminds me uf a perfect mir
ror?" "Does It? she asked; "and why so.
pray ?"
"llccaiise." be replied, "It reflects
nothing but the truth."
"Oh!" she exclaimed III a tone of ills
appointment, "I thought It was for a
belter reason than that."
"What did you expect me to say?'! bo
asked.
"1 thought," continued the blushing
maid, "that It was because every tlmu
you looked lu my face you saw your
own."
The engagement bns been announced
With Ills Last llrrsth.
"Have you anything to say?" asked
the sheriff, as he strapped tho murderer
In the electric chair.
"I Just want to point out what fools
those people were who said I was Itorn
to lie hanged," replied the criminal,
with a smile of triumph. -Philadelphia
North American.
A Hire Henietlr.
Clare I wish I could get something
that would prevent my Hps from chap
ping. Maude Why don't you try entlng
onions?
Clare Is that a good remedy?
Maude Yes; It keeps the chaps away.
1 Acknowledging th Corn."
$3a
Detroit Freo Press.
Anil' us to Meet Hint.
Roftlelgh You must excuse me, Miss
Cutting, I'm not quite myself to-night.
Miss Cnttlng-llow delightful how
delightful; Introduce me to the other
fellow, will you?
PiiBBratlng a Heniedv.
Mrs. Jnggs-I'm at a loss to know
what to do for my husband; he suffers
utmost continually from headaches.
Mrs. Xaggs-Why don't you try to
persuade him fo resign?
Mrs. Jaggs lieslgn from whnt?
Mrs. Xuggs Why, from the club, of
course.
Just a War They Have.
lie (of Xew Y'ork) And wns your
father's cashier short lu his accounts?
She (of Itoston) Yes; I understand
bis financial computations were some
what abbreviated.
As flthera See La.
Mrs. Teller 1 spent the afternoon
with our new neighbor and I don't
think very much of her.
Mr. Teller Why not, my dear?
Mrs. Teller She takes too much de
light In listening to scandal; I uever
saw her equal.
Two of a Kind.
Ik' Why does a woman wear an
other woman's bulr on ber bead?
She Why docs a man wear another
culfs uLIu ou bis feet?
Wffat He Heqnlred.
Customer Have you an artistic ci
gar? Dealer What do you mean?
Customer Why, one tbat drawa well.
A Pole ma Sahjeet.
The Widow I wonder why crape I
the emblem of sorrow?
The Hachelor Probably because
three feet of It make a grave yard.
Two Points nf View,
Dlggs-Senator Poser seems to be fc
inn li of very broad view.
Hlggs-Yes, Indeed; I don't believe It
I possible to bring up a question that
be can't straddle.
Acrnrdliitf to lllnaley.
"Y'oil will have to pay extra for this,"
said the custom otllcer to tho return
ing tourist.
"Why must I pay extra?" asked tbe
traveler.
"Heeiiuse It's your duty," replied the
bean leas official.
Wlae ami titherwlae.
l he w ise man bin umbrella takes
When he mart mil for a roam;
lint othe rs who take chalice oft
ltring aniiie other fellow's hump,
Aasurunce nf fence.
Teachcr-I have Urn talking to you
of ieni-e. I suppose you all kuew tbe
meaning of the word?
Johnnie- I do. sir.
Tcncher-What I It, Johnnie?
Johnnie It's what we have at our
house w lieu pa goes off on one of his
trips.-Klchiuoiid Dispatch.
llnalncsa,
Itookkeeper This man has always
paid cash and now wants to ohu an
account. Shall I accommodate him?
Manager- Certainly not.
ltookkccMT--And thl man has bad
an account and now pays cash.
Manager Never ttust him again.
Ilrooklyn Life.
Hail Not bed It.
She (gushingly! There are daya
w hen we seem more In unison with na
ture than other times, w hen our hearts
seem to beat III accord with the sub
lime harmony of the universe. Have
you ever noticed It?
lie-Indeed I have. It It always that
way wltb me on pay day. Tit lilts.
Time Works Wonders.
Doctor After a careful examination
I fall to find any symptoms of Insanity
lu the lady.
Softini Well, I want you to be posi
tive about It; she Is my wife.
Doctor-How long have you been
married?
Softun Three years.
Doctor I cau readily understand that
she must have liecn crazy at that time,
but I can nssure you that she uo longer
labor under any of ber former delu
sions. Just Wfattt He Wanted.
Itev. Seldom Stlrsem Ob, my friend,
to see your plight makes me too full for
nttci anccl
Sooner Soaktim Wilsli I could git
full. iHiduer, by Jus' scclu' plight.
Chicago Inter Ocean.
An Kiplaimtlon.
"Look!" exclaimed a lady to her com
piiulon at tho opera. "There Is Mrs.
Oldlne lu that box. Her bulr Is Jet
black and I'm jiosltlve It was streaked
with gray the lust time I saw ber."
"Very true, dear," replied tho other,
"but you know ber only brother died
three mouths ago."
"Indeed! Hut what has that got to
do wltb the color of ber hair?"
"Why, don't you understand? She's
In mourning."
Not What lis Heqnlred.
Customer Have you anything that's
good for a cough?
Druggist-Yes. I have a delightful
cough mixture that I can recommend.
Customer Won't do. Mine la uot a
delightful cough.
The Kvltlence at Hand.
Giles It Is said that the scanty gar
meats woru by tho barbarous rocis ac
count for the unusual longevity among
them.
Smiles I don't doubt It. Just look
at the great ago attained by our bullet
girls.
Two Ways of Impressing It.
"Oh, don't worry about such trifles,"
said tho Xew York girl. "Jmjt keep a
stiff upper lip aud you'll come out all
right."
"Hut," replied ber Iloston cousin, "It
Is a physical Impossibility for me to
uialululu a superior labial rigidity."
lleartleaa Wretch.
Mrs. Ferry That husband of Jenny
McCluecer's Is the most heartless
wretch I ever heard of.
Mr. Ferry Heally, my dear, you seem
Indignant.
"Who wouldn't be Indignant on hear
ing of a man who was trying to train
bis baby to cry every morning at 0
o'clock, so that Ha father won't over
sleep himself T' Cincinnati Knqulrer.
Descent from a llalloon by Illoycle
A phnrachutlst, known as "Profes
sor" Anthony, bns accomplished a sen
sational descent at Luton by dropping
from a height of 3.IHH) feet while "ped
aling" n bicycle. This Is said to be
the first Introduction of tho bicycle In
to this hazardous kind of exhibition.
Slgnor lSnlleiil, of the Crystal Palace,
took the 'balloon up wltb the "profes
sor" dangling Is-low tho car, and when
an elevatlou of 3,000 feet had been
reuched, be gave the signal to drop.
The parachute opened by an apparatus
worked by "pedaling" the bicycle, and
tho "professor" afterward stated tbat
he dropped fifty feet before It opened
properly. During that time be bad to
"pedal" bnrd. Tbe desccut was very
slow on account of tho parachute being
rather too large, and the parachutist
was carried by tbe wind to some farms
near Cnddlugton, from which place be
rode back to Luton. Pall Mall Gazette,
Assured I'oaltlon.
"Squills must consider himself thor
oughly established as a doctor now,"
"Wbrr
"He has quit wearing a silk bat and
baa nothing but a name-plate on but
door."-Clevland Plain Dealer.
fa- $