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About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 25, 1897)
i .! i TOriCS OF TIIE TIMES. A CHOICE SELECTION OF INTER ESTINQ ITEMS. Comment and Crltlclsme Based Upon iha Uappeaiasa oi I ha Day Hle torlcal aad Nwi Note. There li a charming elasticity about girl of eighteen springs. Hiding a tandem may be as good a a piny, but If the girl does bare a front eat she doesn't wear a big bat A Brooklyn Judge granted Are di vorces within, thirty minute the other day. Wonder what delayed blui. successful and convenabla marriage. The real fact of the matter la the or dinary modern Englishman haa no uo alre to disturb bla bachelor estate. If he baa no title, no speclul wealth, no great historic name to baud down 10 poateiity, tingle blessedness la good enough for him. Thin atuto of mind In attributed by many to the growing In dependence of women. Possibly this la true, probably It la not. Mercenary Hplrlta boldly assert that marriages In Ktiglnnd will, on the whole, never be successful until women bring dot to their husbands, lm-e gold lin-plres re spect If not love. Marriage on a strict ly bualneM baala In evidently the future for all Englishwomen to look for ward to. Still, to see Indications of a political ring eveu In the center used for mark ing on the ballot; la carrying pessimism too far. Even as a monarch the only conces sion posNlble to the Emperor William when he talks through bla bat la to use the crown. ' There Is no time when the better rlnHKes of citizens should fall to take Intercut In election, apart from those who lay wagers on results. Let no man scoff at a young couple occupying both sides of a front fence In the twilight Not only a gate but a wedding may hinge upon It Mow ruling passions do show them selves. When bicyclists can't go out, It's said they spend their time running over accounts of century runs and such Matters. . . , Bismarck doesn't like the Monroe doctrine either, but as a law It's still got to stand except when this country lays It down for the benefit of foreign nnt Ions. Harry A. Ml 11 In, writing In tho Chnrl tlea Review on tramp legislation throughout the United Btatee, thus sums up bla statements: 1. With the exception of twelve Southern nud West ern States, all the States have settle ment laws. Willie a resldeuce for a given time Is usually sufficient In some of the Northern and Eastern States, a qualification of sclf-malnteuuuceor oth er property qualification is found. 2. A number of tho Eastern and Northern States check Immigration of pauinrs Into the Mtate, while a still greater num ber discourage such Immigration Into the county or town. 3. As a rule pnu pers without a settlement In the Btute nre gotten rid of In the easiest way, There are, however, some striking ex ceptions to this. 4. Tramps are usual ly, but not universally, treated as crim inals and confined In some penal Insti tution, hard lalior sometimes being re-' quired. 0. This punishment Is most severe lu the East and gradually be- tomes less severe as we move West and South. r he moun"7aTn"a.d. ouk budget op fun. I'B a rr ui it rr a ir B3 m THE RAM. issHassESfflasssEssesfflSEEisffl mm Sword duels niKMi bicycles are the latest diversion In Prance, But fencing dot s not trouble our American wheel men, except when !t puts Itself In kkI- lion to be run Into. Edward llellamy has kindly arrang ed n plan for all of us by which every man Is to draw $4,000 a year and retire on a pension at 45. What's the use of looking further? Let's accept the offer. The Tall Mall Gazette, In speaking of American competition lu Iron and steel, apropos of recent Iron and steel contracts obtained from Japan and re cent sales In England, makes the noteworthy admission that "the causes which are giving the United States such, a favorable position are perma nent, and everything points to the United States remaining the cbcniest stecl-produelng country In the world." NCE I was paus ing through the little town of Greenville, In the Pennsyl v a n I a hemlock belt," said John Gil bert, the travel lug groccryinan "and stopped at tuc tavern there. The only man I saw at tlrst was a Jolly looking, red-faced llttlo old mnn, ou whom care or sorrow teemed to have never laid a finger. " 'Fine day,' I said, getting off my buckboard. " T-tlc'Inr fine an cheerful,' the little old man an Id. 'I hain't see a cheer fuller day In forty years an' better.' "Then be went down the road whistling.- I "-ns gazing after him yet wb.'ii some one said: "'It's a leetle queer that Uncle Abel went away without wnliin' tn ., The attention of Enirland hns natural ly leen drawn to this subject through WuJ-'ther J"ou wa'u't going to buy sum- the long-drawn-out and stubborn light One of the campaign speakers In .cv York Is credited with this delicious bull: "That avalanche that drowned him last year Is returning In the ocean, nud will land him high and dry In the arms of victory." tho engineers are making for an eight hour day, therefore, If they are sue cessful, still further Increasing the cost of production lu England, as tho success of the engineers would soon pin nu nut blm In: but he's feel In overpoiverln' glib to-day, an" mebbe thought nothln' could make him feel any better.' This speaker, as I saw when I turned to look, was a tall and slim and The difference between religious en tlniHliiHii) and sectarian teal finds Its latest llliiKtrntlon In that Western town which Bishop Cranston pictures "a lit tle village of some seven hundred peo ple, with thirteen church : organiza The enpslzlng of a German torpedo boat resnlted lu the death of eight members of Its crew. The question whether most of the modern vessels of war are more dangerous to thoso on board than to the enemy Is yet to bo answered. be followed by strikes In other trades lank.v' ns whittling a stick. He umi come rrom the born, and, as I found, was the landlord. 1 walked In. xes, said the lamer mnn. Tn,.i Abel is feelln overpowcrln' glib tO-tlny You wouldn't take him to be a lnn an lorn wldderer, which the pardner of urn uosoiu was only laid awar x-wt: dr. , now. would vonr "I ha J to admit thut the old gcutle- mnu was a trifle chipper and cheerful for one so recently bereaved. it's, the la milord went on. 'Aiinf Huldy'a left Uncle Abel at Inst. It and workmen's organizations. At pres ent, according to the editor of tho Lon don Iron ami Coal Trades' Review, tho -cost of producing Bessemer pig Iron In this country Is from 10s. to 15s. Mr ton less than In Great Britain, and lu some cases Is from 25 to 85 Mr cent, lower, although the rate of wages In America Is materially higher than In England. As one Instance of cheapened produc tion he mentions thut while Iron works in England have to pay from 15s. to 17s. per ton for their coke It can lie ob- A section hand working for $1.25 a day on a Western rnllroud Is a grad uate of two European universities and a master of eight languages. viiIh goes to show that education without push a vii Met h a man but little. Less educa tion and more grit would bo more ef fective In this case. A woman recently recovered $3,0(10 damages from a cemetery company In New York, for being poisoned with poison Ivy growing In the grounds.' Thus civil law upholds that of tho so slal and Intellectual life, hnt we are responsible not only for the products which we cultivate, but for those which we fall to root out. talued at Pittsburg for one-third that wa ort of an accident like, though. I amount. Under these circumstances, uuu 1 ,,1,UK BUo ever would a-tbought successful competition of English man- 0 uo,u or cnUNe t'nde Abel was nfneturers In steel and Iron with ,our lmu AU"t "ulily bad handled, an' America Is practically Impossible. , "nu wore bombazine fer luu-vuu irin. an u was jest as good as ever, that bluck bombazine was, an' mere aiu i no kind o' doubt that she had n stiff Idee o' wearln' It fer Uncle AM, an' mebbe fer somebody that hail the courage to be No. 5. You see, Undo Abel Is the knriiilessest man that ever ot round", an Aunt Huldy'a disposition t a sot stiiiiplu" like a cross-cut saw, in" when she got to movlu' she was n ripper. How would some fresh tansy sehuiielied In a glass and moistened with about three Angers o' J'muky ruin strike you T i was wining to risk It, and the American women, lovely, graceful nnd altogether winsome, are despite all their concentrated charm sadly lacking lu ouo attribute which enhances the feminine witchery and emphasizes the attractiveness that the weaker sex has for Its stronger opixislte. This attri bute so woefully missing Is repose. The average American woman Is a femin ine fidget, a beautiful bundle of nerves ver ou the qui vlve, restless, Impa tient, .wearisome. A Kansas editor calls a halt lu the matter of hygleulc and sanitary wor ries and scares. . Ho holds that people are driven to denth by taking too much careful care of their health, and using so many nostrums. "Give us a rent," quoth he. "Keep your body clean nnd comfortable, eat a moderate supply of wholesome food, occupy yourself with cheerful work, and forget all about your health." Hallways In Malay, United States Consul General Pratt writes from Singapore As the result of a movement lnnug lira ted by the cntcrprislnr; Resident General of the federated Malay atntes, Sir Frank Athelstime Swelteiihain, the Secretary of Slate for the . olonles, ro cently approved a loan of S.",(M0,000 (Mexican) for tho building of new Hues of railway lu the Malay Peninsula, to be constructed In sections, ns follows: First, from Kuala Pin I to 11 u Xa' Pe tting, 50 miles, from whence there is a line a I ready In existence to Tnlpeng; Uuky but garrulous landlord scrunch seconti, isipcng io ivuuia lvangsne, o u ," uy ou moistened It per miles; third, Tnnnli road to Tanlonir recipe. Mnllin. 00 miles; fourth, Tan Jong Ma- les, sir, u went on. hnvlnu 1 1 tn to Kuala Kubu, ltl miles; fifth, Ka- (crunched and moistened for himself Jang to Sermubini, 31 miles. When olwo mlA taken pay for both. 'Auut completed these lines will give through Huldy wns a ripper when she got to communication from Kuala Prat, dl- niovlu', and the trouble was she was rcctly opposite IYiiang, to Port Dickson, niovlu most o' the time. I've knowed a total distance of from 315 to .TJU Uncle A lie I to roost In an apple tree on miles, without counting the lines from clearln all night, waltlu' for Aunt Tailing to Port Weld, 8 miles; Tiipuh "uidy to quiet down, an" I've heerd rond to Telok Alison, 17 miles, and im say, more n wunst. that It wn ivuaia i.uinpur to ivuuia Kiaug, 'J Kuuu uniig ne a been kicked In th m les. milk lig a total of some 370 miles uenu by a mule wunst and of railway, which It Is expected to have or I''d be nfenred o' the couseqeuces in operntlou Here witiun tho next live " -auiii uuiuy got to movlu'. years. W oik lias already lM'gun on sec- "'Aunt Huldy she wns tremendous Hon 'J. and Is shortly to begin on sec tions 1, 3 and 4. It Is not yet deter mined how the loan referred to Is to lie negotiated, but It Is considered proba ble that a portion of It will Ih sub scribed for on the sMt. The present undertaking, which Is, In my opinion, but the beginning of a ge-eral exten ot ng'ln Uncle Abel gou' ashln'. no Uucle Abel he'd ruther go flshln' than to the circus. Ijtst week he couldn't hold out uo longer, and he went over to uen uunnels' pond to troll for pick er i. i ne iaci is, inotigii, that the pond ain't Iteu Runnels, 'cause there alu't no setch person as Hen Runnels, uor sum of the Malayan railway system, hain't ben this twenty year an' better, inigui, i iiiiiiK, ne iiirucn to tne advunt- an wuen mere was a lien Runnels he The last day Posthumous fa rue, or notoriety, some times depends more upon an Incident than upon a life-work. A public man of good ability, upright, respected by all nnd beloved by his friends, a hold er of high official positions and a faith ful officer lu each of them, was recent ly called from this life. In the news paper accounts or ins cieatn lie was universally designated as the man who, lu a moment of Impatience, kick ed his way through a closed door In the hall of the national Houso of Repre sentatives. . age of steel rail manufacturers and car nnd locomotlvo builders In the United States, and It Is with this object thut I am now seeking for fuller Information to submit on the subject." The great Increase lu the number of suicides throughout the country justi fies to some extent the sneer of older civilizations that we are' a nation of emotionalists rather than of reasoners. It used to be said that a German's idea of revenge was to kill himself rather than to ktll bla enemy. We have ad vanced even from that Idea. We kill ourselves to spite fate. Any misfor tune, from the loss of wealth to a cold tn the head, Is deemed Justification for self-murder. Thero may be some cli mate Influence which Is portly respon sible for the epidemic, but whatever the cause the results are itnrtllngly apparent. Let us hope that we are not degenerating Into that morbid condi tion which, during the second empire Iw France, Inspired the sending out of In I rat Ions to bnnquets to be followed by fh suicide of all the guests. dldu t own the pond, there ever was a Ben Runnels ho went itsiun ou Hint pond. If the flshln' hndu't bou so uncommon good that day beu mowt be with us ylt. Ben hail uair a pint o- tish worms with him in in old tomnttus can. an' hnlf a gallon o" worm o' the still In a Jug. This was for cxhllnratln' purposes. Ren allnx exhilarated arter ketchln' a fish, but me nsn on so fast that day that they Hep uen busier than usual exhllor- atiii', so that when folks went to see wnat was the reason Ben didn't git home that day, mi' fouud the boat up ot an' lien an' the Jug floatlu' In the pond, there was less than two little Jiggers of exhilaration left In the Jug, Bolence on flraina. The following extract Is from Ilnve lock Ellis' book, "Mnn and Woman:" "Again, until quite recent times It has over and over again been emphat ically stated by brain anatomists that the frontal region Is relatively larger In men, the parietal In women. This con clusion Is now beginning to lie regard ed as the reverse of tho truth, but we have to recognize that It was Inevita ble. It was firmly believed that the frontal region Is the sent of all tho ! but there was more than Ave gnllen o' highest and most abstract Intellccual water In Ben. It wasn't drowndln' that processes, and u on examining a dozen killed Uen, some folks thought. They or two brains an anatomist found him- 'd It was the sudden washln' of all self landed In the conclusion that the exhilaration outen him by so much frontal region Is relatively Inrger In j water glttln' Inter him that done It, women the probability Is that ho would B'" not beln' used to setch overpower feel that he had reached a conclusion ' disappointment. An' that's the way that was absurd. It may, Indeed, be ' Uen got the title to that pond, an' It's said, that It Is only since It has beoomo , beu called Ben Runnels' pond ever known that the frontal region of the it'nee. brain Is of greater relative extent In I 'V'Well. there's where Uncle Abel the ape than. It Is tn mnn and hns no went flshln', spite o' Aunt Huldy'a special connection with the higher In- J wnruln s, an" when he got back I don't tellectuol processes that It has become I'pose thnt Aunt Huldy ever moved so possible to recognize tho fact thnt that rlppln' lu her life. All that Uncle Abel region Is relatively more extensive Id , has ever said about It Is that she lest watted him over, an' then sot on him till she peeled what Uucle Abel says women.' tfitirlinftrwo now. It Is said, are ctnu f liur fit French In the absolute dls- 'ticlliiHtio'v tft marry. Wb.m they do decide ttvralc this Important step they inv fnn,niMtfI? Insist tioii that ut which is pai r of it I'rencU Ideas of a J Jmt No. Young Dude (to tailor) la there any thing aew !n trot'"? Tailor (facetiously) oh, yes; the new woman. Judge. Some men are Indifferent as to what others think of them; but what the ay of tliem 'm another matter. uttt a ben more n a bushel o' taters. t Aunt Huldy weighed In the vicinity o , 200 pound, an' every time Uncle Abel wiggled shed scrunch down on him. Au' spenklu' o' scrunchlu', there's a lot more tanzy; shell I "I Interrupted tho landlord to say that I dldu't care for any more, and he eeiued ao much disappointed and re mained silent so long that I began to think that I wasn't going to bear the end of bis story, but by and by ha started In again. " 'Yes, sir, she scrunched down on blm hard, Aunt Huldy did. She scrunched down so fur arter awhile that Uncle Abel saya be got his eyes ou the shluln' shore, an' was hopln' that Aunt Huldy would give blm an other twist so'a he could get his feet on It; but she wan't through with blm ylt, an' didn't let him pass over. There's where Aunt Huldy made her mistake. She ought to scrunched Uncle Abel all the way over, an' then she could a took out that black bombazine g'ln an' hooked It on fer her fourth, an' ben a-lookln' out fer her fifth now. But she didn't do It, au' there's where she made her mistake. "This here last lively movlu' of Aunt Huldy'a must a klud o' sot. Uncle Abel to thliiklu. Joe Be van, up yon der apiece, bad an ol' churnln' ram that somehow or other wns dead sot agin women folks, au' none of 'em cared to go nigh htm, 'cause he'd pitch at 'em, an' Joe kep' the ugly ol' chap tied up. But the rain wns mild enough to men folks. T'other day AQut Huldy says that It beat all bow It was that she couldn't have a piece o' rope to make a pull-to for the gate, and that If she had a man worth a pinch o' salt that she'd a bad the rope long 'fore that. This was the fust that Undo Abel knowed that Aunt Huldy wanted a piece o' rojie, an' that very day he was golu' by Joo l!e van's place, an' he see a piece o' rope at the side o' the road, lu picket! It up and went borne with It Wrapplu' It round a post, he went In the bouse. "'"Hully," says he, "I've brung home a piece o' rope." "'"You have, bayT Aunt Huldy snapped out. "It's a good thing, an' It'll come In bandy fer you to hang yourself with!" " 'So Aunt Huldy goes to see the rope. "'"Ding your plctur!" she hollers back to Uncle Abel. "An' you've got that runtankerous ram o' Joe Be van's tied to the end of It too!" Why, so he Is!" says Uncle Abel. "'Aunt Huldy grabbed the ax and looted ou the ram. The ram seen Aunt Huldy comin', an' went to meet her. He met her so suddlut thnt she curled up like a ship-knee, kicked a little, an' never got up from where she landed. Uncle Abel says that Aunt Huldy pass ed away a good deal peacefuler than he thought It was lu her natur" to, an' he's a loue, lorn wldderer, an' has the bombazine dress to sell. I wish he'd a staid here awhile. Then I'd- a had some one to Jlue me In a scrunch. If you don't kocr to Jlne, you mowt leave oue for Uncle Abel.' "I paid for a scrunch' for Uncle Abel to enjoy when be came In, and drove on my way, nnd who should 1 meet but Uncle Abel ngalu. " Hullo!' he shouted, nnd I stopped. "'He told ye 'bout mo an' Aunt Huldy, an' the rantnnkerous ram, o' course?' said Undo Abel, grinning. " 'Yes,' I said. "'He's been licked like tnrnntlon three times lu less'n a year fer telllu' that,' said Uncle Abel, 'but seems like he can't 1ielp It. He didn't mean no hnrin by It. He'll tell It to you ng'ln If you come along this way to-morrow. I wa'n't never married In my life, nn' there alu't uo Aunt Huldy, nor no mm, nor never was!' "I couldn't help but grin with Uncle Abel, nnd said: " 'Well' I paid for a rum and tansy up there for you, anyhow.' '"Course you did!' said Uncle Abel. That's part of It. I hain't took a drink In more'n forty year! Think you'll (to back an' lick him? He'll sort o' 'spect It.' nut I said I'd let It go. and drove on, leaving Uncle Abel In the rond grin ning after me." New York Suu. Ph. Had a Natural Anzloty sad tb. Bought to Allay It. , As my horse, puffing like a porpoise, drew me and my buckboard up the last sharp acclivity of the mountain road that led out into the pass between the summits rising on either hand. Im would have exercised bis privilege and Rtoppetl a moment o blow, but a hun dred yards ahead of us I saw a bright bit of calico gleamlnir In the moriilug sun, and driving ou I came up to n buxom mountain maid silting on a stump nt a point where a footpath, leudlug up from the valley, met tho main road, says a traveler. "Good morning." she said, before I had a chance to stop, and there seemed to lie an anxious tone In tho voice. "Good morning," I responded, and I was ou the olnt of asking her bow far it was to the next place, a lavoru manner of starting a conversation on mountain roods, when she broke In. "Air you a prencherr she asked. "No," I answered, with a smile, for I had never been asked that question bo fore. "Nor a 'squire r ' I'' ! "No." "Well, Jim Martln'a comln along this way purty soon now an' I wuz Jls' axlu' so's thar wouldn't be no mistakes." "I don't quite understand your ex planation," I said, completely In the dark as to what she was tryluf to get at ' "I reckon not, but I ain't takln' no chances, an' I thought I'd better stop you while I had the chance." "Thank you, I'm sure, but If you will tell me what'a up I may be able to know what you are talking about." She laughed good-naturedly. "Well, you see It's this away," she said. "Jim, he's been, a-courtlu' an' a-sparkln' 'round me fer Bbout two ye'r now, an' last night he popped an' says ez how ef I'd be here this mornlu' es he come along we'd go down to Logvllle an' git bitched, an' Jim's mighty on reliable an' llke'a not ef we got thar an' the preacher ner the 'squire waru't thar, I'd never git Jim In the mind ag'ln, so I kinder thought mebbe you might lie the 'squire er the preacher an' I didn't want yer to git away. Ef you meet Jim anywheres dtfwn the road don't tell til tu you seen me, fer I don't want blm skeert" HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO INGS HERE AND THERE. his poetry In, with Transcript Yokes aad JokaleU that Are Bappoaad to Has Been Reoantly Bora-ttaylngs aad Dolns that Ara Odd, Curlotie and Laughable-Tits Wecfc'a Humor. For Lnck. "Hello, Brown. How did you get your face scarred so?" -' "Got run over by a truck." 'Didn't you see It coining fC "No. I was looking over thy shoulder at the new moon for luck." Indianapo lis Journal. fit tat, it The Or,w.. . " ,nl? W- I, handed back flv.nlu '?' A Lovely Dream. J.J1 P- . Dlt Kindly visitor Frayed Frawley Gee, but I hud er beautiful dream las' night! . Fatigued Faversbam Wot wus It? Frayed Frawley I dreamt dat er bunch of heiresses wua chasln' me. Sun Francisco Chronicle. ITEMS FROM INDIA. In India the Jackal Is more dreaded than the tiger. Cotton cloth was first made In Indl.i and was In use there over 2,000 years ago. The native Inhabitants of India spend only about ten cents per annum on clothes. About 280,000,000 letters, newspa pers, parcels, and packets pass through the Iudlan postoffice every year. There is a sect In Orlssa, In the Ben gal presidency, the members of which worship Queen Victoria as their chief divinity. One of the greatest living authorities on Indian statistics calculates that from 30,000,000 to 40,000,000 of tho peo ple of India scarcely ever lose the sen sation of hunger; In fact, they do not know the feeling of a full stomach, ex cept In the mango season. Millions of men In India especially on the richer soils and In the river del taslive, marry, and rear apparently healthy children upon an Income which, even when the wife works. rarely above two shillings a week, and frequently sinks. to eighteen pence. The explanation of the queeu'a ap parently Inexhaustible supply of In dian shawls, one of which Is her rt-gu- Inr wedding present, Is that early In her reign one of the Indian princes, In consideration of his having a larje and valuable territory ceded to him, bound himself to pay annual tribute, which Included a number of the finest Cash mere shawls. The Hindoo nose-ring seems likely to disappear with many native customs. Some of the most prominent Hindoos lu Bombay have decided that hencefor ward the women of their caste shall weur a flower lu the nose Instead of n ring. If the indies refuse to obey they will be lluble to a floe. Tradition de clores that wearing the nose-ring Is a memento of an injunction from Vishnu himself. How to Get It Blinks You don't mean to tay you've fouud a sure way to make money at the races? Jinks Sure as shooting. I never fall. Blinks My! my! Do you buy tips? Jinks No, I sell them. New York Weekly. Like Lightning. "My Freddlo rode like lightning the first time lie got on a wheel.'i ' ' ' "You are tlbblng." "Not a bit Doesn't lightning go In a alg-zag?" Fllegende Blaetter. Gaylord-u-r!n.rU W IomberMcJlngirU',, a poetry In " "HnisJ1 Th 'n-T"' hluk he know. ,,? lDU,"i I do. ' ",or lb J ne Brlde-Ho I Rav Sklnneat0"? " so successful., Bu1hI He's . . American. (i U; led a N.i... I sltnr ..w:;..u,k. K-D,dyourCftn-V jck-:!!& "'an riuii. i,, i. . you can couseleutleunly .UT and Euds. 7 ,IUokHi rolled half. yard7 me confidentially bat he tZLT money for it." IM' w" nielancboir 1 "its a strange fact th.,S poem. '"'' Invariably Star. W'-tu Young Hushaud-i),,; I thatwhltCHiwderyoua Young Wife (cook!nffiT. I Ins nou-,1.. u-'wui i lie ci World ,.., That settled It ' Vt by has Mrs. Unjdon Uft J husbd and gone buck to !, She got to rummaging u,,. papers the other day and f0MaV ctpt for his first wife', Mp " ring. It cost $20 more than bmiiii, the second one." , the cake Into t!m In the Klondike i i True to Her. ' She Are even your thoughts true to me? He Yes, Indeed! Whenever t kiss another girl I try to Imagine It la you I am kissing. Up-to-Date. Increased His Class. This could only happen In Scotland where a way has been discovered bv a Glasgow minister to compel even tho worldly passions of men to make for righteousness. He noticed that the young women who came to Bible class at his bouse each had a young mnn waiting for her. So one evening what did this canny Scotsman do, when the class was In progress, but make nn ex cuse to leave tho room and step out side, where, as he expected, he found a small crowd of waiting swains. With much politeness he pointed out his un willingness to keep thera from their sweethearts and Invited them to come liiHlde and see them. It la needless to add this Glasgow minister has a mixed Bible class now on his hands. And It Is doing well. Boston Herald. A Noble Woman. The wife of Gen. Washington proved herself fully equul to the high position. Her levees were more select and court ly than any that have since been given, yet she preferred home-life and home comforts, spenklng of her public life as her "lost days." When she took tip her residence with the army her chief occasion wns to care for the welfare of the soldiers. To those tn camp, she showed a most worthy example of courage and cheerful patience under nil manner of privations; to sick and weary she carried that balm to sooth a weary spirit and body, which only the presence of a noble and sympa thetic woman can bear. Mrs. Wash ington, with her large fortune, could easily have outshone all others In fash Ion and display, but Instead, she put herself and her servants In home-made materials. Sixteen spinning wheels were kept In constant operation In her house. On one occasion she displayed two dresses of cotton, striped with silk explaining that the silk stripes were woven from the ravellngs of brown silk stockings and old crimson damask chair covers. No Edge on the Cat. "Just look at that kitten, will your tald Mr. Lushfortb. "What satisfac tion do you suppose It geta In chasing Imaginary mice?" "I don't see why you should ask me," snld his wife. "You know more about that sort of thing than I do." Indian apolis Journal. , Are Theyf "How disagreeable are the eccentrici ties of genius." "Are they any more disagreeable than the eccentricities of people who haven t any genius?" Boston Post I KA I cfy7 Si Sklppy Skaguay-Now'imfttiKu make a haul. i Hp rely. Yeast I've Just Invested In one ot those salt-aud-pcppcr suits. Crlmsonbenk Well, that sounds as If It would be good for at least two sea sons. Yonkers Statesman. Fast Friends. Martha Do you believe that Renee's hair Is dyed? Jone It Isn't nice of you to say such things! I'm very sure It Isn t dyed. Martha How do you know? Jane I was with her when she bought It Gnulols. Lots of Recreation Time. "That pretty Miss Bomletl Is always tniKing about her fathers vacations. What does she mean? "Why, he Is a professional nolltlclnn. and never does anything between cam- pnlsns."-Clcveliind Plain Dealer. It May Be o. "Why do actors always object to oue-night stands?" "Because they think the supply of eggs might be exhausted by the sec ond or third night, I guess." Icicle Bill-Robbed! rublwTs'i nil, me saudwIch.-St Loula RVpcSi my Fatal Neglect. Husband Wbnt's tho matter. aearj Wlfe-Our girl has left. Husbnnd-Oh, well, don't let that worry you. There nre plenty more. Wife But I forgot to get a recom- meudatlon from her. True Commiseration. 1 Tf JWV 1 " K if.. To Provide Domeatloa. Tho Housewifery Club, of New York, Is Intended to facilitate domestic work. It provides Its members with maids having satisfactory references, aud stimulates the servnut by navlnir her a prise at the end of a certain time tno 8ant Gertrudes ranch belomr t H'chest Woman !n Texas. Mrs. Richard King, of Texas, Is prob ably the richest woman In the United States, not even excepting Mrs. Hetty Green. She Is a widow, aud her land ed estates lu Southern Texas amount to 1,250,000 acres, or about 2,000 square miles. The ranch ou which she resides Is the largest In the world. It Is called 'The Santa Gertrudes." In the center of It thirteen miles from her front gate, Is Mrs. King's home, a central chateau' looming up like a baroulal castle on a slight eminence. All around It are the pretty homes of dependents, surround ed by well-tilled fields and gardens The 200.000 cattle, of Improved and Imported breeds, and all sheep within h r. Honest Lefilslator-pye b 'en Insulted. air! I've been approached by a rascally charlatan who offered me $10 for my vote. , , Sympathetic Friend Terrible! Ter rible! Don't take It It'a worth $100. Acquaintance Doesn't Count. 'I can't understand why Jermyn and h s wife don't get along well together. She was his typewriter for yeara be fore he married her, and they aurely ought to have known whether they were suited to each other nr nnt "My dear sir, a shoe never pinches until after you put It on." ' " .... Mlajudged. I ra afraid that. Mr. Hunkson Is a Tory fast young man. He must not come here any more." "Oh, papa, you wrong him. Why, he was raised tn Philadelphia." Fortune's Visit, Good fortune limy kuoik at nci door, But don't forget, kind reod. The knocking is never done A mau has a dooi tobo kuocM't A WUh. "My youth," said the penurious a: "was spent as a sailor." "I'd like to have kaowo yon lb "Why!" , "It would have been a pi"""'1 you pay out Btiiiiftblng, even If only a cnblc."-Wasiiin ' He Ilenerret On - "Did you hear about tl V ' " committed suicide benuwe poems was rejected ?" I "No. Are thoy going to hulldi. l.li.iV ' I mucin iu "What, to a fellow who -, suicide?" "No, to the editor w poem." M'.MttrlaT. Found "" fr it.. Salntly-Ah. air I W new planet a Fahrenheit! pared for that? Summer iioiei i.".---- ,g Great Scott! No. 've cM hotel and let theeu. It la not beyond the j possible to expect a '""jpr corn before the crop .ofj , ered. But even tho" , growers are not Secretary Wilson notice lnmnnyexcbaneM . tag on the question o f .i.ati now rle i , If her work has been satisfactory. Perhaps some children rv naughty because they have heard that the good die young. Methuselah completed nine centuries and he never even saw a bicycle. Mrs. King. The current exm.n.J: the ranch reach f 100,000 a year. Three ""Ul" J re in ber employ for whom she keeps 1.200 ponies. About half the time when a woman rwwa Kit- U- II 10 I She Btlll Thinks It. Miss Pussay When . I was thought I was a younir ldr Miss Snlppley-Wonderful! Miss Passay-Oh, there's nothing so wonderful about that Every girl of l" thinks the same thing. does hit the nail on the head she drlv-. a , , W- ' know. The won It In the wrong place. Mr" . Jerful '1Brt Jou haven't changed 1 you' nilnd for thirty yeara. tute for corn ami o growing of these wren ' I " m..i,io. This thing . oU Thebushtd ofcon., .. . Ill II I IM lilt. j .- er s raw m"- - p beef, pork, mutton, Vf ter or cheese, one , , w ... m ,!.. htm forty ,kdr at" 300' ultr wit rlll hHntf mill ron ayir and ofteuer more , What shall be ral Why, moro corn. . ,f corn a man JVciiJ has the right sort of & ,t up. the better he l' an i done ir . earth can be done tr either will not or ,i -hn DcrslfWJ" tf In raising corn to u yet Kslse more cor. ' lutl' Honesty may be ,"$i face aud yet leats