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About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 4, 1897)
Eagene City Caard. EUGENE CITY ORKiOX. Death has all aenson for bit own, but tbe foot-ball season It undeniably on of bis favorite. Tbo who rudely broke, their hom connections to go to Klondike aro forming other tin up there. They've U'gun lynching each other. Judging from recent statistic, p peudlHtl seem to bo growing Into an epidemic In the United State that sug gest the Idea of a quarantine gainst the disease. A literary critic aaya that Kipling poetry la the only modern literary work which ahowa the reaulta of lu aplratlon. Well, a dollar a word la enough Inspiration to produce quite ao effort. 3 The latest rulee of tbe pontofflee de partment rt-qtilre employe to use the utmost civility In all thHr dealing with the public. Civil ecrvlcy will leave no room for a demand for civil service reform. A writer In a eportlng coutemporary .aaya that "the Laplander when ou skate think nothing of covering 1W .Bill day." The average man lu tbla country who goo on a -skate' doesn't think of It either. Tbe giving of W centa a week to bis wife got a Pltuburger a thirty-day work-bouse sentence a deserved re buke for recklessness. Domestic econ omy must be enforced. If bo bad given ber a dollar there la no telling what DJUgbt have bapined to bliu. An experienced man who bus Just re turned from Alaska tell the Fargo Ar gus bow to cure the Klondike fever. Tick out a morning next winter," he aaya, "when tbe mercury I bolow aero, shoulder a pick and go Into the woods before breakfast; dta a bole alxteen feet deep; come bark to the bouse at nlgbt and eat a small jyloPo of stewed buffalo robe and sleej,ln the woodshed. Repeat tbe (lose as of ton'n necessary." Arab chlefa are regarding tho discov ery of water by English eiiglncvgi In the Nubian desert with great iftlsfae Hon. Tbcy believe It will revolutionize the country and cause village to spring up In the heart of tbe desert. Three thousand men nrg employed In build ing tbe railroad whch Is being laid there, many of them being dervishes who were captured by tho Anglo-Egyptian forces, and they w ill work with a will for the money they receive. One who beard Lord Kelvin and Lord Lister at the late meeting Of the Brit ish Association for the Advancement of Science was struck with their gentle ness of voice. There wa a restfulm In the tones. No "Hue frenzy" helped the spectator to Imagine for a moment that be was llsteulng to one w'io uindo declamation take the place of demon slratlon. How well this simplicity symbolized that true science that never mistake vociferation for verity! Quackery luve tho "sounding brass" of long words and a loud voice. If Diogenes were still on earth, hunt ing with bis lautern for an honest man, Monrovia, I nil., would be the place for him to turn his steps toward. Clark Geo re lives there, ami If one recent net of bis Is an Index of bis nature, lu! Is ust tbe sort of man Diogenes wasook Ing for. Qeare Is a velo ran of the late war, and some time ago npiAled for a pension because of rheumatism. He got It, bufcrcccntly returned his cert Id eate and $.1T0 back pension to tl. de partment at Washington, saying that bis rheumatism had gradually Improv ed and Dually left him completely, and that he was therefore not entitled to the pension. Tbe name of the river that la now on everybody's llpa should be spelled ,"Klndlke," according to the rules of our Government Hoard of Geographic Names, which say Uiat In foreign and aboriginal name "0 la always soft and baa nearly the sound of 8, as lu Cele bes," and "K should silwnys bo used for the bard C," and thnt "Y Is always consonant, as In "yard,' and therefore should not be used for the vowel I.' For about eight years the orthographic rule adopted by the leading geographi cal societies Ijnve agreed hi rejecting the possessive ense In many names. Tho rule adopted by our Hoard of Geo graphic Names Is: "The pos.-eslve form should 1h avoided whenever It can be done without destroying the euphony of the name or changing Its descriptive application." So "Cook Inlet" and "St. Michael" now appear In nil our govern ment publications, though "Cook's In let" and "St. Michael's" are still cur rent In many newspapers. Farmers In America who are some time unable to "make both ends meet" would do well to study the methods and processes of Belgian farmers. Six mill ion of people In Belgium live on a ter ritory about equal to the State of Mary land, and a farm of two acres Is enough to support a man and his family and enable him to lay by something for a rainy day. An article lu Colmau's Rural World tells something of the methods of tho Belgian farmer and ' gives an Interesting Insight Into rural thrift and economy In the most dense ly aettled country of Europe. Describ ing tho typical two-acre farm In Itel glum, tbe article say the thrifty Bel gian makea the most of every Inch by heavy manuring and allowing no waste places. A patch of wheat or rye and barley, another of potatoes, etc., and other garden truck, even the slop ing aides of the ditches for Irrigation being utilized, and the general result Is that with thrift and economy the far- ' mer provides about everything bis fam ily needs except a few groceries and clothes, while the surplus products more than supply his other wants and leave a balance to bta credit, which grows each year. ,' Manitoba la beginning to look con fidently to tbe United Kta cs for an overflow of population to make the vast plains of the northwest a new ag ricultural empire. Basing their con clusions on the fnct thai the public lauds of the United State own to set tlement are practically exhausted, tbe Manitoba-is think that a tbe United State pow twelves and la been re ceiving tbe surplus populntloua of the old world tbe aurplus of tbe United State w 111 In turn overflow Into Can ada, especially Into Munltoba, w here It 1 now much easier to obtain a farm than In the United 8ttos. A uiimlx r of Canadian Immigration societies have already been established In this coun try and whether the Cauudlans aro right or not lo their opposition they M.-1-iu to think they are obtaining t overflowing of the geuulue Ar erlcau populutlou, people who want to own tbelr own homes, while their places aro taken In A merit a by the continued In flux of foreign Immigration. Th- Klon dike, the Wawa and the Kooteuay gold mine will also add to Canada' attract Iveuess and draw hardy and adventur ous men, many of whom will, so tho Munltubau think, remain and become t-ltUeu. The Indictment of six prominent Keii tuckluu by tbe grand Jury at Frauk foit for "poker-playlng for money" I regarded by the Chicago Times-Herald a another sign of the decline of poker. For better or worse, and without con sidering the ethic of gambling, It Is ap parent to any one who will think of It for a momeut that poker Is slowly but surely going out of fashion. Before the war everybody ptuyed It. Tho statesman of those duy was n well known for bis skill In opening a Jack put and the suvolr fulro with which ho staked all of bis poomnslou on bis abil ity to guess whether bis opiolielit bail filled or merely bluffed as for bis fo- reiiNlo eloquence. After the war, 'ho game kept Its bold ou popular favor to but a slightly diminished e'egree. But gradually It has lost Its seductive pow er for American mankind, until uow hardly anybody pluys It. Wbllo a few yeur ago poker was pluyed In every clu... now It I forbidden by the ruleu of most. Then, every hotel saw u doxeii or more games lu progress. Now au order to the bell-boy to bring curds auu chip to the room Is a rare occur rence. Then, everybody pluyed, now tbo sume men find It dllllciilt to recol lect when they Inst oiciied a "Jack pot." The giimu, once a "gentleman's game," tins lost Its favor, and with firro and roulcttf bns In-come a gambler's game, pluyed seldom by any one but reces sional. . NEW STYLES OF CHAINLES8 WHEELS. EVERY bicycle rider Is Interested In the chslnles wheel, which now seems to le the bike of the future. Alresdy many forms of the new " whel ar ezhlblted. Some of tbem are queer lookiug affairs and enn nevir com Into practic-al nse. but tests, more or lesa witisfaetory, hsve been mn'ie ' four of these types, which will contest for supreuiscy under the trying commi. ns of actual use. One of these Is a boudiome wheel with s bevel gearing. ,,l''01 la a nest casing, and Is the result of a series of Mperinient extending oxer wv ersl years. Another f them Is bevel-geared, but differs in Internal cn r,,t'' " from tbe one Just mentioned. One Is a wheel with three sprockets engaging o e another In a direct line. There Is a sprocket on the crank nxle. similar to ' ordinary sprocket, eioept that It Is much larger snd the teeth are 'li;'- ' next sprocket In the Hue Is of the some site and slinpe. and the third, wiiicn s the axle of the rear wheel. Is smaller. The fourth of the most promising cho ui.s wheels also hss three sprockets, but the center one 'is tive or six times Hie sixe tbe two others. Artist DEFENSE OF THE REOHEAD. Trlls Why He FsncUs That Color Above Others We went to our favorite bench In tho pork, sitting o we could ,ke I watched my artist friend bo S anked me to take . quiet .troll rl,u ,,lm- .i I.. r- I tried to open conversation by re- "'Sme; now. let u. play 'truth upon honor for one-half hour." -Very well: whut shall the topic br "Oh. anything from tbe Humphrey Mils to the question, Why has red hair always beeu looked uiou In all age with aversion?" "Red hair!" exclaimed he. "There no such thing. I'on't let anyone cou vliice you thut there Is uch a thing a real red hair. What ieople tail red hair Is a mixture of two or itiree suau ,.r e..n,.w and brown. Call It auburn or Titian." I saw thut my friend was getting a far-awuy look aud Would soon become remlnlM-eiit. He continued: "1 hover knew a red hulred girl to be stm.ld. She Is always Interesting. quick of action, quick of speech, quick. t? jtini .....j . ...... i l if . . No Pleconnt on Them. Phe-llow cun I ever repay you for our kindness? He With kisses. She-How much do you value thorn at? He-ril tuke them at tbelr fuce vnlue.-1'p to Dutc. A lonil Memory. "What's the mutter?" asked tbe pe nurious landlord. "The plaster' fallen off the cclllug," said tho tenant' on. v..ti I linne vou'ro satisfied. The to resent, quick to forgive, ami w . Mng y()U (( WUMI yoU 1I10ved lu fill. Sv llll'.ll 1111 IC . ruv - was to complain thnt tbo ceilings were too low."-Wushlngton Star. MRS. CLEVELAND. Homo Idea of the value aud of the In terest that Is being "shown In Ontario's gold mines lu the newly discovered MlchlpVoteu district may lie learned from the report of Mr. Archibald lllue, director of the bureau of mines, as given lu Vie Canadian pnM-rs. Mr. Blue bns organized the new mining dis trict, which has been placed under tho direction of Mr. D. Boyd. During the fifteen days Mr. Blue was at the oliico there were ttrglstered between olg'hl'y and ninety claims, which had been reg ularly staked out bw license-holders ami upon all of which discoveries of gold hud been made. In all oyer 200 licenses have been Issued since the new regulations went Into effect, then alwiit a mouth. The new law allows miners to tuke out two IIccuncs provided they are not under the same rein, and a number of miners have availed them selves of this privilege. As the system of mining enables miners to secure a claim at trifling expense, Mr. Blue re ports It as very popular anions; pros pectors. Among the prospectors who hiive staked out claims are Lord Doug laws of Hurvlek and a company In wUlch Col. HUdalo Is Interested. The director also rexirls that ho heard of ono vein from twenty to thirty feet wide which showed fne gold In prom Ixlng quantities, the samples of quart shown him being literally covered on the face with the precious metal. Many of the prospector bud no exirlence at all, and many is them, nccordlng to Mr. Blue, never left their camp at Wawa. Mont of those who did, how ever, were successful lu locating claims. Tb Birth of a don Again Directs I'ubllo Attention to Her. The birth of a son to Mr. and Mr. Cleveland again direct the public at tention to the former mistress of tho White House In a degree which leaves no room to doubt tbe place tbut r e holds lu the beart of the American people. It may bo truthfully said that no other woman In tbl3 country has ever occupied tue same position t-at Mrs. Cleveland bns, and that position was created distinctly by herself. Oth er women have been mistresses of the White House aud greatly beloved by the people for their graclousness, good ncsi aud beauty; but none of them, not excepting even tho futnous Dolly Madi son, can go down lu history occupying the same position that must be accord ed to Mrs. Cleveland. When Mrs. Cleveland became mis tress of the White House she was, com paratively spcuklng, an untried girl, and the duties Immediately devolving Ukiii ber were of such n nature that tbe most skillful and highly trained wom an of society might have quailed before were constantly on hand to play with .i,om tvi.ifo mt tiia Wblte House. Mrs. Cleveland Is a believer lu the kinder-1 garten and maintained one while at tho White House, under the charge of Ml . . ..i.n.iHJ... I, I Mary wiiiora, wnero me i-iuuuru, ... company with about a dozen little girls, were dally taught. An Evenlnt with IXckens. "For an 'Evening with Dickens,' " advise Fannie Mack Lothrop, writing , of "Evenings for Literary Clubs," lu j the Ladles' Home Journal, "one of the j Items of the program might be a sketch of bis life condensed Into about two Iftindred words. The Dickens drawing, by Charles Dana Gibson, might be ciin from the Journal and hung up beroro the audience, and the story of each churneter and Incident Illustrated, told. The trial from 'Pickwick could lie ur runged for Individual rending or for a nunilxr to tuke tmrt lu It. A bright paper may be written on 'The People of Dickens' World. In Dickon' works there are fifteen hundred and fifty sep-, arate etiarncters, enoiign io iieojne u whole village. Some of Dickens' poems have been Ills Plun. n..,,1 rmi run away." ald the friend of the accused cashier. "Flight 1m i-.iinfcHHlin." I "Well," suld tho cashier. "I guesa Pill ; make a clean breast of It by taking uio train for Cuuiidii."-Puck. Located. Sir. GuesHlng-Rlc-hea have wings, they say. I wonder what the wings look like. Guesslng-If yon rcnlly want to know, iny dear, take a look at those ou your new lionnet. Truth. One Thing Left. Peasant wife (to couutry qunck)- Oh, doctor, you must do oinctbing be Is much Doctor-H'm! I hnve already cupped JOHN BRISBEN WALKER. Journalist Who I'r opines Foiimllna L'utveislty for WorkliiK People, John Hi'lhbcn Walker, who put-pones to found a university for working peo ple, Is ono of the most versatile men In Now York. (IIo will brglu the orgnnl xntlon of tho new listltutlon In Sep tember, . when Prof. Andrews leaves the presidency of Brown, from which he has rotdgncd. Mr. Walker bus had n varied career. II passed some years In the military ncademy at West Point and left that school to accept a position In the army of tho Chinese empire. WheA bo returned to America he be en me it manufacturer, got Into polities and wns nominated for Congress. Thnt was In 1S70. In tho panic of 1M73 his fortune wns swept nwny. Tlfen he went Into newspaper work, wrote for Cft I A 'I Vi, I4i.ll !' i'fl! Hi r. Hlfy i Hil.lfTT Art. i liAAi'f II IN I II 1 1 I.I '. I W ?VM$atg r-rfcJM i I I ' M 1 1 ll 1 1 H 1 1 1 1 1 B B -' ?' a ' 'f ; I f MRS. CLEVELAND. I ' JOHN ntttHUK WALKER. the Cincinnati Commercial Gnzctte.and became the ninnagltig editor of sever.tl Journals. Abandoning that work Mr. Walker went to Colorado and turned alfulfa farmer. He was a pioneer In tho growing of this plant and bis faun wns the most noted lu the country. At tho fume, time be wns engaged In a scries of engineering operations which saved from the Platte River au area equal to 500 lots III the heart of the city of Denver. He bold out all his ropcrty lu the West and with u very large cap ital realized from It wont East ami purchased the decadent Cosmopolitan Mngaxlne. Under bis management tho Cosmopolitan ha proved a groat finan cial success. Mr. Walker Is reputed to ho a millionaire and able to carry his educational scheme Into practice. nee' Wings Work Itaptilty. A captive bee striving to escape ha been made to record as many as 13,,Vl( wlug stroke per minute lu a reevt't test the undertaking. But, with all of her Inexporleueo, through her native good sense, developed by thorough edncntlou and her natural sweetness of disposi tion and goodness of benrt, ripened by a brond Christianity, she entered upon the discharge of those duties In a wny that won not only the respect, the ad miration and tho love of our own peo ple, but of tho whole civilized w-'d. Not one mistake did alio make while occupying her trying posltlou. and not a criticism worthy of consideration was ever made of u - conduct ou nuy occasion. Although delightful rs a hostess and enchanting ns a friend, It Is by tho light of neither of these virtues thnt we see ber at her best. Motherhood, the supremo fest of tbe nobler and higher nature of a woman, so devel 0hhI and Illustrated her tine character as to cause ber to shine forth with pe culiar luster lu a nntlou noted for Its cxcelleut motherhood. There wns no posing about It, uotblng forced for show or paraded for effect. She Is far too sincere and noble a woman for any thing of that kind, and the reasou why she has devoted herself so thoroughly to her children Is that she felt It a duty, Imperative, but fur more pleasant than the discharge of mechanical social functions. But still, at the same time, no complaint wns ever 'nude that she neglected any social duties. She Is now the mother of four chil dren. Little Ruth, the eldest, wns born In New York ou Oct. 3, 1HU1, and Is quite au accomplished little lady, speaking German as well as English. Esther, tho recond child, first saw the light at the White House lu October, 1SP3, during President Cleveland' sec ond administration. She wns the first child ever born there. Marian, the third little girl, was born at uray Ja bles In July, 1S!C, aud consequently Is now over 2 years old. Tbe addition of the boy to the family fills the measure of the Cleveland' happiness, for be was the one consummation devoutly wished by both parents. In the training of her children Mr. Cleveland bus carefully guarded against the dangers of environment, keeping them carefully away from that atmosphere of flattery and attentions Wiiich would naturally develop wrong Ideas lu the little ones. But still slip has been careful that they are kept from seclusion, anu -" friend I set to music notably 'The Ivy Green and would make n pleasant feature Anecdotes of Dickens- might be glvct by ten or a dozen members, each giving one. These might be Intersperset through the program. A member wltl any cleverness In photography inlgh muke a series of Dickens' lantert slides from pictures In standard edl tlons of the novelist's works, and glvj a tingle-lantern entertainment. Tin death of Paul Dombey would make i pathetic reading from 'Dombey anc! Son.' 'Mrs. Jurlcy's Waxworks,' ns do scribed lu The Old Curiosity Simp, could be given with some of the mem bers grouped as characters lu the fa nious show, and designated, ns Little Nell did, with a pointer." bright speeches, and' sometime with the greatest linlvetto. For Instance, I knew u charming young lady, n golden haired belle, who bonst a fumlly crest over atHJ year old, whose wit Is equal ed only by ber love of fun. She I somewhat religiously Inclined. To a young gcntlcuiun who earnestly en treated her to wultx tho other evculng, she returned with the startling nega tive: 'I'll be dimmed If I do. Of course, she mount It ns a statement, not as an usMcvcrutlon. "Red hair brings wltb It great sensi bility. When tho owner bn blue eye , and brown brow aud lashc she Is of a , sentimental turn of mind aud alway musical. Browu eyes and dark lashes ! Rie noted for their htnuty, and often do- veloi) irrcut dramatic talent. Red hair always goes with strong emotions, and more for uiy i)UHtnua; the red haired girl laughs ami cries ni worse. the theater, while her dark-haired sis ter loses half of life by Mug more dig nified and less appreciative. Yes," sighed my friend, meditatively. "She Is a lovoblo darling when sho likes you, but shnrper than a two-edged aword when she doesu't." I looked at my artist friend In utter astonishment mid wondered why my Innocent remark had called for so much eiithiix!sm. However, I wns rather pleased than otherwise, ns my own hnlr barely escaped the suspicions color. "I see there Is no room for argument here," I ventured to remark. Well, no," he laughingly replied, 'mt I'll tell yon something for your own consolation. When I wns abroad last vear I enme across a rcd-hulrcd club In Vienna nnd to prevent fraudu lent admissions every candidate wna obliged to ivush his hair lu hot water before the committee." Your apology Is nccepted," I re marked. . "Oh." said my artist friend, "I am Just freeing my mind." TeacberU-Ki,,,, latency r '-"ni I)j -lnr, I'upll-That 'would be f . wa. to ride one tnak. of w j year and different nuik, ag A ftulwtltnt. WW Book Worm- ii - nine you "fifteen necisive Ilattler Halosludy-No, but Pre got rw loctlona of a Murrled Man." No Won Jer. "Our Janitor was sick all nnBfl. "What was the matter?" "It prostrated blni to see u puta all the hot air wo wanted without pealing to blm."-t'hattanoosa Nj Knobbed In llikedoai. "Whnt a beautiful woman that Ducklngton Is. She seems to tw hltbi, cultured, too, and yet I bare rwtkej Worn in' Truest Accompli bnient. "Several of the great educational In. stltutlons for girls announced this fall, for the first time In their history, class es for sewing ns one of their chief at tractions," writes Edward W. Rok In the Ladles' Home Journal. "The girls of the fashionable world are Joining 'sewing afternoon,' as they are called. Common sense has come to the rescue lu pointing out to girls that sewing U on nrt, and one of the finest of accom plishment. In olden times the needle was the pride of tho clever maid: none wai prouder than sho who, with her own bands, could fashion her own dainty lingerie. "The modern girl, In taking up her scwlng.'only comes back to first prin ciple. But they are sturdy principles to which she is returning, and she will find them so. It Is a small thing which sometime causes a revolutlou, and the needle, small as It Is, by a gen eral adoption can do much to elevate American girlhood to a pinnacle of usefulness which will win for her ad miration the world over. So essen tially feminine an art should never be allowed to die out, and when Its possi bilities, artistic and useful, are better understood by our girls, their own pride will keep It In Its proper place; among woman's highest art and truest accomplishments." A I'niveral Weakness. "1 never censure lnzy people." ; "Why not?" "The laziest man on earth isu't half as loxy as ! would le If I could afToi-d It" Chicago Record. Oxford Bible Paper. The paper uiuklug of Oxford Bibles is a sin-dully Important nnd Interesting part of the work, says Chambers' Jour nal. At Wolvercote, a mile or two out af Oxford, the university has a large mill for the supply of Its own require ments. A good deal of the pnper they turn out hero Is made of old ships' sails, tho material of which, lifter buttling with storms In all quarters of tho world, come Info for the purpose of be ing made Into paper, printed In almost every ' language uuder heaven nnd bound up In volumes, to lie again scat tered fur and wide Into all the utter most ends of the enrth. This .Wolvercote paper has much to do with the great reputation that Ox ford has acquired In the production of Bibles mid other devotional books. Twenty years ago and moro the man agement here hit on n valuable Inven tion lu paper making and ever slnco their "India paper" bus been the envy nnd puzzle of manufacturers all over the kingdom. There are said to be only tb ice persons living who know the se cret of Its make, and, though the proc ess has (lever beu legally protected nnd nil the world Is free to Imitate the extremely thin but thoroughly opnquo nnd wonderfully strong and durnblo paper of the best Oxford iflbles, If tlicy only know how, all the world his hith erto quite failed to do so. It Is thin as tissue, but perfectly opnquc and so strong that a strip of It time Inches wide bus proved to bo capable of sustaining n quarter of a hundredweight. Over BiO works and editions nre now printed on this paper. This special advantage bus very largely bellied Oxford to retain the leading po sition which It originally gained by be ing ucnily the first, If not quite the flrst, printer of Inxiks lu tho klngd:-:i, aud by the prestige of Its name. COMFORTING. f. "X. n L . -91 She John, ore yo" perfectly sure thnt this horse Is not afraid of the trains? John I should sny be wasn't On the contrary, he runs right Into thru.-. Cincinnati Enquirer. him nnd bled him. There Is nothing else I could do for hi in but pull one of bis teeth. Fllcgetide Blnetter. Hellish. . "Why do you prosperous men alwnys say thut the bidder of success Is made up of broken rounds?" "Well-thcy do It so thnt other fel lows won't try to crawl up after them." All Gone but Outline. She When a man Is In love, doe he ever make mental reservations lu re gurd, to his adored one? He No; when a man Is really In love be hasn't any mentality. Squared It with a Cycle. "How Rider getting ou wltb that breach of promise suit?" "Compromised It." "Indeed?" "Yes; he taught her a bicycle." Ex. Dclluhts of Suburban Life. "My wife made me lenrn Rudynrd Kipling's 'Recessional' by heart." "Why?" "She said 'Lest we forgot refrain might remind me of the errands I hud to go." Cleveland Plulndenler. Located In a Moment. foe Abmt Perfume. The, perfumes which nre the most agreeable to the sense aro not always the most helpful to the nerves, says tho Philadelphia Times. Ambergris, for In stance, Is positively offensive to many, yet It Is said to possess a wonderful power of clearing the brain nnd driv ing away those evil spirits known as ' the "blues." On the other baud, attar I of roses, with the suggestion of glow- hig suns and gorgeous eastern colors, predisposes ono to tears. A faint odor of musk acts as a tonic, while civet brings drowsiness of soul, for which ! the best antidote Is. the pungent odor ' or sandalwood. The fragrance of citron Is ns soothing to nervous people as far off music. Many perfumes delightful In the onen air become particularly dlsugreeablo ! In a close room. A whole evening can 1,1 ft. fli BT i v Barber Ilnlr cut? Stranger Nope. Barber Hulr singed to Improve the growth? Stranger Nopo. Barber Shampoo? Stranger Nope, but you can wash my nock. Barber How Is business In Pitts burg nov?-St. Louis Republic. The Sly Husband. "There goes Stubbing trying to fool the neighbors. Hig wife Is away from home, and he wants the woman next door to toll her whnt a dull time he bad." "Whnt hns he got In thnt basket?" "Ills dress suIt."-Clevelnnd Tlnln-dealer. StiflU'lcnt Reason. be spoiled by the presence of tuberose. ' JTn lf, Cm T"0 or lilies lu a reception room. Their ? '" n"Jul- "y don't you have stioiur frnirrnnno hn. . -.... " ii"iruecn n '"" ' J UUU ClieCU Magnolia blossoms, too, have a delight ful perfume In their native grove, but woe to her who sleep through the! night with a single blossom on her pll-1 low. There are many fragrant flower, 1 such as carnations, clove pinks, sweet-1 brier and apple blossom, (hat are as 1 beneficial as they are aweet sceuted. I A vivid perfume 1 nearly always bracing, while a subtle one 1 generally ' v,,c moi urojiue nosmvtt. i.i- . . e rem rxom a bonrd of health." member of the cen- One in tbe Family. And now, children, what la turlon? Well. Willie?" "Please, ma'am, my brother Is one." "Your brother Is oner "Yes. ma'am; he made a century Inst Saturdny."-Cleveland Plalndenler. tn Infallible Sinn. ly Intoxicated by the odor of the peach lveu bh xn " lHt derately almond, wild cherry and otheA. y,M.WUwn- souis of tho same clas. tuw...,. ...7. 1 . ' " uo think so? - v lill'l Tom I overhenrd him tolling i,. hi. I trouutt, that she Isu't much of a favorite In s clety." "Xo, sho Is almost ostraclied,"' "I wonder why It Is?" "Oh, the reason Is not far to Her husband Is In the tack nianufictv Ipg business." Cleveland Leader. Her Intercut in the Game. "I'm sorry the base-hull teas I over," she said, thoughtfully. "Were you Interested In the pimT "Not til tho game Itself. But I lib to go with my husband and hear his cheer nnd cheer. It wns tbe only tit I knew that limn to exhibit anythlat like n cheerful dlsposltlon."-Ysbiiij ton Star. Incorrect. First Oent-I see this account of tk race says the Sprinter fairly flew. Second (lent Well, whnt of It? "Just this; Sprinter never did my thing fairly In his llfc."-Iudlnalii Journal. The Modern Novel. "Has that liook any good cbir tors?" nsked the literary critic. 'Well," replied the casual readO few of the people had good chancim lu the first chapter. Hut they're tl hopelessly lost before the middle of story." Washington star. , & .1 T. T.tlk. IlnrV. Willie Pn. whnt's a receiving teller! I'a-Ifa a phonograph ctIIhot Willie. it.. .. iiia..v idea. "My dear, why are you mvIw'Ik e, fit tinirH"r" mVI,.-,.n.t en 1(1 mil fllWATi W" 9 buy flies when you o temt n !..,. 1 llsniiilT "Isn't this a handsome uewcollec' basket?" nsked the xcxton. . "Oh, yes," replied the minister, passable." North American. c - lint. rsnrm-nr. Cubebs was veryww ful ou Ills recent hunting trip- Dunn-How did he manage Iti scrlbo for the game? n - 1, i...lal. Can les treitJ"- A remarkably old woman y through Rending on tm In J Glrnrdvllle. She Is Mrs. Ct"n Lnughlin. of Wttterlmry. Coi n. .,.?.... lu.n Just ce of tM VIN1UUK IIUl " . ,,.MU t.... x.t .,i,iin. of i Irani'"1- Mrs. McLaughlin Is l0 ? She rends without glasse walkan.llewlUH.ut.roi.b.0. , pie are disposed to l'l,;n" M but the olllclul papers she carrt a'1 'louW- wltb ber1 She hns certmwi ci"- - the church nnd otuer n-- -i. Lorn In Irelimo 1 ' J n irn. Riie Is a tea drinker, a voi and enjoy pipe N'10'1 , rcfl"" . In In the Cw . Mie will re... .'" . mtcniHW about u month and I hen turn to WterburT.--li A now theater iu " , , , lectr.--- w . .. vim ...i. i.u woinau, ,,j,t to be one of the most . eloctrlclnn In the "',il,'ry' tf0bmr nun m,j " -77aa-" k i,o...l.ll nine Is "''a ,,. thttt whnt the team "u',l""mV' plre wouldn't look well i" A.