EUGENE CITY GUARD.
I. L. OAMraKLL, froprUlar.
EUOEMK CITY.
..OREGON
-i
Fame and fortune are waiting for
tin inn 11 who w ill succeed In crossing
the Jimmies ginger plant with tlio
UeOI'glll Watermelon.
I ".MiiNt llio locomotive go?" Inqtirc
' the Hartford Coiiriuit. It must, broth
it. It must; n locomotive which doesn't
Co Ik worth JtiHt half a ecut a xuud
for ultl Iron.
Tlic Cleveland (xillee are much niya
tilled by a recent burglary. Homebody
broke Into a residence ami Htolu a con
certlna mill nothing elxe. We suggest
that the nearest uclghbor'a house be
searched.
It Ik niiiiniinced that Lillian Russell
l.n H II mi! I y decided to shed another litis
luiiiil nml I:iih started for Pnkota to
further this Interesting operation. To
uve lime and trouble, Lillian' next
marriage license Kliould have at leiiHt
nix divorce coiioiiit ntliiehed.
Texan Is n great state. The agent of
a picnic grove at I .a I'orle advertises
that "never yet Iiiih there Ih-cii a kls
Stolen Is'llcutll I lie umbrageous iMillghx
of our t-.vlviui resort that wasn't I111
liieilliilely rcplovlucd by the victim."
How do the divorce court record aver
age in that county?
Cntiillo MenileH, who threw down IiIh
sword in disgust the other day be
cause IiIh opponent In a French duel
lcrlld In retreating, Hhouhl reiiiein
Iht that the latter Iiiih excellent author
ity for such a coiii'mc. Huh he forgot
ten the adage that "he who fights and
riuiN away may live to Unlit another
day'"
Thi.rne, who Ik held by the New
York police for the murder of William
tiulileiisnppe, delliaililK IiIh liberty un
der I in 1 1 1 it m ii.rpiiK proceedings nml
says that the evidence against him "Is
of the flimsiest character." lie evi
dently forgets that the New York Jour
I111I already Iiiih confessed that he did
the murder.
Ill the M011IM Prof. I.oeli, of the 1111
verslty of Chicago, remarkj that "there
1m 110 reason to suppose that the cut;
contains other uiyHterloiiK complicated
structures than hiicIi iik might lie ex
pressed In the formulae of the cheinlKt,"
Now will the professor demonstrate his
theory by building a chicken In IiIh
chemical laboratory?
A dispatch from .MadlHouvUle, Ky.,
gives the deliillM of the lyuehlllK of a
licgront (hat place, and eondinlcg with
the mi he statement: "Itiinkley wax
hanged because IiIh reputation wiik not
good; but there WIIK no evidence
against h 1 111." If Kentucky Iiiih begun
to lynch those whose reputatlniiM are
bad, some of her statesmen would bet
ter take to the winhIx,
(Mie iIoch not lisik for consistency
among the fmiatlcH who (Missed the
bill In Massachusetts mliltlt Idk the
Use of feathers on women's lints, but It
would be no more than right for tliein
to follow 11 1 their efforts with another
bill making It 11 iiiUtleamcntior for Wom
en to wear the feather Imiiih w hich are
no popular, and to prohibit also the
use of the fur of the squirrel, mink,
niarleii, sen I or other animal iik n mrt
of their wearing apparel, (die U quite
uk sensible us the other.
Selections of the greatest ten books
or the greatest ten poems are iik varied
its me the persons who do the select
ln.'. but llllss Cai-inan, the ('1111111II1111
poet, has picked out as the greatest tell
lyrical poems In F.ngllsh 1 1 1 v following
"A Northern Vigil" "A Spring Song,"
"The Mooiidlnl," "At the liraulte
(late." "The Cavedlgger. lite Nan
cy'K Pride," "The Ited Wolf." "ltehlinl
the Anas, 'he Last Watch" ami "In
a timolol. 1." would be Interesting to
know how many of the renders of to
day can tell the authors of these lyrics.
Any Boston paper can stretch an In
ference until It clin ks, due of thetii
nays that "It always pays to be polite.
Many years 11 pi, lu the course of an
rhvtloticciing nip John Tyler took a
boy lu his anus and remarked: ''Hint's
a blight little hoy.' The recipient of
that President hit compliment Is known
today us Postmaster t'etieral limy."
lly searching the records we have dis
covered that another little I my who
wax kissed by President Tyler on the
Fame occasion was lymin-.l several
years Inter for stealing a mule lu Ar
kansas. Still, It ninny pays to be po
lite, anyway.
As an outcome of the old wars and
dilVereiiccs III South America all diplo
matic 1'tiullolis between llruall and Co
lombia and l'Vliador were severed
twenty seven years ago, and none of
these countries has since tieen rvprc
MMiied at the capital of the other by a
minister. The governments have come
to the coiicIiihIoii il.nt IhU foolish state
of nlf alrx has la sled long enough, and
I'.ruxll has scut a sH'clal envoy to re
ikji lonolliitioiis and put mutters upon
the usual footing. South American
pride has sloixl till now In the way of
such n compromise, but Knull hax tak
en the Initiative mid undoubtedly the
other couutiicK will meet It at least half
v ay. I ilplomacy beats w ar every time.
One reason for the superiority of the
Alio rlcn n over the foreign sailor Ik that
the loriuer Is so ulck to think and ho
prompt to act. It is not claimed, for
example, that the American h braver
than the KiigHshtiinu, but It Ih assert
ed that the America lis are livelier 011
their feet and far quicker to act lu
emergency. This Ik especially true of
kiIIoih from New Flight nd and from
the lakes. Such men rcpnscnt the
test type of sailor to he found III the
World lo-ilay. Colisenuently, lu seek
ing to till the naval service with Ameri
cans as cnlls-tcd men, the secretary of
the navy department Ih acting directly
for the Int. rest nml the good of the
nervlce.
The Intention of a Uriu lu Columbln,
P. ('.. to build a cotton mill and run It
by i.clto lalxir exclusively Iiiih raised
a ni'iil! storm of protest from vnrlotii
Wui'.it. The right of th Orui to carry
out It Intention li not disputed and do
threnti re tnade that the projct will
be Interfered with, now or after the
mill In In operation, but It li Intimated
that the experiment In a risky one nml
that the people of the South would
rather It were not tried. Condition of
labor In the South are 110 more Ideal
than tlKwe of any other part of the
country, and It would eetn a though
an attempt to chntiKe the character of
the cotton mill lalxir at Oil time would
be (lanceroii from Una mini a well a
other KlandKlntN.
The death of Mr. Aldiich, of Sun
I'h-KO, Cal., retiiovex another of the
few remalnlnu women who are wid
ow of revolutionary soldiers. A few
year bko there were 110 Ich than thir
teen Niich Ntlll alive and drawing -n-kIoiih
from the Koveriimeiit. Now there
lire but six, and It cannot lx long lx
fore the Inst one Ik gone, for they are,
of course, all very old. Mr. Ahlrlch
wax Ixii-n lu Imixi, or not till eighteen
years nfter the British evacuated New
York. Her husband wax, therefore, at
least forty year her nculor at the time
of her murrlage. It Is only Milch a dis
crepancy of lines which would penult
a woman whose husband wax one of
the original patriot to survive to this
late day.
A police magistrate In New York ha
rebuked a newspaper n ix.rtcr for ni
pearlng lu court clad in kulekerlHicker
mid a sweater. Even a common regard
for the dignity of Justice would pre
elude the possibility of a gentleman ap
pearing In court III such a costume, and
public opinion will uphold the magis
trate In IiIh action. Tor a long Jaunt In
the country or a holiday outing the at
tire referred to would be proper, but tin
one Iiiih a right to wear It Into a court
room nny more than he would to go
there attired In 11 hnthrole or pyjamas.
It Ih distinctly moires uniform, ami
the Instlin-tx of a gentleman will keep
him from nps-arlng lu It at places
w here the cost nine Ih Inappropriate. It
lx Inappropriate In a courtroom, at
church, at tinnier, at dinner, and In the
ordinary transactions of business or
the functions of social life. It lx ills-tliu-tly
fatigue dress, to be assumed
only when the wearer I out for pleas
lire. There met In Huston a convent Ion of
those ipieer people, the stump collect
orx. Those who Im IIcvc that the col
lection of slumps lx coutlucd to a few
miioollioyx 111 each large city are very
wide of the mark. There ure in this
country alone not less thau otxi.imti
such collectors and a good propo.ilon
of them are grown men. The amount
of money Invested lu the business of
collection of stumps runs away up into
the million, and some collections have
been wild for ax much ns f Jotiuiti. lu
all large el I Ich there are stamp iikkocIii
tlonx, mid In mime of them actually
clearing houses for the settlement of
tin 1 Ich. Many men make very good
livings out of the Mile of rare stamps,
and there an1 no shrewder traders any
where than those who buy 'and sell
these artlch'H. The stamp men have
their Joitrcals, and a considerable lit
erature hax grown up alxiut the busi
ness. The annual mei-tliigH are of great
Interest to the members and the pro
ceedings furnish to outsider an exam
ple of how small a thing will take up
the time and attention of a certain
class.
The authorities are preparing to
make of ('renter NVw York a paradise
of peace, tUlet mid safety. It will not
Is- their fault If In the near future the
deafening noise which now alfrlglitx
the ear of the Jay from the west and
even Iiiih begun to disturb the native
of .Manhattan Is not hushed to the calm
of a summer morning In the country.
The chief of police has Issued orders
to his force that the members must
hereafter see to It that all city laws
concerning the suppression of noise
In the Interdicted hours are fully en
forced. No more may peddlers cry
their wares or merchandise 011 Sunday
or Is'fore N a. in. or after It 11. m. Nor
may they at any time do so within 'J.'iO
feet of any Hchoolhouse, court house,
church, hospital or place of that sort.
The watch dog must also hush his
bark, holiest or otherwise, and rats
with amatory tendencies must either
restrain themselves or go beyond the
city precincts. Kinging ami tolling of
large bells Is also strictly prohibited.
Not content with thus conserving the
health of ellir.ens, the authorities pro
pose to go further and to make war
upon all smells and odors w hich offend
the sense and endanger life. These
olVeiises will lie tracked to their lair
mid pulled tip by the roots. "Iicath's
Curve," lit Broadway and llth street,
w here the cable wax wont to feed upon
a human victim every day, Is to Ih
straightened our, and It will be his
Mlble for a blind man to cross there un
aided at any hour of the day or night.
Hut that Is not all. Cub fares are to 1st
cheaper. This Is authentic. After all
these reforms tire accomplished New
York will U Inhabitable by rational
persons. A holy calm will pervade the
whole consolidated municipality, for
the only sound which will break the
stillness will be that of the angioma
lilac' raiment a ho walks up Bivnd
w ay.
KtrmtKK ( Molt hhc jr of Mex can.
Thursday evening as the express
train of the Mexican Central was ap
proaching this city, the engineer ob
served an Indian shepherd lying m the
track. The engineer whlsthsl tlve or
six tlnn.s, but the man would not get
up, and It was Impossible to stop the
engine In time. The pilot of the loco
motive st 1 tick the head of the prtvstmte
mail and rolled I1I111 dowu the embank
ment. When the train wax stopped and the
conductor and some of the passengers
alighted to look to the man It wax found
that, though he had sutTered a rather
even scalp wound, he wa not danger
ously Injured. He wn able to sit up
while his head was Is'iiud with his
wife' relmo, Some of the passenger
wanted to bring lu the Indian to be at
tend.sl to at one of the police stations
of the city, but he absolutely refused,
and, getting up, he walked without dif
ficulty with lit wife to a neighboring
hacienda, w hen- he I 1 mploycd.
He ould give no explanation a to
why he had refused to move from the
track when he heard the train approaching.-
Mexican Herald.
Every one U-llevea he doc uot "gvt
the credit" be deterre.
THE TALE OF A KISS,
And "Shall I kit you?" then be aked,
And "Oh, I f um not," ht replied;
For rather than bare ald bin. yea,
Thl 1 :nhlen would hive died.
For nxdct wa thl maiden fir.
And ir.-eet, and witching, too, wa be.
lie might have kuowu be would not
kirnut
The boon lie craved, ob, fuoliab be!
For, bad he kissed her on the ly,
She'd tint bate more thau killed him
tle-re;
And, oh, 'twere heaven to die for her,
The inxiilen with the nut-brown buir.
And unectest It the atolen ki.
Methlnk the maiden bad uot wept.
But would have luyde that young man
give
Her buck that kins before he dept.
And now I've told lid little tale.
Ye fellow all, take heed of thia:
Iion't k a maiden if yon my,
But lr you want to take a kin.
ft lea (ilohe.
THE HONOR A BLE ANNE
Ah Oltig' welcome when I came, a
bride, ti the ranch wa not of the
warmest. Thedusky ndolie wall, throw
ing him Into ii(lures,iie relief, he Htood
ou the ranch house veranda, hi face
full of xupprcHHtsI excitement.
"You telle me," he muttered, "who
bosx, now Mr. Allandnle get mnlllcd?"
"All same a before," wa my ready
rejoinder.
The crafty feature relaxed and Ah
(ilng disappeared kltcheuward, hi pig
tall having struck the dominant note lu
my llrst Impressions of Vmpicro Water.
Cedrlc mulled at me approvingly.
"(;lad you were ho diplomatic, else
he'd have left by the morning atage.
It' awfully uiirommitlc, but the drive
ha made me !x-nstly hungry. I-et'
oe what the old chap has for us."
We illtiisl In a long, low room, hung
with spurs mid skirling print, souven
irs of English day, the happiest couple
lu California.
In lis lack of excitement, ranch life
proved disappointing. Lynching were
uukiiown-bandltx and desperadoes
conspicuous by their absence.
So life tlowed on, smoothly, monoton
ously, III) after the birth of Bllllklns.
Ah (ilng then announced hi departure.
"Better girl cook," he declared. "No
Ilkee baby. Heap tloiible. Alle time
eljr."
The next eelextlal left nfter a hasty
gh e at the kitchen wall. "Me fluid,"
he exclaimed, pointing 1u a red hiero
glyphic unfortunately unnoticed by us.
"Ah (ling he write, 'Hebhll lu thl
bouse.' "
"He meant the baby," suggested
Cedrlc.
"He any debbll. Me ga. No China
toy Htay here. Heap Beared of debbll."
"Try a girl," Implored (Ydrlc, "If
no Joke driving ten mile a day to the
Htatlon."
We tried. Ill turn: (iretehen, who left
wHhln a week to "learn religion;"
Bridget, w ho declined working under
au Englishman; the widow, whose
tears, ax she recounted her' woes, six
tied over the stove; Hide, who disliked
low wages, though she found no fault
with me; mid Sainantha, who objected
to the lack of "scenery." f Helena to
ixiliit out the Brush Hills' mellow
charm, distant nionulalns. oak-dotted
meadows, Sainantha reinalnisl obdur
ate. "It may suit you, Mrs. Allandale,"
he commented pityingly, "to see noth
ing but laud. 1 like It like It wax In
Tulare. There you kin nee houses ns
peax In a hm1 an' people pnsslu' nil day
That' the scenery for me, ho I guess
I'll nck my freight."
Which she proceeded to do, ami had
barely driven out of night when a
young girl, tall, si I in nml neatly dress
ed, stepped 011 the veranda.
"If you please, ma'am," she qulctlv
aid, "1 heard that you wanted a girl.
Call I have the place?"
I heard her history, which was sim
ple. The previous year she hail come
from England to Join her brother on a
claim, had fallen 111, had gone to the
county hospital at I .a lluerta, and had
come thence to me. While hearing
these details Cedrlc n turned. But one
conclusion could lie drawn from his
utter dejection. "No girl" was stampisl
on every feature. Kamautha had rec
ommended me to Odessa (! recti, w ho
less exacting in regard to scenery, wax
willing to leave the family pig pen for
a mouths charge, provided the wash
ing was put out, Mrs. Allandale hels-d
.i.i. .1. . 11 .l . . .,. .
won ine oisiies, 1 ue niieruooiis were
free and a horse every Sunday whs at
her disposal. I knew the type Ignor
ant, slatternly, rainlllar. Contrasting
with It the new comer, my resolution
w ax taken. "No, Cedrlc, I have a erv-
ant already."
"Where did she come from?' '
"l.n lluerta, where she ha been lu
the hospital."
"Is she prvty?"
'That In an Irrelevant uucstlon. Yen.
rather-blue eyes, and short, curly yel
low hair."
"You know nothing atsuit her."
"But I know that Bllllklna has the
whooping cough. I must nurse him,
and you cannot cook. Help I needed,
and lichold Anne,"
"So that' her name."
"Yen; Anne James,"
He still demurred.
'Trudetieo Ih an admirable virtue.
Cedrlc, but yon carry it to an extreme."
Cedrlc yielded, still holding to hi
own opinion. "Keep her! Keep her!"
he cried; "but remember, If anything
happens, be It on your head."
Since the day of Ah (ling f im,j
not been worth living. Anne came, and
comfort followed her. Capable, retir
ing, a vague cnse of mystery pervad
ing her, she proied In our monotonous
existence a source of inexhaustible In
terest. "I hiviii a romance," Cedrlc declared.
"When Anne draw near tlud out about
her."
"She Is so retleent-a eorrtraxt to Sa
mniitha." "Teach her something. Learning uu
hs'ks a woman's tongue."
So Anne waa Instructed In more
house Ifely mysteries, and grew more
communicative. But Cedrlc received
all details of her past with scornful In
credulity. -I'apa" wa a barrister.
Anne herself had been Uru In the na
otvd precinct of (he Temple. Their
crest figured a a dove. "Fancy one's
parlor maid having a crest!" he ejacu-
latlHl. For a tlHetlea Ivarrlutuv ), I... I
done singularly well, marrying a ulece I
of the celebrated CounteM of Melllgan.
Many a torrid afternoon wa wbi cd
way with dpscrlptlona of the inn
caatle where the wedding took place,
the beauty of the bride, the eccemrlc -tie
of the noble aunt. Cedrlc scoffed,
atlll crying for more.
One languorous September day, en
aconced In the veranda' shadiest nook,
we gazed on the Brush hill aud sighed
v. li.lv tr l.pecze. Cedrlc broke the
atlllue. "What about Anne? No
new of late?"
"She liaa a sister who Uvea In France
and I iosesed of ludeiieuueui
mean."
A look of reproach shot from hi
dark blue eye. "You (old me that last
week." be murmured.
"And did not tell you that she goes
bjr tho name of Lady Emily Brown
"Iirowu! Why, she marrh'd a French
man."
"True."
"Why, lady? What title hnx lie?"
"None. I particularly asked Anne.
"Absurd! He could not be 'Brown or
Hhe 'lady' unless, Ind I, the title lx In
her own right. In that case your pearl
ot a handmaiden Is an 'honorable!' The
Honorable Anne brings out the tray,
he added, as she npproiiehed our cor
ner. "So. If all false, you may de
pend tijHin M. Ask McPherson w hat he
think of It; he Is coming up the drive.
Fergus Meliiersoii caution personi
fied onlncd that Anne had lied. He
put It plainly: 'leceltful In sp h. de
ceitful 111 deed. Better wnl. h her. Mr.
Allandale."
My suspicions were not excited. In
California nothing Is Impossible. Had
not u scion of a lordly house died on n
nelghlNirlng ranch a lonely, neglcrted
sheep herder? No. It wax the nnensy
air ami restless look Increasing day by
day. I heartily wished for some pre
text whereby Cedrlc, dispatched Into
La lluerta. might Imiulre Into the ante
cedents of the Hororablu Anne.
Chance favored me.
"Mcl'herson hn lieen telling me," be
pan my spouse, a few days later, "about
some bloodhounds In town that belong
to the sheriff. They are Al at tracking
criminals borrow them all over the
Slate. Beastly shame It's such a Jour
neyIt would be rather Jolly to ace
them."
"Why not go? A change would do
you goisl."
"Co! And who would milk the cow?"
"I, myself."
"You? Nonsense!"
"Who lx (he sheriff?" I Idly asked.
meditating my next move the while,
"Wnlte-Hiram Walte."
"Our Honorable." who had entered.
bearing that ranch stand by, a smok
lug bowl of "mush," started, growing
visibly pah fresh food for uneasiness.
Clearly to learn the art of milking was
Imperative. The woman won, as usu
al, and Cedrlc, lie fore the week was
over, started for Lit lluerta, whli strict
Injunctions to interview both hospital
superintendent nml sheriff.
In charge of the ranch were myself,
Itllliklns. and the Honorable Anne, f 11-
evenlfnlly passed the llrst few days;
but on Monday, from the veranda, I
espied a band of men, who, leaving the
county road, came slowly up (he drive.
Anne, MTcelvlng them, grew w hlte to
the lips, and, bearing Bllllklns, precipi
tately tied.
"(iood evening," the leader began, ns
he lifted his sombrero. "We're kinder
rough sight for a lady. You see, we're
a posse over fjjun Tulare, trying to
nml 11 man named Smith. Ills trucks,
they seemed to pint this way. Ain't
seen any- h ranger round here lately?"
"No, Indeed."
"No woisliiiopper tmr nothing?"
"No, none. What has this mail done?
What doe he look like?"
"Ileal tih-e and young and kind. Not
niore'n n boy. Murdered n man over
there. Here's his description." and he
handed me n coarsely printed "re
ward." "Well, boys, get 11 move on.
We're on our way to Ln lluerta." he
added, "to liorrow Wa lie's dogs. Well,
good day, ma'am. Better not harbor
nny strangers."
A moment more. and. left alone, I
thought over the situation, Cedrlc
gone, no neighbor near, a murderer at
large whose steps "piuted this way."
Suddenly It was borne lu upon mo that
Anne was the fugitive!
A tlrm believer In woman's Intui
tions, yet hoping desperately that mine
wis at fault, 1 unfolded the paper the
sheriff gave me. It tallied well. Mo
rosencss, agitation, all were explained.
Did Anne guess that her Identity was
known, my life, I feared, would pay
the penalty. To Ignore the situation,
live through the night if possible, and
trust to someone turning up In the
morning was all (hat could be done.
Milking time brought fresh terrors.
How guard one's self. wHh both hands
engaged letting down Hoods of warm.
Innocent milk! Pinner was eaten hur
riedly, with the same feeling of unensl
uess. Bllllklns tuckisl in his eiii,, Anne
retired early, and. eery sense on the
alert, I was left alone to watch the
nursery door.
It fascinated me. Who would oieu
It? Aune, to hide nuioiig tho canyons
till (he posse had returned to Its Tulare
home? Or Henry Smith, to make au
end of me mid tlee? Truly, the ranch
monotony was broken at last. Solemn
ly the chx'k ticked, slowly tin. baud
went round, nn hour passed. A move
ment In the adjoining room, 11 ml liter
ally my blood ran cold. That had hlth-
erto seemed a mere tlgure of speech.
The sound ceased, and still I watched
the nursery door. At last, when my
brain would have turned with more. I
heard a sound which, falut at llrst,
grew louder and louder.
"th, heaven," I cried, "the blood
hounds!" and fell senseless to the
ground.
Slowly returned to consciousness, tnv
gaxe fell on Oniric, the I -a lluerta sher
iff, and Anne-Anne anxiously apply
ing restoratives!
Take him away," I gasped; "he will
murder us."
"You are raving!" cried Cedrlc; "that
Is Anne."
No; Smith, the murderer. The blood
hound tracked hlm to the very door."
Her I lira in Walte thought tit to In
terpose.
tJuess I can straighten out this kink.
Mrs. Allandale. You did hear the
hounds; they're up at the barn now.
Your husband, he heard at Iji lluerta
we was hcatlu' up thl part of (he coun
try. o he lit out for home, thinkin'
you'd be scared. We caught our man
hldln' by the 'IVbe hill, and the Tulare
boys timk hl:u hack to town. Your hus
band and me wa tired, so we mad j
I trick for here. Sorry 'bout the dog
Might ha' known they u seme , ...
1 . .1.... e usrnlng. "If yoO
Anne ui u"j " - ., , ,
I please, ma'am, you and Mr AIlnDdalt
hnve been very muu. ami -
Bllllklns like my own, but I cm t stay
where I've been so misjudged.
"More candor on your part would
have preveuted your Mug misjudged.
She blushed. "1 often WUIlted to tell
you, u.a'am-what I first said wasn t
true. I came from England when 1
was a baby. I haven't any brother, aud
I never went to La lluerta."
" h!"
"The kinder you was. ma'am, the
meatier I felt, and I wax afraid Mr.
Allandale would go to the hoHpita .
and, worst of all, my h'-art stood still
w hen he spoke of Mr. Walte. l or he
ami my stepfather are sins, nml 1
wax afraid he would guess who I wax.
"Your stepfather?"
"Yes, ma'am; mother married Jim
Wuite the second time, and It was hlm
that came with the posse and frighten-
,., He was such n bad. cruel man
that I couldn't stand It. so I wny."
"How did you happen to reach Na
quero Water?"
"With some friends In one of those
big wagons they call 'prairie schoon
ers Tulare folks go to the coast every
vear. but they don't go there straight;
it's too much change. They always
stop at the Iron springs to cool off
first."
To cool off lit IM) in the shade!
"So we came to the spring. I heard
about you and thought I'd try for the
place."
"But how much better to have told
hip the truth."
"1 kuew Mr. Allandale was English,
nin'am. and they are that particular I
was afraid he'd send me home."
"Surely the mory of Lady Emily
Brown was unnecessary."
Anne's eyes flashed. "It's every
word true, ma'am. Not that I ever
her: she was by father's first mar
riage, but It's true. Why. they lived
In a beautiful house In St. John's Wood,
ami the night before they went to Far
Is (he Prince of Wales dined with
them."
"And do you believe It, my denr?"
asked Cedrlc, 011 henrlng the last ver
sion. "She Isdleves In the family tradi
tions, but she will care less about such
nonsense when she la Mrs. Hlruiu
Wnlte."
"Why, she met the man only last
night."
"Something will come of It, trust a
woman's lutiiltiou."
"Thanks, no!" he ntorted. with a
cheerful grin. "No telling Into what
mare's nest I might be led. Never mind,
darling, you did your best. We can't
all be born detectives."
Cedrlc to the contrary, my prophecy
came to puss, and our honorable Anne
was transformed luto Mrs. Hiram
Waite. At last accounts she was well
and happy, supplying the boarders at
Walte's Hotel with meals at "four-bits
a head." While we on the ranch arc
still wondering whether the Countess
of Melllgan mid the Uidy Emily
Brown lire myths. Sau Francisco Ar
gonaut. The I. too Uot Loose.
In the early part of this century Knld
Malinon, 11 governor of Tangier, was
taklni! a ioiirnev thither. canvliiL' a
large lion in a cage borne by four mules
as a present from the Sultan to the
Kim; of I'ortuiral. One evenliii;. after
the tents had been pitched mid Kald
Malmon was resting on a divan in his
pavilion, he heard a neighing of hors
es, and then a trampling and stampede
of the animals tethered outside. He
chipped Ids hands to summon the at
tendants, nut ror a few moments no
one came, lhen appeared his prison
er, the Hon, glaring tlercely as he ap
proached.
Kald M. 1 1 111011 was a very courageous
man. and while the lion was advanc
ing there was time to think of many
things. It was of no use to draw his
sword; and moreover, If he should suc
ceed In killing the lion, the Sultan
would probably cut off his own head
lu return. So he sat perfectly still, and
addressed the creature by the name
which had been given hlm.
'You are a brave fellow. Maimon."
said he, "to leave your cage mid take
11 walk this tine evening, o Judicious
and well behaved lion, you do well to
enjoy yourself:" For the creature.
pleas.-d with the Knld's voice, had be
gun to roll upon the carpet. "O brav
est ami most trustworthy!"
And now the lion had risen, rubbed
himself catlike against his host, and
lain down with his head upon the
Kald s knee.
Brave though he was, the Kald shud
dered, and the perspiration of fear
broke out upon hlm. Not a sound wns
to Ik- heard lu the camp, save the terrl-
ueii neigii or a horse which had not
been able to escape with the others.
and which ntlll seen led the lion.
Malmon woke, stretched himself, nml
put out his long, terrible claws. He
stalked toward the door, lashing his
11111. .i us urst movement the Kald s
turban was knocked off, and lu replac
ing It he muttered to himself:
i hope this visit Is coinlnur to nn
end! May It lie the hist of tl... kin.i 1
shall ever receive!"
The horse, meantime, had nueee,.it...l
lu galloping away, nud the lion hmk
at once Into pursuit. He overtook hi
victim lu two IkhuhIs. nml laid hi 111 lllVV
wlth lacerated side aud bleeding
throat. While he was thus engaged,
the Kald escaped from the back of his
tent and managed to summon his men,
who, half a mile away, were huddled
logetner with the homes and mules.
"The nrst mnn who ruus away
again." said he, "I will liastlnado till
the breath Is out of his body!"
And no oue attempted to run. For
though remaining might mean death !
the bastinado was a horrible certainty' i
So they waited until the lion lm.t I
ed himself Into sleepiness, aud then
cautiously recaptured him.
IU t'a Innocence.
Bet Flint, a humble friend of pr
Johnson, w as taken up on a charge of1
steal'tig a counterpane she was tried
at the OU Bailey, and Chief Juxtk-y
W!llc, who had a kindles fr mr
summed up favorably, and she was ac
quitted. After which IM said wiUi a
gay ami sntlsued air: "Now that the
counterpane Is my on I hau 1!lkp
a iK'ttlcoat of It."
.. o " l:".for"",,,e ,,hr'.
I olitl,ian-I alway, boia Up Anierl
can Industrie.
SUiulek-For how much? Puck.
v i
4
To
renorter who recently
nsked
hlm to take part lu a symposium on
How to Make Money." Phil Armour,
the Chicago millionaire, replied: "011ug
man. put It down that the Armour
don't know how to make anything but
sausage, and that they uever answer
fool (piestlolts."
A crusty old farmer In Southern Illi
nois one day became an unwilling host
for three clrcult-rldlng preachers who
,1 IV. 1. 1 11. 1! Ill simultaneously for dinner.
The larder wax low, and the dinner
sliiL'le fowl. The farmer
asked the tlrnt sky-pilot what portion
of the chicken he would have. "A leg.
said No. 1. "Another leg. thank you.
rciiucxfed No. 1'. "And what will you
have?" askiil the farmer, turning to
No. X "I will nlso take a leg. If you
please." replhil the third. With nn
ejaculation that shm-ked Ills reverend
guests, the farmer threw dowu hlx
carving utensils nud demanded to
know what sort of 11 "crlttur" they
thought he was caning. "Thlx Is n
two-I.-gged chicken," he shouted; "not
a centipede."
The closing of the Cafe de Madrid,
for a long time a favorite resort for
Parisian men of letters, recalls a cou
ple of miecdotcs to (he Bookman's
Parlx correspondent: Proth wax one
day passing the cafe arm In arm with
poor Paul Arctic. Arctic wax going In,
nml urged hlm to do the same. Proth
resisted, saying there were too ninny
quarrelx in that cafe, only people with
hot tempers, etc. At last he yielded,
ami, live minutes nfter being seated, In
n heated discussion shipped his contra
dictor's face. "You see," he said to
Paul Arctic, "Is it not an Impossible
cafe?" The time of the second story
was the hist years of the reign of Na
poleon 111. Clement Puvernolx, who
had Just passed from the Kcptlbllcatl
Into the Bonnpiirtlst camp, was urging
a friend of hls-n man whom he Judged
to be amenable to the same nrgumelitx
that had convinced hlm-to follow hlx
example. "But," the friend objected,
"what will my friends say?" "Oh,"
Puvernolx retorted, "you will only
have to change your cafe!"
f nder orders existing some time ago
men In the Certnan army wore at will
either socks or Fusz-luppeii (a species
af bandage) on their feet. During an
Inspection a certain general nsked a
subaltei u otllcer what his men wore on
their feet. He replied that some wore
socks ami some lappen about 70 per
cent, socks. The general further asked
hlm If he knew what each Individual
wore. He answered promptly lu the
nftirinatlve. "What," an id the general.
poItHlng to a mail In the ranks, "does
this man wear?" "Socks," wns the re
sponse; and 011 the mat) taking off a
boot on the general's order a sock wax
found to Incase the foot. The same test
applied in several cases produced the
same result. The general wax highly
Impressed with the Intimate knowl
edge of detail displayed by the subnl
tern, but (he lad disclosed subsequent
ly to his brother otllcerx the simple de
vice which procunsl hlm such kudos.
His men. by his order, had all n sock on
one foot nml n Pusz-hippcn 011 the oth
er. They were Instructed to note care
fully the answer given by their otllcer,
mid to remove the limit which would
disclose a verification of his nssertlon.
A serlons-nia nnered Irish member
limned Blake 1 relates Henry W. Lucy
in (he July North American Review) Is
remembered for n brief correspondence
he read to the delighted House. It wax
Introduced In a speech delivered In de
bate on the Irish Sunday-closing bill.
Mr. Blake had. he coiitldentially In
formed the House, an uncle who regu
larly took six tumblers of whisky tod
dy dally. This troubled hlm, and' after
much thought he resolved to write nud
remonstrate Willi his relative. The fol
lowing was the letter: "My Pear I'ncle:
1 write to say how pleased I should be
If you could see your w ay to giving up
your six glasses of whisky a day. I am
sure you would Had many advantages
III doing so, the greatest of which
would be that, as I am persuaded, it
would be the means of lengthening
your days." The uncle replied: "My
Pear Nephew: I am much obliged to
you for your dutiful letter. I wax so
much struck by what you sald.'mid. In
particular, by your kind wish to length
en my days, that last Friday I gave up
the whisky. I believe you are right,
my boy. as to my days being lengthen
ed, for iH'dad! it was the longest day I
ever remember."
A Needed Correction.
At a recent gathering of the pio
neers of Spokane, Wash., some stories
were told of the ancient history of the
place which dates back to the remote
epoch of ISTti. mie of them related to
the llrst stand made against Illiteracy
In the settlement.
Mr. Hyde was marshal of the tow n,
and Mr. (iilllam wns ili.om,-i,.,..ht
V "i" . 01 .
Ihe marshal Impounded a stray bull,
nun poi up mis puntic notice:
"I have this day Impounded one rend
bull. Owner will' nh llttn null unit 1.1...
charges mid get the bull."
Ihe deputy-sheriff, who Is said to
have been nn opiionent of the marshal,
came along and read the notice, with
Its mis-spelled word.
"It Is a dlsgntce to the town that
such Illiteracy should appear In a pub-
.. ..... uoieiii. ne sain. Then, exercis
ing the authority of the county, he
tore down the notice, and substituted
the following in Its place:
"1 have this day Impounded one red
Ihm.I. Owner will please call, pay
charges, and get the bool."
This "ImhiI" ought to become a classic
in the history of Simkane.
The Fighting Cadet.
Admiral Jouett-uow ou the retired
bst of tl. nvy am, f.lmIlarlv klU(WU
s "l ighting Jlmniy"-wa8 acting sec
retary of the navy once w hen the com
mandant of the academy at Aunaixills
came over and retried that he had
been compelled to discipline a cadet
who had behaved In a nnt unacunt
able manner aud had disgraced the
anidemy. the department, the govern
"'" l all civilization. He then pro
ceeded to relate how ,1,8 cadet, when
P ss .. through ,he lower regions of
the of Amnions had somehow
lies 17, I''1" , T" lDVOlV1 lD h0s"11-
'1 a tough citizen and proceeded
to pollah hiu, off. The frletid. 07 the
ne 01 mem ,u u e
nearly hammered ". Ud
hlm. .He wns in n. "'"t
authorities, ami n ..
the academy Ml) .k'
un .srerr.,1 , . ,, - 7
order that he mi.i. . ' "u,1nu .
ed and piinl
"i ne rf.iiM .
bhed. 'anMr
"Court-miirCiii
11,... . ..
Jottett. "I.lekeil ... . fa..
1 if.
pollociiun; not - . . J"'1 M
lKnt. wlil,,. oidjl,;,
1 he boy ought to haven ,?H
''"k"ty bh,kety r1"- i
Ing down there. BI1V, .'""n
pose the Hover!,,,,',.,,, f
Slate, hired you .,,,,,,;, "f
to play HjrH-uiitj.
tLECTTicrrvr"
The IW of HcamL,
"Win loacio,.
While there may
tint, lu the state,,,,.,,,, ? m
pout Morgan's pi,,,,, ,. ,,u 1 f
tl.ui of electric or " ,"""-
rallwav. In .i.i..i " '"'N
. . " '' nan 1
" crext. yet the n,,,,,, trtt
story are niiil,,ni.....o- k
first xtopx are so,,,, p, r
t" extinction of .l,es, nt
The men who lm. ,J n
yearxto solve the ,.r,.i .
Ollllc use r ,.1
for steam have Ih,.,, siicf
They have reached n ..,.i. .7"
'"''lc to show that henry ,!,,'!
w moved at a s, ,)f p,,
Lour .and that the eo of
and the exnense of i
operation will be i..M ,mu f
roads.
The moment that can be .w,
r,lfia if II... .... ... 1
...... ... .,- nit-inn IIK-otlltiVe Is -U
For the maiii.L'era ..f ..u.. . . ..
, , - ' "oiiunui
turn their bucks nn . ...,"
cheaper power and reduced okh,
expenses. That will gve hm J
dividends, with none of that di,
faction which would follow an ln.m.
11. menus uue in nu advance lnn!v
Aa has been statist i,r..ri .,
New ork. New Haven ami
Rond. which has L'.ihk) uille. of lrii
Is now making arrntigeuieuta tut ;
adoption of the "third ran- ,flH
The siccIllcatlons have already' b
prepared. It was Hinted n ,
dispatch that other road
follow suit Hiiecdily. They hate, 1,
asserted, a mileage of K.tan i.
and extend from Maine toOrvm
one direction and Florida, and U
slppl In another.
The cost of electrical equipment !
tnese roads Is put down at
Ions. The work is to be done bj (t
i.enorui i.iectric Company. In aw
Mr. Morgan is Ititcresttil, aud. hi
said, S3 per cent, or the sum paid It
equipment will stay with Mr. llurrm
manufacturing company u In pp..
Therefore It will be cre:itlv to hit W.
vantage to have the minis with ltd
he Is connected droit sieiini and ukri
electricity
In all probability, however, tiro
profits are exaggerated grviithr, m.li)
though money Is cheap at tbi tia
and can be obtained with pane Ire tilt
cut roads. It Is not likely that theterf
be nn Immediate exHmllture of X
millions bv them. Hot the minute
Ice Is broken when one nmd t
adopted electrical pnwer. and tbeu:lut
roads sw clearlv that the niluvti"!!
operating expenses mure tli;m spji
tin, l.ituri.yl 0.1 flu. until tllnr will tun
(o pay to make the changes the; tl
proceed to uixcaru mcir steam new
lives.
Belli d t' e Tune.
Perhaps It Is because almost etftj
one has some odd ways of hli en
that stories of odd people are ft
erallv Interesting. btitever the
phmutlon, It Is certainly true that
centticlty often gives a very ordlu.7
person 11 measure of local funic lint
for Instance, Is a sturckerier !"
history the Chicago Tlices-llmU
thinks It worth while to prim:
In 11 small village In Ceatifa f.
ty, Ohio, there Is a store as larp w
tvnll.Ktockoil as vou would Ml1
find In 11 suburban town. It l t$-
tlmt Is precisely the wonl-by
ho has no relative In ttm
part of the country ami Is practlnBf
.1 hermit
ii-i. .... ..l. ll .-!ir lie";,n he
...-.i 11.- ..... ,
running a flourishing general tiw
made money rapidly during w
U'luin neart
ceeiniig 1 hiii ) cm
.1....1.......1 ,-i.... ivhleh had bertifM-
Iv Inflated, took a siidditi drop. TV
old fellow liellcved that thin""
. ., 1 1 1 ,. ..lil.li would"
loiiowcii oy 11 i"'ii.
prices skyward again, nml
sell hlx goods for less than helm""
1........ ......t ih.. nriii-"1'"
mci... .... ......
down, down-nnd finally hi bU!i
was practically at an etui.
n... ...... 1,1. st-nnls U,I
v 1 o-t.uj ...is ni"i . - .. j.
nctly ns It did thirty .vear '
stocked with such goods n "
found In country stores, bat, o
the stock la now practically wr""
F.vory day the old man oi
puice in give 11 no in.."- .
too, for business. If any
buy what he has to sell ami
to pay what he iisks. j
"Why, sir." he said to nie. - fl
the calico I've got here co'
ceiiix u 11. 1. 101. . .' - -
I lie a fool to sell It norvho
' ... ....... ..1 War.
........ 1 .1. - t'.V.I-S Skw. - '
The incs.i.g- --- .
An old New u ,
whenever the uIJ"'t''Llw.
old New Hampshire
results arising rrom ..
endeavors to contribute hi """
discussion. lrt i
He takes the occasion 'y
two verses whl.il tie "'"""; 4 I
was a
boy. Hicy "'.',,
Moore's
Almanac for " .
head of
head of "Mont my ' ;
Monthly onsen. -
lines express his opinio.. -
that he prefers tnem . " rf
niai reiunrKs 01
nlllcnnt lines run thus:
Whene'er ci.nlen.llng VJf '
. .... .r ii 11., u. -
For private pique or l"";"'!'
Armies nre mined, the He
They combat both hy nJ
When, after many l'iitH' I'!' t
Roth, tired with blo. "" r
What hVi't. after all. the is-f'' ,J
11 lly, iue, " '
debt.
Th,Tullerlc.P.'rj
Another attempt w
Pninee rebuilt Is tu w
Tuts Uuie the movement u
S.u.u.tr f, .r the Prescrvatwu
Monument.