EUGENE CITY GUARD.
tLL, Praprtatar.
IUOENE CITT.
A New York lawyer linn Im-cii over
come by gnn. lit wasn't saying u word
at tin time, cither.
A New Oilcan contemporary any
Hint "Chicago doesn't pack anything
worth while except pork." Aren't pri
maries wo rili while?
A young ninl nretty girl In M in nc-i po
ll ha been "holding lip" the ly late
ly. The new woman evince a illp
klllon to reverse thingn every w here.
A N'evty Yolk KcciilUt say tip hi
made ii ri m.ilysln of love. Some day
a dear girl with no scientific training
whatever will make a i:i m ly h:h of hut
theory.
The Kansas City Jouninl In quite
right In spirit when It say Hint "Mis
France Wllhird could Illy be spared,"
hut that word "Illy" would i-nnily be
cpnri'il without n regret.
Thieve threw a liook nnd line
tliroiiuli nn open window of a house nt
Monterey, Mexico, ninl stole tin- bed
clothe nn li-r which the owner of the.
house mux sleeping.
An Abilene (Kim.) clergyman In
prciiohlng n series, of sermon on the
general subject, "Making It Hot tr
the lli'vll." Thin would Nltiko the un
prejudiced layman un unnecessary trou
Mi. uibh c mi in I mm liluoflchln. Nlfitr-l-Kim,
stit thai the iiettiycleiied in.ivor
of thnt pliiri' "In n lawyer and Id full
name In Marks." Tin- w horeiihonts of
tin' rot or Hip "I'mie Toiii'm Ciihiu"
ti iipc nr" not given, however.
A Michigan young nnin'H mind I
n lilnlik because of cigarette smoking,
nml tin- rrport calls It n "strange ef
f tet " There I nothing strange nliont
It except Hip Imbecility of parent who
permitted Hip nlroeloii self sncrilicc.
According to Ihlltor Miinlork there
are hut four women In K.ldormlo, Kim.,
who liiiow how to rook n pot of beau
III an artistic iniinner, nml from this
fin-t he pro.eecU to point a nionil nml
rnlorn a tnle hy declaring Unit no girl In
lit to iniirry until she musters Una ac
Voiupllslllllcnt.
Some hlea or the liimfiiltinle of the
gnat Siberian railway, now In course
or roiiKtrui'tloli by the Russian govern
inent, limy he gathered from the filet
t tut t hy chiiliglng the mule a thousand
mile were saved. It la expected Hint
through trnliiM w ill he run over the rii.
within two yen in.
A Massachusetts mini Iiiih dlm-overed
Hint hy using KUUHhlne during the day
and electricity during the night he inn
mUe oeveiiil eropH of oiiloliM In one hi'ii
aoli. At the a.-inie tline It limy he up
proprliitrly reiunrkeil Hint there hn
liei n no crying di'iniind for aevernl
eropn of oiiloim In one aensoii. Mnny
ieople eould et nloliK Willi neverill wu
olm II nd one crop of oiiIoiih.
8i'vernl i:u?ton hoyn hroke up n ho
BUH "Hpli'ltuul ninli'iliillntioii Ki'linee"
reei'lilly mill expnHeil Hie friiud, ciiplur
Ini; nil the "xpook" piiriipheriinliu. The
huyii who eXpoNed thin Huludh', how
ever, hne heell lined foil apiece In po
lice court for "illHturhliiK n rcll;loiH
llU'.t I Ii IT." I'oNtoll llillhl ih'llKht In he
lutt liunihiiirueil.
The clll.i'im of Tupckll, hnvlliK tried
the Kuelpp cure for rliciiniiillxiii with
Indirfeiviit Kiiccesi, are now try Inn n
courHi of filed milt pork, which In mild
to he much more cIIIciicIouh nml plcim
anter to take. Some or Hie youiik' Indlcn
of Hint city Hud hollcd hncon nml call
hnue n plcnmiiit it 1 1 ii 1 1 it fnun the rck'
uhir courNe or trciitnieiit, with Jiini iih
Kood ivkiiIi.
It li.'in heell dlHi'overed Hint the llinr
hie plllnrn which iiiluru the rear or Hie
speaker dck III the ANneiuhly llallo'
the New Jersey Stale limine lire made
of white pine nml covered with plan
ter. The himcN are mnrhle. There nnt
nil of thcxe column, from twelve to
rmirteen liichcn In illnmeter nml ten
feet liltili- They were mipponed to he
of white mnrhle, mid the discovery hnn
made (ulle n xciikiiiIoii.
The Ameiicnu pcnniit, the "cooher
pen" ir the Smith, lu the lumirlilnn or
whl. Ii the iir.ntocrat and the plchchin
alike III d Kol.ice, In rlnlni; Into comiucr
cln I linpoi nun e mole and more every
ymr. 1 1 m ell In highly vnlucd In Ku
n pe nml fully J.'.ikmi.i'ihi woiih of the
Ii ii I m me Mill o .Mai'M'lllcn, rrnuce, fur
the ni.'iinuncture of the oil, which In
iiNcd lor toilet hoii ' and for oilier pur
poM . I'cniiul Hour In nlno extensively
lined III Ciuope for the liinkllnf of
bltild, caUi N, etc.
A New Jersey row, recently killed In
that State, wnn puNscssed of an appe
tite thnt would put to nhniue the hcM
crtoi'tM of the henlthlcnt 01.11 1. Ii or cut
aownty Hint ever lived. Ninety live
plecea of hnrdwarp were found lu her
atmnni'li upon which hf hnd freUcut
)y ruminated while clielii( the cud of
aweel nml hitter fancy. TIicnc nrtlcliM
Included eighty nulls, a lot of Heron n.
vmioun lctiiilha of wire, three lnrt;e
tmicn. nn Iron Npll.e three luchen loni;.
a padlock with key to fit, a he rtiij;.
and a ille.
ltiiNhlaim ate roud or ichitlnc Hie to
IowIiii: nuecdote ahout the t'xar when
III M.i I' My pinpoNi-d to hln future
wife: lien the joiine Crnrnwlti imp
lied the ijiii'Mlou he mild: "I'he I " in ( r
or, my father, hn commanded me to
nick you the offer of my hand and
heart." To which Princes Alu of
llie rvnponded: "And my Kwndmoth
rr, (jticcn Ylctorln, tin rommauded me
to aeei'pt the offer of your hand; your
heart I will tnke mynelf." And Hi '
the royal troth wn pIlKhtctl.
Till" IVtiivsylvanla Hnllroad Omnpnny
tin recently adnplel a new del)iti of
wsipt acoop. kuown a a tmUueel
aiiMp, hy winch It I poiwlhle to taki
ou water w hile the tra.n la ruuulni; at
the rata of ilxty or lereuiy mile an
liyur. blUi 1.' all ucr pnaaeuer
....ORKQON
locomotive and fnnt frelifht HlffltiM
hnve heell denliflied to Uulinl water
Kcriop, hut ivilh the old form of acoop
It wan iieeN.iry to slow ilown while
t.ikinu' wnter, uhllc with the Improved
ili ni'ii no time In thnx lost and more
wnier In taken -r himilred feet or
tnmli At ni-veiity mile nn hour it
h now pii-ilhle to till a H.illoil tell
ih r In nine iiecoudn.
WHY IT DiDN'T WORK.
T C PCIIUT.
SUi'J'OSIi WE SMILE.
'I he lute ('apt. Jiiine O'Knne, who
rc'intly died nt hi hoinu Heir St
Iillin, had h en III the lilt mi I of
tin- I iilicd Siaii-x for forty yinr. He
eiitcrid the navy iih a llililNhlpfiiail
from Missouri In ls.V!, nml wu on the.
veHNi-l wl.hh drought over th first
.Iiipmieni! Minister tj till routitry.
Whin the vl war hroke out all of
the i. II. i l is of hi vessel deserted and
entered the I olifeilerale navy except
hlii'M '. lie remained stenilfnst. how-I'M-r,
mid wnn placed In lommiilul or
I lie rrlL'iile llrooklyu. He w an wound
ed while running Hie rorl In-low New
Oi'lcmm, a ml wnn placed on Hie retired
list only a few week hefoic hln death.
There are some entertnliilni? plcturen
of l.fe lu '.i-lnii'toii aeveiity ywim aii
In Siraifurd t'aniilnu'n diary ami let
tern. "My predecessur," he write,
"had Krenlly the ndvuntnge over in.;
lu hln collection of K"od atorlim. I re
cord one of them to serve nn a pattern
of the rest, lie wan Hlr ('harlcn ItiiKot,
n man of wry attractive miiiiuern. Intel
ligent, witty nod kind. An Americnii
minister nml hln wife illnlui; with hi in
one day, he heard l-inly ItiiKot, who
w an at snine distance, any rnther iUm k
ly: "My dear Mm. 8 , what can you
he ilulliK'' The salmi howl had heen
offered to Mm. S , ami her arm wnn
lust III It up to the elliow. Her reply
wan prompt: '(inly rolllckliitf for an
onion, my lady.' "
A new electric locomotive of lnr'P
d'.iiiensliilis, calculated to draw trains
of dolllih' the weight of those attached
to ordiary cnlin-s at a rate of sixty
two iiiiIcm an hour, has heeu tried with
ailccenn on the Western Itallrond of
I'lame line. The first experiment, or
tills kiln! were made III ls'.i:i hetweeli
Havre mill Itcu.cvillc with nn electric
locomotive, which hehaved well
throughout the trial trip. ( )w lug to the
success or thin maiiilite the eoinpaiiy'n
I'liglneenn coiistrili'ted two larger loco
motlvcH, nml It I one or these which
ha just hen tented. It I tlf ty-scveii
reel long and or L.'l.V horse power, lu
spile or their size they wear out the
mils less than ordinary locomotives, an
the weight In ilinlrlbuted on eight axle
Insteiid or rmir or live. They are aurer
limn the other owing to their elastic
character, which enahlen them to make
curve with security nt full speed,
i i rent thing are, In fact, expected rrom
these eoiitiivancen, which, when per
reeled, will do I HI to 11. 'i mile an hour.
Among the old young men or till dec
ade io n. CiissIun M. Clay, of Kentucky,
Is conspicuous. Though he piiNcd hi
eighty sixth hlrlhday Inst Octohcr, he
still hn more vigor ami go Hum many
Hie u ipiarter of n century younger
than he. (icii. Clay Iiiih always heeu
n lighter, lie was nn ahollilloulst In
Kentucky nn far hin k n ; is:, J, mid no
one could Itiiliiiidate or Induce him to
slop his fnt' and violent dciiiiniintlon
of nn Institution which he considered
totally wrong. He printed n paper Hie
picscH of which had to he guarded hy
armed men against an olfcmlcd and
iiugry moll, lu 1MI1 he went a United
Mules Minister to Itiissln, mid he lijn
I n generally credited, ami ijultc right
ly, tisi, with having done great sect Ice
In Itillueniing l(us.sln to stand hctween
the I 111 t cil States and the threatened
alliance of the Kuropciin power to rec
ognize the Confederacy, lien. Clay, so
ns to show hln contempt for the limita
tions of age, took to himself, within
the last few years, a young girl as hi
wife, lie lives where he was Is. in, In
Madison County, Ky and wn most act
ive lu the recent political campaign.
The changes wrought lu the Tutted
State within the last century are
graphically dcNciihed hy John ltncli
McMastcr lu the Atlantic Monthly for
.latiumy. He says that a cltUeu who
wore a hadge or mourning In memory
of Washington lived nt a time wheii
our country now here touched (he tiulf
of Mexico nud nowhere crosned the
Mississippi Klvcr, nud when there,
were hut lift ecu State In the I'uloii,
none of (hem hating a population or ti
million souls, or n city ir rm.oiai In
hahltaulN. The watchman with hln
rattle nud lantern still went his rounds
nt night, i:ery cltlaeti wn required
to serve on the watch nud to keep lu
his house near the front door n number
of leathern buckets, with which lift
must hurry to any lire to which he
might he summoned by the sound of
the market or court house hell. Only
two title In the country nt that time
had waterworks. There wetv tio oui
nlhuscH or horse cam. Therv were only
seventeen dally uewpiicr. There
were no typewriter, no envelope, no
postnge stumps, no letter Ihxo, uo tel
ephone, no electric light, tu blotting
paper lu those day, and It cost a tjunr
ter to scud a letter rivm Hoatou to
Washington.
The plague now raging lu aoin por
tion of India I thought hy many phyi
hiaii to he Identical with the "black
ilcnih" which devastated Kurope and
Asia In Kit?, mid at subsequent peri
ods. Ancient writer give graphic de
scription of the frightful virulence of
thin linn go malady, It course lu Italy
being lldly dcscrlU'd hy IUkvbccIo
ami Petnirvh. In Venice more than
lov.iXH.1 people died of the til sen sc. nml
III 0)pmn nearly the whole mpu!atlou
wn ihwtivyed. while In tienoa nix sev
enth of the Inhabitant mvumted to
It fearful rat ages. At Sienna the erec
tion of the cathedral wa stopped hy
Hie plague, and It ha never siuce Ixvn
resumed. Kimiii Italy the acvurge made
lis way into rrance. Kuglaud, (iermany,
and Spain, and l salt! to hnve hecu
tarried Into Scandinavia hy a ah!p
which left London In the uuimer of
i;il!. The whole of the crew died of
the plague, and the vessel, after drift
ing alH.ut on the ts viiu for a long time,
wa cast ashore with It grew some bur
den at liergcn, and the Infection avn
apread all over Norway ami Sweden.
In Mot, scarcely a portlou or the known
world escaped the diw-jse, even entire
colonic lip In HrtvlihWd Is'ili' uhllt
erutftl, and whole In If of Ksquliuaux,
wer deatrtiyeX
An Aothorltr on Old-llm Fl(h(, bat
f'ullrd In New .-tbol.
"So you've had a fight, have you?"
a Id the old man.
The tsiy wa so hudly out or brentb
that It wu a minute or two before he
could get wind enough to aay, "Yep.'
mid somehow the old limn didn't scijd
to regard the hreiithlessiies a a par
ticularly aiispliiou omen.
"I)ld you ek him?" he nsked.
"Nit," replied the hoy, with that bril
liancy of repartee that I peculiar t
Isiyn.
"I guess you didn't follow your jssir
old father advice," said the old man.
"I suppose you thought you knew more
alsiiit It t hn n he ever had a chalice to
learil mid went lit the other fellow with
aouiH new-fangled npperciii or awing
'or something of that sort mid let hnn
got In under your guard w lille you were
figuring out the cieiniOe point of some
1 new Mow. Si leiice 1 nil right, ! sup
pose, III n fight hy rounds, where theie
have heen all the lismil prellmllia lie.
i hut I've ni-oii the time wlnii a Mi' iitllic
'lighter would get the tar licked out of
him while he wnn getting hi science
ready for use. Now, w hen I wnsa Imy
Slid I saw there was a tight coming ou I
1 alined to get In the Hrsi Mow."
'Thut'a my way," mild the loy.
I "It In. cli 7" returned the old man.
"Well, I don't see how a lny call get
licked If he goe III on that system, un-li-sn
he' too easy with the first blow.
I tell you when I wnn n loy." nml the
old man began to get excited, "my aim
! wu lo swipe Ii I in first mid swipe hllil
hard. I'd Just laud him one over the
eye or under the chin mid It would he
nil over. You see, when you paste a
' fellow In the enryoii want to paste lilui
i a hot one, mid then "
I "And then suppose he land on a
i htlck plle7" Interrupted the hoy.
"W-w hnt7" asked the old mini, rnther
startled.
"Siipiose lie laud on n brick pile
when you hit him and get up with a
half a luick In each hand, what' the
;iiext move In the system that never
falhKl when you were a boy 7"
j "My Imy," said the old iniin, severely,
after a minute of thoughtful, culm con
tlderutlon of the subject, "fighting I a
had business nt best, mid I am Mir-
, prised that you should cxpi-ct your
father to give you nilvlee that would he
sure to lend you Into trouble nml very
likely would tend toward the cultiva
tion of a boisterous, ipiarrelsome dispo
sition. Now run out mid play and don't
bother me nny more."-Chicago I'ost.
.Mcnsiirloii a 'l eer.
The hoy In the following story, bor
rowed from Itrlght Jewels. ! described
ns never saying anything rem.ii kabk
nn eating oatmeal lu large ini. unities,
, chasing the cat, slamming tie1 door,
II lift otherwise conducting himself ifier
the manner or boysr, with tue ex. 'option
that lie askn few iim-stloiM and doen
much thinking. If he docs not under
stand a thing, he whistles, w hi, li Is not
n had habit - on some occn-dnlis.
There was much whistling in our
y n 1.1 one summer. It neeiue.l lo lie nil
iill-cummer pcrfurniniice. Near iie end
of the season, however, our boy an
nounced the height or our tall maple to
be thirty-three feet.
"Why, how do you know 7" wan the
general question.
"Measured It."
"I low 7"
'Toot rule nud yardstick."
' "You didn't climb that tall tri e?" hln
mot her asked, nnvlously.
".Win; I Just found the length of the
shadow, and measured that."
"Hut the length of the J.iadow
changes."
"Yea'ui, lint lit Ice n day the shadow
lire Just ii n long ns things themselves.
I've been trying It all sumuici. I drove
n stick Into the grouni, ami win n the
shadow wan Just an long an .lie sth k I
knew that the shadow of the lie.' would
he Just as long as the lite, and lhat'n
thirty -three feet,"
"So that i.n what you have lcv:i wh.st
ling nboiit nil Minimer?"
"Hid 1 w lilstlc'.'" usked Tom.
Tim Spanish, Males.
The Hurciiii of American licpubllca
nt Washington entitled to no little
credit for Its Industry and ent.i.rNo
In collect lug mid publishing statlMhiil
handbooks of all the Spanish .American
State. There Is destined to be a much
doner connection between nil these
countries and our own In the near' fu
ture, mid the handbooks published by
the hurciiii have proved their worth hy
the demand for tlieui among mer
chant, lii.iors ami travelers desirous
of establishing closer blislm.ss rela
tion with the Spanish American
Slate. The publication now cover
the entire list of Central and South
At iciienn commies, and It In believed
their Information is ns recent nml ac
curate n could be expect, d.
11 Ougtit to Work. Iloih Wuv.
A minister once submitted an ac
count for tithe to a blacksmith, whose
exclamation. "Hut I didn't go to your
church." wn met hy the rejoinder.
"No, hut the door of my church Is ul
wnys open!"
Next day the blacksmith mihuii'tcd
nn account for shoeing to the minister.
"Ititt my homo me not shod at your
smithy'." exclaluictl ih,. mnistcr, with
some heat.
"No," wan the quiet reply, "but tha
door of Hit smithy I ulw.ivs opcu."
llostou Hu.lgct.
1 ealticr or the Ostrich.
Ostrich plume owe most of their
beauty to the skill of the dyer. 'I here
lire some varieties of the bin! which
produce plume .almost a pure white,
othci hate ftiltl.crs closely nppn l
milling a Mack, but the iiattir.il plum,
are oftciicst of a gray th color, it. t very
decided III hue. The dyeing (,f on
tiich feathers In a very exlei :e hush
lies, requiring gtvnt tact and skill, for
the material I so delicate that the
least mistake In manipulation imij ru'.a
the t nine of the plume.
I'rly lists.
Hit Is are said to have been o,rt s.vii
!ut the tear lliiii.al which time they
became of use for country wear, rol.tig
etc. K. I'aulel relate that when
Cleirh 11. made hi public cniry 1m,,
l.'oucii. In Mm, he had on a h:i n.-,
with ri velvet an. suruicuuicd vti:h a
plume of tuft of fe.v.hcr. q
If a woiunu 1 rcsilly anl,n: te Ic.irn,
he caiin.it vwlhly b arn f.isicr tl.au to
U.vu to th talk of a Joulou utuu.
.in i- ' i-
.-r u t 1 i
l,int lit"
Fom - I nt' r-si
(rest
live-eel:,. .t e;ll!, alld .-.iri-l'!-
liliyon,. ki.oits ani n-: I -s al.'.nt t.f.u-
Tin- M IIMI! el , I. I lie ' ti.'' 1 ' '
pn -II futile of i:.- Hi- Tin- yearly
production of -j Tii-- in th' ' ' '''y
lllioilt t.iis i'i ii hi; : "f '.".' I I .'1
each, the hop: of t! or In h - i
d lee. I In V.r.-io.a f,.:.r. a. i "I;
HUMOROUS PARAGRAPHS FROM
ThE COMIC PAPERS.
rie.oat Incident. Occorrlna the
WorldOttr-fr.Tlnaa.tArelhcer.
ul lo OU or Vouini-0"0 l'elcc'
lioo. (bal-.rbodj Will l-ojoy.
mid North c.ir.
bl!il!s ci.f:-'1!'
lb. ii of th" 1 -.in
the e. oi tiit ! Ii Ti
to Kurope III -'
.;ill.l Ini.liOO pi.i:ni.
to Marx'lll. . t.. b - i
'I'he larg'-t a
cri p Is kohl hy
liiaiilitle ai ' i:-I
line olate iii.-in I. aet i
h.i.i. 'I
... but .'i
Te, I
;n A
.ini"
l.tll'
i;.a.i
.f ll
III 1 1,1 . Jl
.'I pr..pr
vvoi'l 1. as
: i. all I 1 1 J - - - -
l;:e I I lO'.-ll l.v
of vv hl.-h w til
;mo ii l.
,t i,f i he Aiiierb an
.t-l te,.-S. but
by enllfei t otle. s.
ers and olhnakiT-.
oil
I f
pibrloMtii.g and
g ... ,nl ititt.' for
and butter.
I in.i I; tig. know ii n
ilM.pe. Is highly till-
I I. r.' ii ltd Is a No
ur ami u-'d a bu-
l'i aunt
for so:ii, nn. I i'
olive oil. I. ii I.
The reshlu,. fro
"peilllUt cal.e" i!
in-. I nn a i.itii''
ground Int. i in,.
man food.
The Virginia t 'li.ni g variety or pea
nut I I In- lypi.-iil Aii..rienn peanut. I'
vine ure large, with . reading branch
es, growliu: fl it on the ground and N'lir
Ing pods ou r llo ir entire length. Th
pods are large mil white. There nr
many other variolic grown lu the
other Stat.-, some of them being Up
right llllshes lllsti'inl of tines.
'1 he peanut Is sorted 111 the factory
Into four grades, the first three being
sold lo venders and the fourth sol 1 lo
fonfeetloiier for milking "hiiriied al
mond" and cheap caiulh-s. The 1".
bmi.iiini worth of peanut America ns-n
are not counted III the staple food, hut
lire en ten m nil Intertills nn a luxury.
The peniiiit In used by the planter an a
fatteiicr of hi hog.
Ill the old World millions of bushels
lire made Into oil. In which the lints are
very rich, .'!' or In per cent, of the
shelled nut being oil. It lian nn agree
able tasie, mn I more limpid than
olive oil. I'canut oil I used us a light
ing oil, but ib.es not give a very bril
liant Ihime. The peanut cake left lifter
the oil Is extracted Is sold for SMI .1 toll
III lo'iinaiiy, nml fed to the entile and
sheep. l:perlllietilH were llillde In
(iermany on nn iiruiy biscuit to he made
rrom peanut (lour, hut they were not
successful, though the Hour Is most
nourishing.
A (Jr'il 'arc
e, am wr.tingn Pl-iy M
fall t., Is-a g-.-.t s.i-"-. :'il'"Mr-
-What in i'n ' i.i.-f feature-'
"In the la-t net t! ::.e.rn "In.
tlls perpetrated all the clo-stnili d.e
I uii'-erable .l:l,"-V.U C-ron-
I, li-Telegraph.
1 1n-re V ns 'nine No e.
".,' fwl.tt is a:', li.at ti"" 1" 5tl(?
nix', ;;.'" a-!:-d Mr-, o'llotilihur.
-Sure. 1,'ti,.;'sl'..t a -mash l. "f
New Yearn r a..!....:! 'tis." re,.l!e: Mrn.
M. M.ill.g in -r.ttshur,' Chronicle-1 cl
eg rap h.
lrri'-ril'nr Kegularlty.
The Kef. Mr. W.lgu.s-My good man.
,U yu attend relg-ot; aervlee every
Sabbath'; , ,.
Ki.mal I'avts,.n -I nllur. do wheu I ui
lu Jail.-India napol-n Journal.
Srlf-'-ucritice.
"ir' a;r!" giped the dying tinn.
The b'rave g!rl heard liim and bd!
t.ued not a moment. Leaping fnun her
wheel ..!,- punctured both her tlren with
Oil possible h.iste.- Detroit News.
Horrible I'milshment.
"No wonder you have come to grief,
nil. the magistrate " t1"' l':'1i,l,:l1
,lrut.l...rd and tramp. "Volt nee you
have I n going on tears Idle team. -
New York World.
Her System.
She I'm h iniitig a lovely nklrt
dance, but of coiir-e I don't lot any one
nee me. I practice 111 a room all by my
self. lle-Ah. I see. You follow the Aus
tral, an ballet nysteiu.-lictroit I'rve
I'ress.
Hi Lot.
f. . 1 Ml 11
"Somr. Voiing I'cIIohs."
An Ann ric.ni w ho had llvi'd In Mexi
co for twenty year came back to IhU
country a few months ngo, and visited
the place nml people that were once
famll.nr to him. Hln op.nloii of tils na
tive land, as reported by tho Mexican
correspondent or the Huston Herald,
In hy no means Haltering. There are
"nice people" here yet. hut he think
that the prevailing tendencies In Amer
ican life favor extravagance, preten
tion, hurry nml worry; ami along with
the overdriven man we luve the lazy
man also.
"Just to test this labor question," the
visitor told the correspondent, "I went
to plantations In Virginia nml to farms
lu Ohio, dressed in my old duds, nud
asked for work. There wan plenty of
It. The planters and farmer were ull
wiling to give me H" a month ninl
good board and a clean bed all the year
round. 1 reckoned It up that I could
ate $im a tear at that rate, nml get
fat, too. 1 have worked hard in my
time lu rough employ tiietil. and have
no fear of sweating.
"Well, then I met some young fellow
III Washington, .,ni!ng about the bur
rooms and In front of the hotels, talk
ing about hard times.
"'Hoys.' I said, 'there is 11 o nerd of
loallng nud gruinbl ng. 1U tell juii
where you tan get work; go over to
Alexandria, and thole's Mr. Soand so
wants n man; another want Hirer, ami
still another two. Wages $111 n month,
bread, butter and meat, and peaches
and cream In the c:i-.ti.
" You can read Sunday nml learn
something, nud neoiil with money In
tour pocket ill the end of the year. Why
loaf on your friends mid talk politics'.'
Hotter work.'
"My reception by llmse young men
was not enthusiastic. Some nald they
had never wmked at hard manual la
bor; others hated fanning. It wan so
dull III the country. All sorts of excuses
were git en, but not one prompted by
good sense ami a willingness to do lion
est, hard w 01 k.
"Now that' a tine lot of young men
for you! You call them, I suppose, the
Hope of America." mi. I all that"'
i'he fact I.n. our cities are crowded
with men, so that there is a surplus in
every depart 11 t of labor. The coun
try h.m 1 11 emptied of the brawn an I
muscle that should he given to ngliciil
lure. On a farm a man can nt least
raNe food enough to avoid starvation;
nud If he In not able to purchase land
ami cannot llml ocu;vitlou lu our cities,
there are farmer in nearly all part of
the country who will be glad to employ
h 111. -Youth's Companion.
A lrj lUin.
According to the Uaiis.i city star
there Is one place In the litite, States
win re a man may he out In a heavy
rain and not get wet. cteu though he
has neither mackintosh nor umbrella.
lu the Colorado desert they have
rain storm tinting which not a single
drop of water touches the earth. The
rain can he seen falling down the
tiou.N high above the desert, hut when
the w.tier i-e:iclic thentr.it.i of hot, ,ry
a r beneath the clouds It is entirely all
soi bed before falling liulf the dls;.mce
to the ground.
ll 1 .1 singular night to witness a
I city ,bw upour of rain, not a drop of
which louche the ground. These
s 'range r.iin storm occur In region
where t'u' shade temperature often
rmg.s .is high as one hundred and
tvtcu'.t . ' gli t degrees I'jhreuhcit.
Mutable Autre.
toung Wlte twinning to plcascl -Now,
dear, what tires would you n.l
t;e me to wear for the concert this
ft t iilng?
l oud IhisUnd - Well, I think an no
coition skirt, with a brass baud
"round the wnlnt and pijet sleeve,
ni ght tH the occasion. - I'liihuhiphia
bulletin.
1 y v
CI..
I practiced riding on a hike
Around hi my hack yard.
And after every fall I thought,
".My lot in. I. i d i hard."
A rrrjii:lii'iiil Term.
Spokely -What In the definition of the
Wold "hike":'
Jokely-A Word used to signify bicy
cle by those w ho never rode one. New
York Tribune.
An Atslnl I'lluht.
I.lttle (Ilii-liease give me n penny,
111:1. 1111. Mother Is dead mid my fa
ther can't go out nt night any more hy
the doctor' order ami so can't earn any
money
r.encvolcnt P:iser l'.y Can't go out
nt night' Why, what's your father"
biisino-s?
I.lttle (ilrl-llo's a burglar, ma'am;
and before he was laid up with bron
chitis we tisci to live beautifully! Now
York Tribune.
So Thoughtful.
Iloleti-Oh, yen, he always thought
the world of me. I'.cfore we were mar
ried he used to say that he was willing
to die ror me,
Nellie -Hut he didn't.
Helen -Of course not. He was o
thoughtful, jt.u know. He said that he
did not da iv to do It. lest I should he
tillable to replace the loss. Household
Wor.l..
Love' "Ion. lu Hresm.
Aunt Susan-What, sitting up writing
at this hour?
Carrie -Yea, auntie; It's ouly a little
note to Harry.
Aunt Susan-Why, Harry left you
only live minutes ago.
Carrie Yea, hut there I noniethlng
I forgot to ask him, nud li s very Im
portant. Aunt Suan-Yes?
Cartic -1 asked him If he loved me,
nud he said yen; hut 1 forgot to ask
hl.n If he would love me always.-Pos-ton
Transcript.
The Horae-ltntT lo Yon
"tomaelf T
Vts-s
Idle e It
-': -:
"'re,. 0f j-hnme.
Wicks There Is one thing I will sat
for lihix-er; he ucwr talks about his
ovt 11 tt ritlngs.
Ilitks- I .'Hit m nl.,.t .....
.... -l" l" near tliat.
W here there s a sense e,f st!:,,m. t-t
........... me,,,. ,or reformation -
l.on'.oll Tr:il;ci Ipt.
An I injtiT Tillr.
"Htitigry lliggiuv;" , k(ni,
lady. "Oi" tvuisc. that is Uot tour real
Hume':"
"Nome." answered Mr. Higgin. "ifg
wet might N called au emp;y title ""
ludianaimli Journal.
The horse, w lien brows ng, t guliled
ftit, rely by the UoetriU In It choltv
of pn. per food, and blind hore are
tiett-r kuown to uutke oilstake iU their
J.iL
t rii.he.l.
Loverly -Ml, l.,,lr0y, J na
niy thought no longer
M.sn Pearey-Wliy. Mr. I.overlv.
l ate you re.il'y h.t, thoughts all
a etc-t II.... .
, , ' ' ' ') you nave eoa
eca.c I then., to W ure. oh. hit 1 '
cmetnl , i,.f . .' I
North Aaiencan. 1
1
' ..ria rine
Tark.-I '"n remember before I wM
Jlr ed.lntl us tired ofeveryiblus
Utterly I'-''' .,
IaI,e-Th;ugnnredlfTcrentuow?
i should nay so: now it's a real I;a
the cltih.-lirooklyn Life.
A hurt He proof.
, wer-WIt ne. I l''"'!',Te yu are
the blggent Ii-"- l'"u""'5'' .
.lu.J,-sir. you for.vt that I am
h.'K'.-rpto-Iate.
lixrij'""'-
T!,( foiirt-Voit ":" yu ,vor0 unab,e
t .s. the fii'.-; hotv wa thnt?
(it d.'e'!l-Sd he!!"'!' B't'eloll. It
is a dark (light, your vorshIp.-lto-luc.
lilonins lilmnclf.
1 1 v 1
J V,'
l:7 L2U -
f v "y
Pastil (who hail fallen Into money)
-How much yonh panih, hoy?
The Hoy-One cent!
"Not foiih me! Hit gome dat'a nionU
expensive!"
Otttr onslr.
"Two liendn are better than one,"
K.ild the barber when he had Unlnlied
cutting the hair of the Siamese twins
and wan punching out ' cent on the
cash regLntcr. New York Journal.
Unfortunate.
Count le Pniug (rapturously) Zere la
only vim vord In ze ICeugllsh language
to descr r-lhe your beauty, Mees tiold-
MX.
Miss (iohlrox Oil. Count
Count le l'riiug And. unforclmnatc- .
ly, I haf forgotten vat eets eca. liar
ter'a ltazar.
The lncorriirihle.
Til teach you to play pitch and
toss," nlioiited 11 u enraged father. "I'll
flog you for an hour, I will!"
"Knt her," Instantly replied the Incor
rigible, us he balanced a penny on hi
thumb nml linger, "I'll toss you to
make It two hours or nothing." Tit-I'.iis.
Interesting Information.
"And now, little children." said the
Sunday school superintendent, "If you
lire good children some day you uiay
wear 11 golden crown."
"1'iiw'h got one on his tooth now."
chirped the siiiiillest and newest boy.
Indianapolis Journal.
The Criminal.
"Jealousy must have been the orig
inal poster girl."
"Why 7"
"Slip Is said to have had green eyes."
Philadelphia North American.
Must I'uvr,
Profoor You disturbed my lecture
yesterday hy loud talking.
Student Impossible.
Professor Hut I heard ynu.
Student Then I must nave talked In
my sluep. l-'liegendo P.laetter.
Insult to Injury,
I
7 V-iV
r"
Us 4-
P.ill Sykes-Sny, Swipcsy, hurry up.
We got everything.
Swipcsy Muggs-Wa.it "til I git dla
burglar iilnriii. We might git some
thing ou It!
f'rohuhl jr.
"I've noticed nn Indian hanging
around the entrance for several days,"
said the theatrical manager. "Do you
know who he ts7"
"I strongly suspect he la a scalper."
replied the ticket ngeut.-Phihidelphin
North American.
Not Corrrcted.
Miss Flitters I don't know whether
Mr. Touilins or Mr. Briggs Is the best
man.
Miss Revere (from RostonN-Excuse
me. but I presume you mean better
man?
"Kxcuse me. I'm talking nhnut a wed
ding.' -Cleveland Plalndealer.
No Other requirement.
He-i shouldu't think you would have
the face to play "Trilby."
She-You dou't have to have tie face
If you have the feet-No w York Journal
A Case of Iltetlnfr.
At n recent "literary dinner" In Lon
don, Mr. I. .angwill told a stor- of a
certain fnt lady of his acquaintance.
Her corpulence had so grown upon her
that she resolved to consult a phvslclan
about it. She had had no previous ex
pericnce with "banting" of any sort.
The doctor drew up a careful dietary
for her She must eat dry toast, plain
boded beef, and a few other tulugs of
the same lean sort, and In a month re
turn and report the result to the doctor
At the end of the time the ladv came'
ami was so stout that she could hardly
rtn.ir,usu tL,? duor-TLe uctor wa
..Si! you Mt what 1 ,olJ your be
i:cllg!ous!y." ,he an,wen
His brow wrinkled In perplexity. Bud--';;
y e had a rash of Inspiration
asked aDJtUlBS ht
th?!ad5i.u,en,rorJiDar3-m,a!g.,'"'j
HOLD BUT LITTLE siLie
rpnnis tnit Are ."ci0
Craters and Drcrlvs ti . '
Pam Slick ha mn oiit,,
ohl-tlmo YankiH who f,K,i,.. .',
tomera wlfh wootlen tuitu,,.;.,, '
made from shoo pegs.
child III the hand of n,,. tr'-t,
the present day. Hi ti,.-t1Hu''
crude and awkward u t.,in
with thiwe now In vogn,., ' 11,11
Oue of the Intent device, f,
Ins people In trade I a dunul'1
which, when wound with a f V
of Hewing or knitting . n u
pi arnncc of a full-si.e 1 j,,,,. "
unless closely examined, nii
even oxpertn. These iiii:,.r 7
bought largely an "lemhTs" J"r'"
ciai aie ua.ts, aim a 1,
done III the imiiiuraoMny uf
A resin limn s;moi. in., j iy
fipoiislblo (inn, hohls al,.,.llt ,
. ........ ,.f i,..t . o.
In length, and at ro-.iii s .is liry
VI to Hi Olllicen. This s;,.,l u '
etiiln and Is cut away in t;.
make room for the silk, -t j '
spool I made on nn oppn,.
the end nre (he s iine size a ,,
of tho bona fide spool, htit ti,,. ,
llinteud of being hollovve.l ,ti
with a flaring swell ns shuiiu u
ii('oinpiinylng picture, Tli' r
w hen wound with less titan lmrJ
of silk, liKiks like a bargain at'
1
;i'.
S3
DKVICE TO lXtllKAsK 'ori:i
half the regular price, ami lvj
offered la snapped up in iia u tit;,
women shoppers who do imi jv,,
the f rami until the llk I iiiiwun:,;
The end.n of these ilutntny sinml.J
the mark "full sl.e," ninl'tli! ,
the deception, the Idea he lug t
Hie buyer think she Is getting an
nary oiM)-yard spool of silk furoof;
of the customary price.
It Is easy to detect the fraud, fur
pushing away of the silk wltti 1
thumb nail from one end of the if
will (pilckly expose the "stTcU" Jn
wood, and also disclose the fa,i
there nre only two or tliree layer
silk wound on It
Wife
eeite I. sc rrc.'.;t amnud town for ht.
w'ouJerful memory. LU
Never stand still In cold weather'!
nny length of time In the outJior 1
especially after having taken arc
exercise; and never strind long on 1
Ice or snow, or where the person in
posisd to the cold wind.
The vigorous and strong may fe!
early In the morning, ninl on nniri
stomach. The young nnd tlx.se i
nre weak had better bathe two orii
hour after a meal. The best tto't
such Is from two to three hour vie
breakfast.
Skin disorders very" often nri!"
sleeping In badly ventilated he'-f'-liming
the whole of the day tin
room should be thoroughly nlrm
at lihtht tho window should life
slightly nt the top to allow tlicl
air to escape.
If the hnir Is to he of even thii
nml beauty on both sides of tbl
one side of tho hnir ami of hVr.
should be brushed ns evenly si '
oilier. The ttsiuil practice Is lo W
all of the hair over either the ti'i
left shoulder, so that only oiie;
the sculp gets the stimiilatlon ttj
comes from the briishlng.
Nervous headache Is the kind j
w hich Aiiiprictin women nre most d
Jected, ns It results from theeff""l
make the nerves do more than
ought to do. The tlrst step In tM
this heathiche Is to drop workarJ'
ry, ami draw the Mood from tlif;
by soaking tho feet In h"t watet
putting cohl applications t the'
head and the back of the neck.
The Magazine of Pharmacy pi"
following recipe, which It dn'Uiw
go far toward cratllcntlng 5IU'
scars, burns and other cicatrliw
by disease: One-half ounce f l"
twelve grains of salicylic ncU.
drama of glycerine nnd six 01111
rosewater. I.lne soaked In t!w
Hon and allowed to remain ov
sciii s for hours nt a tlme-at ni
Instance will help to remove the
more rapidly, nnd they should k'
ly anointed w henever com -ciilcnt.
the stuff out of the eyes.
Where They May M
Of the fifty-seven commit''H' .
House of Representatives e"
hard-working. Industrious 00111
ami others do not have so tn"'1''
to perform. A gentleman wiio"
terested in a certain cotninlt:''
latter class iuqulred of the clea'
er the committee had met. , J
"No, sir," wplled the clerk.
answer w.19 made to each
luijulry day nfter day. At b'''
gentleniiiu after repented vi:,-,j
"Wheu do you think the -vr"
will meet?"
"Well," said tho clerk, .1 ,;
thought, "If the mcmlH-rs U'1"'.
tnlttee nre gisvd men I 'l'1"1
them If the members of the .
are good men, nnd lead nn "I""'' (
tuoiuj life, they may meet iD
They will, never meet here.''
A Lltlle Ptrone. ,
Mr. Eastman I am told til !l '
blows quite strongly here at ':m j
Prominent Kuiisaii-Tc!l ycu '
a fact; I've knotted it b 11 l(
twelve days an nights on a 'rf,
hold a sheep tip against the t
barn, fourteen feet from lh,'f,
all that time, an' never on 'l' K
fall."-Trutu.
The Mushroom. , j
The chemical constltuci.:
r.iu.shroom are almost hh I11:,1VfJj
those of meat, and It posses t-'
nourishing pQipertles.
r.flrntuit nra nnve nh.'-C'!''
chine-made, a very sln.r
clever, contrivance staini ,r.
Into proper rthAp.
o