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About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 9, 1897)
0CO00OCO00C)OOOOOOOOOOOOOaWOCKDOCO0OOCOCOC T RAPPEIDBY APACHES. coaxooocoocxroooiwoooo iwv" IS rl' f ly-,riill hoard ti tnl iiiiii-iin lie were whitened by I,,, snows of ninny winters, ,rl lils fvfi "ere mill bright with the rof wanly vigor nnd hi frame iin aright iiii'l s'M'I'h' ii 11" i- as wui'ii !' ... . ,. I.. ,1,.. l.lu llt-ol left Wi mini i" ' I -,Zett.. '!' I'1"1 elapsed siicc . Kit tlii"'. "hen !l r,iw subaltern, l"'s i .S8.-.1 as they all are. with tlu lollcf li.1t Ii' presence ns needed to 1 1 1 1 - iriive tin- morals ninl discipline of the .nice, !: mil lJik-ii tln train for the louiliwcst. w lu re hi regiment was dls ributcd among tin' various frontier ,u which at that time dotted the mhI covered plains f tlu territories, limy a brisk light with liostilt IiiiIIhiih nd "several pitched battles wllh thi'iu i.ul seen lilm at tin' head ' his platoon r trmip. Init all tliat was over ns lie M.nl before t!' fire-place ninl calmly nukcd Ills after-dinner cigar. Htlll nil nf martial ardor, lie was on the shelf. Father Time having registered fin- statutory number of years against tlai only a short time ago. He In on h.t retired li-t. Ills bronzed face is learned with era M. Thry cross the ilde forehead, maile wider hy the ant foliage wl.leh time has left, nnd i ark that f nit tire with furrows which M primly to the stem and forlild i.ng aspi'i t. Vi t he Is ns gentle ns rooms ninl noted for his kindly cotir mv to tin1 young. Major Malachl l!. rorowall, T. S. A. (retired), Is n fair type of tli iini'leut warrior, full of tear and reminiscences. All tlint Is ft to Imlii ate his calling Is the Loyal eglon liiittcii In the lapel of his coat I nd tin' iniiiilsiakalile nlr which the miliary man ramiot divest himself of. "Major," said a young friend, for the !d warrior much affeets the society if Ills Juniors, "pardon my curiosity, or rather let it he my excuse for Deeming :ipertlin'iiri I, ut I hnve often wonder ed In wlmt desperate cotitlict von re- I v cil Unit scar mi your forehend." 'That, me hoy," was the replv, ns the k.ajur passed Ms hand over the Intll- tutrd spot, "ns ymi sny. is the record If i fearful lik'lit. No offense, not nt iL I inn always delighted to (nil; for ?j young Irlends. hut, someway, I ever felt proud chough of thnt light "tell II nroiiiid the mess table. ;nd. r. ai nearly ns I enn recall. I finished ftaii ml Hint time. Still, It wns n dutiful light. If I do sny it myself." it was, Indeed." murmured Colonel IfTrlck. also retired, who wns n niem- i-rof the party ut the cluli that night. 'Tell u nlxnit it, mnjor." was the riter demand nf the group, which now f umbered half n score. The old sad r'i ynrns were nhvnyg Interesting. Iindthe liejs, ns he culled them, never f'WuHl nn eiportunlty to pet him to uwng or his youth when in the ..r. He. Hang It nil. I didn't furore In ti. u ffalr to any cren'. extent." wns the Mnrt. as the tnnjor shook Ins nuiea lien,. "You tell It. Herrick." "Xot linieh," erowled tln rnlnnM ilitlnu a fresh elgnr. "It's your yarn, nd If It Is ever told, which I don't I c- e will l,c ti;p on8(i you wlI ri,(, ,t "EACH TICKED OUT HIS I. I liad hut little to do with it, any-, T, i.17h.'Jll'v" 'ml H'lu't!" said the n.n ' r- Cntifdan.l .,.. i.,i.. .!., ' ,know 'lint If It had not been for " ' "ouiii not be here to-day?" ' "'8 In i't-tfl ti I .. . i t .jj - - .-.wi ink iiiu-irHiiiiK. Mild torr n1"',,k,'r' "1!o-vs' ,Ue '""J"1"8 J- silence for the major's story." S k i 1 ""''I"""-' 1 must." growled '",')r- "Here, Cleorge, till up all l. and the major settled himself lurtahiy and smoked iu silence un- -I r"r- ''ad been served nnd dls- '.Of. Then l,o u, i... , ,. "r, ii is iiai in inn Mwi i i 110,1 far 1,ack ln 11,9 chnlr "'"How's lIo8eJ l''es coumu'ueed Potnt" Herrick and I were at the Cn .1. . " "" I. lie wna a fii-ut n.j. - "u''n l was a 'pieb.' ' InnTL'w1,'1'1 Ul,' Malnrhl." said the "f. rati,, e ""il'itf to do with It, Ut not our experiences at the Point lienot. v,. a tilling tll utor.v. e you from ircttlu t i. . ftlrt, uui save you fnnn iri'ttlu "m: , . v- 'n spite of the col- dJ anJ waves of his hands ns Parade " reUinrk ''l "'J crT lnyln" I dll- Well, w h'le .7 Dwt "f mme class, we Ih. Wftf . frt'nd and when Herrlclt L -TjV.iniai-. "s inwy,! . ujr iuiem us made me prom- Ise to work for the snme curiis. (if conrse 1 had little to do with wln-re I should Ko. hut It fell ut thnt wlicn 1 was commissioned I got orders to re port to the commnndtiiK officer nt Kmt Hayar.l, in New Mexico. I thought this pretty tough, hut It wit nothing compared to what followed not no darned long nfter. Well, I left the Point the biggest Idiot of nil the young fools who leave Impressed with the be lief that n Held marshal's lmtu;. Is tiu least thnt he could expect In the ser vice. I Joined my people, nnd n luck would have It found that I wns mm of tlie regiment to which Ilerrlck had been assigned. This made It easier for me. ns he Introduced me to tho regiment nnd everything wns lovely. We were 'X "WE UODE AT TUO.E INDIANS WITH TUE YEI.I, Or" HEVU.S." bachelors nnd were quartered nenr each other, nlthougb he got his grade since I saw hi in nnd now wore a bar In his shoulder strap. "It would hnve been all right If It had ended there, but It didn't. Not long nfter I Joined, our squadron we were In the cavalry was ordered to Flngstnff, A. T., ns dismal a place nt that time ns ever happened. You see there wns trouble with roving bands of Apnches nil the time, nnd the old poit. abandoned now, wns heartty garrison. ed all the time. This order took our major with the four troops away from Haynrd Into the region of the heavy forests nnd hills south of the (irand Canyon of Colorado. Well, from Hint time on it was Held duty nearly nil the time. I wns sent out to scout nnd py on the Indians, nnd but for my ser geant, a veteran Indian lighter, might have been left there to bleach my bonei ns a second lieutenant. One of my fool tricks you see, I thought I knew It till nnd disputed the wisdom of a sugges tion of my sergeant's while away on the plains and got myself nnd llt'le command in a devil of a tlx. It mnkes mo t'ired now when I think of It. "This Is where Herrick gets Into 'he game once more. I was out on this scouting trip nnd kept on going, when It would have been better to turn hnck. I thought It would be great fun to round up nil the redskins In Arizona MAN AND LET DRIVE." with hnlf a troop. That's where I missed tny guess. I was years wiser when It was all over. We milled tin bund I wns sent out to scout for two or three days nnd saw them safely In the lava rocks. It was my business to lo cate them where they had reason to be lieve we could not follow mid then re tire until I fell back on Sinners, -oin-ninndintr It troop. Cordon's and my owu, K troop, or rather tlie iiniani e oi mine. I knew these fellows were on my trnil somewhere, tlimigh where the Lord only knew, so I decided to push on i and have it out with the reds. You see, I wanted stars and other trap- j i.InU before I knew the value of nn o , empty strap. . "I think the Lord loves a fool. Th.T'n the only hypothesis to go on lu tnH case anyway. Well, we marched ahead. I., -oit.. of Mclntlre s protests- h" was mv sergeaut -until what he f. are l ( 1 .onllv Iml.oened. We Went ill'O camp one ulglit and saw the wat h files of W wi re the red devils all around us trnpped. Instead of trapping the oil fellows. Then I had sense ciioii.-u le ... ii-...., i r,.i,iii and on the sil.'g' r 't i in im.r.i ,i " - .. . i.. fod , .. tlon of Mac I s. nt a rucoei o,o n crr..1 i, bice to make a sta nn . n voi" ' off If this could not be done. I had twenty rounds and fifteen men to go against 400 or M reds. Tab, It mikes m feel chilly to think of t. Well, thnt ludlnn found u spot where mv I tile fi'rce eoiiM . ,!,,K :i and If iit't n Ue I could k-ip uiid-r io.er. while m.ik;ug every bullet count. s( e si. ti struck camp nnd stele away !k- h In f thieves, liHijilnir f.,r nafi'ty. "Ild we ma'ne Hint hole? Not will., out h nernp. We had only about -m yards to g,, I.itt we had s.nr. eiy tone hnlf tin- d.siuiiee when p'.hg; nu, uiy cap Hew Into Hie nlr. I steped . It -we were dismounted - nnd lio;!i-r sliot sung out where my load w-rild hnve been If 1 had been er. !. W e formed In siimiv nnd the men s ldy got ready for the charge which seemed Inevitable, but It did Hot come. Those Indians Just kept up an annoying tire until they saw where we were going to. and then they em loose with n olley which nearly swept me off my f.-t. 'In with yen, sir,' screamed the si r B' ant. ns he gave me n shove and soon afterward followed with the. bier. Koine of whom showed signs of Is'ln'g tilt. I found myself In a natural strotigho!.'. covered on nil sides from plun,:lii,: Ore. closed In so that tl uemy couM only approach ,y one narrow way ai d safe ns long ns my nniinniiltlou held out. Water there wrs none, at.d the sergeant w.is the first to deplore th s. "Well. I placed my little fon e as well ns possible, told them not to waste a shot, nnd then sat down to wait ,r daylight nnd the oonlllot which my foolhurdlness had brought on. Ii came before. We had Just got m rendiaos when the sergeant held up a warning flngcrnnd crept out to the uioum of c.i fortress. He kept his body -arcl'illy screened, a inl w lived for me. I went to him nnd found the reds masilti,' for a charge. The old trooper said Mils wns the best x,ss!hlo Indication h.it they knew exuetly how ninny men I had. I ordered up n few of the bo. and then we waited until the iliisiy forms got out Into the moonlight. 1 saw It wns tight, nnd made up my mind to h ave my murks. As the leading 111, a rose over the hills until they were fully revealed I ordered the men to lire. "Kaeu picked out his man nnd let drive. The effect must have been fear ful, as the men were picked shots, and they wasted no lead that night. Th y fired regularly ami steadily half .1 do:: en shots each, and the attacking parly melted away. They replied, but we were so well covered that we suffered t'o loss. Thus tlie night wore nway with desultory tiring on the part of the In dians mid the sharp replies by my -ood fellows whenever au Apnche was indis creet enough to get lu range. Then a new danger arose w hich nearly cost us all our lives. "As t he firing continued the smoke of the inrblin-s was driven b:ic Into our den. This wns n good tiling for the men at the doorway, for It cleared I heir vision fur another shot, hut It nearly choked the other men to deitti. It filled the little chamber after n while, and I saw that unless some means were devised to get It out, the dread of nil would be realized, we would have to abandon the only position which held out any hope of rescue. Still we could not stop, as that meant dcat'i for all In Its most horrible form. Well, to mnke a long story short, w e were coop ed up ln that hole for the heller poi -tloti of two days. Three of the men were dend, Mclntlre had a shuttered bridle nrin, mid the scouts weie lying In front of our position, mute evidences of the fate which awaited us as soon iis our cartridges failed. "Finally I concluded that, wi'h no water and the men almost Insane from thirst, it was all over. I decided to make a dnsh nnd go down fighting In the open. I asked the men to follow me nnd they nil shouted their approval. We masked our Intended movement as well ns possible nnd rushed out to the plains with a yell of defiance. A rat tling volley fell around us, but fortu nately the surprise of our dash prevent ed the Indians from taking accurate nlm nnd a few unimportant Hcsh wounds were all that were received. I was drunk with dctpnlr nnd so were the men. It wns certain death we ;,ll believed, and we rode at those Indians Willi the yells of devils. "I shall never forget the shock of our contact. We rode down the first lines, but were too weak to force our a.tv through their entire column. The car bines were emptied at half pistol dis tance as we charged, and the heavy re volvers made sweet liilislc as we ad vanced at a furious gnllop. Then there was the shock of the mooting and we knew that we were making our last stand. The blight steel circled around the heads of that band of desperate men ami the enemy toppled nnd fell In windrows about each horse. The iio-n shouted, veiled ami lailk'heil as they f(1(ll!lt j!h the fury or .1 mons. Ti1(.v u.re going down too rapidly, )iiiu'(.u.r fl,r ,i,,,t unequal contest to ,))rlt illUJ j as Mi,,,) from n sl.i -h ,,,.ri,M ,, f,, rehead and cut away v,i;li strength of my arm. scarcely k , j vvas doii.tf. I seem-d to be In some horr,i,i dream, where blood wn v.at"r and I was Irving to swim out. The waves r,,s- higher and higher and I was being rapidly engulfed In that red I! 1. "Suddenly I fiH a sharp pain as If a redl.ot Iron had been drawn across my forehead. th',re was a wild shriek, th ru:, Id thud of horses' f.-t. and I f.dl to ! e ground In a faint. I was told later that I was down and is.ii.ti..'j. I th- pr. an Indian had of s, alping in e. .low n Into' that Ilerrhk's sal-r I . l... Tr,,r,S rode " " : . srr iu i ,o.- SVV ept "I d ,ff the load or my assiaor n't know much n!,ut The siJ- ceedlti events Whea I caam to was stretched out on the floor of our ambu lance, my head spi tting and boon I n I blindages. Near ino, with 1.1- arm i:i a sling, was M,'li, tire. As v.e v.ire .'.:li u along Some's p,.i, his head into ti c 1 W ig, ,11 all.l Col .plllllell!. d li e i ll ,.V j stand and M:e sVll st: wis In t h, .; the position from w iil h I had woiu ' out the reds. I w as too Mol. hi a to say anything, but when the talked of r.e omuii hdlhg me for a C. ngn-ssiotial medal for my ii:-st UcM I ri ! ,1 , , and I'M the recluiciit how 1 lad made a d d fid of iiins it'. Moltuliv wears II I' uicl.il, and 1 I: .vi- tlds s, .if as a lllelnellto of III tllst sello w I' h old C'.li- I'liahi.a."- Chi. a.;o I'hrei.icle. i "PICK UP" FOR UNCLC SAM. Million of I'ollma of I luluiond J Money In the Trniaiit j, j There are millions upon millions of . dollars In the treasury paid In ir,,ni dll' i i , .i. i i . - . I'i'i'l Rooices WHICH ucioni; IO cmens of the 1 lilted States. To ihls Wealth the p,st,,ii,v department, through the money order oltlce. contributes largely. A few years back the postmaster gen eral deposited w It ti the treasurer in a rly Jo.oiii.imii, the ti. oney fioin inn ashed orders w lilch had aci uniulal, d s n e the otii, e was started 111 1X1. At tlr.t no effort was made to restore this un ililinid money iii lis rightful owners, but the letters of advice, tur 1 In as unpaid by the postmasters from ail oer the count ry were kept. III case a ile iiiand should be made for their pay ment. This money remained to the credit of the Ii one old, r oltlce. show ing a hug,- pti,:li tor tin- service. This policy wns subsciiienily changed, and now the ollice in.le.aois to refund the money to the remitters by a tll'Mft drawn on the treasury. This rule oh tains In case of money orders less than ten yen in old. 1 otters of adlee older than this are ib si ro , d. Every year about 1 per cent, of the. fioticy ordi is Issued are Hot cashed, leaving from jss.i.i m i,, jfioootxi uu i laime.V w ldcli is deposited in the treas ury. There are many reasons to ac count for tlds large number of money orders not being cashed. In some lie stances orders arc tiled away with oth er pn pees and forgotten. More fre quently the Ii iter containing the order Is lost or stolen, and the order never reaches the addressee. Thin Is true of the orders made out to the large shops which do Hot receive the order or the n iiipanylng letter containing orders for goods to be shipped, owing general ly to the dishonesty of employes. There are cases, too, where men have used the money order office as a bank mi l have made out orders to thcmsclvts which, owing to suit, leu deatli or other cause, hnve never bis'ii claimed. It Is tlilllcult, however, to explain why such large sums remain unclaimed, for In case an order Is lost a duplicate Is easily obtained. Application Is made by either the remitter, the payee or the oltlce of payment, and a duplicate Is Is sued with only the delay necessary to comply with the forms. A year ago the department made a ruling that du plicate money orders could Hot be Is sued lu less than throe mouths from the time when nu application was tiled, but tills was found Inconvenient, and this order was rescinded. Didn't Approve. "What inn your opinion oh ills 'miiri ual training' dey talk oh liilrojuoli.g Into our schools, I'ucle Samson'" u quircd Mr. Marc Antony Waslilngtoi., I u a respectful tone, of his nearest neighbor. "I habn't glliben de subject do full benefits oh de prohnostlcutlolis oh my mind, yet, snh," replied Fnele S imsoii, promptly, though a close observer might have noticed a puv.lcd look on his sable countenance at the moment he heard his neighbor's question; "but on de whole, I don't approve oil It." "Is dat so?" said Mr. Washington, In evident surprise; "now I thought you'd be right down pleased to hah ymir Louisa's Joshua get dat manual (rain Ing." "No, sah," said Fnele Samson, grow ing secure 111 his own mind, as he went mi, "not so long as Ids maw and me is alive. I don't approve oli manual t rain ing In de school for Joshua Itomulus. lie am a mighty servlg-rous chile, dat't true, but his maw lins got a good strong arm, and (lore's conslil'ble power left In mine yet, sah, ami what manual training dat hoy needs, his maw or me will gib lil in rigid here nt home, yes, sah!" Ic. rge lllock of (.raiilto. Iteocutly a bhs k of granite weighing 1.1!17 tons was used an the pedestal of the tMuintrlan statue of Peter the tlreat at St. Petersburg, having been trans ported four miles by land over a rail way and th'.rtis ti miles In a caisson by water. The railway consisted of two Hum of timber furnished with hard metal gnsives, between which groove were placed spheres of hard brass about six laches in diameter, tin those snh ores the frame with lis load was ea.slly moved by sixty men, working at tin i 'rajhstaiia with treble purchase bhs'kfl. Another large bhs k. measur ing IPUliixU feet, was a few- months since taken out at the Cralgneth o,uar-rii-s, near I ml heat lie. Scotland. It weight was cstiuiuteil at do tons. An Aw till Klslt. Two Impecunious Scotsmen came upon a saloon. Tiny had only "sax pence" between tin in, so they ordered one "nip o' whii-ky." '1 hey were hesi tating who should have the first drink, when an aciiialniaii Joined them Pretending that they had Just drank, one of them handed the new coiner the whisky. reiiies:iiig h.i.i to Join tliini In a drink. H" drank, and. after a few minutes of paiufiil and silent sus pense, said: "Now. b ,ys. you'll have one wiih me'" "W.i-na that weel managed, moil?" said one to Ills pal afterward. "Ay. It was." said the other, solemnly; "but It was a dread fu' risk!" Utile S-ter is'tilvlng le-r grammar l.-ssoiii Mow can you compare the words "beautiful g'ri?" Kig lirother ia!eii;-tn;n,liilli I'os.iive. you call; comparative, you propose; sajs-rlutive, Hl. a, pis.- ItaltlmoriMews. Skor h. r's a perfect wreck." "What ails him?" "'I '"' d'H-tor s-'ivs he has Mcvcle lii-nrt. biey ! lost 1, Idi ycl,. fuce, bicycle eves, bicycle ti-th and bicycle Wliei-S." Chicago Ib-'ol'd. When tl-hlng Is g I It Is surprising how many idle people can Ut found to tak advantage of It. II I'M OH OK T1IK WY.YM UT0RIES TOLD BY FUNNY MEN OF THt PRCSS. Odd, Curinii iiiol I. niKlulile I'Iisp of llumuii Nulurr (iri,liually Per trurd liy l iiiioinl Word Arliat of Uiirliwii Hj - A llmltfcl of I on. h,i Ink U s of t-iH C lie N ,, Horn fii. "Miss l.lderly. I never tasted any thing supi-iior to this wine," said ('huinpleigl'. en' hilslasl lea Hy. "l'apa said It was put lu the cellar w hen 1 w as only a little to. Idler." "I ll wa.-ef that It's the oldest III the city." Mctivit Free Press. An Art at. Yeast - I notice Stona call hU adver lis .tig mail an artist. I'l'luisoiibeak -Well, that's icrfectly rlg'it. "liailicr a big mime for a man who writes advertisements, Isn't It'" "Well, he draws people, doesn't he'" Yollkel'S Statesman. III. k. First Tramp Some folks Is born lucky, ltonrhcr Kill Soaks? Si eolid Tramp Yep. First Tramp lie got Into Svvelper's brewery Ihe other night all' dl'ow lied ill a beer val. New York Weekly. Consoling. I. am Hold 1 Just dioppcd III to I Ii for in ou that I am going to raise the lent. Tenant You are very kind. I was Womleilng how 1 could raise It myself. -Philadelphia North American. A llntlle of Oilnr. "Aunt I'rls, Ilia, that mini lu the upper berth Is smoking a cigarette." "I. ami's sake. Ionise, get out the camphlle but lie right ipilck and Upset It."- Petiult Free Press. IT WAS A . y, 5 if ferial 1 tefSMt-TK 1 WXS&l Klia Jane What yo' got, Hastus? Frastus I luck. Fha.litue Am it u wild one? FraMus (luess 'lis hmieyj tuck me twenty mlniitrs to coteh It. ActloiiN Virnk I. oil ier tliun l.niik. "What a thoroughly mean and con tcmpilble looking fellow that man lu tlie front seat Is. I 'Id you notice ho sneaked out of paying Ills fare?" "Hush, that's tlie president of the road."- Cleveland Plalndeuler. Kol lowed It Im. Tuttle The professor finds It Impos tdhlc to get away from ids work." New ton Is that so? Tllltle- Yes. he went to the seashore and the Hist tiling he struck was a school of llsh. Texas Sifting. ( til vu ry Head. Wife (diearilyi All, me! The day of chivalry are past. Husband W hat's the matter now? Wire Sir Waller Italelgh laid his cloak on the ground for Cjueeii Fllxa beth to walk over, hut you gel mad simply because poor, ih'tir mother sat dow u on your hat. - Huston (ilobu. i lilllr Mmlr-rii. "And how," said the Interested spec tator at the Carlisle Indian foot ball game, "do you keep your vvlgwain?" The savage smiled. "Ah," he answer ed. "When we rut our hair we gener ally wear hats, oh, yes!" New York Press. 1 lie Srnsoii la Htr Again. Where erst the bullfrog cranked his lay. The urchin, heedless of our tears And pra.veis, pats on Ids skates to-ihiy, I'.reaks through the Ice ami disuppeur. llosl.in Courier. Worn, i nl Hy in pa Hit "Ceorge Malllaml left his wife widow this in, lining." "Poor dear, I am so sorry for her." "P.ut tin y say (ieorge didn't treat her very well." "Oh. It Isn't that. Wllh her sallow face she'll look Just horrid In black." Cleveland Plalmlenler. Wllllnii to Try. T'jLrfl ni S St -LsT La af I M ? 1 L Si 7a Old iJold -Young man, you can't sup port a wife like a daughter of mine Is accustomed to living. ('holly Short Cash - I can, If you nlve her the same lis she Is now gcttlutf. .Hlnrul Conclusion. "lie my wife," pleiid-d the member of the til'ln. The typewriter shivered as If a dag ger had been plunged Into her heart. "Then yon have ceased to love me," she fullered.-Ii droit Tribune, Ilia OhasrvuMon. "I'h I you know." said the man who was nadll g nu article about the con tra, lion of metais, "that a clock ticks faster In winter than lu summer?" "No. I lo ver noticed that alsuit a ( loi k I'.ul I know a gas meter doe." Uebaiaipolis Journal. wir''' 1 M1 "", 9 nM "Well, she's n widow whose husband didn't have to die t g..t i Id of her."- I 'droit Free Press. Nothing to l.oae, lie So Hull, Mil has failed' SI.e es; but the -old owe us a call. so, It link g Iness. we won't l,,se by It, - London Flgaio. ''A llirutor 1 lirualiliiu Machine." V t 4v' f oinrlliliitf of ii Hlrnl'i. "So vou do not think a minister ought to I lde a bicycle? ' "No; 1 didn't say Hint at all. Hut I do think be I'luhl not to tackle It unless he Is sure his religion can stand the strain of h ariiliig." - Indianapolis Jour nal. I'rrcocloiia. Little Kllicl Your sister Is engaged, isn't she? Pla.v mate Who says so? I .It tic Flhel Nobody. Phi inn te Then how do yon know ? I. Illle Ftliel When the postman rings she goes to the door herself. liood Words. WILD ONE. I'rarral Krlcmta. Fdllh Allan S nil t h him usked me to marry lilm. Hut 1 know him so little. Flhel He might not ask you If you were belter ac, jualnted.-1'clrolt Free Pies. Unman .Natnra. Tommy-Pa w, what I human na ture? Mr. Flgg - Human nature, my son. In the excuse generally offered by a man who has been acting like u hog.-In dlauapolis Journal, A llrlulil Scholar. ,-''7. .r... t it Try Teacher -Where Is Joy. ami happiness to be found? Tummy- Iu the dictionary. III Savin, Uracc. "I am uot without my good points," said (lie tramp. "What are they, I should llku to know?" asked the gruff citizen. "Well, for Instance," replied Meander ing Mlkey, "1 am the original piece of Inbor saving machinery." Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph. Would Try Again, Hatter-1 have tried the largest sized hat lu the store ou you and It I too small; I can order one for you and have It runic In about four days. Cum so (who hud been out with the ho) the night before) Never iiilnil go ing to thnt trouble. I'll call In to-morrow and try this one ou again. Norrls town Herald. Variety In Fating, While It I true that "variety is the splee of life," the txst Judgment of care ful students I In tlie line of simplicity In the matter of food. Have au ede uiite supply, have It thoroughly and Intelligently cooked, but let It be plain, simple, digestible, lu tills direction a Western health Journal pertinently, if not very elegantly, remarks: "Never have a great variety at one meal, but make the vnrlety from one meal to the next. I ild you ever stop to think what a conglomerate mass your stomach con. tallied after eating a great variety nt one meal? If not, Just Imagine all you huve eaten and drank mixed up In one bowk ami then ask yourself the ques tion whether It Is any wonder that peo ple have dyspepsia." r'slla Nearer Hiiis. F.dltli - Where are you going to spend your vacatlvQ)? Ilessle - Mil III Ilia wanted 'Qgo to the Falls, hut papa said that If she went lo n tiicycie acauei fs) sue coin, I see all the fail she cured to. Harper' ltoiiud Table. A girl always cost u man more wife. tliau am I' U.i i 1 health CRf? C1(3 llrQ V)l , ' '.H ' (SJ e-r, f V I . I i'l' 3'-VX-S t-3 K ' I -.i ' 7,f Success.-W hat the world calls a fail ure Is often a magnificent success. True success is to make the most of your s lf and your opportunities.-ltev. W. C. I'ariild,', ltaptist, Cincinnati, oldii. U 1. I.e.! Laws. lnhuity makes slow pro.'rossagaliist public opinion; but tho iK' II g.'i-s swiftly forward when tho ll'W II -,!-v law becomes a horse for It to ride iiim :.. . N. I. llillls. Independent, Chi- igo. 111. Ideas Move the World.--The men who leave their mark are (he men of one idea, or men who sul-'i',l:iiaic all to oin live. Fvery Idea has behind It n universal power.-I'r. .1. 1. Ituck, Tlieos-iphlst, Cincinnati. Ohio. Failure nnd Success. He Is a falluro, thoiigli he l e ten tlun s a millionaire, who docs nil for self and naught for others. He Is a success, who, though he have naught for self docs much for otheix. liabbl .1. I.. Levy, Hebrew, Philadelphia, Pa. Sin lu the Church. -The church can Hot sin and pray at the same time. Sin separates lis from ti.sl. Sill hides the face of the Father. All the sin of Coldlli-ss, neglect and disobedience must be given up.-Kev. .1. W. Marshall, .Methodist, Camden, X. J. Saving Souls. We should try to fully rculh'.c the value of one human soul, nnd then we would In- careful of our lives. If only one soul I savisl tho gospel Is a success, No Christian has any business to be anything idse than a smd saver.- Itev. C. It. I.amar, Meth odist, New York City. Chnvfiihnsss. Human hearts are the vehicles employed of heaven to enrich the world. More In contributed by the cheering word, the sunny countenance and the thrilling hand grasp than this world dreams of. 1 'esplse no voice, for (bid can give Ii melody.-Ker. A. Z. Conrad, Congrcgatlonallst, Worcester, Mas. Crime mid Punishment.-- As long as men live alsive the law I hey do not feel any restraint, but as soon as they drop below they fisd the hand of corporate Sis'lcly. The problem to be solved Is, how shall the 'corporate hand hold a man as long as he ought to Ih held and thell let tl 1 1 11 go? -ltev. Ir. Perlll, In dependent, Boston, Mas. The Ministry. Tlie Christian minis try I the divine agency for distributing to mankind tlie gift of Hod. Tho agency employed nearly 'J.ikiii years ago was a consecrated human agency. "As my Father lias sent me, no 1 send you." The sivver of Inspiration Is needed today.- Itlshcp White, Fplscopallan, Io- diaiiiiMilis, I ii I. I The Nogro.- The time for the negro to sucis'ssfully rely ou tho white for i support Is gone, and now In this cottu 1 try II Is every man for himself, white or black, rlc'u or poor, great or small, with t uhuost equal opportunities, nnd If he falls In life he has no one to blame hut : himself.- ltev. H. T. Washington, ltap tist, Atlanta, Ca. Appilisl Religion. The Christian Is to save men by a divine couliigioii a liv ing touch. He Is Hod's leaven, and leaven luiu-i re mixed with the meal. He Is Hod's salt, and salt can only save i by actual touch. There Is salt enough III the World, but It is UllTcleil up lu the churches, and needs to I if scattered and applied. Applied rclltnu Is the want of our day. Rev. Richard llur coiirt, Mi'tlusllst, Philadelphia, Pa. Opportunity to All. -If you will think of It for a moment, all f us tame, prosy, cum mi ill people live hi the samo world with tlie poets and lirllsts, the phllosophei'S and seers. 'Thousands have seen the peasants sto) and say their Ave Marie at sunset, hut Millet painted It. All over the world In the unnumbered humble homes the same wvue Is enacted, but Iturns wrote It. Rev. J. II. Fool , Coligre;atloiiallst, Hetiver, Colo. The National (luard.-Our .'Itlzen sol tilers are guardians of our pens'. They nre banded together, not for conquest, but for defense; not to provoke war, but to prevent It; not to threaten the liber ties of any, but to uphold th- llhcrtifti of all. So long as they remain loyal to thene patriotic and pacific Id 'tils nono are more worthy of grateful recogni tion hy their fellow citizens. -Rev. J. II. Hull, Congrcgatlonallst, Cleveland, Ohio. UeiMproelty. No people cau live unto Itself. Nations are coiiiploini'iitary to cadi other. What one may lack an other may possess lu full inciuure. liy a Ills-nil (Killcy of Interaction the peo ples of the world cannot hut mutually benefit. Selfish silltlclelicy Is fie death knell to a people's growth. Influences progress. The scattering of Its benefit unto others I tlie surest mad to In crease of greatness. Rabbi l'hlllpsou, Hebrew, Cincinnati, Ohio. Hong Itird In the Arctic. It luis becu n source of liitensst and wonder to Arctic explorers to Hud such quantities of singing birds within the Arctic circle. They nre nbundaiit be yond belief. Put the Immense crops of cranberries, crow berries and cloud ber ries that ripen lu the northern swamps account for the pnwnce of the birds. Tlie Isd-ries are preserved lu the snow, which begins to melt atsiut the time tho songsters appear, and then they feast royally on the crystallized rrults nature, has so mnrvelously kept for theiu. limaeil. The Conk -I'iscluirge me. Is it? Wall, yes don't dare. Ol'U expose yes to thu hoarders! Mrs. Sllmdlct-What do you menu? "( (I'll tell 'em the fresh mut'.liis they t'lnk they're gettin' I very mornlu' are not lilu' but the owld wans blown up wld n bicycle ismp:" New York Jour mil. A Nulra Wrply. Cwreful Mamma Kt'Ol. dear, I thought 1 heard young Mr. Spooney kissing you ou the steps last iilght, Flhel -Not ou, the steps, mauiiua. qw York Tribune. One of the funniest things In the worldOls to see a woman cry ftt 1m? Ou she wants to, but because shit think she ouht to. i f f O e