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About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 7, 1896)
EUGENE CITY GUARD. L I CAMPBELL, Fraartatar. 1 EUGENE CITY OREGON Now we know what tho motter wos with Kpiiln. A recent minister's mime li Hunch. Cnpld iniiNt bo a pretty good finan cier; two Chicago boys wore married the other day, neither of whom hail enough money to poy for a llccuse. An exchange print a column of di rections how to prevent elder from working. Send It In to this office and wo will guarantee that It ahull not work long, oven If wo have to work over time. A proposal of marriage for the hand of nn Egyptian princess made 3,.'ou years nut bus been discovered lu the BrltUli Muaeum. It la In the form of an iuscrlU'd brick, and la not only the oldest, but tho moat substantial love letter la existence. It how appears that Ll Hung Chang'a trip waa tho Idea of the dowager em press of China, who believed that a knowledge of tile Institutions of Europe and America waa uoccKsary to the wel fnre of China. The old lady baa a large bead. Hut who put blm up to asking all thoae questions? i l Compll incuts are the poetical touebee which redeem the monotony of prosaic existence. In the Intercourao of ay in pallietlcand well bred peoplo they have a niiliiral place; and It la aa pleasant to reiognlze by word or look the graces rud charm of our frlenda aa It la to enjoy uud profit by them. A Boston firm la alout to laaue a com plete edition of tho worka of Harriet Hecelicr Stowe lu alxteeu volume. Fif teen of them are dwarfed by assocla tlon wllh one of tho great literary crea tion of the English language, ami yot the series will afford many pleaaaut urprlaea to the thoughtful reader. Hlr Edwin Arnold blushes and bridle over tho use of one of hi pocma aa the center pleco for a page of aoap aud other advertisement, like the girl who find her portrait lined to ornament the lid of a cigar box. Hut lan't such uae of a poem In point of fact a tribute from the lower force of civilization to the power of the Ideal? To tlie mind of tho Kocheter Demo crat and Chronicle the woman with a high hat uud the mau who habitually ti... not imtu'i'i'ii the acta are much less provoking uutaaiicea to pluy goers than tin Jackass witn ui neeiinw soi on a hair-trigger, who coiuea to the theater only In search of oportunltle to relieve himself of hi bray." Among thu gentlemen engaged In the port of pigeon shooting at llelllgeli dumin, a fashionable resort on the Hal tie, who were arrested at the Instlga tlou of the Society for I'rcventViu of Cruelty to Animals, waa one w ho gave bla inline as "liraf v. Sehworln." Later the police dlscoveri'd that ho waa none other than their sovereign, the Hrand Duke of Mecklenburg Kchwcrln, who waa itn) lug there incognito. Tlie riirloim statement la made that the uiauircHt disinclination of Queen Victorlu to encourage the demount ru Hon In honor of her being the longest reign of any Hrltlah sovereign grow nut of the fact that, according to court gossip, ahe la a vehement Ja coU to and holds the elder rretender to have I n a real king of Knglaiid Aa he lived sixty-four year after hi father' demise, alio luaUt that hla was the longeat reign. Every rightful occupation ha It just compensation to the Industrious worker In the ahapo of well-earned money; It ha also It own peculiar service of welfare to the community; but beyond both these It exerta a reac tive Inllueiiee for good upon the life and character of every faithful toller. It Ins the power of developing every faculty of the mind, every Hue moral quality. Energy, courage, fortitude, patience, perseverance, en I m in, (lis iutcivstcdiicK, magnanimity, fidelity may all be unfolded, expanded aud strengthened through our dally ordlu ary labor. Chicago I Inclined to laugh at the Btate Hoard of Health of Indiana which lias recently forbidden the use of late lu the public school on the ground that slates, slate pencils and the pupils' saliva aid In conducting tlie hoc teiia )f diphtheria and other disease from one child to another Chicago laughs because lu Its schools the slate lias disappeared solely because It was not needed. r per has taken It place with marly two hundred thousand pu pits. Taper Is clean. lYncUs are chean. Klates are expensive and awkward In handling. They have been tabooed In Chicago. The health department has never taken up the question. A Georgia man w ho ha a great ad miration for hi fair compatriot of tho South, and ha for years made a fad of collecting their photographs, wa de lighted when a certain New York mag azine began printing monthly Install ments of picture of Southern bounties. A marked deterioration in tho pul chritude of the ladle portrayed, how ever, aroused hi suspicions, and he baa discovered that he baa beeu gross ly deceived by both the magazine and the Southed beauties. Instead of the magazine writing to those women who ore, lu Its Judgment, really beautiful, It write only of those women who are willing to pay fifteen dollar think of It, fifteen dollar! for the privilege. "It might be worth flfieeu dollars," be complains, "to some women even Font hern women-to get their pictures printed ns ben utles. A to the maga cine, If It can make a woman beautiful for fifteen dollars, it looks a If we hoiildn't try to stop It. Still-well-my Idols are all knocked over." After a somewhat long aud desperate ptruggle for fame Allegheny submits a a tentative claim the possession of a 7-yc-nr-old girl whose entire vocabu lary eouslsis of the word "nit," Accom panying the information Is the state- ment by the correspondent that "some of the moat eminent specialists of the country are agreed that ahe will never be able to apeak any other word." It a not revealed what the reaaona are which warrant these "emluent special- lata" In predicting for the young woman that her vocabulary will remain limited to "ult" for life. In fact, the record of her sex would seem to suggest that several other worda will be added to It la the courao of .time. It will bo a source of distress to tho people "w ho dearly love a Lord" or any other titled personage to learn that Ilia Majesty, King 1'ene. In the absence of reniltumce fnmi Dahomey, of which I e 1 the reigning, or, to be more ex act, sprinkling, monarch, ba been forced to eparate hlmseir temporarily from the possession of the preserved bend of a Peruvian chleftalu for the trifling uin of $10. Oom I'ene made the sacrifice only at the urgent solicita tion of a largo appetite which he hn become accustomed to aatlafy. The King demanded at first. It appears, 15.000 for bl rare Peruvian relic, but finally compromised for the mill named. It la to be hoped that the dusky ruler will be tided over hi em- barrassnienta until hi subjects can end blm the price of a passage home. It I possible that the bl-'ycle 0f 1807 will differ radically from the present model In having the chalu aud sprock ets replaced by a shaft with beveled (earing at each end. The Idea la not new, oue firm having placed a cbalule wheel on the market In 18t3; but II product waa too heavy, and the firm went under. However, a number or changes and Improvements have been made In the cheme, aud the company that propose to make chalules wheel next year la confident of auccesa. Such a machine. If It could be mnde light enough, and at the same time strong enough, for practical piirjotie, would do away with many objection to the ehaln-ond-Kprocket device, among . which arc the grent lo In transmitting ; power, tho liability of the chain to -atretcb or break, the rusting and clog- i glng of Its links with dunt, and the oiling of the rider trousers by oil or graphite from tho chain. Englishmen avoid tbl latter by using gear-cases, tint they are too unsightly to please j American rider. 1 The uiiuHiinl manner In which Em peror William feted aud toasted "thrf Czar when the latter was lu (iermuny. and the frigid tone of the latter' re- aponses, have excited universal atten tion In Cermnny. Many of the news paper puiut out that the sentiments of the Uermnu peoplo toward Russia are uot those stated by the Emperor In hla speeches, and that the attention and honor shown tlie Czar are unpre cedented and more effusive than were i. .!.,. Emperor Francis Joseph of Austria. ( The most startling Instance was wheu ! Emperor William telegraphed recalling the Herman fleet of fifty-four vessels from the North Sea maneuvers, and di rected the ship lo proceed forthwith 'o Kiel and parade before the Czar. All aorta of olllclul decoration were grant ed by the Emperor to the Russian vis itor, and covered lu their announce ment almost n page of the Helclisan xelger. The newspaper lake especial exception to Emperor William's speech, ID which he characterized the Russian army A (lie most powerful, aud they - t .. I .. .1.. ...... .l.n, ll. -.... BISO l'Olllniuu oi wn inci mat nu: , rtplle. to Emperor ll Ian, In .rench.i1be ',',,.,, altll0Ugl, thon, when It I well known that bl Husslan , WM J nl8t MuK Jr Umt l)lm(,LlJ majesty speak Cieru.au fluently. 1 he j n The n pnm(j nervou. twitching of the face of the , (luJ wanf gho couJ 8(H, tmt Czar waa noted both at Hr.v.lau and at . ,md l)Ut ono oml,mlltn nliln of ai,oUt Kiel, and It I said that this Is duo . ,,,,,.,., wltl, benra tlmt pLr partly to a nervous affection which re cently declared Itself and partly to a feeling of Insecurity, created by the noticeable and extraordinary precau tions for his safety which were taken by the Government. Sympathy for Two. Mr. Jones stepped lu to ace her next-; door nelghltor Immediately after break fast. "There Is something on my mind that I wish to speak to you about," said Mrs. Jones, "and I feel that you will treat ' tlie matter confidentially. I wish to ask If you beard my husband come home at three o'clock this morning?" j Mrs. Smith admitted that she had. j "Well," continued Mr. Jones, by way of apology, "I am very much dla-; turbed that such a thing should have occurred, especially aa hla cosxlltlon, a you know, was deserving of the ; severest cenaure; but 1 am free to con fcait that thla la the first time he has conducted himself In such a manner, and I can any with reasonable certain ty that It will be the last. I know you will sympathize with me, Mrs. Smith, for I certainly deserve It." ' "Of course," replied Mrs. Smith, nor voualy, "you have my alncereat sym - pa thy, but I feel that I am also to be pitied ou account of the affair." "Why so?" asked Mrs. Junes, lu some wonderment. IHHiuise, misnensi .,1 - M t . O I.I. Mr. Smith, confusedly, "my husband and yours came home together, Mr. Junes." j Electrical Noap. A battery has beeu patented consist ing of a source of electrical energy placed Inside a cake of toilet soap. The device Is Intended for curative appli cations of electricity to the human body. To use the language of the In ventor, "the Invention la based on the fact that the chemical decomposition of soap Is such that when dissolved lu water It produces a liquid having an exciting effect upon certain metallic electrodes placed In proximity to form an electric battery. The arrangemeut of the cle"trxle Is such that they may bo reached by the solution formed In the use of the same, and rtrovldod with terminal on the exterior of tlie soap through which the electric current I transmitted to the person of the user. The elementa of a simple galvanic bat - rv ars used and the effect of tho cur. rent Is Intensified by the additlou of an Induction coll." Philadelphia Record. Needed It. "Who Is that long haired fellow?" j "I rlab Kemtiraudt Itilggs. lie's making quite a name for himself." "I should think he would. If my niMnli hmA trlran m m nnim Ilk Ma I'd bave startMd tt) to mak! one for iuy ! t once." Harper's Basar. ONCE ON A TIME. Once nn time wife's brart bled; The world waa gay, the wrld was kind; But one who should cherish bad spurned Instead, And the day were long and for lure she pined. Ones on a time another came, His voice so low, hit ronls so rich. The bleeding heart of the wife in oaine Felt the poteut sped of the Cupid witch. Once on tim a women thought To repair nn error by one as derp; Little kite recked of tho .-uin wrought From seeds towu only t ars to reap. : Once on a time a month end a day Were spent In lauglito- uud love's sweet ; spell, ! And then came the end, he went away, Caring nothing if she f.ired ill or well. i Once on a time the wife then thought Of the vanished name, 'he fair repute, Qf the spell of happiness Nearly bought. The words of respect :liat fur her were unite. Once on a time there came an hour When slut realized her preat mistake; The sound of uiusic, the sceut of (lower. Did naught but the voice of memory wake. Once on a time when the city slept A frail, fair form to the river's brink. Cowering aud heart weary, closely crept To Hide her shame, no wore, to think. Once on a time all this was true. Fiction no place has ti folly's page; An illicit love was but roru to rue, And surely death Is sin' own wuge. Philadelphia Time. MISS NANCY. November was growing old, and Mis Nancy Camp, who sat nt the window watching the gray cloud shift across the sky lu heavy musses, wished In her aecret heart that It was gone. "Who'd 'a thought It would hev come off so cold after such a warm spell, Nancy?" so Id a voice from the little bed-room that led out of the kitchen. "It's moderating. I reckon It's going to snow," responded Miss Nancy. "It's Jest like the November when Jim Wllmot went out West," coutluued her sister remlnlsccntly. "Yes," was the low response. "'Twaa a real warm Thanksgiving, and then a day or two after It begun ter biiow, aud the 'JStb you remeiuner, Nancy 'twas the time they bad the cle'brntlou In tlie schoolhouse, and you nd Jim went my, how It did blow and sleetl And on Sunday It was ao drifted that Cousin Anne Ciinip alio thet wn a Stevens, you know couldn't git ter meeting. It waa the first time In 'leveu years thet she'd missed hearing Elder Dickon. She felt real bad about It. added Mis Abby. jnHg Nancy drew her choir , ,. nearer to the window and brushed her band across her eyes. Thero waa no sound from the little bed-room for a while. The big, old-fashioned clock on the high ehelf ticked away the minute, and Mis Nancy rocked by the window, with her hands folded in her lap. "There's someone a-comlii' across the old bridge," said Mis Abby, eagerly. "See who It Is, Nancy. Likely ns not It's that school teacher thet boards down ter Foster's, though It don't sound like tlielr team. She must be a powerful sight o' trouble to 'ein." And Nancy pressed her face against hops added a little to his age. "Who Is It, Nancy?" questioned Miss Abby, fretfully. "It nlu't her, Is It? Myl It sounds as If It was coming lu luhere." "I don't know," answered Miss Nan cy. "I.Ike enough he wauts some di rections." "He? Lands! It's a man, then! Be sure to tell him us " Hut there came a heavy knock on the door and Mis Abby subsided. Slowly Miss Nancy crossed the room and turn ed the knob. There was nothing said for a moment. The mau looked steadily at the figure before him; at the simply made woolen dress with It pure white collar and cuffs, the slender, blue-vein-ed hands, the face with Its firm mouth aud faded blue eyes, the hair parted smoothly and with the same little wave In front that he remembered so well, aud the high shell comb that was new to blm. He saw the wrlukles, too, hut he saw no more the years of toll and trouble that must have brought them. All this he noted, aud then held out his band. "Nancy, have you forgotten Jim?" She gave a startled glance Into hi eyes, and a little crimson flush crept ' Into her checks. It reminded blm of the j fnie he had kissed her In the garden back of the house. 1 "Who Is It, Nancy?" whispered Miss i Abby from the bed -room. "Do tell him ter come lu aud shut the door, and I waut some more fennel." "Yes, Abby,'' auswered Miss Nancy, opening her lips with an effort. Jim Wllmot came in aud closed the door softly behind him. is Abby very sick?" he asked. "She hasn't walked for six year," answered Miss Nancy, mechanically taking some fennel out of a dish on the table and going Into the bed-room with It. "Who Is It r whispered Miss Abby t gn In. "Jim Wllmot," responded her sister. "Jim! Lands o' (Joshen! Well, well! Who'd 'a' thought he'd 'a' turn up after all these years. Do tell him to come In here 'fore he goes. Jim Wllmot! Well. 1 never:" Miss Nancy gave a little pat to the ; pM"w. ud then entered the sitting- room Knin. I "If .vou'll stay to supper, you'd better ! rut your horse aud team under the We haven't a hired man now." "Thank you," he said, gladly. She sent blm a little sly glauce as he went out of the door. In a few minutes he was back again, but the talk was a little forced. He told her how rough the life waa out West when he first went; how, after many discouragements, a little prosperity came to blm, and then he came on a i visit to his folks, who told him that they lived together at the Utile bouse. and that Abby was "sVUly." though they didn't know she wo a regular In--nlld. Mix Nancy wondered, looking at the firm chin, and tho bnlr that h id beeu so brown now streaked with gray. If It was not ve ry lonesome out there, and If he had quite forgotten the old days. The clock at lost warned her that she must be almilt her preparations for sup per, and after excusing herself she brought In n dish of oranges to peel. She worked swiftly, though her bands trembled and felt "ill1 thumbs." She trid almost finished her task when an orange slipped out of the dish and roil ed on the lloor. Both stooped to p!c' It up and their hands met. "Dear!" lie s.ihl, holding out bis arm. Mi.v? Nancy gave one glance Into bl lace, so uear her own. nnd In a nmmeut wn crying softly ou bis shoulder. What mattered the year of waiting, the year of toll and trouble? Nothing mattered any more. The clock ticked on and Miss Abby n woke from the little "cat nap" she bud been enjoying. "Nancy!" she called shandy. Miss Nancy started and raised her crlmaon face with Its uew expression from Its resting place. "Walt a minute, dear heart," whis pered Jim. "I want to know when you'll go back with me. I went away to mnko a fortune and a home for you. They're waiting. When will you go?" "When will 1 go?" echoed Mis Nan cy, bewlldcredly. "Nancy!" colled Mis Abby again. "I'm afraid I don't know what you mean, Jim." faltered Mis Nancy. "Why, back out West. I've got a pretty little place there, with thirty acre or so, and nary a mortgage. You'll bnve neighbor, for there' other farms near, and you ahnn't work, Nancy. I'll get a girl." "And Abby?" asked Nancy. J 1 in Wllmot started. "I had forgotten her." he snld help lessly. "Hut Where's the rest of the re lation? Or why couldn't she go to a 'borne' or something?" The flush lu Miss Nancy's face faded and a little line of pain formed around her mouth. "She'd never stand It to leave this place. She's lived here all her life. Jim," she said slowly. There was a silence for a moment, then she continued, steadily: "I shull never leave her; so good good-by, Jim." "And you'll sacrifice yourself and me fer a notion?" he replied hotly. '.'All right, then, I shnn't leave my form and settle down In this humdrum place Jest fer the sake of your sister, (lood by, Nancy." And five minutes after the horse drove ont of the yard aud down the hill while one lonely woman strain ed her eyes for a last glimpse of It, and the gathering flakes of suow were al ready tilling up Its track. She stood there a long while watch ing the sullen clouds and the snow that was coming thicker and faster. Little puffs of wind blew the flakes of snow ngalnst the pane, and Miss Nancy won dered vaguely If they felt unhappy be cause they melted so soon. At last she roused herself nnd went irto the b.'d-room. Miss Abby. tired of railing, bad fallen asleep. She was thankful for the respite, and, going out softly, prepared her own supper and the Invalid's while the wind blew furi ously around the little old house and fairly shook Its foundation. She sat by the fire with her head on her hands long after her sister hud eaten her nipper, and being satisfied with the evasive answers to her many questions had gone to sleep again. Hut the fire hod died down ami It grew chilly lu the little kitchen, so dually she, too, went to her night's rest. It was very bite when she dropped Into a light sleep ana tne morning soon came. The day passed drearily. Miss Abby talked Incessantly of Jim Jim, until her sister felt she should scream or go mad; but she did neither, and was only n little more tender, a little more pa tient. Tlie night set In with a regular snow storm. Miss Abby declared they would be snowed" In by morning. The wind blew down the chimney with monus. like an uneasy spirit. In the morning Miss Nancy was star tled by the darkness In the little rooms. The wlud had blown the snow In big drift against the windows nnd door. What Miss Abby hud feared had come to puss, and they were snowed lu. Hut there was no cause for worry ns yet There was plenty of food In the pantry and wood In the wood hex. There was no stock to suffer, and someone would surely go by before the day was ever aud discover their plight. She lighted her lamp and did her work, though In a rather half-hearted way, and the day passed and no oue weut by, and the snow piled up higher nnd higher around the house. Mis Abby wn very little frightened at their situation. Indeed, her sister hardly knew what to make of her; she seemed a little wandering aud confus ed things strangely. The next day, late In the afternoon, It stopped snowing, but no oue went by. and darkness came on again. Another long night. Miss Nancy left a lamp burning In the kltcheu and theu weut to bed. Very early In the morning she was suddenly awakened by a shout nnd the sound of someone kicking on the side of the house. She hastily dressed aud then entered the sitting-room. "HI!" someone called. "Who Is It?" she asked. "It's me At wood down to the foot of the hill, yer know. Wife was sick and I had to go fer the doctor. He ye snowed In? "Yes. Will you get someone to dig us cut some time to-day?" "All right I'll git Sam, If he'll come, Be back In an hour or two." Miss Nancy sat down and waited The wood was nlmost gone and she was glad Mr. Atwood had discovered their predicament. The clock ha Just struck when she beard a shovel strike the house. "We're here, Nancy be out In shake," said Mr. Atwood. "All right," she answered, and went Into the bed-room to tell Abby. But her sister was sleeping quietly o she tiptoed Met agntu. After au hour's hard shoveling the door opened, and in the gray light of the morning she saw Jim Wllmot rtandlng before her. Mr. At wood, after assuring himself that everything was safe, went around to the drift before . nt work tba window anu mlicr day. l l" s' " " . .7 ' I can't live witb- and come back here. "l".'.. " me?" out yon. .vim,. '-. . . .... .in viiii ma i i j -- SySwUbusTvou shan't he separated. j ..,., ll.lM.n,(irn you'll be homcMcs '" Mill, protested .in" . '.I ';nfLo.ai:tUe,"U8Udmitt'd.'n'' .. vi vioi ror- ,ni,. I.nvcyn.i..vwy - " H what tald the oiuer u.. '.'Vo know I will. Jim." ahe !" whisper. ae,l be ns!e p. a sweet , tUo Hod face, '-sue nan i. , ' , nudows Into tho reality, -ttamiy Magazine. . r " " j .. .1... World. flishct Observaior, The highest penniiiiem im"" ... ......I.lnll flm sum- ,l,scrvatory in ine ,u . mlt of Mont Want wn ""J w,tll lustrunientsa ano -.. There lias been a lem.-u...... there for some years, but the Ju.tr n ifii t have been small ami ui with those now iu power compared I'1'"'0' The establlsumoni ui w" .. .f (Iia nolset tory wa a tnsK wuicu . . n.i tiis (itislaclea seemed llliposmun;, m. which M Jansen. who lieaueu luequu. tet of I'reiieh astronomer, bad to over- o..i,i xiiint Ulane come were uupiuum-".-.. , . i nearly sixteen thousand feet high, nnd It ascent, even under the most favorable condition during tbo sum mer mouths. 1 ditllcult a wen aa uuu- geroll. The transportation of many heavy and dellcato clentlflc Instrument to the top of this loftiest mountain oi me Alps was, therefore, a tauor o greui. 0 to seem oeyouu in r blllty, yet it was aeeompimnea wuuoui the loss of a single life. The telescope oud the other Instrumenis nau w o taken to pieces before being carneu up tlie precipitous mountain sides; even then some of the package weighed a hundred pound, and most of them about fifty. One of the guinea wuo as slated In the work holds the record of i. i-1 in? made tho ascent more tuou five hundred times since the beg djiiim of his professional coreer, anu u wa he who found recently the bodies or . jou sir. u .-ouuuuii., i... -, .. -!he Austrian professor and hla two .he Quick Man. "wll 11 you kindly band guide who lost their lives not long ago. I me your gold watch? A Chinese Dinner Tarty. When A Chinese minister at Wash- Ington gives a formal dinner to any of his countrymen of sufficient rank to be thus honored, or to Japanese visitors, he never falls to go through a curloua n,0 mortar and grasped a sledge ham form of etiquette. mer from the table. Thero was a sound Before taking his scot At the bead of tlie board be approaches the guests, who stand in a line round the table. nml without uttering a syllable pushes each tenderly and playfully and points significantly to the unoccupied post at the head of the table. It Is etiquette for the guesta to ob serve a rigid demeanor, nciiuer speak ing nor moving, and demonstrating by t their Inflexible nttitudes their unwor- j tlilness to occupy the place of honor. This over, tlie minister sinks Into his j chair, nnd uo doubt would have been ; greatly surprised bad anybody taken It. V.. .mi ciinubs nnlll Ilia ll 1 1 II I ut HI" flrntltl n remark, which Is finally taken up and commented upon. I ben tbe chlcr speaks ngaln, nnd more observations ! follow. So It may be said that tbe chair- j man, In a measure, supplies subjects for conversation. Another curious custom at these for- mal dinners Is that after the fish Is i en ten the guesta all rise simultaneously and dust their chairs with their nap kins. The bill of faro Is pretty nearly the same aa would be served at any other foreign legation, with one or two spe cial Chinese delicacies only. Saved by 111 Wit. If a man Is going to play tbe bully be ought to have good muscles or a clever wit. A little adventure luto which oue such braggart stumbled Is thus narrat ed by nn exchange. He waa a small ish man with a large voice. He had a companion who, be It said. to his credit, seemed ashamed of tho company he was In, stood in a hotel rotunda one Saturday night. The little fellow was talking about Ireland, and he said many hard things concerning the country nnd the people. A big man stood by listening to the little fellow's vaporing. He merely smiled until the little fellow said In a very loud tone: "Show me nn Irishman and I'll show you a coward." Then the big fellow ellpped up, and touched the little fellow on tbe shoul der, saying In a heavy bass voice: "What's that you said?" "1 said 'Show me an Irishman and I'll show you a coward,' said the little fellow, whose knees were shaking un der blm. "Well, I'm an Irishman," said the big fellow. "You are an Irishman? Well," and a smile of Joy flitted over the little fel low's countenance as he saw a hole through which be could crawl, "I'm a coward." A Budding- funster. Three-year-old on Staten Island boat What 'at big stone house, mamma? "That's a fort, dear." "What 'ose black tings on top?" "Cannon." "Mamma, what Is they cnnnln' la at house? "New Y"ork Herald. TMn't Grasp the Me. Mother Robert, 1 gave you half an orange, didn't I? Robert Yessusn. Mother-Then why did you steal the half I gave your little sister? Robert-Coz you to.d me to always take her part, boo, boo! Exchange. Krjo.vable Tandem. "Do you etijoy your taudem, Mrs. Desmond?" "Yes. Indeed; Jack nnd I can quar rel on It as well as If we were sitting at borne on tho plar.z.i."-Louisville Courier-Journal. Her bearcat Kriend. Cbolly-How old do you suppose Miss Furbish Is? i.ertnuieT-You might ask mamma. remaps shell remember.-Cleveland JAd.r. THE CONJURER'S REVENQE. K with the Man Who bit credited UU Trick. Got Now ladle and gentlemen," said tho conjurer, "buvlng shown you tbot tbe doth I obsolutely empty. I will pro ceed to toko from It a bowl of Kold-flh. Iieslo!" . . . ii .nn,l the ho 1 people were nyiuB, Oh. how wonderful! How doe. be do It?" . i . r.ut the Quick Man on the front seat raid In a big whisper, w ine vv tear him : "He-hiiu-it up-ius-ierc. Then tho people nodded bright., a the Quick Man, and said: Oh. of course." and everybody w Ispered Klllld sleeve.' the hall: "He-taad-lt-up-ula Me next trick," said the conjurer. -i. ti.n fnmous Hlniloostanee rings. You will notlco that the rings are ap parently separate; at a blow they all Join (clung, clang, clnng)-rresto!" There was a general buzz of stupefac- tlon till tho Quick Man wo iieiiru io whisper: "Ik'-must-bave-had-anotlier- lot-up- hls-sleeve." . i.. .H.,l litr u-hlph I win n niosi ainusioK m "j inn enabled to take uny number of eggs from a hot Will some gentleman klud- Iv lend me his bat? Ah, thank yott- l'resto!" , , He extracted seventeen rB, " thirty-five second the audience began lo think ho was wonderful. Then tho Quick Man whispered along the front i.o.w.i, "llP-lins-a-lien-un-iiis-sieevr. a ml all the peoplo whispered Itou. "He I as n-lot of hens-up-hls-sleeve." The egg trick was ruined. It went ou like that all through. II transpired from the whisper of tbe Quick Man that tbe conjurer must have concealed up bl sleeve. In addl i.on to tbe rings, bens and fish, several ! pack of card, a loaf of bread, a doll's cradle, a live guinea-pig. a flve-shllllng ' piece, and a rocklng-chalr. J The reputatlou of the conjurer was rapidly sinking below zero. At the close of the evening be rallied for a (mat effort. "Ladles and gentlemen," be said, "l will present to you In conclusion, the 1 A l ..1. ..Anlitlv InPflfll. , ramou. aa, '"'i '"V . .- .": " ''.,, j "Have I your permission to put It Into : .i,H mortar and pound It to piece?" be ! tsked. savagely. , The Quick Man nodded and smiled. j r, conjurer threw the watch -tto cf violent smashing. 'He s-suppeii-ii- vp-hl sleeve, wuispereo me vim Man. "Now, sir? continued the conjurer, "will you allow mo to take your hand kerchief nnd punch holes In It? Thnnk you. You see, Indies and gentlemen, there Is no deception, the holes are vis ible to the eye." The face of the Quick Man beamed. This time the real mystery of tho thing fascinated blm. "And now, sir, will you kindly pass me your silk hnt and allow me to danco j tn 11 Thank you." conjurer mnde a few rapid I lilt passe with his feet, nnd exhibited the l.ii t crushed beyond recognition. "And will you now, sir, take off your collar and permit me to burn It lu the candle? Tbiink you, sir. And will you allow me to smash jour spectacles for ;ou with my hammer? Thank you." By this time tho features of the Quick Man were assuming a puzzled expres sion. "This thing beats me," be whis pered; "I don't see through It a bit." There was a grent hush upon the au dience. Then tlie conjurer drew him self up to his full height, and, with a withering look at tho Quick Man, be concluded: "Lndles nnd gentlemen, you will ob-c-orve that I have, with this gentleman's icrmloslon, broken hla watch, burned his collar, smashed bla spectacles, and danced on his hat. If be will give me further permlrslon to paint green stripes on bis overcoat, or to tie his braces In a knot, I shall be delighted to entertain you. If not, tbe perform ance Is at nn end." And amid a glorious hurst of music from the orchestra, the curtain fell, and the audience dispersed, convinced that there are some tricks, at any rate, that are not done up the conjurer's sleeve. A Traveler's Story. There are few men who are able to keep perfectly cool In the hour of dan ger, no matter bow well they have prepared themselves In advance for action. I have always been afraid of hotel fires, and on my very first trip provided myself with a knotted rope sixty feet long. One night there were four of us boys occupylug two beds In a room in a Southern hotel, which had a crush of guests. Our room was on tlie fourth story, and each one of us got out our ropes before going to bed. We also went out Into the hall and located the stairways and elevator. At one o'clock In the morulng the ho tel caught fire In the kitchen, and all the guests were aroused. Our quar tette lost no time, but prepared to act One man whipped tbe sheets off the two beds, tied them together, ran the length of the hall and lowered himself down the opening of the freight ele vator. A second seized his trunk, dragged It down one flight of stairs and left It. threw his coll of rope out oi ine window WltllOIlt atnnn nr in ...v ........... milium Bwppiiig fasten tbe end, and then ran Into hall and Into a room at the far end it, ami was found In a wardrobe after the flro had been extinguished. I wa the coolest of tbe lot, I threw ud a window, made the hook of mv rone fast and slid down to the street amid tbo Jeers of the assembled populace. You see I had only to cross the roof to another window to step out on the roof of a store level with the sill, and the assembled populace couldn't under stand why I should prefer to monkey with the rope and burn the skin off my hands till I wa a cripple for sis weeks. Tho Wandering Fish. Tbe Baltimore Sun prints the follow ing: "A skeleton of a flsh Is prized very highly a a curiosity by Mr. Au gustus Benolt of the little two-masted 1 schooner Ernest Dacosta of Halifax, which arrived yesterday from the West Indies. Tbl I,' said Mr. Benolt, Again everybody noduea anu wu- pear transparent, with tlie br i.ered: "Tlic-rliig-were-up-bis-leeve." fonn outlined within It.' yT Tho brow of the conjurer wa cloud- skeleton had been excised, Mr .jl? i d with a gathering frown. shook It. nnd from It came i (y? i wilt now." he continued, "show sound. The fish Is sixteen v 1 1 - , . . of what Is known a the ' ' .' "an. ut then, ore Uot Ulf . Tta other specimens tlle name has been nppiu a tb u 1 Tl" few have been ,U,r,,d , l?"" fill feature Is that o tho 1m skeleton there I a per fee ' the scene ou Calva v bUllln of . '' The "arli,.. ,udlm( ( . 'and ,, ' dor, Is plainly marked v ,e of'tl)e J Nr the lef, h(.nrt A1)0ve heart n .,.. """ the vertebrae forms a croun .. SUr Strlklllg of tboru , rp r. Bi ton. With arni ex.en, ! ! b' It. tended a i. i" Ing benediction, the n , "'"ifo.. I presented. The ornntnemj,,' the vestments Is dell....i.. "l0'. lie none, the cross m,,, - by aenms running up nn, down 7 tbe back of the chasuble Th. h'?" is bareheaded, but his mitre u plied by a part of tho skeleton !" Is fitted over the hen.l of th iT Another bono makes the crozler w i Inn the skeleton up to the Ibi,,' l half Inches long.' Kllled the Hear. "While traveling through th( r " , "' -ncle D i"""llu; ieu a,, black bears than any other man k tbe South," said n well-known Wj Ingtonlan who Is fouj of bumJoj. k "i1"' "I spent the night at Unclt n,D'( cabin listening to stories of the ? n.ln.. .. !, ..1.1 1 mints,' as iuv uiu ovarii er them.' "Did you ever get In a ter; d place with a bear?" I asked. "I reckon I hev. The ckwtt pU I over got Inter war 'bout ave; jnw I reckou. I went ncrost th' monmim to a speakln' au' cum back bow tv hours by sun. I war thlnkln' nbctlw Ifd pay me most ter vote for urij git mo' fer my 'baccer or as!n tirl ter glv less fer my clo'es, hni U of a suddent I seed a varmint. I dldn' hev no gun, nothln' but a pocttt knife, an' It tied both blades brie. o they wa'u't uo use. The bir N me an' seemed ter sense tlm I dllil hev nothln' with me but niy Hitiu' started fer me. I seed he wic't tat ole ter climb trees, so I headed (or i leetle tree stamlln' on a ledge like. ( got thar 'bout th' same time, in' I clitu fas', but be cum right alonf. U war a straight poplar, an' not big Vi ter hoi' a b'ar an' a man. It Depute ben', and" I went on blither, fcrfi' th' b'nr's breath on my feet Tb'ca bended over an' I dropped ter tV groun', 'bout ten foot below, iptcS' ter hev a ban' ter ha a' fight with b'ar. "Mebbo I wn'n't s'prlscd ter see th! thar tree straighten up th i tea when I let go. Th" b'ar war In bj th' right place, an' when th' w sprung back It throwed 'lm tlm:(l th' air an' he lit squar on bl M again a big rock. He never moted I went an' got 'tin. We ate'laia I sol' his skin, but I don't never tout 'lm when tcllln' how many l're.k!M fer I didn't zaekly kill 'hn. Ww say ho happened ter ra aeccrJeai" Singular Sea Kc-ptllofc Tho sting ray, a member of tbe Aa family. Is a dangerous Inhabitant t Florida water. The largest ipedmsJ of the kind, weighing from WOtoM pounds, live at great depths, and in seldom found iushore, but raji ft thirty to forty pounds are often enc tored near the land, and natives e elder them to be fully s danero tho octopus or the much-dreadelks shark. The flsh la a large, broad, Hat-Dew creature, with eyes of a golden tints sharp, spearlike appendage at tbe of the back nnd a long, iw" that reminds one much of a blactsnw ..kin Thin M-iito tall servesaar with which an enemy may Britl soed.and then the barbed l!ne the work by lacerating the victim frightful manner. The sting W villainous creature from n P; now and has no friends InthUorU other latitude. In the Atlantic ocean be "eei shores of the Bahama Mrt Florida const there lives ture known ns the glauctn. o r .. ...i.i,., if ever, found ft urn. n is i" ,,.jMnlI the land, but seen to prof rW or nnd a hot sen. mi1! strong current exists. tU that this portion of the fj crowdedlu between the BJ Florida, is very rapid, and thJJ conditions so favorable to th ard arc here to bo i.. ..turn-here In ,M ' worm. . , ...iihuf A a substitute '0"Jf"L broom-shaped fans, and from middle of the body, lm '! there are several more An tw out like a fan. "" J. .. m Pari Horse OoUi ' 3 Machinery Is '"'? "L0n! Mll"u"' ., ,hs tram"' horse traction on the 1 .1 bf4, Already there are steam ', s-do of the Seine, from the Versailles, and from tbe to various points. '" trW trnctlon, either i llnei Is In contemplation on otuer Gout from Met ' It Is estimated that on f I.-OL-hind suner' . io population ... -r- Fenian'1, the A Berlin physician. I r. of that this malady I rt excessive use of A Groin ..v r COW' Brown I see t -I Bl'C " r,,Jli ' ... ll,! tors were au.ieu '"',, will -' night. I wonder ps Smlth-tict peoi' duty.-BrooklyJ- Dlok-She evident.) f tol .... vontWa1'. ; jess-What 'V1S fi' " Dick-She said I T v lender JlZ There I one thou that makes ew lt(4 -her Kor kin must be wedding. j rTTtat Everyone Is U " :,rl who will think be is " "" snowing h i nn,. .... .