mm lW5ooooooooooooooooooooo: DADDY JOHN'S f-uiKKE bad been n royal 11 jP jfmMy John's rul)ln, nud IX was t 111 a great bed of glo I ii hi daughter Liz cnllei f innrr Paddy warmed liU liml been n royal flru In there lowing I'd lilm . iiiimiv unruled urn iiii.i. . . i 1.1.1 ...i,. f. buii.U ot tho flro nml the sw.-c . of the mm polio nml the fin ot the coffee were very pleas Jut to him. His old. wizened In. o (rrinklfl into something uiennt for a .n tm" . . Mnr'l l,ny..ni.," "Tlie ilociur wui.i.iu - - (.I'll It on juiu i j ""k' " .iilled LI. "'r 1,,rk weather U0U.il .. - ..... r........... 'm M""'- -Cuiiii' mi ''in oiiiuer, uiMi, " Tin nconiiu , ijiiin.-ivu mi' .i...... Ltterlug forward aud pulling nlotr,' " 'fl, splint chair. "Whnr tnei piece er sauun- lilmi- ,.?" lie croaked. I lied It it rldlu' Pomp," declined J""1- .. ..... Voll fit It Uilgniy quica, sum imp '""'r- ... ,kI brought 0 tattered aiiecpshin .I... old innti carefully loli hi I in She chair nnd then sat down. Tlmt part f Pnddy John1 appaid 1,1, It nunc In contact w ith tin l p ikln was ho iitt.-iiunted im to fabric I lint the Interposition of the worn lleece ran must comforting. "I've got ter hcv some new noes, x:i Ul Paddy, presently. Klio lucked nt Hud. "Itml wants some new rloVs powerful ,q,. too. hilt he enta Serb n heill). 'pears like I enyu't never git him noun. ' Hud kin Bit iTlong," wiiu tne oi.i twin, testuy. "Don't vou reckon the doctor won:- iu'd not eloYs lu her imr'l?" asked I.I.. I reckon. Itut incbby ther uiu t miry ftlilng fi-r mo." Kf you should go up tlmr I ain't er goln'," Interrupted the old h,!in n iiioki nuuruv. imw num- pn's al'n.vs been pood ter we litis nu' I don't hIiii ter nx her rer nry tiling. 1 1 1h feeble baud trembled 08 he took bp IiIh torn but. She Rot ideiity of everytliinc. aiu Liz. milleiily. "It don't differ. I nln't goln'I" Piiddy Johu went out. , I!iil nl'nys whs er fool!" unwed Mx. nlie lit her pipe. "Vou go nn' help yer grnnihiJ pick BP tntew" she called to Dud. I Bud. sauntering lazily toward I ho po tato bank, Raw somebody swinging Slmig the mountain toward the cubli.. "Jhnr'8 the doctor womau's nigger r eotnlu' ntter you, grandad," be called. I Paddy John set bis spade down bard pud leaned forward on the handle. 1 "Couiln' ntter me? louse a I'linn kljlt. Hud j Hut he stared from under his shaggy brows and breathed hard as the baud-. iome yellow womnu came up, I "Howdy, Sally!" .ti .. T.I.IH "Howdy. Daddy John. Hauklu up yer taters?" I "I reckon." 4 He was shaking all over and felt U V. I "Got some permnters j it, daddy? HV ie some! I waut a permater pie, I loes." V'Vls, yis," said the old man, aliorlly. "Doctor wants you to come up Miar, iMy. She's got suiuUu fer you'se out- her bar'l." Vessum. I'll come alter I git my tors done banked up." Sally started off with her tomatoes. Tell her I'm obleeged to her," caiu-l ddy's cracked voice. "What my missis wants to throw way good clo'es on that pore wblto ish fer, I don't know," grumbled Sal . "Mo and Jake could er make use nil o' tliem things." Daddy John went on with his work. "Alu't yer er goin', grandad?" cried ml. t' VIs, I'm er goln' right now." He toddled off to the cabin, washed lis bands at the porch and dried them ?u a bit of burlaps. The doctor was latching for the old man. He feave a jueer pull at his tattered hat brim as le came near. j "Howdy, Paddy Johu! I'm -lyht ;lad to see you. Come In!" He stood at the edge of the hearth, fuzing at the barrel. The doctor siuil- il. Your hat Is getting pretty old, da Id.'. he brim Is torn and there's such a big iole In the crown!" "Yessuui. Hit's plum worn out, sure uff." "Never mind," said the doctor. "I iave such a nice cap for you," showing i to blm. "Made of soft fur and with sr lappets to tie down." The old face altered. It lost ten ronry years. "Try It on, daddy! Now, Is It uot lice? You won't freeze your poor cam his winter." "No, ma'am! Tbank'ee, ma'am. I eckon I'd better go now." ! "Walt a bit. You need some shoe Inddy. Here are some good ones." "Mighty fine shoes, mighty fine." Bumbled the old man. "Now, you need some soft wnrm locks. Here they are. You want to ?ut them on, don't you? Come In here. And now I must go go oh, yes go to Jeed my chickens. But there's one thing tiore. Here Is a Dice pair of trousers!" uoctorr It's all rleht Daddv! Thev will 3'ist Dt you, I'm sure." i Such a droll figure awaited the doc tor's return. A little gray old man, his ,mall spindle legs rattling around In Jlie fine black trousers, bis ragged, fad fd calico shirt abashed In such corn- soy. He looked at her speechless. Is wrinkled face working. ene smiled at him. "I have a vest here for vou. Paddy. na 1 11 gire you a clean white shirt to ke home." I "Doctor!" the old man gasped. "1 Wyn't " "Don't worry. Daddy. Try on the test" 1 Pot It on, tugging weakly at the NEW CLOTHES "Jem w lint I UiM-dcd," be muttered, hiiHklly. "Vou look very nli-e, PinMy. There's only one thing mure, and line It la the tlucHt. wannest eoat lu IIiiuihuiIk County." Hhc held It up by the kIioiiIJit and drew it on. "Now, In not that n lovely eoat'" He stroked the hoft . Intli gently, pull ing nt the friiiim wlfti Lis tubby lin ger. "It's lined with ullk," said .the doe tor. "Paddy. I Klioul.lu't know you." lie looked down at hlinnelf in a'dazed way. Then he started. "I'd better go home now." he said, hurriedly. "I never had nary suit o' cIoVh afore. Cod bless ye, doetur." He caught her hnml. "I'm so glad to give them to you. Paddy." she wild softly, with tear. The next day Jule I'raley came up to tueiid the roof and while he warim-d himself at the tire be told i.ie story of Paddy's return home. "We wux a pullln' corn, nie so' I.lz an' Hud, on' I ee the old mnn er com In' dowu tlie bill, an' I nays: 'Look you, LI! Is thet yer dad? "'Xaw!' kiij ... "Thet ain't dad. Look like ole Preaehcr Freeman. "Sure nulT-ho did look pint blank like ole Preacher 1'rceman. An' we watched 'im tell be cinssiil the branch, an' when he ell in' up the bank he stag gered a bit yer know daddy's mighty oiiNtlibly on bis legs ou' 1 'kuowcd who bit was, an' I said: " ' Tl yer daddy, Liz.' An' Liz were plum outdone 'at she didn't know her own daddy." concluded Jule, Indulging lu one of those silent laughs peculiar to bis kind. lie went up on the roof presently and lL' doctor came out to overlook the work, always charmed In to lingering by the wonderful beauty of the landscape. The house Kit upon one of the foothills of the great Appal achian range, east of the I'retieh Proud. Looking west one saw a wood ed, undulating country, rolling away to the valley and there stayed by the mas sive wall of a great mountain that rose far into the blue. Along the mountain side the railroad made Its way over high trestles and red clay euibank melit, and at times one caught the sound of the whistle, the rumble of wheels nnd saw the train rush along, small lu the distance like a child's toy. All at once there was a shout and at the same Instant a shot rang out. "Thar's a convict got off," erled Jule, when the doctor appeared. "1 saw him jump off the tralu." The doctor shivered. "And they didn't stop?" "Wbv, no, but the guard fired on him. I They'll send a party back when they gits to Hlltmore, an' offer rfHH) reward fcr him, likely. Pou't I wish I c d git It.' Will he get caught, do you think?" "I reckon. They gln'ally does. He's tuk ter the woods now. They ol'ays does when they makes a break. Hut he'll git an outing, anyhow. Dog goned ef I blame 'Im." "Mr. Farley, where do they go wheu they escape like that?" "They lays In tho woods. Mebby they know niggers that'll feed 'em and give 'em clo'es. They're al'ays lu a mighty hurry to git shot o' their striped suit, an' ef they do sometimes they git away fer good." Paddy John eame once to visit tho doctor, wearing bis new clothes, and then he paid visits to all his kinsfolks nnd old neighbors, nnd the queer, pa thetic figure In the fine black suit, weakly climbing over the hills, became a familiar sight. Then one night a terrible calamity befell, and tho next morning It was known all over the settlement that "Paddy John's new clo'es 'at come In the doctor womau's bar'l had been stole." Horsemen riding to town drew rein and discussed the theft for hours. Kv ery other woman put on her suulionnet and called on her next neighbor, and then the two went together to see Pad dy John. So It happened that when the doctor arrived she found tho bouse so full that two of the women rose and sat on the floor to offer her a chair. There was a curious stillness In the bouse. One of the women whispered: "Hit's Just like a buryln. only thar ain't no corpse." Paddy John was sitting by the Are, huddled together, the picture of mis cry. "I've lost my uew clo'es," he quaver ed. "I'm so sorry, Paddy John," said the doctor, taking his bard, bony, hand. . "I never bad no new clo'es afore," he croaked, piteously. A few frosty tears dropped on his grizzled cheek. Liz took up a corner of her apron and wiped her eyes. All the other women dipped snuff. "They wuz sech Due clo'es!" mused the old man. "The coat bed a silk Un lit'. Doctor said It war silk. An' the purtlest buttons!" "An" them clo'es could a' lcn fixed up fer Bud when dad got done with em." said Liz. The old man paled with sudden pns sion. "I ain't er goln' ter git done with "em!" he sahL In a high voice. "Bud shan't hev 'em. Doctor woman give 'em ter me. I never bed no new clo'es afore. But I alu't got 'em now. They're stole." He broke down Into tearless sobs, that shook the old chair. "Don't cry, Paddy!" all the women called In uiilson, and they shed a few perfunctory tears and passed the snuff boi around. "You don't use terlmcro In any form, do yer, doctor?" asked one. The doctor admitted that she did not. and they looked steadily at ber. trrlni? to realize the phenomenon. Weeks passed and Daddy still crooned over the fire In utter dejection, uiu age, novelty and loneliness, unhappy trio, wcr his sole comDanlona. It was now believed that the eluthM woutJ nsvsr lie re.-overi'd, Out In the woods one frosty morning a heavy f1M1t rrusbtil Into the dead leave, and a bin chestnut, foiling, struck the owner of the foot on the nose. lie raked hi bbu k face toward the tris'tup. "Hi: pry's drapplu' nil dn tlms now, an' dey n heap better'n co'u." lie sat ,iWii lii bis tracks and tilled his pocket and shirt fruut, eating vo raciously the while. "Iteckon I'd better be gwlue now," he said presently. Itlslnit, be picked his way. like a cat, thmiiijli the underbrush, climbing con lamly till lie reached a ot where a huge bowlder cropped out and over hung the mountain side. It crest com-niiinili-il the whole vulley, and It shelv ing underside umdo a cozy shelter. Tblik pine crowded up ii lid concealed the entrance. The convict bad lceu so sharply liimt.-.l that he bad been un able to cMcapv frmn tlie uelghlMirhood, ni'..l It was lu tlie lioblne of despera tion that he bad chosen his retreat so m ar the State road that he could hear I lie voices of tlie country folk as they passeil tu nnd from town. lie sat dow n to cogitate. "F-f I could git word to Kosy. or git to Uosy, I'd Is nil right; but. Lordy! I cau't do unry one on 'em." The train whizzed out from a cutting ami whistled sharply as It tore along. The negro grinned with pleasure. He was so uiueli a savage that this nomad ic exist, nee, though bunted and tortur ed by fear, was sweet to blm. "Howdy, geiiinieu:" be chuckled, as. peering through tlie pine Isiitghs, he recognized some of hi fellow-convict on tlie train. "Pun't you wish you was me? Plenty grub, benp o' new clo'es and no work to do. Ho, bo!" He rose and drew out a bundle, undid it, viewed it contents with a series of laughing explosions, and then present ly doffed his strlKd suit nnd arrayed himself anew. ".Mighty line clo'es fer a fac'; cost a heap o' money." He softly patted bis limbs, twisted his tiii k to get a glimpse of his back, and creased nil his black face Into olio big smile. A mirror would have made hi rapture perfect. "Itosy won't know nie In deso yere. She'll tek me fer a preacher Jest from confunce." He changed back to hi striped suit and tied up bis bundle. A sharp wind sprang up aud drove before It Icy drops of rain. "(Solly!" muttered the darky. "Alu't It cold? I'll resk a tiro arter dark." Down to the doctor's farm everybody was hurrying to get the crops under shelter. Tho last load had gone In' when Jule I'raley looked up at the sky. The clouds were rolling up like a cur tain, showing the far mountains a deep, intense blue etched with an amber sky. "Diirucd ef It's going to storm, after all," said Jule. Suddenly he straightened himself. "Hud!" he called shandy. "Look you on the mountain. Ain't thet smoke?" Hud could see as far as an ludlan. "Yes. Thefs smoke." "Tlier' alu't no house thar?" "Naw. Nary bouse." Jule walked away briskly. Two hours later Ave men parted the umbra goons pines aud tip-toed cautious ly toward a small opening under a great rock on the mountain side. A whiff of warm air stole out to them. A great bed of coals glowed redly, and, with his feet to tho fire, a uegro In convict dress lay sound asleep. The men had their guns ready. One pointed his piece upward and a shot tore through the tree tops. The uegro wus on bis feet lu an instant. "We've got you!" said one. lie looked from one to the other and his dark face grew a shade lighter. "I surrender, geinmeu!" he said, calmly. Shortly after this event Daddy John reappeared lu his new clothes. He wore them almost constantly for a few week, and then they were suddenly ro tlred from public observation, and Dad dy went about looking as If the scare crow lu the cornfield had stepped down from bis perch and toddled off to seek winter quarters. The doctor was puz zled. When, nt last, slio questioned Jule Fraley, Jule shook his bead mys teriously. "I reckon I kin tell yer ef yer won't be put out about It." "Well, well! Do so!" "I reckon," In a hushed voice, '"at he's keepln' of 'em ter be burled In." New York Tribune. A Publlo Reservoir. i I saw an Interesting sight while In Venice. Filtering a little square shut In by high houses, aud, like most Vene tian squares, dominated by the unfin ished facade of a tlmc-stalued church, I noticed a singular activity among the people. They were scurrying In from every alley, aud hastening from every house door, with odd-shaped copper buckets on hook-ended wooden bows, and with Ilttlo colls of rope. Old men and women, boys, and girls, ' all gathered closely about a covered well curb In the mlddlo of the square; nnd still they hurried on, until they stood a dozen deep around It. Pres ently the clock In the church tower slowly struck 8, and a little man forced his way through the crowd, passed his ponderous Iron key through the lid, and unlocked the well. There Immediately ensued a scene of great activity. The kettles went Jan gling Into It, and came slopping out again at nn amazing rate, and the people trudged off home, each with a pair of them swung from each shoul der. The wells are deep cisterns, which are filled during the night, and It la out of amiable consideration for those who love their morning nap that they are given as good a chance as their neighbors of getting an unsolled sup ply. It Is the first Instance that has come to my notice of a commendable municipal restraint um the repre hensible practice of early rising. I found, on closer Investigation, that the water was of excellent quality. i Insects on Hawaii. j Prof. Albert Koeliele, of California, has made a three years' contract with the Hawaiian Government to destroy the Insect pests of the islands. Ills method Is to get Insects harmless to man to kill noxious Insects. j A school teacher goes through a book or uewspaper looking for grammatical errors with aa much fierce Interest u a mother goes through her boy's bead. .fMlr Pollit I'rlr.ilruiti. It Is reported lu Science that M'i slcur Do Huiny. a French naval oitl cer, ha luveuted a process by which petroleum can be converted Into :m!1. blocks, as bard a antlir.iche .'.in I. Common petroleum oil, It U asserted, ha been thus sollditled, and the block, In burnlug give off Intense heat and are slowly consumed. (Hie ton of sol'd petroleum used a fuel Is said to Ik equivalent to thirty ton of coal. The comparative cost of the two forms of fuel Is not given. Mraalirlnu Wind by Musi.-. Pr. Carl Hani ha recently shown how the velocity of the wind can be reckoned by noting the musical pitch of tlie sound given out when wind blow across a stretched wire. The principal elements ou which tlie calcu lation I based are the diameter of Hie wire and tho temperature of tho air. Tlie length of the wire I Imma terial, to lung ns It Is not clmng.'d. Kvery variation In the wind's velocity I faithful represented by the rising er falling of the pitch of the note sung by the wire. Giant riant on Monntaina, Recent explorers of the Caucasus Mountains have reported the existence there of a peculiar race of gigantic herbaceous plants growing at a height of i.early tt.iMni f0Pt alsjve sea-level. Plant belonging to the same botanic families, but growing at the bottom of the valleys below, do not attain an extraordinary size. For Instance, a specie of campanula -our ordinary harebell I a campanula grows only two feet high In (lie valley, but on the mountains it reachc a height of six feet, and It stem becomes thick aud rigid, like that of a small tree. Arm Irs nn Ire. Army engineers In various countries have calculated the thickness of Ice necessary to sustain certain weight. Ice two Inches thick I deemed strong enough to bear a man's weight, ac cording to a summary of the army rules on this subject published In "Fn glneerlng Mechanics," and on such Ice Infantry may inarch If the distance be tween each man I properly spaced. Cavalry and light Hold gun can rros Ice four Inches thick. Slx lncb Ice will sustain heavy Ibid guns; eight Inch Ice artillery batteries with horses; and ten-inch Ico "an army or an Innu merable multitude." (n fifteen-Inch Ico railroad have been laid aud oper ated for months at a time. The Flunrnacnpe. Mr. Thomas A. Edison has Invented an apparatus, called the H Horoscope, by the aid of which a surgeon, In stead of photographing with the X ray the bone or other hard substance concealed under the skin aud llesh of a patient, may actually see them. The machine depend for Its action upon the fact that the X rays possess tlie property of rendering luminous certain substances, which chemist, call fluorescent. Mr. Kdlson llrst deter mined, by experiment, that the best fluorescent substance for this purpose was calcium tungstate. The tungstate Is spread In a smooth layer upon a piece of pasteboard which forms the bottom of a small box, having holes for the eyos at the upper end. A Crookes tuUv, enclosed lu another box, Is excited by a current of electricity, nnd If the hand, for Instance, Is to be eramlned, It Is placed upon the box containing the tulie. The observer then looks Into the viewing box, whost tungstate-covered bottom I placed di rectly above the hand, and sees, with startling distinctness, the hone nnd joints, showing as dark and delicately graduated shadows, while the flesh I only faintly visible. The reason the bones appear Is because they Inter cept the X rays, and thus prevent tho tungstate surface from becoming fluor escent where their shadows full. The Kanner of the Ktin. The expedition which will go from the Lick Observatory to observe the eclipse of the sun In Japan next Au gust will carry a novel photographic machine to picture the great coronal streamers that are seen around the sun when Its globe Is hidden behind the moon. The sun's corona has bis'ii pho tographed during previous eclipses, hut a It light is much stronger near tho sun than at a greater distance, the photographs have Invariably been over exposed for the brighter part of the phenomenon when so timed ns to catch tho Image of the fainter parts; and, conversely, tho outer portions of the streamers have bn'ii lost In tlie photo graph when the exposure ha been made short enough to give a good Im age of the bright Inner portion. Mr. Burckhalter, of tlie Cliabot Observa tory, Oakland, who will accompany the expedition referred to. thinks be lias contrived a machine that will equalize the exposure for all parts of the corona, and thus enable him to get a perfect photograph of the won derful display around the sun dining tlie eclipse. The principal feature of his Invention is a rotating diaphragm, driven by chx-kwork and provided with a peculiarly shaped hole for the pas sage of the light, whereby the faint outer part of the corona will get a much longer exposure than the brill iant Inner part Astonishing Matemrnt. A certain woman novelist writes !n so nmnsing a fashion that the ninny blunders which mar her work are not discovered by Hie critical. In one of ber novels will be found a horse win ning the Derby three years In succes sion; guardsmen sitting up all night drinking bard, smoking perfumed cig arettes, gambling for fabulous sums, and starting forth In the morning after breakfast of ortolan and green Char treuse, fresh as daisies and prepared to do deeds of prowess In the bunting fl.ld or at the cevert side; and that great feat, too, performed by a man I "" " " ,v i a "tawny mustache ami (lank I :i greyhound," who, while slils ' with like riiootlng, espies un cattle, " a dim mh k 1 III III.' I'lbeleal vault." What cares be that bis caiiiiil.'es only contain tiny ' snipe shot? He bung uway Willi llil tniug it t tit. and "slowly t!u king .if blnls, with bis glorious pinion out. Mretcbed, sinks nt bis feet a coii.'." Ill another of ber Ismt-s a geiiilemiin performs n similar feat, but this time, lor the sake, f variety, with a rllle bul let. An F.ugllHh novelist. In describing river side people .iys. "They go lo church but three times lu their lives-, when they lire baptized, when they a"e mar lied, and when they are buried.' It ' U otlly people lu Hovels w ho go to be biiiic.l .luring ib.lr lives. Mr. IthbT lliugnrd. In bis "King Soloiimii's Mllies." made an eclipse of the moon take place at the new moon instead of at the full, when the earth Is IhIvc.:i the sun and the moon. STANLEY AND THE CONGO. The I '.rent : i.torcr Telia of II la Klrat Journey Down the Hlvrr. The geographical world was anxious to kitow what was this mysterious river the quest of which had occupied Liv ingstone's declining years. Tlie Loudon Pally Telegraph Joined with the New York Herald In defraying the cot of till second expedition. Tlie story of how I set out a second time from Zanzibar, circumnavigated the Victoria Nyanza. discovered Lake Albert IM ward, voyaged atouii.l Lake Tangan yika, and reached Livingstone's far thest point Nyaiigwe--ou the banks of the l.nalali.i. lias been told lu de tail In my book "Through the Park Continent." it nic relates bow, after a tedious land Journey parallel with the river, I made ready my I'ngllsli boat, collected nbout a score of native canoes, embarked my follower, and how, after a course of nearly I.nmi mile, we reached tlie Atlantic Ocean at tho mouth of the Congo. Hy this river v ova no the question which had puzzled Livingstone for eleven year was solved. It I a noticeable fact that w hen I ls'gtin my descent of the Congo I was the only white man excepting my companion. Prank Focock -lo be found between the Zambesi nnd III.' It.ihr el Chnzal, and between Zanzibar and the luwer Congo. It may easily lie umlerstooil why, on returning from the discovery of the great African waterway, I should be auxlou that Kngliiiiil should avail her self of It. In lSltl P.ngland had dis patched a naval expedition under (.'apt. Turkey to ascend the Congo, but It ter minated disastrously lis l miles Inland. In Is;;! Cnpt. (Sramly, another F.ngllsh ottlcer, had attempted the task. In 1S70 Admiral Hewitt' .x,ieHlon bad suppressed the pirate of the Uwer Congo. For over sixty year Knglaml bad kept watch over the Congo slaves. Half of the expenses of my expedition bad been contributed In Kiiglainl. She was nlso rich, tender, and Just toward tne natives, and her people were the Ix-st colonizer In the world. All these fact were, In my opinion, claims that might Justify Fngland in stepping for ward aud taking possession. --t.'ei'Miry. Training the Hainan Tody. By those who will exercise the re qulslle patience, the body and Its vari ous functions inny be brought under perfect roinioainl. Even the vital func tions of the body inny be affected. There bavo been not a few exhibitors wbo could actually control tlie heart bent, making their pulses noticeably slower or faster according to their pleasure. The seemingly miraculous feats of acrobat are simply the result of continually placing particular set of muscles under complete control of the will. We should do well to try to appreciate how Important, to our phys ical being nt least, the gaining of a complete control over bodies may be. The student who ha before blm a dif ficult pnssage or problem must, if he would succeed, exerclKo'sutrloleiit will force to place everything else lu bis mind second to Hie task before him. It Is much the same In our dally life. Mul titudes of petty thing tend to make us forgot our purpose lu living, and if we are to rise above them, we must remember to unburden our minds of the "worries" that we may have room for the "realities." We must shun ex citement of every kind. We must live an even, temperate life; and we can do this easily enough If we have gained perfect conl rol over ourselves. Not Quite Correct. In telling a Joke, II I well to under stnnd It thoroughly. A party of men were wont to amuse themselves nt table by relating anecdotes, conun drums, etc. Mr. Archer was always greatly delighted at these Jokes, but be never related anything himself, and being rallied nu (lie matter, he deter mined that tlie next time be was called upon be would say something amusing. Accordingly, meeting one of tlie wnlt era soon afterward, lie asked him If he knew any good Jokes or conundrum. Tho waiter Immediately related the following: "It I my father's child, and my mother's child, yet It Is not my sister or brother," telling blm at the same time that It wa himself. Mr. Archer Isire tbl In mind, nnd nt the next mooting of bis friends propound ed It. "It Is my father's child, nud my mot her child, yet it I not my sister or brother," throwing a triumphant glance ni omul the table. "Then it must be yourself," said one of the company. "I've got you now," said he; "you are wrong this time; It Is the waiter." A shout of laughter Interrupted Archer, viio perceiving the mess he bad got Into, acknowledged his error, and told the company that be would pay for the ' wine. It was hi last effort. Working; Their Way. I Pining the past summer a number of Mudoiit who nre working tli.ir way; through the Philadelphia colleges ob tained employment a car conductoi In Hint city, and proved to be rclluMj and trust worthy. A railroad olllcial say that they were thoroughly honest, I Intelligent nud xdiie, and ns their du-' sire w:i to earn ns much money during j the summer a possible, they were, vlways willing to work extra hours nud lako out siH'dnl car. They lived eoo-' comically, and have probably savi-d something like i:H encb, which will go a goxl way toward paying their col lege expenses next w li.t.r. This Item speaks for Itself, and needs no com ' meuL I A PARSON AND A PIQ. What Was Hffrtl in One Caaa Was TrlJ in tli Other. A poor woman came to the parson of I lie pill lh with the request: "Please, pass'u! my ou'd ;.ow lie took cruel bad, I wish now, you'd Is' an good a to t ome aud say a prayer over her." "A prayer! tioodness pn-aerve u! I caiiiiot route and pray over a pig-a pig. my dear Sully- that l not possi ble." "Her be cruel bad, groaning, and won't eat her meat. If her die, pass'n whailver shall we do I' the winter wl'out beacon side and ham? Oh, ilea r I Po'y, now, pass'n, come and say a prayer over my eld sow." "I really, really must not degrade my sacred ofllce. Sally! Indeed, I inut nut!" "Oh, pnss'n! do'y, now 1" and lite good creature began to sob. The parson was a tender hearted man, nnd tears were loo much. He agreed to go to fie cottage, .e the pig, and do w hat he colli. Acordlngly, be visited the patient, which lay groaning In the stye. The woman gazed wistfully at the pastor, and wallet for the prayer. Then tlie clergy mnn raised bis right baud. iNilnted with one finger at tlie sow and said solemnly: "If thou ltvest. O pig! then thou livest. If thou diest, O pig! then thou dlest." Singularly enough, the sow was let tcr that same evening, nnd ate a little wash. She was well, nnd bad recover ed her appetite w holly next day. Now, Il happened, some months after this, that the rector fell very III, with a quinsy that nearly chok.il him. He coiibl not swallow, be could hardly breathe. Ills life was lu Imminent danger. Sally was a visitor every day at the rectory, and was urgent to see the sick man. She wa refused admission, but pressed so vehemently that finally she was suffered -Just to see til 111. but she was n mill not to speak to blm or ex pect blm to speak, as he wa unable to utter a word. She wa conducted to the sick room, and the ihxr thrown open. There she beheld the pastor lying In hod, groan ing, almost In extremities. liaising her hand, she Hliited at htm with one linger nml said: "If thou livest, ( pass'n! then thou live)! If thou dlest. O isiss'u! then thou dlest." The effect on the sick man wss-sn explosion of laughter that burst the quinsy, nud hi recovery.-Sunday Magazine. Wimt Water Can !. The effect of the hydraulic motor, w hlch I now used for the purpose of removing masse of earth, well nlgli passes belief. A stream of water issuing from a pipe six inches In diameter, with a fall be hind It of three hundred and seventy live feet, will carry away a solid rock weighing a Ion or more to a distance of 'fty or one hundred feet. The ve locity of the stream Is terrific, and the column of water projected I so solid that If a em who r or other heavy object be thrust against It the Impinging oh-Ji-rt will be hurled a considerable dis tance. Hy tills stream of water a man would be Instantly killed If he came Into con tact with It. even at a distance of two hundred feet. At two ho in I red feet from the uozzln n six Inch stream, with three hundred and seventy-live feet fall, projected momentarily against the trunk of a tree, will In a second denude It of the hen v lest bark as cleanly as If It bad I n cut with nu ax. Whenever such a stream Is turned against a Itank It cuts and burrows It In every direction, hol lowing out grent cares and causing ton of earth to melt and fall aud be washed away lu the sluice. Indicating; Weather Change. In many place (he crow Is looked on ns a weather prophet nf the highest distinction. On the approach of rain a whole community will rise from their nests or perches, and wheel about for some time, longer or shorter, according to the duration of the coming storm. The peacock screams loudly when rain Is coming. Swallow fly high In fair weather, and when they fly low, skim ming the surface of the earth, wet weather I at hnml. Gulls and other far flying bird do not venture far from home wheu heavy weather la approach ing. Italn may be expected when ducks bathe, (leese chatter loudly when a storm approaches. Pen-birds fly early and far to eastward when line weather may lie expected to hold, but they fly Inland In search of food on the approach of storms. Had weather 1 heralded by wild fowl leaving the marshes for higher localities. The guinea hen flutter Its wings end gives fearful screams on a change lu the at mosphere. Addition to Our Navy. Another formidable ship bas been added to the active list of the I'nlted States navy. The double tnrreted mon itor Terror has gone Into commission at the Urooklyn navy yard. She I heav ily armored and ha four ten-Inch guns In her turrets which will throw steel projectiles with accuracy and effective lies nine miles. The Terror hns a low free-board ami ber turrets are low, for which reasons she will offer a poor target for hostile men-of-war. She could bring all four of ber guns lo bear on a ship which, at a considerable dis tance, would have great dlfflculty In hitting ber at all. Taking; Advantage or Science. An Ingenious man bas Invented a de vice for feeding hi horse, and he doe It with one of the ordinary alarm clocks. For Instance, If the horse Is to have Its morning feed of grain at 5 o'clock the alarm Is set, and when the luornlng come the horse gets Its break fast before Its owner's eyes are open. It is so arranged that the alarm pull the slide, letting the grain run through a sluice to the manger. IrfM-oinntlvee Are Heavier. Ten years ago the heaviest locomotive usedou the Pennsylvania expre train weighed forty to forty eight ton. Now the through express train are each hauled by an engine that weigh from flxty llve to seventy tons. We should Imagine that people must enter their ttf'h or sixth love affair v 'tb the same feeling that the man at su eating mateb begins his twenty t qualL 0 Theret Here I am sick with thinking and with dresnn; With memories nf struggles, lately put. Here rntne to nie the town's sharp, fretful trraius Of J.irrlng sounds -that all nwt iounil UlltlllSt. There In the wood's shut krsrt is tp- linn enlm; Ani vast, Jii'p sllrnov; suJ sweet pleery Shed ilowriiw'srd from tl' Juky pine tike linlin (SihmI to sad soitis that ache for sym pathy. There, from the o.pi mouth of oue cool spring, The gurgling laughter brenks In silvery slresms Too tuft lo uiock the quirt of ttuaiso thing. Helile It resting from 1st fever tl reams. There tsgue, fresh sirs uplift, like Anger Hps, The matted rurls from off the throhhing brnln: And vnpory kisses from the mist's light ll. PImoIv upon t ehcek lu flue, sweet ruin. There Is green shadow, shot with threads of gold Too mellow-toinsl to strain a aching eye- A ml there a he ret. nf bluets, on a wold Fsr up the sloplnz hlllshle that lies by. There ran one catch, too prune In emer sld gloom Semblance of dswn; rose billows, foam ing fair, if s is-aiii orchard full of clustered bloom That blows pink flukes s far-Would I were there! Lulu Itagsilnle, In Harper' Magaitue. The Old liar. i. Low, swallow-swept and gray. Between the orchard and the spring. All Its wide w billows orerflowlug bsy, And crannied doors a-swlng, The uld karu stands to day. Deep In Its hay the Icgborn hide A round, wuile nest; and, bumming soft On roof and rafter, or lu log-rude sides, ' Black In the aim allot loft, The building iome: glide. Along Its corn crib, cautiously A thieving linger, skulk the rat; Or, In warped stall i of fragrant timothy, (Inaws si some loosened shit. Or passe shadowy. A dream nf drouth made audible Hfforv It door, hot, smooth, and shrill All day the locust slug What other spell Shall bolu It, hisler still. Than the long day's, now tell 7 Dusk and the cricket aud tlie strslu Of tree-toad and of frog; snd star That burn shorn the rich west' ribbed stain; I - Anil dropping pistur bars. And cow bell up the lam. . v. Nighrand the moou sud katydid. And leaf-list of the wiud-touche4 boughs And msiy shadows that tat flrv-flls thrld; And iweet breath of th cow;' And the lone owl here are bid, Madison Csweln A Sonnet. Come, sweetest sprlugl Too long hath winter old Held o'er the froten earth his cruel away; Too long hath Burets bad hit blust'rtng way, And chilled our heart with hi embrace bold. Tht annw yet ll on plain and mountain cold, The tree lift up bare branches to the day, The fettered wsters fret at thy delay, The songful bird their presence at III withhold. Oh, ennie! replace the ley northern blait With balmy sephyn blowing o'er the lea; Melt the dreir suow; bid flower spring at Inst, Crorut and vl'let; et the wsters free; Clothe the bar trees; aud bring ou Joy ou wing Tin bluebird snd the robin, sweetest spring! - F. F. Harding, In Brooklyn Standard I'ulon. Mia Hwsathaart. My sweetheart she Just loves me through every shining day; She's s rose to me In winter au' tb sweet- est rose In May; 1 never mind the sesaons; they're always fair to see; A rainbow's In the heavens, for my sweet heart she loves met My iweetheart still she loves me; oe matter where I roam, I se ber eye. Ilk bright blue ikies, that woo an' win me borne; And never where my footsteps stray wherever I may be. Will any skies seem dark, for still my , sweetheart she love met My iweetheart she Just loves met I se In her bright eye Ail tlint I've heard of heaven, and It's nearer than Ibe skies! Th sesious change, but what to m I fruit of flower or tree When we go through life together, and my sweetheart she love Die1 Atlanta Constitution. A Dream Dreamed Over. The music was throbbing and pulsing; The flower and the palm and th light In smooth, waxed floor wrr reflected That glorious gula night With the fragrance of rose about her, In her dainty, pure white gown. She was, a he whispered to her, "The prettiest girl In town." She mulled snd flushed and denied It, A a prtty girl must do. Hut by her hesrt's deep contentment She knew that he thought It true; And they danced to the thrilling musle- II, life wis rapture then When she was tlie prettiest girl In town Ami be ws the tint of tueu! They psrled with anguished orrow; Time cleared the clouded k)r; Hut at last night' ball she lived again In the charmed .lays gone by. ' Hi "n snd her dniu.-hter were dancing. The girl in a pure while guwu. Ami she heard him say, a they psased her, "You're the prettiest girl in town!" Oakland Eeboe. "I bate a man wbo chews tobacco, but I chew." Parson Twin. I