Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 18, 1896)
siiioxs in furs:
ST STYLISH TYPES OF
T, the Woman Who Isn't Coveton.
Place to VIeit-Qreat Aa-
Ooth.m Fe.hlon Ooeelp.
v.. urk corripo",";,:
u uie wuuiau n uu
Isn't covetous the
furrier's at this
season will be a
delightful place, a
grotto, only In
stead of the lining
of precious atones
that the story
books tell about
there la nn array
of fuzzy wonders,
a great proportion
of them quite as
Impossible of or
dinary m o r tals'
mines of gems In
possession as tho
wonder story. A
r, ago the comparison could hare
4 carried atlll further, for then on
rj band there were rows upon rows
of hideous heads to serve In the mental
I' tire as the dreadful dragons of the
r dent bogey man. But the fashion of
t amlng garments wltb heads la ile
I -ting. It may be said to have already
it so far as to have "turned tall" to
ervers, for wherflast year rows of
A with their gleaming, bead eyes
re grouped, this season the fln'sh
. irs In quite as free a use of kills.
e are In all sizes and all furs,
ere put on all manner of garments, bo
In even applied to hats aigrette-wise,
sm! many of them are quite as artificial
as last season's heads, which la the
' : MOST STILISH SHAPE Pt'R CAS TAKN
assaying that they are utterly im
. lble In nature.
A liberal application of these ornu
iiifi.: proves that the garment thus
trimmed Is of this season's make, but
tlie trick is already tlresomely over
done' tu some capes aud coats, and
when a change finally conies from It
tlie-ie tails will stamp the garment they
trim as hopelessly last season's. Even
now the garment that Is free from such
dangling ornaments possesses a 'dis
tinct character of Its own that will com
mend It A cape Is shown next the Ini
tial that does Just this from the fuct
that it suggests the old-fashioned pel
erine. This type of garment In the very
shape that was worn forty years ago la
now revived, but It affords no more
warmth for our backs (ban It did for
our grandmothers' and from the stand
point of utility Is not worth much
praise. It la unquestionably stylish,
however, and In the form here shown,
which Includes a cape that will protect
the back. It Is much Improved. It Is
made of sable and Is lined with Imita
tion ermine. Its tabs reach nearly to
tbe botoiu of the dress, and at the top
. i re Is a high wired collar. The muff
: rried la of sable to match the wrap,
cable may be used to trim the hat,
:elred, but Its wide-spreading bowa
. i-lalrn It as of the latest
Among the fur garments that are
fashionable enough to be considered
1'it right, six Jackets will be found to
one cape or pelerine. The cnt of the
Jacket la very like that of the more
nmrrarle cloth, and there Is small
comfort for the owner of a sealskin
cost In the style of two years ago. It
Til AT AftK FIRST IN t A Oil 105 ABLE
he recut and made over to some
like the Jacket of the next pie
sod a bill will result that will
sealskin seem far from an un-
H Joy. The Jacket of thla picture
"nd In black astrakhan. lu mod
7 long basques were rippled In
It was double-breasted, and had
fevera and full sleeves. Its but-
J--" unuiinome oiarK peari, auo a
-'.muff that mjitrhprf the Inr-ket was
1 TT a 1 , . - -
! of I
The size of this muff Is a cbal-
the fashions, which demand
bolster mIka. hut an Arvnin.
fr"'iH of such Jacket It newness
V advertliuut n.1 InHaAft muff
federate size Is much more ilkely to
et the holdover from last year.
wh trim Jacrets of this sort that
'y fur hats of tarn shape are often
'or traveling, walking, or, beat
'J-for sleighing, when something la
71 tt will not catch the wind,
"a could U wettlcr. But for
slelghlng-and they are Just aa correct
for driving In rhlll air when progres
ia not made on runners there la notl.
MODEL SUITABLE FOB CT.OTIIR AXD rUKS
Ing cozier than tbe hood of all aorta of
fur. Those that tit tight about the face
are not used so much this year as last.
nicy were rather trying to the com.
plexlon when one got a little chilled.
The correct ones have deep ruffles of
rur to stuud about the face, and the
effect Is delightfully quaint, and at the
same time very becoming. Dark fura
are preferred, though some lovely af
fairs In chinchilla and in ermine are
shown, but these are only for youthful
complexions, and good ones at that
Funny little round mob caps are shown,
too, with an Inner velvet frill. These
are very new, and with ihem must be
worn a high standing fur ruff.
Where tails revel In triumph la on
collar. A cat-o'-nlue tolls with fur
suitable for making wrappings for
womeu' thoat would be a valuable
specie Just now, but one aulmal of
that aort wouldn't come much nearer
making a fashionable collar than one
wallow does to making a summer. The
sort displayed In the third picture Is
Just the thing, aud it fellows are sell
ing like hot cukes. Lucky Is the woman
who finds one among her Christmas
gifts, for not even a sculsklu Jacket of
the latest cut Is more assertive of right
up-to-dateness tliun Is this sort of a
neck protector. This pue Is worn over
a cape of mordore velvet that Is trim
med with a deep collar of cream lace,
aud that Is lined with white satin. The
fur collar Is detachable and may be
worn with any eaie or Jacket
Following this In the Illustrations
there is a dainty tk'lni cape of black
silk velvet, whose pointed ends meet
at the waist It Is trimmed with a
handsome chinchilla collar and la lined
with white brocade. It Is supplied wltb
Invincible luniks and eyes so that It
fastens warmly In front Capes of
this general sort frequently Illustrate
the present liking for combining two
sorts of furs. Thus a chinchilla collar
like this one will top u seal cape, or
will be replaced thereon by one of Ter
slan Iamb. Such garments are very
elegant, and In most cases bring the
highest of prices.
Une need not be told that a black
silk velvet Jacket of the latest fashiona
ble cut can be handsomely trimmed
with fur, but the final picture shows
one of the prettiest possible ways of
doing It The revera aud turned down
collar are of ermine, the Jacket having
fitted back, ripple basque and box
front Ita right side laps over and 14
fastened with buffalo horn buttons, a
corresponding row coming down the
other aide. White brocaded satin la
used for lining. Buttons of this shape
In buffalo horn are put on seal Jackets
this year and there aiust be Ittittn'
boles In the fur, too, for the cord Ion
formerly used are of the gloomily i
Might Have Given Them Away,
A traveler Just returning from Mexico
tells an amusing tale of the attempts of
a peddler to sell precious stones at an
exorbitant price, who In the end con
sented to dispose of bis wares for a
mere song. It was at Que rctaro, an Im
portant city on the line of the Mexican
"When the train pulled In at the de
pot," said he, "It was Immediately sur
rounded by a score or more of peons
trying to sell opals to the piisseugers.
One tall, rather flue-looking Indian ex
tended toward me his hand containing
ten or a dozen glittering stones.
"'How much?' I asked.
" 'Twelve dollars.' replied he. 'Cheap,
very cheap, only $12.
'"No, nor I replied. In an emphatic
way. 'Muy enro' (very denr).
" 'Five dollars:' then quoted the ven
der, turning the stones over lu his
band, that I might see that thev were
"'No, $1,' said I.
" 'Yes, yesT cried the vender, eagerly.
One dollar; yes, yes. you can have then:
for $1. Take them.' "New York Iter
Make-l'p of the tSrlcih Army.
The British regular army chusIkih of
two reglramts of life guards, one of
horse guards, seven of dragoon guard
and sixteen of light dragoons, as cav
alry. The Infantry Is tbrve regiment
of footguards, ninety-nine of the lind
and a rifle brigade, besides the stair
and colonial curpa, which are consid
ered to form part aoid parcel of the En
TAMPED WITH DAUB FAfUIIO.'8 ,lO. K."
KISSES AM) THE LAW
LEGAL PROCEEDINGS THAT WERE
CAUSED BY OSCULATION.
Conaltlrrabla Aiauwatrnl Afflirded Law.
fn aaU JudgM, bat th Kiwi Uorsa't
Always Sea Whara tha Laugh Comet la.
A Lot Hrlr lllMOTitml.
The grave and dignified member of the
legal pnifeuiun aiienr to dnrtve much
amusement from the subject of klmat,
which comes luforo them moat frequently
In the form of a mcrn)iunilant supply of
crosses In tho letters of lovers, when theno
are being mul-us they never were. Intend
ed to be In court, In lirmeh of pMiulm
rases. The leu-ned gentleman who lins nt
the moment the hiiKliiCNi In hand of read
lng aloud one of thcMi wonderful produc
tions generally pnuc when he omu to
the first stop In the gushing effusion,
whero the enamored swain has found
words too weak to express his m-ntimc nt.
supplying their place with a siring of
ytnholio oM'iilntlon and, with a well
feigned look nf Innocence, wtys there l
here a gap In the letter, which the defend
ant "has tilted In with a lot of x's," re
garding the meaning of which somo brot ti
er, more burned In theno weighty matter,
mnv perhaps bo able, to enlighten him.
This some "brother" never falls to do,
saying that If he is rightly Informed he
has, of coumn, no personal knowledge of
the matter (winks all round) these mystic
signs signify kisses In the language of Cu
pid. Thereupon this mighty, time hon
ored Joko is greeted with tho usual chorus
of guffaws, and the interrupted reading
liut kisses sometimes make their ap
pearance In law courts In other circum
stances, though they never fail to be mode
the subject of numurous legal witticisms..
The Judge may have bivn In a Jesting
humor and yet who knows but ho may
have boon laying dowu, with oil due
solemnity, some fundamental principle of
Justice and equity who once asked the
plaintiff, who was suing his former sweet
heart for the return of the value of cer
tain articles of Jewelry which he had pre
sented to her in tho happy days of tiieir
courtship, whether he "hod ever kissed
the young ladyf" "Certainly !" was the
reply, as was to Ins exxx'tcd. Whereupon
thojudgo dismissed the action, declaring
that kisses and caresses were full legal
payment for present given In such cir
cumstance. Tho obvious moral may he
laid to heart without much dltllculty by
present giving young men.
It hapMjiHHl one day that a pretty young
widow, traveling by train fom Ixiulsvllle
to Nashville, had taken her smt near a
newly married couple. The bridegroom
left his wife for a moment, and wheu he
returned the train was passing through a
tunnel. He took advantage of the dark
ne8 to snatch a kiss from his wlfu, a he
suspected, but unfortunately ho had imule
a mistake and kissed the young widow In
stciul. .She was highly Indignant and re
fusing to believe that it was an accident
sued the young husband for II, OIK) n
solatium to her wounded feelings and ruf
There Is given as an example of the le
niency of New York judges the case of
man who was arrested for kissing another
man s wife. ln sentence iassed iiMin
the culprit was that ho should there and
then kiss bis own wife, who was present
In the courtroom, which, as may bo sup
posed, he gladly did.
In British law courts It has been fre
quently brought homo to offenders that It
is rather an expensive amusement to kiss
lady against her will, but In Holland It
appears that a rather different view pro
vails In Judicial circles. A young man
who had assaulted a young lady In this
war on the streets of a village near I trccht
was brought before tho burgomaster, who
took the matter up, demanding that the
offender Bhould lie lined a florin, or, in de
fault lo Imprisoned for a day. Hut the
Utrecht court and finally tho appeal court
at Amsterdam both dismissed tho case,
the J ud go declaring "that to kiss a person
cannot be an offense, as It Is lu tho nature
of a warm mark of sympathy!" This Is
pretty much like tho Yankee Judge who
dismissed a similar offender, remarking
that tho plaintiff was so temptingly pretty
that during the trial he had to keep him
self down in his chair with both hands, he
felt so much Inclined to get up and kiss
A stolen kiss once brought the culprit
into possession of a fortune, lie was a
butcher in Sydney and had taken the lib
erty of kissing one of his customers, a
pretty girl, who resented the affront and
had him prosecuted for assault. He was
fined heavily by the local magistrates, and
tho case was commented on freely by tho
press. The publicity thus given to the af
fair happened to arrest the notice of a firm
of solicitors In Sydney, who had been ap
pointed trustees of some property which
hod been left to the man by a distant rela
tive SO years before. They had failed to
trace the heir, but when his name appear
ed In the papers In connection with the
case of assault they communicated with
him, and he was able to establish his Iden
tity. A certain Senor Talca of Valparaiso,
however, had a very different experience
and paid heavily for his momentary freak
of kissing a lady on the plaza without her
permission. She prosecuted him, and the
magistrate, as Indignant as the ludy, sen
tenced him to 00 days' Imprisonment.
This severe penalty Senor Talca considered
himself Justified in appealing against but
the higher court so far from bestowing
any sympathy on the offender, sentenced
him to an additional 80 days' Imprison
ment. The amusing part of tho affair Is
that the higher court took 200 days to con
sider the appeal, aud during the whole of
that time the senor had to remain In Jail.
Even this, however, is outdone by the
aeries of tribulations undergone by a man
who hod stolen a kiss from a pretty girl.
To begin with, he was brought before a
magistrate and fined. Then ho was horse
whipped by the girl's brother and hurried
into brain fever by his wife. The clergy
man of the district referred to the affair in
a sermon and reviewed the case In print,
and. Anally, the caterpillars ate up every
blado of the malefactor's wheat crop.
An old cavalryman suys that a horse
will never step on a man intentionally.
It is a standing order in the English
cavalry that,hould a mau become dis
mounted, he must lie down and keep
perfectly stilL If be does so, the entire
troop will pass over him without his be
ing injured. Ahorse notices where he is
going, and is on the lookout for a firm
foundation to put his foot on. It is an
instinct with him, therefore, to step
over a prostrate man. The injuries
caused to human beings by a runaway
horse are nearly always inflicted by the
animal knocking them down, and not
by his stepping on them. Boston Her
ald. Aof Babca G H angry.
The dogs at the French watering
place Tronville are a source of unfail
ing amusement A whito terrier belong
ing to the Comteese do Breteuil had on
white doeskiu leggings the other day
when it was muddy, aud a correspond
ent counted five different coats on on
white png one day, all embroidered
THE COCOANUT PALM.
Its Manner nf Growth and Its Kclrnt
Those who have never seen a long
straggling grove of coconnut trees, by
the seashore, with their feet burled lu
the gleaming sands aud their bead
held aloft lu the azure of a tropical
aky, can form but little Idea of the pie
turesquiaaess of these Interesting
Though facetiously descrllied by
Mark Twain as "gigantic feather dus
ters, struck by iightuiug, they are,
nevertheless, princes of tho vegetable
world and sometimes attain the height
of I'M feet. With stems two feel lu dl
a meter. Many of the tallest specimens.
however, are blown by the wind to
such abrupt angh's that their altitude
oncoAsitT niioVE nr THE ska.
Is materially diminished. The trunk
being formed by the auutlill fulling nf
the leaves. It Is possible to tell the age
of the tree by counting the circular
scars on the bark. Though also Hour
Ishlug lu the Interior localities on coral
Islands, they are especially vigorous
when within reach of the salt spray of
the ocean; and the nuts, falling upon
the restless waves, are curried to dis
tant shores to vegetate.
The arch enemy of these palms on the
shores of most of the cue. in nut Islands
of the I'uclilc and Indian oceans Is
whut Is known as the "robber crati,'
singular cruslaceuu which sometimes
reaches the length of nearly four feet
though the average measurement Is
twenty-three Inches from the point of
the front claw to the end of the ubdo-
inen. The grip of their powerful
pinchers Is said to lie sutliclent to break
the arm of a strong man; and It has
been asserted that these fierce creatures
occasionally carry off and devour very
young, helpless children, though one
finds it difficult to credit the state
There are practically no bonds to
TIIK COCOA NUT CBAU.
their depredations, ns they are curried
on mainly In the nighttime aud with
grentest regularity, while their num
ber tire often so great as to discourage
nny attempts at extermination. If sur
prised while sleeping, however. In the
daytime, In holes or hollow stumps.
they ore raptured without danger. If
the formidable claws are deftly seized
In a bunch.
Scaling the long, slim tree trunks till
they reach the branches, they sever
the largest and choicest nuts from their
stems by tearing away the strong libera
until the prlzo fulls to the ground.
Then, swiftly descending, the thief
drngs Its unwieldy booty to Its neigh
boring den, and proceeds patiently, bit
by bit, to remove the tough outer husk.
This accomplished after several days'
work, one of the pinchers Is Inserted
In an "eye" of the Inner shell, and tho
nut either pounded upon a rock to
crack It, or broken up Into small pieces
with the claws. Now comes the feast,
which last about a week, when a sec
ond cocoa nut Is added to the menu.
The Organ Grinder Fled.
A well-known professor at one of our
universities was often annoyed by two
Italians playing a street organ before
his house. Giving his servant some
money, he told her that whenever she
heard an organ, she was to go out and
pay the owners to take It away. This
was a failure. The men, Instead of
coming once a week, come twic.
One day the sound of the organ dis
til rlied the professor while, working at
I certain lecture. This so annoyed him
that be rushed out and ordered tLe men
tway, telling them that If they came
gnln he would hand them over to the
police. They refused to go unless he
rave them more money. K imaged at
khelr Impertinence, he raced down the
Itreet In search of a policeman.
Just as ho turned the corner of the
treet be met a sergeant marching
nine constables to their Peats. With-
jut speaking, he turned and walked
llongslde tho procession. When they
turned the corner, the Italians saw the
professor with the policemen. It was
enough. They were both seized with
the sudden desire to see how quick-!;
they could get the organ out of th ,
street. The cure was lasting, for th
professor diflnres that no on hi'
ilnce lieen lsihl enough to ploy frn c
gan before hit bouse. Tit lilts
M liars (lulorjr anil Hrown.
Miss Louise Imogen Ouiuey and Miss
Alice Brown huve started together on a
walking trip through England. Miss
Guincy and Miss Brown have been lit
erary coIlulxiruNirs of late, in the
" Three New England Heroines" uml now
in the Stevenson metnoriuL Miss Brown
is a native of New Hampshire, but she
spends her winters in Boston, living in
an old street that lias numliered among
its residents Hawthorne, Lonisa Alcott
and Whipple, the essayist. Miss Brown
was once on Tho Transcript staff, but
now works for Tho Youth's Companion.
Mr. Alden calls her one of the strongest
nf the younger poeta. Philadelphia
Mctwecn IDOOsnd Ibiu mo anolltlon of
slavery dtroyd a nominal wealth of
I .'CO, 000,000. During the mine period the
northern states gained enormously In
wealth by the twtablUbmvut of many now
FOR LITTLE FOLKS.
A QUEER FOSTER FATHER,
Tat Did Hots Iha Wator Spanlal Whe Pro
Iwlt a llrood ot t'lilrka,
I'lmugh gissl dog stories are told ev
ery week to till a volume as big as your
Ju-t the same all the world loves a
really clever dog. This story is alsiut a
dog that is neither clever nor brave ii.t
handsome, and his name Is Bob plaiu
Bob, and nothing else. Bob lives ont
near Warwick, Mo. Ho is a water span
iel, uml one of the fattest dogs in the
west. Ho is not a heavy eater, but he is
so very gisul huturcd that ho getu fat on
lioihing but u clear coiix-ienoo and an
At Bob's home are many chickens and
they nil look tip to Bob as their foster
father. A queer friend for a chicken is
a big, fat water spaniel, but tho chick-
ens don't care what or who he is, he is
just Bob to them. There is a brood of
mother less chicks who are seldom away
from him if they can help it Wheu he
lies dowu, they climb nsiu his back,
which is so broad as to resemble Uie
big, flat pud on the back of a oirona
horse. They crawl usni bis head aud
peck at iiis ears, lie dss not shake
them off, however, us most dogs would
When Bob walks around the yard, the
little chicks hung ou for all they are
worth, aud wheu he lies down they all
nestle in tiear his puws. In this position
dog aud chicks rcmiiiu motionless for
hours at a time. The motherless little
brood of chicks are getting to bo big fel
lows now, but they huve not yet any
idea, it seems, of deserting their queer
A new brood of younger chicks have
come into tho yard within a few days,
aud they, too, are learning to climb up
on Bob's woolly buck, uml to peck at
his tongue and noe, ull of which seems
to tickle the old fellow very much. It is
astonishing to see how careful Bob is
when his littloudoptcd children are tak
ing an afternoon ride ou his buck. The
flue old dog is as gentle as a lamb at
such time, uud keei a watchful eye
open lor ixissiblo accidents. Kansas
Tha Hound of Words,
Tho Northwestern Magazine gives the
followiug unique composition written
by a 13-year-old schoolgirL Let our
young readers see if they cannot uiuke it
still moro puzzling:
"A right suilo little buoy, the son of
a kernel, with a rough round his neck,
flue np tho road as quick as a dear. Aft
er a thy mo he stopstl at the house aud
wrung the Wile, His tow hurt hymn
and ho kneaded wrest Ho was two tired
to raze his fare, pail face, aud a feint
mown of lutiie rose from his litis. The
made who herd the belle was about to
pair a pare, but she through it dowu and
run with all her mite, for fare her
guessed would not weight, but when she
saw the little won tiers st(jod in her eyes
at tho site. 'Ewe oordcar. why do you
lye hear? Aro yew dyeing? 'Know,' he
said, 'I am feint' She hour him inn her
arms, us she ought, to a Mum where he
might be quiet, gave him bred and meet,
held a cent bottle under his knows, uu
tido his choler, rupHMl him tip warmly,
gave him a suite drachm from a viol,
till at last he went forth as hail as a
young hoarse. "
Tha Idol of liar llarU
I've Rut a wlinln meniw rla
Anil a Mk, fat lot of tojra.
I've Kut a little rublwr duf
That aniiuka and nmki-a a oulaa.
I'vb K' it a Utile wimilen horse
And a littla wissh n cart.
But my ilinr old bustd dully
Is the lilul of mjr heart.
A ItojrUh Hoy King.
Not long ago, wheu out with his nurse,
the little king of Hpain luw some boys
of his own sio and struggled to get
away and go to thciiL
Oh, but you must not, suid bii
"Why muy I not go and play with
lem, nurse ,
Because becuuse yon are a little
ing," suid the nurse.
"Then if you please, nurse, I would
rutlmr be a little boy," was the king's
reply. Kt Punl'a
Wdimi oa I'olloa Farms.
Rev. Anna IL Hhuw of Boston, who
spoke at the woman's congress lu San
Francisco recently, favored having wom
en on the police forces of largo cities.
There has beeu one offloe I huve longed
or," said she, "uud that is the office of
policeman. What we want iu Hun rran
isco and every other city iu the country
s good women ou tho police bourd. If
icy were there, there would not be one-
thousandth part of the immorality."
A falling barometer while a north wind
blowing Indicate snow lu winter and
rain or hall in imp mar.
A Marlilne Maklug aa Ktart Raeord an
Nrrvlua aa I'rltle.
The savants ot the Sorbonue have be.
gun to tiinko use of a little machine
which ought, to cause musical critics to
tremble fur the future of their profes
sinii. The musician, like tho criminal,
has a psychology of his own, aud M
Billet, the dinvtor nf (lie rtorbouue
I '''"ndoty. evidently means to get to
the bottom of it. He proceeds upon the
I principle that the execution must betray
tho psychology of the executant, but
! tho human critic's description of a pi
i anist's playing, us impassioned, sensu
uus or lymphatic, is much too rough aud
i ready for him. Besides no two critics
I are ever ill jK-rfect agreement regarding
I the subtler details ill the interpretation
i of a piece. M. Biuet has therefore adapt
i ed a piet of mechanism, invented by
I M. Lund, which registers visibly and
I with unerring certainty the manner iu
which a piot has been played. Ou
I piece of paper we aro given a truthful
, record of the entire is-iformance, the
duration of tho notes, the rapidity of at
tack, the variations iu touch, legato.
stiuvuto, crescendo, diminuendo in
short, everything indicative of tho do
grooof musical execution uud expression
that has lseu attained. Even a conserv
atory examiuer could Uud no fault with
the precision, of tho machine's musical
Tho apiwiratus which ia to repluce the
musical critic is described us being sim
plicity itself. It is ail adaptation of the
phonograph. It can eiksily lie applied to
any piano. A guttu pcrchu tube, is
plaited bcueuth the keys, and its extrem
ities are iu communication with the rcg
isteriug cylinder. To this isuttachod au
iuked stylus, which makes its iuiprea
sions upon m band of paper druwu along
at a regular rule by clockwork. Each
key struck inscribes its uiurk, and it is
enough to glance at the register to as
oertaiu with whut force, speed, etc., the
fingers have done their work. If one
baud has beuu lu.y, the talo is told and
all the false uotes are faithfully set
dowu. When the piece is finished, the
performer has ut hand an exact record
ot what he has done and is in a po
sition to couipure his rendering with
that of other artists or with previous
performances of his own. The ear, in
fact, is benteu. Its impressions are fa
gitive and subject to error uud are not
to be compared with the verdict of tho
infallible automat io critic. We may now
look forwurd to the day wheu it will be
as iudispciisuble iu civilized life us tho
thermometer. With it iu tho drawing
room, insincere flattery of the budding
virtuoso will be impossible, while iu the
tiewspuers niusicul criticisms of public
performances will nssume both the ap
pcurunce and unanimity of meteoro
logical cliurts, Wostiuiustor Gazette.
tonus of Humor.
At breakfast Tennyson was discussed,
Mr. Jowett denying that what had been
said of Wordsworth, that "within the
great niun there was a little nuui," was
true also ut lilni, though he had littlo
things iu Dim. The want of humor,
original or appreciative, was talked of.
Mr. Jowott says Gladstone cuu make a
few jokes of his owu, but cunuot see
other people's. Uoulburu, he says, is an
, iustance of a tutm who hus humor of
kind, but fails,to see the humor of situ
at ions. Iu preaching once nt Rugby
chapel, he suid, speaking of evil existing
everywhere, thut "even in the ark there
was a Hum :" then, seeing thut tho
boys hud caught the joke, he added
thut of course ho meant tho patriarch.
Talking of Dr. Arnold, lie said thut
he was too poworfnl, too strong a mun
for his posit ioulio stumped upon the
boy aud crushed them. Ho wits the re
verse of sympathetic. If you were iu
great trouble, he would perhaps help
you more than any one else, but if, us
somo one suggested, you were a little
linppy, ho would huve nu sympathy to
spare. Arnold hail suid himself thut be
could never see a group of Isiys round
tho fire without seeing tho devil among
them. Hpoukiiig; ubout good talkers, the
master said a really good talker must
talk from a character. He told a story
of a inuii who, ou hearing that he had a
mortal compluint, only exclaimed, "I
was always lucky. I insured my life
last week, Longmuu a Magazine.
Fronde's Great Labor.
Iu his sixth and lust lecture (delivered
in America in 1872)Froudo defended
himself and uiisworod his critics thus
"My 'History of England' has been com
posed from perhaps 700,000 documents,
nine-tenths of them iu different maim
scripts and iu half a dozen languages.
have been unable to trust printed copies,
for the manuscripts ofteu tell stories
which the printed versions huve con
oeuled. I huve been unuble to trust
copyists. 1 huve rend everything myself.
I huve made my owu extracts from papers
which I might never see a second time.
I hud to condense puges into single sen
tences, to trunsluto, to analyze, aud
huve hud afterword to depend entirely
ou my own transcript. Uuder such cou
ditious it is impossible for me to an
swer thut no reference him been mis
placed and no inverted comma fullcu to
the wrong words. I have douo my best
to be emi t, und no writer can uudertuku
more." Current Literature.
A Trilby Club.
There lias recently beeu inaugurated
a Trilby club lu Arlington, 14. J., the
result of a dream of one of the most
uhuruiing of the yonng womeu of that
The qualification for membership in
this club is a left fixtt; the credentials,
a picture of it. At present the club hus
a score of iiicmls-rs. Euch lias giveu tho
picture of her left foot to the club, aud
these form the art collection.
By unanimous consent the projector
of the club, so lovely was herlrilby,
was mode president A fear of publicity
keeps this club a secret tirgamzutiou,
but to give it an air of dignity one mar
ried woman hus Imhmi made a member.
These pictures' ure oil taken by the young
ladies and deveIosd by one of their
number. Home of tho photogruphs huve
been seen. One especially is a beauty of
perfect outline and has the widely sep
arated tss over which Little Billee
raved, and which are small, slender and
gracefuL Such another Trilby, the girls
prondly declare, it would tie hard to
find, and none there has been to dis
pute this. New York Herald.
t:iru in utt ceutus was taken,
value of the railroad property of this coun
try was considered to Is) cqtiul to the oust
bf construction and equipmuut a report
ed by tbe railroad companies. No account
was taken of the inuroaa ol stoca.
till put her little tisnd iu mine
Home might hava thought her hold
Ami yet there was no romance, for
Hhe's hardly two years old.
Louisville Jon run I.
Hoax "lines your deutlst take pallia
with Is work?" Joax ".No; be glvea
them."- Philadelphia Itecord.
Alice (l lie friend)-"! don't see how
anyone can help loving Blunche." tier
trude (the rlvul) "She cuu't help It
Fudy "There goes n rah well. He's
whut I call a self-mude uniu." Puddy
"Yea; (icople who know him Intimate
ly say he Is all self." Boston Tran
script He "What leads you to call Mr.
Bmllux ecceiitrlc'f" Khe "She was tell
lug a story the other ulght and began
It: 'When I was a girl.' "-Philadelphia
Attorney for the defense "Now,
whut time wus It when you were held
np?" Complulnuiit-"! don't know; ni k
your client ho took my watch." Chi
"Where are yu going, my pretty tnald?"
"To my Christmas shopping, ps," she
Pa drew a check and wiped his eye,
And thought nf the coining buy and bny.
New York Heruld. - '
The heiress "I'm afraid rapa will
never consent." Tho Impecunious "la
your father down on me?" The heiress
"No; he says he's up to you." Boston
"Her father won over J'J.000 from tha
baron lust mouth at cards." "Aud then
the baron asked him for her hand'.'"
"Yes. He wanted to get his money
Hhe "Hhe's Just about your age.
Isn't she?" He "No, I'm much tha
older." She "What makes you think
so?" ne "We were born lu tho same'
mouth of the saino year." Chicago
Weary Wutklns "My folks nlwaya
told me I was cut out fer gentleman." '
Hungry Hlgglus "Moblie you was.
pardner, but ef you was you sure be
long In the misfit depart meut." In
Mrs. fiuaggs 1 was ont after tips this
afternoon. Mr. Hiuiggs (who has had
expensive exierleuees with tips) Not
tips on stocks, surely? Mrs. Hnaggs-
No; oMtiich tips. Pittsburg Chronicle-
A rose by any other name would smell
As truly would, I ween, a dozen such; -
But just to make the sentiment complete.
A rose by sny other name would mat
ss Diiieh. i
"You walk as if your shoes were too
tight old man." "Oh, no. They're very
large." "oh, that may be." "Well,
then, what " "I wasn't referrlug to
their wlze. I merely said tliey were.
right" -Chicago Post. '
Mr. Dunn - I called to see about a lit
tle bill I left here about A month ago.
Mr. Short -h. It's all right; yon needn't
be alarmed. I've laid It away where it
won't be disturbed. No iiihnI for you to.
rail sgitlii.- Boston Tranwrh.it. '
I believe." wild the young man, "lu
giving the devil his due." "I'm-yes,"
replied bis father, who was looking
over tilie MtnlM of bis rtieck-book. "Still,!
I don't quite see the propriety of your
paying him at my expense." Washing.
Jinks I am alwaya embarrassed
when I want to say the word T-a-s-e. I
dou't know whether to say vaie, vace,.
vuhs, or vawse. Bluks Yuu might take
hint from our hired girl. Hhe simply
speaks of nil oriiuuieuts us "them
Wayworn Watson W'y, w'at you
runnlu' fer? Hid 4is set the dog on,
ye? Perry Patetlc Naw. But she set,
me out a whole half chicken, bread, I
butter'n jelly an' a pack o' cigarettes.;
I bet she wants to marry met Clncin-i
not I Enquirer. I
Cripple Please help a poor man, sir;
I lost my leg on the field. Wigwag,
Why, you're too young to have been lm
tbe war. Cripple (Indignantly) Who's;
talking about war? I wish you to un-i
dorstand, sir, that I am an ex-foot-ball
player. Philadelphia Record.
"Come, sirrah," ssld the Sultan; "maksi
New promises for me,
And plsinly mark them 'frag Us,'
And ship them C. U. D."
A little Boston girl who had recently
learned to repeat the Lord's prayer was
asked by her mother IX she knew the
neanlngof "Forgive ns our trespasses.'
Why, yes," she replied; "it means ex
cuse us for going on the grass." Bos
ton Qazette. I
As Cnappraelated Klndneaa,
Young women who officiously offer
older women thulr seats In the street cars
should look before they leap. A well
dressed girl saw one of her sex enter a not
Overcrowded elii'trlo car the other day and
sprang forward with the request that she
should have the place. "No, thanks," re
plied the other, with the utmost aplomb.
'I never take a cripples aeut. "rlii
m not a cripple," returned the young
woman, much mortllleil.
Ah, In that cusn I will lot my little boy
occupy it," and the 7-year old youngster
was pushed Into the vacant pluoei
'That's the Inst time I shall ever offer any
woman, If she's 100, my sent, " said the
victim as she "moved up" to the other end
of the cur. "Why, she was Just touching
you a lesson not to he no dreadfully con
siderate to ber age," rejoined a girl In tha
penwiper rain. "It served you right"
A Clorar Trio.
Miss Magill won the silver challenge
cup at the spring meeting of the Comity
Down Ladies' Golf club In ireiaim.
Miss Tyrrel carried off the captain s
prize, aud tbe ojieu competition prize
was awarded to Miss McCuualaud, who .
was unanimously elected as captain of
the club for the present ytar.