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About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (Jan. 18, 1896)
fvt. t It' Ik 91, lithe' lit, I H : 1b. in Km 'Mi tbt lb. ti 0I til Us t UK ITll U M ID in u lit tit bid tit m xi rid 1st CO) tin !!. ill, w t4 on Mr om ul. wti l ill' Mil ,gia IfU fid . UM tb m' id M tk id ti ere JOB ti( .J iia lfc lick it lid i of pec iun, jed laid fort tat ited It w it ;oV- ia ie. ll lef" il bo- to tlx D, t. i" siiioxs in furs: ST STYLISH TYPES OF TER WRAPS. WIN. T, the Woman Who Isn't Coveton. Furrier This jbtfnl Place to VIeit-Qreat Aa- eortmeut tof cloaka,Jseke""dCape. Ooth.m Fe.hlon Ooeelp. v.. urk corripo",";,: lurk con u uie wuuiau n uu Isn't covetous the furrier's at this season will be a delightful place, a veritable fairy grotto, only In stead of the lining of precious atones that the story books tell about there la nn array of fuzzy wonders, a great proportion of them quite as Impossible of or dinary m o r tals' mines of gems In possession as tho wonder story. A 1 b! r, ago the comparison could hare 4 carried atlll further, for then on rj band there were rows upon rows ev- of hideous heads to serve In the mental I' tire as the dreadful dragons of the r dent bogey man. But the fashion of t amlng garments wltb heads la ile I -ting. It may be said to have already it so far as to have "turned tall" to ervers, for wherflast year rows of A with their gleaming, bead eyes re grouped, this season the fln'sh . irs In quite as free a use of kills. e are In all sizes and all furs, ere put on all manner of garments, bo In even applied to hats aigrette-wise, sm! many of them are quite as artificial as last season's heads, which la the ' : MOST STILISH SHAPE Pt'R CAS TAKN assaying that they are utterly im . lble In nature. A liberal application of these ornu iiifi.: proves that the garment thus trimmed Is of this season's make, but tlie trick is already tlresomely over done' tu some capes aud coats, and when a change finally conies from It tlie-ie tails will stamp the garment they trim as hopelessly last season's. Even now the garment that Is free from such dangling ornaments possesses a 'dis tinct character of Its own that will com mend It A cape Is shown next the Ini tial that does Just this from the fuct that it suggests the old-fashioned pel erine. This type of garment In the very shape that was worn forty years ago la now revived, but It affords no more warmth for our backs (ban It did for our grandmothers' and from the stand point of utility Is not worth much praise. It la unquestionably stylish, however, and In the form here shown, which Includes a cape that will protect the back. It Is much Improved. It Is made of sable and Is lined with Imita tion ermine. Its tabs reach nearly to tbe botoiu of the dress, and at the top . i re Is a high wired collar. The muff : rried la of sable to match the wrap, cable may be used to trim the hat, :elred, but Its wide-spreading bowa . i-lalrn It as of the latest Among the fur garments that are fashionable enough to be considered 1'it right, six Jackets will be found to one cape or pelerine. The cnt of the Jacket la very like that of the more nmrrarle cloth, and there Is small comfort for the owner of a sealskin cost In the style of two years ago. It Til AT AftK FIRST IN t A Oil 105 ABLE MESS. he recut and made over to some like the Jacket of the next pie sod a bill will result that will sealskin seem far from an un- H Joy. The Jacket of thla picture "nd In black astrakhan. lu mod 7 long basques were rippled In It was double-breasted, and had fevera and full sleeves. Its but- J--" unuiinome oiarK peari, auo a -'.muff that mjitrhprf the Inr-ket was 1 TT a 1 , . - - -muff F ! of I The size of this muff Is a cbal- the fashions, which demand bolster mIka. hut an Arvnin. fr"'iH of such Jacket It newness V advertliuut n.1 InHaAft muff federate size Is much more ilkely to et the holdover from last year. wh trim Jacrets of this sort that 'y fur hats of tarn shape are often 'or traveling, walking, or, beat 'J-for sleighing, when something la 71 tt will not catch the wind, "a could U wettlcr. But for I. li B 1 slelghlng-and they are Just aa correct for driving In rhlll air when progres ia not made on runners there la notl. MODEL SUITABLE FOB CT.OTIIR AXD rUKS Ing cozier than tbe hood of all aorta of fur. Those that tit tight about the face are not used so much this year as last. nicy were rather trying to the com. plexlon when one got a little chilled. The correct ones have deep ruffles of rur to stuud about the face, and the effect Is delightfully quaint, and at the same time very becoming. Dark fura are preferred, though some lovely af fairs In chinchilla and in ermine are shown, but these are only for youthful complexions, and good ones at that Funny little round mob caps are shown, too, with an Inner velvet frill. These are very new, and with ihem must be worn a high standing fur ruff. Where tails revel In triumph la on collar. A cat-o'-nlue tolls with fur suitable for making wrappings for womeu' thoat would be a valuable specie Just now, but one aulmal of that aort wouldn't come much nearer making a fashionable collar than one wallow does to making a summer. The sort displayed In the third picture Is Just the thing, aud it fellows are sell ing like hot cukes. Lucky Is the woman who finds one among her Christmas gifts, for not even a sculsklu Jacket of the latest cut Is more assertive of right up-to-dateness tliun Is this sort of a neck protector. This pue Is worn over a cape of mordore velvet that Is trim med with a deep collar of cream lace, aud that Is lined with white satin. The fur collar Is detachable and may be worn with any eaie or Jacket Following this In the Illustrations there is a dainty tk'lni cape of black silk velvet, whose pointed ends meet at the waist It Is trimmed with a handsome chinchilla collar and la lined with white brocade. It Is supplied wltb Invincible luniks and eyes so that It fastens warmly In front Capes of this general sort frequently Illustrate the present liking for combining two sorts of furs. Thus a chinchilla collar like this one will top u seal cape, or will be replaced thereon by one of Ter slan Iamb. Such garments are very elegant, and In most cases bring the highest of prices. Une need not be told that a black silk velvet Jacket of the latest fashiona ble cut can be handsomely trimmed with fur, but the final picture shows one of the prettiest possible ways of doing It The revera aud turned down collar are of ermine, the Jacket having fitted back, ripple basque and box front Ita right side laps over and 14 fastened with buffalo horn buttons, a corresponding row coming down the other aide. White brocaded satin la used for lining. Buttons of this shape In buffalo horn are put on seal Jackets this year and there aiust be Ittittn' boles In the fur, too, for the cord Ion formerly used are of the gloomily i fashionable w Copyright, i" Might Have Given Them Away, A traveler Just returning from Mexico tells an amusing tale of the attempts of a peddler to sell precious stones at an exorbitant price, who In the end con sented to dispose of bis wares for a mere song. It was at Que rctaro, an Im portant city on the line of the Mexican Central IEailroad. "When the train pulled In at the de pot," said he, "It was Immediately sur rounded by a score or more of peons trying to sell opals to the piisseugers. One tall, rather flue-looking Indian ex tended toward me his hand containing ten or a dozen glittering stones. "'How much?' I asked. " 'Twelve dollars.' replied he. 'Cheap, very cheap, only $12. '"No, nor I replied. In an emphatic way. 'Muy enro' (very denr). " 'Five dollars:' then quoted the ven der, turning the stones over lu his band, that I might see that thev were all there. "'No, $1,' said I. " 'Yes, yesT cried the vender, eagerly. One dollar; yes, yes. you can have then: for $1. Take them.' "New York Iter aid. Make-l'p of the tSrlcih Army. The British regular army chusIkih of two reglramts of life guards, one of horse guards, seven of dragoon guard and sixteen of light dragoons, as cav alry. The Infantry Is tbrve regiment of footguards, ninety-nine of the lind and a rifle brigade, besides the stair and colonial curpa, which are consid ered to form part aoid parcel of the En iJah am TAMPED WITH DAUB FAfUIIO.'8 ,lO. K." KISSES AM) THE LAW LEGAL PROCEEDINGS THAT WERE CAUSED BY OSCULATION. Conaltlrrabla Aiauwatrnl Afflirded Law. fn aaU JudgM, bat th Kiwi Uorsa't Always Sea Whara tha Laugh Comet la. A Lot Hrlr lllMOTitml. The grave and dignified member of the legal pnifeuiun aiienr to dnrtve much amusement from the subject of klmat, which comes luforo them moat frequently In the form of a mcrn)iunilant supply of crosses In tho letters of lovers, when theno are being mul-us they never were. Intend ed to be In court, In lirmeh of pMiulm rases. The leu-ned gentleman who lins nt the moment the hiiKliiCNi In hand of read lng aloud one of thcMi wonderful produc tions generally pnuc when he omu to the first stop In the gushing effusion, whero the enamored swain has found words too weak to express his m-ntimc nt. supplying their place with a siring of ytnholio oM'iilntlon and, with a well feigned look nf Innocence, wtys there l here a gap In the letter, which the defend ant "has tilted In with a lot of x's," re garding the meaning of which somo brot ti er, more burned In theno weighty matter, mnv perhaps bo able, to enlighten him. This some "brother" never falls to do, saying that If he is rightly Informed he has, of coumn, no personal knowledge of the matter (winks all round) these mystic signs signify kisses In the language of Cu pid. Thereupon this mighty, time hon ored Joko is greeted with tho usual chorus of guffaws, and the interrupted reading proceeds. liut kisses sometimes make their ap pearance In law courts In other circum stances, though they never fail to be mode the subject of numurous legal witticisms.. The Judge may have bivn In a Jesting humor and yet who knows but ho may have boon laying dowu, with oil due solemnity, some fundamental principle of Justice and equity who once asked the plaintiff, who was suing his former sweet heart for the return of the value of cer tain articles of Jewelry which he had pre sented to her in tho happy days of tiieir courtship, whether he "hod ever kissed the young ladyf" "Certainly !" was the reply, as was to Ins exxx'tcd. Whereupon thojudgo dismissed the action, declaring that kisses and caresses were full legal payment for present given In such cir cumstance. Tho obvious moral may he laid to heart without much dltllculty by present giving young men. It hapMjiHHl one day that a pretty young widow, traveling by train fom Ixiulsvllle to Nashville, had taken her smt near a newly married couple. The bridegroom left his wife for a moment, and wheu he returned the train was passing through a tunnel. He took advantage of the dark ne8 to snatch a kiss from his wlfu, a he suspected, but unfortunately ho had imule a mistake and kissed the young widow In stciul. .She was highly Indignant and re fusing to believe that it was an accident sued the young husband for II, OIK) n solatium to her wounded feelings and ruf fled dignity. There Is given as an example of the le niency of New York judges the case of man who was arrested for kissing another man s wife. ln sentence iassed iiMin the culprit was that ho should there and then kiss bis own wife, who was present In the courtroom, which, as may bo sup posed, he gladly did. In British law courts It has been fre quently brought homo to offenders that It is rather an expensive amusement to kiss lady against her will, but In Holland It appears that a rather different view pro vails In Judicial circles. A young man who had assaulted a young lady In this war on the streets of a village near I trccht was brought before tho burgomaster, who took the matter up, demanding that the offender Bhould lie lined a florin, or, in de fault lo Imprisoned for a day. Hut the Utrecht court and finally tho appeal court at Amsterdam both dismissed tho case, the J ud go declaring "that to kiss a person cannot be an offense, as It Is lu tho nature of a warm mark of sympathy!" This Is pretty much like tho Yankee Judge who dismissed a similar offender, remarking that tho plaintiff was so temptingly pretty that during the trial he had to keep him self down in his chair with both hands, he felt so much Inclined to get up and kiss her himself. A stolen kiss once brought the culprit into possession of a fortune, lie was a butcher in Sydney and had taken the lib erty of kissing one of his customers, a pretty girl, who resented the affront and had him prosecuted for assault. He was fined heavily by the local magistrates, and tho case was commented on freely by tho press. The publicity thus given to the af fair happened to arrest the notice of a firm of solicitors In Sydney, who had been ap pointed trustees of some property which hod been left to the man by a distant rela tive SO years before. They had failed to trace the heir, but when his name appear ed In the papers In connection with the case of assault they communicated with him, and he was able to establish his Iden tity. A certain Senor Talca of Valparaiso, however, had a very different experience and paid heavily for his momentary freak of kissing a lady on the plaza without her permission. She prosecuted him, and the magistrate, as Indignant as the ludy, sen tenced him to 00 days' Imprisonment. This severe penalty Senor Talca considered himself Justified in appealing against but the higher court so far from bestowing any sympathy on the offender, sentenced him to an additional 80 days' Imprison ment. The amusing part of tho affair Is that the higher court took 200 days to con sider the appeal, aud during the whole of that time the senor had to remain In Jail. Even this, however, is outdone by the aeries of tribulations undergone by a man who hod stolen a kiss from a pretty girl. To begin with, he was brought before a magistrate and fined. Then ho was horse whipped by the girl's brother and hurried into brain fever by his wife. The clergy man of the district referred to the affair in a sermon and reviewed the case In print, and. Anally, the caterpillars ate up every blado of the malefactor's wheat crop. Florida Times-Union. An old cavalryman suys that a horse will never step on a man intentionally. It is a standing order in the English cavalry that,hould a mau become dis mounted, he must lie down and keep perfectly stilL If be does so, the entire troop will pass over him without his be ing injured. Ahorse notices where he is going, and is on the lookout for a firm foundation to put his foot on. It is an instinct with him, therefore, to step over a prostrate man. The injuries caused to human beings by a runaway horse are nearly always inflicted by the animal knocking them down, and not by his stepping on them. Boston Her ald. Aof Babca G H angry. The dogs at the French watering place Tronville are a source of unfail ing amusement A whito terrier belong ing to the Comteese do Breteuil had on white doeskiu leggings the other day when it was muddy, aud a correspond ent counted five different coats on on white png one day, all embroidered with heraldry. THE COCOANUT PALM. Its Manner nf Growth and Its Kclrnt lra Knergj, Those who have never seen a long straggling grove of coconnut trees, by the seashore, with their feet burled lu the gleaming sands aud their bead held aloft lu the azure of a tropical aky, can form but little Idea of the pie turesquiaaess of these Interesting palms. Though facetiously descrllied by Mark Twain as "gigantic feather dus ters, struck by iightuiug, they are, nevertheless, princes of tho vegetable world and sometimes attain the height of I'M feet. With stems two feel lu dl a meter. Many of the tallest specimens. however, are blown by the wind to such abrupt angh's that their altitude T Mil ft oncoAsitT niioVE nr THE ska. Is materially diminished. The trunk being formed by the auutlill fulling nf the leaves. It Is possible to tell the age of the tree by counting the circular scars on the bark. Though also Hour Ishlug lu the Interior localities on coral Islands, they are especially vigorous when within reach of the salt spray of the ocean; and the nuts, falling upon the restless waves, are curried to dis tant shores to vegetate. The arch enemy of these palms on the shores of most of the cue. in nut Islands of the I'uclilc and Indian oceans Is whut Is known as the "robber crati,' singular cruslaceuu which sometimes reaches the length of nearly four feet though the average measurement Is twenty-three Inches from the point of the front claw to the end of the ubdo- inen. The grip of their powerful pinchers Is said to lie sutliclent to break the arm of a strong man; and It has been asserted that these fierce creatures occasionally carry off and devour very young, helpless children, though one finds it difficult to credit the state ment. There are practically no bonds to TIIK COCOA NUT CBAU. their depredations, ns they are curried on mainly In the nighttime aud with grentest regularity, while their num ber tire often so great as to discourage nny attempts at extermination. If sur prised while sleeping, however. In the daytime, In holes or hollow stumps. they ore raptured without danger. If the formidable claws are deftly seized In a bunch. Scaling the long, slim tree trunks till they reach the branches, they sever the largest and choicest nuts from their stems by tearing away the strong libera until the prlzo fulls to the ground. Then, swiftly descending, the thief drngs Its unwieldy booty to Its neigh boring den, and proceeds patiently, bit by bit, to remove the tough outer husk. This accomplished after several days' work, one of the pinchers Is Inserted In an "eye" of the Inner shell, and tho nut either pounded upon a rock to crack It, or broken up Into small pieces with the claws. Now comes the feast, which last about a week, when a sec ond cocoa nut Is added to the menu. The Organ Grinder Fled. A well-known professor at one of our universities was often annoyed by two Italians playing a street organ before his house. Giving his servant some money, he told her that whenever she heard an organ, she was to go out and pay the owners to take It away. This was a failure. The men, Instead of coming once a week, come twic. One day the sound of the organ dis til rlied the professor while, working at I certain lecture. This so annoyed him that be rushed out and ordered tLe men tway, telling them that If they came gnln he would hand them over to the police. They refused to go unless he rave them more money. K imaged at khelr Impertinence, he raced down the Itreet In search of a policeman. Just as ho turned the corner of the treet be met a sergeant marching nine constables to their Peats. With- jut speaking, he turned and walked llongslde tho procession. When they turned the corner, the Italians saw the professor with the policemen. It was enough. They were both seized with the sudden desire to see how quick-!; they could get the organ out of th , street. The cure was lasting, for th professor diflnres that no on hi' ilnce lieen lsihl enough to ploy frn c gan before hit bouse. Tit lilts M liars (lulorjr anil Hrown. Miss Louise Imogen Ouiuey and Miss Alice Brown huve started together on a walking trip through England. Miss Guincy and Miss Brown have been lit erary coIlulxiruNirs of late, in the " Three New England Heroines" uml now in the Stevenson metnoriuL Miss Brown is a native of New Hampshire, but she spends her winters in Boston, living in an old street that lias numliered among its residents Hawthorne, Lonisa Alcott and Whipple, the essayist. Miss Brown was once on Tho Transcript staff, but now works for Tho Youth's Companion. Mr. Alden calls her one of the strongest nf the younger poeta. Philadelphia Lodger. j Mctwecn IDOOsnd Ibiu mo anolltlon of slavery dtroyd a nominal wealth of I .'CO, 000,000. During the mine period the northern states gained enormously In wealth by the twtablUbmvut of many now Industries. I" FOR LITTLE FOLKS. A QUEER FOSTER FATHER, Tat Did Hots Iha Wator Spanlal Whe Pro Iwlt a llrood ot t'lilrka, I'lmugh gissl dog stories are told ev ery week to till a volume as big as your family Bible. Ju-t the same all the world loves a really clever dog. This story is alsiut a dog that is neither clever nor brave ii.t handsome, and his name Is Bob plaiu Bob, and nothing else. Bob lives ont near Warwick, Mo. Ho is a water span iel, uml one of the fattest dogs in the west. Ho is not a heavy eater, but he is so very gisul huturcd that ho getu fat on lioihing but u clear coiix-ienoo and an even temper. At Bob's home are many chickens and they nil look tip to Bob as their foster father. A queer friend for a chicken is a big, fat water spaniel, but tho chick- ens don't care what or who he is, he is just Bob to them. There is a brood of mother less chicks who are seldom away from him if they can help it Wheu he lies dowu, they climb nsiu his back, which is so broad as to resemble Uie big, flat pud on the back of a oirona horse. They crawl usni bis head aud peck at iiis ears, lie dss not shake them off, however, us most dogs would When Bob walks around the yard, the little chicks hung ou for all they are worth, aud wheu he lies down they all nestle in tiear his puws. In this position dog aud chicks rcmiiiu motionless for hours at a time. The motherless little brood of chicks are getting to bo big fel lows now, but they huve not yet any idea, it seems, of deserting their queer foster futher. A new brood of younger chicks have come into tho yard within a few days, aud they, too, are learning to climb up on Bob's woolly buck, uml to peck at his tongue and noe, ull of which seems to tickle the old fellow very much. It is astonishing to see how careful Bob is when his littloudoptcd children are tak ing an afternoon ride ou his buck. The flue old dog is as gentle as a lamb at such time, uud keei a watchful eye open lor ixissiblo accidents. Kansas City War. Tha Hound of Words, Tho Northwestern Magazine gives the followiug unique composition written by a 13-year-old schoolgirL Let our young readers see if they cannot uiuke it still moro puzzling: "A right suilo little buoy, the son of a kernel, with a rough round his neck, flue np tho road as quick as a dear. Aft er a thy mo he stopstl at the house aud wrung the Wile, His tow hurt hymn and ho kneaded wrest Ho was two tired to raze his fare, pail face, aud a feint mown of lutiie rose from his litis. The made who herd the belle was about to pair a pare, but she through it dowu and run with all her mite, for fare her guessed would not weight, but when she saw the little won tiers st(jod in her eyes at tho site. 'Ewe oordcar. why do you lye hear? Aro yew dyeing? 'Know,' he said, 'I am feint' She hour him inn her arms, us she ought, to a Mum where he might be quiet, gave him bred and meet, held a cent bottle under his knows, uu tido his choler, rupHMl him tip warmly, gave him a suite drachm from a viol, till at last he went forth as hail as a young hoarse. " Tha Idol of liar llarU I've Rut a wlinln meniw rla Anil a Mk, fat lot of tojra. I've Kut a little rublwr duf That aniiuka and nmki-a a oulaa. I'vb K' it a Utile wimilen horse And a littla wissh n cart. But my ilinr old bustd dully Is the lilul of mjr heart. A ItojrUh Hoy King. Not long ago, wheu out with his nurse, the little king of Hpain luw some boys of his own sio and struggled to get away and go to thciiL Oh, but you must not, suid bii English nurse. "Why muy I not go and play with lem, nurse , Because becuuse yon are a little ing," suid the nurse. "Then if you please, nurse, I would rutlmr be a little boy," was the king's reply. Kt Punl'a Wdimi oa I'olloa Farms. Rev. Anna IL Hhuw of Boston, who spoke at the woman's congress lu San Francisco recently, favored having wom en on the police forces of largo cities. There has beeu one offloe I huve longed or," said she, "uud that is the office of policeman. What we want iu Hun rran isco and every other city iu the country s good women ou tho police bourd. If icy were there, there would not be one- thousandth part of the immorality." A falling barometer while a north wind blowing Indicate snow lu winter and rain or hall in imp mar. Slip W&31 MUSICAL REGISTRATION. A Marlilne Maklug aa Ktart Raeord an Nrrvlua aa I'rltle. The savants ot the Sorbonue have be. gun to tiinko use of a little machine which ought, to cause musical critics to tremble fur the future of their profes sinii. The musician, like tho criminal, has a psychology of his own, aud M Billet, the dinvtor nf (lie rtorbouue I '''"ndoty. evidently means to get to the bottom of it. He proceeds upon the I principle that the execution must betray tho psychology of the executant, but ! tho human critic's description of a pi i anist's playing, us impassioned, sensu uus or lymphatic, is much too rough aud i ready for him. Besides no two critics I are ever ill jK-rfect agreement regarding I the subtler details ill the interpretation i of a piece. M. Biuet has therefore adapt i ed a piet of mechanism, invented by I M. Lund, which registers visibly and I with unerring certainty the manner iu which a piot has been played. Ou I piece of paper we aro given a truthful , record of the entire is-iformance, the duration of tho notes, the rapidity of at tack, the variations iu touch, legato. stiuvuto, crescendo, diminuendo in short, everything indicative of tho do grooof musical execution uud expression that has lseu attained. Even a conserv atory examiuer could Uud no fault with the precision, of tho machine's musical judgment Tho apiwiratus which ia to repluce the musical critic is described us being sim plicity itself. It is ail adaptation of the phonograph. It can eiksily lie applied to any piano. A guttu pcrchu tube, is plaited bcueuth the keys, and its extrem ities are iu communication with the rcg isteriug cylinder. To this isuttachod au iuked stylus, which makes its iuiprea sions upon m band of paper druwu along at a regular rule by clockwork. Each key struck inscribes its uiurk, and it is enough to glance at the register to as oertaiu with whut force, speed, etc., the fingers have done their work. If one baud has beuu lu.y, the talo is told and all the false uotes are faithfully set dowu. When the piece is finished, the performer has ut hand an exact record ot what he has done and is in a po sition to couipure his rendering with that of other artists or with previous performances of his own. The ear, in fact, is benteu. Its impressions are fa gitive and subject to error uud are not to be compared with the verdict of tho infallible automat io critic. We may now look forwurd to the day wheu it will be as iudispciisuble iu civilized life us tho thermometer. With it iu tho drawing room, insincere flattery of the budding virtuoso will be impossible, while iu the tiewspuers niusicul criticisms of public performances will nssume both the ap pcurunce and unanimity of meteoro logical cliurts, Wostiuiustor Gazette. tonus of Humor. At breakfast Tennyson was discussed, Mr. Jowett denying that what had been said of Wordsworth, that "within the great niun there was a little nuui," was true also ut lilni, though he had littlo things iu Dim. The want of humor, original or appreciative, was talked of. Mr. Jowott says Gladstone cuu make a few jokes of his owu, but cunuot see other people's. Uoulburu, he says, is an , iustance of a tutm who hus humor of kind, but fails,to see the humor of situ at ions. Iu preaching once nt Rugby chapel, he suid, speaking of evil existing everywhere, thut "even in the ark there was a Hum :" then, seeing thut tho boys hud caught the joke, he added thut of course ho meant tho patriarch. Talking of Dr. Arnold, lie said thut he was too poworfnl, too strong a mun for his posit ioulio stumped upon the boy aud crushed them. Ho wits the re verse of sympathetic. If you were iu great trouble, he would perhaps help you more than any one else, but if, us somo one suggested, you were a little linppy, ho would huve nu sympathy to spare. Arnold hail suid himself thut be could never see a group of Isiys round tho fire without seeing tho devil among them. Hpoukiiig; ubout good talkers, the master said a really good talker must talk from a character. He told a story of a inuii who, ou hearing that he had a mortal compluint, only exclaimed, "I was always lucky. I insured my life last week, Longmuu a Magazine. Fronde's Great Labor. Iu his sixth and lust lecture (delivered in America in 1872)Froudo defended himself and uiisworod his critics thus "My 'History of England' has been com posed from perhaps 700,000 documents, nine-tenths of them iu different maim scripts and iu half a dozen languages. have been unable to trust printed copies, for the manuscripts ofteu tell stories which the printed versions huve con oeuled. I huve been unuble to trust copyists. 1 huve rend everything myself. I huve made my owu extracts from papers which I might never see a second time. I hud to condense puges into single sen tences, to trunsluto, to analyze, aud huve hud afterword to depend entirely ou my own transcript. Uuder such cou ditious it is impossible for me to an swer thut no reference him been mis placed and no inverted comma fullcu to the wrong words. I have douo my best to be emi t, und no writer can uudertuku more." Current Literature. A Trilby Club. There lias recently beeu inaugurated a Trilby club lu Arlington, 14. J., the result of a dream of one of the most uhuruiing of the yonng womeu of that town. The qualification for membership in this club is a left fixtt; the credentials, a picture of it. At present the club hus a score of iiicmls-rs. Euch lias giveu tho picture of her left foot to the club, aud these form the art collection. By unanimous consent the projector of the club, so lovely was herlrilby, was mode president A fear of publicity keeps this club a secret tirgamzutiou, but to give it an air of dignity one mar ried woman hus Imhmi made a member. These pictures' ure oil taken by the young ladies and deveIosd by one of their number. Home of tho photogruphs huve been seen. One especially is a beauty of perfect outline and has the widely sep arated tss over which Little Billee raved, and which are small, slender and gracefuL Such another Trilby, the girls prondly declare, it would tie hard to find, and none there has been to dis pute this. New York Herald. t:iru in utt ceutus was taken, value of the railroad property of this coun try was considered to Is) cqtiul to the oust bf construction and equipmuut a report ed by tbe railroad companies. No account was taken of the inuroaa ol stoca. Am till put her little tisnd iu mine Home might hava thought her hold Ami yet there was no romance, for Hhe's hardly two years old. Louisville Jon run I. Hoax "lines your deutlst take pallia with Is work?" Joax ".No; be glvea them."- Philadelphia Itecord. Alice (l lie friend)-"! don't see how anyone can help loving Blunche." tier trude (the rlvul) "She cuu't help It herself."-Llfe. Fudy "There goes n rah well. He's whut I call a self-mude uniu." Puddy "Yea; (icople who know him Intimate ly say he Is all self." Boston Tran script He "What leads you to call Mr. Bmllux ecceiitrlc'f" Khe "She was tell lug a story the other ulght and began It: 'When I was a girl.' "-Philadelphia Itecord. Attorney for the defense "Now, whut time wus It when you were held np?" Complulnuiit-"! don't know; ni k your client ho took my watch." Chi cago Tribune. "Where are yu going, my pretty tnald?" "To my Christmas shopping, ps," she said. Pa drew a check and wiped his eye, And thought nf the coining buy and bny. New York Heruld. - ' The heiress "I'm afraid rapa will never consent." Tho Impecunious "la your father down on me?" The heiress "No; he says he's up to you." Boston Courier. "Her father won over J'J.000 from tha baron lust mouth at cards." "Aud then the baron asked him for her hand'.'" "Yes. He wanted to get his money buck."-Llfe. Hhe "Hhe's Just about your age. Isn't she?" He "No, I'm much tha older." She "What makes you think so?" ne "We were born lu tho same' mouth of the saino year." Chicago Record. Weary Wutklns "My folks nlwaya told me I was cut out fer gentleman." ' Hungry Hlgglus "Moblie you was. pardner, but ef you was you sure be long In the misfit depart meut." In dlunujiolls Journal, Mrs. fiuaggs 1 was ont after tips this afternoon. Mr. Hiuiggs (who has had expensive exierleuees with tips) Not tips on stocks, surely? Mrs. Hnaggs- No; oMtiich tips. Pittsburg Chronicle- Telegraph. A rose by any other name would smell as sweet, As truly would, I ween, a dozen such; - But just to make the sentiment complete. A rose by sny other name would mat ss Diiieh. i Philadelphia Record. "You walk as if your shoes were too tight old man." "Oh, no. They're very large." "oh, that may be." "Well, then, what " "I wasn't referrlug to their wlze. I merely said tliey were. right" -Chicago Post. ' Mr. Dunn - I called to see about a lit tle bill I left here about A month ago. Mr. Short -h. It's all right; yon needn't be alarmed. I've laid It away where it won't be disturbed. No iiihnI for you to. rail sgitlii.- Boston Tranwrh.it. ' I believe." wild the young man, "lu giving the devil his due." "I'm-yes," replied bis father, who was looking over tilie MtnlM of bis rtieck-book. "Still,! I don't quite see the propriety of your paying him at my expense." Washing. tou Hlur. Jinks I am alwaya embarrassed when I want to say the word T-a-s-e. I dou't know whether to say vaie, vace,. vuhs, or vawse. Bluks Yuu might take hint from our hired girl. Hhe simply speaks of nil oriiuuieuts us "them Uiere."-Trulh. i Wayworn Watson W'y, w'at you runnlu' fer? Hid 4is set the dog on, ye? Perry Patetlc Naw. But she set, me out a whole half chicken, bread, I butter'n jelly an' a pack o' cigarettes.; I bet she wants to marry met Clncin-i not I Enquirer. I Cripple Please help a poor man, sir; I lost my leg on the field. Wigwag, Why, you're too young to have been lm tbe war. Cripple (Indignantly) Who's; talking about war? I wish you to un-i dorstand, sir, that I am an ex-foot-ball player. Philadelphia Record. "Come, sirrah," ssld the Sultan; "maksi New promises for me, And plsinly mark them 'frag Us,' And ship them C. U. D." a-Wsshiugton Htsr. A little Boston girl who had recently learned to repeat the Lord's prayer was asked by her mother IX she knew the neanlngof "Forgive ns our trespasses.' Why, yes," she replied; "it means ex cuse us for going on the grass." Bos ton Qazette. I As Cnappraelated Klndneaa, Young women who officiously offer older women thulr seats In the street cars should look before they leap. A well dressed girl saw one of her sex enter a not Overcrowded elii'trlo car the other day and sprang forward with the request that she should have the place. "No, thanks," re plied the other, with the utmost aplomb. 'I never take a cripples aeut. "rlii m not a cripple," returned the young woman, much mortllleil. Ah, In that cusn I will lot my little boy occupy it," and the 7-year old youngster was pushed Into the vacant pluoei 'That's the Inst time I shall ever offer any woman, If she's 100, my sent, " said the victim as she "moved up" to the other end of the cur. "Why, she was Just touching you a lesson not to he no dreadfully con siderate to ber age," rejoined a girl In tha penwiper rain. "It served you right" Boston Herald. A Clorar Trio. Miss Magill won the silver challenge cup at the spring meeting of the Comity Down Ladies' Golf club In ireiaim. Miss Tyrrel carried off the captain s prize, aud tbe ojieu competition prize was awarded to Miss McCuualaud, who . was unanimously elected as captain of the club for the present ytar. 6