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About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 28, 1895)
EUGENE CITY GUARD, frtirMUr, EUGENE CITT. OREGON. HE GOT A CLKHKS11IP THI SENATOR MADE A BLUNDER BY WHICH THE APPLICANT PROFITED. WkM eVaator Maak Waate jtatiilag Frem IwnUi; Chaadler, He WnW II Bad Haw the lou Mm Wm Let Dowa Eaay and Remained. Back la ths seventies, when Zach Chandler wa at the bead of tba interior department, a young man from on of tba western tates cam to Washington to try clerical life in one of tbe depart ment!. He had been quite a ward poli tician in liia western borne and Imagined both tbe senators from his state won Id be glad to do blin a favor. He (pent seversl dsys taking In tbe sights of tbe rapital, then went np to the aenate one afternoon and writ in bii card to Sena tor Blank. Tbe aenator responded promptly, bad tbe visitor abown Into tbe marble twin, and for aome time tbey sat on a sofa together, talking of borne newi and tbe home crop. Then the yonng tmiu broke the ice by inform ing the senator just what kind of a place be wanted didn't care much wbat de partment It wa In. "Well, I don't know," aaid the aena tor. "Hard places are not to be found every duy, and there are bnndredi bore from about every itule in the Union looking for ahnoHt anything In tbe ehape of an appointment "Come np to bit house about 8 o'clock tmi'ghf," saldthe senator, "and we'll talk the matter over." rrotnptly at the appointed time be pulled tbe doorbell and waa ushered in to tbe library, where be found the aen ator pnfllng a cigar aud looking over Tbe Evening Star. "Ah, good evening, Mr. I I waa Just thinking of yon," aaid Senator Blank. "I have writteu a atroug letter to Secretary Chiindlur, requesting biiu to give you a potltiou in tbe Interior departnieut" picking np an unhealed letter from hla dink aud banding it to tbe young ofllce seeker "and I wonld suggest tliut yon call at hia office aud present it about 10 o'clock tomorrow morning. I have also muiled the aecre tary a little personal note, letting him know tlmt when I wunt auytbing in hia office I want it bud." The young weMternur waa bowed out of the room with iinllea aud a beiirty bandshska At hia botul he aut dowu to think over hia good luck. Then he thought of the senator's letter, and pull ed It out of hla pocket and lead: Ubab rninimtii-Hiiu tltue famwrrow morning a young- rill n of my urn.! ami glo rious alula will call on yB wllh a airing In duraenient fnin ma Air a rli-rkahlp. I bave bo earthly Inlereat in blot, ao I turn bim uvrr to Vuor teaidef mercy. Let blin down eaay. ours, HtjtKK. Tbe young man dropped tbe letter, and a big sign struggled np from under hia watch pocket "I wonder whut he mid in the little note be untiled to tbe secre tary?" thought the young candidate. Then he realized that the aenator had given him the wrong letter, and be at once determined to rail at tbe interior department the nest morning aud see whut Ibo next chupter would bring fort It. About 10 o'clock the next forcnoou the colored mearn'Oger allowed a young man into Secretary Chandler's office. "Senator Blank told me hint night be bad written you and sdvised me to rail on yon Uila morning," aaid the young gnatlenian. "Ah, yea," entiled tbe aecretary good naturally, picking np from bia (leak en open letter aud glancing over it. "The eeuattar tpeaka of you iu the highest tetuta, aud la very urgent iu hia rctpicM for your appointment Wait a uioiuent" And touching a be II he arut hia messen ger for tbe chief clerk. After a mo mont'e couve raation with lite chief clerk the aecretary laid : . "Youirsfortuuuta There la a 1 1, 500 clerkship made vacant by restguutiou tbia morning, and 1 have ordered your appoiutmeut to the place." A mouth later Souator Blank waa walking through the patent office, and In tbe corridor met the new clerk In hla office coat The aenator waa surprised aud a trifle disconcerted, but be thook hands with bia young friend and aaid be wai glnd to tee him there. "Well, I'm glnd to be here," respond ed Uie clerk. "And, eeualor," putting lilt band inside bia vent and looking squarely iu the other'i eye, "right in my tuaide pocket I keep that little per tone! note you thought yon mailed to Secretary Chandler, telling him when you wauted a thing yon wauted it bad. " Explanation were nmieccasary. The aenator weut out of publio life and died long ago, but tbe clerk mouagea to squeeie along through the hard timet ou bit 1,800 a year. Washington Star. Tfc Flret teeeoa af aa Arab I to jr. Tbe very flnt lossou which an Arab baby learut wbeu be brgiua to talk la to keep facta to hlmaelf. It doet not aonnd very friendly put iu that way, but It aavet a deal of trouble. Foreign era do not underataud Arabs. Tbey auk them pointed questions and receive pe culiar answers Tbey oonatrue Uie an twert to please tbemaelvet, and come away to tell the world that the Araba are a nation of Han. Tbey are not a na tion of liara. IVrbapa if they abonld tell Uie foreigner to mind their own affair and let them and theirt alone the for eigner would understand them better. "Yauioud," by lleury Wlllard French. In 8t Nichols. tUeateelaa. Blenheim It one of the biggest and most beautiful placet of the kind In Euglaud, and the expennee of keeping It up ere enormous. The late Duke of Marlborough used to lay that it coat t'800 a year In pntty, aud thia may be true, tiuce there It a great deal of glass about the place. Loudon Tit Hits. Neutrality It no favorite with Provt dance, for we are to farmed that it It scarcely possible for nt to tiaud neuter In our heart, although we may deem II prudent to appear ao in oar actions Ooltoa. The word rival at first meant a brook, then wai applied to the persona who lived on opposite tide and quarreled about the water, and still later It waa andorstood at applying to contestant for any detlred object DUNRAVEN'S CHARGE. Nothing ao aerlout at foul play waa suggested over here. Hi complaint oame aim ply aa the caanal crankineat of a bad tempered and exasperated man, Aa we all know, we raced with Lord Duuraveu and he returned home, aud ilno hi insolence haa reached the polut to which It ha developed iu England, we leave it to The Pall Mall Gazette and all telf respecting Englishmen to that he it properly hornewbipped over there, aa be ought to be. Tbey owe it to o. New York eon. Dunraven't charge It a charge of rat callty agaluat tbe gentlemen of the De fender tyndloate and agaluat tbe New York Yacht olub. The charge tbat Mr, Vanderbilt, Mr. Morgan aud Mr. Iaelin, tbe tyndicate, woold atoop to ancb ao tion i aa Inaultiug aaabaard. They and the gentleman composing the New York Yacht olub are safe from injury by alle gations of unsportsmanlike action. Dun raven seems determined to compel Amer leant who sympathise with him in de feat to tubatitnte oontempt for symps thy. Utica Herald. If be believed that a club of which he waa a member bad been guilty of rob' bory and conspiracy, be ought to have promptly ottered hit belief and given bit substantiating facta without waiting nutfl he had reached tho other aide of tbe Atlantic According to bit own statement, Dunraven It a coward. Any further raclug with Dunraven it out of the question, for ho haa barred himself from the society of geutlemeu. But tbe New York Yacht clob onght to demand thatitt "honorary" member, Lord Dun raven, tubstautlate or withdraw hit oharge of cheating. Biugbamton Be publican. A FORMIDABLE YACHT. Will Ba aa Built That It Caa Ba Traaa- form ad lata a War Vaeset P. W. Morgan of Chicago hat just let the contract for a ateam steel yacht, resembling a modern torpedo boat of tbe Ericsson type, and ao built that it can In a few bourt be transformed into a formidable war vessel for aervlce on tbe great hikes. It will be schooner ridged, with two pole musts, supplied with uu on t fit of sails, to be owed lucase iif accident to the niuchinery, which will five the yacht a speed of four or five miles an hour. The vessel will be built of steel, divided by five steel watertight bulkheads Into sli compartments aud its dimensions will be: Length on water line, HO feet; on deck, 180; beam, on water linn, 17 feet 4 Inches; on deck, 18 feet S Inches. Tba bow will projeot six feet beyond the deck, sloping ont aud down to the water line. From the watei line the fore foot Is rut away, so as to give it the ram thai similar to the bows of the Uuited State cruisers Minneapolis, Now York end Columbia. Tbe engine will tie of the triple expansion type, with cylinders 13, 19.1, and SO inches diameter by 15 Inches stroke. Thia will turn a bronze screw propeller, 8 feet 6 Incite Iu diameter, 800 revolution per minute and give the yacht a speed of 18 miles isr honr. 1 1,1 lint lill.ir , li a i .nAiilul na tA will be takeu to have it conform to the requirements of the navy department, as well as the Inland Lloyds. The ob ject is to bnild a ship that In a few hours eaii be turned Into a war vessel in case of trouble with Canada. It will be built at Rncina New York Ilerald. Talking Through a Rtraaas of Water. "I have a most remarkable telephone in my house," remarked a resident of the western addition. "1 noticed that at time I could hear very distinctly tbe conversation iu the uext house. Sudden ly It would be broken off short in the middle of a sentence, and I could not hear another word. It would become audible aguin just aa emldculy. "By a series of experiment I bave found ont that the touud is conducted by the water running through the pipes. Wbeu the water ia turned ou iu my bouse, I can hear all the conversation in any of the rooms next door iu which there ia miming water. When I turn off the water, all sounds stop suddenly. "1 told my neighbor of it, and we have put It to practical one. When I wish to apeak to him, I tap ou the win dow, he tnrua on the witter in his house aud llsteu while I talk to him over the water pipe In au ordinary time of voice. When I have finished, he turns off the water ia bit home and I turn It ou iu mine and listen. In that way we can carry on long conversations with at much ease as it he were in the room with me. Still onr house are about SO feet apart" San Frauclsco Poet Quirk Shipbuilding. At tpeciuient of rapid construction the seven gunboats which the Thomtona of Clydebank built for Spain to be need agalnt the Cuban iusurgentt are note worthy eveu among the famout feat a of modem British shipbuilding. They range from 100 to 800 tout' displace meut. With speo.li from ) to 18 kuota, and carry maxim rapid fire gnus, the latgeit being the t inch. The con tract wis signed July II last, aud the first vessel waa launched Ang. 84 and ready for delivery fept II, or In exact ly two motithi from Uie ilgutng of the ooutract Indeed the work on her wat not really begun. It ia aaid, until July IS, to that she waa completed in seven week aud three day. Meanwhile the other tlx were golug along at tbe tame pace, for it appear that tbey were all completed by Oct 1, ten days thort of the contract time, although the last of them was launched as late aa Sept SO. Tbe launching of one after another of tbe enormous new battleships withiu a year of their laying down it another in stance of ipeed iu British shipbuilding, but the finishing of these mounter will be a long tusk. New York Sun. Oaa af Baa Trtrk. A itory ibat Las been written about Field concerns the trick he played on two carloads of Kansas City merchant who went away one time ou an excur sion. Each ear was to go by a different route, aud tbe car separated at an early boor In the morulng when everybody wat asleep except Gene Field, who waa along to write up the trip. Just before the cart parted omnpauy be carried all tbe shoe from oue a lee per Into tbe other and carefully exchanged them. Then be took the shoe from the sleeper that bad a double supply and carried them Into the tleeper where nobody hid any shoe. Tbe next morning there waa a blue streak two way acroat Kanta Every a la both lis per a was mils ant Ktllat wy fron kit rwa ibo.- IT WAS LITTLE CROW THI BAD INDIAN KILLED BY YOUNQ CHAUNCEY LAMP80N. A Lsada af tha Bloas Who Mlsdaads Bsaaa With aa Aat af Baas Is-ratltada. Tba OoveraaMot's atragflat With tha HatUlas Daring tha War. The BJonx or Dakota tribe of Indi ans bat been for a considerable time tbe most powerful confederation of aborig ine on the American continent Tbey conld place today several thousand war riors to the field, and they have giveu onr government much trouble during tbe past generation. It waa the tiioux who were tbe moat actively engaged in war wltb ua, after the discovery of gold In California in 1849 caosed inch a stream of emigration across the conti nent ; tbey were tbe leaden in tbe de struction of Cun tor and his command; It Wil tbey who perpetrated the terri ble massacres of IHfi'i in Minnesota and who came to near bringing on a general wir in 1800-1. Among tbe famona lenders of the Sioux wat Little Crow, who it the be ginning of the outbreak of 18(13 was living Iu a comfortable brick house near one of the agencies, which hod been erected by onr government as an induce ment for him to help in the civilization of bit tnrbulnut people. He was count ed upon a one of the ttanchest frieuda of tbe white and indeed bod lost caste with many of bit own people because of his support of their measure. Yet on the fatal day in August when the fierce backs ran to bit honse and awoke him from sleep to ask hit advice aa to wbat should be done, Little Crow, instead of counseling peace, told them that, Inasmuch at trouble must inevita bly occur betweeu the whites and hit people, it might at well begin then at at any time. He proposed that tiK-y should go to the igeucy and kill the traders and volunteered to act as their leader. Having thnt identified himself with the hoetilca, he became oue of the most bitter and unrelenting of them alL He potseswed considerable ability, and he threw himself heart and soul into the fight. Ho wnt the leader in several of the moat decisive defeats received by detachments of troops; wot In command in the attack! on New Ulin, Fort Kidge ly and the agencies, struck many hard blow a, and though be personally did not wish to torture prisoners was too weuk to prevent hit men from doing aa It always take a civilized govern ment a considerable while to shake it self into shape when such a crisis come. Tbe civil war being then under way, quite a numlier of armed men were in Minnesota because of the call of Presi dent Lincoln for volunteers. By and by Colouel Sibley wa able to reach the In diane, with the consequence that they were badly beaten. Not only did the majority surrender, but the leaders in the atrocious butcheriea were caught and tried and 88 were hanged at Man kuto in February, 1803. Little Crow, however, fled northward with a large body of warriors and took refuge in tbe neighborhood of Devil't lake, where, the following year, he re newed bit crime and outrages. He was so defiant that be noli nod Colonel Sib ley where he was, adding that toon he intended to arrive with bit men at the Yellow Medicine agency. The authorities became ao incensed against tbe Sionx because of their atroc ities that they organized scouts to hunt them down aud offered a reward for every one that was killed. Such wat the ttate of affairs when, ou Friday after noon, July 8, 1803, Chauucey Lamp son, a boy, and bit father, were walk ing alotig the road several miles north of Untchinsou, one of the towns that bad suffered severely from the massacre. Each bad a gun over hit shoulder, and they were walking side by tide, talking in low tonet, when the lou suddeuly touched the arm of hit father aud point ed to a little clearing, opeuiug into the wood ahead. The two baited at tight of a couple of Iudiaut picking berries. Their back were toward the white, who softly stepped behind the tree and held a whispered consultation at to what wat best to da There wa no doubt thnt the Indian were hostile, and bad they seen the other first would bave shot them. Mr. Lampson and hit boy decided to antici pate them. Taking advantage of the shelter ifforded by a poplar surrounded with undergrowth, the father crept near enough to secure a good aim, when he fired at one of the Indians. Tbe savage threw up hia arun with a yell aud fell to the ground badly wounded. Not knowing how many Indians might be near, Mr. Lampson began a cantioua re treat, but wnt obliged to expose himself in doing to. Tbe wounded Indian bad partly risen and aimed at bint. At the same lustaut Cbauucey, the eon, drew bead ou the wounded savage, while tbe unwounded one leveled bis gnu at tbe boy. Bather singularly, all three fired at the same moment Mr. Lauipaon received a flesh wouud In the shoulder, the ball of the unharm ed warrior grased the boy' cheek, while the missile of the youth instantly killed the wouuded Indian. Then, fearing a charge from a war pny, Chaunoey dashed off for help. At it grew dark the father ttarted tor home by a circuitous route aud safely reached there aftor midnight The body of the tlaiu Indian waa carried to Hutciiiusou, where, to the astonishment aud relief of all, it waa identified at that of the famous chief Little Crow. Detroit Free frees. Ska Ont aa Ana war. The eon of an English earl, Hiving in Vleuua, wit one eveuing at a diuner tc which also bad been Invited tome of the most distinguished htdie and gentlemen of that city. One of the ladies, noted even among her intimate friend for say ing shrewd but ungraciout thlags, con sidered the Englishman worthy of ber toinewbtt embarrassing observations and amtllugly asked him bow It wat tbat lb English people generally spoke French to Indifferently. "Why, my lord," the added, encour aged by the smile of tome of the oth er, "w Austrian use that tongue with tha tame freedom aa we do our native language." "Madame," was tbe bltint rejoinder tha had little anticipated, "I ran only account for it by the fort that you bave twice entertained tbe French army in your capital, and wt bave never pv cult tad tbeta to enter our I" 8all It Ilka good h amoralmost trythlng to bettor for a ptaoa of It B Kaew His Owa Bassa. Awltnes in Judge Low' department of the police court came near being tent to Juil for contempt of court for telling tba truth. Tha witnesi wat called and tworn. "Wbat la your name?" asked Prose cuting Attorney Madden. "L Deuau," repeated the witnes. "Whaft that?" demanded tbe judge. "L Denan," repeated the witness. The judge and prosecuting attoruey tared at each other in blank imize tnent "Look here, sir," roared the judge, when he had recovered bit breath. "You will not be permitted to trifle with thlt court " "Well er I only know wbat I have alwayt been told was my name," ex plained the emuarrawed witness. "Of course I can't swear to it, but if it it not my true name, I'd like to kuow it, your honor." i "That it all any niuu knowt of bit ; name," declared the judge, "What ' bave you been told was your name?" "L Denau, sir." "You don't know? Mr. Clerk, enter up an order" "I didn't say I didn't kuow,"hutily explained the witness. "I said my name wa L Deunn Iguoti Denan, sir." "Ob," said the judge. "Oh," echoed the prosecuting attor ney. Ban Francisco Post Charm of Htevanaoo's Style. , But the main fact which entitle it to j be called a perfect style is .nt oouatuuey i in excellence aud charm. It is alwuys j firm and complete iu texture, and uui j form in the sense tbat, while it vatic in spirit to suit the subject in hand, it doe not vary in quality from line to ; line, from page to paga I thiuk that i Stevenson himself has really written j perfect pages, and at all event his j tyle delight us more as a whole than . in any of it parts, striking or exquisite though many of these may still appear I when torn away from their context If yon like best to be surprised by inde pendent epigrams, by unexpected bnrsta of cloqueuce, by sudden marvels of ex pressional felicity, turn to tome other writer. Stevenson will not amaze you thus. But except very slightly now aud then in hit earliest efforts he will never i disappoint you or let yon dowu. Aud tltil experience ought to seem more amazing than any other could. To do things flawlessly from end to end is a rarer and more satisfying merit thuu to do portions of them magnificently welL To strike a beautiful key and always maintain it, even when treating of ugly or commonplace things, and yet to keep the thing and ita expression in accord thia it the noblest of literary triumphs. "Robert Louis Stevenson and Hit Writing," by Mrs. M. O. Vau Keniue- laer, in Century. VlaappolatBunts of mm M. P. One of the great dUuppointmentt In I the life of an M. P. is that, though tci- I lions come and sessions go, his little pet scheme of legislation, which be hoped to be uble to place on the statute book, never advanced beyond the initiatory tngo of fitvt reading. Another cruel disappointment is that, after devoting days ami nightt to taxing his bruiu for antitheses, epigram and other flowers of rhetoric for hit speech iu a great de bate, he patiently tits night ufter night during the time allotted for the debate, ou the pounce to "catch the speaker'! ere," but fail to fix the attention of that wandering orb, while he hears his arguments arid his illuMrutious used by other men, who have prolmbly gone to the same source for them, until at last the end come without mi opportunity having been afforded him to relieve his mind of the weighty unspoken speech which oppreasea it Then hit constitu ents complaiu thut he it i neloF8 "silent member" if they do not see his name figuring iu the newspaper report. They are convinced be it neglecting hit duty. What consolation is it to hint to think of tbe old saying that "they are tbe wisest part of parliament who use the greatest silence," or of the opiuion of the party leaders especially the leaders of tbe party in office that be is the most useful of members who never takes part In the debate, but it ever at band to record bit vote when the division belli : ring out their alarm? Chambers' Jour nal rrlnat I, a King la Eslla. The Figaro gives, apropos of the Channel islands, some interesting de tail of "uu roi eu exit," but of a king who never reigned and an exile who never wandered. The monarch iu ques tion I Priuet I aud tho lust of that dynasty. He relgued over the Ecrehous Islauds, a small group lying to the northeast of Jersey. He had, however, ouly oue subject, hi Wife, nd perhaps that it more than all married men cnu boost of. The royal residence was in Blauque He, and here the king earned a narrow living, his revenue comiug from fish, smuggled brandy and pigeon breed ing. The pigeons he generally ate, A high tide from time to time invaded his kitchen, and also the throneroom, which was next to the kitchen. He held bia wife. Queen Philippe, under dospotio control and made her work hard Iu household avocations. Oue of her principal taskl must have beeu repairing the royal wardrobe, aa it is recorded that her graciou majesty the queen of England presented him with a vest some 80 year ago, aud that he wears it itill. Queen Philippe then pre sented her lister monarch with a piece of embroidery. Prinet I had fallen upou evil dnyt aud it uow an exile in the hospital at St Heliera. Pall Mall Qa eette, All Ih Rama, "Have yon any flounce?" asked Tony Plppiu, with au abstracted air, as he In serted hi leg under a table in one of those quick dispatch restaurants in Tark row. The fluffy hired waitre glanced dowu at her plaiu black skirts, blushed laboriously and said : "What was tbat yoa wauled?" "Flounce." "How'll you have 'em baked, boil d, thirrtd or bias?" the girl reepomled facetiously. She thought Mr. Pippin wai given to repartee, "I want them fried with bacon." Tony responded, with some leverity. "Will you take my order!" "Ye. If you call for auything on the bill Thi ain't no Cbtaere laundry." Struck by a tudden fear. Mr. Pippin grabbed the thumb painted menu, scan ned th oyster list for a moment and then said meekly t "I toads a mistake. It's scallops I waa t ' New York Journal 1 I voiiNft GASOLINE FIENDS. I wvlTM THE Tmn - ! 6LEEP, BABY, suttr. - ... Orar tb sos a lady oame, Blsap. alaep, swart ly sleep. Klfht waa the beautiful Uxljr'a name, Blwp. sleep, sleep. Her sres llks two stars ahun soft and brtgbk Bar vote Ilk tba breexa s ronrmnr Hgbt Kind and gentle sad luvrly night; Bleep, baby sleep. How tender her lov for each llttl ona, bleep, sleep, sweetly sleep. She softly called wbso lbs day was dona, "Bleep, sleep, sleep. "Dear Utile children." I beard her ssy, "You moat ba tired now. Btup your play And sums with ma to dreamland awsy. .Bleep, baby, sloep. "Shut your eyes If yon want to go, Bleep, sleep, sweetly sleep. Hafe In my arras I'll carry yoa so, Bleep, sleep, sleep. Over the ocean flying font Earth with its cloud and storm Is past Hen Is the beautiful land at last; Bleep, baby, sleep. "Bach a wonderful, happy land, Bleep, alip, sweetly sleep. Children laughing on every bund. Bleep, sleep, sleep. Flowers more guy than onr beautlia of spring. Vtulc mora full than oar birds can sing, Huu.hina and fairies and-every bright thing. Bleep, buby, sleep." Josephine Parkman in Yonth'sCompanloo. A NOVEL INDUSTRY. Hew Ona Man Makes a Living by Buylag Canadian Money. All through that part of tbe country (northern Ohio) there is a discount of 20 cents on every Canadian dollar. Of course Canndion money i not as much in circulation as is the legal tender of the United States, but tliero was enough for hit purpose. A man advert ined in all aurromidiiig country town that he would redeem Cuumliun money for 90 centi on the dollar. It was tome time before he hod any results from this ad vertising. It was like the mun who stood ou Loudon bridge at miduight and offered to give awuy sovereigns. People laughed at him. The farmers were shy. They thought it was a swindling game of some kind and left him severely alnue. Oue duy a man came iu with $10 Cauadiun money. It was of all shapes and sizes from the S cent piece that looks like a dime to a dollar bill drawn on the Bunk of MuutreuL It he had spent it, he could have secured H worth of goods for it. My man gave bim uiue big silver dollars in Uuited States mou ey for it Before tbe week was out he bud exchanged Uuited States dollars for $250 worth of Canadian money. This would give bim a profit of ,' j wherever Cunada money is as good us our own. From that time ou the business grad ually increased, until today he averages about $150 a week. lunteud of huviug tbe furmera come to him be goes to them and bnys their accumulated suv lugs of Canada coiu. They are all his customers aud know bim well in the five years they have doue business together. "Are you not afraid of competition in your business in cose it becomes gener ally known!" I asked. "No," said he, "you tee, it requires a comparatively large amount of money as a starting capital. Then I have to have men iu the frontier cities who will give mo Uuited States money fur my Cunada currency. I generally take a trip twice a yeur to Dotroit, Cleveland, Chicago and Buffalo, where I make these exchanges. All this requires years of preparation, aud no outsider could step iu aud inuke ex change with my putrous, at they have all flie money they con bundle now, even at a 3 per cent commission ou the dollar. "Buffalo Express. Oeneral Mile. A member of various social organiza tions, General Miles yet tuket much wore pleasure in home thou in club life lie has tbe happy art of making strong aud loyal friends. He bus alwuys enjoy ed outdoor sports and athletic exercises aud did not mix, you may be sure, be ing at the America's cup races in Sep tember. He is fond of horseback riding aud appe;trs to great advantage mount ed, but hat come to prefer the bicycle, aud in his daily spins ou the wheel his daughter or his ton, a lud about to euter bis teens, is often hi companion. He likes to have pet animals about him, es pecially good dogs, "aud his pets," as a frieud once said, "are the pets of the whole family. " In manner the general it quiet and self controlled, but none the less affable and courteous, and it has beeu remarked that he never refuses to see anybody who calls upou him. Perhaps it is a system atic method iu routine work, with a habit of. beginning as soon as possible whatever bus to be duue, thut gives him this abundant leisure for visitors. The members of his family have access to bis library iu bis working hours and never seem to disturb him. Ho is free from affectations und presents no eccentrici ties or angularities with which to point a "character sketch. "George E. Poud in McClure' Magazine. Knew How It Would Ba. The simplicity of children is some time hard to fathom. Iu the following case, for instance, reported by au ex change, waa the boy' innocence real or affected? lie had brought borne hi monthly school report, which made a poor showing:- "Tbi is very unsatisfactory, " said bis father as he looked It over, "lam not at ill pleased with it" "I knew you wouldn't be," answered tbe little boy. "I told the teacher so, but the said she couldn't chinge it" Youth' Companion. It Alt Dependa. "So you and Mie Brown have been married," said the St Paul man pleas antly. "We hive," replied tbe Minneapolis man, with just a shade of suspicion iu hia tone. "Made one, as it were," "Whit?" The Miuneapolii man wai more suspicious thau ever. "I say you bave beeu legally made one," "Not for tbe purpose of censn enu merators, lir," returned the Minneapolis man quickly. "I looked tbat up niysell before I proposed. We count aa two in tbe census, and don't you forget it. " Chicago Post. Taking Ka Rlaka. "I id not going to tike my meali at lbs Hash restaurant any locaor " " Why not?" "I heard the proprietor tell a delin quent customer to 'pouy up !' " Detroit Frws) Press. Knar originally signified only boy; then, ai most waiters sud page were boys, it was applied to male servants, sod as not a fw of the wars of rough 1th bsbitt. tt finally earns to mean a rat- Pblladelpbla Boys DUrover an iBlnsleaet Tbat Is Haw to The in. Gasoline as an intoxicant bat lately gained much favor among the Juvenile Of tbe eoutheiistern section of the city, nd the Twenty fifth district policemen re having their own tronblet trying to prevent the boyt from securing their tipple or taking care of them ufter they bave secured it Some time ago s crowd of urcbint se cured an old gasoline barrel, with which tbey Intended muking a fire. Previout to ignitiDg it, however, one of the party hid from hit companions by jumplug in side of it. He rather enjoyed the odor of ttale gasoline aud inhaled the fume for tome time, until finally when be tried to get out of bit hiding place he found bit only escape wat to roll out He wa almost completely overcome by the fumes sud unable to walk straight. When be did recover, he told the others that the seusatiou wat most delightful, sud immediately empty gasoline burreli were at a premium. The great discoverer of the new jag method was oue Jumee Dougherty, and rood he, with several others, became coufirmed gasoline drunkards. Some dayi ago two of the boys found a barrel outside a corner grocery, and its removal uuseen not being au eafy matter they glued their noses to tbe baughole and were soon wrapped in it protty band painted, close fitting jag as any of their elders could wish for. While iu thit condition they were discovered by Po liceman Goodchild and sent home, it being supposed that they were tick. Through the past week other boys, mildly intoxicated, were noticed, bat it was not until Friday lost that the secret as to the method employed leaked out. Then George Goldthrop, aged H years, of 1420 Snyder avenue, was found near Second aud Mifflin streets serenely un conscious behind a lumber pile and wot sent to the police station. He recovered after several hours, aud in the morning the story was learned. It seems that after exhausting the supply of barrels tbe boyt bit on a uovel schome for ob taining their favorite intoxicant All through the First ward are numer ous gusoliue street lamps. The tanks on these were filled daily, and it was an easy matter for the boys to climb np tbe poet", aud get at the tank. They sat urated old pieces of cloth with the fluid, sud with these' pressed tight over their noses and mouths inhaled the funiei nutil the desired stage of intoxication wit reached The police now have or ders to watch the lumps aud to arrest any one who tampers with them. The parents of tbe boys known to be addict ed to the practice were called up by Lieutenant Hurmer aud lectured ou the doings cf their children. Tbe surgeons of tbe district suy thut the inhalation of the fumes mny cause dangerous results, Philadelphia Record. f nglleh Judges, The London Saturday Review declares that inasmuch as judges will not retire whin they are too old tbey ought to be compelled to do sa Beginning with the court of appeals, it points out that Lord Esher, the master of the rolls, is 80; Lord Justice Kuy is 73; Lord Justice Liudley is 67, and Lord Justice Lopes is 08. Of the lords of appeal in ordinary, Lord Morris is G8 ; Lords Watson and blinnd ore 67. Coming to the high court of justice, Justice Hawkins is 78; Bar on Pollock is 72; Justice Day is 60; Justice Chitty aud Justice Wills ore C7, aud Justice North and Justice Muthew are 65. Sir Richard Conch and Lord Hobhouse of the judicial committee of the privy council ure 78 and 67 respec tively. "Old judges," it adds, "are like other old men, neither better nor worse thut is to suy, they are peevish, ca pricious, callous of the interests and feelings of other men and shirkers of their work. They are not responsible for these defects, which are due to their physical condition, and they would not be human if they did not show them. Lord Esher't Irritability in the court of appeal when he has a strange or stupid counsel before him it painful to wit ness." Frattarolo Brothers Not Robber. The two well kuowu brittauds. the brothors Fratturolo, paid a visit a few days ago to the country house of a rich quire at Vico Gitrganico, near Foggia. The iquire, who happened to be on the poiut of departure and whose horse was lreudy saddled, was not overjoyed at the sight of the brigunds, but dared not offend them. They, however, tpoke to him very politely, begging him not to be afraid of them and saying they were the same as other men. After having lunched with the brigands and offered them cigars the squire banded them a note for 100 francs, which, however, they refused, coutendiug that they were not robbers, but thut they weut about tbe oonutry trying to avenge themselves on their enemies. When their host took hit departure on horseback, the brothers offered to accompany him part of the woy, which they did, mounted on their mules. The squire was not sorry, as may be imagiued, to see the last of them. London News, Agricultural Chemlatry. Chemistry ns the handmaiden of agrl culture has achieved a wonderful suo cess. Fertilizing the fields haa not only becomo s w ell understood business, but is an exact science. There are methods of recovering waste products and utilix ing heretofore useless matter. It i known what it required to produce the best potatoes and other crops, each oue having supplied to it the chemical ne cessities of its existence Land, sea and the elements are taxed to furnish the coustitnenu necessary to the best growth of vegetation. It would have been a jorprise to our ancestors had they been tola that there are common plants which derive s very small portion of their sub sistence from the soil, but are fed from the air aud water; therefore, to under stand the theories of druiuage, rainfall, evaporation and absorption are matter, of the utmost moment. To nothing does agriculture owe such a debt as to tci ence, for by its means the waste placet of the earth cau lie made productive, and by the introduction of new chemical ele ment! malarial and unwholesome soili ire made fertile aud transformed Into healtby aud agreeable dwelling placea 2ew York Ledger. Acre once meant any fidi It ia .tin urxl with thi lignificiuice by the Ger nan. speak of God's acre, allud a v me cemetery. law ,iuu" deaf mute i. a ""--TeaM I watched hint I love going from bu - (Ab, would to Oud I had died I), And I prayed to tbe great all Father To stay tha turu of tba tide. To stay th ebb I And b barkened, and aver the waves rulh-d on, Till meadow and garden and UMtgerow, I eould sea them never a one. For I knew that my lore wiu dying. At the turn ut the tide be mini Tbe soul msy not b-ara (ta dw, i. Till betwixt the ebb and lb Oow. And the people who all florked InUm Tbey railed It a gnat springtide. And 1 listened and joined In their a ... f L u. 1 n.w !.... , ,. V"W UUI i a.'w ... m.j . . .m uod. And ray love as be wnt, bed the wt Highod wearily fur bia real. Then I prayed once niore to our TttU, For 1 saw that bis will waa beat. Aa the sea went slowly Ixw kwurJ Tbe spirit of one who bad died Visa borne on tbo wiwte of watera. For tho soul nitiat go with the tide Florence I'eacoek Iu London A-,r HERE IS A MODEL Buabaads May Faahlua Tbemaelvet Aft. Tbia Approved Style. Scene 1 Front parlor. Enter k baud, trimming hit cuffs with s pi, cissors. Wife Good morning, dear. Husband Good morning. Wife Do you wish anything? Husband No. Exit husband. Scene 3 Library. Euter htubu. sewing s button on bis vest. Wife What are you doing, dear? Husband Nothing. Wife Why, yes, you are I Husband No, I'm not Exit husband. Scene 8 Laundry. Husband widiC) a handkerchief. Enter wifa Wife Are you busy, my dear? Husband No. Wife Are you sure uow? Husband Positive. Exit wife. Scene 4 Breakfast room. Euter he band. Wife Are you angry because brw fust isn't ready, love? Husbuud No. Wife Yes, you are I Husband No, I'm not Wife But here comes your train, t yon will have to almost break your etc to get it. Exit husband. Scene 6 HulL Enter wifa Wifo Goodby, deur. Husband GtKxlby. Wife Are you to very, very hungn Hnsbaud No, not very. Wife You're not in good humor. Husband Yes, I nm. , w Wife (with melting eyes) Tbe dear, will you lot uie huve$22.75 to). for my bonnet wheu it comes? ! Husband es, certainly. Take U ; foO and keep the change for pin utotA Exit husband. New xork Timet A Itemarkabla Woman, The dowager Lady Stanley of Alt ley, whose death took pluce not since, was a remarkable woman. Li great age of 87 was no hindrance t'j f extraordinary intellectual and pint) activity. She was born before the ni lee of Georgo III, wus presented at b-A to George IV, was familiar with i widow of the young pretender, und present both at the coronation und at jubilee of her majesty (jueeu Victor. More than half a century ugo Lady Su ley was ono of the original promoter! tbe Uueeu s college and oue of i members of its first council. She aii ed Miss Emily Duvies, to whom ti foundution of Girtou college wus nit: ly owing. During ber whole life she bits H working for tbe education of wonin never endeavoring to monopolize ti credit, and all this good work waif complished while tukiug a due interr iu her children, eveu to tbe second u third geuerution. Lady Stanley had: children, 7 of whom are uow Uric Recently she regretted she was uotk yean younger, to explore some of tr newly Investigated regions of centr Asia, and it is reluted that on one olir last visita to the premier, Mr. 1 ttone, when he endeavored to turn t! conversation from politics by ullud:: to a recent uovel, she said : "Do not us talk of novels. Leave them for ru old age as I da " A singular remark I a lady of 87 addressing a stutesuian 85. Woman's Journal Tba Typewriter Ia India. A quaint tale of a typewriter is t by an Auglo-Iudiau who bus just cm' homa Oue of the English judges India was an expert ou the niucliii) and it occurred to him to use it for t taking of judicial notes. The uiiieb: was conveyed iuto court, wheu a cert novelty waa imparted to tbe proceedi by the click of the keys and the tim of the bell which indicated that a b bad been comph ted. The prisoner v found guilty and sentenced. Pronip" he appealed, on the irronud that inste of listening to the evidence the M' bad wbilod away bis time by plop on a musical instrument. Realm. Engllah Party Discipline. Other toie tribulations of the V member of parliament are that his opB ions are dktuted by bis leadere-t movements controlled by the whip Party discipHue is very strict nnd vio tions of it, however slight, are rav condoned. If a member is bold enouf to take an independent stand in reft" to any of the political questions of & aay, nit speech in the house explain hit position it received with scoffs it Jeert by bia colleague!, aud, whut is P1 bapa more uncomfortable, appro cneera by members on the other snlf. If be persists in tbis course, be it" garded as a crank and a faddist, aud severely "cut" by his party. As" strongly worded and heavily underscor"1 communications, demanding his imn diate attendance at Westminister, V frequently delivered to bim at the inopportune moments vrhen Le is J5 titling down to a delightful little d ner or about to leave his house f" 1 pleasant night at the Gaiety thea,tf and if, yielding to the temptation the flesh, he ignorea this penirt1? call of political duty, bis past serric re forgotten, be guts a solemn lee". frn the chief whip on tbe enorroi'T J hie offense, snd, msyhap, bis published in in offlcisl "biack 1W' defaulters or he comes across littla naraerrank ran.ln, hla necleCt r o Aa,u -r- . uuty in tbe local newspaper wbicn wtaeiy circulates amanj bis coc" t. Chambers' JoorasL