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About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 1, 1892)
$ UNCLE VANISHED. y ddt-rly gentleman, whose chief id crssies lire rooted aversion to wj, nd fervent hatred for hi heir Wiveeor, is not exactly a novel nater cither tu rettI or on the ' But there Is a material difference behavior In the two situution. for "n ll,e ,ta,, ' ,,e slmnst tnvari turned t rejMntimce by the beaux 'mi ut tne J'0""' ''"'y w,lu" hi heir II married, or by the maddening prat r'gl her tiresome child, and dies m the Joruf sanctity distributing iinliscrimi uI blti"o"' ,n M ue more often Tjii not carries bis spite with him to .k, (rave and leave bin posterity good to execrate his memory in the Lpeof an outrageously malicious will. Toby Bunskiu, of Uunskiu Hull, fjflowland. and No. IV) Urosvenor ... i .itiilon. was not at all liliu tha JUtioual old gentleman of the stage. . .1 . ... tila Iw.if f ',,. T.i..If II.... Rji DJirCll l"1 ,lm VM'l. VIM. Ullll- , ..f tin. Fiftieth Lllllcers. was tint ox. grated, and did not betray him into r. . - u ...... .i. flJOUSO eXCt wra, uui it wait oiiltL-n? lue o. perhaps, because it waa aluto- IcU'lv unreasonable. And Jack" nau long ago reconcueu nun 1 ,,. . iin-rurioua existence on his nuv. til wit and the money he could raise by Bl)rtgagiiig his reversion to certain fnm which Sir Toby had uot the tower of willing away from him. ' .. . .1,1.,.., .,1, Win Tnl.w l,,.l.,,l a) Bt-aniiy . iou. mm-iun-ii m. l. sufficiently lost to the decencies .-1.. 1 ....,.. m.t lu, l.n...n.....1 of society a to i ignore bis existence, to iasnlt him in public, or even to lie ixniit dllv rude to him in private. Jack waa ilvr'avs asked down to Unuskiu Hull for tie cover shooting, he waa expected to ..c .it the annual rent dinner of Sir yvuo. " - Toby's tenants, and at certain fixed sea- pns he waa rormaiiy invitea 10 uros rtior square. But there Sir Toby's Kccgnition of bia relative began and tniled. tie wouiu not aiiow juck a six- nur would be have lent him t'.'O to nave liim from the bunkrui)tcy court. or even from suicide. The baronet waa not very old ho was barely sixty and for bodily vigor many i man of five-and-forty might have en tied him. He rode regularly to hounds, was an exrrienced and successful deer mlker and could cast a salmon fly with the best fishermen in Scotland; and he addicted to- uone of the excesses which sometimes shorten the lives of Ben who indulge in hard exercise, for be neither ate too much nor drank too (reely. In fact, he took excellent care of kimself. and waa on very good terms nth his doctor. His friends said that be delighted in the idea of keeping Jack rat of his inheritance as long as he pos s'bly could. Now. all men have their Binall weak nesses, and one of the most pronounced J sir Tuliv's waa a niuwiou for literature iml for plays of a sensational and blood curdling description. He reveled in pen jjr dreadfuls and in soul moving melo drama: he delighted in complicated plots of missing heirs, forged wills, mysterious murders and buried treasure. There was reason to suppose that many of bis strong boies, which presumably contained title Mi ami ancient leases, were in reality Huffed with rejected manuscripts and ttillborn dramas, declined witu tiianiia. sirTnliv wan finnlv imnressed with the idea that had bis station and duties been otherwise he would have made his f.irtiinn in r detective, and nothing pleased him so much as endeavoring to discover the identity or an unuetecteu murderer or the motive for a mysterious disappearance. Whenever such an event occurred, which w:w pretty otten, tsir Toby ui-ed to indict long epistles to The Tinics. setting forth his theories. It was one day in early spring that a jreat ideaK'curred to Sir Toby Bunskiu. Be felt in a peculiarly misanthropic humor, for Jack had been staying with him, and uncle and nephew had con trived to quarrel even more seriously than usual. Moreover, there had been published certain damaging facts in con nection until one or two charitable insti tutions to which Sir Toby had intended to leave the greater part or uisrortune, mil he he?:in to think that even Jack might not put his money to a much worse use than a pack or overpaid, greeuy officials. It was in this humor that he had taken up a newspaper and studied tne strange disappearance or air. jaoei linv.ru mi eininmit Mmlford merchant and millionaire, who had vanished from mortal ken in the most unexpected man ner and without the slightest apparent reason. The amateur detective was strong in Sir Toby, as usual, and be fell to musing r tin. fnta rt Mr Rmwn. and to over solving ull manner of theories which might account for his singular absence, lie was rich, eminently respectable, and universally looked up to in the commer cial world. An examination of his afftiirs had proved beyond doubt that no finan cial embarrassment existed. Then he was a moral man. and there was no sus picion that he had eloped with somebody tlse's wife. or. indeed, that a lady was in ny way connected with the case. He as perfectly sane and in good health, tad no conceivable reason could be im ifined for suicide, "He niny have been murdered, of worse," thought Sir Toby; but this so lution seemed commonplace "there may 1 a woman in the case. Begad, I be lieve he is alive, at any rate, He may kave disappeared ont of pure caprice found his responsibilities too tronble ome; or perhaps he wanted to spite somebody." This last notion seemed to merest Sir Toby it was really original that a man should disappear for such a Motive. He pondered deeply for several minutes, and then he said to himself. Suite slowly: "He may hare bolted to spite his heir. And thenSir Toby chuckled. "A Wly idear he continued. "Uld Brown ttnsthave an heir everybody has. or evly everybody. Brown disappears delight of heir long search after Brown -body found in the Thames much de Mtuposed but easily identified as that f Brown by sen-ants in pay of heir "cir takes possession of property basa plendid time for a few weeks, when be fol 1 Brown rodivivus Brown alive and eU -promptly kicks ont the heir and declines ail responsibility for his debts, "hat a splendid situation! Wonder fctrw my dear nephew would like it? I d tiv Eve thousand pounds to see bim. And Sir Toby burst into harsh, unpleas ant laughter, and positively rolled about a his chair with ghoulish merriment. he idea pleased him so much that be at op a good two hours later than usual, ad when at last he went to bed it was ith a firm determination to carry out scheme. Cnon Si? Tpbyl preparations if i w Bece-'ara- to dwell, n- se- biniwir without swpirion 0f several thouMnd pound, in ready monev. for M .,oimi.,ioof beirrg b f, !T 1 y'm '"" might be pro U,L lie had to make,,,, his mind a, to hn n,n,,trT be should aeWt for tb V'w . Mt'lv"ntu-. '. after mtu-h deh.rat,oii he hxej nKm .Vmerica. with view of enjoying umu wild sport in th K'K-ky mountains and elsewhere. Now Sir Toby was a smart'. dapir man who dyed hm hair black and shaved clean -.is f-w so he .rgned that if b o-nght a M wig and U ard thev would efftually diuise bim until his own oeurd and mustache Imd bad time to grow. ,en this lmW.ne,l he would Mhibit hu undyed hair to the public and with a white head, a grirzlv heard and luustaehe. and a mt of siHttacles nstead of bin eyegliiss. le Mt Mire tliat he coul 1 d.-fy recognition. The mere qmxtion of getting away was simple, the main difficulty . ofcour-. U'ing bow to furnish Jack with proi.fs of his death strong enough to enable him to take pos session of bis inheritance. But Sir Toby knew that queer things could I d.mo in America, and once there he thought he could easilv arrange by brila ry that the body of some un known, traveler should be identified as that of Sir Toby Uuiifkin, Bart, Mind ful of this neceshity he armed himself with a jKK-ket book containing n-r calculated to place the identity of the person carrying them beyond reasonable doubt. He also carefully'dcHtroyed even will that he had ever made, for he wished lus nephew to inherit as much ae possible "The greater the rise," lie chuckled, "the greater tho f,,IL Up like a nx Ket, JacK, my boy, and down like a stick!" When all these preparations weromade Sir Toby quietly left his home in Fallow bind one day and did not return to it His ostensible destination was the house in (irosvenor square, but he passed the night at a hotel and started the next morning for Liverpool. In bis red wig and queerly cut clothes his own valet would not have recognized him. At Liverpool he took a steerage tmasage foi New York, for he was a man who rathe! liked "roughing it" than otherwise, and, once on the voyage, he begau to feel that half his plan win accomplished. But the question as to how he was to prove hie own deatl, bothered him considerably, The ship bad uot, however, lieen a day at sea lxlore a most remarkable and fortu nate circumstance occurred. Sir Toby was a light sleeper and wae not very mnch at home in his uncomfort able quarters, so the first night aftet leaving yneenstowu he jwced the deck for several hours. In the course of hie nocturnal ramble he kept meeting a man whom he could not help noticing from the fact that he seemed desperately anx ious to avoid his, Sir Toby's, olisen-atioiu "Some thief or forger bolting," thought Sir Toby, and he kept his eyes on the man from idle curiosity, and gradually fell to dodging nbout the deck and watched him closely. Presently tho man, when he thought himself nnobserved. did a verv strange thing: he took off hi coat and laid it carefully on the deck. Then be gla-ieed hurriedly round, mount ed tho bulwarks, and leaped into tho sea. One of theship's officers just caught sight of him as he disappeared, an nlarm was quickly raised, and the engines were re versed. No one had time to notice or to think of the coat: but Sir Toby always prided himself on his presence of mind. In stantly ho seized it. tore off his own coat, which contained tjie pocket liook and the piilers, laid it down on the deck and put on the coat leri ueuinu oy me kuiw It was a master stroke, a veritable in- spiration, and Sir Toby retired to his berth knowing that the odds were at least a hundred to one against a rescue. At lus leisure he examined the pockets of the stranger's garment; the only thing of ininortance it contained was a letter. apparently addressed to the dead man's wife. "As 1 thought." said Sir Toby to himself, when ho read it at leisure; "or dinary case of forgery, cunnot live any longer the usual bosh! I don't think Mrs. Bowston will ever get this letter." And he burned it carefully, and a night or two later took an opportunity of throwing the coat itself overboard. "Now I am really all right," he re flected. Thrre was a LTeat hue and cry in Lon i i i ..... u,urt..,l that Sir Tobv Bunskin had actually disappeared. Hall the detectives were employed to look for hi,,, advertisements were inserted by the score, even placards were posted; no exertion, in fact, and no expense were spared to discover his whereabouts. Cut n..t tl, sliL-htest result followed nntll the news arrived from America that Sir r.,i, ,,,,,1 imntied -from an Atlantic steamer and had, of course, been drowned, leaving behind him a coat, in the pocket of which was a pocketbook cards and private papers, ob viously belonging to the unfortunate baronet. It was a fine days' wonder; but as no body cared a straw about Sir Toby when alive, people soon grew tired of speculate lug as to the cause which had prompted the "rash act." And as soon as certain necessary legal formalities had been com plied with. Jack Bnnskin found himself Sir John Tobias Bunskin. Baronet, of Bnnskin Hall and Orosvenor Sqnare, and the possessor of a substantial rent roll and a goodly sum of ready money. Now "waa not very likely that Jack should feel any profound gner ror nis out. the old man's death cer tainly shocked him considerably, but the l. --j jnf his new position pieasoi" w sjKdily banished the unpleasant subject from his min 1. . . H had. too. plenty of things to look after. His creditor, of course, came i Mm in a hmiLTY horde, and the amount of post obits which he had to r,v.,ff was quite alarming. Moreover. ii. hikl no intention or leading tiie r and quiet life that had smii m He bought a yacht, started a small rac ing stud and began to dabble in cty companies, all of which things demand .-.msiderable amount of time and at- ..,-:n. not to mention money. So a ,:,U.,.f years pa-d. .I i. k in common parlance, went the to the best of his ability; got him llt el.itJ M. P. for one of the din Tions of Fallowland..nd finally became m-mgei to Mis. Hilda Grain, only daughter and beire of the late , Sjx Joshua Orains. M. P.. the weU known brewer and millionaire There was, of course, a very grand wedding and to due nair returned to Lrfrailon from a prolong honeymoon tnp on the time mntinent WbenJac uu " .mining a pile of letters ana oiner ments. he inquirea o, iu cm btnitnt d with a guilty secret. "It s my dooty to tell yon, sir," said Mr. Flagtfon mystcriouiJy. "as an old gnit 'as been calbng here every day for the last week, and says as he mut see yon." "Is that all:" queried Jack. "No. sir be says he's vour uncle." "My uncle! What d d nonsense! Why. the fellow must be a lunatic or an impostor!" "Just so. sir; but we can't iret rid of him. and 1 didn't like to give the poor old idiot in charge." 'yuite right: next time he comes I'll e bin,." Oddly enough, half an hour afterward the old gentleman returned, and Flaggon promptly mOu-red bim in. "W ell, my man." said the new baronet, 'and what can 1 do for your "Jack," said the stranger, "do you uieun to say that you don't Iniow mel 1 m your I nele Toby I am, indeed, and not a blessed soul n-eoguizes mo!" Jack stared at his seedv visitor in as tonishment. His clothes were shabby, and he wore a hang dog look: his face was disfigured in a most remarkable fashion, and the unall remnant of hair that be iMwscsscd stuck upright in a strange tuft. He did not resemble the Lite Sir Toby Bunskiu in the slightest; but the tone of bis voice was horribly lam, liar. "This is driveling nonsense!" he said: "but if you are inv uncle, how the deuce do you account for the fact that you were drowned in the Atlantic? "1 wasn't drowned; it waa anothei passenger, and Sir Toby confessed the story or the change of coats. "But what on earth have you been doing for more than two yearei "I went hunting licars and things in the Iloeky mountains," said Uncle Tobv in a sepulchral voice. "We lost our way, wandered abont for days, and were even tually captured by the Indians. Couldn't get away or eveu write. "Oh, indeed! Is that why you have tattooed your face so elegantly.' asked Jack. "I didn't tattoo myself they did it for me," wailed Sir Tobv. "Mv face is nothing to the rest of me. I've got I pine forest, a lake and a range of moun tains on my back: three rattlesnakes on each arm, my chest iscovcred with toma hawks, arrows and pipes; and there are ojHunis, terrapins and all sorts of d n beastly animals on my legs! "Dear me, uncle, what's become of your left ear?" "Well, you see. Red Blanket, the chief, you know, took a great fancy to me: but sometimes he used to get drunk and throw things about. He cut nearly the whole of my ear off with a tomahawk one dav." ' You must have had a rollicking time." "Don't laugh, you vagabond!" cried Sir Tobv, waxing wrathful "Look at my head! That was done by Blue Blazes, another chief; be tried to scalp me, and it was all that Red Blanket could do to stop him. He got about half of it off us it was. And now, Jack, when you've done grinning perhaps you'll talk business. I meant to play a joke on you, but it seems to me that I've cot the worst of it. However, we'll let bygones le bygones; I'll make you rood allowance, though 1 hear that you've married a wife with a big fort' une. Cut. of course, you know now you must clear out. "Clear out of whatr "Why. out of my property and my money." "You're welcome to the baronetcy, Uncle Toby," said Jack, thoughtfully; "but I'm afraid that I can't oblige you any further." "What the deuce do you mean, sirT "Simply that there's nothing left to clear out of! I ve spent it every blessed bob!" Sir Toby turned livid tinder his tit too marks. "You infernal young scoundrel!" he shrieked. "Are you mauT "Not a bit of it, uncle! don't get ex ciUnl. ou see, nearly all the ready you left went to jmy post obit; and then I took to racing and gambling a bit, Had most shocking luck! Lost every six Deuce, sold the house in Orosvenor square, sold Bunskiu Hall under the But tled estates act. yon know; sold every thine. If I hadn't married Hilda 1 should have Ix-en absolutely stone broke. She bought back Bunskin Hall, by spe cial leave of the trustee: but all her money is strictly tied np, and I haveu't a sixpence of my own in the world! "Is this really truer said Sir Toby, faintly. "Gospel truth. I assure you. Ask Taner and Deeds, they know all about it Never mind, nncle, you've had your fun with the Indians, you know, and F ve had mine. Won't yon have a brandy and soda or something? You look quite green. Tell you what. If you. let me keep the title. 111 pet Hilda to make you head gardener at tmnsmn tzoo a year, good house and precious mue w ao. Think it over, uncle." London irutn, Ought Napping. Persons who own impulsive tongues may often be provoked into amusing blunders whim some easily answered onestion is unexpectedly put to them. Most of ns have been victims of the old ifVe "What dav of the month is the 4th of Julvr." and. wise as we think our selves, it has doubtless caught us nap- ninif. "Jnue," said a joker to nil wife, "do you know what cod 1, ver oil is made orr "No, I n, snre I aon i, rerarneu boo, without stopping to think, "i suppose It's a patcut medicine, all advertisement and humbug." "I am going to give a fn lecture in town " said a gentleman visiting his na tive place to an old friend. "I boj Tonll come." "Delighted. Tm sure! How much are the ticketsT Youth's Companion. Whi-n th IUtr Will CU-li th. Crawar. : .1.. ,niin mii Ui r.--jr' A-nsBUiiiiiiJt lib if 60.UUU.UW, WllU luc ica iia l'" during average crops and current con sumption 15 per cent, greater per capita than in the five years ending in 1874. present supplies are in excess of popula- tion as follows: Corn lor .i,jww jwhc wheat for ll.Ooo.'fiO: tattle for 6,'KJO.OOO, and swine lor 11. OOO.noO. Should popu lation continue to increase as heretofore, and should production not increase more than now seems probable, borne require ments will alisorb all food products be fore the end of this century. C. Wood Davis in Forum. Only Om Intern ptlom. "Did ererything go off smoothly rrmr wedding. ChswU-sT mM WOTUdll-t Uow fy to go on till Td paid him GIANTS OF MODERN DAYS MEN WHO SURPASS ANCIENT HEROES IN STRENGTH. ut Ih Kaiuauns Mt Anrlrnt ana Modern Timet and tit luiuunu Wlhli Thjr Lind-A N" Vr Mae lira I Hi llrroril by I lng tlararw. Savants tell us that by distributing weights over a man s Ualy hi such a maimer that every part oi nis iriime wiu have to War its share, he can be made to raise a weight of over 5..VX) pound. The savant are right, as the jierfonn auce of W. B. Curtis, of New York, will show. IVvemlar 20. Mr. Curtis, with hanie. lifted 8.C:il ,n.l. As a horse is alsmt seven tiuiis larger than a man. it should I able to carry seven times the numlx'r of pounds lifted by Mr. Curtis, but the horse never was Itorn that could accomplish such a feat Speaking of wrestling and strong men reminds me that centime ago there was born in Crotona, Italy, a bal who in after year liecame a famous Greek athlete. At busking lxvs, bouse warm iugs and country fairs be was the high roller of all the men of muscle who gathered to show what they could do in feats of strength. He was the pi t of the young ladies, and his name was Milo. At the Olympic and Pythian games he threw all coiners in wrestling, and one day, just to show how strong he was, he carried a -ear-old heifer four times around the Olympic racecourse. At another time Milo lifted a thousand iKiutid ox. and didn't seem to exert bun self greatly in the attempt, either. His strength, however, gave bim what the modems call a swelled hiMid, and oue day while in the wotxla he noticed a tree which some wood choppers bad partly split open. A wedge held the two sides of the tree airt, and the wood choppers were gone. Milo, first to give himself an exhibition of hi own strength, in- rted bis hands In the opening and tried to rend the tree asunder. He pulled the breach a little wider, just wide enough, in fact, to let the wedge drop out, and then his strength liegnn to fail mm. Like a vice the tree closed on hi band, and he was held prisoner until nightfall, when a pack of wolves held high jinks over his bones. A roWERFVL KMl'KHOR. History also tells of another man of prodigious strength. Maximums, one of the Roman emperors. Toward the close of the Second century he first saw the light of day in Thrace, and when old enough to work was sent to the fields in charge of sheep, t roin earhewt boyhood he was celebrated among the Lids of his neighborhood for marvelous feats of strength and agility, and one day when the Emperor tieptiimna Several was passing through Thrace on his re turn from the East his attention waa at tracted by the young shepherd's fleetness of foot and other remarkable feats in athletics. The young Thracian was over eight feet in height, and was a perfect modol of physical mauhood. He was offered a place in the army of tho emperor and accepted. Although a barbarian be rose from rank to rank, and waa finally pro claimed emTor of Rome. Ue reigned for many years, hated by everybody, and was finally killed by his own soldiers. It is related that in one day Maximinus overthrew twelve of the strongest men that could be produced. On his thumb be wore hi wife's brocelet, and it took forty pounds of meat a day to appease bis apiwtite. In Iboa there lived in Kent, England, a man named Joyce, who exhibited such feats of strength that he was called the second Samson. To Joyce is due the credit of having discovered many tricks in lifting and pulling against horses. He flourished for about ten years, but when his secrets became known be dropped out of sight. THK STKONOrST MAN OK TODAY. In the early part of the Eighteenth century a German named Van Eckeberg attracted a good deal of attention. Like most strong men of the present day be took the name of Samson, His most ex traordinnry feat was the holding or a massive cannon, which he suspondod from his girdle. To accomplish this be stood on a framework over the cannon, which rested on rollers, and when all was ready the supports were knocked out from under the weight, leaving it dangling in the air. In performing this feat all depends on the natural strength of the pelvis bones, which form a double arch, capable of sustaining a great weight Probably the strongest man of today is Louis St. Cyr, tho Canadian. His feat of lifting 8,536 pounds of pig iron has never been equaled. The Iron was placed on a platform at Berthierville, Canada, Oct 1, 1888, and St. Cyr pushed it up with his back, anna and legs until the whole weight was clear of the trestle opon which it rested. St. Cyr also puts up the 245-pound dumbliell from Door to shouldut, and from shoulder to arm s length with one hand. In March, 1886, be lifted a platform npon which seven men were seated, and which also con tained a barrel of flour and seven dumb bells, the whole weighing 2,378 pounds. St Cyr is abont 26 years old, stands feet 10 1-2 inches in height and weighs 823 pounds. The best on record lift with the bands alone waa accomplished by David L. Dowd, who some years ago had charge of a gymnasium in Springfield, Mass. Dowd succeeded in raising 1,442 1-2 pounds of pig iron clear from the Spring field opera bouse stage, using no artin dal means whatever. Boston Globe. Too Clrrnmlornturj. Young Husband This bread isn't such as my mother used to make. Young Wife Now, John Husband It's better. r. . i t , . mi. i ..i rs r - ri " jt- dually hn Ifehlad. "Strange thing that dog's tail, isn't itT "What makes it strange to youT "Why, 1 never saw one before." Now York Presa. Tim to Ca. "Sir." said an annrentiot to bis master, "whan a verr clever and a very stupid per son are together in oue room, and the clever one gota away, who is there leftt" "Why. of eouPM. the stupid ona.M Then good-by, sir," said the apprentice. and weot Sonntagsblatt It is said that of the 8,000 clubs and societies In New York nearly 4,600 are distinctively German, The tendency of a German to form a society could cot be ( more forcibly illustrated than by these THE "BIDDING WEDDINQ." Bow t.f A ra Svcurrri fur Nl) Mar- r,f l I'tHipla lo farUcif Val. In certain imits of Pembroke and Car- marth. n, in Wales, one of the mutiiitot of marriage cu-ttoins used to bi preva lent, an 1 it is said still to linger to a ier taiu extent in some of the remote valleys, but now curtailed and shorn of its pris tine surrouiidina. This was known as bidding wedding" and was o redolent f patriaivhiil time th.it it may lie in- erektnig to doacnl what U d.-sttned too,, to lavoine a mere memory or the pat. Tradition is silent a to the origin of this ciixtom of Cambria, so we may preeume that it g.-s a long way back iu d.vd. In the first place, all who received in vitations were expivted to show their resjavt to the bride and bridegroom by la-stowing such present a befitted their station and means. We may remark that these weddings were generally re stricted to the farmers and other of the nwavtable class, so that to have a bid ding implied a certain social statu and that the young couple were both come or respectable families. W ben two of this class made up their minds to get married the first thing con sidered was who were to la- invited to the festivities, a list being made out, varying, according to tho miuiU r of their friend ml neighlairs, from forty or fifty np to 200. Invitations were written or printed, and sent round to all those whose pros- nee was desired. After these had la-en disimtehed tbe next thing was to send round the "bidder." there la-ing one per son who filled this important post in everv district. The duty of this worthy was to go to all places where invitations had pna-eded him. there to advocate the claims of bis clients to the tat of bis ability. Tl.e bidder, as may m supKsed, was gener ally a noted character, the local wit and orator, as no one could bo to fill the responsible position who bad not "the gift of the gab." In some instances fe males held ofuce, rr which they were doubtless as well (jualili.vl a their male rivals. Theso functionaries were gener ally cordially received and were in the habit of siavifying any lwirticular arti cles that they thought desirable, gener ally fixing their requests high, on the principle that they who ask for a sheep were likely to get a lamb at least. On completing the rounds of calls the bidder gave in his reKrt to his eniph y era. The presents were sent before the weddiug to the house of the bride, when a large company assembled to view them and discus their value. From the fact that intended presents were all entered on the bidder's laxiks there were seldom too many article of one sort, a business like proceeding by which tho fashionable world of today might save brides from having so many "reK'ats" in their mar riage presents. Chambers' Journal I'M- of Clnaa In Miwhanlra. M. do la Bastio, a French chemist, hn. during the past few years, conducted a aeries of experiments which have result ed in a method of rendering glass suffi ciently tough for use in molding many articles hitherto made of iron. It is pro mised that the huge sub-Atlautio pneu matic tube for the connection of the Old with the New World, the suggestion of which was received with indifference and incredulity some time ago, may eventually turn out to 1m not so chimeri cal as at first glance it was judged to be. A glass car fitted into A tulie of the same material would spin away at an In credibly fast rato. No appreciable beat would be generated, and the great hard- . . . . . j. i mva and smoollinesa or mo maicmu would greatly lessen the retarding Influ ence of friction, which will be one of the most important considerations in nil sys tems of future rapid transit In the con struction of piers, bridg(s, and, In short everything meant to withstand the de structive influences of water, glass would be of immense value, as it is insensible to the action of oxygen, while its great hardness insures it against tho frictionnl wear to which stone piers are particularly liable. New York Telegram. rinlahcd Ilia glory lllniHiir. "Deiw Is right," said Senator Watson C. Squires, of Washington. "North Caro lina has a corner on i iiioiiinro. ip around Aalieville the air is loaded with balsamic elements, almost a sHH-lf1o fur lung trouble. 1 went there twouty years tgo far gone with consumption. I bad been given np by the d.ictor aa a hnjieleaa ease. In leas than three months I" You were a well manr" No. Idled and was burled on the spot" Washington I'oaL The Barrel, I am going to write a poem," said Willie Wlahlngton. "You don't know how." "Y-a-a-a; I've just found the secret" "What Is It?" "First, you've got to make folks think that you don't know what you are talking about, and then that maybe you do and they don't" Washington I'oau H lllllif to Walt. "Yon seem to think that because I am rich there Is no need ot your working, said a congressman to bisson. "You should profit by the motto, 'learn to lauor anu vo ..it "I have tried It. father: and I've conclud ed that I'd rather do leas laboring and more waiting, if It's Jut the same to you." Washington I'oat A Hard Mania Aoyway Mr niohaoD-Didn't 1 bear you calling one of your little playmates hard names just now, Johnny! Johnny imnipscy iwno is iwn- a muuh. aa bis fatherh-l'erhaiis you did, pa Idou't i how 1 cou d very well help It. Ills name kt Peter Stona-Burlington Free Trees. Meteorological. Tha waather seems to be In the agri cultural implement and ordnance carting business." "Why du you think so!" "BM-atta it bad no sooner ceased raining pitchfork than It began to blow grea guua" Boston Courier. Aa Estanatrw AaqaalalMM. -Ufa A lC Farawall. Paulina Don't BO. KngUlald. Heginald-I mut. love; It Is after 10. PauUn Indeed it isn't; It's only half after. And fUglnaW. a9u nsultu us watch, obaarved that I said jus UiJ0- Barar's a star . Hawpax'l MARGUERITE 13 WASHING DISH 3. Fin. s B i f wsiar, crr, Sduw wtiita di.lK.-lo. Ut lying saw luatiiy maim. K fur jrai koua Baii.utl inaka lbs tr -m tMU to. back an., furtli Ilia am. I baiula To aiul fro Ilia lr iuwl unl. bw llml una. iVlrnnlunl air, Mnn iiiainl o ( fair; hii all -hit alia lll llifc. With ibal til-Mi aiiiilialle puUth, III an J out lh a jl.T alh- Uari;irH I aJiiiif Jiili" Nivm a! in rltw Mlkd, liuatiiif i-ap o rr hair ul f.ild. llniau ') full f tfraia InU-ot, (in Ilia oM 11up rhiiia la-nt. Now tlic gUwi aii-t uUt-ntara, br bow aav,l iximl.iiml with rare W orkath niarvrU: han.U ao fair. Maka u. h )a ly laka a iliura, lari;H'rit'''a a Ihitwln-k, Irwuura, I think, tail uar n.-t ur IL li-lil aril talk kiia to Ah. klarifiienle la aafihltitf ulfchia Hha t-an iaiiit ami i-ha ran line, hhi- can i-lajr iihi aiiylhuif . Anil hr il'iea iiiiu-h faut'r titt-hlnjri ltut to nir ahe'a tiuMl lM-ait,-huiff Whrn I Ruil h'-r allli a tra loan!, Iiokiiiit Krar aa any iiii;htii Kiail.in.'d at thr kilebrn Uhla, Ami Ui aaU-h b-r I am ahla Kvrry ntovrim-nt full of craiA Ktrr aarflrr irrowa hrr fara; If (hacouk, h.it know nir atahtw tlarxurritr a aaahnt tliahra. Homa day ua ahall ha inr With ma uliarr all Jojra of Ufa, ho lha kind falra har ilrerml, 8o am she and I acrm-d. If yon aak her how I won har, lloa that proinw an-ati-d fruni hrr, Vi lu-n It aa li i'iaara to laaaa nia, K.Hiiid II In hi-r In-art to ili-aaa uia, And cimju-nu-d U l uilna, Hha will aay llh ryaa thai Mna, Ami a anillr that's moat .Irla-a-iia a Taan whi-n I aaa waahlnf dulira " - Klllir M. I rlabra In Yankee tllada WOMEN'S RESTAURANTS IN LONDON. low Ttiry A ra Condoi-lnl and by Whom Thry A ra I'atronlird. It was one of the i Im-hI of woman phl liiaophi'ni who wild ilml until her sex renjMsl to lai anlisllisl with a dirt of tea and buns coniplele equality helMi-rn the seira was iniHiasilile. It would apa-ar that thia sort of diet still aiitlslhsl the conservative lam don woman, to judge from the loyally wllh which they cling to the Idea t lint the pas try cxika and the confectioner are Hi pMs-r and grtitivl place for a woman to get her lunch. Not long ago, however, the "anti-man" party of advanced women rnised the cry that the one thing needful to the pence and praierily of the laiii.lon woman was a restaurant devoted solely to b.-r ti e, and accordingly "The iHirotlij" waa established In Oxford alreet, and an other in Mortimer street was started by Mr. I'taiper Oakley, the fashionable mil liner known a "Mine, laala-1." The great point nbout I lira restaurants la that they serve in a dainty and rellned maimer an i-ightia-nny inldilsy ilinnrr of liirnl and two vegetable 'n't tu the hour of 1 2 and 3, the chorim - and excellence of which ant npprveialed only by thoae who have tried In cheap eating houses to see what they could procure for that amount liefore and after these hours there I a low scale of i-hnrge for ordinary refreshment or sfu-rii.Nio lea, and the restaurants are favorite meeting place for women coming f mm opiswlte suburbs to gather and chat over a cup of tea before going home from the day's shopping. Two other large rea tauranla are iniiiirtgiil by meu for the uso of women, and Into their beautiful dining rooms men rarely niter, and those who do are the gi-utleat of their sex and always un der the protection of lady frlendik Womeu who do not really know where to go for something to eat Instinctively drift into one of the deait of the Aerated Urrad company, where they are sure of llntllng a cup of delicious toa freshly mads for each customer. Another reHtaunint well patronised by women Is that attached to the National School of Cookery In lluek Ingham Palace road, In the vicinity of the V letoria street shots, so much patronised by women. There one find" always an excellent meal daintily served at a very low price. The food la prepared by the cliuwea In cooking, to which the restaurant Is a valuable ad junct In thus diminishing the working ex penses of the Institution. A libelous fern- itiine writer ha liiltmatcd that women avoided any place where they were waited on by IIiom) of their own sex, for there Is no restaurant more popular with women than the Court' restaurant, where "neat banded Phyllis" in white apron, sleeve and cap and a black gown dispenses Uie viands with dainty grace. In despite of the great cry raised by the woman's restau rant founders of the scarcity of restaurants where womeu may buy a lunrh when un attended, It would be an esaler task to name the reatauranta to whirl, a woman cannot go unattended than those in which she will receive every courtesy ami always find a room set apart for her une. New York Sun, liar Tallin; Menage. Recently a woman entered a suburban telegraph office and said to th receiver of mraaagua that she desired to telegraph ber buabaud who was In tha country for money. He pointed her to the counter supplied with blanks and told her th rate for a doaen word. She struggled sway for a quarter of an hour and then banded In the following: "Won't you please send me five pounds liv next noatf" "I don't know whether that will do or not." as she felt for ber money. "If yon were to receive such a telegram from your wife would you forward the money!" "Wall-well. I mliiht." be replied la doubtful tones. "Now. you wait I don't like the tele gram at all, because I tried to keep It within twelve words. I'll write another." She tore It up, walked over to th count er and In three minute handed In a new one reading: "Am out of food and fuel and want five pounds aa soon as yon can get It bere. If you can't spare it I'll pawn the parlor i-nrjiet." "That would bring the money from me," said the receiver, a he read the Unas and marked the number of words. "Then It will from bim. Send It quick." -Loudon Tlt-Uits. A Hanay Stabbed Doesn't It seem Impossible to bore a needle through a penny, particularly If the former . very finer Yet this Is a simple task and 1 , accomplished In the following manuen The needle Is panned through a cork, witb the point protruding just a bit, which Is then nltiued off with a pair or pi near. 1 us punny to then laid upon two little block of oft wood with a small space between. The cork 1 planed on top of the penny and bam niered hard with a small tack hammer, A, thrroora prrtls tie nv! ia irora spnuing sidewsysthe Utter cannot fail to pierce tbe penny, or any other coin of the same thick new, tbe atari of which the needle is made being harder than the metal of which tb CjIu I composed. St Loul Post-Dispatch. Tha ryllndrofra.h. The cyliudrograth is an instrument of French invention for taking panoramic photographs in connection with military surveying and the lik.i It 1 very sin, pie in construction. A semi-circular cyl inder having a small k-ns in the renter moves on an axi. and il m provided with a dark slide of some material which will bend without breaking. When a view 1. V. i.l.n ha lna ia ffnnvml from one gjja 0f the landscape to the other. Ba i UB H Ul ..... I pidity of execntion rather than artistic eff(jrt u 0Wect aimed at ChrUUaa , u Work. " " GASTRONOMY IN NEW YORK. TSe Various Gneiii of an Esat Sid Raa laurant and lluw Tlioy Are Treatad. fcllilet (waiter at tbe Morning Glory res N.urnnl, at ll;i'i a. m., pushing bis bead through I be kitchen slot till his shoulders nrher-Fired up fer'm. Nate! The Cook erp. Slldera- Ketch tier onl right off der bat l'dy. Der Jit) Is goiu' t' fly good. The Cak tuaulng a "on out") Paste m In, Mlwy. riliilrrateuterliigthe fray )- What's your's, Clothing Snleainnn (w ho lunches uptown on Sundays) You niny bring me a cbicken pate and gin of milk. Sliilera Ain't got singer left Bona Salesman Make It fried bacon, then. Sliders (fog hornlligr-ilollercost rooter, an' drive tier cowl What you gnln' ter crawl over, Jersey! Mr. IVehrcy (down from Weau-heater to pay the inten-al ou hia watch ticket) 1 want a dish of trliaii' onion. Slider. tcnlltnplngl-Yard f towellln', will friiiigiannysl liot it Nate! The Cook Yeep. Slider llo newslaiyr-Kecp out'rd' gang way, an' yer won't git knocked down. Ih-re, tlon't crm-k yer tear jar. I didu'l hurt er. (i'lnng over in der corner, au' lick lint 'lanae oil tier tableclot'. Uh, jotl don't git no 'tentlou, Mr Vsndybilt! V hatcher want! bslger (fnuii Xejientlie hotel, next door,) -Corn la-f hah, an' cup 'r coffee quick, Uk! Sliders - Shut upl (Again exploding.) Cattle train stimuli up, an' kill a Narnbl 1'nrty's goin' ter die, so nex' week 'II do W lint's yours! Colored ( liHtomrr (who hn drifted over frem the Weal Sldu I.lver V nigs, fr'en' Slider Set der guinea on a fried pin cushlonl Messenger Hoy What '11 five cent buy! Sllilrn xt down ter Corona 'f yer kit der right party. M.-aaetiger Hoy AO glllli, , now. Olinme t'ree rakra nu' a glaaa of water. Sliders-Drop der buckahott Here yer bath. Hurry up ilem ttinit. Daisy (this to the dial, wnaher at the rear), (iood morning, sir. (Turning a little ale.) IIoie didn't give no fence after dnt dnuce laa night (Take th helmet and club and hntigs them up.) The IMllcer ou tli llent-.o; only don t boiler when I dust tb' club with yer, th' next time. It's liable to keep folks aw rake. want roast beef with SiwnUh onions. mashed xitntoea, gtveu corn, celery, VI runs rolls and a cup of coffee. Sliders Knock der steer! Slid der (correcting himself wllh a gulp and a start) chef, serve out ronat laef w III, Spanish In Julia, maahed pertatlea, green goo com, salary, Yleno rells an' coffee. Dlllcer Slut tery'srnme. ((iolngtothe renrnnd push ing his head and shoulders through the slot.) Nate, I ain't a Wbyo If I did 'n come nigh insultlug bis breast plateal J. S. Q. In Puck. rhllanthmple llrggara. "Say, mister, give mo some money to bny some supis-r with. I haven't had a bite to eat today. Can't you help me alongr It was a street beggar accosting a sor rowful looking young man on one of the principal thoroughfares of the city. The young mau stopd. "There's a nickel," said bo. "It's the last 1 have, but take It 1 shall soon las where they don't need money. I am tired of this life, so take it and g.Msl luck to you." "Are you so much In need as that partner?" asked the beggar. "Yea, I have been looking for work for two weeks, but it's no nse, and my money's all gone." For a while the beggar hesitated, then he pulled out a dollar. "Here," said he, "take this. You're worse off than I am." "No," answered the young man firmly. "It won't do me any gtssl good-by," and be walked rapidly down the street A policeinnt, overheard the remark and he followed and overtook tbe stranger. "Look hero," said be, "are yon the fellow that's alxitit to commit suicidor A hearty laugh interrupted further questions. "Tbat a all right, officer," said the would-be suicide. "I am just trying little game on these street beggars, and that's the third one to-night who haa offered me money. Kansas City Globe. Health of Miliars. it is tne impression among some who have never investigated the subject that the occupation of coal mining is un healthy, and it will surprise the majority to learn that now the ventilation of tbe collieries haa been ao much improved that the coal miner ranks among the healthiest of workingmen. Aa rule miners are nnderslsed. This is due to their occupation, a are also their well devel oped trunks and arms. The most fre quent functional derangements among them are dyspeisla and headache, the miner's back is a well known com plaint in districts where small seams are worked, and It il a very troublesome one to colliery doctors. A few years ago tbe mining classes usod to suffer largely, far in excess of the rest of the population, from lung diseases. There waa a fonn of miners' phthisis, known aa anthrocosia, where. on post mortem examination, the lung was found to be perfectly black, u tbe lung waa squeezed there exuded a dirty black, ink like fluid, caused by the pres ence of large qiumtltiee of nnburnt car bon. But all this ia, to a very great ex tent, a thing of the past A caae of well marked anthrocosia is now a very rare thing, owing to the improved ventilation of the mines. New York Commercial Advertiser. Highest of America Peaka, "The highest mountain In America" must now be changed from Mount St Elias to Mount W range), a little to the north of tbe former peak. Several of these mountain have been newly meaa nred, Monnt Hood, once "roughly" es timated at 13,000 feet, then "closely" at 1(1,000, waa brought down by triangula tion to 13,000, An aneroid barometer made it 13,000 and a mercurial barometer tuade it 11,3. Mount St Ellas, esti mated by D'Kgelot at 13.673 feet, waa triangulated by Mr. Baker at 13,500. It now appears that Mount Wrangel rise 18,400 feet above Copper river, which ia in iuru S,0!)0 feet ftbov tha aaaj level that point If this holda good, Mount Wrangel Is a good 3,000 foet higher than any other peak in North America, and has the distinction of being within tb United Stat-.-s besides. St Louis Re poblie. Teat r OrlU President Insurance Company Want to be appointed a life Insurance agent h! What experienrt have you had! Applicant Nona I will be frank with you, sir. I wish to marry old Moneybags' daughter, and I want to be able to say that I ara in biuim-a for mysrir. beer President I see. Now I'll be frank with you. Go to old Moneybag, tell him yon haven't a cent, and don't expect any, yet you want to tnarry hi daughter. Of course) ha ll refuse and kirk yon out But if you keep at bim and atkk to it until he dually consent I'll aspoint you supariiiUndaoi,