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About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (Sept. 17, 1892)
EUGENE CITY GUARD. L U VAMtBKLL. rrrlier, EUGENE CITY. OREGON. - Thing Iteat l.mU I'mluua.' Do not write on ruled paper, or oil (hul docoraUJ Willi printed sunflower or bio oiusof any klnd.i,, r; ' -,' Do not Introduce your girl friend u the gentleman -visitor. Instead say. "Miss Brown, will you allow me to pre sent Mr. Jonesr Do not talk especially to one pei-sos when you have three or four visitors. Instead make the con vernation general. Do not attempt to tuke care of a nian'i overcoat he has a vote and ought to U able to look after his own clothes. Do not ask people who they are id mourning for. If you don't know, wail until you find out, and in the meantime; don't ask after the members of their family. Do not giggle when a smile would answer, and don't talk in a jesting way about things that are holy to other peo ple. Do not laugh at anybody's form of worship respect a toad praying to a luushroom. Do not suy the rules of etiquette ar nonsense they are made up for youi i comfort and mine, and urrunged so tliul the feelings of every human being art considered. ,' i. . Do pot get into the habit of laughing at elderly people. It is not only unlady- like, but it is vulgar. Do not think it clever to flud out by pumping, the private affairs of youi friend. There is no reaitou why you should lay bare her heart for an iiiquisl tive daw to peck at. Do not get into debt, but if you have been guilty, deny yourself everything possible that you may be free once more, Do not believe that all these don'ts are not spoken to you in the kindest manner as from girl to girl, but one ho to suITei and make mistakes nuo's self to find out into just what pitfulls one is apt to turn' ble, Ladles' Home JoumuL Th Itotort I'll fort mmUi. A certain Shakespearean club In one ot the most fashionable suburbs was enter tained successively by the various mem ber. It finally became the duty of a popular young bachelor to assume the position of host. Wishing to make the evening a pleasant reminiscence to all present the gentleman had Itosalio Music ball, in which lie proponed entertaining, decorated in a charming manner. lis also had a delicious luncheon served by a proficient cuterer, and the appoint ments were elegant in every particular. So thoroughly enjoyable was the evening that every one felt like expressing their thanks to the young host, and in various pretty speeches did the ladies signify their appreciation of his efforts. Surrounded by a bevy of his fair guests, the face of the young man was the picture of delight, when another young lady joined the circlo and offered thanks where thanks were due. Her manner of expressing herself, however, caused the light to die out of the young gentleman s face, and a baby stare su perseded it It might le remarked here that the young mini had ottered his 1mm! to a Rosalie Court belle the preceding month and been refuted. And the lady, entirely uiicniixrious of tho affair, said "Oh, Mr. Blunk. I reully must compll ment you on the charming manner in which you have entertained us this even ing. Everything has been perfectly lovely; we have noticed the absence of nothing that would have added to the evening's enjoyment, unless, perhaps, a hostess, and (in a piquant mntiner) we are sure that is something you really couldn t procure, rituburg Dispatch. Hu Walton Grow Rich. I am informed that Mrs. Ladenburg Intends to distinguish herself by siluntly effecting a relief from an evil that has gradually grown Into monstrous propor tions In society. 1 The growing extortion of waiters at our fashionuble entertainments is a mat ter that has lately assumed such a guise that if Mrs. Laden burg has really taken up the cause of her friends against the In position of the waiters, she will be huilod as a crusader of not less courage, than Coeur de Lion. At present it Is Impossible to got served at a ball without paying a week's wages to the gurcon. At Sherry s, as at Uvl monico's, you are at the mercy of the .austere yet perspiring fraternity, who only seo a hungry guest through the flbered density of a greenback. Alacrity in service Is graduated according to the size of the fee. At the last Patriarchs' I gave my waiter a dollar and made shift with cold victuals, while on one side of me was a guest who for a five dollar tip fared sumptuously, while on the other was a brave but mistaken gentleman, who ig nored the waiter's avaricious palm, and was Ignored by that functionary in re turn. New York Truth. Costly China tVara. One of the wealthiest women In At lanta, Ga., has at least 13,000 worth of glass and china. There are six small cups and saucers which cost alone the sum of $100, and her Bohemian wlue glasses in rose and blue, scattered over with tiny arabesque figure and richly finished with gold, all cost from f5 to $10 apiece. Among her daintiest treasures are some finger bowls of white Itohemian glass, shaped like yellow prlmruw-s, won derfully thin and ornamented with very delicate arabesque cold figures. The water pitchers which harmonise with these are tall and slender, graduating from the base to the mouth and orna mented in the same gold designs. At lanta Constitution. Making Fuats. The secret Is out Indiana poet are not bora but made, says The Chicago Inter-Ocean. The teacher in the Indian apolis high school has Issued an order that every pupil must write poetry and hand in poems on certaiu prescribed days. There Is no evasion of the order. The muse must be raptured and brought into the school room. It seems that Mine Anderson, the teacher who issued the order, has been in the high school for over twenty years, and that the majority of the "Indiana poets" are her graduate. Rapid Transit, ' "I hare been on this road twenty years, and know what I am talking about," said tu conductor to a passenger who com plained of the slow time. ' "Twenty yart" gasped th passenger. "Waal station did yea get onatf ' Journal of Education. j HE'S NOT IN SOCIETY. t Astor Wha DMtn'l Tiger fork Arlttocracy. That all the tWendaDts of the original John Jacob Astor are fairly well to do it taken for granted by the world, but there is a much crcaterdlvcrgenc between the lines thr.n Is generally tupposcd. Even la New Vork city there are Astor unknown to fame, and up in Colum bia county lives n who is In th Very center line of descent, grandson of old John Jacob, brother of the lata John Jaeob and HESnr ASTOB. present William, and son of tho famous William Ii. Alitor, ills name Is Henry and bis history is queer, as well as himself. When any New Yorker, familiar with the dairlingsocletyeareerof Mrs. William Astor, the late escapade of her daughter, Airs. Coleman Drayton, and the promi nence of William Waldorf Astor, asks about the collateral branch hogets answers very much mixed. There is a vague 1m pression that "the other son of William IS. Astor is off somewhere being taken ears of." Sometimes one is told outright that he is demented and that the Astor car for bim bountifully, as they do for all the aflllcted of their kith and kin. But in Co lumbia county, and especially around As- torvill and on the Copake fiats, a sug gestion of that sort would be apt to start a' light. Henry Astor I there and very much at lilierty, and. moreover, he Is the bountiful patron of all that region and the guardian angel, as It were, of the biggest family in it, namely, the Dineharts. And it was his marriage into that family that severed his relations with the other Aston, lie lives In a big and odd looking house In the town of Astorvllle, the house and all Its annexes being painted yellow, with Ills-nil splashes of red and block, the "toot ongsomble," as tluysayln Paris, being quite startling to ore who see it for the first time. "II was always queer," say his old com panions, but at sixty he Is a very tine and intelligent looking man. His conversation Is pleasant, and that and his manner alike Indicate at least average Intelligence, if not more. Hut he dm a few queer things. For Instance, he sells a horse or cow or anything else he Is tired of for whatever any neijjhlior offers for it, he it five dollars or fifty, lie also pnys the taxes of those neighbors who get behind, loans them money at whatever interest they think they can afford to pay, rent farms out on similar terms and gives to all churches and charities whatever is asked. It goes without saying that be is popular on Copake flats. When be was a lad hi father sent him up to live with Mr. John Ashe, who occu pied one of the Astor farms. He com menced holding religious services for the hired help, and when they did not get religion to suit him he discharged all of them, but hired them again the next day at advanced wages. Finally he married MIssMelvina Dim-hart, sister of Mrs. Ashe, and all his relatives were furious about it. Hi grandfather, however, had left him some real estate, which rapidly increased In value and he was Independent. Melvina Diuchart was a rustic beauty, but her father was a common laborer and bad probably the largest family of children In the county. They are nil rich now. William, oldest of many brothers, managed Mr. Astor's business for some years, and now owns lure large rnrms ana much other property. Dclbert Dlnuluirt was Mr. Astor s next agent, and he Is now very rich. The princlMil paid them handsome salaries and a good per cent, on the collection of his rents. He also took. Ills wire's parents to his bouse, where thry lived in great com fort till a few years ago. Mrs. Melvina Astor is now a well pre served matron of fifty years, ami having had no children ha taken an active part lu managing her husband's affairs. She holds In her own name the deeds of several fin farms. In fact, there is. a saying In Copake that Mr. Astor "married the whole Uiuehart family, but be might have done worse." Although his father left him no property In fee, he provided a very band some annuity for him, and present Indica tions are that ha will live many yearn to enjoy it. Such Is the real condition and such are the surroundings of that Astor who has completely dropped out of the family life and concerning whom the city tradltiou is that he is "away off somewhere and being taken care of." An Unusual Decree. The government of Costa Itlca intends to keep all it aecie within the borders of the country, If there Is any virtue In law down there. A decre lias just Is-eii issued under the provisions of which the exporta tion of Costa Kieati coins and bullion Is forbidden In that republic tor the period of six months. On any attempt to violate this provision the silver coins will Iw seiied by th customs authorities. If the expor tation Is accomplished, In spit of the pro visions of this decree, the exporter will be fined to Mi value of the exported silver, This prohibition will remain In fore until th 15th of September next; but th execu tive haa been given authority to extend th period six months longer, and he may also suspend th operation of the decree at any time, if In his Judgment the reasons which determined its enactment have erased to exist. Th preamble of the de cree acknowledges that the step taken Is extraordinary and liable to numerous ob jections, but It alleges in Justification the exceptional situation in which the country now finds itself, the gold coins having al most absolutely disappeared and the silver coins being only found in small quantities, scarcely sufficient to meet the necessities of th retail t rallio. Russia's New Nary. Csar Alexander does not Intend that Russia shall b left behlud In the mad rush of nations for naval supremacy. His naval estimates for ISlt! amount to K.NKi.'iM rubles, or S.lsJI.lWI rubles more than last ' year, which sum Is to be spent upon the building of new ships. Ily order of the 1 caar a large Ironclad cruiser ot the same type as the Iturick, or lo.lttt tons and I5.0H0 horse power. Is to I put upon the stocks I at St, Petersburg this spring, in addition to three Ironclads of 1 1.000 tons and several Ironclad coast vessels of from 4,000 to 5,000 tons. am Mussels Ar Toltunuus. Poisoning by mussels has been frcmicnt ly alleged and as often denied, but it Is nevertheless a well known fact. Such poi soning appears in chronic form inTe.ra del Kuegti, mussels being sbundant on the shores and other kinds of food rare, so that th natives eat large quantities of the former dally, both of bad and of good qusl- ity. A tlorrtf)lng tHsrurary, Little Girl Oh, mamma, youi! hare to sond dut now bijrsoofj. She awful wicked I Mamma Horrors I What doe) she dot Little Girl-She tolls us Bible torios on week day a. Good News, A Effaced Personality. "Was your name ever in printt" "No, I've ben an editorial writer on one of the big New York dailies fur fort years." Kate Field's Wash Ok JSi THE TRUTH. friend, tbouga thy soul eoould burn that, yet b ft HI; Thoughts wtr not lent fur suit, sor Ungual forewords. B that seas clear Is gentlest of bis word, And that's not truth that hatb the heart to kin, Tb whol worlds (bought shall not on truth fulfil Dull la our age, and passionate la youth ; No mind of man hath found tb perfect truth; Kor sbalt thou And It; therefor, friend, be sUiL Watch and be still, nor bearken to the fool, Tb babbler of consistency and rule; Wisest Is be who, never quite secure, Changes bis tbouKhta for better ilajr by day; To-morrow some new light will thine, bo sure, Am tbou shall sea tby thought another way. Archibald lanipnian In Philadelphia Ledger. LOVE'S QUEER WAYS. Tb Central park was at Its freshest that evening, so were we. She was 17 and I was 21. We were en gaged to each other, and bad gone to ths paradise of lovers to "spoon," just a scores of other lovers had, even In those days when the park was a new place and the trees so thin that the lovers were easily recognized by friends, who enjoyed making fun of them afterward. I do not intend to tell you just who we were. If I cull ber Agnes and myself Ar thur you will know as much about us as you need to know. Our fathers were both men of wealth, with the Van prefix to thdr names, and bad business relations with each other; though as I had been sent away to college, and Agnes was not "out" yet, we bad not met since we were babies. However, one day my father bad called me into his oflice and said to me: Arthur, Van 0 had a talk with me today. He Is anxious that you should see his only daughter, Agues. She is very pretty, accomplished, add all that, and though of course nothing will lie done to influence either of you I should like It,1 too. All I ask is that you should make her acquaintance, and if you like her and she likes you I sh-ill be pleased. If you don't, why, it cannot be helped." "Of course I shall not, and of course she will detest me," I answered. "But Intro duce me." He did three days afterward and I fell in love at first sight. Agnes was the loveliest creature I ever saw. I think so still, and my father was as pleased as man could be to bear m say so. My father was an amiable as well as a sensible man, and we all adored him. Van G , on the contrary, was a per fect demon in temper, though a very brill iant man in his own line, tbe money mak ing one. Ilia children trembled when they heard him coming; folk said that he bad killed his wife with uuklndness, and everyone in his employ bated him. But Agne smiled and spoke like an angel. She seemed to have the disposition ot one. and being a golden haired girl who dressed in white whenever it was admissi ble, ber whole appearance carried out the Idea. As for me, I have a photograph taken at that date, which represent a very good looking young man. I had perfect health, good spirits, nothing to worry about and a fortune ready made for nie. I was a gen eral favorite in society, and felt, when 1 thought the matter over, that I was not an objectionable parti. Shortly I proposed to Agnes and she replied: "Ask papa." I asked him; be accepted me. "Iu fact," ho said, grnsplnir me br she hand, "I am delighted to think of you as a future son-in-law. I've always dreaded my girl's throwing herself away on some no body of a drummer or something. Now you ar your father's son, of course, and all that, you know, and the sooner it comes olf the better." I bad expected to be well received, but it was delightful all the same. The wt-dding day was set, everybody on both sides whs delighted, and I the happiest fellow in the world. My betrothed, it is true, was very coy, and would scarcely permit a kiss: still, when sho was my wife I felt that I should be all the happier. I cannot tell you how fond I was of her or how proud I was of her. I thought my self tho happiest creature alive that even ing as we turned into tbe paths of the park and took our way to the ramble. Then, as today, It was patronized by lovers of the humbler classes, but Agnes was very fond of walking there. Indeed it was she who bad proposed going there that ovening. I remember just where we sat down on one of tbe benches near the lake. A little way from us sat another couple who were affec tionate enough to excite my envy, though the girl wore a long shaieless linen ulster and a hat with a blue veil tied about It. There was uo one ehe in sight, and the moonlight was so bright that we could see a long distance. A certain chill had come into the air, ..Llt. I 1 .! . . . 1 i . wuiuu uwi uriveu mosioi me nappy couples borne, and I had asked Agnes it It was un pleasant, and she had replied that it was delicious, and I was not yet old enough to feel anxious about the changes of the weather. Csunlly w went home earlier. but it was so delightful to me to sit there alone with her that I was careful to make no remark about the time Suddenly Ag nee said to me: "Arthur, I suppose you will think me very silly, but I can't help fancying that some one Is hiding lieyond that large oak tree yonder. I feel nervous about It. Every now and then a face peeps from behind the bus lies, ' "A facer" said I. "Yes," said she, clinging to my arm "and it frightens me." "There Is no one there." said L "It is all imagination." "I can't help feeling as If It waa some one who Intended us barm," Agnea said tremulously. "I see what you mean," mid I. "It is a bunch of yellow leaves on a bush beyond the oak, which the wind now and then blows into sight." She gar a curious little laugh. "You may be right," Agnes said. "It Is, perhaps, all my own nervousness, but there it Is again. A man's head, I am sure," "Oh, I'll convince you that it is not," I said. "I'll pick the bunch of leaves." "1)0," pleaded Agnea. "I shall hare no peace until I see them." "Cotne," I said, offering her my arm. "Oh, no, Arthur," she answered, "let me stay here. I would no more dare to walk up to that oak tree than to face a loaded cannon." This was so unlike her that I felt sur prised, but of course her word was law to me, I kissed her baud and hurried away toward the old oak. The presence of the man and woman on the next seat was protection enough for the very few min ute necessary for my task, and as I weut I took my knli from my pocket. At the oak I turned my head and waved my hand, and then went on toward the bush. At this moment I tost sight of Ag ne. I stood with my back toward th tieuch tor a tune, sufficient to cut a ay a bunch of the yellow leaves, aud toclos my knife and put it in ray pocket. The bench on which Agnea had been seated wa not fully In light until I had passed the old oakt then I saw it plainly. The moon had just risen. A flood ot sil ver light swept serous th spot. Th bench wa empty! My first idea wu that Agnes had hidden herself behind some bushes, but when I looked alut m and (till saw no sign of ber I fancied that she Intended a practical joke, and seated myself on the bench. Ahr" I cried, "that was your plan, was Itf 1 know exactly where you are. Come ami u. V, m...1, k..xl her and sre th man's head." Jtwr waa no answer. 1 began to search about, Orst playfully and tben anxiously. It wa not long before th matter ceased to be a Joke. The loving couple were still seated on the neighboring bench absorbed Id each otber. "I beg pardon, sir," I said, addressing tbe man. "The young lady who was with me have you seen herf I left her alone for a moment while I examined something that alarmed ber, and I find ber gone." "No one has passed us here," said ths yonng man rising. "Jane, did you notice any oner" The girl In tbe uliter and blue veil shook ber head. "No," said tbe young man; "permit me to help you look for the lady." We searched the spot anxiously for half an hour, my heart beating like a drum with terror. Then he said: "You had better notify the park police, sir, unless you feel sure that the lady wasn't Just a little huffy, and bnsn't gons home by herself to vex yon. That's like women folk." ne was very civil, but he was evidently acommonishsortof a person. For a girl of Miss G 's position and manners to show "vexation" by going home alone after dark in a "huff" was impossible, but I took the suggestion. As we parted he promised to remain where he was for while, and if Agnes should return to see her safely out of tbe park on ber way homeward. Having sent a messenger to Mr. Van G I remained with those who searched the park, and shortly we were Joined by the father of Agnes, who, according to hit iXTrZTyZXlZ ThU' daughter, even for a moment, alone. I could not blame him I was full of self re nroach. Hut It was many days before 1 accepted tbe terrible truth that 1 should never see Agnes again Everything was done that it was possible ' for energy or money to do, but we never found a trace of ber. Gradually I came to the conclusion that she bad been dered, and that her body had been so well concealed that it could never be found. Mr. Van G believed as I did. "The only obedient child I ever had," hi said; "the others are without a sense ot filial duty. I meant to leave her every thing." As for me, I felt the blow terribly and became a moody and unhappy man.. I forsook society, lived the life of a hermit, and being rich had nothing to force me to a healthy occupation. Occasionally I went to Mr. Van G 's. He had driven all bit other daughters from bim by his brutality: but together we often shed a tear for out poor lost Agnes. When I was 40 years of age the old man died. I attended his funeral and was, per haps, tbe only one that felt real sorrow, and that was chiefly because we had shared the same trial. The readingof the will came at the nsual time, and to that I was summoned. I ar rived early. In tbe library, where the will was to be read, sat only a middle aged woman, rather shabbily attired, but bear ing a certain family likeness to the Van G s which mode me fancy that she wat a poor cousin, whose futile hopes ot legacy bad brought ber thither. As I sat quietly by tbe window I saw bet look at me. Suddenly she arose and cam to me. "You don't remember me, Arthurf" she said. I made no answer. As she spoke the most startling Ideas entered my mind- ideas that were madness. She saw It in my toco what they were, and answered them. "I am Agnes," she said "Mrs. Jessup now. I suppose you think I'm dreadful. How you did fly about looking for me. Dear dear! And poor pa. How be swore, but it was all because be was so ferocious. Ha beat sister Ann for engaging herself tc Mr. Smith, and he turned Selina away from the door in a storm for liking poor young llrown. I was afraid of bim. So when he told me Mr. Jessup must not call I said, les, sir.' And when he said must lie engaged to you I said yes, too, but I liked William Jessup, and I never in tended to marry you. That young man on the next bench was William Jessup, and when we sat down bis little brother wore the ulster and blue veil, but as soon as you were out of sight be slipped out of them and I put them on and sat there all the while. After you went we walked away. "I thought I should die, it was so funny. Of course I knew pa never would forgive me if he knew he wasn t that kind. But now I may get something. William said I'd better come and see. "We've had hard luck. I shall be aw fully glad it I can take borne a few dol lars." I listened quietly. Agnes was yet al most pretty, but she had lost all her dis tinction, bad caught vulgar ways of speech and a common Intonation doubtless from Mr. Jessup. She wore 111 fitting false teeth and a false front of curls that did not match ber hair. My beautiful memory of my betrothed tuded as I gazed at the real product of years of common association, and the first thought that I found myself able to formulate was what a fool I have made of myself. "Can't believe your senses, can youf" said she, "Oh, yes," said I; "it was a surprise at first, but I quite realise the facts ot th case, I think that the will which leaves everything to a charity has a codicil, which leaves it all to you if you should prove to be living. " 'I know she is dead,' your father said, 'but that is my way of showing my appre ciation of my only obedient child.' " "Poor pa," said Mrs. Jessup. Here the entrance ot other persons Interrupted our conversation. I was right about the will, which ths other relatives endeavored to dispute in vain. I received a diamond riug as a memento of Mr. Van U and our "com mon grief," and wear It to this day. And to-morrow I am to be married to a very charming lady, my only regret being that I have wasted so many years in mourning for a young lady who played me such au exceedingly shalJiy trick. Buffalo News. A Nlea Distinction. A St. Ixiuis lawyer in a recent Interview very interestingly explained the difference between burglary and housebreaking. Ac cording to this St, Ixmis limb of the law: "Burglary cannot be committed in the daytime. The English rule is that if there Is light enough to see the face of the in truder there is no burglary. This, how ever, does not include moonlight, for a housebreaker entering after nightfall, however brightly the moon is shining, Is legally a burglar, that Is, if it is reasona bly cerUin that he haa entered with the latent to commit felony, for while a tramp breaking into a house to sleep may be a housebreaker, he is not in the proper sense of the word a burglar. Burglary, however, may consist in breaking out aa well as breaking in, for one who hides in a house before nightfall to steal and after stealing breaks out to get away, is just aa much a burglar as be who to effect his purpose breaks in." Th Holy City. Jerusalem seems to be going ahead in spite of the opposition of the Turkish gov ernment to the settlement of Jew In that city. According to a writer in The Jewish Intelligence, there has been more pngrf In Palestine during the oast twentv veai-s than there had been during the previous uve centuries. Tb Warld'a Largest Cnlrmltjr. No one ever think or speaks of Effrnt in connection with educational matters, and y, t It la a fact that the largest uuiveraity it.. . t . ,, , . A . "... in the world la in Cairo. U has about 11,000 students. A Hottoa Woman's Club. A eewsnaper women's club has been formed in Boston under tbe nuui of "Boston Women's Press Club." to dis tinguish it from the .New England Wom an's Press association, with which it in no wuy conflict iu fact the new club is made up principally of the members of the N. E. W. P. A., who find the lat ter too large an association and with Ua widely diversified interests to give attention to the details of newspaper work or techtiVal journalistic work. The officers of the new club are appoint ed from month to month, and instead of being styled president, secretary, etc., after the ordinary approved club style, they take the names and offices of edito riul officers. For the month of March, for instance. Mrs. Evelyn fJreenleuf Sutherland (Dor othy Lindt) was city editor; Miss Bolls Grant Armstrong, religious editor; Mrs. Elizabeth Merritt (iosse, sporting editor; Miss Helen M. Winslow, finnncial and ruilrood editor: Miss KutherineS. Parka, fashion editor; Miss Alice Stone Black well, literary editor, etc. Each person is to bring in to the regu lar meeting either a story or some help ful hint or Impelling in her particular field, and the little infonnul dinner ovef which the discussion goes on is a very pleasant episode in the life of these busy and bright workers. Membership in the Boston Women's Press club is confined to workers on the duily and weekly Boa ton pajicrs. and is effected ouly by invi tation. Boston Letter. Th OOle Hoy's Exeat. There is an office boy who caused a great deal of trouble for the correspond ing secretary of a woman's club. The lady felt sure she should make some mistakes at first in the performance ot the duties of her new position, but was totally unprepared for the avalanche of criticism, remonstrances and fault find ing which overwhelmed her after the first meeting for which she sent out the call. Hardly anybody, it seemed, had re ceived a notification, and tweuty-five oi thirty of the 150 members had not even heard there was to be a meeting. The corresponding secretary interviewed her husband's office boy, to whom had been given the list of members, the circulars and other requisite stationery, with or ders to address the envelopes and mail them as promptly as possible. "Did yon fold the circulurs and put thein in the envelope?" "Yes'm." "And direct the envelopes and stamp them and mail them?" "Yes'm. " "Did you do it promptly?" "Yes'm." "Then how do you suppose so many of the ladies failed to receive their cir cnlurs?' "Oh, the envelopes didn't hold out to go around," replied the boy innocently. Boston Herald. An Extraordinary Duel. One of the most renmrkuble duels evet fought, perhaps, took place in 1803 be tween two Frenchmen. Of course the quarrel arose about a lady a certain Mile. Tirevet who, it appears, was un able to decide on which of the two she preferred. She finally found a way oul of the difficulty by promising to marry whichever of them worsted tho other. They thought over the mutter in a calm and judicial spirit for a month, and at the end decided to fight a duel in the air. Accordingly two balloons were made exactly alike, aud upon the ap pointed day each soared aloft, accom punied by his second. They were each armed with a blun derbuss, the agrecmeut being that they were to fire, not at each other, but at the balloons. They arose to the height of half a mile, and then the preconcert ed signal was given. One fired and missed; the other followed suit with more disastrous effect. De hit his op ponent s balloon, which instantly col lapsed, with the result that theoccu pants of the car were dashed to tbe earth with frightful rapidity and in stantly killed. St. Louis Republic. Th Elephant Among tb Egyptlana. The Carthaginians appear to have tamed the African elephant a feat now regarded as impossible. On the other haud, Thothmes HI encountered a herd of 120 elephants in Mesopotamia, and shows an elephant as part of his Asiatic spoils. Possibly the Assyrians may oven at that early period have obtained ele phants from India. The Persians used them at Arbela, and the Greeks brought them to Palestine, as Pyrrhus (unless in deed his elephants were African) did to Italy. But the range, of the Asiatic elephant may have been wider in early times than it now is, for it survived with the rhi noceros in Honan down to 600 B. C. The elephant is correctly represented on the black obelisk of Slmlmanezer II (860-635 B. C.) with the rhinoceros; and other Bactrian and Indian animals, notably monkeys, occur on Assyrian bas-reliefs. Scottish Review. Two Expressions of Peel's. Was there ever a more mordant and sardonic stroke of description than that O'Conuell gave of Peel's bloodlessness? "His smile was like the silver plate on a coffin." Less scathing, but less witty also, was his description of a lady of a similar repellant temperament: "She bad all the characteristics ol a poker, except its occasional warmth." San Francisco Argonaut Orange Growing. The Oviedo (Fla.) Chronicle says: The orange business of the present winter has demonstrated one thing clearly, and that is that Tangerine and Mandarin orangei no longer command the price of former seasons, and that they are not even sell ing as well as ordinary oranges, consid ering the expense in gathering and put ting them up. Growers should note the fact that it will not be profitable to plant any more of these varieties. The de mand for them is limited, and is now easily supplied. Th Wedding Finger. How many women who fondly lovi the golden symbol of their wedding row know why they wear it on the third finger of the left hand? That particnlai digit was chosen because it was believed by the Egyptians to be connected by slender nerve with the heart itself. And these ancient worshipers of Isis held this finger sacred to Apollo and the sun, and therefore gold was the metal chosen for the ring. Detroit Free Press. Or Conraa. She Why do poor men always keep lots of dogsr He To keep th wolf from th door. Jfcusey'l Weekly. THE CORRECT VERSION. Tb Story of th "wathaarU" a ToU by Lalar Day Novelist. So this wind tb thing up. doe It, Mia Pan key t" "It does, Mr. Swackbammer." "And you haven't any explanation U giver" "What explanation do you wantf I bavl told you I wished to break off the engage fuent because it baa become lrkomto me I -.n't that noiigb?" ' The young man uncrossed his legs, gol lip, and reached for hi bat I "Seems strange," ha said, as a yearnjnp look iHine into bis eyes, "that the engage iueiil didn't become Irksome to you until tlie-oystcr season was over." I Miss Pankeydid not deign any reph suit Algernon Swackbammer, with a lov kw, turned upon bis beel and walked otr. When the door bad closed upon bis ri renting form the young woman sank norv (usly Into a chair. "The stupid wretch, sbeexclalmed. "M night to have had more seuse than to tak. ue at my word!" Suddeuly she stooped to the floor, plcKc bo a small ivory tablet that bad droppe from Algeruou's pocket, pressed it passion Ely to her hps, bowed ber bead upon be inds and sobbed aloud. Years had passed. The afternoon u' aa gilding the pretentious spires an cupolas of an ambitious western town, an tbe soft weird music of the fish peddler' horn was beard In the street, when a mhi die aged man with a valise in his bam opened the gate in front of a modest bu: neat and well built cottage, walked brisk ly up the steps and knocked at tbe door. A lady answered tb knock a lady well Draterved but no longer young. Tbe stranger bared his bead. His hair waa beginning to turn gray, but time bad evidently dealt with him leniently, and care bad left no deep trace on bis orow He spoke: i "Is the gentleman of the house am I dreaming? lsn't tbis Cassimere Pankey Or rather"-nd he smiled "isn't this the lady who waa once Miss Cassimere Pan keyf" i "I am Mis Pankey," she answered, "and you are Algernon Swackhammer. Irecog bized you as soon as I saw you. Won't you come in?" i "Well, well." said the middle aged trav- tier, as he sat in an easy chair in the front larlorafew moments later and looked with merest at the face of the lady. "Who Would have thought of meeting you here? And you tell me you are still Miss Pankey F Isn't this your homer" "It is my brother's. He la a widower. I keep bouse for him." "And you have never married?" "No." "How have you prospered?" "I I bave no reason for complaint And you?" "I have had a great many hard knocks, CoKsimcre Miss Pankey since we met last By the way, we parted rather un ceremoniously, didn't we?" The lady sighed. "And I bave always felt that I owed you an apology," he continued, "for not scud Ing your photograph back after you bad returned mine; but the fact is," he went on, awkwardly, "I er couldn't find It It got lost somehow." Miss Pankey sighed again. "That remiuds me," pursued Mr. Swack hammer, "that I lost a little book slate the last evening 1 was at your bouse, I must have dropped it out of my pocket in some way. It wasn't of any particular value, aud I don't know when I have thought of it before, but the recollection of it hap pened to occur to me Just now. It was a little black book slate, with" "I think it was an Ivory tablet" "No. I am quite positive it was a little black book slate." "I am sure it was a white tablet" Going to the mantel she opened a plush lined jewel casket and took out a little Ivory tablet "Here it is," she said. "And you bave kept it all these years!" exclaimed Mr. Swackhammer. "Yes." "I see I was mistaken. But to change tbe subject Do you consider yourself aw fixed in life? Have you no no plans tor the for the future?" "Why. I" She paused, and her visitor proceeded: "In a sense, 1 suppose, you are a fixture here? Your brother's children are to some extent dependent upon you?" "Of course, hut" "Then permit me, Miss Pankey, for the take of old times," said Mr. Swackham mer, rapidly, aa he opened his valise and took out a numlier of documents, "to call your attention to the fact that life is un certain, disease and death stalk abroad in tbe land, fatal accidents may happen at any time, and it is the part of wisdom to provide against contingencies by securing those who are or may be depeialent upon us against want Iu tbe policies of tbe Limpinlazarua Life lusurauco company, which I represent, and for which I have traveled for the last seven years, yon will find the most perfect system, the surest guarantee, tbe most absolute security of fered by any company in the field, and either on the ten year, the endowment, or tbe. life plan, as you may prefer, you will find the premiums smaller m proportion to the gilt edged character of the insurance afforded than iu any that has ever come under your notice, while the non-torfeita-ble feature of the policies, peculiar to our company alone, together wHh the dividends that accrue after the third year, thus steadily decreasing the annual premiums, while at the same time" "Was this your object in calling, Al Mr. Swackhammer?" "It was, Miss Pankey. I've just begun to work this town." Opening tbe little ivory tablet he began Jotting figures down in it with great rapidity. "Now, here you will see," he said, "that on tbe ten year plan let me see, what is your age, please?" "You will please excuse me, sir. I have some bread in the oven that I must go and look at, and 1 don't need auy life insur ance. Neither does my brother. I wish yon success, Mr. Swackbammer. Good afternoon." Miss Cassimere Pankey sat in pensive silence a minute or two after ber caller had departed, then picked up the little ivory tablet, put it back into the plush covered jewel case, took them both out to .he kitchen, tossed them into the stove, and went about her work with a firm and decided expression on her face. Three weeks afterward she married a bald bended dentist ST years old, who hvl been making love to her unsuccessfully for about eight years. Chicago Tribune. An Incompetent Valet Miss Highnpp So yon bars dis- charged your valet? Mr. De Chappie Ya-as. Sunday the dnU fellaw couldn't think np any new excuse foh my staying away from church. New York Weekly. Recognition. Mand There is so much individuality in Henderson's pictures you feel that he puts himself into his work. Elise Yes, indeed; just look at the air of consciousness that calf possesses. Harper's Bazar. The black licorice stick in th Am stores comes mostly from Spain, and is made of pure juice mixed with a little starch, which prevents it from melting ' in warm weather. The word licorice means "sweet root," and la of Greek or igin. - - AU aorta of faopla Walonmj , Mont Carle Raton. Everybody has beard of the qUw, , , principality of Monaco, of Its famou.t of Monte Carlo and IU casino, tin j of all tb gamblers of Europe. I!f out th brief period when It was meruJI11' th French republic of 1710, Monaonii of the oldest principalities Iu thw u but It I now on th. land tidebouS everywhere by French territory. taT all restraints are practically wity!. gambling goes on with more mai-nlHc1 Since 18r tbe entire revenn. j .. nrlnMrtfaltt V fit rivuri Kiit- miles and bas but 0,000 Inhabitant)"!!!? siats of the rent of the casino. Fromo early morning when professional cmKi crowd the hall till late at night whet? rash is locked in Iroolmitml -I,... ' . ----- vuctlL (r- tlnuous change goes on among the tues, but in the last few hours titled lad: and noblemen, famous actresses and d? criminals and statesmen, Innocent lookhi girls and grluled harridans jostle sji other around the tables. At one tablt Z, tug the vacation season sits a famountMv, and at an adjacent one a French duchl and of her an anecdote is told which Ulot trates tbe nature ot tbe place. She complained to one of the offlclii. that she and her friends received courtesy, and as he only smiled, she an ed her foot and said, "Sir, I amiqtf essl" "Madam!" was the calm reply, ., the ladies who visit here are duchesaeo Brawls and "money snatching," as It u called-that is. taking another's winninn are frequent, and but a few weeks iin an English lady in silks and diamoodi alantuul tannf-linl SaVtin n 'a fi - i locked up for the ulgbt, but did not gin btitfir raw uaium. There is a saying there that "all wom are gamblers at heart," and really ttw, seems to be something in It, for the fund nation of the Casino overcomes thousand, who would never be suspected at honn, English visitors often complain that tbey are Jostled at tbe tables by their own nerr ants, and by men and women whose char acter is painfully evident in their hen, but the bland officials only smile. "All who have money are tree to risk It bert," is their motto. In truth the Casino is tb, most democratic place in Europe. TO SUCCEED PROFESSOR FRE&Man. Bow Oxford Haa Reversed the Verdlrt or nearly Hair a Century Ago. Time works wonders. In 1848 Jama Anthony Fronde's "Nemesis of Faith" ap peared and created a decided sensation, ai it marked tbe defection of that gentleman from the teachings or the Church of Eug. JAMES AXTIIOKT FKOl'DE. From bis latest photograph.) land. The "Nemesis of Faith" was in tin nature of a protest against t he revtrenca of the Established church for wbst .Mr. Froude designated the "Hebrew Mytholo gy," and it received severe condemnation from the authorities of the University of Oxford. In fact, so great was tbe atom which Fronde's book brought down upon bim that be deemed it prudent to rtii:n bis fellowship, and be was also obliiiKlto forfeit a teacbersbiu in Tasmania. .Now, after the lapse of more than forty years, In has been appointed to the chair of modem history at Oxford, made vacant by the recent death of the distinguished historian, Professor Edward A. r reeman. Many persons will remember the visit ol Mr. Froude to America iu the autumn of 1872. His lectures on the relations betwetn England and Ireland delivered during that trip excited considerable discussion, the greater part of it of an exceedingly acri monious nature. His argument was, In substance, that tbe Irish people were them selves responsible for their country's pros- trut on becAuse of local Quarrels, mr. Froude was once for a very short time th editor of Eraser's Magazine, and he b been a nroliflo writer for half a century. One of his most important literary work Is "Thomas Carlyle: A History of the First Pnrtv Years nf His Life." Mr. Froude was born in Dartington, Dev onshire, England. April 23. 1818. His fa ther waa archdeacon of Totnes. In 12 M carried off the chancellor's prize at 0i ford. This was the first indication of the brilliant work of which he has since proved himself capable. Courage and Faint Heartnlnett. 1 once saw a woman faint in a car riage when her coachman was driving past a steam drill and the horses wheeled swiftly as if they would over turn the carriage. That woman on I yacht, when a squall struck it and when every man on board thought his ! hour had coine, did not even cry out, be cause her husband had said in her ear, "Don't be afraid; there is no danger." Interview in New York Tribune. Tha Indian la Waiting. The East Indian waits patiently: hell weary of the old theories and old prom ises; he looks out with sad and quiet eyes; he could rise to worship andtosct There is Bre behind the quiet gaze, m he seems to ask, "Tell me of an object worthy of admiration." In reply the government often offers "shows; the missionaries always offer Christ N1" teenth Century. I'nprofltabta Game. City Sportsman Any game here? Jerseynian Plenty o' snipe. "Snipel It doesn't pay to bunt them Too small." "Too small ter cookr . "Too small to hit. "-New Tort Weekly "Jemimv's Pnlnit."an immense bowl der near the village of Noank. Oona. long known as the -N.sink rocking stone." has worn away its base and ct i . no longer oe tuoveu. I fKinb rnn find that DeOple WhO honestly mean to be true really contrv dict themselves much more rarely tb those who try to be consistent-Holm Every baby is the sweetest babyin the world. Yon were once considered to sweetest thing in the world, altbouD yon may not look it now. It is just as well to make the beet J everything when you can't belp it yon can try to give a little assistance Bnt "