f
THE DISPATCH BEARER.
The iud shone so fiercely hot on the 17th
j August, 1ST-, thnt tbe leave of the
folded themselves la bumble protest
nd the. birds crept pantingly under the
-hade of tbe brushwood wblch lined the
wok of Otter creek In their eudeavor to
Twen themselves from the fiery orb. But
L bent seemingly had no effect upon a
mlo who stood upon au overturned wagop
"-Itl, formed part of some breastwork
that bad been uprrared upon a knoll about
iTa hundred yards from the creek. He
,mhnding bin eye with hi bund aibe
looked earnestly along trail wblch run
Vsy totbe southeast.
"No signs of lh xI et," he tnut
tered, o he nibbed "'a weary eyes; "ood
travel)! anotherday like this and then"
Bang! r.!p! rang out the report of a rille,
Bd a bullet uuneu uku in mo wagon Ihi.
-A nii" i KK1 a mile, my benu-
tjrt"aid the aoldler, for uch bia dress
bowed hlra to be, "though," be added
lftcr a moraenfa consideration, "I'd prefer
tlie mile!"
Int.intly from tho hllU thnt lay about I
v,tf a mile to westward of the creek cam i
the report of many rifles, and a shower of
bullets whistled unpleasantly close to the
foolhardy aoldler, who now, yielding to
the eutreatlea of his comrades, slowly de
fended from the breastwork and entered
the corral. Inside the corral a harrow
ing nin' met nl yM- In a nit
behind the hastilv thrown up parapet
lay a number of wounded men vain
ly calling for "water, water," the mur
muring of which they could almost
hear as they lay there, aufferlng from
the agony of thirst augmented by
the pain ' tbcIr wounds. Their faces
were pale and wan, their lipa were cracked
and dry, and a the sweltering aim lient
upon their dying forms they moved their
heaila uneasily from aide to side, moaning
feebly, "water, water!" It was truly a
heartronding scene.
So thought old Jones, the soldier who
had just descended from the lookout; for
striding over to where the commanding
officer stood he requested Col. Mack to al
low hi in to go to the creek and obtain some
water for the wounded.
'l)o you know that yon will almost cer
tainly sacrifice your life in so doing?" said
the colonel, for the approach to the creek
was swept by the enemy's fire.
"Why, sir, 1 allow thnt thar la a risk;
but. sir, they're sufferin' awful," Jones re
turned, jerking bia thumb over his shoul
der to indicate what he meant by "they,"
"Well, then, since you will go, my brave
fellow, may God protect you!" the stern
old soldier returned, his gray eyes suf
fused with tears as he witnessed this touch
ing trait of true heroism In the private.
Catching up a couple of buckets Jonea
clambered over the breastwork and walked
toward the creek as cool and self possessed
is if he were crossing a parade ground. As
the enemy's bullets plowed up the ground
iu front and rear of him the hearts of his
comrades stood still. They held their
breath and grasped more tightly their car
bines as they watched the progress of this
daring soldier who was willing to lay down
his life if by so doing a few wounded com
rades might lie benefited. Reaching the
creek be filled his buckets and returned.
When aliout half way to the camp he
stopped and rested himself, calmly direct
ing his guze toward the enemy's lines, who,
seemingly astonished by his coolness, with
held their fire and allowed him to pass un
molested. So the day wore on. Twice the Indians
bail striven to carry the camp and twice
had they lieen repulsed. Hut Col. Mack
knew full well that he could not possibly
hold out another day; his garrison was be
coming weaker, his ammunition and ra
tions were running low, and the Indians,
having received a re-enforcement, were be
coming Iwlder. The latter, ulso, tuking
advnutage of the many washouts which
lay between the hills and tbe camp, had
approached to within 400 yiirds and were
subjecting it to a most galling fire, some
of the bullets even finding their way into
the pit where lay the wounded.
"Some one must go and find the gen
eral," he muttered. "Aud yet I do not
rare to detail a man upon this dangerous
sen-ice. I'll ask for A volunteer, and then
it will be hard to decide among so gallant
acominuud," and a smile of pride curled
up the cornersof his mouth, for the 'colonel
thought justly, perhaps that no body of
men could equal bis. So resolving, he
walked over to where the men were receiv
ing thci rations of one cracker and a small
slice of raw bacon.
"My lads," began tbe colonel, In his usual
quiet tone, "it is necessary that I should
tell you tbe state of affairs. Our rations
and ammunition cannot lost ua another
twenty-four hours. If relief does not come
before 0 o'clock to-night it will be impera
tive for some one to break through tbe
enemy's lines and try to reach the general,
who I believe Is encamped somewhere on
Cache creek. Now, I want a volunteer.
Who'll gof" and aa he finished, for an in
stant a stillness fell upon the men, but was
almost Immediately broken by a shrill,
boyish voice, followed by tbe deep boss of
old Jack Jones.
"I'll go, colonel," they chorused. Here,
again, the owner of the falsetto voice spoke
up: "Let me go, colonel; Jonea has a fam
ily; I hain't," be concluded, as he rose to
his feet and revealed tbe lithe, slender
form of Willie Scott, the trumpeter, and
life of troop.
"But, sir," broke in Jones, "he is only a
boy. Let me go, colonel. "
"But, sir," again Interrupted the boy.
with what he thought an all convincing
argument, "I spoke first."
The colonel gazed at the two a little, the
one a gray haired, bronzed faced old vet
eran, the other with his blue eyes wild with
excitement aud an eager expression on bis
(ace thnt seemed to say, "I'll get there,
never fear." So it was that the colonel
decided upon the latter.
"Come to me at half past 8. boy," be said,
snd turning to old Jones he whispered,
"Your chance may come yet, my brave fel
low." "I hope so." replied the old soldier, and,
walking away from the spot. Jones threw
himself down by an upturned wagon utter
ly inconsolable.
.
It was a dark, hot, oppressive night Not
a star could be seen; the black, heavy
clouds stretched themselves like a pa" weJ
the camp as the trumpeter, leading bis
borse, passed through an opening in tbe
breastwork and set out PD hi fnl0UI
ride.
"Mind and write to my mother, Tele, It
I don't get through," be whispered to bis
comrade as he passed out.
"Never fear. Bunkle. but"- and here
hi comrade's voice grew lime huy
for God's sake, get through."
"I'll try." was the response, " they
squeezed each other's band and part";
Soon tbe watchers in tbe camp lost slgnt
of tbe boy. Tbe sound of bis horse s boors
grew fainter and fainter, and then diw
away, but still tbey leaned over M
bre; at work, atralnlng their eyes In tne
darkness as they tried to catch a glimpse
of their young hero.
Nearer and nearer the trumpeter ap
proached the Indian sentinel. Sometimes
L would stop, listening intently, then
move on. only to stop again nd press His
hand over bis horse's mouth when he lan
Cied he heard noise. Suddenly a con
fmd babel broke out upon bis rlgbt ana a
lorid glare shot skyward. L br"
of hill scarcely a mile away be saw tM
Indian band dancing and yelling around s
fire like a horde of demons. Creeping
further away into the gloom he mormurea
s be mounted. "O.God! give me time.
Then be rode forward.
On the top of tbe bill wblch be was now
ascending aa fedian sentinel eroucneO
1 u 0 l-,ht w d-rk that hi
eouhl not make out .he rider until the Ut,
l "1,nost P"D blm. when qulckh
fl.?g '"."J"? b' U'UwU 'oo
that sounded clear across tbe plain, send
below"""17 'Df ilt ltnTU ,n troln
With a fierce exclamation the trumpet,,
drove hi. spurs into hi. horse's flank, aud
dUcharBluu bis revolver at the Indian rod.
madly forward. IWng hi. knee, well
uto his horse . ,i,les, with hi. rein, flr.nl,
held in baud, he dashed down the hill
closely pursued i,y th, Indians, who. upon
the report of the firearm, had Instantl
Hung themselves upon their ponies and
started in the chase.
Now began this race for life. Never wai
steeplechase harder ridden. Away the?
flew over hill and through divide, tbeii
horses snorting t.nd panting with the vio
lenceof the exercise; over the rocky bedt
of dried up rivulets, through clump, ol
scrub oak, the young trumpeter now pull
lug up so abruptly as almost to unseat
himself as In the durkness he nearly dashed
agamst a tree; then leaping over the fallen
timber that lay ncross his puth aud splut
tering through tbe mudholes In wblch hit
horse sank to the girth. Still be pressed
on, while the enemy came thundering in
the rear, making the night resound with
their war whoops and dropping an occa
sional shot whenever they thought It would
ten,
A stern chase is proverbially a long '
ml it ti.lmiK a.1 t. I. ...mi i.i i . V
uur.nim uuuouoteiiy it would have prove.
so in this case had not the boy's borse in
crossing a piece of rough ground stum
bled. He would have fallen bad not h(
been Instantly checked up. By this acci
dent the Indians were enabled to gain soml
distance, when they opened fire with s
surer aim.
Bang! bang! and the bullets whistled
uncomfortably close to our young hero'i
ear.
Spurring his animal he sought to get out
of rnnge, and nobly did his fuithful friend
respond. Bang! burnt! tbe guns rang out
again, and the boy felt a slinging sensa
tion In bis left shoulder, his bridle arm
falling useless by his side. The agony ol
the wound was intense, the motion of thi
borse rendering it more so, hut still be re
tained his seat, knowing that upon hil
ability to get through rested the salvation
of a hundred lives. Bearing now a little
to the southeast he struck tbe trail and fu
riously dashed aloug It. The sound of hU
pursuers grew fainter, then censed, but li
did not seem to hear, for t strange dizzi
uess came over him, and ha swayed in hil
saddle like a drunken man. Clutching at
the pommel he murmured as he thought
the night grew darker, "Oh, God, let nil
live an hour, only an hour!"
So the night sped on. Sometimes th
horse would rulansc into a tn.t mul ntmn !
resume his swinging lope.
"Oh! that morning would come; thai
night would fold up its funeral garment
and the glad sunshine smile upon the
earth once more!"
How cold the night seemed to the bo,
hero as he half fuintingsat iu the saddle
with bis bead upon his breast aud tin
wnrm blood trickling from bis wouud.
Would Cache never appear?
But, just as the rosy fingers of the morn
crept up from tbe east, he saw with hit
dying eyes the long black shadow of the
timlier that studded the banks of the
creek, and as his weary comrade uttered a
joyful neigh, a bugle call rang out upon
tbe morning air, the sound of which
brightened up the boy's face, while his
horse shook its bead, neighed again anil
galloped on.
The sound of the horse's hoofs brought a
number of men outside their tents, who,
seeing the pale, deathlike face of the dis
patch hearer and the limp arm banning by
his side, knew Instinctively what was the
matter.
The latter, seeing the men around biin,
drew out his blood soaked dispatch and
hoarsely whispering: "Tho general dis
patchquick!" would have fallen from hit
horse had not a trooper rushed forward
and catching him in his arms lifted him
tenderly to the ground.
With the break of day tbe Indians, ut
tering their wild war whoops, had charged
upon the camp. Bravely had they been
repulsed, only to come on again and again
until their superior numbers should tell
upon the white men. Now they were upon
the ramparts and the defenders, almost all
of whom were grievously wounded, but
who seemingly felt not their wounds in
the presence of the enemy, heroically dis
puted every step. At last, just as a por
tion of the breastwork had fallen in and ;
the Indians sprung like punthcrsat their
prey, on the little square of white men j
who had hastily collected around their
wnmided. resolvitiK to die as men with
their faces to the foe, a ringing cheer was
heard and the relief force cume thundering
down the slope. And, as the clear, rapid
notes of the "charge" echoed across the
plain, each drop of blood in those troop
ers' veins jingled exultingly against its
neighbor as they dashed among the foe.
There was a crash cheers a volley of
musketry, and the Indians were Hying
across the prairie, pursue! by the troopers
whose carmined saliers were busy convert
ing, as an officer of the regular army once
said, bad Indians iuto good ones by giving
them the route to. the happy buntiug
grounds.
The fight was over and a portion of Col.
Mack's command was saved.
That night In a hospital tent there stood
a number of soldiers around t he couch of
one on whom death had oait its shadow
There was a sorrowful look upon the faces
of the watchers as they silently awaited
the issue. At last the boy opened his eyes
and looked around; then as a smile of
pride lit up his face be murmured as bis
eyelids slowly drooped, "I g-o-t t-b-e r-e.'
The angel becokoncd and the two went
hand In hand Into the silent land.
"He's gone," they told the men who bad
gathered outside the tent awaiting the
news-gone; and theeveuing wind took up
tbe refrain and sighed it to the trees,
which shook their heads as if In doubt,
while the stars veiled their tremulous
licbt. as heaven In Its pity "Prink ed Its
tears upon thecamp.-WiHiam K. Robert
son in Kansas City Times.
Thund.torm. at Rea.
An electric storm at sen is one of the
alarming experiences to which a man
ner is exposed, but as a matter of record
it is one that is least fruitful m disas
trous results. As a rule few precau
tions are taken to guard agwnrt astroke
of lightning, especially in the Bwtairt
service. Ships of war are usually fitted
with lightning conductor, a precaution
made necessary by the explosives stored
away in their magazines. But these
safeguards are seldom seen on a mer
chant vessel, and iul,Sin the
tretne rarity of the cases where hey
have been struck. Jack's claim that he
u safer on tbe ocean than on shore dur
ing an electrical disturbance must be
"a is'aVell established theory that one
caught in a thunderstorm should not
...i.r.i.itur nn.lera tall tree, especially
if it stands in a clearing Why hghtr
ning should strike an isolated piece of
n .hore and sire it after it has
been converted into a vessel s wast is
yet to be satisfactorily explained. -ew
York Time.
It has been proved by instantaneous
i..,r.h that A.borse at fail trvt
r'k its four feet off tbe
baa
ground at once.
Thm exoerunent of making a pnlley of , cwd jn preparing confectionery wh ch Is bmT miuia tiro protests against the coo
wood pulp U being made in Maine. All ! , cneraUy .opposed to b. .tittitlonalitr tht law.-Texaa Mr
-.iv.-fairea of the wooden policy
tbe advantages v
are claimed.
A RUSTIC EPISODE.
DEACON JONES' HUSKING BEE AND
ITS NUMBER OF RED EARS.
The Scene, of Thai Night Made the Good
Old Maa Think Thai II Wu Lualng
Ul. Eynlghl-ll Take a Bright Girl
U Clrrumtent Her Tapa.
"Deacon Jones' wife called on me
to-day, Zeb," said 'Mainly, the other
evenin. "She says the Deacon hasn't
been in his usual speret ever since the
failure, as he calls it. of his huskin bee,"
nd 'Mnndy laughed right heartily over
the recollection of that notable event.
It's the custom of the farmers in our
naborhood to have a huskin bee every
fall, an thus bring the season's work to
an end with a round of iiierrymakiu
which is looked for'ard to an' talked
about by the young folks all summer
long, an many castles in the air are built
by them as they fondly think of the
uinnyopisirtniiitiesnn hoed for results.
Deacon Jones', specially, are held in
great favor by them all. owiu no doubt,
to his only child, Mollie, the prettiest
8n aociabltwt girl iu the naborhood.
n.ifr lo .1.. I.. i.:
But the good deacon made up his mind
that he wouldn't have unv mare o' the
gains an at his huskin bee that had wor
ried un scandalized him as a leadin
pillar o' the church at the lust one he
had.
One evenin Mollie overheard him
tellin her mother how be was goin care
fully through the uuhnsked com, pickin
out all the red ears till there wouldn't
be a single nubbin left o' that color.
He didn't intend to leave the least bit of
an excuse for the young fellers havin a
chanceo' kissin the girls.an specially their
Mollie, who always seemed to get more'o
her shnre. Be thought it was a sin an
a shame to allow such doin's an he'd
show the nabora a buskin bee as was a
huskin bee.
Everything would go off as orderly 's
if they were in meetin. So the deacon
went on gittin ready for tbe event, not
knowin that his daughter was aware o'
his plans. Now, Mollie had her own
ideas about a huskin bee, an they were
far different than her father's. So she
told two or three of her admirers how
her father wan plannin to spoil their
fun, un they must tell the young men to
come prepared. They told her not to
worry; they'd see that there was a plenty
o' red ears for the occasion.
The eventful evenin arrived at last,
an all the young folks in the nnborhood
were gathered iu the deacon's barn,
eagerly waitiu for the word to begin
huskin the great heaps of corn piled
uion the Boor. 'Mandy an 1 went over
to look on an enjoy the young people's
frolics, for Mollie had told 'Mandy what
was in the wind. We stood talkiu to the
deacon nn his wife, an when heat length
gave the word for them to begin work
he turned to me an says:
"Now, Zeb, you'll see what a huskin
bee should be, accordin to my idee. In
I all them piles I'll warrant they won't
I find a single red"
I Jest then the deacon was cut short by
I a shout of joy from ono of the yourg
1 chops, as he waved a big red ear over
his head un started after Mollie, who
gave a shriek un scampered across the
barn floor. After a good deal o' dodgin
. an squinnin she was cuught at last, an
I the lucky feller took his reward iu a
heurty kiss upon her rosy lips. You'd
orte ve seen the deacon s luce at mat
ininit. It was a picture of astonishment
an dismay.
"Wall, 1 swan," he stammered out, "1
don't see how I could've overlooked that
ear. Right on top too. 1 don't believe
thev'll find any more though." be
chuckled. "That's one consola"
But jest then another red ear was
found, an Mollie was soeu tryiu to dodge
another young man who was after her,
holdin aloft his Drize. She rushed be-
(,mj 'JIandy, where he caught her an
gave ner a rousin kiss right before the
ueacon-8 horrified eyes. 'Mundy an the
deacon's wife couldn t keep their faces
straight any longer, but jest set down an
laughed till the tears ran down thoir
cheeks. The deacon sat aown wuu a
groan of helploss despair an says:
"I must be loosin my eyesight, Zeb.
I'd a made a affydavy that there wasn't
a red ear in the baru, but the pesky
stalks are full of 'em.
He was right. Full of 'em they were,
for every youngster had come with his
pockets stuffed with red ears, an they do
say that the girls brought more'u one
ear amece, so s to be sure or a goou sup
ply. Leastways there was more red ears
found at the deacon's huskin bee thun
were found at all the other bees in the
naborhood lust fall, and the fun the
young folks had over 'em was a sight to
behold, wnen tne aeacon iouuu uui
how his plans bad unseamed he was
awfnl angry an vowed that he'd never
have another buskin bee, but aianay
..... i..... ; i
save sue guesses tuui wuuu mo uu
comes aronnd again Mollie an her
mnther'U be able to coaj him Into
changin his mind about it. New York
Tribune.
Swell Thieve
The other evening two dapper "dudes'
walked into the w riting room of a fash
ionable un town hotel, which it is just
now the fad to review, and looking
wearilv aronnd to see "who wasn't look
tag." they deliberately pocketed all the
stationery there was in slgnt.
Surreptitiously taking handsome pa
per embossed with the silver crest of a
famous house may not be manly, but
the paper is fine to use to impress friends
nnt of town that their relatives and ac-
nnaintnncea are mairnatos living in
welldom. There are pennies saved, too,
by stealing note paper from a swell
hotel that wight bny an extra package
of cigarettes. New York Uerald.
Gold Mar Common Tb Broase.
Herodotus tells of a king who loaded
his nrisoners with irolden chaina. that
substance being more common than
bronwj. Copper was even worn for or
nament in preference to gold. The treas
ures brought by the yueen of Sbeba to
Unlnninn'a tmrte mnt have been of
mormons value. Vabington Star.
HurcUr Proof.
An old mail is ) much afraid of
robbers that she strews p'ipT under
the bed every time fhe retire for the
night When questioned on me mio
ject, she said :
Any aramp attempting to hide
there will betray himself through
having to sneeze. A vondjioet
beautiful shade of crimson
matter, wbotm - .
tnl at a ewula stags of eooklng.
.
TRYINQ A MOTHER'S LOvL
Mr, l lanprry Wu Sur That "Th. Twi
B'im I. AUll" la tier Iftrart. '
Mr. Fknnery i a very estimable
and industrious woshorwcinun, a
widow, who kivr house, for her two
grown sous in two neat rooms in a
btweinent. One son, Peter, is a hard
working young nrnwui; tho other.
Joey, in a Jack of all trade and a
ne'er-do-weel, but is popularly aup
potted to bo his mother's favorite.
This supposition Mrs. Flunnery indig
tuuitly resents. "I wouldu't bo thut
mean," she says. "The two b'yeaii
ayquil in me heart, an ier will be."
Nevertheless, when tho probability
of wur with L'hili was being discussed
in a family where she was attending
to the Mondays wash, Mrs. rian
nery was olwerved to be listening with
a degree of attention whieh implied
some (terminal interest in the out
come; and this is her own explana
tion, iu resiKinse to a question from
tho lady of the house.
" e see. uia am. if there s war, my
Joey, he says he'll go. He come to
breukfast the ither morning, an be
tuk up the mper bud luck to it an
says he. 'Whut's tlns( says he. Ar-
rah, but I in tlnnkm Us a bit or a
war there's goin to bo!"
"Jo-ay! says 1, set tin down tho
taypot an looktn at mm. 'Jo-ay 1
says I. 'ye wouldn't bo afther laveing
your t-otor old motjier to go to uo
war w would youf says 1.
dint's what I would,' says
he. .. it's foino I'd look in a uni
form, as ye know.' An faith, nn he
would that. But I couldn't bear to
think of him goin to fight haytheus
an savages, an so I told him. with me
apron to me eye an a bit of a tinder
sniffle like, for tho b'ye has a soft
heart, an 1 thought best to begin
with him aisy.
Jo ay 1 says 1, don t yo go an
lave mo alone with nic gray hairs an
me sorrer now don't ye!'
Sure ye wouldn t be alone, moth
er,' sthruck in Peter; an 'Peter,' suys
hould yer whisht; who'satalkin
to you 1 Jo-ay I nays I.
I'll tako care of you, mother,
says Peter; 'don't you fret. An its
foine sodger. Joey 11 muke. An
maybe he'll como back an officer.
Sure, I wish it was me was goin I'
Go along wid ye, thin,, says L
It's beautiful ye'd lw Uxikin in
sthriped trousies an a Bodgor cap,
ain't it now? Jo ayt' says I, 'will ye
stay at home fer your old mother, or
will ye break her heart entirely?
"But Joey ho laughs an he laughs.
an he says bo'll go; an that's just the
bad luck o the Flanncrys. lucres
Peter as 6tendy as the Rock of Cashel,
an sate to oe misteo wun a gun u
iver a b'ye was. an it's him will stay
at home when lie might go for a
word if ho wanted. An there's Joey
has a black eye every month and al
ways in trouble, an it's him must run
loose among powder an bullets an
be kilt as a mntther, av course. Ar
rah, well. I've done my part; I ve
told 'em what I think.
Peter.' says I, 'ye're a b'ye of
judgmeu'. an u ye want to go an bo
shot ye niay go, and it's not your
mother will object, for you ve always
deserved well of her. But Joey,
says I. 'ye will Btay with me. so ye
will, me uarun, for 1 u die wiuout
ye."
An Peter an Joey tncy iook at
each other an they laugh nn they
laugh. An I says. 'Amt ye ashamed,
ye heartless b'yes, to mock me In mo
throublo?'
"An Joey, he says, 'Don't ye cry,
mother, don't ye! I'll stay-if there
aint any war I'
An I shook me nst at the luugnin
rascal, an says L 'Jo ay I' "-Youth's
Companion.
China. Importations,
The report of the maritime cus
toms of the Chinese empire for 1890
shows that the importations amount
ed to 127.093.481 tools, an increase of
M per cent over the preceding year.
The exportations, on the contrary,
have fallen from 90,947,832 taols in
1889 to 87.144.480 in 1890. This dimi
nution is due to the active competi
tion of Ceylon and India in the tea
trade. The Importation of rice was
considerable; that of opium was in
creased 1 per cent, aud of cotton 25
per cent.
The exportation or tea amounted
to 1,C65,396 piculs, as opposed to
1,877,331 in 1889, and the value of
the silk was 30,255,903 taels, against
86,401,907 taels in 1889. The entire
customs receipts for 1890 were 21,
990,226 taels. A tool is equivalent
to seventy-five cento. Philadelphia
Ledger.
kill In S.wJog Mahogany.
It has been found that mahogany
should not be sawed thinner than
twenty-six to the inch, though occa
sionally it is sawed thirty to the inch.
Tbe process of sawing twenty-six to
tbe inch is as nice a one as can well
be imagined. It is a species of sur
gery that requires a keen instru
ment, an experienced hand and an
intelligent mind. A log worth $125
in bulk may be sawed so that it shall
sell for five times that sum, or so
that it shall be worth not more than
fifty dollars. New York Sun.
rientv Haad.
"Have yon any K.. T. & OT shouted a
broker through the telephone to a rnena.
another broker.
"WhatT was the answer.
K.. T. & or
"What's tbatT
"Stock, man." naming tt in fuIL
'What do yon think it isT
"Say. b it this Is a grocery here." was
the answer.
"Oh. suzarf" cried the broker, dis
gusted at getting the wrong connection.
"Why. yea," yelled the other man.
"Lota of it What kind do yon wantT
-New York Tribune.
Th. Tas QMtloaw
Newspaper Reporter (to president of
mmnnri-Has roar company uuen
anv atens to car its taxes?
, Pr-aident-Why certainly, sir. W
POET RltEVS FIRST LECTURE,
C'ouillr4 la Prllil III. Owo Putter mo4
I.) Aunill Ihe Aud If or. t'roo.
"Junes Whitcoihb Kiley never will
forget bis first exs-rieuce as platform
lecturer," remurked an old I looser at the
' irand Facilic the other day. "It was a
good maiiy years ago. Jimmy war eking
out an existence as a pai:itor at that
time, and when limes were dull and be
was out of a job he spent his leisure mo
ments iu stringing together verses. Sum
of these were o good, in his own esti
mation at least, that he sometimes re
cited them at little gatherings about tbe
Bcighliorhood.
"But. unknown even to his friends,
the embryo et hud rather lofty aspira
tions and burned to launch out as a pub
lic entertainer So he begun quietly
casting for an eligible ppmirtuuity to
'try it on the dog.'
"Lie was ;txr then poor is no nume
for it In fart, hu was generally in
debt, and though he worked hard never
seemed to have any money or a fair pros
pect of getting any. It will readily be
secti thut it was not un easy mutter for
Kiley to realize Ins hopes under such
circumstances. At la.-t. however, he
raised a little money on a job of paint
ing and with it invaded a neighboring
hmulet. where his fume had not preceded
him.
"After considerable red tupe be se
cured the privilege of using the school
house for his entertainment. In fact,
the school hmso was the only available,
place in the village for such a gathering.
Then he hung up a lot of posters an
nouncing that James Whitcouib Kiley,
the lloosier poet, would give one of his
unique and inimitable entertainments at
the Hamtown school house on the fol
lowing Saturday night These posters
were blank paer, decorated with char
coal instead of printers' ink, aud Riley
spent one whole day in printing them.
"At the last moment, however, a per
fect deluge of cold water was thrown
over the young oot's aspirations by an
unexpected aniicnncemciit from the
ilumtowu school board. On tho after
noon of the eventful day the president
of the board waited on Kiley, who was
nervously pacing his room at the little
excuse for a hotel, and informed him
that by an agreement entered into when
the school building was erected no en
tertainments were to be given in it un
less they were of a public character.
" 'But iiiino is to be a public enter
tainment,' insisted Mr. Riley.
" 'Oh, no, it isn't,' asserted tho town
dignitary. 'You are going to charge an
admUsio.i fee. That doesn't look like a
public affair does it?
" 'It isn't a free entertainment, to be
sure: but it is certainly to be public,'
maintained the poet
" 'Not as we understand the tortn,'
aid tho ofliciul. 'Iu short, the only
way you can go on with the show is to
throw the doors ojien.'
"Here was a pretty state of affairs,
but the quest ion must lio settled at onco,
and Kiley promptly accepted the born
of the dilemma nearest him, and said
that the entertainment should be giveu
at all hazards and that no admission fee
would bo charged." Chicago Mail
Th. Monkey I'mile Tree.
At a meeting of the Royal Botanic so
ciety Dr. R. C. A. Prior presoutod ripe
seeds of Arancarin imbricuta, tbe mon
key puzzle tree of Chili, collected from
lurge tree growing in the open air at
Corshttiu, Wilts, tie mentioned thut in
England the plant, though common, sel
dom ripens its seeds. It was first intro
duced here 100 years ago by Mr. Mon
ties, a Scotch botanist, who accompa
nied Vancouver's expedition in search
of a possuge between the Atlantic and
Pucilic oceans. In returning from their
attempt they rmt in at Valparaiso and
were hospitably entertained by the vice
roy of Chili.
While dosHcrt was on the table Mon
ties nlisurved some nuts he had not seen
before. Instead of eating bis share he
saved them, and taking a box of soil
back with him on board ship succeeded
in raising live plants, which he brought
to England, and these formed a stock
from which most of the large trees now
growing In various parts of England
have originated. Philadelphia Ledger.
Dealt of Water Nocrjr to ll.alth.
As the waste in animal food in those
who lead indolent live is carried off by
the kidneys, it is very desirable that
they should be kept well flushed with
plotity of water, for pure water is to the
kidney what tresti air is to tne lungs,
and taken In the early morning, prefer
ably as hot aa It can le sipped, it washes
away the unhealthy secretions that have
accumulated in the stomach during the
nUrht and stimulates it to healthy ac
tion, aud then, passing on through the
system till it reaches the kidneys, carries
away by their aid the nrtuacm, gout poi
son and other impurities that should
have no fixed habitation iu the body at
all, aud would not have if the sufferer
were properly dieted for even two or
three weeks each year. Gentleman's
Magazine.
How th. Hoy Know.
Hero la a telephone reply which may
or may not nave pieaseo. oue oi un
sDoakers:
'Is Mr. K 111. asaou a man auer
be hail "got" tho other man ouly it was
an office boy.
"No. he isn t in. Mr. W waa ine
answer in a thin but clear voice.
"How do you know it is Mr. W T
asked the other, who may have been
nleased to think thut he had snch a good
"tfl en ione voice tuat even an omce
boy could recognize it
" 'Cause you're the one what no one
ran ever understand," came back the
prompt reply. New York Tribune.
Valuable Animals,
The hih state officials and the rich
people of Egypt have a peculiar aversion
to riding the borse, their favorit mount
being a species of white ass, which is
held as being a semisacreu animau
Fine specimens of these snow whiU
treat a res are seldom sold for what
would be bus than f 1.000 in United
States currency. St. Louis Republic.
Tho lIRrro.
There are burliers in India whose
touch is so light that they can shave
you while asleep. There are men in
this country who can skin you be
fore you find it out, while you are
wide awako. Ram 'a Horn.
Ov.nlolnc It,
rj ,rt.l.ir, tr tnvino- nrnfaatn.
tut..) -Mv antrel. I do not believe
,v, . rr Knaix.n,!
She (thoughtfully) - That'a Just
what my mother aaya.-
CARESCE3 TO 0E AV0IDE0.
A VUllnr la the I. Ion I.e. rat Bom.
Ililng. II )ld Sot Know ll.furo.
"Vis, he's a friendly old chap,''
e.iM the linn keeper. "He was born
ia captivity tit Uurnum's hfiu'.quar
t.'tN iu Pridfi'ixrt. Conn., and hoD
let eveu u stranger scrutch him be
hind the ears."
The stranger tried tho experiment
cautiously, and tho lion seemed
pleased.
"Now. he'll lick your hand fot
thanks, if you like," added the keep
er. "Don't Ui afraid ; his teeth aro
nearly all gone, anyway."
The stranger put his hand through
the Imrs nguin, and at the keeper's
word of command the well trained
lion gave it a gentle lick with hu
tongue.
"Wow! CSreat Scott!" exclaimed
tho owner of the hand, as he jerked
it out and looked nt it ruefully. If a
piece of Nindimper had been applied
to it vigorously it would have looked
and felt about tho same. "Lost his
teeth, did you sayf His tongue is
covered with them."
"Well," said the keeper, with a
good uatured grin at the success ul
his practical joko, "you're just about
right. A lion's tonguo is covered
with strong horny little hooks pap
pillie is tho scientific namo for them
and they nil K)int backward.
When he licks hard ho can scrape the
meat and cartilage ofT tho bones ol
a tough horse quicker than you could
with a sharp knife." ,
"I suppose you have to feed a lion
ns old as this one on what tho others
would regard as duinties?" said the
visitor.
"No," answered tho keeper, "us a
general thing a lion won't eat nt all
or he'll eat anything in the fresh
meat lino. Tho whole cat tritie hat
a low sense of taste. You have often
soon a cut lick herself, haven't youl
She gets hnndfuls of hair in hot
mouth without minding it at all
Consider what discomfort ono hail
produces in the mouth of a huiuun
being whose sense of taste is dull
cato."
"Tliis old fellow's claws are pretty
well worn down," said tho visitor. "1
BupNjso by constant use on the (loot
and walls of his cago."
"Ho has one claw not worn down
at all." answered the keeiwr. "but
I'll kt you can't detect it "
Tho visitor lonb 1 ut all the paw
and could see nothing but well worn
claws. "Where is it (" he asked.
"At the end of the tail." said the
keeiMr.
"Oh, now," remarked the visitor,
"uo more jokes on mo toduy, thank
yon."
The keeper put his hand between
the bars, caught tho putiout ex rnon
arch of tho forest by the tail and
showed the visitor a sort of horny
hook concealed among the long hiurt
at tho end of it. "What uso it serve
there," ho added, "naturalists don't
know, I bolievo. Some say he uset
it to lash himself into a rage. Next
timo you look at any books on Nine
veh, notice how the old Assyriant
exaggerated this hook on the tails ol
lions carved upon their funny old
marbles. Now ork Tnbune.
Curing an Oiler Skin.
A full grown sea otter is from foui
to five foot long and U'lhaiis a foot
or mora wide. When a hunter se
cures one ho loosens the hide from
tho nose and bend nnd, without cut
ting it lengthwiso ut all, ho pulls the
shin dowu over the body, tho hide
being so elastic that this is not a dif
ficult job. It is then stretched ovei
a smooth board 01 feet long, 0 inchei
wido at one end and 10 at the otliei
end Each end of this board it
tailored to a point Another board
exactly the same size is then inserted.
and the skin is stretched a foot oi
eighteen Inches longer than its orig
lual length.
A third board, half the length ot
the other, is wedged in and the skin
lightly tucked at the ends to hold it
in place. If any flush adheres to the
skin it is theu cut off, and the hide
is cured and dried in this condition
In a few days it is taken off of the
boards and turned fur sidu out, whet,
it is reudv for market Cor. San
Francisco Chronicle.
A High Tunnel.
A remarkable pieco of engineering
work is the tunnel of the Parana
Oroya railroad through un Andeun
mountain euk at Ualera, rum.
is at an elevation of COO feet above
the perpetual now lino, and is 8,847
feet long. It is the highest ruilroad
tunnel in the world, nnd is located
in tho highest luhubitcd region in the
world. The town of Ualera is 13,635
feet alwve tho sea level, nearly 1,600
feet higher than tho hotel on the top
of Pike's peak. Philadelphia Ledger.
Why Negroc. C.n Bear llo.L
The function of a negro's block
skin is supioMed to lie the conversion
of the sun's light into heat. The beat
thus generated remains in the skin
and docs not tienetrate to the deepei
tissues. Being thus provided with a
suu tiroof armor, the negro can stand
an amount of heat that would be
fatal to a white man and run little
or no risk of sunstroke. St Louis
Republic.
Waterproof Loath. n
An Austrian chemist is reported to
have solved the problem of water
proofing leather by a cheap and eta
cient method. He employs a aolu
tion of fifteen parts of gelatine and
five part of bichromate of potash
dissolved tn 1,200 parts of water, un
pregnating the leather with this so
lution causes the albumen loeoagu
late in the poroa.-New York Jour
Cold la llra.il.
Brazil which only a century ago
waa the richest of gold producing
countries, has now ceased to be large-
' Iv DrodUCtive.
The total output ol
1 the metal from that part of the world
from the end of the Buteenta cen-
tury uuUl now ia tuiiated at $700,
" "'
HOME AT LAST.
ho Bad Uokod Forward lo Dor Tlsll
for rifty V.an.
She was an odd looking little old
woman in a skimpy nnd faded block
alpaca dress and a big, old fashioned
black straw bonnet with some limp
black feathers and faded ribbon on
it But her small and deeply wrin
kled old face had a kindly look and
her blue eyes were as blight and
twinkling as the eyes of a child.
She talked to every person near
her on the train and the burden of it
all was that she waa "going back
home."
"Jist think of it," she said in her
cracked, childish voice; "it'll be fifty
years next May, the 10th day, senco I
left my old home in New Hampshire,
an I ain't never been back senco, an
here when I went away I reckoned
sure I'd git back onco in four or fivo
years, anyhow, but I ain't never
wetit until now, and it'll be fifty
years tho 10th day of next May. I
was married on tho Oth an moon
Aaron, he's my husband, started for
tho west tho very next day.
"Aaron said I should como home
iu two years, but our first baby was
born about that time an I couldn't
come then, an somehow or other
there wan't no timo after that when
I could come. But I ain't blamin
Aaron. Ilo'd been wilhn for mo to
como if I could of got off. Aaron,
he's been back twice. It was easier
fer him to git away than fer mo.
I'll find changes? La me! yes.
There's skosly any one left thnt I
know, but I've got nn own sister an
brother wholl lie glad to see me.
An tho old house I was born iu is
still standin. I know list how it
looks. Some things'U bo jist as
natchrel. There don't nobody know
how glad I'll bo to git back homo.
11 be home m the tnoruin. Here
ou, air. rortcr, minu tnnt you git
mo up airly. But, la met 1 ain't like
ly to oversleep so nigh homo."
But sho was not awake In tne
morning when all the other passen
gers were up and dressed. The por
ter called her, but there was no re
sponse, and one of the ladies in the
car rarted the curtains of tho old
lady's berth and stepid back with a
frightened look, saying in a whisper:
"Shots dead I"
Sho had gone homo in the night-
Detroit Free Press.
Danger In Smoking Room.
Remaining in closed rooms in which
smoke is sometimes so thick that
ouo cannot see is particularly to be
avoided by people who are subject to
weakness of tho heart, even if they
do not stnoko. Dr. Vallin has recited
before the Society of Medicine three
conclusive facta in this respect. One
told of a young officer who had given
up the use of tobacco three months
before, and who was overcome with
a suffocation similar to angina aftet
having passed two or three nights in
his room where his friends had been
in the habit of coming to smoko.
. The case recalls an epidemic of the
some disease observed by Dr. Uelin
eau among some sailors who were
crowded in the hold of a tramp
stenmor. They were obliged during
a storm to cover tho hatchways and
smoked to excess in order to have
something to do. Even those who
themselves did not smoke wore
stricken like the others, for they had
inhaled the same poisonous air and
subjected themselves to the action ot
nicotine upon the lungs. Jules !
chard in Revue des Deux Mondes.
Stick j On Ion Juice.
A vory convenient muciluge can la
made out of onion juice by any ona
who wishes to use it A good sized
Spanish onion, after being boiled a
short time, will yield on being pressed
quite a large quantity of vory a lho
sive fluid. This is used quite exten
sively in various trades for asting
paper onto tin or Einc, or even glass,
and the tenacity with which it holds
would surprise any one on making
the first attempt It is the choaiiest
and best mucilage for such purposes,
and answers just as well as many of
the more costly and patent cements.
Some of the cemenU sold by street
fakirs at ten cents a bottle consist of
nothing but onion juice and water,
and the bottle and cork cost a great
deal more than tho contents. St.
Louis Globe Democrat
The french and Thirteen at T.ble.
Among the French every precaution
is taken to avoid the seating of thirteen
at a dinner. In many cases the host has
been known to dispatch messengers to
bring in a fourteenth friend to dispel
the supposed fatal charm, when by some
inadvertence or accident tne original
number of invited gueeta waa reduced
to thirteen.
As an Instance of the bold this super
stition baa on our Gallic friends it is re
lated that several years ago a dinner was
given by a fashionable club tn New York
to the officers of a French frigate lying
tn the harbor. Upon sitting down to the
table it waa discovered that the company
numbered but thirteen. Another person
was vainly sought after to break the
spell. Thereupon one of the officers
arose and left the room, inns leaving nis
friends in the security of a safe dozen.
although denying himself a most enjoy
able and tempting repast-
foaed All Over.
A good illustration of the amount
of change brought about by deep sea
investigations in our ideas of the dis
tribution of the fishes is to be seen in
the history of the discoboli. It ia
now shown that the discoboles, disk
bearers, lumpfishes, Bucking fishes
or sea snails, aa they are variously
called, are no longer restricted to the
Atlantic and Pacific in their northern
parts and to the Arctic ocean. New"
York Times.
Tho End of Bnmaa Life,
An interesting calculation ia made
by a French geologist to tho effect
that, taking into consideration the
wear and tear on the solid land by
ocean washing, rivers, wind and
weather, and leaving out of the cal
culation volcanic action, the world
will in 4,500,000 years be completely
under water and no dry hind exist
at all New York Journal.