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About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (May 7, 1892)
CacU ' Crulr Looked Among
' ,),. KrllUn Ironrlada.
Almost like ywlt they look com.
Jj with some ol livlr huge
PVfnriouieol Grrat Britain's strong-
Tgnd luoiit torriblo sea monsters are
S t Ia Itnrlwip Ivlnr rn tl.n
p" if iii slumber, quiet and trail-
B enough l,ow' but rtuJy to ftwukl,
iVir uiitrfn' bidding, and to vomit
rtb di'otb and devastation from their
Close t0 our "''Ip b the Anson; on
pother ide the huge Hcnbow, with
asiiv bluek hull wid white, fortress
JLmperstriieturo, points the uiuzzles
, ber enormous guns over the tup of
the turret like barbettes on her decks,
. n Mlj aft, while from the portu iu
M liilt the cannons of her butteries
L, iitc-nHcingly outward. A fringe of
davits, trou which hero and there
is huiigiutf. r"118 n both sides of
upper deck, and her tall military
mast, the t" bristling with machine
mia tupi-ri aloft amidships.
The Anson Hies the Hug of the rear
diniral: on her quarterdeck scarlet
gated, white helmeted marines are
Jjhwd up and the band Is playing;
ilonipide of her some boats are lying,
farther out in tho bay the Iron Duke
1 shaken out her topsails, and the
anvai droops from tho long yards In
panful folds, while from her bows to
of ber mainmast the white clothing
f ber crew, hanging there to dry, Hut
ten from the clotheslines.
Over by the long stone wall or the
Sew Mole the Northumberland and
the Colossus, the vice admiral's ship,
a number of smaller vessels dis
pitch boats and yachts are moored,
lule back among the colliers the
Monarch's white ensign marks the
presence of a man-of-war In their
midst In tho oiling another naval
monster, the Caniperdown, Is steaming
lowly out to sea.
The harbor Is alive with row boats
uid launches of all kinds. Yonder,
glancing like a fish half emerging from
the water, comes a small, queerly
limped craft. Circling with astonishing
rapidity around our ship for a moment
it darts off suddenly, and, with a swish
ud quick splosh, something drops from
Its side. A moment later a dull report,
i tab of tiro and a little puff of blue
moke curling over tho water some
distance beyond us, where a little red
Hag waves from a sort of buoy floating
there, shows us that tho torpedo that
t e have Just seen launched has reached
its mark. R. F. Zogbaum In Scribner's.
A Scolding Husband Cured.
a woman whom her husband used
frequently to scold went to a cunning
man to Inquire how she might cure
him of his barbarity. The sagacious
Kxitlisayor heard her complaint, and
after pronouncing some hard words
and using various gesticulations, while
he filled a phial with colored liquid,
desired her whenever her husband was
Id a passion to tako a mouthful of the
liquor and keep it in her mouth for five
The woman, quite overjoyed at so
smple a remedy, strictly followed the
counsel which was given her, and by
her silence escaped the usual annoy
ance, The contents of the bottle bo
ingat Inst expended, she returned to
llw cunning man and anxiously begged
to have another possessed of the same
"Daughter," said tho man, "there
ms nothing in the bottle but brown
lupir and water. When your husband
kin a passion hold your tongue and,
my life on it, he will not scold you hi
future," New York Ledger.
Where Lace Are Made.
The English thread laces are made
h the south of England, but the work
er! are rapidly dying out and tho
younger people are taking to employ
ments more profitable. The amount
of thread lace brought Into the market,
therefore, grows smaller from year to
The Venetian laces, which at one
time did really come from Venice, are
ow largely manufactured In Brussels,
hence they are sold to the merchants
Jf Venice, and resold again by them as
hi general lice workers are receiving
little compensation that new comers
Wo the art-for art it is are rare,
"o counteract this decline the lace
manufacturers of Belgium have found
It necessary to establish schools In that
Wintry for the education of the young
b the coarse as well as tho finer grades
f lace making. New York Evening
On a Railway Train.
"What a fine color that man has on
neck," whispered a gentleman to
to companion as they sat together In
of the Incoming trains. "Yes," an
gered, his companion, admiringly goa
ty on the bronzed neck Just in front
" them. "I suppose he's been off
jomewhere with the rod and reel hav-
The neck In front of them turned
ly and twisted slightly around with
difficulty, and a voice which left
00 doubt as to the neck It came from
"No, I ain't been off with my rod
reel, but If yer so doosid curious
been off with a bottle of Iodine
tough earache." And the Iodine
Jfd neck turned slowly and stiffly
leaving the two gentlemen to the
dy of its bronzed mahogany and to
consideration of the ease with
jcb people hear remarks carefully
Jded not to reach their ears. -New
. Cat a HnmorUt.
ni obliged to send you an aneo
p . y cat, a long haired black
aiT Uv'lnS in the suburbs, we
J Wetd by cats of all kinds, and
TfJ Perpetually driving them away,
by the said long haired favorite,
WAk0"8 tiem a Premise8
bair and tail standing wildly erect
avJWntin8r a lnost alarmin? PPer"
feel that this violent demon-
r100 must be a Joke, as the sains
constantly carries the remains of
Q dinn l a la
an open space and up some
. W to feed the identical animals she
T drVen off an hnnf - twn nra-
FEATURES Of HOTEL LIFE.
net Who Cr.au Trouble O,., Ta.l,
"I tell yon. m7m. behind the eoUn.
tor of a ,ot. ofilce I. a good plae to
tudy human nature, and he must be
very obtuw who stays there very long
without gaining a vast amount of ex
perience," MM the clerk. "There are
men and there are hogs, gentlemen and
cads, In fact, all torts and ail condi
tions of humanity are to be met at a
publio hotel, and the clerk soon guts to
know them all and estimates them ac
cordingly. Of course 1 realize there Is
no particular credit In being homut,
hut at the same time I like to see hon
esty acknowledged. 1 remember an
old gentleman lout a Jackknife In his
room onoe at the Sherman house, and
the girl sent it down to the office. It
was not worth ten cents, but the owner
was so pleased with the girl's scrupu
lous regard of property rights that he
gave me ?1 to send up to her.
"About a week later this same girl
sent down a fat pockotbook, which she
had found on the floor of No. 40. At
the first opportunity I opened It for ex
amination, and found It contained near
ly 55.000 In bills, bonds and certificates
of deposit. Two hours later in came
the owner, a man of about 85, with
gray huir and beard. Ho asked for his
key in an excited manner, and without
another word rushed for the elevator.
Pretty soon he returned white as a
sheet 'Oh, sir,' he sighed, 'I've lost
my pockctbook, and with It all I have
in the world.'
" 'Where did you lose Itf I asked.
" 'I don't know ; I can't tell ; I thought
It was In my room, but I have hunted
all through it unsuccessfully.'
" 'Is your room made up!' I Inquired.
" 'No; that la, the bed Is not. but the
sheets have been taken out, I notice.'
"Then 1 asked hliu to describe the
pocketbook and Its contents, which he
did very accurately, and as he finished
I pulled out the lost article and laid it
before him. I wish you could have
seen his face change color; it was a
revelation. He laughed and cried by
turns, and then asked the girl's name,
so that he might reward her substan
tially for her honesty. Well, the old
fellow stayed a week longer, but after
receiving his bill one night he dis
appeared, and not only never remem
bered the chambermaid, but even for
got to settle his board bill. It Is base
actslike this that occasionally make
one lose all faith iu human nature,
"Lots of men will come down stairs,
eat breakfast and go about their busi
ness and then return In half an hour
or so in a great hurry, saying they left
their money or gold watch under the
pillow, and anxiously Inquire if the
money or bills have been found. To
the credit of the chambermaids I am
glad to say that rarely have I found
them dishonest, and anything left in
the rooms under their care is as safe as
If in the olllce vault And yet how
often are they accused falsely I"
"I shall always remember how I
roasted a man once at tho Sherman
house," resumed Charlie Hilton, when
George paused for breath. "I was on
the afternoon watch when I saw the
check boy approaching the desk hang-
big on to an overcoat at which a guest
of the hotel was tugging viciously.
Both man and boy were excited and
each tried to speak at once.
" This coat belongs to me, and I In
sist upon taking It' asserted the man,
making another desperate struggle at
the desired article,
" 'Why don't you show up your
check thenf sung out the lad in the
" 'You didn't give me a check.'
" '1 did if you left your coat'
" 'You did not. I laid my coat on
the counter and you forgot to give me
a check. This is my coat and I am go
ing to have it'
"By this time a crowd had collected,
and after the man had ceased I ordered
the youth to release the garment and
lot the claimant try it on. With a sneer
of triumph he grabbed the article and
crawled Inside, when he found to his
intense astonishment it was at least
four times too large, and plainly belong
ed to some one else.
"Among the spectators of tills com
edy was an old fellow who had been
writing letters all the forenoon, and
when the row began he slipped away,
returning Just as the guest was trying
to sneak off amid the Jeers of the
" 'Ul, therel See here.' said the old
gentleman, holding up a brown over
coat 'I guess this is yours. I found
It on the armchair where you threw it
this morning when you came In to
write some letters.'
"The man snatched the coat and
was breaking away when I called to
him and gave him the worst tongue
lashing he had ever received. I was
pretty mad. and I let loose for all I
was worth. Everybody enjoyed it ex
cept the victim, for all knew he richly
deserved the scoring. He finally es
caped, and only returned that night to
pay his bill. He left without having
had the grace to apologize to the boy
for the many gratuitous Insults he had
Facts About Lightning Stroke.
A statistical investigation of lightning
strokes in central Germany, covering a
period of twenty-six years, has been re
cently carried out by Herr Kastner.
The number of cases has Increased
about 129 per cent ; In 1889 it amounted
to 1, 143. The author distinguishes four
thunderstorm paths. The starting
points of all these are In hills, and in
their course the woodless districts and
flat country, river valleys and low
meadow ground about lakes seem spe
cially liable, while the wooded and liilly
parts generally escape. The hottest
months (June and especially July) and
the hottest hours of the day. or those
immediately following them (3 to 4 p.
m.), show the most lightning strokes. -Chicago
Elderly Visitor (to parrot) Yon lit
tle love, kiss me.
Parrot (moving over to the otner
end of the perch. In alarm-Meher-culel
next thing she'll be wanting to
marry me. Epvch.
JOHN 6TRANGE WINTER.
Inrk Drought to tlx Author mt The
Other Mid'i Wlf." by lloneahOM.
Mrs. Arthur Stnnnarl, letter known
as "John Strange Winter," Uanauthor
whoso outlook In life U suiiuv. Ixn-
don, or tho most interesting part of It
goes out often to visit her In her fine
old honse at Putney, near the Thames.
At her summer garden parties and win
ter "at homes" artists, authors and
Journalists mako a charming Bohemian
circle about the jeeuliar trophy of
uorsesiioes arranged hi her reception
hall. Tho writer of "Booties' Huhy"
confesses to a pet superstition. After
tho manuscript of that story had bwn
hawked about to six publishers she
picked up a horseshoo an hour before
the news came tliut The London
Grnpliio had accepted It On three
other occasions of finding horwwhoos
she has immediately heard of good
things, and her friends affect a Joking
reverence for these mascots and In
variably hold all discussions of Im
portant enterprises within tho radius of
their auspicious influences.
It Is not every visitor to Tutney who
has tho entrco of the nursery of Mr.
Winter, so called until the favorable
receptions of "Hoopla" and "In Quar
ters" induced tho author to let the pub
lio Into tho secret of her sex. She is
the mother of thrco chubby babies, the
eldest of whom is 5 years old. These
mischievous, sunny tempered young
sters fill their end of tho houso with
laughter. With a toddler on each knee
and another lumping over a choir be
hind she answered a question as to the
happiest hour sho hod ever seen.
"To understand tho plonsnntest little
thing that ever happened to mo you
must know tlmt when I was 13 years
old my dear old schoolmistress politely,
but firmly, informed my father that I
got into so many scrapes he must really
tako mo homo. When my 'Cavalry
Life' began to receivo favorable uotices
tho impulso cumo to mo to write and
let this teacher into my secret The
congratulations I received in reply gave
mo more pleasure, I think, than any
others I havo ever received."
Mrs. Stannurd is not a beautiful wom
an, though her face is a pleasant one.
Her knowledgo of military life came to
her naturally, her father, tho Rev. II.
V. Palmer, having been prior to enter
ing the church an officer hi the royal
artillery. Mr. Staimard is by profes
sion a civil engineer, but his timo is al
together at his w ife's disposal, he being
her private secretary and conducting
all negotiations with her publishers.
St Louis Post-Dispatch.
Cincinnati School IIoum Eipennet.
The teachers' salaries alone for tne
school year ending Aug. 31, 1889, were
$013,097. Janitors, of which there are
sixty, cost tho city about $30,000, or
(G00 each. The amount spent In re
pairs for the different school houses
was $21,940. The cost of new build
ings was $219,24, the Wurner street
house alone costing $71,238 without
the lot The lot cost $15,300. New
furniture to the amount of $8,025 was
bought, but this does not include the
Warner street supplies.
For fuel $22,053 went a glimmering.
It required about 5,000 tons of coal
and several thousand dollars worth of
kindling. Two thousand six hundred
and seventy-three dollars was paid out
for rent to accommodate some of the
"colonies." Heating fixtures were put
in costing the city $10,291. The schools
are all provided with gas, and often in
dark days it is necessary to burn it the
whole of tho school hours. The gas
cost $193.50 that year. Four lots were
bought for tho sum of $32,075, Includ
hisr tho bust Warner street lot. This
makes a grand total of $947,027. Cuv
An African Ruler.
Borthoen. paramount chief of the
Banwuketzo nation, is a model African
sovereign. Ho is lord of 17,000 square
miles of some of tho finest country In
South Africa, rich In gold, silver, cop
per, Iron, asbestos, and capable of sus
taining countless heads of cattlo. This
nnnnrrv lies to tho north of the colony
of Beelmanaland, with the Boers for
neighbors on the east and the chiefs
Khiima and Lo Bengulaon the north.
Since Borthoen came to the throne
he has effected a moral revolution in
his country. Ho has encouraged agri
culture, induced thousands of his peo
ple to embrace Christianity and has
strictly prohibited the liquor traffic in
his dominions. JNew lorn umnner
Trovers Say, old man, great scheme I
Am going to London. You order wliat
clothes you want Some height, same
breadth. I buy them. Bring 'em
hack. Good fit Cheap. Eh J
Dashaway Splendid. I'll make out
my order at once. When you get back
I'll nav vou.
Tra vers You will, ehf Well, I'd
like to know how In thunder you ex
pect me to get over there. Clothier
Next to It.
"We had such a scare last night !r
she said as she got seated.
"Not quite, but the rerj next thing
to it A policeman tried our bacK
door, and we all got up and sat np for
two hours." Detroit Free Press.
n.fi.Hm.n t of ftallrloa.
Polite Stranger I wish to see the
religious editor, U you liave one on uus
Office Boy (cautiously) The the
. .11 t 1 U In
man WOi runs iu reu'ims cuiuuiu m
fust room to to.' rignt. uooa news.
Officer He's pretty wild, sir. Thinks
be owns th world.
Jntir What's his business I
Officer He's been Janitor of 4 down
town office building. Judge.
Ague Ah, Fever I
Fever Ah, Ague I
Both BiuJtel Pock.
WHY OIL CALMS THE SIK
It Smooth Out the Klpplea mi the Vln
Can't rt a tirlp on (lie Water.
Tlie action of oil in calming the sea is
now mt generally iveognled that tlie
new ruin as to life saving appliance
require that every boat of sea going
vetisebt and all life boats shall carry
"one gallon of oil and a vessel of ap
proved pattern for distributing it on
tho water in rough weather." Tlie po
tency of oil In smoothing waves was
recently explained by 1ird Ilnyleigh
lieforo tho lioyal Institution iu a lucid
The well known scientist's experi
ments demonstrate that foam or froth
is caused by Impurities In liquids. Thus,
on slinking up a bottle containing pure
water, we get no appreciable, foam, but
taking a mixture of water witb 5 per
cent, of alcohol there is a much greater
tendency to foam. Camphor, glue and
gelatine, dissolved In water, greatly in
crease its foaming qualities, and soup
Lord Ihiyleigh finds that sea water
foams, not on account of its saline mut
ter, but in conscqucnco of the pres
ence of something extracted by wave
action from seaweeds. By simply put
ting his finger into water which was
moving vigorously under the influence
of a few camphor scrapings tho con
tamination of tlie water by the intlui
tesimul amount of grease sufficed to
form an Invisible film over it and to
neutralize tho foaming action produced
by tho dissolved camphor.
The effect of oil on waves, as sev
eral physicists have proved, is not to
subduo tho huge swell, but to smooth
and tone down Its ripples, each of
which gives tho wind a point d'uppul.
thus Increasing the forco of the break
ing waves. "The film of oil," says
Lord Raylt'igh, ''may lie compared to
an inextensiblo membrnnt floating on
tho surface of the water and hamper
Ing Its motion."
As long as tho advancing tumultuous
sea water is pure there is nothing to
oppose its periodic contractions and
extensions, but when its surface Is cov
ered with the oily membmno tho most
dangerous contractions and extensions
The scientific demonstration of the
soa quelling virtuo of oil is worthy of
note by all sailors. It is fortunate for
them that Lord Ilayleigh has accom
plished this at a time when ocean
storms, and especially tropical hurri
canes, are likely to tax the seaman's
art to tho utmost In saving his craft
from destruction. London Nautical
Advertising by Sample.
On one of the hottest of July days
there drove up to the hotel, where half
a dozen breathless guests were vainly
endeavoring to keep cool, a buggy hi
which sat a long haired, elderly man
and a gayly dressed but rather vulgar
looking young woman. The buggy
stopped, and the uian, after greeting
the company in an engaging and affa
ble manner, threw toward tliem
handful of dingy printed slips.
One of the more enterprising of tlie
boarders picked up the slip which
fluttered near his foot, and discovered
that Professor Diamond and his cele
brated family would give a concert and
entertainment in the town hall of the
villogo on tho following evening.
"I am Professor Diamond," tlie
elderly man announced, as soon as ho
was satisfied that the reader had discov
ered what the circulars were about
"This is my oldest daughter, Maria.
With tho word ho produced from un
der tho seat a wheezy accordion, and
began to play "Pull for the Shore." In
the most absolutely indifferent manner,
but with the voice of a calliope, tlie
young woman began also to sing, and
went through two or three stanzas
without stopping for breath.
"We generally give folks a sample,"
the professor explained, as she con
cluded. "Now, how many of you will
take tickets? My other daughter Is a
sight likelier singer than this one Is.
Tickets are only fifty cents with re
And out of sheer amusement tlie
boarders all bought tickets to tho con
cert thus advertised by sample.
The Mont Common Misquotation.
"What is the most common misquo
tation In the English lnnguge?" asked
the Inquisitive member of the Cogburn
club as the purist entered. The an
swer come promptly;
"When Greek meets Greek, then
conies the tug of war."
"Well what Is the matter with that?"
asked the Inquisitive member.
"That Is the most common misquota
tion in the English language," respond
ed the purist "I heard the lute Itescoe
Conkling say once that lie won a bas
ket of wine from Clement L Vallandig
ham on that quotation. He wagered
that Mr. Vallindigham could not tell
what the correct words were, nor who
wrote them, nor when they were writ
ten. And he won on every point Now
put yourself in Mr. Vallandigham's
Dlace. What would you have doner
"I should have declined to make tlie
bet." said the inquisitive member.
"And I." "and L" came from all
parts of the room.
"But I should not" said the purist
" 'When Greeks Joined Greeks, then
was the tug of war" Is the correct quo
tation. It was written by Nathaniel
Lee, an Englishman, about the year
"Did you ever see It quoted correct-
Ivf" asked the Inquisitive memoer.
"Never in the newspapers," said ths
purist Utica Observer.
The Invention of the Wheelbarrow,
The invention of the wheelbarrow
ha ben credited commonly to Pascal,
a French philosopher and writer of
ahnut the middle ol the Bevenioeuin
Aontiirv. Accordinir to Littre's diction
ary of the French language, however,
Mm wheelbarrow was invented by a
Mr. Dupin hi 1C69. One or the other
of these two accounts ha been accept
ed generally la France at least, where
every useful invention Is Deuevea W M
of French orhrfn. Exchange.
HE WASN'T QUITE READY.
A Man Who Couldn't Join the Fold I'ntll
He Hail Whipped Abe llemler.
During n revival the minister notic
ing that a young man named Hank
Boyd had begun to sink dowu under
apparent conviction, approached him
and asked, "How do you feeir
"Don't you feel that your life has
boon sinful, and that it is timo to turn
froui thoccrtaiu destruction thatawuits
"Well, won't you come up now and
kneel down at tho altar ("
"No, 1 don't believe I will right now."
"But uow Is thoucccptcd time. How
much danger do you sup)oso your soul
b In this very minute?"
"Middlin' danger, I reckon."
"Como with me," the preacher urged,
taking hold of his arm.
"'o, not right now I'll seo you after
"Do not let anything stand between
you and the cross, my dear boy."
"Won't ef I kin ho'p it"
"Well, then, como along with me."
"No, not right now."
"Don't you know that it is danger
ous to wait ("
"Yes reckon tliar's iiiiddUn lot of
danger hi it"
"Then for heaven's sake coino."
"No, I kaiu't till I do one tiling. I've
got tor whup Abo Bender befo' I kere
to profess religion. After that's done
I'll be on tho Lord's side."
"Oil, you must not think of whip
"Kain't ho'p it when ho has done me
"What did he dor
"Wall, 1 war away from homo tutlier
day off on the country road ten mile
from a house, an' I wanted a chaw ter
backer wus'n-a houu' pup over wanted
a hunk o' liver, an' I war powerful nigh
dead and war a slobbcrin' like a hoss
entin' white clover. Just then I met
Abo. I axed him for a chaw, an' he
grinned at me, a showin' a mouthful of
long green, but 'lowed ho wouldn't
give mo nono. I war too weak to whup
liiui then, but I'm pcurtor now, an' I
think I kin fetch him, an' after I have
tried w'y I'd como into yo' flock."
"My son,' said tho preacher, as ho
bit oil a chew of long green, "I don't
blame you, mid uioro than that, I'll
help you whalo him." Exchange,
Cheuilcali for Ilouiehold Cm,
It b surprising, considering how
many women havo been instructed In
chemistry in their school days, to find
how few housekeepers mako any use of
chemicals iu various household proc
esses. Tho washing of clothes Is usu
ally wholly accomplished by rubbing
the clothes on tho washboard, and
with no other detergent than soap.
Tho rubbing of tho clothes wears them
out far more than use, and If houskecp
ers only know, or if knowing they
would take advantngo of tho fact that
many washing compounds will almost
entirely cleanse clothes which are soak
ed hi them over night, and thus almost
entirely do away with tho labor and
wear of tho washboard, wash day
might bo robbed of half its terrors.
Receipts for washing fluids, the prin
cipal ingredients of which are sodaasli,
ammonia and liino, can bo found in
nearly every household receipt book,
and are very cheap and harmless. All
such washing compounds are useful
and convenient for cleaning woodwork,
paints and carpets in a houso, also In
washing dishes and securing that desid
eratum of housekeepers clean dish
cloths. Ammonia b a slmplo, cheap
and harmless chemical that should be
bought by tho quart and kept In every
family. Hall's Journal.
A London Literary Machine.
There b In London a bureau of
skilled literary craftsmen under the
charge of Mr. Maxwell, tho husband of
Miss Braddon, which evolves those in
terminable three vol u mo stories of hers
which stretch out to twenty-six sorlul
porta. Miss Braddon furnishes the
plot, some of tho situations, part of the
conversation and tlie catastropho, but
the rest tho prolonged descriptions,
byplay of characters, sentiment and
sensation Is suppliod by the ready
pens of the young craftsmen who are
employed and not very well paid to
"pud" the romances which pass under
her nnmo. When a story b ready for
tho market tho advance shoots are sent
out over Great Britain and America by
a syndicate, and If one wishes to pur
chase he must do it, as tho boys used
to say In swapping marbles, "unsigbt,
unseen," and he then pays his $100 for
the privilege of being the solo publbhor
In the state of New York. Cor. Phila
delphia Record. '
Caterpillar Cleaned Out.
Take a suitable pole, say ten feet
long, and attach to tho end a
coarse woolen cloth by winding it
with strong twine, so that it will not
slip either way. Tako from one to
three quarts of wood ashes, pour on
hot water, and thus get a strong lye.
Take an old pail, turn in the lye, add
ing one pint or more of soft soap, and
stir welL It b then ready for use, and
I will warrant this lye and soap to deal
tho death blow Instantly to all cater
pillars by thrusting the saturated swab
straight into the nests. Put the pole
and swab In a secure place for future
use. Country Gentleman.
Million In It.
Ames, of long handled shovel fame,
did not invent the implement A boy
who was diuimig out a woodchuck
broke tho handle of hb shovel, and
fitted In a temporary one of double the
length. Ames happened to pass by,
and noticing how much easier the
shovel was handled he caught on and
started a factory. The boy got a dol
lar hat and the woodchuck out of it
Detroit Free Proas.
Ponaonbj Did Not Know or Wa Satirical.
Tommy Pop. what b meant by
Mr. Ponson by That's tho sort of
time a man has when be endeavors to
prove to hb wife that summering two
weeks In August means Daukruptcy.
THEY CLEANED HIS HEART.
The Daring Kiperlmeiit of French I'hral-
riaue and IU fatal lleiult.
American surgeon havo tho credit of
being among tlui ino- t d.iriug In their
experiments, bet they do not licat the
French. What do you think of an at
tempt to cloon a man's heart) This b
what was attempted a short while since
here in Franco. This is a trim story I
am telling you, no invention. Two
surgeons actually set to work to cut
open a man's chest for the purpse of
getting at and cleaning his heart
Joseph Davenne, an upholsterer, had
been suffering for many yeani from
fatty degeneration of tho heart. The
poor man knew that ho had not long
to live, yet he was only 48 years of age,
and saw no reason why ho should (lie.
Moreover, the doctors told him they
thought they might powtihly cure him.
They persuaded him that at least he
would he doing invaluable, service to
science, and that ho was bound to die
soon at any rate if nothing was done,
whereas this might prove the means of
curing thousands of sufferers beside
"And so," the story b gravely told In
a French medical JourniU from which
I translate, "poor M. Davenno con
sented to place himself under their
Then comes a lot of technical de
scription of tho operation, which was
performed under water while the pa
tient was in a condition of amrathosin,
I won't give all these sclcntlllo words;
It b quite unnecessary to tell In scien
tiflo language how the cuticle was re
moved, tho poctond muscles carefully
dissected from the ribs, tho cartilaginous
Junctions of tho ribs and sternum dis
connected and tho heaving lungs in
their delicate, shining, covering mem
branes excised to view.
Fp to this point tho patient still
The heart, however, had not yet
been reached. But to tho two French
surgeons this was a mere detail which
their knives would sjeodily over
como. They did overcomo this mere
detail very rapidly. In less than a
minute more ono of them had M. Da
venue's heart in his hand, and was
busily engaged scraping from its surface
tho adipose dciosit with which it was
covered and which so hnxdod Its
"Hold on a moment !" exclaimed the
surgeon. "Tho man is dead I"
And so ho was dead as tho door nail
which Dickens has made proverbial.
How they could have expected any
thing else is not recorded. They had,
however, taken the precaution to have
M. Davenne sign, seal and deliver a
paper to the effect that the operation
was performed entirely at his own risk,
and that no person but himself was to
bo held in any way whatever responsi
ble for his death, should It occur.
Paris Cor. New York World.
A Street Car Kplnode.
I was coming up town Iu a street car
recently when there entered, evident
ly from ono of the neighboring railroad
ferries, an old gentleman dressed
rather carelessly In an old fashioned
way, who had a good sized Michel In
his hand. Ho sat down and rested the
sachel on his knees. The conductor,
who rejoiced In a bull neck and a
square Jaw very much In need of the
razor, came in for his fare and said.
"Put that gripsack on the fhxr."
"I prefer to curry it this way," re
plied tho old gentleman calmly, for
which nolMdy blamed him, as the floor
of the cor was carpeted with mud.
"Are you goln' to put it down, sayT
demanded tho conductor, with a scowl
"No," replied the old gentleman,
looking him squarely In the eye.
The scoundrel went to the rear plat
form muttering curses on what he de
nominated "the old Jay." "The old
Jay" was one of the most distinguished
lawyers in the country, an ex-gnvrnor
of a great state and a scholar of mil
venal renown. New York Cor. Pitt
What Trained Benae Can Do.
Tlie talk drifted to thA education of
tlie senses to a higher degree than com
mon, and one man said : "It b remark
able how well a perfumer learns to
recognize a scent In testing a sweet
smelling liquid he wets the baso of his
loft thumb with a littlo of it Then he
rubs the place rapidly with hb right
hand. The alcohol in which the es
sence b dissolved, being tho more vola
tile, b at once evaporated, and the sub
stance which emits the odor remaining
behind he can smoll In It Its purity.
"Of course it b an easy thing to rec
ognize the principal odors that are in
use, but when soveral are mixed, as b
common, hb task becomes more diffl
cult Yet a skilled man cannot only
tell yon what tliree or four perfumes
enter Into tho composition of the one
he b testing, but also, roughly, tlie re
lative proportions of each." New
A Corlou Advertisement.
The following remarkable alphabet
ical "ad." appeared In an issue of The
London Times as long as ago as 1842
"To Widowers and Single Gentlemen
Wanted, by a lady, a situation to
superintend the household and preside
at table. She b Agreeable, Becoming,
Careful Desirablo, Emriish, Facetious,
Generous, Honest, Industrious, Judici
ous, Keen, Lively, Merry, Natty, Obe
dient, Philosophic, Quiet, Regular, So
ciable, Tasteful, Useful, Vivacious,
Womanish, Xantippish, Youthful, Zeal
ous, etc Address X. Y. Z., Slmmond't
library, Edgeware road." fit Lord
Celluloid artificial eyes are cheaper
than those of glass, and have a good
appearance; but Dr. Meurer, of Lyons,
states that after three or four moiitlis
they are liable to cause serious irrita
tion, probably as the result of some
chemical change. He has repeatedly
seen this Inflammation allayed by sim
ple antiseptic treatment after the re
moval of the celluloid, reappearing,
however, as soon as the old eye was
put In again, but remaining absent If a
glass eye was substituted. New Or
THE LARGEST MAN LIVINO.
Indiana Claim 90T found of Human
rieh In One Itelng.
Indiana now luys claim to the heavi
est man In tho world In the person of
John Hanson Craig, of Danvillo, Hen
Mr. Craig Mas Isirn in lowaCity, la.,
In 1855. While quite small hb parento
removed to Kentucky, where they lived
until John was uhout 13 years old. At
birth ho weighed 11 pounds. When 11
months old his weight was 77 pounds.
Prom this timo on his gain in flesh was
phenomenal. At the ago of 2 years lib
weight was 2ti0 pounds. During 1853
his parents took him to New York city
and entered him as a contestant In tlie
lmly show Inaugurated by P. T. Bar
mini, ami ho wo awarded a cosh prize
of $1,000 as the largest and heaviest
child on exhibition. At the age of 5
years his weight had Increased to 303
During the next six years hb weight
InereastHl to 405 pounds. The follow
ing eight years his weight Increased 196
pounds, causing him to tip tho beam at
001 pounds. At tho ago of 25 his weight
was 025; at 27 it had increased to 753
pounds. During tho next year ho
gained 31 Minds, making hb weight
at tho ago of 2H ?J2. From that time
on his weight has lxen gradually In
creasing, until ho now tips tho scale at
Mr. Craig has never been ill a day In
his life, b a very delicate cuter, b not
addicted to the use of Intoxicants and
dixa not use tobacco in any form.
Mr. Craig stands 0 feet S Indies In
his stocking feet and measures 8 feet 4
Inches nt tho hip. It requires forty-
ono yards of cloth to mako him a full
suit coat, vest and pantaloons and
It takes three pounds of yarn to make
him a pair of stockings. Ho laughing
ly says the cows always smile when
they seo him going to a shoo shop to
leave his measure for a pair of boots,
as it will tako a whole side to mako
him a pair. Ho wears No. 13 boots.
Tho father of Mr. Craig was a verr
small man, weighing from 115 to 120
pounds; his mother wasasmall woman,
not weighing over 110 or 113 pounds.
II is grout-grout -grand fat her on lib motli-
er's sido was tho first governor of Ver
mont, Governor Chittenden, and was
Inirn in Ireland Hb grandfather, Dr.
Hanson Cat let t, was assistant surgeon
general of tho United States for thirty-
five years, and died in the government
service at Kast Liberty, Pa. Ho was a
nativo of England.
On his father's sido Mr. Craig's grand
father was a nativo of Scotland. Hb
grandmother was a German, born in
Frankfort Mr. Craig Is a first cousin
to William P. Hepburn, solicitor for
tho United States treasury.
His wifo is a beautiful woman about
30 yean old, small of stature, and. will
weigh 130 pounds.
Mr. Craig is a pleasant conversation
alist and b well posted on tho current
topics of tho day ; b a member In good
standing of Ahrenent lodge No. 43,
Knights of Pythias; Silcox lodge, No.
123, Independent Order of Odd Fellows;
Matilda hxlgo No. CI, Daughters of llo
bekah; Danvillo encampment No. 47,
Independent Order of Odd Fellows, and
Tuscurora trilw No. 49, Independent
Order of Red Men. llo takes deep In
terest In tho secret work of tho societies
of which he Is a member, and none b
better versed In the unwritten work.
Ho Is a Jovial man and lib friends are
always glad of the opportunity of gath
ering at his pleasant home for an even
ing's social chut Cor. Chicago Times.
Won, but Loit tho Frlu.
There was a swimming race botween
four boys In Shecpsheud Bay one day.
A now suit of clothes was the first prize
and a new hat the second. The dis
tance to be traversod was probably 100
yards, from a point opposite the littlo
summer hotel of the donor of tho
prizes to a float out in the bay, tlie
swimmer first rwutlilng the float to be
declared the winner.
The boys were given a flying start
from tho shore, and they rushed into
tho water with a tremendous sploslu
When It came to swimming the people
on the shore soon perceived that a lithe
littlo fellow, with very red hair, was
winning In hollow stylo. He outclassed
all tho others, and soon had a wide gap
of daylight between himself and hb
nearest competitor. Still he continued
to gain, and finally reached and climbed
upon the float with an exultant cry.
No other boy was at that moment
"anywhere near" him.
But although he finished first he did
not win a prize, for when tlie second
swimmer como up he shouted to thi.
referee, who stood on the float :
"Don't give dat red headed feller do
prizo, 'cause he didn't win fair. Look
at his hands."
The referee looked, and saw that tlie
boy wus wearing a pair of flesh oolored
rubber gloves webbed between tlie flti
gers and thumbs, an ingenious device,
giving the swimmer much added power
to hb stroke. The referee gave tha
prizes to the boys who finished In sec
ond and third places. Now York Her
ald. An Equine Pensioner.
"Do you know," said Corp. Moore,
of tho Nowport barracks, "that there
is a horse in the United States army on
the retired list drawing a pension t
Well, It's a fact Tho horse belonged
to Capt Keogh, a near relative to Gen.
Custer, and Is tho only horse that es
caped the massacre In which that gen
eral was killed. His name b Comanche,
and he b stationed at Fort Riley, Kan.,
with the Seventh cavalry Custer's old
regiment Hb pension b sufficient to
cover lib transportation wherever ho
goes and to pay for his forage.
"He b cared for by a man detailed
for that duty, and who does nothing
else. Ho b saddled, bridled and equip
ped and led out for Inspection, yet no
one dares to sit in hb saddle. He has
been much sought after by enterprising
showmen, but Uncle Sam says no. He
will be kept as long as life lasts, and
after that will probably be prepared
and sent to the Smithsonian institu
tion at Washington. When fonnd Co
manche was many milt away from the
scene of battle, lie had seven wounds,
and was nearly exhausted from the lot
of blood. 'Cuicianati Tunes-Star,
y Ct. Loudon Spectator.