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About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 16, 1890)
DR. TALMAGE TELLS OF SOME COM MON CLOAKS FOR INIQUITY. Official Position, Good Maimer, Kind gearUdness, Social Advantages, Are of jio Avail Without tlx Lou f ciirlat In th Soul A flood Soriuun. i Wixfikld, Kan., June 29. Dr. Tul mage deal In his sermon toduy In char acteristic ityle with the various (ptrbs In which sin masquerades In modern s wi tty, and In stripping the monster of its dinguises he aims not only to reveal Its deformity to the world, but to put his hearers on their guard against self de lusion. His text Is John xv, 22: "Hut now they have no cloak for their sin." Sin is always disguised. Decked and glossed and perfumed and masked, it gains admittance in places from which It would otherwise I repelled. As silently as when it glided Into Eden, and as plausibly as when it tulked to Christ at tho top of the temple, it now addresses men. Could people look uikni gin as It always Is an exhalation from tho pit, the putrefaction of inllnite capaci ties, the gliastly, loathsome, God smit ten monster tlmt uprooted Eden and killed Christ and would push the en tire race Into darkness and pain the Infernal charm would be broken. Be fore our first parents transgressed, sin appeared to them the sweetness of fruit and the becoming as gods. To Ab salom it was the pleasure of sitting upon a throne. To men now sin is laugh ter and permission to luxurious gratifi cation. Jesus Christ in my text sug gests a fact which everybody ought to know, and that Is that sin, to hide its deformity and shame, is accustomed to wearing a cloak; and the Saviour also sets forth the truth that God can see straight through all such wrappings and thicknesses. I want now to speak of several kinds of cloaks with which men expect to cover up their iniqui ties, for the fashion in regard to these garments is constantly changing, and svery day beholds some new style of wearing them, nr..1 if y-.ti will tarry a little while I will show you five or six of the patterns of cloaks. THK CLOAK OF POWER, ' First, I remark that there are those who, being honored with official power, expect to make that a successful cloak for their sins. There is a sacredness in office. God himself is king, and all who hold authority in the world serve under him. That community has com mitted a monstrous wrong who has ele vated to this dignity persons unquali fied either by their ignorance or their Immorality. Nations who elevate to posts of authority those not qualified to fill thorn will feel the reaction. Sol omon expressed this thought when he said: "Woe unto thee, O land, when thy king is a child and thy princes drink in the morning." While positions of trust may be disgraced by the char acter of those who fill them, I believe God would have us respectful to the offices though we may have no admira tion for their occupants. Yet this dig nity which office confers can be no apology for transgression. Nebuchad nezzar and Ahab and Herod in tho day of Judgment must stand on tho level with the herdsmen that kept their flocks and the fishermen of Galilee. Pope and king and president and gov ernor must give an account to God, and be Judged by the same law as that which Judges the beggar and the slave. Sin is all the more obnoxious when it l imperial and lordly. You cannot make pride or Injustice or cruelty sa cred by giving it a throne. Belshazzar's decanters could not keep the mysterious finger from writing on the wall Ahab's sin literally hurled him from the tlirone to the dogs. The Imperial vestments of wicked Jehornm eould not keep Jehu's arrow from strik ing through his heart Jezebel's queenly pretension could not save her from being thrown over the wall. No barricade of thrones can arrest God's Justice in its unerring march. No plendoror thickness of official robes n be a sufficient cloak of sin. Henry VIII, Louis XV, Catharine of Russia, Mary of England did their crowns ve them? No ruler ever sat so high lhat the King of kings was not above him. All victors shall bow before him ho on the white horse goeth forth tonquering and to conquer. WUTKXKSS DOESN'T HIDE SIS FKOM GOD. Again, elegance of manners cannot Mccessfully hide Iniquity from the eye God. That model, gentlemanly postle, Paul, writes to us: "Be cour tous." That man can neither be a "spectacle worldling nor a consistent Christian who lacks good manners. H is shut out from refined circles and he certainly ought to be hindered from altering the church. We cannot over look that In a man which we could Wdly excuse In a bear. One of the jN eflectsof the grace of God upon j n individual is to make him a gentle ("ub. Gruffness, awkwardness, implac ability, clannishness are fruits of the .aevil, while gentleness and meekness ("e fruits of the Spirit But while these ! iUences of manner are so important : fi7 cannot hide any deformity of j ral character. How often it is that' j And attractiveness of person, suavi ?J of manners, gracefulness of conver- Xttfnn . 1 1 . . i i .1 ... ' . ., euJiunry oi oenavior uuuu wreaths upon moral death. The flowers that grow upon the. of Vesuvius do not make it any i Of a Volennn Tho ipnulchres in "t's time did not exhaust all the whitewash fiIw. l,i,.rroct uvntin- L jvu7 luo "hn ' Pels nave been mort fascinating. there are any depending on outwird pulness and attractiveness of t! pnor, with any hope that because of F1 God will forgive the sin of their let me assure them thai the divine M cannot be satisfied with smile p elegant gesticulation. Chri.4 looks J,"P tlian the skin, and such a rngyri j k as the one in which you are try H to cover yourself will be no hiding r tb dav of tiia nnrpr ( tod will not J Jadgment a-k how gracefully you ; nor how politely you bowed, j bow sweetly you smiled, nor how j . ..civ jou gesiureu. iuou- In the body will be the test, and , not the rules of Lord Chesterfield. rnurnssios DORS SOT MAKB A MAS GOOD. Again, let me say that the mere pro felonofHyonUbutapoorwmp. Pgof a naked soul. The importance of making a puhllo profession of rolig Ion if tho heart be renewed cannot be "W;tL Christ positively and h the earnestness of the night be fore his crucifixion commanded it But t Is the result of the Chritiwi charac ter, not the cause of It Our church certificate Is a poor title to heaven, we nmvliiiva the nam and m.tth ality. There are those who seem to throw themselves b;wk with compla cency Uxn their publio confession of Christ, although they give no signs of renewal. If Satan can induce a man to build on such a rotten foundation as that he has accomplished his object. We cannot Imagine the abhorrence with which God looks upon such a pro cedure. What would be the feelings of a shepherd if he saw a wolf In the same fold with his Hocks, however quiet tie might seem to lie, or a general If among his troops ho saw one wearing thappointed uniform who nevertheless really belonged to the opting host? Tims must the heavenly shepherd look upon those who, though they are not his sheep, have climbed up some other way, and thus must the Lord of hosts look upon those who pretend to be soldiers of tho cross while they are his armed enemies. If any of you find yours'ves deficient in the great tests of Christian character do not, I beg of you, look upon your profession of re ligion as anything consolatory. If you have taken your present position from a view tlmt you have of Christ and your need of him, rejoice with Joy un shakable and full of glory and clap your hands for gladness; but if you find yourself with nothing but the name of lifo while dead hi trespasses and sins, arouso before the door Is shut That gilded profession tlie world may not be able to see through It but in the day of divine reckoning it will be found tliat you have no cloak for your sin. OUTWARD MORALITY AND UIDDKJf IN IQUITY. Furthermore, outward morality will be no covering for the hidden iniquity of the spirit The .gospel of Christ makes no assault upon good works. They are as beautiful in God's eye. as In ours. Punctuality, trutlifulness, almsgiving, affection and many other excellences of life that might be men tioned will always be admired of God and man, but we take the position that good works cannot be the ground of our salvation. Wliat we do right can not pay for what we do wrong. Ad mit that you have ail those traits of character which give merely worldly resioctability and influence, you must at the same time acknowledge that during the course of your life you have done many things you ought not to have done. How are these difficult matters to be settled? Ah, my friends, we must have an atonement No Christ, no salvation. The great Re deemer comes in and says, ' 'I will pay your indebtedness." So that which was dark enough before is bright enou gh now. The stripes that we deserve are fallen upon Christ On his scourged and bleeding shoulders he carries us over the mountain of our sins and the hills of our Iniquities. Christ's good works accepted aro sufficient for us, but they who reject them depending upon their own must perish. Traits of character that may make us influential on earth will not neces sarily open to us the gate of heaven. The plank that will be strong enough for a house floor would not do for a ship's hulk. Mere morality might be enough here, but cannot take you through death's storm into heaven's harbor. Christ has announced for all ages, "I am the way, the truth and the lifo, him that cometh unto me I will In no wise cast out" But pitiable in the day of accounts will bo the condition of that man, though he may have given all his estate to benevolent purposes, and passed his life in the visiting of the distressed, and done much to excite the admiration of the good and the great If he have no intimate relation to Jesus Christ. There is a pride and a depravi ty in his soul that he has never discov ered. A brilliant outside will be no apology for a depraved inside. It is no theory of mine, but as announcement of God, who cannot lie. "By the deeds of the law shall no flesh living be Justi fied." Open the door of heaven and look in. Howard is there, but he did not secure his entrance by the dungeons he illumined and the lazzorettos into which he carried the medicines. Paul is there, but he did not earn his way in by the shipwrecks and imprisonments and scourging. , On a tlirone overtop ping perhaps all others, except Christ's, the old missionary exclaims, "By the grace of God I am what I am." SOCIAL POSITION A TRANSPARENT CLOAK. Again, exalted social position will be no cloak for sin. Men look through the wicket door of prisons and seeing the Incarcerated wretches exclaim, "Oh, how much vice there Is in the world!" And they pass through the degraded iteeets of a city and looking Into the doors of hovels and the dens of cor ruption they call them God forsaken abodes. But you might walk along the avenues through which the opulent roll in their flourisliing pomp and Into mansions elegantly adorned and find that even In the admired walks of life Satan works mischief and death. The first temptation Satan wrought in a garden, and he understands yet most thoroughly how to insinuate himself Into any dJt.r of ease and splendor. Men frequently Judge of sin by the places in which it is committed, but in iquity in satin is to God as loathsome as iniquity in rags, and in the day of lodgment the sins of Madison avenue j and Elm street will all be driven in one new. -"to for being respectably sinful You know Dives was clothed in purple and fine linen and fared sumptuously every day, but his fine clothes and good dinners did not save Lira. He imgn. on irui j have drunk something as rich as cnam-, pagne and cognac, but at hA he ae-ed . for one drop of water. You cannot trade off your attractive alodee hare for a house of maps man Bona on uiua, ana jour eWuut auaue groves here will not warrant you a seat under the tree of life. When God drove Adam and Eve out of Edeu lie showed tliat merely living in a garden of delight and comforU will never save a man or a woman. By giving you so much earthly luxury and refine nicnt he intimated that he would have you enjoy yourselves, but he would not have you wrap yourself up In them as a cloak to hide your sins. God now walks hi your garden as lie did in Eden, even in the cool of the day, and he stands by your well as he did by a well In Samaria, and he would make your comfort on earth a type of jour rapture In heaven. SOUND READS AND ROTTEN IIKAKTg. Furthermore, mere soundness of re ligious belief will not hide our iniqui ties. There are men whose heads aro as sound as Johnathan Edwards' or John Wesley's, whose hearts ore as rot ten as Tom Poine's or Charles Gui teau's. It Is important that we be the oretical Christians. It Is utter folly in tills day for a man to have no prefer ence for any one form of faith, when it Is so easy to become conversant with trio firh of Hia HifTomnt amt An In. toxieateU man staggered uito my house one night begging for lodging. He mado great pretentions to religion. I asked where he went to church. He said: "Nowhere; I belong to liberal Christianity." But there aro those who never become Christians because their obstinacy-preventii them from ever tak ing a fair view of what religion is. They are like a brute beast In the fact that their greatest strength lies in their bonis. They are combatant, and ail they are ever willing to do for their souls is to enter an ecclesiastical fight I have met men who would talk all day upon the ninth chapter of Hoi nans who were thoroughly helpless before the fourteenth chapter of John. But there are those who, having escaped from this condition, are now depending entirely upon their soundness of re ligious theory. The doctrines of mun's depravity and Christ's atonement and God's sovereignty eve theoretically re ceived by them. But alas I there they top. It is only the shell of Christiani ty, containing no evangelical life. They stand looking over into heaven and admire its beauty and Its song, and are so pleased with the looks from the outside that they cannot be Induced to enter. They could make a better argu ment for the truth than ten thousand Cliristians who have in their hearts re ceived it If syllogisms and dilemmas and sound propositions and logical de ductions could save their souls they would be among the best of Christians. They could correctly de fine repentance and faith and the atonement, while they have never felt one sorrow for sin nor ex ercised a moment's confidence in the great sacrifice. They are almost Immovable in their position. We can not present anything about the religion of Christ that they do not know. The Saviour described the fate of such a one in his parable: "And that servant which knew his Lord's will, and pre pared not himself, neither did accord ing to his will, shall be beaten with many Btripes." Theories in religion have a beauty of their own, but if they result in no warmth of Christian lifo it is the beauty of hornblende and feld spar. Do not call such coldness and hardness religion. The river of life never freezes over. Icicles never hang on the eaves of heaven. Soundness of intellectual belief is a beautiful cloak, well woven and well cut but In the hour when God shall demand our souls it will not of itself be sufficient to hide our iniquities. BETTER THAI) A CLO.iS. My friends, can it be tliat I have been unkind, and torn from you some hoie upon which you were resting for time and eternity? Verily, I would be un kind if, having taken away your cloak, I did not oiler you something better. Tliis is a cold world and you want something to wrap around your spirit Christ offers you a robe today. He wove it lu'mself, and he will now with his own hand prepare it Just to fit your soul. The righteousness he offers is like the coat he used to wear about Judea, without seam from top to bot tom. There is a day of doom. Cow ard would I be it I did not dare tell you this. It shall be a day of unutter able disappointment to those who have trusted in their official dignity, in their elegant manners, in their outward morality, in their soundness of Intellect ual belief. But I see a soul standing before God who once was thoroughly defiled. Vet look at him and you cannot find a sin gle transgression anywhere about him. How is this? you ask. Was lie not once a Sabbath breaker, a blasphemer, a robber, a perjurer, a thief, a mur derer? Yes, but Christ hath cleansed him. Christ hath lifted him up. Christ hath rent off his rags. Christ hath clothed him In a spotless robe of righteousness. That is the reason why you cannot see his former degradation. This glorious hope in Christ's name la proffered today. Wandering and way ward soul is not this salvation worth coming for, worth striving for? Do you wonder that so many with bitter weeping have besought it' and with a very enthusiasm of sorrow cried for divine compassion? Do you wonder at the earnestness of those who stand In pulpits beseecliing men to be recon ciled to God ? Nay, do you wonder at the Importunity of the Holy Ghost who now striveth with thy soul? In many of the palaces of Europe the wails are mosaic. Fragments of shells and glass are arranged by artist and aggregated Into a pictorial splendor. What 1 Made out of broken sneus ana broken glass? Oh, yes. God grant that by the transforming power of his spirit we may all be made a part of the eternal palaces, our broken and frag mentary nature polished and shaped and lifted up to make a part of the everlasting splendors of tlie heavenly temple 1 For linnm, Lord, tboo eam'at la btaai, And I'm a tinner til Indeed, tort. I brlim tbj frmn la trem; Ob, magnify thj grmem la ma, Mrs. Jayuiith "ttLat are you reading. Loo?" Miss Jsysmitb "Pope's poems, Ms." Mrs. Jsvsmith "Aretbey tb poemi of tbe present Pope or to Ustr-Judg.. HOW TOMMY SPENT THE FOURTH. 1' " I B a Tommy I'ints if j2,V A,' I. A l-uu.i.U. rr ssi J -J1 ah hi. u-..m .hum Iliitniull lid bank to I.X llliWAlii r... -.1 v' vomnulo buy, To Iuto Ji!t a htnity dory Tmio uim His Fourth' July. Bo, h'D Jairn.'.l tlx- wcWmp murniug. Tommy acil Lit xmrtuli' kid, "Nrotb a i'li rry tn-o Iok Hht litng iu cuna'.iltAtlnu IU I, And mlc!ilcvtu:!ly dcdihsl To Mt Arpviirki off, but whrra It would I I In' moot ronrt'iili nl To give full: urouud a tfarm Bnon tbr.y ipli'd Die nnintry panoa, A near tlKUUil, lauk divino, DrlriiifT down Hie Line a i.oldliig On bis mam by ulaekt-n'd lino; Cp they ilvlv ll.'lo brhiod blin. And beuwith hla wngon tot i torpedo off that tartrd Tb old man uin a trot a, ,1- . 'i r-iu mm Ooodnras prcclom! It wna iwfull How that old gray innrv did fro, Ilrnllrat of the dart led nation's Front lo ihouKof "Wlioo! Ihcrrvboal" At lli rustics iu tht'lr doorways "Vowed a worse sight Borer had Scandalized that old turnpike road I Was their parson going mad f" Tommy and bis comrade chuckled O'er the mischief they bad done Thought it w as a "how" beginuluf For a bully day of fuul Later on, of tricks unwearied, They a blj firecracker lit. Tied it on a stray Tom cat's tail, And the (eUua took a lit. In a field close by, a Dlddy Fresh from Erin's lovely isle. Bat milking a meek bovine, Ybcn like lightning o'er a stlla Leap'd the mudden'd Tom cat at her, All ablaze its furry tall. And upset tho fainting milkmaid, With her overflowing pail. TJnto Tommy's smiling mother Biddy rushed 'mid pentiv wall', And declared "she wud no longer Bbtay wbero cats have devils' tail?! Vain was coaxing to Main her, So to lunip!:invllla "goodby" Bade she, on that fated ev'niug Of tlie Fourth day of July. At the purple shades of twlllgbt Hovered soft and darkly nigh, And, thank Heav'nl at lost was ov. i Punk and powder-Fourth' July Wlckcd Tommy and bis comrade, With malicious unconsarn, Lit their final ''nigger cbnaur" In tbe bay loft of a barn. Both the culprits soon were rescue J From the barn of blazing hay, Then by Tommy's wrathful daddy, In a state of wild dismay. Kever more shall (II mi's or pennies Fill up Tommy's bank to buy fireworks if his daddy knows it On a future Fourth' July. ADELa LITTLE LAUGHS. The ones flourishing town of Bolltaint, In Arizona, it now entirely dewrtod. The man who named tlie town bullded better than be knew. N in-istowii UeniliL Mme, Pattl bus decided to learn to piny the banjo, and if at any time within the next two months a man with disheveled hair, a wild, haunted look in bit dark eyed, buttons miss ing from his pants and socks tlmt wear neg lected appearance, is found wandering aim lessly around solitary places In Europe, bis nam will probably be NicoliuL SL Paul Globe. A bright newsiapar woman In New York gained admission at a lumitlo to an Innuna asylum and remained there a couple of weeks taking notta, which the worked up into a graphio newspaper article, it Is ausiecUd that the deceived the physicians In charge by wearing a fashionable bustle at large as a flour barrel and having her hair banged within half an inch of ber eyebrows. Norris- town Herald. Natural gas is a great boon to the people of Pittsburg, but the people there mak light of it Norrurtown Herald. "I was in hopes, professor," laid a hospital under surgeon, "that I would bs given that leg operation In the poor ward." "No, I as signed it to Young Hawbonet, but I'll give yon a whack at tbe autopsy." The Epoch, It cost something to di respectably In Omaha. On tbe case inclosing the body of a man sent from then to Akron, 0., for burial. was tha following itemized bill, to be "col lected on delivery or contents returned. Undertaker's bill, t'!0; hospital expenx-t, 20; phytician's fee, $10: livery, 14 Tbe bill was paid, but the rest of the family will get back to Akron In tuna to die there, Ex change. Husband (suffering from influenza) Do yon know why id is, by dear, thad cods at wades addag be Id tbe head I Wife (thought fully) Why, I believe, John, physicians bold that colds ajwayt attack tb weakest spot Tb Epoch. A l'leaMUt lliua. "I bay spent a most delightful evening, Hits Breezy," remarked young Mr. Waldo, of Boston, who it In Chicago on business, "To a gentleman far away from horn an hour or two sueh as I have just poshed is peculiarly graUful and refreshing." "Thanks, a fully," responded Mia Breezy. As it it quit early," went on Mr. Waldo, "I would bs very glad if you and your mother would go with rue for a dish of ice cream." Thanks,", said tbe young lady brightly. "I presume mamma it agreeable, and as fur myself, Mr. Waldo, my mouth it always wide open (or that sort of thing." New York Sun. yeryTSwrormgingT "Do you think, doctor, we will bar tb cholera ber la New York this winter!" aaked an inquisitive man of a Ssw York health officer. "I have studied tb matter closely," replied tb oOdal with great deliberation, "and It Is toy opinion, from all I can gather, that If oar prtauit exemption from cnolara eot linnet (or six months we will not bar any Cfaoiara tola raar." Taxaa rWftiur. i v v y . ii rn'.n k i r IRENE ALSTROM. ObataelM She Surmounted In Bel' IWarcb After Know ledge. Accounts of the hunlshtpsand straff gles of tli is poor Finnish girl have touched many hearts. 1 liroiili marvel ous perseverance, unci meelinir every obstacle with linn unii cheerful heart, she has conquered all dilliculties, and now rejoices in the well earned honor of having been the first of her country women to receive a diploma as doctor of philosophy. ! When a young girl watching her i father's cattle she wiis tilled with veuruinga Unit sho could not express to know what books and study could touch her concerning tho wonders of science and tlie wisdom of tho post, , and then and there, upon tho bleak , mountain of her native land, she ilo- termined that nothing but death itself : should hinder her success. I Under the inlluence of dark clouds, I through which no ray of light gleam ' ej, she for a timo prnyed earnestly , that tho dear God would take her to : himself, feeling sure that then all knowledge would bo unfolded to ier. I This stule of atl'airs having reached the cars of a humblo pastor, interest was made for herentraiico into a good school, where she passed as fourth among forty -six young girls. She waa then IS years of njre, and all this had been accomplished through intense and earliest will. Bitting up all night, while others slent, to prepare for tho next day's tasks, often fusting, "save for the fresh snow alio ate as she walked," wd8 as nothing if so be she could con tinue hor work tho greot plun to which her soul clung tenaciously. Then camo an exiericnce of teach ing, and after huvingsaved fourpounds she again set forth in quest of knowl edge. "With tho scantiest of luggago," she journeyed on foot to llelsiugfors, where she prepared for her examina tions. Three pounds of her small store were paid in advance for lodging, and this made her sure of a home for the winter. The last pound wus expended in loaves of hard, round rye bread the cheapest kind of nourishment with which she could provide herself, and which was so methodically divided tliut every day until Christmas a bit was sure. No Ore had slio even when the temperature was recorded at 30 degrees. But her soul was ou lire, for a friendly professor gave her instruc tions in Latin, and very rapid was hor progress. After her matriculation she taught awhile to help her family, and still went on with her own studies, until "a well earned brilliunt degree" wus her reward. Strangely enough, hor greatest op position was from hor own sex, but bravely triumphing ovor even that, she was "recognized by hor nution as the dauntless pioneer of woman's prog ress. " Tho statement given concerning this wonderful womun adds that she still lives, honored and appreciated by all, devoting herself heartily to tho educa tion of younger brothers, and adding continually to her own hard earned culture, hor wholo soul bout on the ad vancement and cducatiou of hor coun try women. Harper's Bazar. Mistaken Iter Calling. "And what docs your hud ml do (or a livlnT asked Mrs. Chattcrwull during her first call on a new neighbor, "no's are porter." "A whatr "A newsjupor re porter; he goes about everywhere, lawus all tb news and takes it to tlie pnptv. "And do they pay (or that!" shrieked Mrs. Chatter well, ruling to hor foot In sheer aniozemcut. "Ye; ISO a month." "Oh, mercy on niel I've lout mor'a ai.OUO good money since I've lived in Talkertowul" (She males a straight rush (or the newxjuipor ofllce. Journalist, A Doubtful Accommodation, Browne's employer wo culling his atten tion to the solus of another traveling man, and intimating that be ought to try and do BS wc'.l. "I toll you what It Is," said Browne., "It's II in tbe territory a man bat to travel. Now any fool can sell goods in that territory." "Well," replied the merchant, thoughtful ly, "I think I will start you out on that rout next month." Merchant Traveler. A 11 1 lit to Hoarder. Btout Man (whose apjietit had been the nvy o( hit follow boarder) I doclarol I nave lost throe buttons off my vest I Mistreat of the House (who had been aching to give him a bint) You will probably tiud them in the dining room, sir. Judge. Business Very Unlet. Lady (to drug c lurk) A two cent stamp, please. Clerk (absent minded) Yes, madam. Will you take it with you or have It sent! Har per's Bazar. Information. Helen Mamma, what Is casus belli f Mother My child, never speak of any thing so IndeUraU. It is tbe Latin (of I stomach ache. Lifo. t Urn Traveled In Style. Employer (to commercial traveler) Good morning, Mr. Bmitb; home again, ebl" Commercial Traveler Ye; struck town but night on tb 7 o'clock run from Boston. Employer Why, I came over from Boston on that train. Btrange, I didnt tea you." Commercial Traveler Did you take par lor carl Employer If o, certainly not Commercial Traveler Wsll, that's tb reason you didnt see me. Tb Epoch, Kw fork's Money Market, Kew York Speculator Did yon take than Mud Bun watered stock tenth mortgage bonds to tha bank I Clerk yes, sir; took half a bushel around this morning. "Did they agre to let me havi 'JO,000 on themf" "No, air; they said they wouldn't givt over half a cent a pound for 'em. "By Jinks! Money must b fearfully tight," Omah World. Ladies' cooking schools are the rape all over England, at tuition prices of from t0 to 100 per twenty lessons, according to the grade of cooking which the pupil desires to learn. In Scotland the craze lias amumed a popu lar form and lemon are given by the dozen a low a fifty cents to one dollar. r WITCHES IN THE SOUTH. Dire lluvoo llrlleved to Ilav Been Caused by Tlient Among Coo Dogs. In Wayne county, of which Golds boro, N. C., is the county seat, muny of the inhabitant believe in witchcraft. The Caroliuas, Georgia, Alabama and other southern slates abound in so called "witch doctors," who will euro your ails and kill the witch that is troubling you. clonic of tin-so doctors actually believe in tlio rviii,il existence of witchos and in ' their supernatural power, but many of Hi. tti nt-i frniiild. u-lm nmbtt a liviiur bv ! iiniositi on the credulity of thuir neigh bors. Tho negro race Is naturally supersti tions, but tho poor white "cracker" are also ignorant, and for believing in sjMMiks, spirits, hobgoblins and other natural phenomena they can give the colored man cards, NjKides anil aces, and then beat him. The. cracker is worse than the colored man, because he fondly Imiitfiniw tlmt ho is so much shrewder, and so ho does not uo what brains he has, nor does lie try to learn anything. Ho 1ms tlioUMimls of signs, omens, cures and beliefs that are a continual source of annoyance to him, and perpetually keep' him in a stato of dread. The sim plest incident is one of sinister and oc cult meauintf to him, and he is ever in a tremor lest ill luck and misfortune over take him. The evil influences manifest them selves iu various ways, ami each one seems worse than tho other. His gun occasionally hangs tire and refuses to "go off" properly, and at times is so badly deranged that it cannot be dis charged at all. At other times his fa vorite coon dog is bewitched by some evil minded and envious person, and then tho woo of the cracker is something painful to witness. If his gun were not bewitched, why could he not kill a squir rel with it? And why should his dog re fuse to hunt coons, when to hunt coons was his business? These are questions that he can answer only by assuming that a witch has been influencing him and his property. Ho employs a witch doctor, to whom he pours out his tale of woe mid yields up his hard earned cash. The doctor care little for tho woo, but the cash is grateful and exhilarating. The doctor is sanguine, and declares that he has a method of killing that is strictly original, copyrighted, and warranto1 to be effec tual. In ono case that I came across the doc tor learned tliat an old woman living several miles away was the suspected party, and ho commenced a campaign against her. Ho told tlio victim to go to bur house some night and stretch a white cotton string around the building and tie the ends together with a "weav er's knot." Then he was to walk around tlie house seven times each way, recite a givon sentence in front of each door while making mysterious marks on it, and the cure would be completed. The directions wore followed, and, I am happy to say, were effectual, as tho next hunt resulted in the death of three coons. Another time a small powder was given, which must be swallowed by the witch without her knowing it. The old lady was invited to dinner, the powder pluced in her cup of coffee, and the cure was as complete as could be desired. Philadelphia Times. Why Men Wear Long Hair. The ancient Britons, like the Gauls, wore long, bushy hair, beard and mus tache. The Romanized Britons shaved their faces and adopted the shorter hair of their conquerors. Tho Saxons, accord ing to Plane he, are generally represented with long hair parted in front, forked boards mid mustaches; but in the Tenth and Eleventh centuries, with the excep tion of old men, thoy appear to have cropped their hx'ks and shaved their chins, preserving only their mustaches. Longhair was a distinguishing char acteristic of the Teutonic tribes. It was a mark of tho highest rank among the Franks, none of whom, save princes of the blood and nobility, were permitted to wear it in flowing ringluts; an exjiress luw commanded the commonalty to cut their hair close round the middle of the forehead. The beard was also held in the greatest reverence by them, and to touch it stood in lieu of a solemn oath. Dry Goods Chronicle. New Words. A notable attempt has been made to add to the resources of the English lan guage. Lord Bury, as chairman of the Electrio Traction company, wrote to The Times to ask for a short word if possi ble of one syllable to expross the idea of being conveyed by electrio power. As might huve been expected, letter after letter poured in, full of strange and won derful suggestions. The following are only a few of the cacophonous verbs which scientific and unscientific writers alike submitted for consideration: To "ohm," to "volt," to "mote," to "elec trise," to "coulomb," to "squirm," to "shock," to "franklin," to "scint," to "elk," to "trictrac," to "faradate," to "webor." There is clearly no lack of choice; perhftps America will help us, as it did with the verb to "wire." Mur ray's Magazine. Mr. Depew Afraid of ThlrUeo. Chaunccy M. Depew says he would not sit down with thirteen at table. "Three times in my life have I been one of a din ner party of thirteen. On each occasion one passed the joke to another that h or she would be the victim. In, every instance one of the guests died within the year. So, in my experience, the truth of tho adadge was proven." San Francisco Argonaut Ladies and gentlemen should always keep step wl m walking together. This is very simp t and easily done and looks well. The g. utleman must always adapt his step to tliat of the lady. To shamble along hit or miss is exceedingly ungrace ful The completed tunnel between Sarnia and Port lira on will be over one mile in Wmgth, 2,310 foot being nndor the river, 1,810 feet mider dry ground on the Mich igan side and about J.000 feet on tha Canadian am a uu First Art Critic (at an xhlbltlon) Great Bcottl Second J-rt Critic I should say to. "IIow nndor tb tun ar w to get np our critlqneaP '1 dont know. There Is no way to dis tinguish good paintings (mm bad." "Nona at all Tber Isn't a tingle prlet mark In tb wholo catologua. "Omaha World. A Practical Saggottlo. - Beggar rieaas, air, givt poor man torn assistance, Gent 1 nothing for yon. Beggar You might subscribe on th in stallment plan, and pay over tit first install mnt now and th next on the first of tb soooth. Then vou wouldn't feel tt much,- HOW SEEDS ARE TESTED. On of th Itranrhes of Work of th Agrt eullurnl Department. A correspondent of tbe St Louis Globe-Democrat writing from Washing ton and detailing the work Jt the Agri cultural Department In sending out seeds, says: All the seeds sre tested before boing sent out and the way in which it Is done is very curious indeed. Shallow t n puns half full of water sre employed, and across these, parallel, are laid thick wires in pairs. Each two wires have a strip of muslin sewn be tween them, so that when they sre laid together across tho pan, a fold two inches deep hangs Into the water. In this fold all along from one side of the pan to tho other sood sre put and the water, rising by capillary attraction, soaks tho muslin and causes the seeds to germinate The forming roots poke their way In every direction through the muslin, and the plants grow famous ly. One tin pan two feet long will hold a wonderful number of sprouts, and it Is a simplo matter to count and find out what porcentngo of those put In germi nate, ono fold of muslin being devoted to each kind of seeds. Any seeds that do not prove entirely satisfactory are sent to the gardener of the department to be tried In earth. Thus Uncle 8am Is able to guarantee all the seeds he distributes. The tin-pan Idea Is a now one. The tin pins are at tended to altogether by a pretty en thusiast In petticoats, who thinks it great fun to have a whole botanical garden within half a dozen square feet of room. She does the whole business on a window ledge, and simply In tha water that way she has grown beans big enough to eat And she ate them. Try it for yourself. Use a good-sized tin pan from the kitchen and fix wires snd muslin in the way described. Write to the departmont for the seeds yon wsnt snd yon sre all ready to go into busi ness. Own your own kitchen garden) every oity family should have one on the window ledge. Flowers will do as welL Two-thirds of the 8100,000 worth of soeds go to Congress, each member of which gets about 5,000 envelopesof them yearly. Usually the-'department sends them off under Instructions from tbe Congressmen. Theromalnlngooe-thlrd is distributed by the department as it sees fit Its genoroslty is often abused, for peoplo sometimes send ss many as a dozen times for seed in one yesr. As a rule, they get them, for it is the policy of the department to be very amiable snd conciliate every body. A CANNI8AU FAMILY. On Indians Who Tear lleef te Piece and Eat It Practically Haw. The sdvertisementoolumnof the Lon don newspapers have recently an nouncod that nine oannibals from Terra del Fucgo would be fod three times a day in vtow of the audience at tbe Aquarium. At two, six and ton o'clock the spectators have enjoyed the privilege of seeing those, specimens of sn extraordinary typo of American savage heat their beof and fish over a fire snd then tear tha flesh to pieces with their fingers and dovour It praotloally raw. The family of Ona Indians are th only representatives of their large tr.b that have ever been taken from tbslr homos. Many years ago some natives from the south coast Were taken to En gland and received there a rudimentary education. Hut the On as, who ar proad ovor more than four-fifths of the great island, have been almost unknown until tho recent discoveries of Lists and Popper; and the mountain ranges that parallel tho south and west coasts hay been a barrior which the natives on either side have nover tried to cross. Tho family now in London includes a woman about fifty years old, ber son, a tall and not bad looking specimen of bis race, hlu two wives and their five cblldron, ranging In age from one to ninoteon yeirs. Tbe tblng about tha Onas which most stimulates scientlflo interest snd populsrouriosity Is the fact that they aro regarded by some author ities ss the lowest stratum of civilized humanity that has yet been discovered. Many years ago Darwin Inclined to the ballot that In tha race he met in Beagle Canal he bad found the missing link in tbe obaln of evolution. In his last year he was of the opinion that the data ha gathored In Torra del Fuega wer too moagor for valuable deductions, snd It Is certain that bad he extended his re searches north of the mountains ha would have found a tribe that was even lowor in the scalo of being than the sav ages be saw and doscrlbod. This fumlly now in London seems to possess the most limited vocabulary. Llsta said be could not learn that tha Onas have any words except those re lating to hunting and fishing snd tha few natural objects that Interest them. Popper could never get them to speak except In monosyllables, and they sel dom made themselves Intelligible. It is probable that tholrvocabularly does not embrace more than 300 or 800 words. Chicago Herald. ' - Bepubllslied by "Oar" lUqaott An editor of a country paper having bees Invited to a picnic on a day when his papor bad to go to press, called th boy who let tb type and said: "Tom, I'm going away today and haven't tifue to get out any n or copy. Take my article headed 'Party Organization' and run it in again, putting over it 'Repub lished by request' That will SS.VI considera ble time and you can go to press at once." When th editor returned from tb pkmie and took up a copy of bit paper he became justly indignant upon reading tbe following! "Party Organization. Republished by re quest of the editor." Arkansaw Traveler. It Wasn't. He tat on the curbstone In front of tb city hall, in th full glare of tb noonday tun, with tb thermometer teeming to mark 400 degrees. A pedestrian, who carried an um brella In one band and a handkerchief In th other, thought to J"k hint a little, and calked out! "Wall, it thit hot anongb for your "Ho, tir," wat th prompt reply. Good lands) but why not!" "Because I've got th Canady ager, and thit I Just tb tiro for my ebilL Bay, la tber any hotter place than thit in Detroit Detroit Free Pre. Th Soma Old Bojr. fcrw to austaJs froil dnadlr pond ' Th urchin ma doth urje aim. And In the guls of Adam b Doth hi toe same submar) him. And wben wilh killlet la bit asir He seeks lac cottar bower, Tbe little nctionMt assert Tvat but a p easing shower. -oi.'rs Gaattla. Th Prodigal Son. Prodigal Bon Father, I bar spent my mbatanc and hav arisen and returned to the, Practical Father What did you spend all that money onl "Amateur photography." "till th fitted calf and tend It to th nearest idiot asylum. Mv ton will din ther to-morrow." Omaha World.