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About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (May 31, 1890)
POEMS VERSUS PEANUTS. .!7nu on Sunday. 0 iwtnei n drawn out, J?VJ. nit through middle, hoary Sphinx's riddle. ..wry FT. then taciturn, (TBW MtM h. .court (hi i country through . J?SlW tfth. truth were told, "."M'.hlm Mondays. r .De Witt a Lookwood. in Century. A CCM)F COFFEE ., Obnoxious Personatres An B8 . A In TWlrOTT ruffes in Turkey u not, as with us, a w la,in article of ordinary '.mntlon: it is ona of the institu- ..the country; and ft very much 'JVW " . . .Ii.il i ..-i Uiitllntlnn (hin nAponnl , lmnorianv l"--"-"" . r ... ...1ai1 In thn Turkish ;"i, ran possibly imagine. . - I kniiajilinM IIBA Anffna T-u like to the Moslems and to the tffelou mixture of racoa that inhabit headquarters of Islam the worlds center, geographically and ,-Hologlcally-the prlnoipal means of ;Vd dMpation for all classes. Hn Moslem is wo ""P1" " j; (11 ia"-""'"l "1 " - ildea by De Kortn; and none but a 'ttof the higher olass Turks, In large tltilllie Constantinople, Smyrna and 'iloBlca, whose contaot with Eur peani jH destroyed ineir inuor mm ju tug Toptet, and maue mum prauueauj Unrh not avowoaiy inuueis, oyer Lta of breaking through the prohlbi R . . ...... bm the day s worn la none, a mug lAls-tonped table on the edge of the tlfKilk, a tiny oup of coffee, and a UyMior "buubie-Duuie" line r.asi. bn pipe) are an ins mo rwinsi x ur- i jwbant or tne pooresi mimw iUMt-oorter) needs to pass the time, u tn elevate blm Into tbe seventh ,tea of indolont aaa serene enjoy- Wat i wonderfully striking spectacle can L lifted on any dm summer Sunday vmoon, from the deok oi one or tbe lusenier stoamers mat piy up ana I T t i i . - r-iA- - m ua liospuorus, uebwocu uiimui ui aurland Tbesopla, Buyukdere and lint Almost every torraoe and mot vantage on these lovely shores to literally covered ana carpe'ea who leeminz population oi Lonstantlno- : ill quiutly enjoying themselves, U it his or herilttle table, overln' iteslmally small cups of coffee nines or cigarettes, in the of the Greek and Armenl- ladies, who are the moat serous representatives oi molt li Tbe beauty of the scene is en' iiod by the fact that tbe ladlos dress, tbe most part, In silks or the bright hues, tbe Turkish ladies, when out loon, mostly in a silken wrapper ol t one color ceriso, mauve or crimson .he broad masses of color thus produo- i most artisiio effect. On a holiday, short-sighted observer would imagine iit tbe banks of the Bosphorus, la mtelres bright enough at intervals .h treat thlckots of roses, trailing useiof liou"ainvillias and other daz- ifcreepcrs, wore laid out in contln- par'ierres of tbe most brilliant "en-the flowers being, as a matte i tact, very human indeed. Thore is nc rse-pliy going on; no noise but an oo- Uonil unobtrusive trio of violins. iilolint or zithers, or their Turkish iiralents; and hardly any movement ill tbe hour for retirement arrives. is, Greeks, Albanians, Armenians i Jews aro all content to while away Itilternoon, seated in passive en joy- fat, without any excitement or ooou- on beyond sipping their ooffoe. like beverago if I may so designate fiml-Ouid of somewhat denser con Mcy than the richest cream alsc pjsan aiispensable part in the cere- "", prlvato, dlplomatio or publlot W nowhere in the world is every de floi ceromonial more strictly ob pd than amonir the Turks, even Mot whom is one of nature's trentle- f whatever his shortcomings may Mlt of ceremony, be It to a me ft or to a pasha, is incomplete with the coffee. Sweets, often a lam in Sclo, of orange or lemon omj, or of rose-leaves, are cennral- -tnded round, and no little dexterity hlired to gracefully lodge a spoon- wer i heavy mustache (the at ?l always loft me in a lamentabls ' l Itickv miser!! f la iven or withheld, the coffee la I'ur.gueur. And it can not be I - -..u, murvai Quense. Jl-fo; I Turkish rnntlnmnn wmiM -"lose his illfe than be guilty oi t etiquette to utilize coffee 'BOSt IfflDortant fnnnt.lnn In tha M economy of Turkey. It is not Za 7 tbat U bM manT Ume "Ft nd will manv timAA mtrftin ln Jl the destinies of the entire Em fttdof the East P'f coffee U 1 Fl as the means of administering ind poison is the ultima ratio .'""an statecraft More so now !'!' ,ormr times, since the praotical Of the death Mn.lt. h tha NSulUn. ' J ' Heath penalty has not, it is true. rh uiscaraeo, out ltisim- Pto get the reigning Sultan to - u execution. The storygoel f the loss of his own life if he .,KU m aeaiQ-warrant land lawlessness have, oi increased to auch an alarm atthatl hesr the Sultan baa .-'Sanctioned the trial by court- r- no eummary execution of I taken In arms: but when I waa lne aruples of his Imperial MroTe officials charged with the J of particularly formidable to the surreptitious adop i I. in?enlo,, but nnrecog rM ,or tt9 disposal ol 'e prisoner.. An escort, eon- reroui brliranda to a. dlaUnt T-bi . vvwuMunany betitv "ed baving in euine way -iaf tk Tml 10 disembarrass them- th lpnt The story usual 'Wbad attempted an - a ",7 "n hot or pitched over r '-d'fenset We all know that good till another U told;" any one to tell that ; , w 9a, liw uiuir k0nTenient qnesUons were tj,.1,'Jiti8, taciUy adopted, - w ins uiu:scjon eoncerned, exceptiig the tiaally deserrlng of muoh 1 commiseration. Excepting soma nitx i. ti..j-- who w.foun4 Iront of the landlng.j,Uc. c.foT one fn?h n'f ,b;r,ly tan tty f ZTx. . . aD0' PromPtly dispoied of without reference to Constantinople. in, t.b , . ,ny XPC'tlon hav ing taken place in Turkey alno th. banging of Hassan Bey, the mad officer whoran amuck. Malay fashion, among the ministers of atate in the palace yard. J o was very speedily and un ceremoniously suspended to a lamp post on the stamboul bridge over th. tttl , fetJbef did not eve. ....,B , WM bl f eye-witnesses told me that tha atance that attracted tbe most general attention was tho preposteroua length of his tongue, which protruded from bit uui ana atiftened so protruding, after r.n . .. 8 .u.uu ui aume oi tne gro tesque gargoyles that adorn earlj In the event then, of tha "m..n of any publlo personage being deemed by the Sultan's advisers a matter ol atate exigency, a cup of toffet obviates ... u.-emuv xor scandal, and all occa sion for the possible txmular .yi,a. mnt-to say nothing of European oritlclsm -that would be provoked by an execution, public or private, In due course oi taw or by order of the Sultan. A prominent statesman dies suddonlj or after a abort and unaccountable ill ess; and you hear his friend, i..,!,. ing under their breath, that the pacha hail ''talr.M - .... a ... vup ui couee. Tho poisons used vary acoordlng tc tho importance of the case, and the need for concealmontor tbe reverse. No groat skill is required if the party to be "removed" be oomDarntll n. known, or if no reasons exist for avoid ing au Immediate denouement But In tne case or a personage possibly of Eu ropean colebrlty, the cause must not be too rapidly followed by, or too clearly connected with, the effect Some of tht eunuchs of tho palace are credited wltl the secret of a drug (the knowledw very probably brought by them from Africa, whence they were purchased as siaves), oiten used in cases of impor tance, the catastrophe produced by which does not come to pass for a couple of months after the fatal cup of ootTof has been tendered and swallowed. II was thus that was cempassed the death of Mldhat Pasha, tbe able and honest but too hasty and inconsiderate reform er. who gave Turkey her first brief Par llament vory soon and very right! suppressed by the Sultan as totally un fitted to the circumstances of the Em pire and incompatible with the prlnoi pies of Ottoman government Not long before his death, poor Mid hat, a most estimable and pleas twit Turk, and, like "Arabl th Egyptian," a true patriot wrote fron his exile in Syria to a friend of mine al Constantinople, mentioning the setting in of the rapidly-lnoreaslng corpulonoe which is an unmistakable symptom thai tills drug Is at work, and saying that he know be had but a few weeks to live. Tbe Turk novor indulgos in unseeml struggles against kUmet (fate); his des tiny is always accepted with the most exomplary resignation. From the com mencement of bis exile it waa a mattei of notirioty that the "oup of coffee' would be givon, sooner or later; so tha' bis many friends took it as a matter ol course when the end came. None of tht European powers, whose light and lead ing he strove to follow, Interfered to gel the place of exile of their fallon dlsolpli changed to Europe and to comparative safety. After all, half a oontury earlier, socomploto apolitical downfall as was his would inovitahly have entailed hit bring bow-strung or beheaded; so thai tbe Turks must not be too harshl; judged for the shifts and expedients U which the daily increasing force of pub llo opinion has driven them. While my yacht waslying off Smyrna, in 1SS7, 1 took advantage of the oppor tunity to travol in tho interior of Asia Minor, in tho old kingdom of Croesus, passing close to the tomb of his father, Alyaltes. On my way overland to Sar dis I visited the city of Manissa, the ancient Magnesia, onoe the cradle and the capital of the Ottoman Turks. On paying my respocts to the Gov ernor, since promoted to the Governor ship of Trebizond, I found mysolf very courteously received by no less remark able a personage than at once the vlg orlous prlnoipal polltloal opponent of Mldhat Pasha and the presiding judge at his trial, probably also the actual contriver of his final disappearance from this world's shifting stago. Evidontly a man of first-rate ability, crafty and astute far beyond the average even ol orientals, steeped as they are from the cradle in dissimulation, he gave me the idea of an onemy to be dreaded, no mat ter how long he might have to bide bis time a foe "not to be denied," as "the fancy" say of a fighting bull-terrier. However, I felt perfectly safe in the consciousness of my own insignificance, and had no fear or hesitation in com plying as gracefully as in me lay, which I remember was precious awkwardly) with the customary formalities of Turk ish reception etiquette. So, before bowing my farewell, I duly swallowed the proffered painfully sticky preserve except what remained pend ant to my mustache and, without ques tion or scruple, took from the delioate filigree stand in which it was served, m ay be by the same 11 ngers that prepared Mldhat's draught of doom who can say? a very satisfactory and refreshing cup of coffee. -Captain F. S. Dugmore, in N. Y. Ledger. A FrMichmaiTi Novrl Vocation. . i-i I n.lrtnir hia A new ceirur .j i '-- i-r ance along the boulevards. He is a well dressed, Intelligent-looking youth. He .. ha ismrvi of the prln- MIIUK'U vuS 1"'J oipal cafes, scanning the faces of the eonsommateurs unui no caw-m . . . i lffin- his one that stnues ma iu-j. - politely, he thus accosts the gentle v.. .inrlo nut: "Will mon- hat man ue u v. i onnnirh to ask me any man question he pleases relating to the his tory of France, from the time of Phara mond down to Napoleon III-? lew tell . . v hniir nf the monsieur tne aay, V,.," birth, marriage or death of any historic al personage." In nine cases out oi vd . .. ,r haa SO wel this wanting . . chosen his man that monsieur, thus ad dressed, puts him a number of questions, all of which are answered correctly mm instantly, to the astonishment of tb persons around and to the profit of th inventor of this Wel method of ean. inc s livelihood Paris Letter. One of the '.nuraging Mat ure, of the great oe.. M melons la the growing tJ1" among medical and other . t.dU l this and other countries. Fifty )ars .go medical missionaries wer riJ unheard of; now. ml onarj r oclt, .itbout it. medics! mi-io" .e. scarcely, bj foui-Und.. arj.titm. WOMAN'S WINNING WAYS. Bow Mra. Stlnaoa Coagnarad Ona nf B Hatbaad't Impatlant Cra lllora. "Say. boys, am I wfirT said Tommy Magruder, as he sat down in Seven's engine-house on Tueday nigbt "Well, there ain't any body around these corners that would dare to tell you so, Tom my," ald thedrlver. "Why. what's catln' you now? You look sail you wasn't feeling a bit happy, but you "Well, I was befflnnln to think I gettln aoft and you'll aay I am after 1 tell you about my trip to-day. I've been collecting, or trvln' to collect, to-da. and I don't think I'm sny good at tha businosa. John Stlnson borrowed forty dollars of me two years ago, and I've uueu gown- it back In promisee ever alnce. He pays installments of wind evory month or two. and thafa all I t Now, John's a pretty good follow, but lately I have been gettln a leet1 sore on him about them scads, and the more I thought of it the maddor I got On atonuay night I went to bed mad about it and swore I'd go up to hla house and nail him for the amount In the morning. I was afraid I wouldn't stay mad enough ovor night if I slept in a good bed, so 1 kept my clothes on and slept on a hair-cloth loungo, and got up mai dor than I was when I went to bed. I went without my coffee to keep mad and left my tobacco at home. I was afraid to go up on the train for fear of loslu' my mad, so I walked out to hia place, two miles over the first mount ain, and I didn't take a single nip on the way. Ohl I was bound to stay mad clean through, and I was billng when I reached his farm and knocked at his door. Mrs. Stinson came to tho door, and tho moment she opened ltshe began U smile, and, puttin' out both hands, she said: "Why, Mr. Magruderl Well, this is a surprlso, and a pleasant one. You'm quite the stranger. I am glad to see you!" " 'Where's your old man?" says I as gruff as I could, eeeln'a I was talkln' to a lady. '"Oh, John,' she says. 'He's trone down to the store and will bo back soon. Why don't you come in? You suroly ain't goln' away without oomln' in?' "noil, I felt my mad goln' then; but wouldn't let it go, and I answered her savago-llke. 'I come up to talk turkey with John,' says I, and that's as far as I got when she pulled me in and slammed the door. 'Now, see here, Tommy,' she says, with her sweetest smile, 'I ain't goln' to let you go back till after dinner. The idoa of coming way up bore and not coming into the house. You ought to bo ashamed of yourself;' and then she talked about the folks and acted so aweet and ploasant that I forgot all about being mad until saw John coming through the gate. Then I got glum again, but Lordy, it wasn't any good, for he waa jast ss hearty as she was, and they pllod It on so tbiclc that I didn t get a chance to say what I came up to say. They were so blamed glad to soe mo, and so press! n that I didn't have the heart to kick, and the consequonoe was i sat down to dinnor. They had country sausages, and I couldn't holp saying that they was good. With that Mrs. Stlnson said: Oh, do you like them? Well, I've just mado a lot, and I will give you some to take homo with you. Don't say no. You've got to take them. No, you ain't robbing me; I made too many of them, and I want you take a bottle of my catsup, too,' and blamed if that woman didn't wboodlo me into taking a big packago of sausage, and a bottle of catsup, and going out of the bouse without asking for that money. I couldn't do it you know, after thorn being so good, and as I was going away tbey walkod to the gate with me and gave me good send off, telling me to be sure and come np again soon. I walked down the street about half a mllo, gettin' maddor and maddor at every stop, and looked at the packago of aausagos and catsup. Forty dollars,' aaya I to the pack age, and then I chucked it as far as I could, and heard the bottle smash against a rock in the field. That'a how mad I was at myself then, and I ain't got over it yet I don't care what you fellows say. but I am aoft and there la no wlolntr It out" N. Y. Sun. WOMEN'S STRAW HATS. When the Material For tb Olory of tha t rmlnine toiim vom r ram. The glory of a woman's toilet la her bat To her it is dearer and of more concern than even the fold, the texture, thn mt and the make of her robe. Her hat is the cynosure of the eyes of all ber female acquaintances, tne attractive point which brings the gaze and criti cism of her gentlewomen friends Curiously enough, however, there la nothing about her dress that is more of a mystery to her. From the tip of ber nloely-flttlng shoes to the top of her woii.ahaned hat the best informed woman of the world knowa more about every article that goes to make up her toilet than she does about the headgear which, next to a woman's hair, is her true glory. Of course every woman la nt tha texture of a felt bat but .... vwa - - thla article is intended to solve the mys tery surrounding straw nats. What are women a straw nats maue oir It aoem. a simple question and yet It Is not one that the ordinary womaa can well and truly answer. The braids are all imported; many from tnina. ii i mitktt, in tell a vountr lady that the hat she wore was made of straw from the plantation of the Emperor of thlna, 1 doubt if she would believe me. and yot it is so. Some of this braid is caned Neapolitan and is wide and coarse, I be nt m-hat la knomn as Neapolitan pear-ledge Is found in Chu Foa It grows tall and tbe top is nne ana mo wnwu miriA. one sulk thus giving two or more kinds of braid. Venetian grows tsll and ia the opposite ol aeaponian pear-ledge, whose base is coarse. The of the eneuan ia cm auu called mottled braid. The center is somewhat finer, and of tbe staiits wnicn aataak nearest tbe ground is made me nne Venetian hrahl-ChJcago Tribune. 'A "tough" bird-the Jay. A cheat Ing bird-tbe gulL A boasting bird tbe crow. A dishonest blrd-the robin. A rude blrd-the mocking bird. An untruthful blrd-the lyre bird. A low spirited blrd-the blue bird. A "cabi net" bird-the secretary bird. The village of Dafla, on the island of Lesbos, has a woman said to be 136 years old who still has the complete use of all her senses. The same Island con tains three other inhabitants who are aaid to have passed their hundredth birthday-Ismail Apa, 110 year, old; Efcalll Apa, U bis M Ascbil Babe, sged 111 All three of tbeM centenarians, it U Mid, earn ta.l UvlSl-bidai'.twjrJu. MARRIED AT MIDNIGHT. Bisk-Bora Encllsh Doka's Eitraordl. ary Waddla Kla. The Russlana make some very roman ce marriages. Peter the Great took onto himself a servant maid, and In our own days two Imperial Grand Duke, (one of them was the Grand Duke Con atantlne) renounced all right of succes sion to tbe throne to marry a French governess. But the despotic will of the Czar makes It rather difficult for subjects to Indulge in such vagaries, and En gland la, after all, par exoelenoe, the country of runaway matches Think how for hundreds of years tbe Infamous marriages at the prison of the Fleet the Ring's Bench prison, the mint the Savoy and the chapel in Mayfalr flour ished, and how hard it was to abolish them, such men as Charles James Fox opposing their suppression. He had a kindly feeling for (hem, and well be might, for his own falher bad Wn mar ried there. And tho high-born Duke of Hamilton, whose proud house looks with disdain on (itielphs. regarding them as lowly interloper, marrying one of tho beautiful Miss Gunnings, those famous Irish sisters that took the town by storm, In the Mayfalr Chapel at mid night with a ring of a bed-curtain! ltesant and Hloe'a charming novel, "Tho Chaplain of the Floet" has described so vividly the peculiarities ol these strnnge weddings that we refrain from dwelling any longer on Fleet mar riages, lest we might be repeating a twico-told tale; but it will be news to many of our readers to learn that Gretna Green was in full force till 1W, when the now marriage law reluctant ly enough granted, canio into effect re quiring English men and women to reside six weeks in Scotland before be ing able to contract a legal marriage tn that country bereft it of its aneient glories. Hither, in October, 1818, came rattling up the great North Country roads that brilliant legal luminary, Lord Ersklno, Lord Chancelor of England. Did he aver, when seated in great dignity on the "woolsack," recall that wild gallop and wilder escapade? His signature scratched with a diamond Is still to be seen on .a window of the old "Queen's Head Inn," at Gretna, and a copy of the certificate Is hung up in tho room in which he was married. Lord Eldon, In his twenty-first year, a penniless barrister, with brains a plenty and briefs but few, eloped with Miss Surtroes, of Newcastle He, as well as Lord Brougham, bis successor in the Chancelorshlp of England-truly, a frisky trio of Lord Cbancelors patron ized Coldstream on the eastern border. But great names of far moro recent date aro to be found on these curious border registers. Foreign Prlnoes, English Earls, innumerable Baronets, etc,, etc. In 1813 Lady Adola Vllllnrs, youngost daughter of tho Earl of Jersey, whoso lister was married to "Prlnoe Nicholas Esterbazy, the Hungarian magnate," Hoped with Captain Ibbetson, following the examplo of ber grandmother, tho only daughter of a rioh Mr. Child, tho banker, who, in 17!M, went oil with Lord Jlurghersh, afterward tenth Earl of Westmoreland. Thore may be seen the signature of Lady Florence Pagot daughter of the Marquis of Anglesey, the handsomest woman in England, and the last Mar quis of Hastings, uncle of Lady Flora Hastings, the late Duchess of Norfolk. Tho lady was betrothed to Mr. Chaplin, the present Minister of Agriculture, the richest commoner In England. She and her fiance went into a great Lon don jewelry houso to have her finger measure! for the wedding ring. The "shop" had another entrance at tho back, on adifferent street; this entrance was shut off from the main part of tho store by a kind of parlor. Excusing herself on some pretext or other, and asking Mr. Chaplin to await her return, the fair fiance went into the parlor and out through tbe other door where a carriago and four and the Mar quis of Hastings wore waiting for her, and thoy wore well on their way to the border before the trick was dlsoovored. N. Y. Mercury and Journal. REL!GIOUSAND EDUCATIONAL. Tho Bible has been translated Into sixty-six of the languages and dialect of Africa. One-half the population of Japan is In the southern cart but the most of the missionary work has been dono In the northern-central portions of the empire. Tho first missionary arrived in Corea In 1HS4; tho first convert waa baptized In 1P8A. Now there are more than 100 Christians In the country. According to the lloolt liuyer there wero 877 works on theology and religion iiibllshcd in 1880, 851 In lbs7, 483 In 1SW, nd 8C.3 in 1889. Tlnv. J. L. Dearlnir sava the eager ness of tho Japanese for Christianity is overstated. Tbey are eager for educa tion, but Christianity is a stumbling- block to many. An association of teacher, of girls' schools was lately organized at Madras, India, with forty-five members. Mr. Isabel Brandor.wbo originated the Idoa, was elected president Tbe Baptist denomination In Libe ria is tbe only self-supporting religious body In that country. There are thirty one churchea with 8,000 members. They isve a mission among toe aooriginos. -The Topcka '-Capital" (Kansas) says: "The teacher ought to maue a continuous study of meana for best ap plying the rudiments of education in building up men and women fit for tbe practical work of life." The Mothodlst Church Has decided to build a college in Kansas City, Kan. Property worth about 81,000,000 has been aro ui red there and the educational committee of the church recently met to arrange for the erection or a euuaoie building. The British and Foreign Bible So ciety has. durintr tbe elibty-one year. of its existence, issued from Its London house alone 29.000.000 of complete Bible, nearly 83,000.000 of New Testa ments, and 11.845,000 portion of the Bible. This makes a total of 7S,500,000 books issued from tbe London head quarters. Christian at Work. East Africa has of late engrossed so much attention that reader, may be in danger of forgetting tbe claims of mis sions and the progress of the Gospel ia other part of that vast continent The venerable Bishop Crowther, who has re tently arrived in England, speaks highly of the immense atridea wblch Chrlstl inity is making among tbe WestAfr'can satire, a very encouraging festrre be ing tbe self-denying enthusiasm which convert display in helping on the good work. They have built for themselves several churches In the Interior for their as shea attending the ell mark.t PLANNING A CAMPAIGN. r.nilcranta That Will Nut Coma Amonf l'l to lariu or to llullil. A foreigner who proposes, if possible, to emigrate to this country is said tobavc held acynfcri'iieo recently with one ol his race who had already been here, ll this statement is true, the people of the United States have reason to bo deeply concerned, for these emigrants do not come amoug us to farm, or to build or to vote Their business is to kill, and they do their work well. Their powvr, silent and sure, Is more deadly than that ol cannon or dynamite; they spare nclthet the young nor tho old; their track across the continent is marked by black linei of graves. One of the parties to this reported conference was the vigorous young com ma bacillus, or cholera microbo. Prob ably none of our readers have ever seen this creature, or even its picture, but it Uvea and moves to do a doadller work than tbe fabled dragons of old times. "My ancestors," it Is reported to hava aid, "crossed the sea to the New World again and again, and counted tholr vio tlus by tboiitandaand tens of thousands. What chance is there for me now? My race has the power toreproduco Itself to an illimitable extent If I can make my way from Persia across Europe and the Atlantic, I can tnerea.se by the mil lions should the conditions prove favor able. 1 can double the doath rate In a summer." Ills companion was the microbe of Uk Influent. It picture has not boon drawn by sclcntillo men. It has just fin ished a triumphant march over Europe i and this continent leaving disease and wasted vitality and death behind it Soldiers and Infants, empresses and pau pers, as we all know, were among its victims. "The field is ready for you In Ameri ca," it said. "Young and old there ex haust their vital forces by excessive work or excessive play, by Incessant atrugglea to bo rich, or by drink. On the farms and In country villages little attention is paid to dralnnge; garbage manure heaps and other ahominatloa are left to fester under the hot sun. It tome of tho great cities sewer gas pol lutes the air; In otheis tho drinking watoY is foul with corruption; In all o them the peoplo listen with good-humored Indifference to tho warnings ot scientific mon." "It Is pure air, cleanliness and torn porate living that kill me," said the doadly microbe; "but 1 foresee great tri umphs yonder. I shall have thousands ot victims!" and he prepared for his de parture. - "A fable!" says tho reader. "No such oonforence was ever held." It may be to, but a fublo is a story that has a mor al. You th'a,Compaulon, A JAP AT ANNAPOLIS. All About a rrettjr Malrian of Toklo aud mn AmiMlng Fight. In tho Naval Acadomy at Annapolis la the son ot a wealthy and honored Japanese, who Is taking a course of training preparatory to entering the Mikado's navy. This oadot has an ene my, another Jap, who is living in Wash ington. It Is said that ia a throo-oor-norod flirtation between these youtha and a beautiful maiden who resides In Tokio the naval cadet canio out victo rious. Unahlo to control himself, the vanquished rival at last took refuge in that meanost of warfare, tho telling of tales. Ho wrote to his friends in Japan that the cadet was a bad man, described hia faults, and mado tho poor fellow appear a hoartloss ogre. Those talcs finally reached tho ears ot the girl, who said she did not believe tlrem. Then she sat down and wrote her cadot lovor all she had heard. In due tlmo ber tear-stained missive readied Annapolis; and since then a month ago the maligned Jap has eaten beef by the pound, and given himself up to' swinging Indian olubs, sparring and practicing the broadsword exorcises. A week alnco he found himself devoid of an ounce ot suporflous flosh and thirst ing tor gore. During all this tlmo be bad been careful to continue friendly with his rival, and a tow nights ago In vited the latter to bis room. Whon they got thore the cadet locked the door, tied the key to his bolt, closed tbe windows, cloared the room of brlo-a-brao, and pllod chairs, tables, etc. on hla bed. Then be .tripped, tolling the other to do the aame and prepare to re ceive -the most awful thrashing on record alnne David slew Gollah. A min ute later tbe cadet solzed bis rival by the throat and slammed him against the wall. Whon the slanderer crawled to hla feet be was promptly knocked through the glass door, of a book case. Ten seconds later be was whirl ing around tbe room like a crazy cyolone. Whon the cadet was tired he washed himself, put on his clothing, and told the other that be would be back in five minutes with wltnossos to hear an apol ogy. Then he wont out locking the door after him. But while be was ab aont the tale-bearer tore down the cur tains made a life line ot tbem, and awung out of tbe window, dropping to the ground. He did not dare go to Wash ington alone for fear he should meet tbe cadet so be paid a policeman to accom pany blm thither. On the way they did meet tho cadot and hla friends, and an apology was voluntarily forthcoming. Last Saturday night a number of Amer ican cadets went in a body to the Japanese colleague, congratulating him and approving his action. Tbey aent their respectful compliments to tbe happy maiden in Toklo, but added a re quest that she perauado ber lover to re main in the United Slates navy. A Voti ia Tonoff Haa. Young men make a sad mistake when tbey think it necessary that tbey should have a personal acquaintance with the dark and seamy side of life. Many a man who has peered into the abysa "just to tee what It was like," haa lost hla bal ance and fallon almost hopelessly. A young man was talking tea pilot on one of our big steamer. "How long," he aaked, "have you bee 6 a pilot on those waters?" The old man replied: "Twenty-five years; and I came op and down many times btfor I was pilot." "Then," aaid the young man, "I should think yoo must know every rock and aand-hank on tbe river." Tbe old man smiled at tbe youth's simplicity, and replied, "O, ao, I don't; but I know where tb deep water is." That is what w want to know the safe path and keep to it Farm and Fireside. A Michigan postmaster has been ao restered by young im-n gown ping with Lis pretty female cl. rks that he has placed over each d- 'very window printed card which "Tbii window for P. O. busines ooJyl Nut forviait-tf." OF GENERAL INTEREST. There are two hundred mlllloa acres of arid land tn tbe United States which can be cultivated by Irrigation. Six million acres of this region have al ready been redeemed. Tbe growth of the cities In the United States is not among the least ot the marvel of its development There are 3.'0 of them, with an aggregate pop ulation of nearly 10, 000, 000. White mahogany ia exceeding rare, but sparingly introduced as borders for tables and delicate frame work of up bolstered suits. It has a soft enamel like gloHS, and la very costly. The American Museum of Natural History In Central Park has an egg valued at 8:100. It I. a little over a foot in length, Its holding onpaclty being two gallons, and, In round numbers. It equals ono hundred and fifty hens egg. It Is from Madagascar, and I. a rollu of an ex tinct monster bird. The first submarine telephono lino running between Montevideo and Buenos Ayres Is thirty-two miles long, the entire length with the overland line being one hundred and eighty mile. There aro five Intermediate stations, all of which can telephono and telegraph simultaneously with all the other ela tion. At an auction sale of household goods the other day tn a little town of France an old painting was sold for (40. A few minutes later a pict ure dealer pur chased tt for $00 and before tho day was over ho was offered 815,000 for it It was a Rembrandt with bis signature and date In a lower oorner. The dealer now hopes to sell tt to an American Van derbllt or Wanamaker. The meanest man In Maine Uvea near Lewlston. Ho bad an only son, who was dratted and killed In the war. Thn fnt.her nnw mn- f u-aa ahmf sighted In not paying $100 for a substi tute, for 1 havo Wen forced to hire a man ever alnco to help carry on tho farm, and it has cost me thousands ' bovo tho price of a substitute. Besides, ho was a master hand to work and the smallest eater I eer saw." A coincidence that is very remark able Is reported from Boston. A teams ter who had been hurt by a ear running into his wairon brought suit for damage, against tho railway company. Tho caso came up a tew days ago, and tho jury decided to visit tho scene of tho col lision a steep hill Thoy embarked In a car belonging to tho defendant and had Just reached the bill when the car ran Into a furniture wagon, breaking two of tho windows and shaking up tbe Jurymen. The teamster received a er diet for 91.100. A Toklo correspondent gives some amusing specimens of English as It Is written by the Japanese. Among them are these, from a library company, rules: "Tho Proffosston of our Company la supplying the all Japanose Classical and Modern Books or Chinese and En glish Languago Book, to Roader. for rcolovlng duly Lending Prlco." "The object of our library 1. for the Reader who desired to Read many book at one time for searching useful matter. There fore all book whloh la ready In our Com pany, ia permit to Read; but the pre vailing Book at present la wished for Reador to be lend from the proeedeur ot sending." "Who ha read '.ho Book of our Company, above Three month by the Polish way ot the reading, thought ot our Company will aend tbe Signature of Special and may be lend by paying Lending Price that mitigating 1-10 ot it" NATURE'S RECORD-BOOK. How Tiwea Keep Track of Raeh Nuoeeaalve Kranon of Urowth, It I. not known to every ono that a tree keeps a record within its stem ot tho character of each successive season since it began its growth. If a peach tree, for instance, be examined after it haa been cut down, the ring of wood formed in each year will show by its amount whether tbe aummer of that year was warm or dry, or otlutrwlse fa vorable or adverse; and by the condition of the wood the character ot the winter will be denoted. Severe early frost will leave a layer of soft decaying wood, and later ..uita will be lndloated by a cbango of oolor, if nothing more. If a summer has boon so dry a. to cause a total rest between the growths of June and September, tbe annual ring for that year will bo a double one, and aomotlmin, bandy distinguishable as one, but liable to be taken, by a not very close ohflcrvor, for two different year.' growth. At a late meeting of the Botanical So ciety of Edlnbiirg, Sir Robert Chrlstlsun gave the results of measurements of large trees of different . pedes, made an nually on lines of girth marked perma nently with paint In the very unfavor able season of 1879, the deficiency In summer temperature was nearly 10 do grees. In seven oak tree, ot different species tho deficiency in annual Increase of girth was 10 per cent In eleven other deciduous trees it was 43 per cent ; and In seventeen pine, it wa. 20 per cent, different species of the same family giv ing very nearly similar results. Vick'a Monthly. HE KNEW HIM WELL. HI Memory AmIiIi Mr. Cooper la Squalen Inc Hlarksuard. In an up-town resort tbe other night wa. William Cooper, tbe owner of tbe big onyx quarries near Esperanza, Mex ico, wbo bad dropped in to meet a friend. At the bar were a party of mon Imbibing liquid refreshments. Mr. Cooper wears here tbe same brood brimmed brown plush sombrero as when he is riding over the mountains to his quarries. It attracted the notice of the party at tbe bar, and one of them, in an Insulting tone, proposed to drink to the health of thn author of "Where Did You Get That Hat?" His voice caused Mr. Cooper to. look quickly around, while tho Insult caused a flush to run over h;s ruguod, bewhtskercd face. He found that be knew tho voloo, and step ping up to the man, he said, quietly but firmly: "That bat Is all right but be fore you Insult the wearer of It hadn't you better remember that four years ago I loaned you fifty dollar, which you told me would keep you out of Ludlow street Jail and save your family from starving? My name Is Cooper, sir, tut I bad no whiskers then." Tbe gentleman wbo told me this Incident relates that the man at the bar turned white and red by turns, gasped, half-strangled, but finally did the manly thing by say ing: "My God, are you Cooper? WelL It's all so, gentlemen, Just as he saya, .nd I beg his pardon and yours." N. Y. Pre. t A town clerk In Maine, wbo Is also a druggist combine, builne enterprise, and public spirit by offering to give ! marriage license and a pint of cologne to every bowt fU applicant for a mar riage certificate during the next two months. "A LITTLE NONSENSE." A young man, whose wife's fathet was very kind to him, said that he was Tb excellence as a fathor-ln-law. Mer chant Traveler. Another Coolness tn tho Jason Fam ily. Mr. Jason "Mrs. Wilier. I. go ing to Florida again thl. winter. She t. going dow n there for ber lung." Mr. Jason "How did she happen to leave them there? Forgot 'em?" Terre Haute Express. Young wife "Are you happy, doar, to be sailing on tho matrimonial sea with such a kind and loving mate?" Husband "Yes, Indeed; but don't you think we'd better put Into port a little while and ship a cook?" Kearney En terprise, "Well, my dear madam, and how are you to-day?" '-O, doctor, I bave terrible pains all over my whole body, and it seems Impossible to breathe! Of course I can't sleep at all, and I haven't a par ticle of appetite." "But otherwise you feel all right don't you?" Fllogende Blatter. Ho wa a man noted for his Chester" fleldlan address, and had been vory 111. "You havo been at death'a door," re marked the doctor as his patient began to mend. "Really, doctor," replied the man of tho world, "do do you know whether I ah left my cord?" Harp er's Hazar. Mr. Layman "See here, doctor, you said there wasn't any such disease as hydrophobia." Dr. Nehmors (emphatic ally) "No, sir, there la not" Mr. Layman ''But old (Irubbs got it all the same, and last night be died." Dr. bchmers (meditatively) "Well, a man who goes and catches diseases tbatdoa'l exist ought to d e." Puck. Kind lady to tramp "Here, my poor man, Is a pair of very good shoes whlc'a my aon has cast aside He wore them In society last winter. You may have them." "Excuse me, but I'm claiming to be an Oregon flood sufferer, and those fancy things wouldn't fit the story. I'll send Billy the Kid to aee yer he', working tho dude-kloked-out-for marry lng-a-poor-gal fake," Jury. "Mary Ann," shouted a Swampoodle matron, as she stood in the doorway. "M-a a-r-y Ann!" "Phwat la It yea do bo wantln'?" "I was deslrin' to remark to yet that Nellie Illy kin git roun' th' earth In less than eighty days, and it's yorself that doos be two hours and twlnty minutes glttln' from the grocery two blocks off wld a pitcher av milk. Turn yer arlt'metlo on that and see if it helps yor prolde any." Washington Post Mr. Sllmpurse (wbo has been ac cepted by Miss Wealthy without in quiries as hi. financial standing) "I wonder, my darling, if your parents will give tholr consent" Mis Wealthy (thoughtfully) "MiF has always been very particular about the moral charac ter of young naon I associate with, and I'm afraid she'll ask a good many ques tions." Mr. Sllmpurse (joyfully) "Oh, I can get rcf (iren es from half a dozen ministers." Miss Wealthy (delighted) "That's spl dl Then after that all you'll havo to do will be to fet refer ences from half a dozen bankers, and you'll catch pa." N. Y. Weekly. MARRIED BY PROXY. A Waddlna; Olrbratad Whlla tha RridV , (room Waa Many Mllaa Away. Senor I'lplnno Ohando was, until re eently, Consul of the United States ot Colombia at San Francisco. TVe, the Senor and mysolf, lived at the aame hotel and, by mutual agreement, wo each Instructed the other in tho lan guago, custom and manners of our re spective conn trios. I grew to bo quite fond of the Senor, be was so generous and simple and eager to learn our ways. His consular duties consisted mainly in drawing hla salary, whloh he did every month with clock-like regularity. Tho Senor was married I learned and tho picture of hi. wlfo, which he alway. carried about blm, was that of a charm In aenora .of tbe regulation Spanish, type of beauty. Bogota wa the home of thla loving pair, Mmn. Obando being the niece ot the President of the Republic, One day the Senor aaid to me, In hla broken English: "I must go home to my wlfo. I can no longer bear this aeparatlon. Besides, my father has been married to her about long enough." His father, I thought "What on earth do you mean?" I asked. "Whon were you married, Senor?" "About six months ago," he replied. I knew ho had been in San Francisco a year, so I said: "Oh. 1 see, your wife did not like San Francisco, ao aho returned borne." "She has never been here." "And yot yon say you were married to her six months since?" "Certainly; I gave a power of attor ney to my father, who married Inea in my stead." . "Now, see here, Obando," I remarked. "I am afraid you're making fun ot me. This idea of your wife being your step mother at the aame tlmo, and your father' wife being bla daughter in-law oh, no, It won't do." Tho Senor, however, was In earnest, and Oimo I learned one of the peculiar custom. In vogue In the South American republic A. a matter of policy or convenience It bad been necessary that Senor Obando should marry bla aftlanced, and there fore the necessary instruction, were wired to Panama, conveyed thence down the Mugdalena river to the port, and by muleback to the capital. In the tame manner the new. of tbe ceremony was conveyed back to San Francisco, and Senor Obando was a duly married man. Marriages of tbla tort are by no means infrequent among Spaiil. i-American peoplo. The "proxlea" are geneially male relative, of either prospective bride or groom. An intimate friend, in fact may perform tbe office, though in the latter case it sometimes happens thst tbe friend betrays his trust snd tbe fond, absent husband return, home to find himself divorced. These marriage, are perfectly legal and are recognized by tbe Church. They are somewhat like "binding slips" In Insurance, the "policies" belag deliv ered afterward. Upon tbe return ot the husband, though, be must be married pib.loly. In ease he dies before seeing his "proxy" wlfo, then his "vicarious" widow Inherit hit property, th tame at If she had been married in th regu lar fashion. Senor Ohando returned to Bogota, and tha last time I beard from him he waa occupying a high official position and living hsppily with hi wife, to whom be had bven "regularly" married, N. Y. Herald.