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About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (March 8, 1890)
iiiiraitiii a ctorv of American Frontier A 1 Life. BjOipu CHARLES KIH8, O.aA, -.r'TVCooasfsAtaiioatsr," "Vem , 4etiil IM Of J B LlpplnooU Company ItaJeiplit. and published by special arraoK Jruuj-b Americas fnm AmocUuIus. CHAPTER L T WAS nearly midnight, and still the gay party lingered on the veranda. There liad been I fortnight of "getting settled" at the Mw post, preceded by a month of march lug that had brought the battalion from distant service to this strange Texan sta tion. The new comers had been hospita bly welcomed by the officers of the little prrison of infantry, and now, in recog nition of their many courtesies, the field officer commanding the arriving troops had been entertaining the resident olil oen and ladies at dinner. The colonel vat s host in himself, but preferred not lo draw too heavily on his reserves of anecdote and small talk, so he had called in two of his subalterns to assist in the pleasant duty of being attentive to the infantry Indies, and just now, at 11:43 p. Hi., he was wondering if Lieut Perry had not too literally construed his in functions, for that young gentleman was devoting Minn-lf to Mrs. Belknap in I manner so murked us to make the cap tain, her lawful lord and master, mani festly uneasy. lire, Bclknnp, however, seemed to en Joy the situation immensely. She was i pretty woman at most times, as even her rivals admitted. She was a beauti ful woman nl all times, was the verdict of the officers of the regiment when they happened to 8eak of the matter among themselves She was dark, with lus trous eyes and sweeping lashes, with coral lips and much luxuriance of tress, and a way of glancing sideways from under her heavily fringed eyelids that the younger and more impressionable oien found tuite irresistible when ac corded the rare luxury of a tete-a-tete. Belknap wns a big and boisterous man; Mrs. Belknap waa small in stature, and soft very soft of voice. Belknap was either brusquely repellent or oppressively cordial in manner; Mrs. Belknap was either gently and exasperatingly indif ferent to those whom she did not care to attract, or caressingly sweet to those whose attentions she desired. In their own regiment the young offi cers soon found that unless they wished to be involved in an unpleasantness with Belknap it was best to be only very mod erately devoted to his pretty wife, and those to whom an unpleasantness with the big captain might have had no ter rors of consequence were deterred by (lie fact that Mrs. Belknap's devotee among the "youngsters" had invariably become an object of coldness and aver lion to the other dames and damsels of the garrison. Very short lived, there fore, had been the little flirtations that prang up from time to time in those frontier posts wherein Capt and Mrs. Belknap were among the chief orna ments of society; but now matters Kerned to be taking other shape. From Hie very day that handsome Ned Perry dismounted In front of Belknap's quar ters and with his soldiery salute reported lo the then commanding officer that CoL Brainard and bis battalion of cavalry ould arrive In the course of two or three hours, Mrs. Belknap had evinced a contentment in his society and assumed in air of quasi-proprietorship that served to annoy her garrison sisters more than h'ttla For the time being all the cav alrymen were bachelors, eirlier by ac tual rank or "by brevet," aa none of the Jies of the th accompanied the bat talion on its march, and none were ex pected until the stations of the regiment in its new department had been definite ly settled. The post surgeon, too, was living a life of single blessedness aa the arly spring wore on, for his good wife tad betaken herself, with the children, to the distant east aa soon aa the disap pearance of the winter's snows rendered "aging over the bard prairie roads a natter of no great danger or discomfort It was the doctor himself who, seated an easy chair at the end of the ve mda, first cane,i the coiner, attention to Perry's devotioual attitude at Mrs. Belknap's side. Site waa reclining in a hammock, one little, slippered foot occa sionally touching the floor and impart fog a gentle, swinging motion to the "fair, and making a soothing ewish isb of skirts along the matting under Math. Her jeweled hands looked very lender and fragile and white as they 8'eanied in the soft light that shone from the open windows of the parlor. Vy were busied In straightening out " kinks in the gold cord of his forage jP and in rearranging a little silken aid and tassel that waa fastened in a elunuy, man like fashion to one of the buttons at the side; he, seated in a camp j-wir, was bending forward so that his handsome, shapely head waa only a higher than hers, and the two so dark and rich in coloring, his 10 'air and massive and strong came ttb' too close together for the equa nimity of Capt Belknap, who had es yed to Like a hand at whist in the par lor. 0" or two of the ladle, also," were jwnt observers of the scene silent as to a scene because, being in conversation J Oietime with brother officers of Lieut errT. they were uncertain as yet how nnientaon his growing flirtation might received That their eyes should oo Midly w ander towards the hammock lllfn 8lancB witn sympathetic sig 'Bcance at those of some fair ally and wttmate was natural enough. But w ben hecame presently apparent that Mrs .. knap was actually unfastening the silken braid that bad hung on Ned 'T's cap ever since the dsy of his ar-J-U the while, too, looking shyly "P ia bisjs aa her. fingers worked, hen It was seen that ...v.. ... hil',fr:Ml" buttndlln. half ; " " "" nanueo It to him; when he was seen to ton It carelessly-even contemptuously., ,, t)cn down ower. as though gazing into her haded eyes. Mrs Lawrence could stand It no longer "Mr Oralmm." said she, "Isn't your friend. Mr Perry, something of a flirt?" "VI,o?-Nedr asked Mr. Graham, in eu icignea amaze and with sudden glance towards the object of his Inquiry. How on earth should 1 know anvthing about It? Of course you do not seek ex pert testimony in asking ma Ue tries, 1 supone. to adapt himself to circum stances. But why do you ask?" , "Because I see that he has been Induc ing Mrs Vlknap to take off that little tassel on the button of his cap Ue has worn it when off duty ever since he came; and we supposed it was something he cherished; I know she did." Graham broke forth in a peal of merry laughter, but gave no further reply, for just then the colonel and the doctor left their chairs, and, sauntering over to the hammock, brought mighty relief to Bel knap at the whist table and vexation of spirit to his pretty wife. The flirtation was broken at a most Interesting point, and Perry, rising suddenly, came over and joined Mrs. Lawrence, If she expected to see him piqued or annoyed at the Interruption and some what perturbed in manner, she was greatly mistaken. Nothing could have been more sunshiny and jovial than the greeting he gat e her. A laughing apol ogy to Graham for spoiling his tete-a-tete was accomplished In a moment, and theu down by her side he sat and plunged Into a merry description of his experi ences at dinner, where he had been placed next to the chaplain's wife on the i one hand, and she had been properly ae- grieved at his attentions to Mrs. Belknap on the other. I "You must remember that Mrs. Wells Is a very strict Presbyterian, Mr. Perry; and, for that matter, none of us have seen a dinner such as the colonel gave us this evening for ever and ever so long. I We are quite unused to the ways of I PI VI 1 i 7!l t illll ' n'haniaa pni. tin !..,. A - ... niiMviMjim iia.g jus, WUIUV from the east and long leave. Perhaps it ia the fashion to be all devotion to one's next door neighbor at dinner." "Not if she be as repellent and vener able as Mrs. Wells, I assure you. Why, I thought she would have been glad to leave the table when, after having re fused sherry and Pontet-Canet for up wards of an hour, her glass was filled with champagne when she happened to be looking the other way." "It is the first dinner of the kind she has ever seen here, Mr. Perry, and I don't suppose either Mr. or Mrs. Wells has been up so late before in years, lie would have enjoyed staying and watch ing whist, but she carried him off almost as soon as we left the table. Our society has been very dull, you know only otr selves at the post all this last year, and nobody outside of it" "One would suppose that with all this magnificent cattle range there would be some congenial people ranching near you Are there none at all?" "Absolutely nonet There are some ranches down in the Washita country, but only one fine one near us; and that might as well be on the other aide of tin Atlantic. No one from there evei comes here; and Dr. Quin is the only living soul in the garrison who ever gol within the walls of that ranch. What he saw there he positively refuses to tell despite all our entreaty." "You don't tell me there's a ranch with a mystery here near Rossiterr ex claimed Mr. Perry, with sudden interest "Why, I do, indeed! Ia it possible you have been here two whole weeki and haven't heard of Dunraven Ranch? "I've heard there was such a thing; 1 saw it from a distance when out hunting the other day. But what's the mystery what's the matter with it?" "That's what we all want to know and cannot find out New, there Is ai exploit worthy your energy and beal efforts, Mr. Perry. There ia a big wealthy, well stocked ranch, the finest homestead buildings, we are told, in al this part of Texas. They say it is beau tifully furnished that it has a fim library, a grand piano, all manner ol things indicative of culture and refine ment among its occupants but the own er only comes around once or twice I year, and is an iceberg of an English man. All the people about the rand are English, too, and the most repellent, boorish, discourteous lot of men you evei saw. When the Eldventh were hen they did everything they could to bt civil to them, but not an invitation would they accept, not one would thej extend; and so from that day to thii none of the officers have had any inter course with the people at the ranch, and the soldiers know very little more. One or twice a year some very ordinary look ing men arrive who are said to be very distinguished eople-in England; bui they remain only a little while, and g away as suddenly as they came," And you have never seen any them?" "Never, except at a distance, Hoi has any one of the officers, except Dr. "And you have never heard anythinj about the inmates and why they keei up this policy of exclusivenessT We have heard all manner of thingi -some of them wildly romantic, somi mysteriously tragic, and all of them probably, absurd. At all events, Cap! Lawrence has told me he did not wish rue to repeat what I had heard, or to be concerned in any way with the stories afloat; so you must ask somebody else. Try the doctor. To change the subject Mr Perry, I see you have lost that mys terious little silken braid and tassel you wore on your cap button. I fancied there waa some romance attached to it and now it is gone." Perry laughed, his blue eyes twinkling with fun: "If I wi" I" 7" hw,M? where I got that tassel, will you tell me what you have beard about Dunraven Ranch?' "I cannot, unless Capt Uwrence withdraws his prohibition. Perhaps he will, though, for I ihink1itwMOn f cause he was tired of bearing ali our conjectures and theories." - Well will you tell me if I can Induce the captain to say be has no objectionT 'TwM tomorrow-lf you will tell me about the tassel to-night" -Is it a positive promise? You sriD Vd me to-morrow all you have heard about Dunraven Ranch if I will tell you to night all 1 know about the tastelT "Yes a promise." ..-, -Very well then. Yon are a witness to the compact Graham, how for my confession II have worn ttalj u-el- teV our MrtiM bail Unit hi lo say. it has been fastened to thai hutton ever since the ball until to night, but I've been mighty careful not fl wear that cap on any kind of duly. "And yet you let Mr Belknap take ii off to-nlghtf" "Why shouldn't I? There was no sentiment whatever attached to it I haven't the fuintest Idea whose it was. and only tied it there for the fun of the thing and to make Graham, here, ak questions." "Mr. Perry!" gasped Mrs. Lawrence. And do you mean that Mrs. Belknap knows that you told her what you have jut told me?" " Well, no," laughed Perry "I fancy Mrs Belknap thinks as you thought that It was a gaged'amour. Hallo! look it that light away out there across the prairie. What can that be?" Mrs. Lawrence rose suddenly to hei feel and gazed southeastward in the di vet ion in which Hie young officer point id. It was a lovely, starlit night. A ofl wind was blowing gently from the south and bearing with it the fragrance if spring blossoms and far away flower Is. Others, too, hud arisen, attracted liy Perry's sudden exclamation. Mrs Belknap turned languidly in her ham mock and glanced over her pretty white houlder The colonel followed her eyes with his and gave a start of surprise. The doctor turned alowly and composed ly and looked silently towards the glis tening object, and then uHn the officers of the cavalry there fell sudden astonish ment. "What on earth coild that have lieen?" sked the colonel "It gleamed like the head light of a locomotive, a way down there in the valley of the Monee. flion audilenly went out." "Be silent a moment and watch,' whispered Mrs Lawrence to Perry You will see it again, and watch the doctor." Surely enough, even as they were all looking aUuil nnd commenting on the strange apparition, it suddenly gtarod forth a second time, shining full and lus trous as an unclouded planet, yet miles away lieyond and above the fringe of cotton woods that wound southeastward with the little stream Full half a min ute it shone, and then, abruptly as be fore, was hidden from sight Perry was about starting forward to join the colonel whun a little hand was laid upon his arm. "Wait; once more you'll see It," she whispered "Then take me in to Capt. Lawrence Do you see that the doctoi is Icavin .-?" Without saying a word to any one, the post surgeon had very quietly withdrawn from the group on the veranda. He cffiild not well leave by the front gnte without attracting attention; but he it rolled leisurely into the hall, took up a book that lay on the table, and passed through the group of officers seated smoking and chatting there, entered the sitting room on the south side of the hull tho side opposite the parlor where the whist game was In progress and there he was lost to sight A tlitrd (hue Die Drfghl light bunt upon the view of the gazers. A third time, sharply and suddenly, It disap peared. Then for a moment all was silence and watchfulness; but it came no more. Perry looked questlonlngly In his com panion's f.ue. She had turned a little white, and he felt sure that she was shivering. 'Are you cold?" he asked her, gently "No not that; but I hate mysteries after what I've heard, and we haven't seen that light in ever so long. Come hero to the corner one moment" And she led him around to the other fl 'nk of the big wooden, barrack like residence of the commanding officer. "Look up there," she said, pointing to a dark window under the peaked dormer roof of the large cottage to the south 'That is the doctor's house," In a few seconds a taint gleam seemed to creep through the sluts. Then the slats themselves were thrown wide open a white shade was lowered, and, with the rays behind it growing brighter ev ery instant, a broad while light shone forth over the roof or tlie veranda. An other moment and footsteps were heard along the doctor's porch, footsteps thai presently approached them along the grass. 'Come," she said, plucking at bis sleeve, "come away; It is the doctor." "For what reason? he answered. "That would seem like hiding. No, Mrs Lawrence, let us stay until he comes." But the doctor passed them with brief and courteous salutation; 8oke of the beauty of the night and the balm of the summery air. ami went in again by the main dxr to the colonel's quarters Then IVrry turned to his partner. Well. Mrs. Lawrence, what does it all mean? Is this utrt of what you tiad to tell meT "Don't ask me now. I I did not want to see what we have seen, but I had heard queer stories and could not believe fltAni TlllfA HIM in to Caul Lawrence. please. And. Mr Perry, you won't speak of this to any one. will you? Indeed, if I had known. 1 would not have come out here for the world, but 1 didn't believe it, even when she went away and took the children. " "Who went away?" "Mrs Ouin-the doctor's wife. And she was such a sweet woman, and so de voted to him." "Well, pardon me. Mrs. Lawrence, I don't see through this thing al all Do you mean lliiil the doctor has anything to do w ith the mystery?" She bowed her head as they turned back to the house- "1 must not tell you any more to-uiht You will twsure to hear something of it all. here Every body on Ibe piazza saw the lights, and all who were here before you came knew what they meant." "What were they?" "Signals, of some kind, from Dunraven Ranch." CHAPTER IL k. or, nrnnV h.t K.nXV?-.vSS' veille and morning tjtf A"" stables about as ff 4 fV bemetitly as was pos StfL I i sible U a young fel low who was la other respects thoroughly In love with his pro fession, 1 fairer tveot tk.aarifaa cavalry officer, when once hs'gof in sad dle and settled down to business, one would hardly ask to find. Tall, alliletio, slender of build, with frank, laughing blue eyes, curly, close cropped, light brown hair, and a twirling mustache that waaasourceof inexpressible delight to Its owner and of soma envy to hia brother aubalterns, Mr. Perry was prob ably the best looking of the young offi cers who marched with the battalion to this far away station on the borders of the Llano Estacada He had been ten years in service, counting the four hs spent as a cadet had just won his silver bar as the junior first lieutenant of the regiment, was full to the brim of health, energy, animal spirits and fun, and, bar ring a few duns and debts in his earlier experiences, had never known a heavier care in the world than the transient and ephemeral anxiety as to whether hs would be called up for recitation on a subject he had not so much as looked at, pr "blved" absent from a roll call he had lazily slept through. TO nK COKTIM'KD.1 MR. BIXBY'S PATENT. It Was a tlooil Thin. Hut Nrnlnl a F luiiruvniruU. "By Jove! I've an Idea!" said Mr. Illxhy gleefully, while at the dinner table the other day. "Now here we've spent half our time while at the table passing things to each other and it's all nonsense. 1 know just how it can all be done away with and I'll have the thing patented before a month and make a mint of money out of It I'm go ing to put in all my spare time on It and I'll soon show you a modol of ono of the cleverest Inventions of the ago." Mrs. Ilixhy did not say any thing. She wa accustomed to outbursts of this kind on tho part of Mr. Hlxby, who was freqnently seized with a mania for In venting and patenting something, and , as he had always recovered without ' mortgaging the house or Injuring any of the family, sho hoped all would end . well this time. Three days later, after he had worked , UlURb ui wiu uiKiib ut-iuru, UO UBMIU w Mrs. Bixby with his latest "clever In vention." o "You see, my dear, what It la," he said calmly as he gave It a whirl. "It's a revolving dining-room table, to do, away with this eternal passing of things j to each other. hrin you see any thing out of reach that you want, all you have to do Is to give the tablo a gentlo little whirl, and there you havo tho dish you want right in front of you, Now what do you think of that, my dear? Don't you think our fortuno la made, eh? o "Itmlght worlc, Elijah," repllod Mrs. Bixby calmly, "if you could make sev eral little Improvements." "t hat improvements?" snapped out i Bixby. j "Well, tell mo, please, where yout own plate would be when the dish you wanted had boon whirled around In front of you'.'" "Why, I I It " "And where would the rest of our plates 1)0?" "Woll, I never thought of that I I " "I suppose, my dear, there might bo some sort of a Bignal given by which all the others could grab their plates and bold on to them when the table was about to be whirlod, or wo might" "Take care, Harriot Amanda Blby; don't yon go too far now I" a "Or we might why, Elijah, what do you mean by throwing a valuable patent like that Into the Are?" "What do I mean, woman? You'll know what I mean whon you're loft a despised grass widow with six young ones to look out for! And that la ust what will happen, ai sure as shool If you open your mouth again! Laugh nowl Giggle! Titter! Tee-hee somo more, can't you? Darn a woman, anyhow!" Time. . THE CARDINAL FOILED. How On or Klrhftlleu's IntrnuVd Victims Wu Accidentally ftavril. Dumont the proprietor of a small fac tory In Paris, one day received a polite Invitation to take supper with Cardinal Richelieu at his country residence. Du mont was somewhat aurprlsed, as he had no acquaintance with the Cardinal; how ever, he made his preparations for the trip, and mounting hia mule one after noon he started for the Cardinal's villa, Dumont had scarcely loft Paris when a tremendous storm overtook blm, and he was obliged to seek shelter in a tav ern. He was warming himself by the fire when a second traveler, who had been overtaken by the rain, entered. 'While the two strangers were drying their clothes by the flro, they entered into conversation with each other, dur ing the progress of which Dumont men tioned his proposed visit to the Cardinal. "Have you ever said any thing to awaken the enmity of the Cardinal?" asked the stranger of Dumont "Not that I know of. Well, now I come to think of it, I believe that I did say something about the death of tho Duke de Montmorencl." "And your name Is Dumont?" "Certainly, that's my name." "You seem to be an honest man, Monsieur Dumont, so let me give you some advice. Don't ' go to Cardinal Richelieu's. Yon are mistaken in his object of inviting you to supper. He is going to have you bung." 'That is not possible!" "I know belter, for I am the man who Is expected to hang you." Dumont recoiled with horror. "Who are you?" he asked. "I am the public executioner. I have received an order to come to bis country bouse to hang you. Overtaken by the storm, like yourself, I sought shelter In this inn. Your honest face Impressed me, and I determined to save you. The Cardinal frequently calls on me to do things I abhor, and I am about to give up my position. You had better take my advice, return to Paris as soon as possible, and get out of the country If you can. I hope you will remember that I have done you a good servloe, and the least indiscretion on your part may cause my ruin." Dumont thanked the executioner, mounted his mule and returned to Paris aa fast as he could travel. He then went to a friend to whom he intrusted his secret By the liberal use of money he obtained a forged passport and finally reached England In disguise, where he lived until after the death of the Cardinal, which occurred two years later. From the German, For an all around mean man a resi dent of Allapaba, Ga., certainly tsJaes the cake. A few months ago bis wife, a most estimable lady, died, snd, after disposing of all other matters satisfac torily, he took a trunkful of her cloth ing out on the street and auctioneered It off piece by piece to the Street loungers and to women ho were willing to get bargains under such circumstances. DR. TALMAGE'S MOTHER. The famous I rosrlicr's llotulirul I'ra I'lirtrslt of Her Heath. I never write or speak to woman but my mind wanders off lo one model -the aged one, who twenty-four year ago we put away for the resurrection. About eighty years ago, and Just lie fore their msrrlugu day, my father and mother stood up in tho old meeting house at Somervillo, X. J and took upon them the vows of the Christian. Through a long life of vicissitude my mother lived harmlessly and usefully, and came to her end in peace. No rhiid of wsnt overcame to her door and win turned away empty. No one la sorrow cam ii to her hut was comforted. No one askitl her the way to bo saved hut sho pointed him to tho cross. When the angel of life came to a neighbor's dwell ing sho was there lo rejoice at the start ing of another immortal spirit When tho angel of death came to that dwell ing sho was there to robo tho departed (or the l.urlal. We had often heard her, when lending family prayers in tho absence of my father, say; "O Lord, I ask not for my children wealth or honor, hut I do ask that they may all lie tho subjects of Thy comforting grace!" Herelevenchildren brought into tho kingdom of liod, sho had hut ono mora wish, and thut was that she might see her long-absent mis sionary son, and when the ship from China anchored In New York harbor, and tho long uboent ono passed over the threshold of his paternal borne, she said: "Now, laird, lettost thou Thy servant depart in peace, for my eyes have seen Thy salvation." Tho prayer was soon answered! It was an autumnal day when we gathered from afar, and found only the house from which the soul had fled forever. Kho looked very natural, tho hands very much as when they wero employed In kindness for the children Whatever else wn forget wo never for ire t tho look of mother's hands. As we sto.Ml by the casket we could not help ' but say: "IWhii t she look beautiful? It was a cloudless day when, with heavy hearts, we carried her out to tho last resting-place, Tho withered leaves crumbled under hoof and wheel as we passed, and tho sun ahono on the Karl tan river until It looked like fire: but more calm and beautiful and radiant! was the setting sun of that aged pil grim's life. No more toll, no mora Wars, no more skness, no more death. Dear mother! Beautiful mother! " Rwort Is the ilunilwr lienoalh the sod, While the pure spirit rests with (loci." With such a mother as an examplo. Is it strange that 1 should always havo cherished tho most exalted estimate of woman and womankind? Ladles' Homo Journal. ANTIQUITY OF DROLLS. An KiquUlle tittle linage furred lu Oak Found lu a Koman Collin. Tho other day I went Into a store on State street whore toys constitute tho bulk of tho stock. Tho man at tho doll department, although he had boon sell ing dolls until I fancied bo looked baby Isii "twonty-flvo years In this busi ness," ho suld had not wearied of it "I do not know whon the world was with out dolls," ho remarked. "I have not had time to look It up, but as far as my opportunity has permitted I havo dis covered that every nation on earth hud dolls. Tho demand for them now ia as great as when I first went into tho busi ness." A day or two later, curiously enough, 1 found all article lu ono of tho maga zines containing an account of the opening of a coftln in Rome. It had been discovered In excavating. The collln was marble. How many hundred years ainon it was burled? Tho name of the dead was deciphered and from tho formation of tho letters Biid the bas-rn-lief on tho lid It was concluded that the woman for It was a woman lived at tho beginning of the third century after Christ She was not one of tho nobility, and the name on tho sarcophagus showed that her fumlly was (ireek. The Burgeon who took out the skeleton snd arranged It gives the opinion that the woman was about seventeen years of age at bor death. Whun the coffin was opened a box was discovered, in which wero a number of toilet articles still in a state of preservation; a couplo of linn combs; a small disk of polished stool; a small silver box, prolubly for oosmntlcs; a hairpin, six Inches long, made of throo pieces of amlier. A re markable discovery was the preserva tion of myrtlo leaves a wreath with a silvor clasp that had fallen from the bead. There was no truoe of tho feat ures, of oourso, but tho tooth wero fine and regular. A ring an engage ment ring (?) with a man's name en graved thereon, was found near the skeleton hand. On each side of tho bead were gold ear-rings, with drops of pearls. Mlnglod in a heap with the vertvbrte of the neck and backbone thore wore a gold necklace, woven as a ohaln, with thirty-seven pendants of groon jasper, and a large brooch, with an intaglio in amethyst representing the fight of a griffin and a door. Near tho left shoulder was lying an exquisite little doll carved in oak. This, if there was nothing else, would establish the antiquity of the doll. Chl oago Tribune. And lie Probably Did. ImpeciAlous Dude I'd like to put this gold-headod cane In soak. Pawnbroker (examining it and hand ing It back) In that case I guess you'll have to keep on carrying one end of It in your mouth, my friend. Chicago Tribune. Unite a lllrierence, "American girls come cheaper tbn Circassian maidens.'' "What do you mean?" "Why, the Sultan of Turkey buys Clr cassians, but we often read of American girls being presented to (Jueen Vic toria. " N. Y. Sun. No Hotter Evidence roMlble. Mrs. Blllus John, you don't seem very grateful for that box of cigars I jsve you for a birthday present Mr. liillus (in anguish of soul) Not (rateful, Maria? Thunder! Ain't I amok ng them? Chicago Tribune. Harmonious InliarmoulouneM, no Dr. Pulpit surpassed himself to dsy. Grand ideas and beautifully clothed beautifully clothed! She (aroused from profound medita tion) What did you aay, dear? Oh, yes, to be sure. Dr. Pulpit's clothes. He does dress well elegantly. But was juat thinking what a dowdy bis wife looked. Really, she's a disgrace to the church. Texas Sittings. It Did Hot Apply. Attorney Your Honor, my client Is a sufferer from that most distressing mal ady, kleptomania. Magistrate O, nonsense, lie Is poor man, and stole a ham. Yenowlne'a Ksws. . MISCELLANEOUS. A iipw post otlieo in Virginia has boon named Poverty. A Milllln I Pa. I woman threw some medicine in the tire, and un explosion .ook place which carried the stove out of doors. A man shot sixteen times ut a spar row and finally killed It, but one cow, a log and two cuts went along with the sparrow. When you wunt to compliment s woman on the miccitnin slilo of thirty, speii k of onie one a little older than she Is as a "girl." Soineriille Journal. As Peter Itaur, of PotUvllle, waa opening a large oyster a strange t1b f1lpHd out. It hud eaten pitrt of tho oyster, It bud the bead of a eatlNh. A Newark, Ohio, woman bought a lot of Christmas gifts for her husband and children, and hid them away so carefully that she Is now unable lo find them. A grocer in Wheeling, W. Va., after a three days' search for his favorite pug dog, found the animal In a back room of the store, under uu inverted half-huslnd measure. "Cigarettes for ladles' smoking" uro sold in London, provided with specially prepared mouthpieces. They aro per fumed with musk and violet, nnd the) are enjoying a very extensive sale. A tearful widow at Charleston W Va., obtained an order for four dollars worth of groceries from tho poor com missloncrs. Next day tho provision wero spread as Uu' refreshments ut bet wedi.lng huniUot. A physiologist In Franco bus lieen observing the working of Hies in flying and has arrived at the conclusion that tho wings of a fly make about S.'tu heats, a second, and that such a fly can travel at tho rule of U.'Jhu feet a minute. Tho school ma'ms of St. Paul not long ago were Instructed to glvo oc casional Instruction In plain and fancy sewing to the girls under their churge, and the horrible fact came out that few, If any of tho teachers, could do any kind of sewing w hatever. A watch made In France during tho reign of Louis XV., Is owned In New York, and still keeps good time. It was mado by hand, nnd Is Inclosed In a fit karat fine case, which Is ornamented In Louis XV. style, with sixteen corners. The works aro no thicker than a silver dollar. A Washington County (Kan.) man named Steers mortgaged "four white steers to a loan company. Tho fores closure proceedings developed tho fact thut the man mortgaged hia four chil dren. The loan company bad Steers arrested, as one of thcchildrcu wasa girl. In parts of Brooklyn tho excellent custom bus I n alopted of placing on street lumps tho number of tho houses nearest to which they stand. This is a groat convenience to peoplo who aro searching for a certain number in the dark of tho evening, slnco tho general methods of displaying houso numbers aro far from satisfactory. Tho idea is not new, having been adopted In New York at least ten years ago. Who says a dog has not Intelligence? A Gardiner (Mo.) lady sot a dish of soup out in her yard tho other day to cool. Tho dish was very hot, but had a handle. Tho houso dog soon eamo along to the dish, lured by the fascinating fragrance, contemplated tho contents long enough to find thut It was his favorite soup, then tuklng the handle between his teeth, he hacked off several rods very carefully, pulling the dish after him to a placo which ho considered both cooler and moro sequestered. He waited for tho broth to cool, devoured It with in finale relish, then dragged tho dish back to tho spot whuro ho found It llungur Commercial. Recently tho dentists of St. Louis havo begun to employ young women as office assistunts. Probably a doicn are thus employed. They aro paid from $) to 910 a week. Among other things, it is their duty to assist In bracing tlie norves of patients. Ono of them says: "If the patient Is a woman I frequently stand by her sldo and hold her hand sympathetically. Somo people may laugh at this, but It's an lmiiienso help to tho person In tho chair. Once or twice when a very norvoua man was being operated on I have taken his band, and it really braced bis norvo wonder fully." A young poet, not averse to letting Strangers know that he was a poet, was one day In tho country with a party of friends. Stopping for some milk at an humble farm-house, they suw an old lady weaving a rag-carpet on an old fashioned loom In a small out-building. Several of tho party had never before seen a rag-carpet woven, among the number tho young poet. After watch ing tho process for several inifutes, ho said, In a putronlzini tone: "That looks simple, but I daro say, grandmother, I could write a poem easier than I could weave a yard of that carpet." "Like enough," replied tho aged weaver, simply, with no intention of placing the young man in an embarrassing position before hiM friends, "like enough, sir; for, after all, It takes somo brains to do this." Youth's Companion. FORCE IN SILENCE. How John Itaiidolpli llrfenlcd Csniulxdl, the Hrnlcli Loulilun. In palntlnir tho (treat picture ot the sacrifice of Iphigonia the artist it is said, exhausted the emotions of grief and honor in the faces of tho bystanders. "He has left nothing unsaid. How can he depict her father's sorrow'?" asked anxiously his friends who wore watching tho development ot the picture. He threw a mantle over Aga memnon's face. Tho blank silence was more effective than any pictured woo. One of the most extraordinary effects produced by absolute silence is recorded in tho reports of a convention in which the foremost men of Virginia took part. John Randolph had a measure to carry In which he looked for tho opposition of Alexander Campbell, afterward foundci of a largo sect a man then noted for his scholarship and power in debate. Randolph had never seen the Scotch logician, but he bad beard enough ot him to make him and his partisans un easy. When, therefore, the gaunt stranger first rose to speak in the con vention, Randolph looked at him with such an air of alarm as to attract the whole attention of the convention, and as be glanced around seemed to be ssk liff tot sympathy In his coming defeat lie then composed himself to listen la rapt attention. Campbell, aware of this by-play, hesi tated and lost the thread of bis argu ment Randolph's face by turns as he listened expressed weariness, indiffer ence and finally unspeakable contempt Ue leaned back and yawned. Campbell sat down hastily. He bad lost the whole force of his speech. Not a word had been spoken, but he was defeated. Youtt's Companion. THE FOOT'S ANATOMY. Why It Should He Couriered In the Se. lectins ol Nlioe. A skillful anatomist says that if we worn shoos day and night our feet would become permanently and hope lessly diseased, but the airing and chat) ire they get while we sleep keep them In tolerable condition. "The human foot is merely a hand modified for a base of structure to sup port the Ixxly." It is longer and thicker and narrower than tho hand. Its solid parts are firmer that tho corresponding parts of the hand; the movable parts less movable than those of tho hand. The foot has two arches; ono from front to rear ooinpNod of eight bones, and another from sldo to sldo couiNised of four. These arches, on ac count of the cartilages interposed between tho segments that compose them, are flexible and give elasticity to the step and gracefulness to tho gait The largest bono In tho long arch of the fisii is the heel bono, and to this is attached tho largest tendon In tho body. In this tendon the three muscles which .'om pose the calf of tho leg and which ire of tho greatest value to us in the ict of walking unite. The more nearly tho shoo approaches the form of tho foot the easier it will be to walk In. High heels aro nothing but in Injury, not to tho foot alone, but to he whole lsidy. They flex tho three mimics In tho calf ot tho leg that give Tec mess of tho body, throw tho weight if the body on to tho ball of tho foot brow tho knees forward, and put the a hole mechanism out of poise. This is veil undersUMsl by lovers of fluid sports nd athletics, whoso shoes have hardly iny heels at all. Tho earliest form of foot cover was .he simple sandal, secured to tho foot by hongs, and often by a button, coming s'tween tho first and second toes. The naterlal used for shoes and sandals Is various, eh icily tho skins of animals. iVoodcn shoes aro much worn in Europe, md are liecomlnir common In this coun try. Tho Japanese wear sandals ot tiraw, and South Americans, in some localities, sandals of plaited hemp. The arly t! reeks went barefoot, or wore sim ple sandals; tho Romans wore buskins, dmllar to the moccasins ot tho American Indians. The skillful shoemaker or shoo-flttor diould understand tho anatomy of tho foot as well as tho art of making shoes, and ho should bo able to fit each shoo to tho foot that Is to wear It but probably not ono shoemaker In a million ever dis sected a human foot with a view to learning how s'lties should be made. Wo never think of working with our hands when they aro gloved, and all we ask of a glove Is that It neatly lit tho hand when at rest But wo never think of walking any distance In unshod foot and what wo want of shoes Is not cover- ing only, but aid in locomotion. Many a shoo Is comfortable enough whon one Is sitting still that becomes excruola ting when ono walks In It Room is not given for the play of tho various muscles of the foot, tho arches aro pressed out of shape, tho circulation Is obstructed, and the exercise of walking, which should ho delightful, U'comes intolerable, and tho guit which should bo graceful and cosy lH'comes limping and awkward. Judging from tho number ot mis sbax'd feet one sees when traveling on tho horse-cars and crossing the ferries, where tho feet ot wayfurers aro exposed to view thorn is a great deal of suffering that Is not much talked about and la probably considered Incurable. But It might all or neurly all havo been pro vented but for lll-llttlng shoes. And a great deal of this suffering might bo es caped If misshapen foot wero provided with shoes fitted to them and conformed to tbulr present nuceasitios. N. Y. Advocate. WIT AND WISDOM. (lentus is the Infinite art ot tuklng pains, I'aiiyle. Many a man knows a dollar by sight who does not know Its value. When a keen ear meets a cutting re mark It Is natural that a sharp encoun ter should ensue. Everyman knows how mean he is himself, but Is not absolutely sure about his neighbor; hence his fondness for gossip. Wn have no right to be a cause of disturbance by living In that part ot our nature which tends to Interfere with the happiness or welfaro of our fellow-men. If everybody believed everything that bo heard about everybody else, how much better every man would think himself than every one of his nelghlMirs!- Puck. With us, law Is nothing unless close behind it stands a warm, living public. opinion. Let that dlo or grow Indiffer ent, and tho statutes are waste paper, lucking all executive force. Rural Now Yorker. A slight divergence at the outstart curries the arrow far out of the way at the end. just as a false step in starting gives life a result that is disastrously wide of the mark. To begin well is to begin trim, and with a sure aim. No enjoyment however Inconsider able, is tioiiflnod to tLe present moment A mun Is tho happier for llfo from hav ing mado once an agreeable tour, or liv ed for any length of time with pleasant peoplo, or enjoyed any considerable In. lerval of Innocent pleasnre. Sidney Smith. To men addicted to delights, busi ness Is an Interruption; to such as are oold to delights, business Is an enter, talnmcnt For which reason It was said to one who commended a dull man for his application, "No thanks to him; If he had no business he would have nothing to do."- Stel. The touch of the lightning on the top of the mountain Is only an Instant long, yet It may rend the rocks, and do face tho cliff and leave fissures that cen turies can not fill up. Let no man say that he Is debarred from usefulness by the shortness of his touch with the world. Tho Central West Under no circumstances should the expenses exceed the Income. It Is al ways more profitable to pay "spot cash" than to contract a debt which should not be done unless It Is absolutely una voidable. Never should an Indebted ness be Incurred in anticipation of an expected gain. Expectations are not realizations; the debt Is certain and must be met, but the gain well, "there Is msny a slip." It is the petty details ot life that prove tiresome and wear ns out, rather than the larger. It Is the little affairs that worry and work mischief in the nervous system. Lives of simplicity will secure the most freedom from these details, with consequent ease of mind that Is conducive to health and long life. I "Keeping up with the times" is what ' makes a good many ot the detail ot these modern days. ,