G1UVEIOTE.
Ti,.lM.riemocrt'sTnuilaiion from
.!hHttleof C.ravelotto, m which
kSkpHrt. cenviuced him that
B)ft , nu h'hv l)k on as much as one
fJL bat that thrwU nothing eto to
" ri-ff nieni was mBl' u,,"lc, w
nv theUof a hill covered with
occupy - ...a - thiiiid-r of can
fding-' qiiaclroii of cavalry ap-
h,l inukmS mo grouu:i irem
.mder '1U ll0"f f ,th0ir
his Uiui-
ut;inJHiils giiinmereu in
ion
iho vino poies snone
light. Through the blue air
i r tllO lllOUUlUlll Diiuuo nuiotuu,
iff as they approached from the
like tinv white clouds, (iradu
d,f the air tilled with powder smoke.
K" kittle like a storm, seemed to bo
5in? iowrd thc-butthdiUot
Lt'reeimcnts apjicarcd, followed by
J,ees of artillery; the whole valley
SfiS with troops, and resounded with
touts of command; the aid-do-camps
7 bv on horseback in all directions.
The private soldiers began to whisper to
tiicr "t)ur orders will soon como."
C muttered in anguish of suspense:
it ever going to begin' And it be
jns in awful earnest. tvorybody feds
Soething onigmate, something un
known, drawing nearer and nearer.
Perhaps it is death, for each and
111 of them. In tho fog of
Hke that hides the mil a su.l
Sen thunder burst is hcnrd-il is
, e Prussian artillery rcdesccndingthe
llht Then a crackling like a mighty
kail storm -those are tlie mitrailleuses
?Tnrk Again the earth trembles; tho
.ris convulsed. Something streams
hove their heads. Uurtok looks up. A
pieudent rosu surrounded by a thin
rioud of finnke, npproache shrieking,
lushing, roaring. Tho soldiers cry "A
.hell' shell! ' 11 luslle8 on like a
torro, arrives, falls nd bursts! A
frichtful detonation. The earth seems
tout to burst asunder. Confusion in
the ranks a moment; but at tho order:
"Close up!" every man obeys and takes
his place. Bartek stands in tho front
mV shouldering his rille, with his head
ltd up- and his chin a little forward,
is under drill; but his teeth chatter.
Impossible to move; he must stay
there; he cannot have even tho consola
tion of firing. May and wait! Another
bomb comes whistling then a third a
fourth a tcutii: o..ii ono great gust
the wind sweeps away the curtain of
iiuoke that hides the hill. Tho .French
huve driven away tho Prussian battt-ry
which held it; a French battery now oc
cupies the summit and Bweeps tho val
lfj below with iis mitrailleuses. Out of
the vines at regular intervals rises a
long, immense streak of white smoke;
md 'immediately ufter a vast rash of
detonations. It is the French infantry
who, protected by the artillery, are
opening tire. Now the red trousers and
ml taps can bo plainly seen; tri-eolored
flags aro distinguishable on dillcr
ent parts of the hill. Killo
ihots thicken irregular, rapid, fe
verish firing succeeds. Cannonade
answers fnsilade; the shells pass through
the air in huge curves. Cries are heard
in the vines; from time to tinio tho Gor
man hurrah resounds. Then tho noise
of the fusihtde becomes so frightful that
one wants to stop his ears. Ncvertao-'
, less Bartck's regiment does not move a
foot. It is surrounded by tho French.
Kails buzz by like cook chafers or whistle
like thrushes. Their number steadily
increases; they whistle close by heads,
eyes, noses, shoulders. There aro thou
lamls, millions a voritablo hail. Be
hind Bartek or close by him every mo
ment some one moans: "0, Lord Jesus "
-then is heard the "brief command:
"Schlicss" (close up!) Then again:
"Itsouss." And then again "Schliess!"
Finally nothing is heard behind, before,
in front, but groans, dying gasps: the
bri"? (ommand is heard continu
ously; the dead heap up higher with
every new crash of ritle volleys, and the
imoke hides tho hill. It is tho l ay of
the l ast Judgment.
"Are you afraid!" nsks 'Woitok of
Bartek,
"Yes; how can one be not afraid" he
answers.
Tliey are still on their feot, and the
idea has not yet fully impressed them
that one of those little leaden balls
might throw them to tho ground. Bar
tek lies. He is not half so much afraid
a he wants to appear, lie is only
thinking of the awful punishment he
would receive for trying to run away
those men fear discipline more than
death itadf Bartek does not soe tho
real horror of the battle. Still he he
ps to think tint he might possibly get
tilled. Ho ventures to transmit this
thought to Woitek.
"The world won't perish because there
one fool less on it," answers Woitek
in vexed tone
These words calm Bartek at once; yes,
the great question is to know whether
the world is all right or not, isn't it!
to he remains there shouldering his
rifle, without thinking of anything in
particular, though ho feels the sweat
Pooring down his forehead. Still the
nfle tire becomes heavier. New regi
ments of the line come to the assistance
the French; the Poles aro falling
luster and faster. It is no longer pos
Jjhle to move the dead and wounded.
The tri-colorcd flags draw nearer; the
jialade lecomes still more murdorous
jo Bartck's comrades; they keep falling,
Ming one after the other. The mi n de
ipair. But with the increase of their despair
nie i nurmiirs of impatience and rage.
u tho soldiers were onlv told to ad
duce, they would rush upon the French
wild beasts. But they are still
wdcred to wait patiently. One soldier
torows his helmet on the ground, crying
out:
"This is good enough for dogs, not
ior men tidg is dying like dogs:"
The outcry calms Burtek down so
he has no more fear at all. Why,
"O'diers ate dying like dogs, it is only
jwsuse nothing serious has yet oc
"red: Still he would like to have
? J really hard battle. His regiment,
""en has not fired a single shot, is al
half destroyed. Bavarians and
rons fleeing in disorder; but the I ol-
men of larzmo and of Nicsezesny
4Te teen so thoroughly moulded by
wat iron Prussian discipline that they
rTi fs though nailed to the ground,
wt ie ty little, however, the ranks Le
M to quiver; another second, and even
g iron chain or that discipline must
J!- The ground under their feet is
J1 arm and wet with blood. Their
cannot close up; so high the
jPses are heiped in the gaps. There
.r?wln8 n the ranks:
evebcen taken to a slaughter
"Xone of us will ever see home
IVr l11' rlnihes Vieh!" ("Silence, you
ro brutes!") thunders an officer,
yood enough tor you to say that
behind us!"
"oid. rFreche Kerl f (Who is
"undrel that l"
soldier begaa to utter in a loud
the prayer, "To thy sovereign
And Iinrtek continues:
"rtu ll.e.O !y Mrgiu!" And all
Him sold ers . follow hi. example: HV
CCvtZ ,,r-,ym, ,l01
Kvidently the Virgo Mary must have
neim that p:ts;oiutie praver, for inline
"lately mi aide-de cami. 'iirrive.nl full
ai,cj.;n l tiie colonel gives the com
niiina, "iis bayonets, forward, hur
rah . In onestond overy bayonet is
lived; nnd what is left of the regiment
deploys into a long black line, which
;harge.s up tho vine covered hill at a
douuio qui k. They aro only 2()o yards
away trorn the enemy, and they
udvanc-) un.ler a murdorous fire V.U
ihey not all jierish, even to tho lat?
'dl t!,cy not turn the.r ba-ks, throw
'town their arum, and lly; Never'
.l;o men will die a hundnnl times
r.ithyr than desert. Ah! the PrusMans
know well what air to plav to those
'O.isi peasmits. Her through the
tliiiii L is of the cannou.,!o, of the furi
ous fusiindo, rings the iiiumc of the
i russian bugles:
" "No; I oland is not dead"
(Jeszeze r,ilka nil ?ginela)
. Hurrah!" roar the soldiers and thev
catch up the thant.
"l'oki my zyjemo-"
("Whib we shall live-"
And at tho foot of tho hill, old Stein
met , smoking his porcelain pio, mut
tered: -dnly play the rascals that tune,
and thev 11 have the liili in Hv. ,:.,,...
T hey don t joke, those fellows. Ah: h i
mere s somo line tmvunet work up th.re
now." r
A BALAKLAVA RELIC.
Onnofths Heron of tlivt Fnu t'lmrg
Turns I p In Kt. I.mna.
William Yates, of St Louii. was a
member of the Seventh Hussars, tin.
der the command of the Earl of CardU
gan, which was engaged in the prin
ciple battles of tho Crimea.
In speaking of theHalaklava charge,
Mr. Yates said: "It was a terrible
battle; through jealousy of the other
troops our brignde had been accused
of neglecting importunities from the
indecision and ovor-caution of our
londi-rs, and naturally wo were stung
and declared that at the first opportu
nity we would show tho world that we
were not too good to fight Our work
for somo time previous had been that
of skirmishing and foraging.
' Our work in this direction wns
perhaps bolter appreciated by the
Russians than by our fellow soldiers,
lis on one occasion our company cap
tured 1,600 Cossacks who were guard
ing a supply train of 150 wagons of
bread; this nnd a few minor events
embittered the Russians against the
Seventh Hussars, and when Lord Rag
lan's order to charge was received tho
danger of the attack was fully real
ized, but, with a determination t"
overcome tiie prejudice against it, we
started on that memorable charge, our
commander some distance in tho lead.
When our colors cume into view the
enemy quickly concentrated the firo of
their batteries directly upon us, with
what deadly effect Is well known.
Only fifty of the fiOO returned in
the saddle. In the half hour's
work the field was strewn with
our command; 4.50 were deud and over
liK) wounded. I was among the latter,
with a shattered leg and unable to
drag myself from tho field, being pin
ioned to the ground by the remains of
four horses!"
Mr. Yates exhibited several sears
which he received in the battles of
Sebastopol, a bayonet wound in the
hand, a shot on the lower jaw, an in
jured eye caused by the splinters of
two balls meeting in mid-air nnd a leg
badly sea'Trd from the pull down.
Baring his left arm, Mr. Yntes showed
' Cardigan's Jolly Boys" plainly tat
tooed thereon, nnd with a far-away
look the sleeve of the other arm rolled
up bringing to view the Tower of the
Malakoff neatly pictured on the fore
arm. "I can tell you something about
that," ho snid. "During the long
siege before. tho capture of the Russian
fortress, when fever and starvation
were thinning our ranks, we passed
many a dreary day in tattooing one
another. You see the lower part of
the fort Is not quite finished; my
ehiim' nnd I were silting In our tents;
ho had drawn the picture, and I had
nearly completed the puncturing when
a shell demolished our tent and the
final charge coming soon after, in
which my poor 'chum' mot his fate, it
was not and never will be finished."
Mr. Yates was born in London fifty
seven years ago. coming to this coun
try twenty-five yenrs ago, nnd is now
an American citizen, prouder of his
iilleginneo to the United States than
of his eventful war career. St. Louis
Post-Dispatch.
---
Where Suril ne Come From.
Wo are prono at times to boast of our
sardine-packing industry in this coun
try, but it should be borne in mind, for
the sake of accurate knowledge, that, as
a matter of fact, we have no sardine
packing industry in this country. We
pack a great many boxes of a little fish
which is a species of shrimp, and pour
: otton-seed oil over it, and people buy
and eat them under the delusion that
they aro eating sardines dressed in
olive oil. The only genuine sardines
ire taken on a few sections of the coast
of Kurope, and tho French canncrs have
nearly monopoly1 the market by es
Vthlishing a reputation for the absolute
xenuineness of their fish and oil, and by
their careful, thorough method of pack
in?, which preserves the exquisite
flavor. (!ood Housekeeping.
Old Mr. Widower tad been sitting
dlent.lv alone with Miss Autumn foi
alM.iit fifteen minutes. Finally be spoke:
MiAs Autumn, you are pretty " "0.
Mr Widower!" "You are pret r
How can you, Mr. Widower?" "1
sUrted to say that you are pretty
1) vou horrid man. stop!" "Condemn
it ail, woman," shouted Mr. Widower
rising and breaking for the door,
wanted to say that you were pretty nra.
as old as I am. Now, demnie. I think
you're twice as old."-San Franci-.cc
Examiner.
Governor Ross, formerly of Kan
sas and one of the United States Sen
itors who stood by Andrew Johnson
in the impeachment proceedings. Is
sow employed as a printer in the oir.ee
if the Santa Fe New Mexican.
-When ready to serve a jelly or
cream that has been set in a mold, set
the mold in tepid water, or wrap
arm cloth about the mold for a mo
ment This will loo"1 the jelly.
PERSONAL AND IMPERSONAL.
Mrs. O.ioar Wilde is ono of the
most popular women orators in En
gland. Mr. John Wanamaker pays ftW,.
000 in taxes Into the municipal treas.
uiyof rhlludelphin. His real estate
In the city is assos8od at :l.,VX).0iK).
R. P. Crockett, tha youngest son
of the famous Davy Crockett, Is a resl.
dent of Granbury, Tex., the county
seat of Hood County. Ue Is seventy
three years old.
In Chicago the other day a lawyer
named I). L. Carmlchaol, being ill nnd
unable to appear In court in an im
portant suit, his wife, who is not a
lawyer, took bis placo and conducted
the case throughout, winning golden
opinions from all concerned.
Mrs. Maria M. Dean is a homeo
pathic physician who took an olllco in
Helena, Mont, three year ago. Her
Income Inst year was in the neighbor
hood of ( 12,000. She Is a gnduato of
Wisconsin University and from a Hos
ton medical school, and also studied
medicine In Berlin. She is thirty
years old.
Andrew Carnegie, the millionaire
Iron founder, says that he began his
businoss career by swooping out an
office, and that his fellow-sweepers
wore David McCargo, now president of
tho Alleghany Valley railroad; Robert
Pi:cairn, superintendent of the Penn
sylvania railroad, and Mr. Moroland,
oity attorney of Pittsburgh.
J. B. Watson, the Australian
quartz roof king, died recently at
Sydney, at. the age of sixty-four, lie
was a native of Paisley, Scotland, nnd
emigrated with his father's family to
Sydney, and aftorwards to California
and Sandhurst, and finally to the
Bendigo gold mine, whore he mndo n
fortune estimated at 40,000,000. (200,
000.000. "The Alstons, sip, dio wilh their
boots on." This was the constant
boast of the late Colonel Hob Alston,
famous throughout Georgia ns an
editor nnd politician. His grandfather
nnd his father had died that way, and
ono day after ho had made this boast
hn was shot to death. Next day one
of his boys committed suic'de in Wash'
Ington, I). C. Then another son wa
jailed nt Llthonia, Git , with a charge
of murder to his credit
General Boulnngcr, liko a great
many noted men, Is superstitious. He
is careful not to get out of bed on tho
left sido, nnd if his path is crossed by
a block cat he docs nothing of polit
ical importance for twenty-four hours.
His followers recall that on tho day of
his sentence ho recklessly went under
a bidder in front of his house in Port
land place. It is jHimored that he is n
firm bolievor in palm'stry and takes
stock i:i the words of a gypsy who ex
amined his hand and told him that his
chief ambition would one day bo satls-
iled.
"A LITTLE NONSENSE."
For nine women who can mnke a
tart answer one can make a pie speak
for itself. Baltimore American.
Mistress "Mary. I don't liko to
son tliw ilout on Dm furniture." Marv
"All right, mum. l'lj pull down the
blinds." '
Oroido "Gilpin, why Is a clock
like a base-ball player? ' "uilpm "I
give it up." Oroide "Bocauso it
can't strike when it's run down."
Jeweler's W eekly.
Klin "llh mi tnn'h lie ho a l'llst
dreadfully! I don't soe why wo can
not bo born without teeln. lie 'l
think, my hear, that If you will look
up some authority on that point you
will find that most of us are." Omaha
World.
Mrs. Gabby "It Is shocking, the
way that Mrs. Sharps bosses hor bus
Imnd Thu nnnr mitn can hardly call
his soul his own." Mr. Gabby "Don't
you say a word against that lady,
Maria; she refused me ten years
ago!" Time.
Young' man," said the long
haired passenger to the occupant oi
the sont ahead, "do you know that I
have never spent a dollar for liquor in
my whole lire? ' "Keallyf responded
the young man, turning half way
round, with a look of (Treat interest on
his Tacc, -How do you work It?"
Life.
Baxter "Is Slowgo boarding at
your hotel now?' Mixby "Ao; anu.
say, I feel nwful sorry for that fellow.
He can't got a boarding place to suit
him." Baxter "What's the matter?
U he too particular?" Uixby "No
it'a not that: but vou know ho stutters
dreadfully." Baxter "What's that
irnt to do with it?" Bixby "Why, he
stutters so that at raoal times, by the
timo he can toll tho waller what he
wants, every thing has got cold."
America.
Mr. Lenz f photographer) "I
have not for a long time, had so good
a sitter a9 you are. The expression is
exactly right How did you gain such
control over the faciul muscles? Are
you an actor?" Mr. Rhodslor "No.
gir." Mr. Lenz "Well, well! Per
haps you are a bicyclist?" Mr. Rhod-Htcr-Yes.
I am." Mr. Lenz "Ah
that explains it! It comes from riding
the machine on stone pavements and
trying to look as though you enjoyed
It "-Puck.
Accommodation In Oklahoma City.
-Clerk (of Hotel Vendome, to newly
arrived guest) "I'll put you right in
here; finest room In the house, sir;
the bridal chamber." Guest "Yes,
yes. I see. Can I got a towel?"
Cleric" yes, sir; we have all i he
modern conveniences here. sir. Yes.
sirree! Hop Sing ought to bring in
the towels by to-morrow; send you
one soons they come, sir. Any thing
eVe'-Puck.
President Diaz. during the four
years of his administration in Mexico,
has rendered substantial services W
science by encouraging archn ologifal
instigation and taking measures for
the preservation of ancient ironu
ments and historical remains. '!
ruins or Xochicalco and the pyramids
of Teotihuacan have been explored
and the searchers rewarded by many
Interesting discoveries. An archa-o-ogleal
map of the Republic hns been
made and the palaces of Mitla In
closed, for their preservation, by a
great wall
THE INTREPID REPORTER.
Charley Dlrlil' tViinilirful Tart, X,-rr
ami rr"Mi' Mlii'l.
That tho newspaper readers of tho
United States pot the new of the hang
tag of Kiel at Uegina, X. V. T., in lss.-,,
in advunee of the Canadian press is duo
to a cocktail. Charles Diehl, war cur
respondent of the Chicago 'rimes until
lsstt, and then and since ennneeted with
tho Associated Press (ho is now in San
Francisco), was sent to Uegina to do tho
hanging. Tho writer bad jhihIciI him
upon the military red-lap.-ism he would
encounter is the land where tho red
coated mounted police aro as powerful
as they are dictatorial. I barley is a
thoroughly good fellow, and upon ar
rival at Uegina at onco set about mak
ing himself popular. Ills success was
not marked until one day he invited a
DiimtxT of police officers U tako a drink,
and when tho gonial cocktails had been
prepared Charley, before raising his
glass to his Hps, said: "How kola,"
Now this Is the Sioux salutation, and ono
of the principal olUVors immediately
said:
"Whew did you hear that, Mr. Dlehl?"
"When I accompanied (ieneral Terry
In 1877. and we met the mounted police
near Woody mountain."
"The deuco you say," Baid tho officer.
"Why, I was there; and I'll never for
get how nicely your peoplo treated us
all."
The cocktail was repeated amid friend
ly enthusiasm, and Charley could safely
say: "The world (or all ho wanted of
It) Is mino." Ho was not only given
every facility to learn tho time of Kiel's
execution and tho manner thereof, but t
wasallowed to bring his mounted courier j
within tho stockado at the Uegina ;
nlon u-l.l..k la .litt f.,in ,11d fc.m '
the telegraph otllen. Ho wrote up all
the preliminaries to tho timo Kiel don
ni'd the black rap and sent his man
away on tho gallop. Tho courier met
Diehl en routn to town; after hn had
filed his last batch of news, and was
handed the llnls of the account No one
else had taken any such precautions, and
the special correspondents of tho Toron
to, Ottawa and Montreal dailies had to
be contented with very short accounts,
or, worse yet, had to wait until tho next
day.
Dlehl was tho Chicago Times man
who joined the Hges expedition against
Sitting Hull, Gall and Crow King In tho
never-to-bo-forgotten campaign of lsso
81. During that campaign many a night
was spent in tents when tho mercury
was frozen in tho bulb and spirit ther
mometers registered 5'J to S!i degs. he
low zero (Fahrenheit). Enroll to to llu
ford Diehl's driver was prostrated by
cold, and tho plucky correspondent wrap
ped him up as warm as ho could, detached
tho rear hobs from his sled, and tying
his nearly frozen companion to a stake
on the front runners, drovo the outfit
twenty-five miles. Ho was nearly
played out when he reached lluford,
and the driver lost a limb, if I remem
ber rightly, but after ten hours' rest
Dlehl started off for Poplar river, sixty
flvo miles away, and got thern In time
to report tho battle on the Kodwater.
St Paul Pioneer Press.
MANY MILLIONS IN IT.
Til ColiiI Sinm HIonmI In Ilia t'nlted
Ntte Nub-Tri'Kiiiiry.
Thero Is stored at tho United States
Sub-Treasury down In Wall street be
tween $100,(100,000 and $l.r)0,000,(M)0. A
Government officer who had just do
posited a check for 55,000 accepted an
Invitation the other day totako a peep at
the vaults. He presently found himself
in a modorato sized room whoso walls
are honoycomlwd with llttlo closets.
Each of thnso receptacles contains
8500,000 in gold. They are duly sealed
and marked, so that the amount can be
removed quickly on short notice. While
the visitor was present a sulwrdlnate
came In with a modest demand for
Sl,500,0(10, and it was promptly served
out "Hero Is something protty," said
the cicerone of tho occasion, opening
a vault on tho opposite sldo of tho
room. Ilo .thrust In a hand and
drew out a package having tho base
area of a $5 bill and a height of somo
Inches. "How much does it contain, do
you suppose?" inquired the treasury
official: "You seo It is made up of 310,-
000 bills." The wondering spectator
was staggered when told that the pack
age contained $8,000,000. The Increase
in tho amount of money deposited In
theso vaults during tho past quarter of
a century is something surprising.
When John J. Cisco was the Assistant
Treasurer at this oity, S tO.000,000 or 850,
000,000 was considered a great amount of
money to have In tho vaults at ono timo.
Yet during the administration of C. J.
Canda, President Cleveland's First As
sistant Treasurer, the amount was In
creased to $J 12, 000, 000. So perfect was
tho system that Mr. Canda, in speaking
of this, naively said: "Yes, I suppose I
bad under my charge more money than
was everconfided to one man atone time.
But then it didn't do mo much good.
1 could not have drawn out or embezzled
a single cent of it without somebody
knowing it I could not even enter the
vaults without assistance from a clerk
who carried some oi tho keys." Hut the
responsibility is, nevertheless, vory
large, and weighs hoavily upon tho men
who assume it Very few men care to
take it for any length of timo, and Sir.
Canda, after a few months' trial, re
signed and returned to tho banking bus
iness. Nearly all the mon who have
held this office and remained in busi
ness have found their way into impor
tant banking establishments. This Is
true of Mr. Acton, who Is noW president
of the Bank of Now Amsterdam, and of
Mr. Canda himself, who is cashier of
the Western National Hank, of which
the late Secretary Manning was presi
dent and which is now presided over by
Conrad N. Jordan.who was Treasurer of
the United States at Washington whllo
Mr. Canda was the Assistant Treasurer
here. Krotn a New York Dispatch.
lilnr". Funrral ProcMnlnn.
1 A remarkable funeral procession para
ded the streets of I'eking a few weeks
ago. It was the formal public celebra
tion of tho burial of Tschlng Tsohu a
grand chamberlain and brother-in-law
of Prince Kung. The blor was carried
by eighty men, preceded by forty -eight
flag-bearers, eight camels and twenty
four white horses. One hundred and
Ixtr men followed bearing sixteen rod
planks, on which were painted in many
colored letters trio name anu uues oi
the dead nobleman. The whole pro
cession was a mile and a half long.
Londou Standard.
Dr. Julius Wel-:ner bas made the
discovery that linen rags were used in
the manufacture of p iper as early as the
eighth century. And at that early day
the paper was "clayed" like the modern
arliclo.
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.
Do l!nishe-"Yes, I'm fairly In love
with m work." Slnnlck "Lucliy lover'
You'll never have a rival." Exchange.
It takes a wise man to answer all of
a child's questions; hut a wise man wlli
never try to do lt.-Somervllle Journal.
There Is a great movement on the
part of the anarchists when the bar
keeper olTers to treat to beer. Troy
Press.
A perpet ual motion machine has not
yet been invented, but the tongun of a
seven-year-old boy asking questions
comes tirelty near it. Somervillo Jour
nal. "What is tho usoo' that girl hang
ing away on the piano, Maria'.'" "Prac
tice, John, Practice makes perfect."
"Perfect what pandemonium'.'" Har
per's i'.aar.
lVrrlwink-"Aw. Mr. Hardhead. Is
It trui' that clgawettes affect the bwain?"
Mr. Hardhead "No. Those who have
braini do not smoke cigarettes."
Wife- "James, do you know that
you are a very small r.iiu'.'" Husband -"How
ridiculous! 1 am nearly nix feet
in height." Wife "That makes no dif
ference; whenever I ask you for money
to go shopping you aro always short."
Hoston (ia.ette.
lilufiins "Perfect nonsense! Tho
Idea of the liloaters giving themselves
ulrson account of their ancestry." Mug
plus -"Yes, Why, Clara llloater told
mo tho other evening that their lineage
could be traced to old castile." Hlulllns
"llah! Slio meant Caslllo soap."
America.
Mrs. Hustler (to her husband) "I
certainly wish, dear, that you would
keep up appearances morn nnd dress
hotter. Now look nt Mr. Slasher, who
moves In our set, how stylish he is."
Rustler "You forget, dear, that It was
but recently that Slasher failed."
Clothier and Furnisher.
"Did it ever strike you that dancing
Is slnfrl'.'" Inquired young Dr. Oauche
of an accomplished youmr society woman.
"Well," she responded, a reproachful
look in her eyes, "when I notice the
way somo peoplo dance, it does strike
mo a good deal that way." Washington
Capital.
Extracting amusement from misery.
Mudge "My brother hill was in to seo
mo to-day." Phillips "I never knew
you had a brother." Mudge "I haven't.
I mean the livery bill I Incurred tho
evening Miss illets gavo mo the priv
ilege of being a brother to her." Terre
llauto Express.
Mine. l'liaporono-"Is Mr. a
professional man'.'" Miss Pruo "I don't
know. Mmo. thnperono "Is hn
man of brains?" Miss l'ruo "I don't
know that either." Mmo. Chaperone
"Why, aren't you acquainted with him'.'"
Miss Prue-"Yes, but I've met hint only
In society." Hoston Post,
"Young man," said an old gentle
man to a reporter, "do you expect to
follow your present avocation in the
next world?" "I hadn't thought of
that, sir. Why do you ask?" "Heeause
If you do you ran write up glowing bo
countsof things without being far out of
tho way." Merchant Traveler.
At n rough estimation. First pas
senger (standing In car) "I'm going to
make that man move up and give mo halt
of his seat" Second passenger "lio
slow; that's old Specie. Do you know
what that man Is worth?" First, passen
ger "If pork Is eight cents a pound,
llvo weight. 1 should think he ought to
bo worth SHI easy enough." Puck.
A professor of music demands a
higher standard of merit in theater or
chestras, lie says: "Tho theatrical or
chestra of to-day is regarded by many
managers as a sort of device for killing
time between tho acts." This may be
truo; but some orchestras seem to he
more In the nature of a devlco for kill
ing tho audience between the acts.
Norrlstown Herald.
GIRLS AS GYMNASTS.
They Are UpiMi'M anil Ow-Darlng- In
Their Kiitliuslnmii.
"Girls should never bo allowed In a
gymnasium unless they are in chargo of
a thorough master of callsthonlscs and
gymnastics," said a professor to a re
porter. "It may seem strango to say,
but tho girls aro more daring and much
moro reckless than boys when they got
tho athletic fever. It seems to bo very
catching nowadays.
"Only a short tlnio ago a young lady
camo Into the gymnasium. She had
never been In a gymna'iliira before. As
soon as she got hor suit on sho was try
ing to pull herself up a horizontal bar
and befoio I could stop her she had
strained the tendons in both arms and
couldn't como back to exerciso again
for nearly three months.
"tilrls have to takn a much more sys
tematic training than boys. They are
not so strong and havo to bo treated
moro tenderly. There are hundreds of
ways in which a girl can hurt herself In
a gymnasium unless she is vory careful.
She can strain her arms and hands by
too much exercise at any thing. Sho
can sprain hor back by Jumping to far
on a spring board.
"I havo known girls to sprain tholr
toes In tho running high Jump even
when tho bar was only a foot from the
ground. High-heeled shoes press tho
toes downward and girls who wear them
always land on their toes when they
jump instead of on tho ball of the foot"
"What exorclso should a girl practice
at home?" asked the rejiorter.
"Gymnastics, to be healthful, should
only take a portion of the strength of
one's muscle, and the constant exerciso
of these muscles Is what develops them.
I havo seen some delicate girls exorcis
ing with five-pound dumb-bells, when
some of tho strongest athletes of the
country only use two-pounders. A girl
who wishes to expand her chest can do
so if, each morning after her bath, she
will stand erect fcettogethor, shoulders
back, arms straight down, and take
twenty-five full, deep breaths. Hotter
begin fifteen times tho first week and
then gradually increase it Keep up the
Increase until in reaches the number of
fifty. I!y that time her lungs will be
much stronger and the chest will begin
to expand. A round-shouldered girl can
become straight by moving the arms
backward in regular motions until the
elbows are only a few inches apart Let
the first exercise be twenty times and
Increase It until 1I2A times can be done
without fatigue. The throat can' be
made round and firm by jndicious ex
ercise of the hea'l. I make my throat
pupils throw the head far back and then
forward slowly, and then from side to
side in the same way.
"There is no reason why any girl or
woman not deformed, and about twenty
Ore or thirty years of ago, should not
hare a graceful and well-developed
figure, and gymnasties will givs It to
her, but not unlest ahe is taught them
properly." -N Y. Mail and Express.
LITERARY CELEBRITIES.
MokI uf tin l.rnillnir l.liclit Ari Avers In
f 'nrre.ptiMileiice.
"Heeause writing Is my trade Is no
reason why I should lie expected to fol
low It for pleasure," said Mark Tuuin
to inn oiH'e, and forthwith Die humorist
destroyed several letters lying before
him on his desk. And tills opinion is
apparently shared by not a few of the
famous writers of the day. lin t llarte,
for example, positively refuses to an
swer any but letters of a business nature
or from friends. Tennyson Ignores all
letters without discrimination, except
in rare instances. Kohert Louis Steven
son travels around so much that most of
his letters never reach him, and those
that find him receive but scanty atten
tion. Mr. IIiivm lis is not over-particular
wltli his correspondence, and .lame!'
Kussel LoweUand Kohert Drowning were
oven less so, Oulda lakes pride in say
ing that but ono letter In n hundred
receives reply at her hands. Mrs. Oil
pliant, the English novelist, Is also a
poor correspondent except with her in
timate friends. Frank K. Stockton has
recently formed the habit of answering
letters only after they have been re
peated two or three times, (Jeorge Hun
croft's age prevents him from being at
tentive to a miscellaneous correspond
ence, while the pool Whltllerand Walt
Whitman have been compelled for the
same reason to resort to silence In nu
merous i a-cs. Hut as there are those of
the literary guild who ignore the public
epistles which como to them through thu
mails, there are others w ho answer each
lettf r as If It was tho only ono thoy re
ceive In a single post.
No author is more amiable as a corres
pondent, for example, than is Oliver
W endell Holmes, who answers in some
way or other almost every letter that
finds Its w ay tohlsdesk. Low Wallace Is
likew ise Inclined to answer all letters.
Donald (!. Mitchell derives pleasure
from his correspondence, and, with the
assistance of an energetic wife, replies
In every case. F. Marlon Craw ford and
Henry 'James are both agreeable and
ready letter writers, (ieorgo William
Curl is i both prompt and graceful In
bis responses to all. Among women
Mrs. r.urnett, perhaps the busiest Is
one of the most satisfying of corres
pondents. The two women generally
mentioned in one breath why no one
knows Mrs, Humphry Ward and Mar
garet Deland - avo kindly to their tin
known letter writers. Mrs. Alexander
and "The Duchess," thu two English
popular novelists, Invariably respond
even to the most trivial letters. Schol
arly Amelia II. Edward is brief but
certain In her correspondence. Marlon
llarland Is another whose pen is always
at the coiuieand of those who write to
her. M rs. Custer regards It as a duty to
respond to letters. Harriet Prescott
Spotford alTability of manners extends
toiler coi-resnondenco. KIder Haggard
answers near!'.' all letters by the type
writer, while Max O' Kell devotes two
hours of each day to his mall. Dumas
and Jules Yerno employ secretaries,
and by their assistance quickly diminish
the mail w hich come to them. Taken as
n class, authors aro more burdened with
letters thutt almost any other profes
svmal men and women, yet few aro more
cordial as correspondents.- E. W. Holt,
in Philadelphia Times.
A SCIENTIST'S JOKE.
I lew I'rcif, Coiik Makes Ills Freshman
('! I eel Very I'lirouiliirtulile.
Prof. Cook, of Harvard College, Is one
of the most popular instructors in the
university. Every freshman has a
course in chemistry under tho venerabh
scientist. Hut It tho course were not
prescribed it is likely that his classes
would bo fully as largo as they now are.
An hour In his experiment room is like
attending an entertainment. He mukei-
things lively' in the most approved
"college-celebnitlon" fashion with his
explosions, burning chemicals mid other
lire works experiments. Tho professor
lias spent a good many years over his
:Tiieiblcs, retorts and receivers, and his
hand trembles visibly when ho picks up
any of his apparatus or Instruments.
Ono of his lectures Is devoted to danger
ous explosives, and a stir always goes
over the room when ho picks up a not
tie labeled nlti'o-g.lyccrlun. His smile
Is us Innocent us u child's, and It roveuls
tho most genial and sympathetic nature
in Harvard Collegu, Whim he picks up
tho botllu and holds It up, the yellow
liquid stirring with tbn shaking of his
hand, he always says something like
this: "Now, gentlemen, It Is commonly
believed thut If I wero todrop this If tie
hodtlnwe should all bo blown to Hu
skies his bund trembles a llttlo more
and timid freshmen look longingly at
the door; but If this compound Is pure,
perfectly pure, mind you, 1 can light a
match with perfect safety and thrust It
dow n tho neck of tho bottle." Here ho
feels for a match. "Hut," ho instantly
adds, "I am free to oonfess that I have
not enough contlilence In Its purity to
try the experiment " (Many sighs ol
relief and one of tho professor's divine
smiles), N, Y. Tribune.
. .
Home Kmiioun Farmer Ha):
How many Presidents and other prom
inent men were born on the farm: Wash
ington, Adams, Monroe, Andrew Jack
son, Van Huron, Tyler, Polk, Taylor,
llucharinn, Lincoln and (iarfleld were
all born on farms. Jay (lould was a
country boy who came to town with a
patent mouse trap. Henry Ward lleecher
was a leunlry boy who loved farm life
all his days; William M. Evnrts came
from a farm In Vermont; Chauncey M.
Depew used to run barefoot around
lYckskill till Vamlerbilt took a fancy
to him; Whitcluw Held Is from Ohio,
and was thirty years riddjng his hair ol
hayseed; lie Wkt 'J'aluiage first expand
ed Ills lungs calling to an vx team; Sun
set Cox hoed potatoes as a lad on his
father's farm near Zancsvllln, O.; Abram
S. Hewitt was a rosy country lad, whoso
garments wore made by the vlllngo
seamstress when bo first went to New
York; Thomas C. Plait was born on s
farm; so was L. M. Hates, who gothls
first commercial training in tending a
cross-roads store; Addison Cammack was
raised on a plantation; so was Tom Och
iltree. The list might, bo continued in
definitely, Pittsburgh Dispatch.
A ( limine of Hentliwnt.
"Mr. Kinks, would you like to rock
the baby to sleep?"
"Not much."
"Well then, I'll rook hi m while you
go up stairs and get my pockotbook
from my dress.
"I think I'd like to rock the baby."
Morchant Travelor. t
"l regret to say, genu," said Mr.
Johnson, stopping the dance In "part
ners to the center," "de loe cream man's
here, but ho won't leave de viand till
he's paid, an' as all my cash us los' in
the nnx' room on do dice, ef It Is de
wish o' do comp'ny dat do ice cream be
lef, It'll be my juty to collnc' a small
mm from each gent. New York Sun
The Sandwich Islander's pipe Is
made of virgin cork lined with uieor
senium and is curious by reason of the
pattern on the cork mad by the insects
that feed on the trees. It Is like dU
eat lace work.
SCIENCE AND INDUSTRY.
In the purest air subieeted to Uist
for tho causes which produce the dim
ming effect of ht.e there were about
lll.noo dust particles found In each cublo
Inch.
- In tanning by electricity the ordi
nary tan liquid Is employed, and the
bides revolve slowly through it, while the
irrent from a dynamo traverses the
vat and helps thn tannin to comblno
with the gelatine of the skin.
When Sir J. Horschol was defending
the character of astronomical science in
view of un error of nearly 4,0XK),()00 miles
In estimating the sun's distance the cor
rection was shown to apply to an orrorof
observation so small as to be equivalent
to thn apparent breudlh of a human hair
at a dlsiarco of 125 feet
A new sott of boot solo has boon
Introduced In Nuremberg, consisting of
a sort of trellis of spiral metal wire, and
tho Interstices being filled with gutta
percha and rosin. They can bo fitted
with nails liko ordinary soles, are Utty
percent, cheaper than leather and vastly
more durable.
Slgnor Schlaporelll, the eminent
astronomer of Milan, after ton years of
careful observation, has settled the point
that Mercury has a rotation exactly liko
that of the moon; that Is to say, Its rota
tion on its ow n axis and around the sun
synchronize so that It always lurns the
sume side to tho sun, just as the moon
docs to the earth.
Dr. Dubinskl.of Kronsladt (Russia),
reports that within the last ten years
thirty ruses have como under bis ob
servation of a peculiar ophthalmic a flec
tion occurring in young sailors whoso
duty hud obliged them to remain and
sleep In tho vicinity of olectrio lights.
He calls tho affection "photo-electrical
ophthalmia." It invasions partial blind
ness and renders light Intolerable. hat
Is most singular is that sleop appears to
be an indispensable condition for the
manifestation of photo-electrical op
thnlmia. One of the most striking of the Edi
son exhibits, at tho Paris Exposition,
was tho little instrument which enables
an iqsirator to sign a cheek one hundred
miles distant. Tho w riting to bo trans
mitted is impressed on soft paper with
an ordinary stylus. This Is mounted on a
cylinder, which, as It revolves, "makes
and breaks tho eleclrlo current by
means of the varying Indentations on
the paper. At the receiving end of the
wlro, a similar cylinder, moving in accu
rate synchronism with tho othor, re
ceives the current on a chemically pro
pared paper, on which it transcribes tho
signatures in black letters on a whlto
ground.
A curious and notoworthy Instance
of foundry work Is reported. It con
sisted of throe, plates of cast-Iron about
one-fourth of an Inch, and seven by flvo
Inches In surface, covered with writing
Indented In tho Iron. The Impression
on thn Iron is made by writing on thin
paper, pinning the paper in the mold,
and then pouring on tho Iron. Tho
writing thus transferred to the plates
when the Iron Is cooled is wonderfully
clear and distinct nnd Is so deeply
Imprinted as to defy any attempt at
erasure.
roiTPuf"Tdaho.
I iw the Territory M m Named for a l.lltla
Indian Ulrl.
In thn autumn of lSOS I resided in
Twenty-second street, New York. A
tenlal fellow-boarder was a gentloman
f about forty-flvo years, who was put
ting some mining stock on thn market
His name was Colo, and he claimed the
distinction of having for his initials
three l"s C. C. Cole of being ono of
the first members of Congress from tho
new State, and of receiving the largest
mileage ever paid to a mem nor of Con
gress, over $111,000, his mllengo being
computed from Idaho to San Francisco,
thence (around tho Horn) by way of
New York to Washington. lie was a
pioneer from New York, and for a time
kept a trading store at Fort Walla Walla,
One evening thn strango namo of tho
new Stat" beenmo a subject of com
ment, and Mr. Colo gavo mo the follow
ing account of how the namo came to bo
adopted, and also the selected meaning,
or rather thn meaning whhjh he and
others concluded to give as the Indlun
word's translation. One bright morning
about ten o'clock, In company wit it en
other gentleman Interested In tho gov
ernment of the Territory, whllo riding
over somo barren mountain tops, or
rather hills, tho road became so rough as
to compel the slowest traveling. As they
plodded on tho name for the new State
became a topic for conversation. While
talking over thn various names that had
been suggested they enmo to the top of
a small plateau, on the farther edge of
which stood an Indian hovel or cabin.
The niter loneliness of the spot sug
gested to the travelers they came upon
the hlding-pluee of some outlaw, of
whom tho country then houstod a great
number. Just before they reached, but
whllo In plain view from tho cabin, an
Indian woman esme nut and called out
several times in a high-pitched, far
reaching voice the word Idaho. The
tone was a combination of those of the
Swiss yodeler, the Spanish Indian and
Louisiana negroes, and, as was supposed,
a call to the squaw s husband. Tho
sound of the voice as given by Mr. Colo,
and ho bad been familiar with the
Indians for some years, was Ea-dah-hoo-oo-oo
a drop from the first E to the sec
ond, a long A, almost as if ah-ah, and a
musical, long-drawn-out dwelling upon
the hisi, using the full force of the lungs
In expiration and crescendo.
Thn squaw's call was answered by tho
sudden appearance of an Indian girl
about nine years of age. She was clean
and better looking than most of her
race. The Inference of both Mr. Cole
and his companion was that Idaho was
the girl's name, and the Idea of adopt
ing it as the name of the new State oc
curred to both men at about the same
time, Mr. Cole claiming to bo the first
to speak.
All efforts to find tho English of the
word resulted in failure; and finally, in
consideration of the sex and surround
ings of the Indian whoso name had
helped solve the difficulty In finding
one for the State, that of "gem of the
mountains" was decided upon. The
real meaning of the word Mr. Coin never
knew. As the Indians name their chil
dren from physical peculiarities or cir
cumstances occurring at their birth, and
as the child was born about daylight
the translation of "light of the mount
ains" was first deemed a good ono, but
Its fitness a a name for the State bad
to give way to the more appropriate one
of "gem of the mountains," which was
given to Congress as the translation of
the Indian word.
I narrate the tale as I got It from Mr.
Cole, and add what at the time, I sug
gested to him that the State erect a
monument on the spot where the name
was selected and as amendment that
Joaquin Miller, the poet of the Siorras,
write the Inscription.- '