Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 25, 1888)
OF GENERAL INTEREST. Cocaine U mild to bo worso than alcohol und opium put together- Jt completely destroys u man's will power. Tho town of Kalamazoo, Mich., hart niado arrangements with a restau rant keeper to feed trump at tho rate of sixty cents r dozen. Tho ji'h1 i length of Lake Mich igan Ih IKK) miles; iu greatest breadth, 108 niilos; mean depth, GDI) foot; eleva tion, 600 foot; area, 1,000 square miles. t A horse at Fitehburg that had worked for many years in a coal team wbm Mold, and his new ownor put him With another horse to draw Hand, but ho refused to work anywhoru, und had to Ik) returned to bis former owner. As soon aH he was put In a coal team all trouble ended. i A Maine telegraph messenger took m telegram tho othor day to an old gentleman seventy years old, who never hiul seen such a thing before. The llrxt thing he did was to read the printed regulations on the top of the blank, ami it teok Mm five minutes to got to the message. i The Mormons are reported to have takim possession of all the bout Hgri- nultunvl limdrt in Arizona. While the pwedy Gentiles are looking' up the minrriil districts, the Mormons have dulotly gone in and taken up the land adapted to farming purposes. The Mormon incline to ho a pastoral people. J Anions the recent mechanical cu riosities are a scarf-plo with a bird's head Hint, art you examine it, Is made to twitter by pressure on a conovnle:! rubber ball; and a bicycle, with wheels six und a half feet in diameter, be tveen which tho rider sits on tho.oon- HlM'tlll.' axle. The femalo employes of the Gov ernment Printing Office and of the Murium of Engrsvlng at Washington do all kinds of work, dirty as well bh clean. They help manage the presses, their sleeves are rolled up high above tholr uIImiws, tnd their plump, round arms receive many an ink spot during the day. About 1,300 women are em ployed in the two otllces, and colored women work side by sldo with white women without clashing. WTillo running a line recontly through Southeast Georgia into Flor ida, with a view of connecting some point on the Kant Tennessee, Virginia & Georgia railroad with Jacksonville, the engineering party killed more than ono hundred largo moccasin snakes, some of which contained In tholr stomachs largo numliers of fish, while in one was fouud a squirrel. More than fifty alligators were also killed, and a bear and a panther. A San Francisco nautical journal, in recording the death of an old sea captain, speaks of him In the following novel style: "Captain B. M. Sharp has gone up aloft, where he can now live mining the stars he loved to speak rlwuit No more lunar observations nor plain-sailing will tho old man lay out to aspiring young captains or mates, He has let go his anchor, the cable is out to thu bur end, and that has sllpcd through the hawser hole," A plant grows in Mlxteoa, Mexico, which the natives call the "herb of prophecy." A dose of It produces sleep similar in nil respects to 'the hypnotic state. The subject answers with closed eyes questions that aro put to lilin, and Is completely insensible Tho pnthologlo state brings with It a kind of prophetic gift and double sight. Furthermore, be Iosoh his will, and Is completely tinder the control of another. On returning to himself ho remembers nothing of what ho has done, x Fifteen years ago Blgley Smith, who had Imhi for sovoral years la Chi lumhua, Mexico, returned to his homo in llonry County, Alabama, so tho story goes, with a twolvo-inonths'-old girl baby, which he asked bis mother to rear and educate, as ho intended making hor his wife when sho reached wonmnliood. Ho, then returned to Mexico, wboro bo remained till a wook or two ago, when ho again revisited his home. He found that his mother's charge had grown tip to bo a beautiful young woman. She had been kept In ignorance of his relations toward her, and when he projioscd marrlago to hor khe acceded and they wore wedded. Two of a Kind. "I saw sin h a beautiful sky this af ternoon," ho said, dreamily, as they tat and innde love together. "Was it blue?" she Inquired, eagerly. "Yon, lovo, with a delicate white fleece," "And, oh, Harry, did It have lovely, soulful eyes and a dour little cunning black noser"1 "I am talking of a heavenly blue sky," ho said, gravely. "That's the kiud, tloarl Oh. won't you try to get it for mo? I'm just dying to have a bluo skyol They aro ueh sweet jts," Iklroit Frw iYw.i Mishop Matthew Simpson, It Is said, never refused to see a caller, no mutter how trivial his business might bo. Ho made tho study of men his specialty, and so profound was his knowledge of the subject that he was constantly consulted by people outsldo as well as lnsldo the Church, and no one sought his advice more eagerly than Abraham Lincoln. The predominating color of Mors Is red, while of our planet It is green. When the sons of Belial, overflown with insolence and wine, wander forth wo call It painting the town red Wonder what the people of Mars call It? IStttburgh Commercial Uaull. BURDETTE'S ADVICE. Jhe Kind or Phllooibv WMoh Mitko Mull liappjr, Loving- and Coiitenteil. I turn ovor the loaves of an old note book, the pagos of which I filled ia!f scom of yeari ago. 0.1 ono pao I Ibid this notot "My books are all wrinkled mid II 1 1 ml with era nibs of nmiilu and umnch lofivos, with horo and there a forgotten forest loaf clinging to tho printed one. Ah, well I soma lime I may kiss the wrinkled rage of niv choicest book, while 1 think of the dear, whlln hands thnt laid tho ninplu leaves in history or lexicon, und th ink G id Hint tho page is wrlnklod and the en graving discolored." And now, whtnoror I turn to that psgo In tho note-book,' do you knoiv, my boy, how glad I am that I wrnto nbout the leaves as I did? Tliure was no shadow of f oar or drond over my little homo then. Thcro was no tea- Kim why . I should fool so tenderly toward tho leaves and stems that stained and wrlnklod my books, mid ever kupt nto from using them for a week at a time, wits tin-re? Ah! In deed thore una . ludivd tlioro was. Because loruTs bolter than book's my boy. Bocanso your books, my son, though you crowd (ho liiernrtr Irons li res of the world upon your" shelves, ran never rr.iop into your heart ns your wifu will, some day, when you find the girl whom the g.uU have do-cr-'d shall crown your. Iioi. Be cause we should alw iy hold tun lienris that love lis iioaror to us thnn the petiy iiiyioyniicns and littlo ills of this I. fa B'cniiHo the quick, hasty word you spunk in ill-temper or mi gcnlloiiess to-day, my bo, lonvos a sting In your heart to rankle half a con i n ry awny. Been u so to-day, if 1 could, I would burn no every book thcro is in all this world just to fuel the little hands that laid those leavos In tho pages whoro I ssld thoy must not go, clasp thomsnlvus about my nock for ono hour. Hold your tongue and your pen. my boy. Every lima rbu aro tomptod to say an ungenllu word, or write nn unkind line, or say a menn, ungrnclotis thing about any body, just toe; look ahead Iweuty-flre years, and think how it may como back to you thon. Lot iiio tell you how I wrlto mean lotiurs and blttor editorials, my boy. Some 1 1 nfc, when a man Imi pitched Into mn and "cut me sp rough," und I want to pulverize him, and wear his trorv scalp nt my girdle and hung his hldo on my f moo, I wrlto the lettor or editorial that is io do tho business. I write something that will drive sloop from his eyos and punee from liU soul for s x wook. Oil, I do hold him ovor I slow fire and roast him. Gull and nqiiafoi'lis drip from my blistering pen. Than, I don't mail the letter and I don't print the editorial. I horo s alwnys plonty' of time to crucify a man. Tho vilest criminal is lutitlod to a littlo roprluvo. I put the iiia'insci'lit away In a drawor. Next lav I look nt iu The ink Is cold; I rend It ovor and sayt "I don't know ibout this. There's a goo I deal of bludgeon and bowie-knifj Journal ism in that. I'll hold it ovor a day longer." The next day 1 road it igiitn. I lnuIi, ami say "Pshaw I" sml I onii foul my chocks gntilng i ail Iu hot. J lie fact Is, I am isli;inin,l that 1 fvor wioto it, and 1 hope that nobo ly has son it, tnd I bare half forgotten tho r''clu or lutiorlhiit lillod luysoul wllli rage. 1 mivon l uouii Hurt, I liaveu t :iurl any body, and tho world goes right aonq;, making twenty-four hours ' id iv ns usual, mid I am all tho uap- ,iir. Try it, my by. Put off your bi tier rn marks until lo-morrow. Then,' tvhou ,vou try to say thorn dniiborata- ly. you'll fltd that you huv i forgotion ' them, and . ton yoai't lulnr, itli! how lad you will b i that you did! Be iroo l-naturod. my boy. B.iluving mid outlo with the world, and you'll bo siiuizhI to see how dearly and tomlor- ly the worried, tired, voxod, harrassod ild world loviis you. Burdett, in Ckioago Journal. " Helpful Hou eehold Hints. Forfooiirlng steel knives, rub twt, roinmnn, Intra I ricks togothor, pit tho dust thus obtalnod lit iib 'xlus liunily j'lnoo; you will find nothing bettor. D p a damp cloth flnt In soft soup, then In lino sand to sour tinwaro, wash la hot water, when dry rub with a soft paper dipped In soda, it will look llko now. , Mix slovo blacking with vlnognr tt the consistency nf cream, add a pinch of sugar, rub with a brush, it will give a bountiful nnd lasting polish. It, ill the lnsldo of tomato cans, Jusl nf or tho fruit hat boon o up lud out, with a cloth covored wiili soda, it wilt brlghlon llioin wondorfully. Uaiso your broad lit a well-buttered itoiiojir, warm the jr well In enld weather boforj pn:il.ig tho dough in. Sjw carpet lags on tho machine it tavos belli time and labor, fold the tame as io sow by hand, run iu nnd out on the sumo side, sew awhile then ell p mid wind. liounho'd. m m Ait n r my of sparrows nnd othor birds mot n siuldcu and not to say x culiar death In Cincinnati. An tniuionla tank exploded, filling tho air with the fume J of the drug, tlioro by asphyxiating nenrly all tho small inliuals in the neighborhood, together villi a liorso which retpondsl to tho tlarm of fire sent out. ' Whatever loinpi-r of mind wo diooss will surely bcoiiitie clironlo In line, nnd will " be known to Ihote tmong whom we live as our temper, mrown pnrtlonlar isinpor, n dis inguishod from the tempers of o Jier MOpU THE KING OF ANNIM. I.lfo of lliii i'nil-HuR loiiren Iu Ills l'ilai at liux. Despite the clvilllng attempts of the French, life in the royal palueo of Hue continues unchtingcd. The King's Ipu-oin is composed of a hundred women, who aro recruited chlelly from tmong the daughters of functionaries. ')nee within tho palace they cease all ioinmunication with their families, tnd become, so to speak, prisoners, i'hey are divided into nine classes or ranks, and are fed and clothed at tho jxpenso of the state. Those belong ing to the first class receive y wly &H) ligatures (7 ligatures are equal to 75 Hints'), 20 bushels of rice, and 48 pieces qf silk; thoy have each ton torvauts. The Queen receives 1,000 ligatures, 300 bushels of rice, and 60 ilecoH of silk. The King's mot hor, itrnnge to say, ht allowed more than the Quoen. She receives lO.OW liga tures, 1,IX)0 bushels of rice, and pres ents of all kinds in tho shape of cloth ing nnd jewelry. The King is attend ed daily by a nuraberof women, chosen !rmn all tho ranks of the harem. Fhirty of them mount guard at the loors of his Majesty's private apart ments. Five aro attached constantly to 'tis perrton; it is these who have charge f his toilette: they dress him, perfume lim, pare his long nails, and arrange lis turban. They also attend on him it table. The King takes three meals i day. F.nch comprises fifty dishes, irepared by fifty cooks. The d'.-dies ire borne to the door of the dining- room by the cooks, who hand them over to tltH w;omen on duty, for no males re pcimitted to enter the royal apart ments. His Majesty drinks, as a rule. MHHiliar kind of scented spirit es pecially distilled for him, but occa sionally, on tho advice of the doctors, he takes a little Bordeaux wine. The piiintity of rice eaten by his Majesty is always the same; it is measured anil weighed; but should his appetite fall off, and ho bo unablo to consume the prescrilied amount, thon the doctors ire Milled In to provide remedies, of which they have to partake them tolvei before the King will touch them. His Majesty, it appears, is a hard worker, notwithstanding his ef feminacy. He risos at five and goes to bed at eight. All the affairs of the country pass through his hands. At regular periods ho makes a tour of his iomnlns to see how his subjects are shotting on. and to redress their gricv- inccs, should they have any. In short, he appears to be the paragon of a mon arch. Vhiladdphin Telegraph. GYPSY QUARTERS. Life of the KumIhq Oillvera Who Are llullil- Ing th Tranicitiiplitn ItnUwsx. A charming sketch of the quarters ot the chief architect of tho Trans Baepian railway, General Annenkoff, Is given in tho 'cteMburgr Zcilun;;. .Vonrly midway between Samarcand tnd Anm-Darlii, soys a correspondent it tho gypsy encampment, on a soil of day nnd gravel, stands the railway train In whichTwe live. It consists of from forty to fifty carriages. The first arr.liigo Is tho rosldenco of General innenkolT; on the lowor floor aro his ffork-room, his sleeping apartment uid the roonfsbf his secretary; on the ippor floor are the quarters of th; tervants und interpreters. The soeono mrrlago is tho general dining hall, In ivhich from twelve to twenty persous breakfast and havo dinner nnmclv. he ortloors of tho railway battalion. bo officials, the secretary aud invited tnd casual visitors. The casual vis itors are persons who havo come by tho new railway, which has not yet becu publicly opened, and who aro on their way further into the country. Tito next carriages aro raado into a fcKehon and pantry, which is replen ished by puit.'hases at the two nearest towns and at tho surrounding villages. Ono of the General's servants drives twico a week to Tchardshul to buy white bread, vegetables and now aud then excellent fish and fresh caviar. Tho Buchura Inief and mutton are very good and cheap; tho nntives have plonty of poultry for sale and enor mous quantities of wild ducks, thou sands of which have their homes on tho Inland lakes. Dried fruit, rice and out-meal nr bought of tho Persian trader who follow the new railway line, and Buchara melons, the excel lence of which Sultan Ibtt Balnia recognized as long ago ns lfttf, and pomegranates are overy day brought fresh to our doors. Tho officers' car riages arc charmingly decorated with curpettt and rugs which tfio Emir has sent them. On tho upper floors of their ourrlag'os tholr servants and grooms have their rooms, and tho saddle horses live In tho front of their train, whore they are tied to posts. A post and telegraph otltoo, a hospital with a doctor's residence, and a chemist's shop complete the sUff quarters, be sides which their are a number of car riages for workmen. At Klsil-ToN tho station is finished, and at many other stations across the linos the work is briskly going on, and thou sands of newly-planted trees round them aro just beginning to shoot. Bismarck, liko all really great men, scorns at times to be inconsistent. For instance, ho Is said to refer to tho work of the press as "nothing but printer' ink spread on paper." But no man rends the papers more dili gently than he. Besides personally reading every day a dozen or more o't the loading journals from various Eu ropean capitals he keeps a staff of from four to six clerks constantly at work, scanning the columns of hun Ireds of papers from all parts of the vorld, and clipping out every item u; can possibly be of interest to him. CHEESE-MAKING NOTES. Dow Very Fulr Article Can IU Produe on the Farm. The night's milk should bo carefully strained and cooled in water and the vessels containing it should stand out of doors uniiovered all night Where six or more cows are kept there is no bettor vessel than the twenty-gallon. Iron-clad milk can. For a loss amount of milk, any wide-mouthed receptacle will do. The mornlng'g milk should be well cooled and aired out of doors until at least seven o'clock. Tho proper temporaturo for coagulation la about 82. Some kind of a warm bath la needed in which to place the milk. A small-sized self-hoatlng vat is the beet possible contrivance. Without the plan of tho Inner and outer vats no sort of control or certainty of tempera ture can be had. An Improvised vat Is the wash boiler, with some smaller tin vessol placed inside of it and the remain ing space filled with water. Most ex cellent choose has been made with such utensils. Whatever the appliance, tho water (tnd milk should be carefully warmod until the latter shows tho needed elevating tomporature. The iirepared rennet of the trade is the best possible form for small makers. Use it according to the directions for bringing a good, firm curd in fifty minutes. Tho fluid-ounce glass of the apothecary is tho best measure of the rennet Stir the milk gently for a few minutes after pouring in the rennet, and at the same timo add whatever coloring matter is desired. A cover should be placed over tha venl to prevent unduo radiation of the heat When the milk will urd before the fingers, cut it with a regular curd knife composed of soaio half-do.on blades. Cut down and across the vat Then. stir the curd a little with tho hands, if but one knife is in use. Again cut back and forth till tho pieties of the curd are, say, half an inch in size. Thon rest, to allow wheying off to set In, for about ton minutes. After that with hands and knife stir and cut till tho curd is as fine as small peas. Now apply more fire and gradually raise the temperature of the whey to blood heat, 98. This should occupy an in terval of at least half an hour. In this time keep the curd and whey in constant motion, that every particle may have a uniform condition with the rost This stage of work should bo finished about ten o'clock. Now wash down the sides of the vat with the warm whey, give it a good stirring, cover the whole with a cloth, and leave rennet, curd and whey at blood hoat, to act upon each othor till the needed changes in condition set In. A slight souring of the curd and whey Is the sensible evidence of the change to look for. This should be noted about noontime, but perhaps later. There are attendant Indications which the observer will note, but the ap proach of the acid state is the partic ular point for a beginner to look for. For a general statement. It will do to say that when .this change is fairly deemod present, it is time to draw the whey and set the curd. Tho curd should be dipped into something which will admit freo drainage for tho whoy, and then the salt be worked in thor oughly at the rate of 8 ounces of pure salt to 10 pounds of ourd. Curd thus mado will euro with smooth, solid rinds which are imper vious to all foes. The place fvrcurlng should be at a temperature of 70 with good, light, but not in direct ex posure to the sun heat Grease aud rub tho rinds sufficient to keep them smooth and Bhining. Tho moaning of these suggestions is that most scrupu lous attention is given to clean linors, with vigilant watchfulness from first to last. Francis Bamtx, in Farm and Home. SHOEING HORSES. HUtorlcal Points Unrnlnhftd with Practical Notes for farmer. The shoeing of horses is as old prob ably as the history of the general use ot this animal in war. At loost some covering provided to savo tho hoofs In journoys over rocky and broken ground. The Chinese have used tem porary foot oovorings; so have other nations. In fact the period when shoos were nailed to the feet of horses is lost in the obscurity of antiquity, but it is supposed to have had its origin in the East The Romans in the palmy days of tho Fmpiro, or rather certain persons of great wealth and high position, shod tholr favorite horses with gold. The nulled shoe ot motal came into England with William the Conquoror, and it came not only to stay, but to be generally adopted whorovor civiliza tion has extended. The shoeing of horses has not only bocomo general, but it has been abused. That is, there hits been too much constant shoeing of farm horses winter and summer. It has even re sulted in modifying the foot of the horse, destroying the extreme tough ness of the shell of the hoof, and rend ering the hoof tender. If tho farm horse is shod only when working on hard roods continuously, tho hoofs seldom wear too thin for the ordinary work of the farm. When shod, except for icy roads, the shoos are better without calkins, and for pretty much all work on the road, summer and winter, too pieces, or rathor what is known as three-quarter pieces, are better for the horse than full shoes. 'om. Field and Stock man. A young woman who married a one legged man says It doesn't take much to make her husband "hopping mad." KorriiUncn herald. POULTRY IN 'CONFINEMENT. Aftj'atoiu of Frclln and tsre Which b Hiild to lie Aliuont 1'erfti't. It booomes a problem with many persons who tauto fowls for either pleasure or profit, how to keep them as becomes necessary in confinement during a considerable part of the your, and yet have them do wolL There is a certain amount of fresh vegetable and animal food which they gather when running at large, and which seems almost essential to their woll being. But in their continued daily foraging expeditions the early vegetables havo to suffer, and the garden beds as woll as the tender plants are apt to bo torn up. for thoy somehow have a penchant for directing their destructive ener gies to the tidiest and most attract ive bods and choicest plats in the gar den: and the bright, bejeweled heads and spangled plumage of the intruders lose somewhat of their beuHity and at tractiveness when discovered wallow ing in your bed of early cucumbers, squashes or melons, and disporting their nimble toes and bills In the favor ite beds of succulent greens. Yet If In justice to the garden the poultry is shut up in their small quarters, now they almost pine away and beg tholr freedom of you until human nature can hardly deny them longer. It resolves il-Hilf then Into a question either of confinement of the poultry or destruction- of the garden, and the former alternative is generally chosen. Then comes the problem as ti what sort of feed can be furnished them to upproximate their out door bill of fore, for something like that seems necessary to keep thorn- In good condition, and more contented in the enforced confinement to which they are subjected. Wlillo It is not likely that any diet ary system could be found to take the place of that picked up by fowls run ning at large.yet we think from ourown experience that a very good substitute can bo given. In the first place a variety of the staple feed gridn should be af forded. For breakfast, ' well scalded corn meal, mixed some times with oat meal, barley meal or wheat bran, about one part of either of the latter kinds with two parts of tho corn moal.whlch should always be used as a basis, and 'alternating weekly or so with the oth ers. A light feed should be given at noon, also, for fowls In confinement, which may consist of cracked corn and cracked or whole wheat, about equal parts, or wheat screenings; about two or three times a week some kind of vegetable diet should be afforded, as choped potatoes (the small ones will do), chopped cabbage, onions, grass and clover, or any other substances from the garden which Is relished by them. But such articles should be chopped iup woll so they can bo readily swallowed, and seasoned with a littlo salt and pepper, or an rrcosional handful of ground ginger or fenugreek, which aro good stimu lants nnd tend to keep the flock in fine plumage and condition. Dried and ground beef scraps I alsojnix In the vegetable mass; and have found the desiccated dried fish scraps very ex cellent, supplying phosphorus and other needod elements for tho system, and to assist in egg production. It ii well to have a box of oyster shells and some ground bone within reach and if access is -not had to the gravelly ground, some small gravel stonei should Ito provided. We have thus hinted at a system of feeding and care by which wo claim fowls mav be kept in confinement dur ing the laying und breeding season and yet kept in good condition, made to ltty woll, and produce eggs of excel lent fertility. Of course it is not ex pected thnt every thing mentioned f hou Id bo done and provided, but a onornl course of procedure has been laid down that will bo successful. And this with the poultry doing well in confinement, and the garden growing and prospering, under the genial influence of sunshine and shower, unmolested by the depredat ing feet of the spoiler, the happy vil lager and his contented flock can await with pleasure the Incoming of the garden products whoso abundance will well repay the care and attention given ' thcm.-V. C. Harris, in Ohio Farmer. m At Lone Pino, Inyo County, CaL, is a rock that might easily be passed off for a petrified elephant A photo graph of the rock shows as like as pos sible to tho photograph of an elephant The trunk, tho eyes, the head and body are all as well formed in the pho tograph as if the camera had been turned toward a living animal. Tho wrinkles and folds In the skin of an elephant and the color are all repeated In the rock. Tho symmetry and pro portions of the living animal are re produced in this remarkable freak of nature. Virginia Pudding. Boil one quart of milk. Wet five tablospoonfuls of flour in milk or water and stir in. Add the yelks of four eggs and tho whites of two, bake an hour like cusUird. You may add a half cupful of raisins if you like. Beat the whites of two eggs which you reserved, and add sugar and lemon, spread over the top and brown in the oven. If the meringue is made very sweet it may be served without sauce, but to make It delicious, fur nish sauce with it Good Housekeep ing. m "What's that awful racket In the back room?" Inquired a customer of ono of the clerks. "Somebody trying to yell the roof off?" "It's the silent partner, sir; tho firm Is aXtor him for inure mouoy." Y. T. Sun. I PERSONAL AND IMPERSONAL. Tho late Vico-Presldont Whoolor gave away between forty and fifty thousand dollars during the closing years of his Ufa In the Stewart will cose at New York, Mr. Ansloy testified that Mrs. Stewart distributed nearly $1,500,000 among hor relativos before sho dlod. Fred Douglass has a fortune of :100,000, and thore are said to bo more than one hundred colored mon la Washington who are worth 25,0O0 or more. General Patrick Collins, who pre sided ovor tho St Louis convention, got his schooling In Ohio while work ing hard In a coal mine and on a farm. At sixteen he became an apprentice in Boston, and on the expiration of his ' apprenticeship had $1,100 to his credit Munemitsu Mutsu, the new Jap anese Minister to this country, is about forty-fl ve years of age. He is extremely learned and possesses groat executive ability. In 1877 he wan Imprisoned near Toklo for his connection with the Slgo rebellion. His sentence was for twelve years, but at the end of fire years tho Government released hint, having discovered that his offenso was less flagrant titan at first supposed. Dr. Lyman Abbott who has ac cepted tho call to Plymouth pulpit Is a man with remarkable capacity for work. In his jiorsonal appearance he is just tho opposite of hij famous pre decessor. He is tall und thin, with delicately-cut features and a flowing beard. One thing in common wi;i Mr. Beeohcr is the big slouch hat or wide-awake that adorns his head. Brother Simpson (examining a neighbor's horse behind the church sheds) "I ain't a-tryin' to work up no boss trade on the holy Sab'th. Taint my style o' doln' business. Sunday's for rellg'ous dootles. But I say, If you'll bring that thar mare o' yotirn round to-morrer mornin' I'll swap even, and throw in that old ram o' mine. I will. I swan I will!" Uar perys liazar. Ell Perkins, the alloged humorist was lately paid in his own coin, accord ing to the Albany Journal. He wrote to Mr. Caldwell, the general manager of the Michigan Contral railroad, for a pass over the Nickel Plate road. Caldwell Is a dignified gentleman, who soldom condescends to a joke, Perkins wrote what waa intended to be a funny letter, closing with: "Inolosed find five dollars if you can!" Mr. Cald well's reply acknowledged the receipt of the lettor briefly, and closed by say ing: "Inclosed find pass as requested if you can!" Mr. Perkins paid his fare. Alexander Graham Bell, the tele phone millionaire, has only just turned his fortieth year, and yet his hair and beard are streaked with gray. Mr. Bell is a Scotchman, and has only been in tills country since 1872. He was very poor when he landed, but he it very rich now, and his poor relations in Scotland have profited by his gen erosity. Mrs. Bell is a doaf-mute, but she undorstands lip-reading so well that her husband converses with hor the same as he would if she were not so afflicted, and no ono who hoars them suspects that she can not speak and hoar as othor people. m "A LITTLE NONSENSE." In a Temperance Hotel. Guest "Is there a chance for a man to got any spirits here?" Clerk "No sir, not the ghost of a chanco." Critic. A Cape Cod farmer says: "Thin larnin' e v'ry girl to play on tho piannor, and ev'ry boy to .bo a book-kocpor, will make pertuters five dollars a bushel aforo many years." Farmer's Wife(limplng into U houso) "That brindle cow kicked me, John, an' I'm afraid my leg Isbrokon." Farmer" Gash ding that critter! I the milk spilled." Texas Silings. Husband "That gas ought to be turnod down. It Is singing away thore in lively style." Wife (laughingly) "Singing, eh? In what motor ia the music? Can you toll. moP" Husband (crossly) "Yes. Gas meter." Lowell Citizen. A oountry girl, coming from the field, was told by her cousin that she "looked as frosh as a daisy klseod with dow." " Well, it wasn't any tel ler by that name, but it was Steve Jones that kissed me ; I told him that everyone in town would find it out" It is an excellont plan, the Ameri can Cultivator says, as soon as potatoes aro woll up to go over the piece and tVow a handful of a mixture of salt and ashes on each hill. The propor tion is soon washed down into the ground by rains. It repels insecta, makes tho potatoes fair and smooth' and holps to draw moisture to tho potato during a dry time. "Yes," said old Mrs. Loosetonguo, "I know when it's best to keep still about certain things, and running 'round talking out my neighbors fat somothing I won't do. There's enough I could tell If I wanted to, but I won't If folks want to know that that stuck up Mrs. Lofty has an own brother in State's prison thoy can find it out from somebody besides me. I'll not tell it to anybody. I ain't a talkin' person, I ain't" "Fain would I write a poem on the delights of fishing; but ah, me! I can not find a word to rhyme with angleworm,'" sighed Pisistratus, aa he gazed thoughtfully into the dark, sullen waters. "But why must yon put that word at the end of a liner queried Eucalyptus.- "Because an an gleworm is always at the end of a line," hissed Pisistratus between hut set teeth; and for a long time it wan so still that one could distinctly bear a poach blow. WA 9