Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (May 19, 1888)
MSTRESS0F A Mint. Valualil 11 . women have not only as uecee.loit. for there Is hie Colorado mine, the bylpli, Mr Funny A. Kerr, of "upreileit of the company. '.. otiier women, unieny in ru ,,t including aeveral in other Tt,e country, are tlio atock She was present recently at f renri'soiuswve mphi- lerence vith the Kansas City II""" . .,.,1 lix.U twirt In tlin i n ii'st as H m in woul(' nftVe J ? she purchased her 1 MTBral ')' ago without any ."-.kin" it horself. but before V lowned it long somebody offered f double what she had paid. bjfto th nkinj:. ami she con j ihtt if it wine worth so much to ,,!,.,! If l " !.. t .ia vulimlilit foP her. ilWM J" ' iberwonicn. who were interested h 1 in the mine, weakened, but ',, ,ht she knew what she was !i Ixiih'ht thorn out Then she work to get up a company in ' ir women should own stock. iboal , year ago she organized it elected pivsiilcnU m,ne is located o:. Battle Moun- KLHl V'llll, tin uw Ln.nviirand Kio Grande railroad, J"v" . ......,w J. .11 i.l jt;V 18 sJUU.UUV, Jim J "I'i THE "KICKER" MAN. Reault of Rom Attempt to Ignore Ilia In a Social Way. The last number of (lie Arizona Kicker contains the following: "There is no use in attempting to disguise the fact that certain rings and factions In this gulch have f r the last three months made desperate attempt." to Ignore the existence of the Kicker. Having failed to frighten or bribe us, ostracism was their little game. They determined to freeze lis out. We first becameaware of this movement three months ago, when Mrs. Judge Gilder sleeve gave her blowout. At that time we received the following card: Aii Buitlomun attending thlt -e- ceptlon will be expected j I to wear a white lhlrt. t under the Atlantic with its uiiexplore I secret, over the vine-clad regions of Kurope. and under the Mediterranean, with talro. the land of the Hi.irnolis. The time was three o'clock In the morning, just after t heavy nijht work, "gootl-night having been received on tho last press dispatch. I ho dramatis pi rsonas were .... U forsalo.. Mrs. Kerr em i'.nt,iid they have already worked Del 600 feet Into the mountain, ire taking out ore right along, fenerul run assays high, and four (ttshsve yielded $1,000 a ton. The arrears, tracks and other equip- ire all In and big profits right l,t For tho Iron Moss mine, in neighborhood. $4,000,000 has bwnuflered and refused, and Pros uKcrnlon't see why hor mine isu't h u much or moro. Kerr is a large, fine-looking ",M with dark hair, large brown lind regular features. Shedoesn t erwith politics or women srignis, devotes her entire attention to She already owns another the Pocahontas, wliicu is not eloped, but which she says she is ,tobe"in on as soon as me oiypn 6 .. ... Cl, ia in! a normaneiu biiucobb. enthusiast on tho subjoct of women mining. She says many Denver . . . 1 f 1 m'B sre interested in mines, nuu Gunnison woman lives at a mine ooj and boards the men. but she iflf docs not manage it Mrs. Kerr are she is the only woman mine uer in the country. N. Y. Sun ing. e, "The Inference was as plain as the pimples on Mrs. Judge Gildersleeve's nose. They thought we hadn't a white shirt They thought we'd attend with an army blanket thrown carelessly over our shoulders. The object was to let us know that Mrs. Jiulge Gihlcrsleeve didn't look upon us as knowing what belonged to manners. It was all rieht. We didn't go. As to whether tho Gil dersloeve ring came out ahead opinions i) liter. Our account of the party, head ed: "Gathering of Vultures." is still going the rounds of the press. In that article we proved Judge Gildersleeve to be an embezzler and a horse-thief, and we adduced positive evidence that Mrs. Judge was a broken-down and played-out fortune-teller who had been compelled to skip from St. Louis. The Judge called at the Kicker office next day with a shotgun, but when we brought out more letters proofs that he had served time in three prisons, and that Mrs. Judge stilt had the work house cut on her hair when she arrived in Arizona, the Judge didn't shoot The Jackass Hill set next tried to make i sing small. They got mad because wo weren't pulling them in ev ery issue. Colonel Docker had two shillings' worth of repairs made to his mule harness, and the Kicker didn't notice it Mrs. Prot Frothingham turned an old silk dress from top-to bottom, and the A'tcJfcerdidn tcomeont ENGLAND'S OWN, FOG. A Sort and ,lrainlii ThlrknaM That Ef fectually Khuta Off Vlalon, To the mariner the fog is about tho most obnoxious of all the conditions of hiTocatioiL He is not likely to un derstand me, then, w hen I speak of it beauties; vet 1 must assure him, never theless, that many lovely atmospheric and other eflects are pro J ue jd on tho waters by these luminous, enfolding bodies of vapor, the silence of whoso white caverns is violated in these sci entific times by tho horrible braying of the steam horn ami tho ternhed tint tering of tho engine room bell. The kind of fog I have in my mind Is tho snowlike body of vapor sometimes not verv much taller than the tolkstone cliffs, sometimes so low lying, indeed, that you may seo the lofty spars of a bie ship forking out of it into tho blue air and bright sunshine, when the rest of the structure is as absolutely hidden as an object rolled up In wool. As rule very little wind accompanies their appearances. The mass of delic to. smokelike, sparkling particles slides alonsr softly, and it is therefore slow and tender in its rovolations, submit ting nothing which tho manner of its discovery does not render beautiful. A man standing on the deck of a ship iu the heart of a soft and gloaming thickness may not be able to seo the main-mast from tho distance of the wheel. Tim nilenre Is nociiliar: there is a cer- Francisco. Cal., who wants - ' ' ...... , , lain qliailiy )I O.'l'ressivoiitrss ifc, I n mi s uu. i nor is this wholly fanciful, for though transaction. THE ELECTRIC WIRE. Marrala of Talograplile Communiratina MrlklUfl iupllHl One of the marvels of telegraphy was fully demonstrated when operators In the Western Union office iu this city carried on an Interesting conversation over hill and dale, over mountains capped with snow, through valley of perennial green. PERSONAL AND LITERARY. Alexander Graham Hell, of Wash. Ington, the well-known telephone in ventor, whenever he visits Gotham. keeps a weather eye out for tlio ubi quitous Interviewers. Nothing can induce him to talk telephone, unless there Is soino urgent case that no knows something about Mr. George Konnan. the Siberian traveler and writer, has been black listed by the Russian Government and will" not be permitted to re-enter tho Czar's dominions. "I expected, of course,"" sava Mr. Kennan, "to bo on the Russian blacklist I am put only thankful that I succeeded in with all of my three operator, and the way the affair crossing tho frontier with M I of m enmo about was a follows: "wterlal and papers coming this waj. Have you a cigar, SOCIETIES. UOESJC LOIHIK NO. It. A. F. ASI A. M I n rat ami Iklrtl vt eilueauajr in I 17U0ESJC 11 MecUl atonth. SI'KS'CKR ni'TTK UHKIK NO. . I. O. O. W. Mceti every Tiii'wla)' evening. M'IMAWHALA KNOAMl'MKNT NO. . 1 Meet, on the aecoml and fourth W days In each month; fjUT.KNK I.OIMJK NO. IS, A. O. U. W. J Mwt al MaMHilo Hall the aecomi and fourth Fridays In each month. M. W. T M.OKARY POST NO. 40. 0. A. It MKKTS tl. at Masonic Hall tliellmt and third Fri days of each month, lit' order. C'ommsnukh. .mi, 1, (P. u. I . ni r.n. i a niKlit III Odd Kcllowa' W. O. T. HORRIBLE CRUELTY. mil Eieeatlon I'erformed In 1757 In the Pari Haatlle. fie of the most ghastly scones which ever witnessed in this house ol Irors occurred in January, 1757, i poor mad Damiens attompted to ihlouis XV, with a very small pen- 'ik "M. do Macbault had him ied and immediately tortured. His I? were burned with a red-hot irou." :iD,imiens would not confess to an mpted murder. Ho had only in led giving tho King a salutary les i. The fearful "question of tho f was applied to the miserable n,nd "there were twenty other ex- tioners present from various places the provinces." The ghastly finale ! tale is told at great length, and orrible picture' it is which Colonel ;h,mi gives of the execution of less 1 1 century and a. half ago at the tropolis of culture. The leering enly executioners, the silent fSts, the heartless brutes who ap d the "question," the spoil-bound .titmle, and tho center of interest, vietim, with agony and undaunt- courage mingled in his drawn fea- Pe boiling fluid has been poured in the wounds which a strong, stout kutioner has had creat difficulty in icting by tearing away witli his chers pieces of flesh, and then Hie horses, each held by an excU' jw, now gave a pull, and the same nonv was repeated a quarter of an "f afterward, then ncain and nsrain ihout success. Damiens raised bis idanrl UrA-o,1 ainnnil It. was found "Mssry to add two more horses to " harnessed to the thiirhs, which ie six horses, but this did not sue' i At last Samson, the executioner, Ing there was no hope of making a s of it, sent to ask the gentlemen Parliament if they would not like "to cut Damiens to pieces. Orders. ?ver, were piven to make fresh but the horses turned restive. I one of those hnrnessed to the As fell. After several more at P1 and an application of the knife " details tiro too ghastly for trans ':" the terrible tragedy was "glit to a closo bv the trunk of the tim beinff burned. The hideous "ctacle lasted sixteen hours. Pal '' Gazette. rA snow-flake is bv itself a very lisrht ; wining affair, fcnough ol them '"gin concert can put a veto on all Plans and time-tables and telegraph gements and general business ""actions of the countrvfor days to- Votes are much like snow. "tea-. scattered they amount to noth- ....... . "usoiioatea ihey are irresisuuie. Traveler. Chief All clear. Hob? Hob You bet; but I'll keep It Chief You will? Who aro you work ing with, Tom? Tom Chicago. I've old Fox here. ll's coins' to turn on tho cable ofllco. ind bvlho Mortal Frost I'll speak with Valentin or bust "Co. Co. Co. Ch, rattled off tho sounds, and "L I, I, Co." came in response. "There is tho cable ofl'ice," said tho Chicago operator; "go for him, old lot IW. To Valentin Let ns have London, now, iileasc Tor Hay. Valentin to London Hero Is fvm to speak the caule 1UTTK LODGK NO. SI7, 1) every ctaluruay Hall. rKADINO 8TAH HANDOKIIOI'K. MKKTS J at the ('. I'. C'hiin h every Hnnday atr noon at Visitor made welcome. thore bo a deep hush on the sea, yet when you emerge Into clear air the difference betwoen the stillness you have quitted and that which you have entered is instantly perceptible. Pres ently there is a little flaw, a chasm L ndon to San Francisco Polighted 'At meet vou by wire. It is juststrik- nir noon by St. Paul s clock, nnd very . . . .i .i :niV. as usual, now is mo wenuu-r :here? This is wonderful." responded San owns in the luminous body of white- fianciseo. "It is half-past fouro' clock, ncss; tho space ol water tnai glances Standard time here, and noi yciunj- lik steel around tho ship enlarges its I M,t Ve receive manv cables from To nn ndmlrinff correspondent at New London, John Greenleaf Whittier recently wrote that "Maud Muller was not composed as astory ol ins own life, ns has sometimes been Intimated. Hut Maud" had a real prototype In a country-girl of whom he obtained a drink while ruling by, and who mou estlv raked the hay up about her bnro ankles while ho was drinking the water. Senator Cameron. Captain lingers . . .. I. . 1. l 4 f- ana omers, who iibvb wu ii,i.-mh4 bv special car in tho est, recently side-tracked the coach and drovo to a neighboring ranch. While they were away a gang of drunken cow-boys sur rounded the car, lassooed the con ductor and tho three colored servants, and when tho Senator and his com pany camo up stopped their horses and threatened all sorts of things. It required considerable diplomacy to In duce them to go away without first riddling tho coach with pistol balls and having "more fun with tho coons." Charles Henry Jones Taylor. L lilt ed States Minister, who is now In this rotintrv on leave ot absence, is a i.m 0. C. K R. TIM k TABLE. Mail Train "ortli, 4:1.1 a. m. Mail train south. VM r. M. KiiKene lx-l - lave north 9:00 A. M. Kinrene lociil Arrive :I0 v. M. OFFICE HOURS, EtlOENK CITY FOITOFT'Ca. Omicral Delivery, fmm 7 A. M. to 7 l. at. Money Order, fram 7 A. M. to 6 p. M. Itt'KlHter, from 7 A. M. loA r. u. Mails tor north close al Hint H. M. Mails tr south closo al S:dU l. M. Malls hy I.ihhI clime at S:30 a. m. Mails for Krnnklln close at 7 A. M. Monday and 'I'lninulHy. Mails for Mabel close at 7 A. M. Monday aad Thunulny, horizon; there is a general brightening London, but never had tho plens.:re ol ja,n,tv young colored man, who of light though all the forward part meeting you before. Any American! of the ship is still hidden In the smoth- i,.re? It is raining slightly. There er. and the only mast you can see looks ,re plenty of mushrooms on tho hills, as if it were sawed off a few feet above ,nd tho boy w ill be selling violets on the deck. If the const be nigh or ships .),e street corners to-day. ith a notice that sho had received an ther five-hiindred-dollar dress from Worth. Major Horublowcr put a porcelain doorknob on the front door of his adobe, and the Kicker didn't come out and list it as one of the en terprises bound to bring in new settlors and boom real estate. It was there fore determined to down us. Lily De Lisle, the red-headed ,daught of the one-legged county clerk, made her debut, but we were not Invited to a'le blow-out It was an ac tion intended to break our heart and we promptly countered. It was on our tip that the sheriff went up about ten o'clock that evening and gathered in two bigamists from New England, an embezzler from Ohio and a fugitive from Chicago, all of whom wore looked upon as the cream of socloty and were airing their frills and scol lops at the grand debuL We are here to stay, we put up our own shanty with our own hands. We board and lodge ourselves, and we have not only got the cost of our living down so fine, but are getting our white paper so cheap that we can make money on a list of thirty subscribers and three pages of dead ads. we are going to run the Ktcker after our own style, whether it pleases the bigbugs on Jackass Hill or tne naii-siarvcu coyotes of Poverty Hollow. Whilo we don't hanker after invitations toeucher parties and church socials, we don t propose to take a snub from any set While we are willing to boom the town we don't propose to sit up nights to lot the outside world know that some citizen has addod a bath-tub to his dugout or that some merchant has just received a fresh wad of bed-ticking. There have been some hints thrown nut hv thfl court-house ring mai we are to' be starved out Try it on gentle men! We are now fifteon dollars ahead of tho game, have paper enough on hand for ten weeks, and our living expenses last week footed up only sixty-seven cents. We came to stick. Detroit Free Press. be at hand, there will happen now a slow stealing out of objects, and the sight is one which I think every man who has seen it will reoall with admir ation. Off Dover a shin I was aboard of sail ed into the midst of such a fog as I am London, having secured a signal 'rom Cairo, wrote: "San Jrraneisco, 'al.. is on hero and sends greetings. I'iiev want to connect the wonderland f the now world with prehistoric dresses in the height of fashion ana seems to enjoy lifo to the utmost His position as American representative in Liberia pays him a year, anu he has little or nothing to do. He has traveled in England and on the Continent and has gained a cosmopol itan mauner which Is extremely Im pressive. He considers Liberia about the toughest spot on the face of tho earth, but has no intention of resigning Eugene City Business Directory. BKTTMAN, G.-Drr umxls, clothing groceries) and trcaeral merchandise, aouthHeat corner. Willamette and Kltfhth afreets CHAIN UltOS.-Hwlera In Jewelry, walchea, clocks and musical Inslrumi'iila, WillameU trout, between Hovonlli and Kighth. FKIKNDLY. 8. H.-Doslor In 'dry goods, cloth ing and Kcnvral inrchaniline, Willametta Street, between Kiitlith and Ninth. 01 LI J. P. Physician and auiveon. Willam ette street, between iSoveuth and Kighth. HOOKS, C- Keeps on hand floe wines, llouora. ciKars and a pool and billiard table. Wiluua etle street, between KIkIiUi and Ninth. HOHN, C1IAS. M.-aunsmllh. riltnaand ahoV ?una, breech and muulo loaders, for aala. ((pairing done In the neatest style and war ranted. Shop on Ninth street. LUCKKY. J. 8.-Watohmaker and Jeweler, keeps a fine stork of Ktiods in his line, AVlllara tte street, in Kilsworlh'i druit store. McCUtUKN, JAMK8-Cholce wines, liquor andciKara, Willamette street, between Kighth and Ninth. POST OKFICK-A new stock of standard; school books Just received at the post ottloa. ItHINEII ArtT, J. Il.-lloo te. sltrn and oarrlaff painter. W ark K'lat-anteed tirst-elasa otaeH. sold at lower nUm Ihsn hvanvnnein Kmreo. KffVPt Cnirir Say to San Francisco that it hi, present remunerative position describing and lay without motion for n pleasure to span half tho globe to Ouo paragraph in the will of the hours in tne miusi oi iu a) M,eak with them. i,,ta Svlvanus Cobb, ,the novelist anu The pleasure is mutual," signnled iol.n.iiB ran: "And I do sot It down Pom from the Western Union operating L. niv ,.xnrcsa desiro that no mem .. ... tt ...!.U .1... I J .. t room. i no ruciitc spcuMiiK wh m or (1 mv fivmily or relative er menu Vile through the Atlantic, the bay of ghnlj or , pUt on at any time any Biscay and the Mediterranean sea Is a .....ward bad ire of mourning. It no some trickle of the tido there may have been kent company witn the vapor. I here was no air. and the water came out ol the thickness to Iho bends with the polish and gleam of oil. There was nothing to break the quiet but the dis taut faint thunder of the wash of surf, or sometimes the remote tinkling ol a ship's bell, or the rattle of a little winch in some nearer craft trembling upon the ear liko musketry Presently there was a movement ol wind, nnd ns tho soft fingers of the draught of air tonderly drew aside the curtains of the mist the pictures offered were a series of beautiful surprises. All about us stood tho white fog upon tho sea in elbows and points, in seams, ravines and defiles, like to the scarred and precipitous front of chalk cliffs. and now there would oozo out a little wonderful feat Saw Francisco Call A SUSPICIOUS SIGN, I he Peculiar Kffect of Clean Shirt on Ten nessee Saw. Mill Men. An old fellow who was running a aw-mill down in tho Southern part of Tennessee had considerable trouble in 'cttinz a man who understood the - n ..... , business of a sawyer, finally, wnen iho owner of tho mill had become w holly discouraged, a rcspectablo fel low came along and asKeu xor a stuia- . M tion. lie slioweii a paper irom unu ui :ho lending mill men in tho country, smack, whose shadow within the vapor bating that tlio applicant was one . . iw.1,1 vn.i m.pnltinr till the sunshine the best of sawyers. He was engaged, smoteitintothoproportionsandcoloroi mil when he had been at work about some cutter or lugger-rigged craft, with three weeks, tho proprietor of the mill reddish mainsail gently swaying and a called him one morning nnd saut: n..'urpStfir or two over the rail; and -Mr. Collier, you ncedn t go .. 1M. .t!1 I ..I. 4 now, as tne snowline luicanuss wot a winij to blackness of crape or funeial weeds cast its gloom upon my memory. 1 would that mv beloved ones should seek tho brightness and fragrance of faith and trust in God rather than tho gloom which belongs to doubt and un rest 1 eo to tlnd more light Add ys not to the darkness who remain behind. God bless you all." ) m ' HUMOROUS. DR. L F. JONES, Physician and Surgeon. WILL ATTKNI) TO PUOrKSSIONAl. f calls day or night OrrN'K-Vp stain In Thus' brick: or can b found at K. H. Luckey & Co t drug store, Otfio hours: 9 to 12 M I to 1 p. M.. t to 8 p. M. DR. J. C. GRAY, "WICK OVKIt OMANUK BTOUK. vy work war run tod, LauftlilnK km administered for palalea traotlon of teeth. GEO. W. KINSEY. Justice of the Peace. Are you going to slyit down?" Yas, so fur 2 you air consarnod." What you don't want mo any rent nfresh some stout brig with black or checkered sides and a blue vein ol smoke going up straight outof her gal ley chimney and then arching over liko the curl of a plume, would be un veiled, and no matter how ugly the would be thus suddenly faction?" confessed the witchery of the shining -Oh. yas. so fur er. yo' work 'goes. entered her. longer.' Yas, that's it" 'Why. havon't I been giving satis- back sround of cloud and submitted her as dainty and de- lio-htful. full of a eraco that owed noth ing to form, so that cvon a wretched little coaster, with boom, foresail, and a suit of canvas as many colored ai Joseoh's coat met the eye clothed with beauty from tho buttons of her trucks ilnwn to tho tremulous silver of the re flection of her sails under her. During will contest in Baltimore 'J, Md.. one of the witnesses tes that the deceased had on one oc "n written a letter and it to fU in his house, warding them the premises. He further assert ; 'jt the deceased had told him that 7"!ivl a great many rats had "ed the warning and left A Model Tower of Silence. The Berlin Anthropological Museum hns just received a present of a very valuable and interesting nature through the generosity of a Persian banker, Sir Jamsadji Jijibhai. a model of one of the "towers of silence" in which the Parsees bury their dead. According to the religion of the Zo roastrians the three sacred elements, fire, earth and water, are not allowed to be desecrated by dead bodies, which accordingly are given to birds of prey. For this purpose high round towers are built on the hills, which have a circumference of 300 feet At the top of the tower is" a platform slop ing toward the center, where a cistern 150 feet deep is placed. The platlorm is divided into throe equal parts, set apart for the. bodies of men, women and children. As soon ns the naked corpses have been placed flocks of vul tures, which are always hovering around, begin their ghastly meal, and before long only the bare bones are left These are swept into the cistern i monna of water, with which the platform is flushed, and niter me oones are dissolved in the cistern the water passes through four subterranean ca nals and is then disinfected by means of a filter. VM ifall Gazette. . i . A Missouri man who had conscien tious scruples about taking the calh as a juror, stole two overcoats and $21 in frnm his fellow-iurors before .!. t'.anel was discharged. Lttroit free Press. "Then what Is the matter? "Wall. I have noticed that you put in too uiBiiy shirts. "I don't understand you Wall, you change your shirts too ifien. You have been wormn nero ow three weeks, an' I notice that you ,.,,t ,i ..I, mi n a nrt auoui every cii:iu lavs. "But my gracious, is there any Ti.n m-ociiniltr rrliminin of the land tliim wrontf in thatSs A IIVII I'S J " J Ba, I"" I ' f fJ . . . , , 7 ai.L -.11 ..r f.allr tlinr mnnton t l)G, motvi t ita rt'id inn iiuhii ui suuna u i -iu buiiio i.na - - starin" windows ashore, the but thar is to me. A feller came along vivid preen of verdure sloping to the here once and changed his shirt every .i ..' .. ,1... u-Viita olirnnL a ateamer I Iu'i-Ivh davs. CU"C If, .l.O ...n., 1" .......- f. -..i.t ....n..u .nHniilr pnm nn -VVidl." sa d the sawyor, -wna. cise Willi IHMIIZ lllllliuii - oi .,t iliA twinlrln rf fnnm linon the 111 i If- I (lid 1)0 lo?' rrlo Macmiltan's ' Bun away and married my daugh Magazine. rer. inai wnui - r - - . 1 .11... .1.... V. rrn.l hid .iiijo along a ieucr umv i.unfivu ... A Difference in Opinion. . . . Ml(lllt eVcr' ten days. Ho run :..... .i:..:., :!. l, fmilvW iw.iv with mv wife. Then another fol 111 111 IS 11 I lUllllllf, " .aarf - - - j , So your papa lets you have a second er changed his shirt about ever nine piece of pie sometimes, Bobby. I'm lavs, run away with my pocket-book ;f.i.l l. i. vnrv Indiilffent. that COIltaineU nueui. uom.rs, a... ii l .a v aiw J D Bobby Yes, sir; ma says he indulge! altogether too much, but I don t think so. K. Y. Sun. I that tho ofner a man changes lussiiiria ihu worse he is, ami feann that you moot run away with my mule colt I :....Lo i vou better go now while I ve '. . I .. 11 J.I...... .... 'V..1- -The new Federal building to M got my eye on you. preeted in Wilmington. N. C, will oc- tkr. cupy the lot on which the people of the town held a grand barbecue, loiioweu by a great torchlight parade, in 1815, in celebration of the ratification of the treaty of Ghent and General Jackson'i victory at New Orleans. It was th greatest event In the history of th town, and the oldest inhabitants tell the story of it with a glow of pride. Cheaper to Move. A s'ranger In Fort Worth, Tex., was struck bv the fign. "Commercial lw ... . . , t. ctive Agency, that was panned on ilm clnors of ollices all over tho town Speaking to a citizen of the place he nskcil if this agency was not a large affair, saying lhat they seemed to have . ... . . i i t. t... I ..ir,... nil nvi-r town. "Ah. that is old . n , i -run i.r .nr niri i ii. .1 1 1 1. . 1 ;li i iiiiiv. n "f-'-o ' ' I .. ,, .. . horse that he wants to sell, llie otn "Does marriage change a man?" at' a it writer. Denends on whom he marries. Somo women would make a man bald in six months. A Stroko of Business. He (de sirable catch) "How slender Miss Willoughby is!" She "Yes, and they say her mother was just like hor once. She weighs 2 10 now." Life. He (making a long call) "What very odd-looking clock, Miss Smith. Is it an heirloom?" She (suppressing a yawn) "O, no; it is a recent pur chase of papa's. He has a ponchant for such things. 1 was anoui 10 can your attention to it."-Chicaqo Trib une. Daniel, Once More. Teacher (at tho Mission Sunday-school) -"les. children, Daniel was cast Into a den of lions, but not one of them dared touch him. How strange " Pupil (scorn- fiiii,ri"Aw. dat's nuthin'. 1 seen a duck do thnt act in dor cirkis las year." Tid-Bits. -A prize offered by the superintenn a - . .. .1 ent of a Florida Sunday-school lor tne tmar nnnm. has been awarded to the writer of the following: rv. travail man is sometimes the saddest, The besl-humorod man Is somotlmes the mao de.t: Itut the heaviest man Is never the lightest, And the soberest man Is never the 'tightest. Merchant traveler. Mrs. De Hobson (the hostess) din vou dance. Mr. Lillie?" Mr. - j . ... ,i Lillie "O. dear, naw. 1 cawn mance. Mrs. De Hobson "Shall 1 present you t,. Miss Literati?" Mr. Lillie TKanlis. nw. I never talk. Mrs. De Hobson "I am afraid you are find Ing it l ather dull, but (happy thought) supper will be served shortly, Sun. "Franklin." said the professor, who was about t introduce I rot Morse to the alumni of a Western col logo Franklin drew the lightning from heaven and controlled Its power to harm, but it was left to Prof. Worse, irnn tlemen. to" puzzled to know cx actlv what ho should say. "It was loft to Prof. Morse, gentlemen, to reduce ft to a horizontal position." Hartford Pout. REAL KSTATK FOIl 8ALK-TOWN LOTS and anus. Collections promptly aV leuded to. SPORTSMAN'S EMPORIUM er day the animal kicked down a par tition in tho stable, got out into mc floor and kicked a (250 buggy to smith ercens, turned round and kicked eighl barrels of oats to pieces, scattering th contents over the floor, kicked his way into another part of the building and thence out of doors, and when discov ered was doing his best to demolish the gato of the stable yard. Bill Bowers, was the finds it che ipcr to move rent" bitrott Free Press. reply, than to He pay New Jersey is to have a v "trust" A scheme is on foot to niipolizo all the waler privileges of Spanish colony and make millions ol the pro'ect . Next tho sunshine air must go. Wu me a great county i.a;Mi'.i.r Examiner. HORN & PAINE, Practical Gunsmith s CUNS, RIFLI8, KIsMnif Tackle and Materials Sewiis Macbines asl Ke&dles of All Kinds Far Salt Repairing done In the neatest style and warranted. Quiii Loaned and Ammunition Furnishe Shop on Willametta Street. - '-N. Y. F. M. WILKINS. Practical Drngsst I GbBmis . DRUGS. MEDICINES. R,.l,ri. faint. Ulaaa. U, !la TOILET ARTICLES, Etc Physician' Prescription Compounded. DIALS an 11 Boot and Shoe Store A. HUNT, Proprietor. WUl kwraftw kwp a eoniilU itock ol Ladies' Misses' and Children's Slides! liVTTOW IfOOTH, Slippers, White and Black, Sandals, FINS KID SHOES, MEN'S AND BOY'S BOOTS AND SHOES. And In fact everything In the Boot an Hliue line, to whiuh I Intend to devota Dijr especial attention. MY COOD3 ARE FIHST-CLASiM And (tnaranteed aa repreaented, and wlU be wild for tlie loweal tirlces that ood article can be alfardeu. A.. Hunt. Central Market, FiHliciaAcWutlin PROPRIETORS. Will keep eonBtantlr on hand a full lupply at BEEF, MUTTON. PORK AND VEAL. Which they will aril at the Jowes. market price A fair ahare of the publio patronage tolieited TO TIIK MltllEHUl V will pay the hlifheat market prloe fo fa cattle, liom and iheep. Shop on Willamette Street, VUCFVE CITY. ORECON. Meat uuim U any part of th city fre ot cuarge.