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About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 24, 1887)
THE CHILDREN'S FRIEND: mm) Mm "A BCSOLK OF TOYS II K BAD FLCXO OS BIB BACK, SD KB LOOKED LIKB A PEDDLER JC61 .' nPEVINQ HIS SACS." THE ORIGIN OF CHRISTMAS. ' TO 85th of December Wu Originally me itoman Butnrnulla. The celebration' of Christmas as thi birthday of Jesus Is universal among tnobiians ui every aeci, and as such it Is regarded throughout Chrlsteudom aa the sweetest, holiest of all holidays. And with the long mooted question, Is Dec. 23 the anniversary of Christ's birth? we hava nothing to do. For it matters nothing whether it was on this particular date Hint uio Christ Child first Iny in iJetiiiehent's lowly manner. T.iis is the- day that has been ac cepted nud will be celebrated to the end of time. It will bo of interest to most readers, however, to note that it was not until the Third or Fourth ceuturv that the present date wns agreed upon, and mat Jim. i, Jan. u, -Murcti yu and Sent. 29 were vnrlously observed during the eiiruer centuries oy various bodies ol Christians. The fixing of the date seems to have been accomplished by Julius I, who presided as poie or bishop of Koine irom ooj iu ouj a. u. Christmas is not alone nmong Chris tian holidays In being the follower of a somewhat similar holiday among the Da guns. In Home it was called the Sntur- nulla. And the observance of the wintei frost, now Christmas, was not confined to the Komnns. The holiday appears to have been kept by the Scandinavians, tht Persians aim me i'liuBiiicimis. anil per haps by many other people. All these na tions worshiped the sun, under one form oi other, as the giver of all life. Each gave the deity a different name. At Koine be was worshiped under one of the characters attributed to Sutnrn, the father of the gods; among the Scandinavians as Odin, oi Woden, the father of Thor; with the Per sians as Mithras, probably the same as the Irish Mithr, and with the Phoenicians his name was Daal or Bel. All these nations chose about the same I date foil this fimst. fhla la nmnuwl to j nave been caused by the feelings of de 1 light experienced shortly after Dec. 21, be ? cause the duys then begin to lengthen. jThenthesun begins his upward course, and spring and summer are approaching, i For somewhat similar reasons the pagans of old held a great midsummer feast at or about June 21. $ The midwinter festival of the Satur nalia was observed for several days in the most unrestrained manner; every body feasted and work was quite sus pended. Even the slaves were allowed complete liberty for the time being, laurels and evergreens were everywhere displayed, t ho same as now, and gifts were exchanged, and there were especial greet ings for the season. In the north these ti'joicings were carried on in some that ruder fashion, but were en ured into with not less hearty Withuilasm. Fires were everywhere kill died, both indoors and out, in honor of Odin and Thor; the Druids gathered thf sncred mistletoe, nnd both men and cattle were sacrificed to the savage divinities. The ancient Persians also burned immense bonfires at this season, nnd between them and the Druids of western Europe some sort of relationship existed. In the later days of the Roman empire the fcust of the Saturnalia deteriorated into a gross debauch so gross, Indeed, that few historians have enred to defile their pages with its details. It was for the purpose of counteias'lTig the evil influences of the Saturnalin, to the celebration of which the young of both sexes were very prone, that the early Christian teachers in Rome sought to edupt the rites of heathen rejoicing and render them subservient, instead of an tagonistic, to the cause of religion. Cer tain forms of amusement were forbidden and others not so gross were substituted, but it was a long time before the people and the clergy were of one mind regard ing the observances of Christmas. In Britain there were other modifica tions. To the modified Saturnalia were added first some of the Druidical rites and superstitions, and, after the arrival of the Saxons, some of the ceremonies of the ancient Germans nnd Scandinavians. Of these were the burning of the Yule log and the sujierstitions regarding the mis tletoe bough. In England the burning of the Yule log takes place Christmas eve. In feudal times the bringing In of the ponderous block and burning it on the wide hearth of the great chimney of the baronial hall was observed with the greatest rejoicing. The dragging of the Yule from the forest to the castle was an elaborate ceremony of itself, nnd as it passed, every wayfarer raised his hat, for well he knew that its fiamo would light up scenes of feasting and forgiveness of old wrongs, and that all would be welcome. The following quaint ditty, apropos of the Yule, is supposed to have been written during the reign of Henry VI: , Welcome be thou, heavenly King; W Icome, born on thi morning; i Welcome, for whom we tliall aing; Welcome Yule. Welcome be ye, Stephen and John; Welcome, innoornie every ooe: Welcome, Thomas, martyr one; Welcome Yule. Welcome he ye, good New Tear; Wi IconieTvelUb iliy, both in fere; Welcome, Minn loved and dear; Welcome Yule. Welcome he ye, Candlemas; Welcome be ye. queen of bliaa: Welcome hnth to more and leas; Welcome Yi.le. Welcome be ye I hat ore here; Welcome ail. and ina..e eod cheer; Welcome all. am t hrr year; Welcome Yule. !u company. Among the English the mistletoe bongh always hnng oer the center of the 'a on Christmas Eve, and any damsel S either by chance or on purpose, es herself beneath it has to pay the dty of being ki&sed by all the men 1 are present. f course none of the fair sex ever s herself undsr tha mistletoe with J aforethought TEA TABLE TALK. un applique, are used upon cloth gowns. NMttW In son of the new trim- ,L .7 1? . aud front- widening into a okeas it reaches the shoulders. , iin the head being set with a .ingle pearl, -"I, garnet, amethyst or other stone. .nCiU.tl.U1 ?nmni'1 re in vogue again. rmenterie. are .mongtne Host beautiful of the season's trimming! 1L TV ,ffh Vln8 v'vrtlike finish, uid braided all nv.. .i i . Ostrich foAthfir hmm nM I boy are made of feathers in all the natural iade,or all In black nri,u..t. ... i together. Colored lace balayeuse upon evening roascs are new. Thv k.n i , , , J . V.IUU nan white, but ara notanr.k D,i ,i.,i.,. when new. ' A noveltr in hrarvlta ( . ... .uiiijn Ut lltll- row ribbons of gold, which are tied in a iuuuw ixjw unot tor a clasp, which is set with pearls. Some of tho newest tea mmg hov nense anral sleevm. which ,,t ;.k , ..v ntvu nuu 'tmilK tU at tho shoulders, mill full lib.. V,,., wiigs to tho floor. Gimp, the veritablo artielnnf a .1 ago, has returned to us. Various sizes of uuo cow are utilized, and tho patterns are very finely wrought. Walkimr elovra of Rwo.lil, l;,l nj Jressed dogskin are worn with promenade costumes. Thcsa mm in imoct. ,f tl, ihades to match the toilet. Brotelles are a ftuitum of mn r.t nnn coRtumes, and very elaborato ejiaulettea are sometime attached to trimmings for tho " uouice, w do put on as braces. Except ill lot. IwntlH place in di-oss truuniings to nietullio threads, which aro used for nonli broideries, either alouo or mixed with cord. Shot stoekinus aro shown in wnp with evening gowns. Some of theso have open- r smpes in rener, wnicn run rrom the foot to the anklo. then cross tho leir hnrl. zoutally. SCIENTIFIC SQUIBS. Highly polished brass mav be kent alwv luU'ly bright audVreo from tarnish by thinly coating tho articles with a varnish of bleached shellac and alcohol. Manufacturers complain that the African rubbers now received do not yield, when strained aud cleaned, more than thirty to ntty-nve per cent, pure rubbor gum, owing to the natives adulterating with sawdust, bark dust, etc., to overcome, the inconvenient stickiness of the juice. The singular fact is demonstrated that. while the most rapid cannon shots scarcely attain a velocity of COO meters a second over SOD miles per hour meteorites are known to (leneti-aU) the air with a velocity of 40,000 or oven 00,000 meters per second, a velocity whlcb raises the air at once to a temperature of 4,000 degs. to 0,000 degs. Cent The new pencils introduced for writing upon glass, porcelain and metals in rod, white and blue are made by melting together sper maceti, four parts; tallow, three parts, and wax, two parts, and coloring the mixture with white lead, red lead or Prussian blue, as desired.' These pencils are convenient iu the laboratory, and save the trouble of label ing. With the aid of science even the desert of the Sahara is becoming inhabitable, and col onization is encouraged. Tho Lower Sahara is an immense basin of artesian waters, and the French aro forming fresh oases with skill and success, so that the number of cul tivated tracts Is increasing rapidly. After a period of thirty years forty-three oases have. 13,000 inhabitants, 130,000 trees between 1 and 7 years old, and 100,000 fruit trees. DOINGS OF SPORTSMEN. George Carvin, of Downertown, N. J., shot twenty-four rabbits in one day, and his friend, Clinton Butler, eloven. With six guns and six hounds a party from Peterson, N. J., took out of the brush and oodlaud of W atorloo thirty-one coons and fifteen rabbits. J. C. Barbre, of Leary, Ga., shot and killed pure -white partridge while hunting re cently. Ho says there were four more of hem in the covey. Four boys, all under 15 years of ago, went hunting near Little Rock, Ark., and in an our one of them, Arnold Drummoud, was laid out with both legs shattered, while an other bad lost a band. A Crawford county (To.) youth named Armagost went gunning for a pheasant for his sick mother, but returned disappointed. Ho had hardly entered the house when a crash of window glass was heard, and a plump partridge lay dead on the floor with rU neck broken. Fifteen thousand wild ducks shot in a single Jay is the record of the 3usquehanna fields, says The Baltimore American. William Oobsoi), of Havre de Li race, on tne oiiening day, eight years ago, killed 543, and burst a handsome gun before he stopped. He kept two men busy all day picking up dead ducks. He has the highest single record. RICH IN YEARS. In a chatty, intelligent and cheerful man ner Mrs." Frances Edgar, of Philadelphia, re lates the Incidents attending Lafayette's visit and tolls of her first glimpse of Wash ington. She has just passed her 100th birth day. Dr. Klicldon C. Johnson, of Reymour.Conn., the oldest physician in th state, died a few days ago, aged U0 years. He had lwen a suc cessful practicing physician there over sixty years. He was a graduate of the Yale Med ical school. Mr. Peter Haldeman Burnett, the first American governor of California, has lately completed his 80th year. He lives in San Francisco and enjoys capital health. Henor Pio Pico, the last Spanish governor, is still living in Los Angeles county. Ho is nearly W years old. Oren and Rnena Shelley, of Kenne, X. H., have been married sixty-seven years, during which time they have lived together in har mony. Mr. Shelley is 01 and his good wife 90 years of age. Thr y are bright aud Uvely, and expect to reach tlie century post Both iro natives of New England. Thomas C. Hanoe, of Macedon, is the old est voter in Now York state. He has reached the age of 100, and, asido from being a littk hard of bearing, retains all his faculties in as good condition as an ordinary man of TO. His oldest son is HI and his oldest grandson is W, while his olJest great grandson is S3. When Mr. Hance was born the tatftle of Yorktown was yet to U t ougtt NYE ATCONEY ISLAND. "lathing Co.tuiu.Xy.., llgur, Eleet Katuarka. Bathing costumes seem to be similar this 'ear to what t, u,ve ,n toc ii.- you occasionally tee a iir in eld hades like baby elephants' bivath or smoth ered shrimp pink, witli embroidered HJ.'t hell crab on them, but they are mostly lck. The oddest thing I u In sta-kings yes enlay, I think, was an artificial foot The "Wild Woman of the CaUkllla" is still n exhibition at the museum. Girls who are little inclined to be wild will do well to see 'ier. They would never lie wild anv more. Then I luthed. 1 feel quite proud of mr iit, because it does not bag at the knees, riii. I presume, U because the caeity of i bathing suit for bagging is comiwratively limited, and as mine seems to Img every where else it cannot Mud tune (o bag at the xneea. Leaving my clothe, my conscientious cruples and my teeth in charge of my valet, 1 midly waded out to meet my doom. If I isd lieen going out to meet anybody ele but i moist doom I would havedressed differen'ly. I heard several low, wealthy people nay, "Get onto the gun wiper going out to monkey with :he tide." One glorious lixiking being, with lier bathing trousers rolled up at the bottom that they could not get wet, said, in a tink ling voice: "There U a man who ought to have a sinker tied to bim. He will never drown, but if a land breeze springs up pretty trong ho will drift a long way out to sea." Alter 1 had Inhaled all the salt water that I thought was good for me, I retired fron the surf. 1 then dressed myself and strolled iloVg the strand. There is no charge for strolling along the strand. The poorest man ii New Yoik, armed with a large, warly .lub to keep off the bunko men, may stroll ilong the strind wlih perfect safety. Presently I came upon a young woman who was sitting by herself, gazing out to sea and weeping. At flint I thought she wai crying Iiecau9e some one had stolen her clothes while die was in tho surf, but I soon saw that I was wrong. She had her bathing suit an, nnd was sob bing and stabbing large holes iu the sand with her toe. "Pardon me," I said, with the air of a man il the world, "has your tram gone away and eft you, or have you swallowed one end of a breaker, as ! didl" "Please do not make game of me, sir," she taid, at the same time shrinking back. "It la nothing that could in the least interest you. Go away." "No," said I, huskily, "I cannot go away until the next boat, and I would lie tickled al most to death if I could phi ticlpate in your lorrow. I have no card with me, but I am connected with the press, aud it would be betler to give the story to me and let me get your exact langunge than to have it garbled by the other papers. Where do you reside!" "I reside at present in New York," she said, gulping down a sob three sizes too large for her, "and I am utterly alow." "Well, why don't you girls in New York who aro utterly alone have a reunion thi iummer at the Polo grounds! I have not lieen In New York vory long, but since I've been there it seems to me that you and the other utterly lonely girls have taken the town. What brought you to New York, may I ask!" "I came there to obtain employment, and it is all so strange and so harsh aud so heart less there." She then took off her oilskin (xmt and wept it almost full. "What kind of work bad you been accus tomed to!" "Well, I had not done anything, but had a ;ood general education aud could take notes n shorthand if a man would not talk too Cost I could also soon learn to ojierate a typewriter, I think." " Y ou hnd read in the papers, then, about ;be young women who came to New York tnd, after playing on the tyiewritcr for six nontln iu the office of a wealthy widower, harried html" "Yes, I had rend that, but I did not expect do so myself." "I am glad you did not, for you would have jeen disapK)iuted, perbaM. The npMirtuni ies for a young woman to obtain a situation n the office of a middle aged capitalist whose vife is consumptive and trying to draw to a lectio flush are getting to be rare, and though foa might win the esteem of such a one and ull bun to rest by knocking a few low, hrobblhg notes out of your typewriter, yet I vould advise you not to depend on finding .uoh a situation as that." "Then what would be your advice!" "You say you never stenographed very niuchp "No, but I studied It at school and can make all the character after I think a little while." "You think you could take down in short- band the address of a delilierate talker his nostefflce address, I mean!" "Oh, now you are guying me. Of course I annot write shorthand very fast, but 1 ould lie willing to learn." "What salary would you expect while earning'" "Oh, I would not demand a large salary at li st, but I would try, oh, so bard, to learn apidly." "You new tried other work, did yon, such is plastering, piloting on a steamboat, train lispatcbiug, lion taming, surveying, iiutrner ng, piaio tuning, pugilism, searching for the mrtb pole, singing ban in a minstrel cotn Kiuy, catching elephant for the trade, brak ii g on a passenger train, acting as the fore nan of a grand Jury, breaking colts, dealing iro, grinding aciasors, jumping off tbe .'irooklyn bridge, selling lightning rods, run- dug for sheriff, tending bar, robbing trains, umliering, cbirnodiziiig or ahurmakingl" "No, sir, I couldn't do any of those." "Then, if I were you, I would go home. I Vould aliandon New York to iu fate and re turn to my psrent. There you might teach tchool next winter, perhaps, and do welL "With your knowledge of stenography you might success! ully teach It. no doubt, but you ould not practice it. A business man who was in a hurry wHiid beaiiate ainul enipioy- 1 ig you it be thought you would have to go to the ratom or your truim ir your uooa very time you struck a bard word. , Hanoeiiing to Vjok down to tbe pier at that mitant 1 saw that my steamer was iinpai- iently waiting for me. and so, bidding my . . . . .III... kv ... l iiianown ineno aowu, mi i-n.i. . m ref ul not to breathe any of the night air, hick is SO prevalent at Coney bland this year, 1 touciied my bat, with a well bred air Jiat won 14 Have looiea mos maj m, mm u soon lost to sight-New Yat World. WHAT THEY WERE. John Melons was a lawyer. Stuart Robson wu a printer. Frank McNUh was a plumber. Joseph Whevlock wu a sailor. Anna Dickinson taught school a John T. Raymond was a clerk. Frank Dobaon was a hotel boy. Goorgo E. Atkins was a weaver. Sarah Bernhardt was a dressmaker. Edwin Forrest was a cabinet maker. Adelaide Noilsou was a child's nurse, Edward Harrlgan was a ship calker. Myron Leftlngwell, Sr., was a printer. Horry Miner was a New York druggist P. T. Barnum was a country storekeeper. Augustin Paly was a newspaper reporter. Mile, Albaui was a choir finger in Albany. George Hiear was a harness maker in Bos ton. Robert C. Milliard was in a broker's of fice. Denman Thompson was a farmer and a sol dier. Goorgo L. Fox, the clown, was in the army. 'onugcr McCaull was a colonel in tbe army. Emma Abbott was a choir singer In New York. Christine Nilsson sang for pennies at coun try fairs. Gus Phillip.! was a New York newspaper reporter. Aila Rohan was a school teacher iu Con necticut. , Emma Thurshy was a choir singer in Brooklyn. John McCullough was a foundryman in Pittsburg. Mark Price was a factory hand in Law. rence, Mail. Burtley Campbell's first' employment was in a brick yard. Frederick Warde was articled to a law (Inn in Loudon. Maurice Barrymore was at one time a lawyer, in London. The great Rachel was a street singer and tambourine player. Richard Mansfield was a reporter on Tho Burton Daily News, William E. Shoridau was a captain in the United States army. A. M. Palmer was librarian of tbo Mercan tile library, New Y'ork. John A. Mackny wns cash boy In a store; then call boy iu a theater. Tony Tastor, Ben Maglnley and George R, Edesou were circus clowns, Lotta used to dunce and sing for the "boys" in tho Sierra mining camps. It is said that more barbers turn actors than ooplo of any other trade. Frank Dangs took to the stago because be ould not make money at the law. Theodore. Thomas was a fiddler at 9 a .reek in the old Broadway theater. Kyrle Bellow was a sailor. His fafaor, J. 'X Bellow, the reader, was a clergymau. Lawrence Barrett was once a waiter in a rtMtuurunt Ho also served iu the army. Maude Granger was an employe in tin Weed sewing machine factory iu Hartford. Nate Salsbury was an artilleryman, a cow Kiy, a restaurant waiter and a house painter. "Billy" Florence used to peddle pacrs and jat peanuts iu tho gallery like others of his dud. Harry Richmond and Ackland von Boyle 'brothers, whoso name is Boyle) were stenog raphers. Maurico Strakosch was a tenor Iu Agram, where his manager considered him worth inly (0 a mouth. Col. Mnplcsou was a liaritono in an 0rru horus-oratenor; nobody who hoard him ould toll exactly which. Italo Campaninl, the tenor, was a black with, and received the scar on his cheek while serving under Oarilxildl. CURIOUS THINGS IN LIFE. A Philadelphia horse is using a glass eyo. A young society man of Keokuk, Iowa, von a wager made In jest by eating thirty -ix bananas at a sitting. A piano that had seen service for over 100 ears, and had music Iu it still, fetched but 1 rf an auction tho other day in Rood :ig, To, Fax hunters near Washington ran the fox nto town, and it dashed into a police station .nd upstairs into the dormitory, where It was ajiturod. A gloss eater turned up at Keokuk, la., eceiitly in the person of a young boy. Upon i wager he devoured half a lamp chimney md soamed to relish it as a sweet morsel. When Alonzo Bowman, of Lowndesvillo, 1. C., goes fox hunting he allows bis pet ihcep to run with the hounds, and bo says .hat in nine rases out of ten it is the sheep lhat ran tho fox down. A train ou the Michigan Central railway ecently ran from Jackson to Michigan City, l distance of l.Vt miles, in 171 minutes, mak ing several ato. This is reported to be tho .'astest time ever made on tho road A Urge white oak tree, owned by T. T. Iilburno, at Vernon, Ala., is one of the ' lotanical curiosities of tho state. Half of tho foliage of the tree is yellow all summer and lutuirji and tbe othor half is always a dork ;rocn. Miclincl Koch, a laborer on ono of the cool locks In Chicago, lit his pijie and loaned up igalnst a post for a smoke. Half an hour afterward a companion sow bim in tho same ittitudo ana tossed a piece, of coal at bim, ut bo did not move. lis was dead. A woman of lersey City, N. J., recently .'nought home a strange egg as a souvenir of t trip, end plotted it on tho parlor table. One .reek after sha was surprised to see a littlo irtlo break the shell of tbe egg and slowly Tawl out The heat of the room bad 'latched it While a dancing party was In progress at Tort Huron, Mich., tbe janitor of the hall mounted a stepladder with a poker in his hand and attempted to adjust an electric light The poker came in contact with an '-xioal section ot wire and tbe shock threw him to the floor, injuring him severely. A preacher in Fleming county, Ky., bor rowed a suit of clotbes to wear whllo bap izing a convert. Somewhere In the suit fcero was a deck of cards which the owner if the clothes forgot to take out, and while t'ie (arson and bis convert were in tbe water tbe cards began to float around them, to the great amazement of the spectators. Is there any one who still sneers at the white bone red haired girl theory! Let bim read th.t: A NaabviJlo man stood in a pool rnrjm, undecided bow to place bis money. He glanced out of the window as a girl with ted hair passed by, saw hr, whirled around. bet his money on tbe only gray bom la the race, and won a big pot of money. Tha Twe Talmagea, Talmige is dead. Not the preach r. but the manager of the Wabash railroad. Once when the Key. T. DeWltt Talmage was on a lecturing tour be mined his train at Toledo, He found that by taking another train be could catch the train he wanted at a certain junction If the first train could be got to wait bail an hour. Ho he telegraphed to the gen- end manager of the other road: "I lease bold train at Muggerville Junction till express arrive. TaLaUOl." Tbe reverend gentleman reached the Junc tion, and he found the train waiting for him. When the general manager of that particular road met Manager Talmage he said: "Yo found that train all right at Muggervilh Junction!" "What tralnr "Why, tbe train you telegraphed me t hold." "I never sent any such message," The manager showed bim the disatch "Oh," said the Wsliash man, aa light broki in on him, "that must have bevu the lie v. 1H Witt Talmage, of New York." "Great Scott I" cried the other In disgust, "and to think that I held a train for half an hour for a New York preacher l"Lukt Sharp in Detroit Free Press. The Child Is Mother of the Woman. Edlth-nere comes little Elsie. Shall wi ticak to hert Maliel No; dont you see she's got her doll in last year's carriage! Tld Bits. Good Wages Assured. Connecticut Man You give your son a classical education, that's my advice, Omaha Man But tbe boy wants to be a carpetiter. "No matter; I bare two' sons and both worl In the same factory; one is a good Latin scholar and the other Isn't, and the one who knows Latin makes twice as much a week a the other one "Humph I what sort of a factory is UP "It's a violin factory." "What earthly use is Latin to a man who makes violinap "Well, I swan I you westerners don't know anything. How do you suppoee a factory could turn out Strndlvariua violins if none ol the bands could write Latiu inscriptions P Omaha World. A Woeful History. Two friends are walking along the street One of them, pointing to a house, says; "There's a beautiful place, but it's enough to make a man sod to look at IU" "Why sol" "Ou account of its history, for, despite lb calm and serene surroundings, it was buili Umn the groans, tears, waitings and blood ot widows, orphans, old men and struggling women." " You don't say. Was it built by a railroad mouoolistP i "Oj uoby a dentist " Arknnsaw Traveler. Woman's Ways. When lovely woman's feet are serene, And such a sice her soul abhors, What doe she thenf Why, gracious hosvensl Hhe squeesea them la Dumber four. And when the years oome onward pacing And show her waist Increased in alse, What docs stntf Files to tighter lau.ng, Aud shows bur suffering Iu brr eyes. And when old age draws nigh and nlgher, What then does lovely women dof She makce herself a right down I r, And auya, "I'll soon he thirty-two." -J. Capp Iu New Yurk Mercury. Looking for aa Internal Improvement. He aat on a log on the banks of an Arkan saw creek, when a traveler came along and saluted: "Good day, mister, Waiting for a rlaep "That's just what I am waiting for," was tho reply. "Got a flntbont up stream P "No, sir. I'm a government engineer. Congress has appropriated $48,000 to improve this i iver, and I'm waiting for a rise so 1 rai find tha stream, How long since you saw anything of HP Wall Street News. The Conquering of Self. Dramntic Critic I can't Imagine how yo can apear to be so carried away with you' part when according to your own adiuUsio. you do not feel a word of It Great At tress I became proficient In that art by a long couisu of training before I wm on the stage, "At a drxmnllc school P "No, I was a sales girl Iu a millinery store and when customere were around I had ti admire all the new lionneta." Ouiuha World. Prevention Hatter than Cure. "I hope, my dear," said a newly made Bene diet, "if I should hapiwii to be out nighb occasionally you won't be lonely." "Oh, no, dear," she replied sweetly. "Il yon should find it necessary to be out I'll semi for ma to keep me company." He's home early every wight New York Bun. Popular Among the People. He (after church) What a very eloquent man the iter. Dr. Wbitechoker is, 11 Breezy. I was delighted with bim. Hhe (of Chicago) Yes, there are no flies oi Dr. Wbitechoker. New York Sun. A Curious Oversight. HusUnd (full of fine humor) There Is something very curious about Henry Ueorge Wife What's curious about hlmf Husband Why, be baau't f,oi any last name. New York Bun. A Doubtful Compliment. - Candid Critic Good photo, madam, tai it dors not do you Justice in fact It doss I give you credit Ancient Brtnter (in a flutter of rlgbtea modesty) Oh, sir! you flatter me Critic In fact it does not give yon rre' for tbe last fifteen years oi your age.-Judi UGfTf 'AND AfR?. Why Did Be ttaadT Unv stood ae oa the burning deck Why did he set use Unit Was It a bluff aaiid tbe wreck. Or did tbe boy stead patt What better thing for bim to de Id that tee ruddy place Than try to HI by drawing to Tbe Busk npoa ale faoa, tales h had a hand to show Him fixed bsyead a doubt r But what II was wen awver know He aever played It out. foor boy I whore Mrs. Hemaos sung; 111 luck, at best, wss sliai , Twer better far had some ooe rung A ould deck la oa him. Chicago TrlbtiD, If odra Fletloa. Western Author tin Nnw VnrVV scene of my new society novel is laid in Bos ton, and I have oome on to take a few note t so as to give it a Dromr local colorlnz. you ' know. Eastvn Author T dont am how vou find time to make such a Journey. I have never been out of New York. 'Not even for a summer vacation P 'Not a day; too busy. I write under con tract" " Well, well! What are you wrltmgp "Indian stories. "-Omaha World. Oently Boeklag. On the porch a maid Is sitting, Uently rooking ; And I watch the rhythmle flitting Of her stocking. Oa tbe porch together sluing, Interlocking; Bweeteat foolishness committing, Ueatly rocking. ' In a year th lady's knitting Me a stocking, And I'm by a cradle sitting, Ileal ly rocking. -New Tork World. t Vat Ha Very Tlad. Featherly (to Dumlcy, who has been to the race) - You look as though you had bad bad luck, Dumley. Uumley (bitterly)-Bod luck I I borrowed 100 from Ilrown to put up on th election. aud I'm a Mugwump if I dldnt lose every cent of It Featherly (soothingly) Oh, well, old man, It isn't a if the money came out of your own pocket, you know. Tid Kits, ' 4 Their Lurk. A maid went out one summer morn. She searched tbe fields all overt When to her lioiiie ah did return, . Hh brought a four-leaf clover, Her alster who remained at home, To bake conceived a andnn, And made some bUouita light as foam That floata upon tbe oonsa. She's wedded been who mails ih bread Fur half a year and ovtr, But not a suitor ha the maid Who found th four leaf clover. Uuwa Omrler. Aa I'ltlmaturo. Father (trying to read th paper) What was that awful rocket In the hall Just now! Mother One of the children full Jown the stairs, , , Father (Irnselbly)-Woll, you tell those children that If they cannot fall down stairs quietly tliey wou't be allowed to fall down them at all. New York Bun, Only a Little Word. . It was only a word That tlie silence stirred. But aa Import sad bad It A knell of despair To a loving pair Twas her falutr's on word, "Olt!H -UoatoB Budget. Angela Without Wing Preferred. They were doing a little love making be tweon acta, Just as the curtain went up he called her his angel "Hay," said a man In the next scat back, "couldn't you get your angel to wear her wings somewhere besides on her bat P Chi cago Times, Mustn't Fool with Dynamite, Some dynamite lay In a keg on day, Which a man kicked accidentally; Now b whang lb lyre ' Or a celestial choir In th realms of th sweet subsequently. Ogdeuaburg Karth. Untru Because Unnecessary. The force of habit Is always strong. A Baltimore young man who was sailing on a street car conductor's daughter says that the father wandered In at a rather late hour and owning tbe parlor door, mechanically ex claimed, "Bit close, pluaaal" Balllinore American. The Maw Kdltor. Producing many a brilliant gem, A credit to bla taste, 71 hard to think of each of them, Th settlug's only paste. Chicago Tribune. Adding Insult to Injury. Mr. Oldboy (a bachelor) It's all over, Oussy, my boy. Miss Bmlth has refused me. Oussy I suppose she let you down easy by promising to be a sister to youf Mr. Oldboy (bitterly)-No, b'thunder; she said she would be a daughter to mat Texas Sifting. Too Much of a Goad Thing, Ete. They're tired of turkey, goo and pie; . . They're sick of celery green, ) And one again they aadly algb tot bash and pork and bran. -Hotel Mali ta th Madding Crowd. IL U. II. (to prinoe) You are very late, Albert You must have made quite a coil in Mr. Sullivan. Prince (wearily) No, I saw him only a few momenta. It was standing on the liue that detained me. New York Bun, KeroMa Kate. ' He scraped away th moaay apray '. And scratched amid In lichen green, Until be read: "Kale Kelly, dead. Aged twenty-seven. Kerosene." -Tela Blftlngs. Her Greatest Domeatl Act. Timid Young Suitor wbo has won consent of papa) And now may I ask you, sir, whether ah whether your daughter has any domestic accoriplishmenUI l'a (sarcastically) Yes, sir; she some, times knit her brows. Detroit Free Pre, Why h Feared lb Husband A general war In Europe this ining year would be a dreadful thing. Wife (who contemplates a trip abroad)-. Yes, Indeed. It would so Interfere with our plans for the summer. Tbo Kpoch. 1 How He Out 'Craw flow cam you by that broken soar, I pray. How cam upon year fao that eruel scarf 1 called opoa an editor on ear Last winter, and 1 1 ft sis Oor ajar. -kostua Courier,